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John Dies at the End
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John Dies at the End
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John Dies at the End
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John Dies at the End

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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About this ebook

Weird and terrifying and that's the good guys ... SHAWN OF THE DEAD meets GHOSTBUSTERS filtered through a very twisted mind
tHE LOCAtION: Undisclosed tHE tHREAt: UnconFirmed (but scary as hell) OUR ONLY HOPE: two high school dropouts who really have better things to do with their time than prevent the apocalypse Its street name is Soy Sauce - a drug that lets its users drift across time and dimensions. But sometimes, those who come back bring something with them. Suddenly, a silent otherworldly invasion is underway, and mankind needs a hero. What it gets instead is John and David, a pair of dropouts who can barely hold down jobs. Can these two stop the oncoming horror in time to save humanity? No. No, they can't ... "Wong is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King ... 'page-turner' is an understatement." 
Don Coscarelli, Director, PHANtASM I-IV, BUBBA HO-tEP "compelling-against-all-odds ... laugh-out-loud 
funny" KIRKUS REVIEWS "the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into 
readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next." PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
LanguageEnglish
Release dateMay 1, 2012
ISBN9781743097809
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John Dies at the End
Author

David Wong

DAVID WONG is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, New York Times bestselling author of the John Dies at the End series as well as the award-winning Zoey Ashe novels. He previously published under the pseudonym David Wong. His essays at Cracked.com and other outlets have been enjoyed by tens of millions of readers around the world.

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Reviews for John Dies at the End

Rating: 3.7642858300000004 out of 5 stars
4/5

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I'm really not sure what I just read (listened to - I "read" the audio book version). John Dies at the End is an adrenaline-fueled adventure that takes many twists and turns into so many places that it is hard to really put my finger on it. (Edit - I have not watched the movie.)The story is narrated by the writer (David Wong - and he tells you up front that's not his real name) and involves Dave and his best friend John (also not his real name) as they deal with unexplained monsters and creatures that are invading our world. Dave and John are able to see these creatures and deal with them because they have taken "Soy Sauce", an unknown substance (that is apparently alive) and gives them a hyper intelligence and several abilities. Much of the story is recounted by Dave to a reporter to get him to try and believe all of the strange things that has happened to Dave as he's dealt with the weirdness invading his life. And man, is it weird.Dave is a likable person, and you can feel for him as he struggles to first figure out what the heck is going on. And once he does you want him to succeed against what is obviously something evil and vile (I'll spare you the quite literally gory details). Dave is a reluctant hero who seems to be sucked in by the events around him and at times you really wonder if what he describes is real, or all just something he's made up. (Heck, that's what the reporter thinks.) The story moves along rapidly, with curse- and scatological-filled descriptions being the preferred style of narration. The humor is dark, the action bloody, and there are a lot of references to genitalia. (This is not a book for kids.) It was hard for me to understand exactly where the story was going - and maybe that was the intention - because as soon as I thought I had figured it out, Wong would throw in a curve and I'd be scratching my head for a while. By the end of the story it seemed to me that nothing really had been resolved, that a sort of cold war existed between David, John, and the forces of evil. Maybe I missed the point, but the lack of a clear resolution (yeah, I know that there are some resolutions made, but honestly, the way the story ended I was sort of M'eh) is what takes this down a notch for me. If you like reading a story where you feel you are on a drug-induced trip, filled with monsters, action, and a chance to save the world, then you may enjoy John Dies at the End more than I did. I liked it, but I didn't love it.Note: The audio version I listened to was well done. The narration by Stephen Thorne did a good job of capturing the slacker attitude and juvenile mentality of Dave. There were no production problems with the narration; I just wished he had better material to work with.)
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    There were a lot of laugh out loud moments, a lot if paragraphs I read out loud to others because they were so outrageous.

    David Wong's writing reminds me of Clive Barker with a twist toward comedy.

    There were some slow parts in the last third of the book, where I felt like Wong was running out of ideas. But overall, this was a fun, quick read. I'll read the sequel.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    As my updates mention, I just couldn't make myself plow through this book. The endless cycle of slacker jokes, tedious fight scenes, and gore descriptions (that think they're more shocking than they actually are) just didn't do it for me. A lot of people rave about this book but neither the plot or characters drew me in.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Let's say you weren't really a writer. You were smart (perhaps smarter than average), had a good sense of the written word (maybe you read a lot as a kid), had a great sense of humor (let's say, just hypothetically, that you would go on to be a senior editor at one of the internet's funniest, and most popular, comic websites later in life), and had an obvious desire to put those qualities (a) to good use and (b) down on paper. Virtual paper, anyway. What would you do?You'd start writing a story with, let's face it, no real idea of where it was going and post it to your blog. You'd find some people reading it, encouraging you along, so you'd write some more. It would turn into a serial-format story, new installments coming as you could find time to write them. Humorous, because you are, and twisted, presumably because you are that as well. Horror-comedy. Not a genre for the faint of heart. And I'm talking about the creators as well as the readers. Name me the last horror-comedy anything to do well in any medium. (Guess that depends on what you call "well.")Anyway, moving on... You'd write this thing, attract a hundred thousand fans online (plus or minus), get approached by a publisher, pull your story off the net, and some time later, out pops a book called "John Dies in the End" from the corporate machine. Whallah. Now you're a real writer.That's sort of what David Wong (not his real name) did. I was intrigued by the story of how he wrote this book first and foremost. And I'm one of those admitted fans of horror-comedy. (The more irreverent the humor, the more I like it.) I started reading this book with high hopes. I started off with every indication that it would be brilliant, and I don't just mean "brilliant" in the British sense that means "great" but in the actual Webster's dictionary sense that means f**king genius. And, sure, parts of it were. But one thing that really stood out was that not all of these brilliant parts fit together very well. There were lots of hanging ideas that never went anywhere, false starts, new beginnings. Exactly like a book written by someone who didn't know where it was going to end up.Could Wong have gone back, edited the sh!t out of it, torn out huge chunks, re-written others, and pieced it back together as something truly brilliant. Yes. I believe he absolutely could have done that. Why didn't he? I don't know. Was he a lazy b@stard? (It's getting harder and harder to censor my own vulgarities.) Maybe. Was he done with it and just wanted to move on? Maybe. Were there already a hundred thousand fans online (plus or minus) who had already read it and would have been outraged at such butchery? Maybe I'm getting warmer. Doesn't matter. It's a fun read anyway. I hear he's working on a sequel. Can't wait to read it and find out what a real writer comes up with given the time to craft a true beginning, middle and end to a story before it gets into the hands of the masses.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    If you like detailed paranormal adventure/action/buddy tales where they use their dog as a living projectile poop gun, then dude, you will LURVE this book.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    John Dies At The End is terrific. What I loved most about this book was its unpredictability, so I'm not going to risk ruining that for you by saying much else except this warning: If you dislike puerile humour, quivering dread and being suddenly and savagely lurched from one to the other, leave John Dies At The End on the shelf. But everyone else who picks it up is in for a wild read - one that made me grin and shudder, often /at the same time/.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This book started like a 5 star read. It reminded me mostly of Dirk Gently's type of humor but just with a little more of a horror elements. But as the story progressed, it was less funny and more and more full of blood, gore and monsters that will explode and splatter everything with mucus. I do not like horror novels when they try to gross me out, I like more psychological type like Stephen King does. I barely managed to finish this book and I doubt it I will read the next.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    A peculiar and strange book. Hardly my usual cup of tea, full of violence, gore, and puerile humor, but the story boasts an unusual streak of energy that really buoys it along through all the madness. Admittedly, the whole experiment is getting a bit long in the tooth by the final third - like most first novels, the best ideas are all explored within the first "act." Yet the mere fact that it remains readable, indeed engaging and even addictive, all the way up to the bitter end is a testament to the writer. It's not great literature, but "John Dies at the End" is so much better than it has any right to be - and you have to give it points for the sheer chutzpah of the endeavor.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I was right at the end of the book (when the crazy happened in Vegas),it started getting jumbled and confusing enough for me to stop reading it. Interesting and easy reading but I have to many books to read to finish this one.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Totally odd and wonderful. Not sure writer didn't write it while on a fabulous drug trip, but quite frankly don't care. Totally unique. This is one you have to be paying attention to as it jumps around like crazy. Look forward to reading more. Fabulous dark humoour made me snort out loud on many occasions. FYI nasty gross at times
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Generally I try stick with the Goodreads whole stars, but in this case, I'll classify it as 1.5. Primarily because I reserve 1 star ratings for books I seriously hated.

    I didn't hate this book. But I didn't enjoy it and I wouldn't say it's "okay". I read it. I finished it. I still am not quite sure what the hell happened in any of the book. Just not for me. It never clicked with me. I never cared about the characters. The main reasons I did finish it were because I figured out how to work it into a challenge, I dislike not finishing books, and I am currently stuck at home in Boston during a blizzard. Blizzard means lots of reading time.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I was torn between 3 or 4 stars, so rounded up since I enjoyed it in spite of it having a lot of fairly graphic violence, profanity, and twenty-something angst; placing it outside of my usual "comfort zone." The clever writing drew me in and kept me entertained until the end, though it could have been edited down about 20% into a tighter story, and then gotten a solid 4-star rating from me.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The best parts of this book are the Prologue and Epilogue, the actual book part meanders and seems very repetitive. I like the character of John though and at times found myself laughing out loud at his reactions to the weirdness going on all around him.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    There is really nothing to add to all of the excellent reviews for this novel except read it! It will grab you by the hair and drag you kicking and screaming and laughing all the way to the end.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This book started out life as intermittent postings on a blog while the author worked two jobs. Good word of mouth meant the story kept expanding and the audience for it grew until such time as an independent publisher offered to pick it up and put it out there for an even wider world. The momentum of the story continued and it's now also been adapted into a movie that I'll have to check out at some point. The author is currently executive editor for cracked.com, which provides a pointer to the nature of this book. Usually, as far as I'm concerned, comedy and horror don't mix all that well tending to smother each other and resulting in the finished product being too light on both. This is a rare example of the mash-up working well. Genuine creepiness merged with the utterly bizarre and laced with humour around a good story told by a not entirely trustworthy narrator. It won't work for everyone but it did for me and I'll definitely be grabbing the sequel at some point.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I liked the ending, but I found this book a little hard to get, especially since I kept wondering if the narrator was just experiencing a bad hallucination from drugs and had gotten a weird tattoo on his foot. In fact, I'm still wondering. I enjoyed another book from this author (Futuristic Violence and Fancy Pants) much better and I'd be willing to read him again, but please don't quiz me on the particulars of this book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I can't say this book kept me up at night...but I've already recommended it to a number of people.Your humor is dry.You tolerance for weird sh*t is high.You read a lot and have seen it all, or at least have thoroughly covered the horror genre and good bits of the mystery and thriller genres.If so, this is a good book to curl up with on a bad night, when you need some comfort, to be able to believe that there is a friendship out there so screwed up that it can survive Cthulu and all his overreproductive little insect babies. Maybe not everybody's cup of tea, but just what you needed: brutal, twisted monstrosities perverting everything you hold dear. I found it quite comforting.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    My take: 3.5 stars
    This is the weirdest, craziest, oddest book I have ever read. And that's saying a lot. It is weird, yes, but oh so entertaining.

    Warning: Do not read this if you are at all offended by the "F" word, kittens being kicked and dogs being blown up, penis envy and adoration, or gratuitous blood and gore.

    However, if you can breeze past these things, you are in for one wild ride.

    John and David are modern day heroes. They are borderline slacker-college-drop-out-losers, but step up to the plate when they see that their way of life, heck-probably the very planet, is in danger. Armed with a drug called "soy sauce" and very little fear, they jump with both feet into saving the world.

    At 658 pages as an iBook, but was about 200 pages too long for me, but to persist is to benefit from a crazy, made-up ending and a taste for the sequel. This has been made into a movie, set to release in January 2013. I don't know how they made this into a movie, but I thought that about "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", too. Like that one, I will probably skip it on the big screen in favor of the images in my head. The book is always better.

    Recommended.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Apparently this book was written in installments as a web serial. Well what worked for Dickens (in a manner of speaking) doesn't work quite so well here - this book probably is best appreciated in a small doses over an extended period of time. It starts of well enough, the combination of slapstick and deadpan humour interspersed with vividly imaginative horror promises a rollicking read. But after several chapters the plot takes a back seat and the reader is bombarded with surreal scene after surreal scene which you need an enormous amount of patience to plow through without a coherent plot to hang these episodes on. Even the humour seems to deteriorate into simple vulgarity.It picks up again towards the end, with the final few chapters attempting to pull together the myriad tripped out scenes and show that there was a point to it all after all. Maybe Wong knew what he was doing all along, but I'm not entirely convinced. Here's a demonstration of the kind of effort it takes to read this book: "The finished creature seemed to be assembled from spare parts. It had a tail like a scorpion curling up off its back. It walked on seven - yes seven - legs, each ending in one of those small pink infantile hands. It had a head that was sort of an inverted heart shape, a bank of mismatched eyes in an arc over a hooked, black beak like a parrot's. On its head, no kidding, it had a tuft of neatly groomed blond hair that I swear on my mother's grave was a wig, held on with a rubber band chinstrap." [p.109]To tell the truth I had had enough about two thirds of the way through, and went off and read two other books before coming back to finish it off. The main reason for wanting to finish it was to see whether John does in fact die at the end. In that sense at least, the title is ingenious.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    If you've always dreamed of Bill & Ted reuniting to make a horror film, if you like the elaborate magical systems dreamed up by Tim Powers but think they're too well-planned and logical, if you think the head growing legs and crawling away gag in John Carpenter's remake of The Thing is the best SFX ever, if you love the combination of buddy comedy and demon hunting in Reaper... I believe I have found your new favorite book.

    John Dies at the End is long on imaginative gore and slapstick horror, but short on sense. Part of this is, I suspect, by design; our protagonist Dave Wong (wink) and his friend John are shrewd but poorly educated working class stiffs who stumble upon a drug that allows -- indeed forces -- the user to see into other dimensions, most of which are way scarier than ours, menacing and gross and hostile to humanity, and thereby uncover a multidimensional conspiracy to take over and effectively destroy our world. Their grasp on what is going on is usually, therefore, on the slack side, and so, therefore, is our hero's narration -- long on pop culture references and descriptions of things as "stupid" or "retarded", short on sense.

    But what John Dies at the End lacks in sense, it makes up for in sheer inventiveness and flair. Wong was at great pains to invent all new monsters, though he was obviously inspired by Stephen King's lobstrosities (but his monsters rarely ask nonsensical questions while they attack). I was particularly amused/sickened by, for instance, the "wigmonsters" that trash a famous paranormal hunter's floor show in a Las Vegas casino. They're quite Carpenteresque, multiform and multi-limbed and multi-eyed, and are, in fact, wearing jaunty little wigs complete with rubber chinstraps. And they are equipped with scorpion-like stingers that pump their victims full of the Drug of Dimensional Seeing.

    There are body-snatchings, "alien" abductions, gunfights, sword fights (sort of), bombs and beer bongs. There is an abandoned shopping mall infested fire-breathing coyotes and deer with pincers at the end of their antlers. Exploding dogs and explosions of dog feces. Road trips. And then there's the Bill and Ted element: several times our heroes' bacon is saved by timely delivery of objects or information that could only be achieved via time travel. And John's spirit, or something, seems to be unstuck in time (as is their dog, Molly) and able to make cell phone calls to Dave even while Dave is sitting with the supposed real John. This is never explained but it's amusing enough to let it slide.

    Anyway, I liked it well enough to take the trouble to get my hands on the sequel, This Book is Full of Spiders, which I'll be reading in due course. But first, I have promises to keep.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The title of the book is better than what's inside, this book needed major editing to cut out tons of meandering crappy scenes.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Like the lovechild of Franz Kafka and William Burroughs, this book could be described as "pure mental" (as we say here in Glasgow).John and David (not their real names) are a pair of slacker dudes who work in a video shop. John discovers the soy sauce first, a drug that heightens the senses to the point where another world becomes apparent. A monster-infested world where their lives are the same but different.The book takes the form of David recounting events to Arnie, a journalist with an interest in the strange. Weird things happen to everyone. It comes together just enough at the end to explain a bit, and had me quite keen to read the next instalment.The humour is punchy, there are girls, buddy moments, and a red coloured labrador called Molly. Yes, it's bizarre, but go with it. I liked it.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I didn't think this book was necessarily a page turner, but I still thought it was good. The story was a little disjointed, but that could be expected as it was originally published in installments online. It is a bit of a spoof of the horror genre, but I actually found myself a little creeped out more than once while reading it. Shadow people are always creepy, even in a satire. I hope that the rumored movie happens. The story might be more suited to the big screen.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Whoa. I really don't know what to make of this one, except to say it's the kind of absurdist fiction fans of Christopher Moore would really like. It manages to keep up the coaster-ride pace for almost four hundred pages, and manages to be both genuinely scary and side-splittingly funny at the same time. I think most people who read this would love it, or hate it.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    1.5 stars

    So happy to be done I haven't been so happy to finish a book in a long time. The concept is really interesting and I wanted to care but the constant penis jokes/taunts/fascination, use of the word "retarded" as a descriptor for people or situations, and, well, the author's voice and style all combined to make this a painful read. I wouldn't have finished it at all if I didn't need a book starting with "J" for an A-Z title challenge.

    I'm sure I would have enjoyed it much more if I were a teen-aged boy.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    It was a book, undeniably exciting and unexpected.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I can't decide if this was a 3 or 4 star so I guess I would rate it right in the middle. In the first stage of reading this it creeped me the fuck out. Then I laughed and laughed because I am immature and I like 12 year old boys' sense of humors. Then I figured this dude is some sort of evil genius because everything sort of applied to something real in the world and I had a very scary moment when I pictured something like this actually happening. Then I laughed some more.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    Honestly I tried, but the wacky internet-style humour and gonzo writing style combined with what felt like a glacial writing pace did me in. David Wong's imagination is as good as anything Stephen King pumped out in his prime, but he needs an editor like I need a haircut (badly).
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    John and David take this crazy drug called soy sauce (well, John takes it voluntarily, David is more like attacked by it) which causes them to see things like demons and monsters and shadow men. After several seemingly unconnected monster-hunting incidents, John and David realize that something much larger and more sinister is going on. They're not particularly selfless or heroic, but they know they're the only people (still alive) that even realize what is going on, and thus it's up to them to do their best. This book is . . . . hard to describe. It's weird, and gory, and crazy. It's a little bit like a Christopher Moore book, but much darker and gorier and crazier. There's a really nice Midwestern feel to it, too (also hard to describe). I definitely wouldn't recommend it to anyone who is sensitive to gore (there's a very realistic severed hand on the cover) or video-game-style violence, nor to anyone who doesn't like weird, weird books.Overall I really liked it. It was longer and deeper than I expected. But it was very weird, and the jury is still out on whether I will pick up the sequel.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is a crazy book to review. It had some genuinely funny moments. It was an interesting story and had moments of brilliance. This doesn't change the fact that the end of this book was a hot mess. In a book which stretches your ability to let ridiculous slide the end made me slap my forehead and beg for it to end.