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    Brexit Onions (a taste of February 2018)
    Brexit Onions (a taste of February 2018)
    Brexit Onions (a taste of February 2018)
    Ebook35 pages26 minutes

    Brexit Onions (a taste of February 2018)

    By Phoebe Cutlass

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    About this ebook

    This is a satirical dart gun fired into the fat, rubbery hide of Brexit.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPhoebe Cutlass
    Release dateDec 7, 2018
    ISBN9781386931935
    Brexit Onions (a taste of February 2018)

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      Book preview

      Brexit Onions (a taste of February 2018) - Phoebe Cutlass

      Brussels from on high

      The lights are going on all over Europe.

      Jean-Claude Juncker, President of the European Commission, looked out from his Brussels office window high up on the ninth floor. He watched as the lights fanned out across a city that he loved.

      Jean-Claude Juncker was in a good mood.

      He had just sent down his order for carbonnade a la flamande.

      Not only that, but five short minutes since, a first-rate cleaner had been sent up at his personal request. This was just to tidy up the room a little prior to the visit of a man in clean, white overalls who came to check for listening devices.

      The Russians or the British, you can never be too careful.

      The President turned his gaze from the window and basked in the ordered serenity around him. The EU building hummed like a ship – like some huge behemoth on the world’s oceans.

      Its bearings fed to it in tiny packages of airborne data, everything about this monstrously sized vessel drew admiring report from across the far flung globe. It seemed the world and its dog liked what the EU stood for.

      Well, most of the time.

      The European Project was, he knew, a thing of scale-and-mass, attracting wonder (and at times a little envy). But in circumstances good and bad, it never deviated from its sense of purpose.

      True to its potential, it would hold the future to account.

      Jean-Claude Juncker was emotional in his attachment to the EU.

      He often felt like some besotted Captain on the bridge of a much-loved ship (one he knew from stem-to-stern). He was like a character in some film from the 1930s (like Humphrey Bogart on a leaky lugger in the China Seas).

      Except in all reality, he wasn’t that at all. The Post-War world had seen to that.

      If anything, he was a veritable Captain Kirk.

      His Starship Enterprise - like the original - was cutting edge. And how, indeed, he loved the feature-rich technology which sprouted from its every bulwark.

      Twenty-eight states working together.

      His pulse had always quickened at what they could achieve together.

      And then he thought about the British.

      The British never quite belonged

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