Birthday Wish

"There should be a reason all my experiences. The smallest step seems to me it wasn't for no reason. As a small part of a big whole , I wanted to share my experiences magic for me. this book for, in a way that I don't know why, which is a big part of my life for many years,  my hero . Most of the time  She's not aware of how a young girl's life is very affected. She won't admit it, but that is the reality. She's a dream symbol,of the power is in me. Yeah, actually, she didn't do anything to save me.  She didn't protect me from Anybody. She Saw me even just one day. But she has affected my whole life, just to be there. First Xena, then the real Lucy for me as an example. Thank you for the nice touches without being made aware of my life.

To My Angel, Lucy Lawless..."

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A special thanks to...

My husband Ajdan Uygun who is always by my side and my beloved kids, Rüzgar Tan Uygun and Nehir Ceren Uygun. Also a special thanks to my dear brother Muzaffer Makas and my best friend İpek Akoz for giving me the ideas for this story and for reading my story when it was finished. I also want to say thank you to my dear friend Axzana Damian for helping me translating my story into English and for telling me that I shouldn't give up on my dreams. And I also want to say thank you to my dear friend and great writer, Mary Dee Brooks for supporting me and my story. Then I would just say a special thank you too Dr. Sibel Barut Keskin. And Endless thanks to my precious parents .

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BIRTHDAY WISH

It was a beautiful autumn day in New Zealand. Windless, warm, the day was wonderful. The famous actress, was on the porch of her villa. The colors of autumn among the trees creating a wonderful image. While sipping her morning coffee, she looked up at the sun and her eyes turned to the clearest blue. It seemed that the sun was winking at her through the trees. This beautiful autumn weather made her always happy. She was looking on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook for messages from her fans. There were thousands of messages. It was impossible to read all of them. However, everybody was hoping that she would read and would answer to all of them. Everyone thinks that she sees every message. For more than twenty years she is a actress, and still very famous. She is constantly up to date in her projects. She is humble and it is easy to work with her.  She doesn't make a difference between herself and a sound guy, on the contrary her warm approach to people is extraordinary and kind. Due the extraordinary performance, she always gets strong female roles. Mostly gritty and mysterious characters. The fans constantly express their love for her.

For us (the fans), you're Xena forever.

You're the hero of my childhood.

Twenty years ago, you were beautiful. Twenty years later you're still beautiful.

Your eyes are killing me.

how can a human be so beautiful and talented like you?

Why did you stopped singing. You have a very beautiful voice. Please sing for us again

Thank you for being so sensitive to children and the world.

This hairstyle doesn't suit you.

These are very difficult scenes did you use a stunt double?

Come on Xena, kick Donald Trump’s ass!

I wish you were my mother. Can you please adopt me?

You're still beautiful, will you marry me?

I hope that on one day I can meet you.

You are a legend. You still look very charismatic and strong.

How tall are you? Are you really tall?

God bless you and your family you are the perfect person.

"Do you think that one on day you will come to Brazil?

Do you want to go to Germany?

I Think you should come to England!

"please don't forget your Italian fans.

There are more fans in America. I think the panel should be in America here.

You are a true Warrior Princess, you don't give up on global warming and climate change !

Your work for the children's hospital is amazing. You are a very sensitive person.

Xena should be filmed again., you must be Xena again. Someone else in the role of Xena would be awful.

Mrs. Lawless you're a beautiful person inside and outside

Today is my birthday can you send me a birthday message?

And more of thousands of praise, criticism, and passionate words of love. Sometimes even attacks, slanders. Her fans would say a thousand things to her. She would get drawings, poems, stories, books, statues, and gifts. Most people never even heard of the most beautiful words she had heard. She met her fans with the most beautiful gestures. Yes, she was proud of them. But she was too tired to carry that responsibility. Most of the time the idea of running away would pass her mind. It was really hard not to disappoint her fans. She is a hero, a idol for her fans. she would do anything and everything for her fans. But sometimes, she wanted to drool like a little kid, do stupid things, have fun, she wanted to live an ordinary life. But that was not always possible to do. For many years now, she would be herself. The truth is, she is many times betrayed in her life and she has many hardships endured. She had to pay for everything. That is, when she choose this lifestyle, she is ready for it. The lady who helped her in the house, brought her a low calories and a nutritious breakfast. For many years, she paid attention to what she ate. If she ate a little more that what she normally would eat, she immediately thought she would gain weight and she would stop eating. In the years of adolescence she had weight problems, she was known with the disease anorexia bulimia. Fortunately she managed to beat it. It wasn't easy to be a star constantly followed by fans. With putting the breakfast on the table she was distracted .

Where are the kids? she asked, looking over her glasses.

The lady replied.

Yesterday, I think your eldest son said to you he would go camping with his friends. Your little son is in his room and he is reading a book.

Requiring attention the cat stroke against her legs, so the woman picked up the cat.

Ah yes, how could I forget, she said. My head is so full... The cleaning lady took her empty coffee cup.  Lucy's phone rang. The person on the other side of the phone was her assistant.

Lucy, I hope you didn't forget that you have a interview today about your new movie. Lucy's tea got caught in her throat. She coughs:

You can't be serious, Lucy said. I promised my mom I would go shopping with her this afternoon.

I also promised the fans I would do a live chat on facebook today.

Lucy grabs her scattered light brown hair and she has a weary expression on her face.

Ahh.. What do I do now? That's what always happens. All appointments come at once.

She stayed silence for a while, and thought about what she would do.

Okay, I'll come up with a nice program. You tell the guys who want to do the interview with me about my new movie  that I'll meet them early in the afternoon. I'll tell my fans that I will do the live chat in about half an hour. The rest of the afternoon I'll use for myself.

I wonder how you manage so much things at the same time, the assistant said. Last thing... Lucy raised her hands.

That's enough for today. I don't want to plan any more appointments.

You also have a meeting with your son's teacher at 4 o'clock.

These are all my appointments this week?

No, these are from just today.

You mean?

Tomorrow you have a appointment about your new greenpeace project and you have a meeting with someone for a Starship hospital...

Lucy ,interrupted her assistant .

Okay, I get it. Please call me tomorrow and remind me on these appointments.

On the same day at the same time, in another country, on the other end of the world, it was middle of the night. A woman was sitting at her desk. The woman was making a drawing. Usually, when she draws she would listen to music with slow rhythms. Music that touched her heart. Especially if she liked the music she would repeat it. She believed that music gave her more inspiration . She had a proud look on her face. She loved her drawing. Her kids were already asleep. She loved the silence. No one asked her anything. No one wanted something from her. She was drinking coffee, she loved coffee. When she was feeling lonely,, the coffee tasted even better.  It had been a tiring day for her. She worked the whole day at her own kindergarten, she was concerned. Her job was a big responsibility. Dozens of people trusted her and her team with their most valuable assets, (their kids). Sometimes it felt really heavy to have this responsibility. But she loved her job. she loves kids and she does her work with great love. She didn't think about her career as commercially.

These material losses have seen as most of the time, but she wasn't being idealistic. Must be a sign. That means raising children was not going to make the world a better place good and responsive. The woman looked at her husband who was asleep on the couch with a controller in his hand. Her husband, thought that, if you would drink coffee you would lose sleep. But according to her, this condition was psychological. She thought that you could drink coffee at any time of the day. If she would drink coffee late in the evening, she wouldn't have any problems to fall asleep. The woman was thinking about what they were going to do tomorrow. They need to pay the Bills. Her kids have appointments they need to go to. She always enjoyed going to theatre rehearsal. She has to visit her mother and mother-in-law. Her head was full of all the things she has to do. But drawing, theater, and her childhood hero would take her away from the stress of her life. She was really going through a tough time. There was a lot of pressure, especially about her business. She still sees her idol as a escape that she will use in the hard times of her life.

The woman has good friends, a large group of fans, they all have one thing in common they are all fans of the same actress. People from various countries. Some of them are doctors or painters. Some of them are writers, or government employees, and some are nurses. The average age of most of her friends is high, they are all good-hearted people. They all have respect for her and they all think that she is a great artist. There is this woman, a actress, her idol. She has so much respect for her. The actress saved her life many years ago in her dreams. She lived in a environment were women are powerless and hopeless, Her idol has been her a source of inspiration in those difficult days, she strives to be like her. According to the woman her idol is strong, invincible. And in time of difficulties, the actress doesn't sit back and cry like a child. Her idol has both feets on the ground. She would find a solution for every problem. The woman had never seen anyone like this around when she was a kid. Everyone whining about the current situation. They don't look for a solution of their problems. Instead they are feeling sorry for themselves. The men in her family are free in every subject. While the women didn't have the right to go to school. If the woman didn't know her idol, she would be such a woman. Twenty years later, and she still has the same respect and admiration for her idol. The woman showed her daughter movies of her idol. She wanted to introduce her daugther to her childhood hero. Her nine year old daughter and her eleven year old son started to life their ahead of herself. And it was working.

She had managed to give her children a life that is completely the opposite of her own life. She married a man who was very different than her own father. He trusted her, and he let her free. Together, they had a life completely away from imagined oppression of her childhood. Maybe the density from her job, she was unable to join in on everything, she can't keep the house clean and tidy,  exelent cooking like her mother. But everyone could wear what they wanted. They were able to bring home their pets. They were able to spend time with their friends and go out.  Not everyone in the country had a life like that. Most of the people in this country were free to do what they want. But not for her. She had a father, he was financially strong, but he was old-fashioned. He thought that girls shouldn't go to school, he even thought that they shouldn't leave the house. The woman decided to check twitter so she could distract herself from these negative thoughts. She got a notification on her cellphone. Her idol was online on twitter and she was tweeting. The woman was excited like a child, when she saw her idol online. The woman send a tweet to her idol. She got a response from her idol within a few seconds. She was so happy that her idol answered her. She has so much admiration for her idol. And her idol has so much sympathetic towards her. Maybe one day she and her idol could be like sisters, or even very good friends. It's a beautiful thought. It was the wish of a little girl who still believes in fairy tales. Forgotten for many years, the heartbroken little girl. After a long day the woman lay on her bed thinking of her life and her idol. Her last thought before she falls asleep is that she is grateful for all the beautiful things that happened.

The woman on the other side of the world sat in a bar and was drinking a martini with her best friend. There was an unbearable pain in her head. She had a great need to unwind a little. She is forced to act friendly all day. Even if she was ignored by other people or if other people treat her rude. Twenty years ago, she played over a period of six years, a legend, a hero, she was Xena Warrior Princess. And now want her fans her back as Xena Warrior Princess. Those extreme fanatical fans even start a campaign to bring her back. Most of her fans didn't know how hard it was to play this role. Or what she had to do and how she lived. All they care about was bringing her back as Xena Warrior Princess.

Her phone stood on vibrate mode. Her phone was rhythmically vibrating on the wooden table. Lucy put her hand on her phone in the hope that it will stop with vibrating. The woman looked at her friend with a smile on her face.

I guess there is Xena Revival campaign going on, her friend said in a sarcastic voice.

The woman closed her eyes with a smile. Slowly she shook her head.

I think killing Xena brutally was really a mistake, I think the fans see this as a betrayal, Lucy said.

But you thought it was an impressive ending.

Yeah, so we thought. But the fans are hurt seeing their hero like this. So they became a huge group of passionate people who campaign to bring their hero back.

What do they want? Her friend asked.

They want me as Xena!

Lucy looked at her friend, with sadness in her eyes and a strange smile on her face.

Is it possible? Said her friend. So, it was a long time ago. I mean, you said of those days was a very difficult time. I don't think you want to do it again.

Just for this? the woman said, with a wry smile.

Then, she squinted, the vibration of the phone. There was a strange silence. Her friend of what she said she was thinking about hurting