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    Dad Jokes: More Than 400 Unbearable, Groan-Inducing One-Liners Sure to Make You the Deadliest Dad With a Pun
    Dad Jokes: More Than 400 Unbearable, Groan-Inducing One-Liners Sure to Make You the Deadliest Dad With a Pun
    Dad Jokes: More Than 400 Unbearable, Groan-Inducing One-Liners Sure to Make You the Deadliest Dad With a Pun
    Ebook430 pages54 minutes

    Dad Jokes: More Than 400 Unbearable, Groan-Inducing One-Liners Sure to Make You the Deadliest Dad With a Pun

    By Joe Kerz

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    About this ebook

    Have you ever noticed when you’re out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered “yes” to any of the following, you’re not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad’s persona.

    This comedic canon compiles more than four hundred of the best pseudo-witty quips so that dads can hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as:
    • Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
    • How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
    • What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
    • What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
    • And many other gut-busting groaners for your amusement!
    With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the ultimate jokester and the master of all things punny—or just keep it for yourself.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRacehorse
    Release dateJun 5, 2018
    ISBN9781631583735
    Dad Jokes: More Than 400 Unbearable, Groan-Inducing One-Liners Sure to Make You the Deadliest Dad With a Pun

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      Book preview

      Dad Jokes - Joe Kerz

      INTRODUCTION

      As if being a father wasn’t hard enough, now you have to be funny as well? It’s a high-pressure situation. Thankfully, some genius fathers must have gotten together and realized that they had to right the ship, and this book provides you smooth sailing even if you are a novice at the pun game.

      There’s plenty here to dig into. Grab your shovel. The great thing about the Dad Joke is that it gives you the opportunity to revolt in your own way. How many things have you been asked to fix today that you simply don’t know how to fix? How many times did you have to make room for the kids sleeping in your bed only to find yourself eventually displaced to the couch? Now, it’s time for revenge. Make the kids cringe; be spectacularly uncool.

      Each and every one of these jokes enclosed in this tome are sure to illicit a response. None of these responses may be laughter, but there will surely be a reaction! The more eye-rolling and forehead-slapping, the better. If all goes well you’ll hear an annoyed statement of "DAD!" and you’ll know you’ve done your job. Be sure to share the content of this book with other fathers. The time has come—get ready to unleash your corniest pun and worst groaner. Dad Jokes are no laughing matter.

      JOKES

      1

      WHAT DID THE POLICEMAN SAY TO HIS BELLY BUTTON?

      You’re under a vest!

      2

      Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

      Because he felt crummy!

      3

      Why did Billy throw the clock out of the window?

      Because he wanted to see time fly!

      4

      WHAT DO LAWYERS WEAR TO COURT?

      Lawsuits!

      5

      What do you call a fake noodle?

      An impasta!

      6

      Why did the robber take a bath?

      Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!

      7

      What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

      You look flushed!

      8

      WHAT DO YOU CALL A BELT WITH A WATCH ON IT?

      A waist of time!

      9

      How do you find a Princess?

      You follow the foot Prince.

      10

      What lights up a soccer stadium?

      A soccer match!

      11

      Where do snowmen keep their money?

      In snow banks!

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