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    10 Reasons Not to Date a Witch: Magic and Mayhem Universe: The Cursed Quartet, #1
    10 Reasons Not to Date a Witch: Magic and Mayhem Universe: The Cursed Quartet, #1
    10 Reasons Not to Date a Witch: Magic and Mayhem Universe: The Cursed Quartet, #1
    Ebook111 pages1 hour

    10 Reasons Not to Date a Witch: Magic and Mayhem Universe: The Cursed Quartet, #1

    By Virginia Nelson

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    About this ebook

    She's got ten reasons why...

    Aubrey Collywobble has been around the block a time or twelve in her days as a witch life coach. She's evoked actual transformations in other witches—one even turned into a flower. But while helping others, she's learned a few things about herself. She doesn't date, and she has a list of reasons why.

    True love is for wimps. Hold out for pizza.

    Carter Wilson is sincerely interested in his neighbor Aubrey. When she grudgingly agrees to be his fake girlfriend, he sees what it would be like if she agreed to actually date him. The longer they're together, the more he wants their pretend fling to become a THING—long term, meaningful, and happily ever after included.

    Let the smite war begin…

    Toss in distractions like family legacies, a curse, a raccoon familiar, and an exceptionally precocious little girl, and we've got a recipe for chaos. Spells fly as the battle of the sexes begins, but what if they could both win the war?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherVirginia Nelson
    Release dateOct 22, 2018
    ISBN9781386575313
    10 Reasons Not to Date a Witch: Magic and Mayhem Universe: The Cursed Quartet, #1
    Author

    Virginia Nelson

    Virginia Nelson likes knights in rusted and dinged up armor, heroes that snarl instead of croon, and heroines who can't remember to say the right thing even with an author writing their dialogue. Her books are full of snark, sex, and random acts of ineptitude--not always in that order.

    Read more from Virginia Nelson

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      Book preview

      10 Reasons Not to Date a Witch - Virginia Nelson

      Foreward

      Blast Off with us into the Magic and Mayhem Universe!

      I’m Robyn Peterman, the creator of the Magic and Mayhem Series and I’d like to invite you to my Magic and Mayhem Universe.

      What is the Magic and Mayhem Universe, you may ask?

      Well, let me explain...

      It’s basically authorized fan fiction written by some amazing authors that I stalked and blackmailed! KIDDING! I was lucky and blessed to have some brilliant authors say yes! They have written brand new stories using my world and some of my characters. And let me tell you...the results are hilarious!

      So here it is! Blast off with us into the hilarious Magic and Mayhem Universe. Side splitting books by fantabulous authors! Check out each and every one. You will laugh your way to a magical HEA!

      For all the stories, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/. Grab your copy today!

      Dedication

      For Daisy

      Acknowledgements

      Thanks so very much to Robyn Peterman. I had so much fun writing this and can’t begin to thank you enough for your friendship. You’re amazing!!!

      She’s got ten reasons why...

      AUBREY COLLYWOBBLE has been around the block a time or twelve in her days as a witch life coach. She’s evoked actual transformations in other witches—one even turned into a flower. But while helping others, she’s learned a few things about herself. She doesn’t date, and she has a list of reasons why.

      True love is for wimps. Hold out for pizza.

      Carter Wilson is sincerely interested in his neighbor Aubrey. When she grudgingly agrees to be his fake girlfriend, he sees what it would be like if she agreed to actually date him. The longer they’re together, the more he wants their pretend fling to become a THING—long term, meaningful, and happily ever after included.

      Let the smite war begin...

      Toss in distractions like family legacies, a curse, a raccoon familiar, and an exceptionally precocious little girl, and we’ve got a recipe for chaos. Spells fly as the battle of the sexes begins, but what if they could both win the war?

      10 Reasons

      If you make her mad , she can smite you before you can say a word.

      With most girlfriends, you can say sorry and offer flowers. You can listen, give her a hug. Maybe toss in some chocolates. There are no second chances with a witch.

      They need to be alone sometimes.

      When they’re spelling up a storm or out with the girls, they’re not going to want to be disturbed. Don’t come between a witch and her sisters. Just don’t, trust me.

      You’ll never be their everything.

      You might be important to them, but they’ve got a lot going on. And don’t even think you’ll ever be more important than her familiar...

      They keep strange friends.

      Familiars. Other witches. The occasional shifter. Seriously, this crowd is sketchy.

      The sacrifices aren’t always worth it.

      Dating anyone isn’t always worth it, because sometimes the bad stuff just outweighs the good. With a witch, this happens more than it doesn’t.

      Fear of commitment is a thing.

      If humans, who have much shorter lifespans in comparison, fear committing the rest of their lives to someone, how do you think a witch feels?

      They’re often broke.

      Wands ain’t cheap, yo.

      They work weird hours.

      Skyclad at midnight, anyone?

      Procrastination is common among witches.

      If you could spell things with the snap of your fingers, the wave of your wand, or even the twitch of your nose... would you worry about getting things done on time?

      They’re a pain in the ass.

      Maybe not all witches, but a lot of them. Me for sure. Emotional rollercoaster? Check. Shy one moment and outgoing the next? Check. Secretive? Check. Not a fan of criticism about my behaviors? Check. Set in my ways... you betcha, buddy.

      Chapter One

      Reason #1 - If you make her mad, she can smite you before you can say a word.

      With most girlfriends, you can say sorry and offer flowers. You can listen, give her a hug. Maybe toss in some chocolates. There are no second chances with a witch.

      Aubrey

      At the end of the day, not being covered in pollen is a very good thing. For one, it is a bitch to get that shit out of your hair. For two, I’m allergic.

      But when Daisy Doomshwittle, of the well-known magical Doomshwittle witch family, asked for my help, I got more than I planned for on a lot of levels. For instance, I never guessed her first name would turn out to be the key to her finding her best self and getting on the path to her happily ever after.

      Live and learn, I guess. She transformed—literally into a flower—and met a guy. Well, a male flower? I don’t really get it, but I accepted the invitation to their wedding, as any good life coach might do in such a case. After all, this was the culmination of my success in helping her to become the witch—or future corsage?—of her dreams. I’ve never attended a flower wedding before, so I didn’t know that pollination was a thing at those events.

      Sneezing, I rubbed my running nose on my sleeve in aggravation. This kind of experience was why I tried very hard to deter my clients from thinking love solved their problems. Sure, Daisy Doomshwittle thought she was happy now, and she considered her time with me to have been a raving success, but what happened when the first winds of winter blew? Okay, whatever, maybe Daisy’s family would plant her and her new love in a greenhouse cast with perpetual spring, so the happy couple—bouquet?—could bloom together forever. For most of us, though, the world isn’t quite so rosy. Pun intended.

      I sniffled again, the thought of roses not helping my allergies any. What I really needed was a good shower, a heavy dose of antihistamines, and a long nap. What I didn’t need was Carter Wilson.

      He stood on my doorstep, leaning against the frame in a casual way that insinuated sinning was afoot. His devilish grin didn’t alleviate the thought of dangerous fun any, twitching at the corners and seeming specially designed for me to enjoy. Carter is human, and a neighbor, and is built for nasty fun in the dark of night. Or the light of day—I’m an equal opportunity witch, when it comes to things like that.

      The only reason I’ve hesitated to have my way with him—as I’m pretty sure he’d be partial to the idea, based on the way he looked at me and his continued attentions after many gentle rebuffs—is that he’s also got commitment in those soulful, deep blue eyes of his.

      And I’m not a witch to fall for messily ever after.

      What’s up? I ask him casually, trying to match his demeanor with my tone. The flaw in this whole premise being that my nose is running like a faucet, and I’m pretty sure my eyes have almost swelled closed. I can imagine what he sees when he looks at me—puffy eyes, bright red nose shining at levels that reindeer would envy...overall, I’m probably the poster child for allergy medication.

      It isn’t pretty, but maybe that’s for the best. It’d be easy to ignore my attraction to him if he didn’t act interested in return, after all.

      Rough day? he replied.

      I couldn’t help it. I snorted, shaking my head. You could say that.

      What do you have going on tomorrow? The question was a casual one,

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