Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Miss Hildreth Wore Brown: Anecdotes of a Southern Belle
    Miss Hildreth Wore Brown: Anecdotes of a Southern Belle
    Miss Hildreth Wore Brown: Anecdotes of a Southern Belle
    Ebook141 pages

    Miss Hildreth Wore Brown: Anecdotes of a Southern Belle

    By Olivia deBelle Byrd

    4/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    “A delightful book of personal essays dedicated to delving into the mysteries of the modern Southern belle” (Janis Owens, author of My Brother Michael).
     
    With storytelling written in the finest Southern tradition from the soap operas of Chandler Street in the quaint town of Gainesville, Georgia, to a country store on the Alabama state line, Olivia deBelle Byrd delves with wit and amusement into the world of the Deep South with all its unique idiosyncrasies and colloquialisms. The characters who dance across the pages range from Great Aunt LottieMae, who is as “old-fashioned and opinionated as the day is long,” to Mrs. Brewton, who calls everyone “dahling” whether they are darling or not, to Isabella with her penchant for mint juleps and drama. Humorous anecdotes from a Christmas coffee, where one can converse with a lady who has Christmas trees with blinking lights dangling from her ears, to Sunday church, where a mink coat is mistaken for possum, will delight Southerners and baffle many a non-Southerner.
     
    “Olivia deBelle Byrd proves that she is the real thing—an authentic Southern Belle with stories galore. I can’t wait to give this hilarious and heartwarming book to all my sweet friends.”—Cassandra King, author of The Same Sweet Girls
     
    “Miss Hildreth Wore Brown covers everything from Sunday church, beauty pageants and Northern exposure with humorous insight. This is one that you’ll want to savor with a mint julep!” —Michael Morris, author of A Place Called Wiregrass
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherOpen Road Integrated Media
    Release dateMay 1, 2010
    ISBN9781600379147
    Miss Hildreth Wore Brown: Anecdotes of a Southern Belle

    Related to Miss Hildreth Wore Brown

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Olivia De Havilland Dies At 104, Starred In 'Gone With The Wind'

      Jul 26, 2020

      Olivia de Havilland, the last remaining star from the 1939 epic film "Gone With the Wind" and a two-time Academy Award winner who for decades was seen as the essence of Hollywood royalty, has died at her residence in Paris. She was 104. De Havilland,

      7 min read

    • Article

      The Murder Of James Bulger 30 Years On

      Feb 7, 2023

      This week marks 30 years since two-year-old James Bulger was abducted and murdered by two 10-year-old boys, Jon Venables and Robert Thompson. James would be in his 30s now. Would he be married? A father? With a career? All that was snatched away from

      4 min read

    • Article

      “As We Say Here In The South, ‘He Was Raised Right, Not Jerked Up’”

      Sep 12, 2019

      Reading the August/September 2019 issue, I marveled at a couple who collect buildings, laughed out loud at the naming of a dog, snickered at Elvis and creative cussin’, cried at the saving of a sea turtle, and got hungry from all the delicious food a

      2 min read

    • Article

      Monsters at Christmas

      Dec 15, 2020

      Monsters at Christmas
      4 min read

    • Article

      The Roush Review

      Feb 15, 2024

      The Roush Review
      3 min read

    • Article

      March Fiction

      Feb 15, 2022

      Run Rose Run by Dolly Parton and James Patterson (Century, £20) In 2018 the ever-prolific James Patterson got together with Bill Clinton to write the best-selling The President Is Missing: a novel that combined Clinton’s insider knowledge with Patter

      2 min read

    • Article

      Southern Secrets

      Jun 3, 2019

      Southern Secrets
      5 min read

    • Article

      LINDSAY & BRITNEY’S SECRET $1MILLION PLOT EXPOSED

      Jun 15, 2020

      It was the mid-2000s, and Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Nicole Richie were the names on everyone’s lips. They were in hot movies, hot clothes and hot clubs – with Paris’ lesser-known assistant, a Miss Kimberly Kardashian, usually ta

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Last Giraffes on Earth

      Mar 13, 2020

      The Last Giraffes on Earth
      13 min read

    • Article

      Preparation, Iowa

      Jan 28, 2020

      Preparation, Iowa
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Last Kennedy

      Apr 21, 2019

      The Last Kennedy
      16 min read

    • Article

      Royals Rocked By Tell-all Book

      Apr 17, 2022

      There’s been a deluge of royal tomes in recent years, but none so far has been as widely anticipated – or feared, if you’re a royal – than Tina Brown’s impending The Palace Papers: Inside The House Of Windsor – The Truth And The Turmoil. A close frie

      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Miss Hildreth Wore Brown

    4/5

    20 ratings8 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 4/5
      This is a light and humorous read. Olivia deBelle Byrd tells story seen through the eyes of a Southern Belle. Each story is very short so it would be an ideal book to keep in your purse when you need to wait. That would keep your spirits up and make you feel like a friend was chatting away along side you.Some things that I noticed that she says are Southern customs were the same ones that I grew up with in the Midwest. Writing thank you notes is the courteous thing to do and should not be forgotten. I laughed when she said that her daughter was writting thank notes for the gifts in advance. That was, before she even had a boyfriend. That reminded me of when I wrote thank you notes for the wedding gifts for about an hour of each day of our honeymoon.When in New York, she hung her purse on the back of the chair. A waiter came up to her and told her that she might as well be putting a sign on it that says "steal me". I remember long ago, when our family went to the New York World's Fair, my father laid his money down to buy something. A man scolded him and told him never to do that in New York. So this book will also spark memories for you if you are from the South or the Midwest.I recommend this slim volume of humor to anyone who is from the South or Midwest or just wants a laugh.
    • 5/5
      What a treat of a book! I feel like I just sat on the porch with a friend laughing our way through stories. I really like Southern humor in this style, just gentle stories that find the humor in every day events. It reminds me a little bit of one of my favorite comediennes, Jeanne Robertson, another Southern humorist, and takes me back to the columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution of Lewis Grizzard and Celestine Sibley. In this collection of essays, Olivia deBelle Byrd takes us through every stage of life. Her opening lines give a taste of what the book is like, "I got exactly two spankings growing up. That's one more than my daughter and 3,254 less than my son." Olivia tells tales of child-rearing and church going and shopping and hair - themes that every women will relate to, not just those raised in the South. All of the stories were great but I think she's at her best telling stories about her family. It's obvious that she loves them but everyone feels this way sometimes..."The only reason I've refrained from killing my husband is I really don't want to wear orange for the rest of my life." For anyone who's mother ever watched As The World Turns or nudged (nagged!) them about writing thank you notes, this book will have you laughing.
    • 4/5
      Delightful and entertaining would be the definition of this book if it was in the dictionary. I laughed and often out loud while reading this. It is witty, heartfelt and honest. A short but sweet read that us non southern belles could learn a lesson or two from.
    • 5/5
      This is a collection of short stories and every one of them made me laugh out loud, chuckle or say “yep”. I’ve heard many of the southern phrases and the book had a familiar, comfy feel to it.This is the second time I’ve read this book and it was just as funny as the first time. The author has a way with words and knows the south very well. I wouldn’t even know how to pick a favorite story, the are all my favorites. I plan on keeping this book nearby so that I can pick it up and read a random chapter whenever I need to lighten my mood.Anyone who is looking for a light, feel good read would like this, and I recommend you get a copy.
    • 4/5
      4.5 stars

      I’ve never laughed so hard while reading! This was absolutely hilarious! The book contains 41 short stories about childhood, motherhood and life in general in the South. I loved the writing style which was very down to earth.

      My favorite was Directionally Challenged. I can totally relate! I have no idea which way to held a map and can’t for the life of me to tell which way if North and which South.

      I truly recommend this if you want to read something light and funny. Quaranteed to give you good laugh!
    • 5/5
      I’ve never laughed so hard while reading! This was absolutely hilarious! The book contains 41 short stories about childhood, motherhood and life in general in the South. I loved the writing style which was very down to earth.My favorite was Directionally Challenged. I can totally relate! I have no idea which way to held a map and can’t for the life of me to tell which way if North and which South.I truly recommend this if you want to read something light and funny. Quaranteed to give you good laugh!
    • 4/5
      MISS HILDRETH WORE BROWN by Olivia deBelle ByrdPublished by Morgan James PublishingISBN 978-1-60037-748-8I originally won this book from My Reader's Block blog and then at the request of the author, was asked to read, review and offer my honest opinion. There was no cost to me and/or no monetary compensation. Synopsis: While Olivia deBelle Byrd was repeating one of her many Southern stories for the umpteenth time, her long-suffering husband looked at her with glazed over eyes and said, “Why don’t you write this stuff down?” Thus was born Miss Hildreth Wore Brown—Anecdotes of a Southern Belle. If the genesis for a book is to shut your wife up, I guess that’s as good as any. On top of that, Olivia’s mother had burdened her with one of those Southern middle names kids love to make fun. To see “deBelle” printed on the front of a book seemed vindication for all the childhood teasing. With storytelling written in the finest Southern tradition from the soap operas of Chandler Street in the quaint town of Gainesville, Georgia, to a country store on the Alabama state line, Olivia deBelle Byrd delves with wit and amusement into the world of the Deep South with all its unique idiosyncrasies and colloquialisms. The characters who dance across the pages range from Great-Aunt Lottie Mae, who is as “old-fashioned and opinionated as the day is long,” to Mrs. Brewton, who calls everyone “dahling” whether they are darling or not, to Isabella with her penchant for mint juleps and drama. Humorous anecdotes from a Christmas coffee, where one can converse with a lady who has Christmas trees with blinking lights dangling from her ears, to Sunday church, where a mink coat is mistaken for possum, will delight Southerners and baffle many a non-Southerner. There is the proverbial Southern beauty pageant, where even a six-month-old can win a tiara, to a funeral faux pas of the iron clad Southern rule—one never wears white after Labor Day and, dear gussy, most certainly not to a funeral. Miss Hildreth Wore Brown—Anecdotes of a Southern Belle is guaranteed to provide an afternoon of laugh-out-loud reading and hilarious enjoyment. My Thoughts and Opinion: A very light hearted, quick, funny, and at times, laugh out loud chapters read. The writing style of the author allows the reader to actually visualize the scene and gives the feeling of the author and reader engaged in a dialogue. Short chapters touching upon topics, in my opinion, everyone can relate to in some way. Her sense of humor and the way she relates events from funerals to family vacations, emergency room visits to Christmas attire is hysterical. A must read and a perfect gift for those "just because occasions"!!!! My Rating: 4Addendum: Olivia deBelle Byrd will be visiting here on April 14th while on tour. So mark your calendars!!! She also has a surprise in store for you!!
    • 3/5
      I've been blogging about books long enough that I get approached by lots of different sources for reviews. I accept self-published and small press books, but I am very picky about them. I had too many experiences when I first started blogging of people sending me their self-published masterpiece and it turning out to be completely unreadable. I've had the opportunity to review other self-published and small press books since and have found many of them to be absolutely worth my time.Ms. Olivia deBelle Byrd sent me a lovely email about her book. Since I am also a Southern belle, although a different kind than Olivia, I said I'd read her book. Even though I live in Berkeley, I miss many things about home including meat and three, and my Uncle Jim's stories and hog jokes. I've never met anyone who grew up in the South who couldn't tell a great story. It's the rhythm of speech, the turn of phrase, and the ability to revel in the sheer silliness of it all that makes Southern stories so fun.Ms. Byrd sent me a copy of her book and we agreed on a review date. My new place doesn't have on-site laundry, but in all other ways is just about perfect. This lack of on-site laundry requires a trip to the laundromat, in my case the Central Laundrette (chosen due to proximity, but also because it made think immediately of My Beautiful Laundrette a great little movie with Daniel Day Lewis at his very beginnings). The Central Laundrette is pretty old-fashioned (no wi-fi or other fancy trappings), but it's clean, they chase out the crazies, and they have two 1940's era washing machines filled with geraniums out front.The good thing about laundromats is that you can do oodles of laundry in about an hour, you get to people watch, and it allows a space for relatively uninterrupted reading. This was the perfect book for that adventure.Miss Hildreth (I feel I can be familiar with her given all I know) is a slim book of anecdotes and funny stories about what it's like to be a Southern belle. Lest you think we're all prissy and stuck-up let me assure you that most of us have a lot more Scarlett O'Hara and Maggie the Cat in us than Melanie Wilkes. Ms. Byrd's book amply demonstrates that with tales of funerals, neighbors, and all the things that make up Southern life. Kind of like a Southern Erma Bombeck, Ms. Byrd will make you laugh out loud. A sweet, funny, enjoyable read. Perfect for the laundromat.

    Book preview

    Miss Hildreth Wore Brown - Olivia deBelle Byrd

    Miss Hildreth Wore Brown

    After many years away, one of my best friends recently moved back home to her small Southern town. One of her first duties was to accompany her mother to a funeral. Now funerals in the South are a serious business. They entail prodigious amounts of food, flowers, and family. My friend’s mother is one of the greatest Southern ladies I have ever encountered. To be around her is to be in a perpetual state of amusement. One of her best friends and bridge partners, Miss Hildreth, had died. In the South, another important part of the funeral process is the viewing. You visit the funeral home, where there is an open casket, to pay your respects. Personally, I think the viewing ritual is unfair to the dead. Think about it. No matter what people say about you, you can’t defend yourself. As my friend and her mother approached the casket, her mother looked down, threw her hands to her face, and exclaimed, Oh dear Lawd! They put Miss Hildreth in brown. Brown is not her color. What were they thinking? Oh, Lawd!

    As my friend tells it, It’s so good to be back home. Is there any place like the South?

    Sassin’

    Igot exactly two spankings growing up. That’s one more than my daughter got and 3,254 less than my son. I was reading an article in Ladies Home Journal that suggested you ask your children how you disciplined them. When I asked my daughter, she replied, We sat down and talked about what I had done wrong, the consequences, and what a fair punishment would be. Well, I will have to admit, at this point, I was patting myself on the back thinking mother-of-the-year award. My son sauntered in and I asked him. He shrugged and answered, You beat the crap out of me. So maybe not mother-of-the-year award. Before anyone calls the Department of Family Services and the child abuse investigators, my son does exaggerate—mightily. In fact, he is the king of hyperbole. I’m not here to argue the pros and cons of spanking, but when I grew up in the Old South the absolute cardinal sin was sassin’—the accounting of my two punishments. You did not under any circumstances talk back to your elders. Insolence in any form or fashion was not to be tolerated. It guaranteed a swift retribution normally in the form of a spanking.

    I was in the grocery store the other day and a child of about three was begging his mother for a candy bar. Now I realize the candy aisle is a great temptation for a three-year-old but, in my way of thinking, you can’t rid the world of all temptation so you may as well deal with it. For the umpteenth time, this young mother had very patiently—as the new generation of mothers is wont to do—told this little fellow he could not have the candy bar. She even tried to tell him why, using all the new techniques of child discipline floating around out there. Finally, he stomped his little foot and screamed, No, I’m not listening to you! and grabbed the candy bar. I thought, O dear gussy, the wrath of God is about to descend on this little tot. I’m thinking murder on Aisle 10 of the Winn Dixie. Right? Wrong! In an exasperated voice the mother said, Oh, all right, you can have it. I’m not lying. She actually said those words. The holy terror stuffed the candy in his mouth and three minutes later was begging for something else. I mean, why not? It worked so well the first time, he may as well go for the whole store.

    Now I am certainly no authority on child discipline. My children erred in many and sundry ways and I often let them get away with things, but sassin’ was not one of them. My generation learned early and thoroughly the no sassin’ rule, and we felt it our birthright to pass it on to future generations. So, may I make a suggestion to all you young mothers out there since I expect you pretty much stick to the Ten Commandments, this being the Bible Belt and all. I exhort you to add Thou Shalt Not Sass to the list. It will save you heartbreak in the future and add years to your life.

    Speaking of discipline, my favorite story comes from a friend who went temporarily insane and bore three children in four years. They were on a trip and it had been an especially trying twenty-four hours. The three cherubs were seated in the back of the car furiously trading insults when my friend finally snapped. She whipped around and pointing at each of them in turn said emphatically, I hate you! I hate you! and I hate you! Granted, this may not be the most positive form of discipline, but it worked. They are now three delightful adults with children of their own and they still talk about that momentous moment.

    Another incident along these lines occurred on a trip with our young son. While we were traveling in the car, his behavior was becoming less and less desirable. Finally my son’s shenanigans had gotten on my husband’s last nerve, so he pulled the car onto the shoulder of the highway. As we had been on the road for some time, my husband had unbuckled his slacks to be more comfortable. He jumped out of the car—I assume to do combat with our son—and his pants fell down! I’m here to tell you, your sense of authority is greatly compromised when you are standing on the side of the road with your pants in a pile around your ankles.

    While I am dishing out advice here, I want to throw in some about gratitude. When my son was ten, I accompanied him to a birthday party for one of his classmates. The birthday boy got a trillion dollar watch from his parents and immediately began whining because it lacked some particular feature. His mother clucked over him saying, It’s okay. We’ll return this one and get you the watch you want. When we got in the car, I told my son if he ever acted that way I would take back every birthday gift he ever got and every one he was ever going to get. I mean even if you don’t like a gift, you can show gratitude for the effort. In the South, in my day, gratitude was beaten into you. Nothing wrong with that I say!

    Thank You Notes

    I’ll admit it. I have an obsession about writing thank you notes. I assume it’s a Southern thing. My children swear I made them write a thank you note to our obstetrician for delivering them, all within twenty-four hours. Such hyperbole! I gave them a week. My all-time favorite thank you note came from a young bride whom we had given a fondue pot. She wrote, Thank you for the nice gift. We have always wanted a pot of our own. In her defense, at least she wrote a thank-you note. Some of the ones I receive these days are scary. I expect to get one written on toilet paper any day now. When it comes to wedding gifts, I say if you’re too busy to write thank you notes, you’re too busy to get married.

    I, for one, think the younger generation depends on computers entirely too much for this sort of thing. The other day my son actually wrote me a handwritten thank you note for a favor I had done for him. I’ll admit I was mightily impressed. But he misspelled a word, and being a mother and a teacher, I felt it my obligation to point it out. To which he replied, Funny, I wonder why spell check didn’t catch that?

    Speaking of spell check, I really am totally dysfunctional when it comes to technology. The first time I tried to type a manuscript on the computer my son walked in while I was measuring the screen with a ruler. He totally fell out. Between gales of laughter he howled, Why didn’t Microsoft think of that? They could have included a ruler in every software package. Seems I was trying to center the title and all you had to do was click one little icon. Who knows these things anyway?

    To illustrate how much stock I put in appropriate correspondence, one of my greatest compliments occurred when a good friend of my parents died. She came from a long line of grande dames. I was out of town and upon my return wrote the family a note of condolence. Her sister personally phoned me to express her thanks for the correspondence and to tell me how beautifully executed it was. I have to admit, happenstances like that just make me love the South!

    I am obsessive about cards too. My husband wishes he had bought stock in Hallmark years ago. He says we could have retired by now.

    After my daughter had been home visiting one weekend, the phone rang late Sunday night and she said, "Mom, I just walked into my apartment and was going through my mail. I left you approximately seven hours ago and my apartment is 1000 miles away. I just opened a card from you telling me how good I looked and how much fun we had this past weekend. Mom, when exactly did you

    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1