Captivated by His Love: A Fling Emotional Scars Dark Italian Mafia Romance

PREFACE

Sitting up in my room watching some Jerry Springer rerun and waiting on my mom to get home, I said as I continued painting my toenails and lounging on the sofa, talking with Sabrina over the phone.

Have you thought about moving in with Trevor any more? Sabrina asked.

Shit, at this point, I doubt we'll even be together, let alone move in with each other. Trevor says he needs to save up for college, and tuition for next semester is doubling because of the new administrative fees, I answered as I blew over my nails, so they could dry faster.

Maybe it’s better this way; with you both focusing on school and living together, it would be too much. When I tried to move out, my parents had a fit. And they’ve always known Alex and his family.

I don’t know, Sabrina. I think he’s cheating on me. And you know how I get. I blew out a breath of air in frustration.

Hold up, Janice. Alex is bugging me.

Hearing Alex’s irritating ass in the background, I decided I needed to hang up and call my boyfriend Trevor. Sabrina, I'll call you back. It seems you have your hands full, Boo.

"Are you sure? I hear it in your voice that your brain is running a mile a minute to confront him, and Alex can wait.

Ouch! Asshole! Sabrina screeched through the phone.

What the hell? Did he hit you? I'll be over in two minutes.

My license expired, but I'll Uber with my Betsy, I replied, jumping up off the sofa and looking around for my handgun and purse.

Girl, sit down somewhere. He just slapped my ass. Alex ain’t crazy.

Listening to Alex laugh in the background, I shook my head as my phone beeped with another call.

Sabrina, I have another call .

Probably Trevor. Just call me back; you know how you two get when you're on the phone together.

Fine, let me call you back in a few minutes. Trevor's probably on the way to pick me up.

I clicked over to the other line, and I heard voices sounding like dogs in heat.

Mmmm. Baby, you feel so good! a woman moaned on the other end.

I took the phone away from my ear to make sure it wasn’t a prank call. The caller ID said Trevor.

Yes… Right there, Trevor.

Trevor! Trevor! I yelled loudly.

I paced the floor back and forth. I found my shoes, purse, and Betsy sitting in my dresser drawer.

He thinks I’m playing. Ruffling through my closet, I grabbed most of Trevor’s prized possessions. His suits, shoes, and jewelry. Trevor! I screamed into the phone.

Suddenly, the phone hung up. I dialed back, and no one picked up. Deciding to call for backup, I headed out of my apartment toward Trevor’s place, dialing Liz.

Hello? Liz answered groggily.

Liz, wake up!

I pulled out of my parking garage with two different color shoes and rollers in my hair.

Janice, what’s wrong? It’s eleven at night, and you know I have an early-morning class.

Girl, I need you to get bail money ready for me. I’m about to beat a bitch and shoot Trevor’s ass for cheating on me, I answered hastily.

Janice, calm down. Now, what do you mean he cheated? You know you jump to conclusions sometimes.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. I started to speak as I noticed a car swerving in the lane, coming at me head on at a rapid pace.

Don’t roll your eyes at me. Go to sleep and talk to him tomorrow. Probably all a misunderstanding.

Watch where you're going, asshole! I honked the horn and gave him the middle finger.

Janice! Janice! Oh, my God! Did you shoot somebody?

What? Not yet. A jerk almost hit me. I turned down Trevor’s street and saw a familiar car. I’m pulling up to Trevor’s building right now, and I see nasty Mary’s car out front. I swear to God, I’m killing him tonight, I answered and parked behind Trevor’s car. See why Snapped is my favorite TV show, I thought to myself.

What makes you think it's Mary’s car? Hundreds of BMWs on campus.

Child bye, her damn nameplates say Nasty Mary’s. I placed the phone down on the seat and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Listen, either you’re riding with me or not. I have a bug to get rid of, and I have the permanent solution for this bitch.

Janice…

Hanging up on Liz, I got out of my car, walked toward his door, and knocked while covering the peephole.

Who is it? Trevor asked from the other side of the door.

Pizza, I responded with a little more bass in my voice.

Did you order a pizza? I told you this was a one-time thing, Trevor snapped in anger.

I pulled the safety back on Betsy and pulled her out of my purse while he argued on the other side of the door.

I know what this is, Trevor; you don’t have to remind me. Just answer the door. They probably delivered to the wrong address, Mary muttered in her voice low.

Hearing the top and bottom lock click, I kicked the door in, and it hit Trevor in the nose.

Hi, honey! Miss me? I sarcastically mocked as I placed the gun into Trevor’s chest. A small part of me didn’t want to stoop to this level, because Trevor wasn’t like this in the beginning. He was the most popular guy on campus, and every girl wanted him. On our first date, he took me to the park for a picnic and read a poem by James Baldwin.

Every day, he had flowers and my favorite snacks after class, so we could study. We had discussions about our future, marriage, kids, and how we wanted to make a difference in the world and our community. He stood around six feet even with a low-cut fade, big brown eyes, with a small mole on the side of his lip. I wanted to have sex, and he wanted to wait, but we didn’t sleep together until three months later. His focus was school and basketball. A few months after we became official, he changed and became the dog that he was today.

Bitch, are you crazy! Mary screeched as she attempted to comfort Trevor. She finally backed away as I pointed the gun at her, narrowing my eyes at the target.

Trevor, Trevor. See what happens when you don’t listen. I shrugged nonchalantly and took the safety off.

Baby, hear me out. We didn’t do anything. She was helping me study, Trevor moaned in pain after I punched him in the face.

Mary scoffed at his attempt to act innocent. Are you serious, Trevor? Mary shrieked.

Listen, Mary, I’m not sure if Trevor told you, but he has a crazy girlfriend, and that’s me. I suggest you leave him alone, and you can walk away with your life.

She walks closer toward me while rubbing her stomach.

That’s going to be hard seeing as how Trevor’s the father of my child and my fiancé.

Excuse me, you got her pregnant after you wanted me to get an abortion? Talking about how we're moving fast, you son of a bitch! I pointed the gun back at Trevor with furrowed brows.

I pulled the trigger right as Liz and Sabrina rushed through the door.

Janice! Oh, my God! Sabrina screamed. I dropped the gun and ran away from the apartment, not looking back at what I’d done.

JANICE

Six Months Later…

He stared in my eyes as we sat across from each other in the local café across from campus. The last few months, Trevor had made small adjustments in our relationship by taking me out more on dates, staying in, watching movies, canceling on his friends, and showering me with gifts. There was no doubt I loved him, but I wasn’t in love with him anymore.

Thinking back on the last few months, I stayed at Sabrina’s apartment for a few nights and then with Liz. I kept most of my drama to myself and away from the girls if I could. Trevor and I went back and forth about me getting an abortion, how we were too young and in school and had our whole lives ahead of us. It still baffled me that he got Mary’s nasty ass pregnant and didn’t hound her. Right before I was coming to terms with going ahead with it, I miscarried. It didn’t help any with the stress from the shooting, cheating, or my grades slipping. Blocking his calls didn’t work because he knew all my friends and family. Eventually, he wore me down with apologies.

Since he made more of an effort, I decided to stick it out and try to make the relationship work. Occasionally, I catch him on the phone with who I thought was another girl, but he made sure to put it on speaker or let me see the name across the screen. I knew this sounded dysfunctional, but he was all I'd known for the past few years. That night after I shot him, Mary called the police, and I ran away to Sabrina’s place. Trevor lied and said he was robbed and didn’t know who it was that shot him. Mary didn’t want to play along, but Trevor convinced her that he was in the wrong for cheating.

Many nights, I debated if it was worth continuing this back-and-forth toxic rollercoaster of a ride. Trevor made me happy at one time; no matter what the situation was or how down I was feeling about school, graduating, and getting a job, he was the one rooting for me to keep going. We both made mistakes because I ended up dating other people behind his back after the shooting. Many nights, I found myself back with Trevor because he was familiar and comfortable. My parents told me to leave him alone and find someone worthy. They didn’t know about the shooting or the miscarriage, only that we broke up because of his cheating. If they ever found out, I would probably have to move back home and forget my dream of working at Washington Finance as an executive investor.

Babe, what are you having to eat? Trevor asked as he glanced at me as the waitress placed the two glasses of water down on the table.

Not hungry, but how about we go back to my place and do some studying before finals? I suggested and winked as I took a sip of water.