King Fulgreed and Other Tales for Happiness and Wisdom

KING FULGREED 1

More years ago than a blizzard has snowflakes, there lived a king named Fulgreed. He was gloriously rich, and he ruled the vast northern land of Frostbite.

King Fulgreed loved gold. He loved to run his fingers through the piles of gold, rubies, and diamonds beside his throne.

But one day this changed. What is wrong? he wondered angrily. My riches no longer give me any pleasure. Blast it all! Why am I so unhappy?

King Fulgreed leaped from his throne. He hurled his jeweled crown against the wall. It fell to the floor with a crumpled clang. Purnel! he yelled. Come here at once!

A young servant entered. Yes, your Majesty?

Bring me my weighted net, ordered the King. I wish to hunt racer-birds.

Purnel’s eyes grew wide. But Sire. The racer-birds have run south for the winter. The pea plants they feed on have all turned brown. The royal park is covered with snow. Even if the racer-birds were here, they couldn’t possibly-

I know that! snapped the King, his face turning red. You talk too much, Purnel. He pointed at the floor. Fetch me a new crown. That one fell and got smashed.

Yes, Sire. Purnel picked up the broken crown, bowed, and left the room.

At the back of the kitchen stood two wicker baskets. One was filled with smashed crowns. The other held repaired crowns. Thanks to the King’s temper, the royal jeweler was a busy man.

Purnel returned with a tall, gleaming crown. Its swirls of gold were studded with emeralds and rubies. King Fulgreed grunted triumphantly.

Just then Grak, chief of the guards, entered. Pardon, Sire. The Groaning Dragon is here to see you. He says it’s urgent.

That pest? said the King. Oh, all right.

The Groaning Dragon was always complaining, and King Fulgreed hated to be bothered. But the dragon was useful for scaring the King’s enemies away, so he couldn’t ignore the creature.

Soon a cloud of grey smoke pushed its way into the room. As the cloud thinned out, Purnel could see a scaly-green shape with two fiery eyes. Grak stood beside the huge creature. Very slowly, the dragon crawled to the King’s throne.

Well? King Fulgreed demanded.

Oooargh, the dragon groaned. I’ve got some painful ingrown claws. And the scales on my tail itch like crazy. But worst of all, I’m terribly hungry. As the creature spoke, a stream of smoke leaked from his jagged jaws.

The King stared at the dragon’s wide belly. It takes so much to fill you up, he grumbled. My food supplies are low.

This was a lie. King Fulgreed’s storerooms were crammed with enough food for two or three winters, but he hated to give anything away.

Ooarunh, the dragon groaned. Maybe you have a few murderers I could munch on. I love murderers.

No, said the King. We’ve had no killings for quite a while.

How about some nice, fat criminals? The dragon was beginning to drool. With big, juicy arms and thick legs.

No, said the King. There’s been no crime either.

Oooargh. Not even a few plump, naughty children?

Splat! A big glob of drool hit the floor.

The King rose up on his throne. Absolutely not.

The dragon sighed. Then a sly smile crept across his wrinkled face. Well, maybe some of your servants have displeased you?

At that, Purnel’s teeth began to chatter. Grak’s eyes bugged out, and inside his pants, his hairy knees trembled.

King Fulgreed looked from one to the other. No … Not yet, anyway. But I’ll keep that in mind.

Ooarunh. Please do, said the dragon. And he slowly crawled from the room, leaving a haze of grey smoke behind him.

2

King Fulgreed scowled. He was still in a foul mood but didn’t know why. He took off his new crown and looked at it. The gleaming red and green jewels gave him no pleasure at all.

There was a coughing at the door. Queen Selfa entered, slowly followed by Princess Page.

At the sight of Page, Purnel gaped in awe. His heart leapt like a lion at the bottom of a dark pit. He was secretly in love with the Princess, and she with him. But he was very poor. And so, his hope to marry her was as impossible as roses growing in the frozen snow.

What’s all this smoke? spluttered the Queen. That dreadful dragon’s been here again! How dare you let him in without asking me!

Sorry, my dear, said the King. He wanted some food, but I refused.

Good, said the Queen. I hate that groaning smoke-pot. Pfew! She fanned the air in disgust. I’m taking Page to the Duke of Proon’s for lunch. His son Fudbert will be there.

Excellent! cried the King. The old Duke is very rich. He’ll pay piles of gold for Fudbert to marry Page.

At these words, Purnel shuddered, and Page turned deathly pale. Fudbert was ugly as a wart hog’s nightmare. He was also selfish, sneaky, sweaty, and short.

Fudbert, said the King, is learning to be a knight. He’ll look handsome in a shiny suit of armor. They can be married as soon as he finishes knight school.

Queen Selfa and the Princess departed.

King Fulgreed scowled and stamped his foot. Bring me my lunch, Purnel. All this talk about food has made me hungry.

Yes, Sire. Right away!

The King sat sulking on his throne. From the kitchen came the sound of rattling dishes and scuffling feet. A low groan floated through the air. King Fulgreed did not seem to care.

Soon Purnel returned with a gold platter.

That looks burned! cried the King.

It can’t be, Sire. We kept it well above the fire.

King Fulgreed snorted. What shriveled meat! What puckered peas! Get down upon your hands and knees! I’ll set this platter on your back. Be quick, before my food gets cold!

Purnel obediently sank to the floor.

That’s it! King Fulgreed laughed. At least you’re able to serve me as a dinner table!

The King ate in silence. His food was really very tasty. It wasn’t burned at all. But after a few bites, he snarled angrily. Blast it! he cried. I should be satisfied and glad. Why do I feel so bored and sad? It’s like a poison in my heart. Is there no help, no antidote?

Just then, the table cleared its throat. It was Purnel. O Sire, he said. I think I know what you require.

You scrawny twerp! King Fulgreed roared. How could you know why I am bored? Grak! Grak!

The chief of the guards entered. Yes, your Majesty?

Send in my five wise men.

Yes, Sire.

Soon five fat men in blue robes entered the