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    Murder, Death And Frozen Peas: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #2
    Murder, Death And Frozen Peas: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #2
    Murder, Death And Frozen Peas: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #2
    Ebook88 pages1 hour

    Murder, Death And Frozen Peas: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #2

    By Mina Carter

    3.5/5

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    About this ebook

    Dad's preggers, mom's on the run, and Poseidon is threatening to dump an ocean on my town. Even worse? I have to bake a cake. We're all gonna die.

     

    The town of Boring is anything but when Lucifer's niece is at home. Living in hawt-sinfulness with her sexy werewolf boyfriend, Lucas, Jynx Morningstar has settled down into a life of domestic bliss.

     

    Kinda.

     

    Instead of the legions of hell, she has to contend with a pack who considers her their alpha female, and want to know when she and Lucas are getting married, the Annual Pack Alpha's Birthday Party Event Coordinator, and three very inappropriate ghostly grannies.

     

    Things take a turn for the unexpected when her father, the town healer witch, turns out to be pregnant, Jynx's mom, the infamous Lilleth, shows up, and Poseidon sends his mer-army to exact vengeance.

     

    It's going to take more than what a princess of hell's packing to deal with them all, but when the worse happens and someone she loves dies… Jynx might just find out she's far more than hell-born…

     

    Please note: contains seriously high amounts of snark, a wet pussy (in the bath) and a cross-dressing ghost with a habit of firing toast grenades. Oh, and a confused yeti.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMina Carter
    Release dateDec 6, 2018
    ISBN9781386423881
    Murder, Death And Frozen Peas: The Dramatic Life of a Demon Princess, #2
    Author

    Mina Carter

    Mina Carter was born and raised in Middle Earth (otherwise known as the Midlands, England). After a slew of careers ranging from logistics to land-surveying she can now be found in the wilds of Leicestershire with her husband, daughter and a cat who moved in and never left. Suffering the curse of eternal curiosity, Mina never tires of learning new skills which has led to Aromatherapy, Corsetry, Chain-maille making, Welding, Canoeing, Shooting, and pole-dancing to name but a few. A full-time author and cover artist, Mina can usually be found hunched over a keyboard or graphics tablet, frantically trying to get the images and words in her head out and onto the screen before they drive her mad. She's addicted to coffee and Dairy-lea cheese triangles.

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      Book preview

      Murder, Death And Frozen Peas - Mina Carter

      CHAPTER 1

      My name’s Jynx, and pancakes hate me.

      Like seriously, fucking hate me. I mean, come on, how hard can it be to throw some batter in a hot pan and cook delicious fluffiness? Apparently, though, you need three PhDs and a masters to even attempt it. Being a princess of hell? That doesn’t cut it.

      I poured the mixture into the pan, heard the fat sizzle, and watched as it instantly welded itself to the metal sides. Again. Nonstick, my ass.

      I don’t think you’re doing it right, said E-dub with a wrinkle of his nose.

      A hellcat, he currently wore his least intimidating form. Mainly because I’d banned him from wearing his fire and brimstone one in the house. So far I’d lost three rugs, two sets of curtains and my favorite underwear. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind trashed underwear… As long as it gets trashed in the fun way… Not in the my hellcat ate it and coughed it up as a furball way.

      So now, E-dub appeared to be a small, cute, orange house cat. And we are talking full on anime cute. Ear and tail floofs with big green eyes, complete with sparkles. How the fuck he got the sparkles I did not want to know. Probably magic more arcane than mine, and that was saying something.

      You don’t say, Captain Obvious! I snapped as I carried the pan, with its now welded-on contents, across the room to dump in the trash. The lid jawed open and I dropped the whole lot in. The pan belched as I turned away and spat the panhandle across the room where it embedded in the doorframe.

      I sighed. It was going to be one of those days.

      Okay. Which arsehole enchanted the trashcan? I demanded.

      There was a giggle behind me and I turned, already knowing what I’d see.

      Three old women hovered the other side of the kitchen table. Hovered as in full on spectral, feet off the floor, ghostly type hovering. Blue rinses, baggy cardigans, and brooches… Two of them were the very archetype of the little old granny. One even had a bag of knitting tucked under one arm.

      And that was the problem with being a half demon death witch. The normal rules didn’t apply. After I’d cast death out of the little town of Boring, these three reprobates had shown up. They were, apparently, my grannies. My dad’s side. (They’d have to be. On my mum’s side, I’m a Morningstar, niece to Satan… Needless to say if my grandfather on that side, the big G himself, had ever had a wife, no one had mentioned her. Like. Ever.)

      Two of the grannies (my dad’s granny, Nanny Amatore, and her mother, Little Nan) looked… Well I would have said innocent, but that’s totes suspect with this lot… Rather, they looked confused, so I turned to suspect number three.

      The third granny is well… Special. Yeah, special is the only way to describe the ghost who even now was shoehorned into a red sequined cocktail dress with a plunging neckline and thigh-high split, waltzing, or rather zooming around my kitchen, posing with a feather boa.

      It was an awesome dress… And Granny Frank’s very male flat chest, and Hoff-style chest rug totally did it justice. Let’s not mention the legs. Ever seen a ghost’s legs? Yeah… Not good. Eye bleach time. You see, Frank is not actually a granny. I think he’s actually my dad’s grandad. But… If he’d decided to cross dress in the afterlife, who was I to argue?

      Frank! What gives with the bin? I demanded, already so over this problem.

      Frank merely posed by the window and blew his reflection kisses. Realizing this was not a battle I could win, I zapped the bin with hellfire and it disappeared with a loud pop. It wasn’t gone, merely relocated to one of the lower levels of hell where it could be dealt with. After a few seconds, a new version popped up into place. Yeah… can you tell we have had a few culinary incidents?

      Grumbling under my breath, I moved around the kitchen. The pancakes were a dead loss once again, and I didn’t have any ingredients to try and make more. Checking the clock, I hissed and grabbed a couple of packets from the freezer. Ripping them open, I chucked the frozen flat discs in the microwave, and turned to make coffee.

      By the time the door opened to reveal my sexy werewolf boyfriend, Lucas, back from his morning run, there was a pile of steaming hot pancakes on a plate in the middle of the table, next to a pot of freshly made coffee.

      There’s my demon, he said with a smile, striding across the kitchen to pull me into his arms.

      Ewww, sweat! I warned him, trying to push him away, but not too hard. I did mention he is like… sex on legs, didn’t I? Let me tell you, werewolves are freaking hot… Especially alpha werewolves.

      Don’t be shy, he chuckled, pinning me between him and the cabinets to steal a kiss. You love it really… Ohhh, pancakes. Someone has been busy…

      And just like that I was abandoned in favor of the hot, steamy treat on the table. As he sat down to dig in, I shot E-dub a hard look. If the little wanker gave away my secret, he was a dead hellcat walking. I’m not entirely sure that, even as a princess of hell, I can kill a hellcat but I’ll damn sure give it a try.

      E-dub gave me an innocent look and, just because he’s a little wanker, decided that was the perfect moment to wash his nads. Right there on the kitchen counter.

      The door opened again, and a big, red-haired figure stormed through. My father, Rafe Amatore, and the town of Boring’s resident healer witch. Unlike normal, he didn’t head straight for the table with the pancakes and the coffee. Instead, he streamed through the kitchen with a garbled, gottagobebackinamomentsavemeacoffee. The door slammed behind him, but a second later it reopened and a tendril of peach lightning snaked through to zap E-dub in the butt.

      No washing balls in the kitchen! my father bellowed from the toilet under the stairs, a shout that was followed by the sound of retching.

      E-dub sulked off through the cat flap, somehow managing to slam it behind him. How the fuck do you

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