Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Just the Odd Falang
    Just the Odd Falang
    Just the Odd Falang
    Ebook94 pages1 hour

    Just the Odd Falang

    By Frank Deville

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    'Have arrived - natives friendly - environment hostile'.

    Siam - Kingdom of Illusions - where modernity sings her fateful siren song and the Sax-man peels off million-dollar riffs over the rock-solid rhythm of a military march in the show that never ends.

    Where the falang Ace faces off against the Siamese tag-team of Reaction and Corruption - masters of ancient Siam's bait & switch con-game with falang* in which they have the home-ground advantage and believe they hold all the cards.

    Just The Odd Falang - a 60-day narrative from the not-so-fast-track of suburban Siam City featuring working stiffs, small-time operators, the weird and wonderful from across the great metropolis, and the Ace, all just trying to get along…

    Not another cliched tale out of downtown Siam City featuring the usual suspects - expats, sex-pats, fat-cat prima donnas, barflies, golden boys, the clueless and the desperate - no kiss-and-tell.

    Here's the deal: a Kafka-esque Made in Siam meditation on the trials and tribulations, the triumphs and titillations, the swings and roundabouts of a life less ordinary as told by the Ace, a modern-day Don Quixote and his faithful steed, a Candide sans Pangloss in this 'best of all possible worlds' – but for who?

    Don't believe the hype: Roll the dice…take a slice…here's the two-month supply of TOM-YUM pizza fresh from 2550 B.E. that you didn't know you wanted…until it arrived.

    * the generic Siamese term for a Western-educated foreigner – usually Caucasian

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherFrank Deville
    Release dateNov 18, 2018
    ISBN9781386357964
    Just the Odd Falang

    Read more from Frank Deville

    Related to Just the Odd Falang

    Related ebooks

    Asia Travel For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Three Triple Sonnets

      Jan 1, 2024

      Rosebud asks me if I can just take the moneyand run when I tell her about the Sugar Daddiesof Instagram™ hitting me up, taking me backto my mid-twenties in Tempe, Arizona whenall the single dads of the neighborhood wouldtry to come into my yard—into

      4 min read

    • Article

      A Puzzle Of Nostalgia

      Aug 26, 2022

      A Puzzle Of Nostalgia
      5 min read

    • Article

      Remembering Andy Pollitt

      Oct 2, 2023

      Remembering Andy Pollitt
      10 min read

    • Article

      What I’m Into

      Jul 2, 2023

      What I’m Into
      1 min read

    • Article

      Life In The past Lane

      Aug 27, 2021

      Life In The past Lane
      5 min read

    • Article

      Feeling Scene

      Jun 14, 2023

      One of UK rap’s bright young things, Sainté is making a name for himself with his characteristic mellow flows and charisma. Born in Zimbabwe but raised in Leicester, his Midlands hometown is always close to his heart Wakaze. The gyozas and katsu curr

      3 min read

    • Article

      Ozzy! Ozzy! Czzy

      Jan 2, 2019

      Ozzy! Ozzy! Czzy
      19 min read

    • Article

      Chris Erskine: Have A California Moment At Neptune's Net, A Landmark Seafood Shack In Malibu

      Aug 13, 2019

      MALIBU, Calif. - Never sneer at Malibu. Without it, can you imagine the number of pale celebrities we'd have to endure? Cher would look like Andy Warhol. We're headed up there today in a convertible, naturally, for how else are you going to properly

      4 min read

    • Article

      FOUR & Concerts A Funeral

      Aug 19, 2019

      FOUR & Concerts A Funeral
      5 min read

    • Article

      Rambling Pam

      Jul 24, 2022

      Rambling Pam
      2 min read

    • Article

      A Lifetime Of Pin-ups

      Jun 30, 2021

      I was there again last night. It looked a bit like old Sydney as I remember it from the fifties, before they pulled it down in the name of progress. But wasn’t it more like the badlands of San Francisco, that once beautiful city that is infested by b

      5 min read

    • Article

      Overland CORNER HOTEL

      Aug 14, 2019

      Overland CORNER HOTEL
      6 min read

    • Article

      Always a Tough Guy at Heart

      Sep 7, 2018

      Always a Tough Guy at Heart
      9 min read

    • Article

      Oklahoma Royale

      Apr 16, 2019

      Oklahoma Royale
      4 min read

    • Article

      On Aging

      Mar 1, 2022

      On Aging
      9 min read

    • Article

      “I Was Insatiable!”

      Sep 19, 2019

      “I Was Insatiable!”
      10 min read

    • Article

      Charles And The Window Kids

      Dec 3, 2018

      Charles And The Window Kids
      4 min read

    • Article

      Crash Helmet Crooner

      Jan 20, 2021

      Crash Helmet Crooner
      3 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Just the Odd Falang

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Just the Odd Falang - Frank Deville

      Prologue

      ‘Have arrived - natives friendly - environment hostile’.

      Siam - Kingdom of Illusions - where modernity sings her fateful siren song and the Sax-man peels off million-dollar riffs over the rock-solid rhythm of a military march in the show that never ends.

      Where the falang Ace faces off against the Siamese tag-team of Reaction and Corruption - masters of ancient Siam’s bait & switch con-game with falang* in which they have the home-ground advantage and believe they hold all the cards.

      Just The Odd Falang - a 60-day narrative from the not-so-fast-track of suburban Siam City featuring working stiffs, small-time operators, the weird and wonderful from across the great metropolis, and the Ace, all just trying to get along...

      Not another cliched tale out of downtown Siam City featuring the usual suspects - expats, sex-pats, fat-cat prima donnas, barflies, golden boys, the clueless and the desperate - no kiss-and-tell.

      Here’s the deal: a Kafka-esque Made in Siam meditation on the trials and tribulations, the triumphs and titillations, the swings and roundabouts of a life less ordinary as told by the Ace, a modern-day Don Quixote and his faithful steed, a Candide sans Pangloss in this ‘best of all possible worlds’ – but for who?

      Don’t believe the hype: Roll the dice...take a slice...here’s the two-month supply of TOM-YUM pizza fresh from 2550 B.E. that you didn’t know you wanted...until it arrived.

      * the generic Siamese term for a Western-educated foreigner – usually Caucasian

      * * *

      And those who were seen dancing

      were thought to be insane

      by those who could not hear the music.

      NIETZSCHE

      Part 1.  City  Life

      Part 2.  Island  Interlude

      Part 3.  Home  Again

      Part 4.  Ace  High 

      Part 5.  Bitter  Sweet

      Part 1.  City  Life

      Late night - downtown - big city beat...

      Come feel the noise! 

      HOMEWARD BOUND ON HIGHWAY ONE in the early hours of Year 2550 and the scene is strictly Siamese - just the odd falang: Call me Ace.

      Backtrack to the Old Other Office, an ancient cowboy bar down in old Patpong. The Ace used to enjoy an occasional drink or two there with his Siamese YING during their rocky affaire through the ‘80s. She knew everyone, and you may too, bye and bye...

      Starting life as a hotel lobby, the Office became the first foreign bar in the streets between Silom and Surawong - before Rick’s Grand Prix go-go bar, before all the young Americans, before all the old Americans - which later became the rollicking Patpong nightlife area. These days, the old bar is all sepia tones, apart from the smallish blue-covered pool table squarely in the centre of the room, around which most of the action occurs -  as you’ll see later.

      As long as I can remember, the main fixtures of the Office have been Joom and Pun. The husband and wife team who own it and run it – a symbiotic relationship which keeps all three going, along with all the dusty pics of old regulars (long-gone mostly) old number plates from around the world, assorted odd knick-knacks and wooden carvings and whatever pet dog or cat replaced the last one that wore out. Together with the Madrid bar in the Soi 1 Night Bazaar, the Office maintains the living history of Patpong, so if you ever find yourself down that way, do yourself a favor and slide on by the tall YING-BOY katoeys and street hustlers, past all the bar-flies and come-ons, and do like good old Dr. Hook tells ya, Walk right in – sit right down – Daddy let your mind roll on...  (Gus Cannon, 1929)

      Midnight eve rolls around - grey shadows, warm vibes, a few YINGS (aka women) peppered about – really not much different to any Friday night of Siamese wiles and Japanese smiles, old-hands and a young falang hard-charger or two, a few not-so-innocent bystanders perhaps - but there always plenty of elbow room here at the ‘O-FIT’. As usual, the main action centres on the pool table where face is won and lost and paid no mind.

      Pot-luck on the jukebox...although DJ PUN still gets the old place rockin’, he does mix it up with some Barry Manilow, but a little hip-hop from the old school is cool as a rule – he’s no fool. Basically, any pop tune of the last hundred years or so is legit, so long as people don’t actually get up to leave. Mandy did that to me a time or two though...

      I’m no star, but yeah, I play some pool. A few razzle-dazzle flashes of days gone by and the odd chaos-ball from the Ace has been known to intimidate the hucksters and hustlers who sometimes happen by, always serious about winning. On good nights there are some ripping games with strangers or old Siamese friends like Mr. Putt and DJ Pun - not so much with Sons of Nippon like the one they call the Samurai. Putt’s like me - always cracking wise and who-cares-who-wins. Pun – he always plays like there’s a long night ahead...

      The night maybe young, but she’s no virgin. It’s gone one, with the Ace a long way from home, so I say my goodbyes and wander off for the Skytrain to Victory Monument. Along the way a falang passenger exclaims, Four thousand for 4 minutes...too expensive! I can only imagine what that was about – online poker maybe. After that, the 7-baht white-knuckle ride on the ancient red-rattler bus roaring homeward through the night seems normal.

      * * *

      Day 1.

      THE ACE MAKES it home to Lotusville in one piece, stopping by the local 7-11 in the early hours to do a little crowing about his alleged sporting prowess for the amusement of friends working the drag shift, capping his performance with a flourishing oration in the Siamese vernacular:

      My fellow working poor! The Ace bids all those honest toilers present a happy new year and good fortune...Alas! I must away to rest weary bones for the year ahead. As said the late, great Godfather of Soul, ‘I don’t wanna go, but I gotta go!’

      So the Ace went...only to wake around dawn as usual. Rousing myself, I went for a wander back down to the ‘Seven’ to finish the telling of the tale about the young YING of the actress persuasion, who’d embraced the Ace with a kiss for AULD LANG SYNE. The 7-11 girls from last night hang on the drop of a name, but I draw a blank. Fortunately, the Ace has enough street-cred for the girls to at least believe that I believe the bit about the actress. Anyway, her mother was there behind the bar all night.

      Let me say before going any further, that life beyond the language barrier is often banal, and sometimes a little bananas. But it’s a space which allows the Ace to expand dialogue by flirting with cultural norms and YINGS of all ages (the older they are, the easier it gets) with everyday social interaction often featuring mutually amusing allusions of feminine charm versus falang personal finances and marital history. Indeed, your average YING demonstrates a keen interest in both areas and confidence in her general understanding thereof, albeit rarely gained first-hand.

      Of course, the Ace being a TA-LEUNG saucy devil (although not a particularly handsome one) often makes for entertaining conversation, but even air-kisses are a definite no-no - public displays of amorous affection or

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1