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    Holiday Mayhem
    Holiday Mayhem
    Holiday Mayhem
    Ebook57 pages33 minutes

    Holiday Mayhem

    By Doug Forrester

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Do you view holidays as something to dread if not fear?

    Do you or do someone you know finds the time spent with family during holidays to be absolutely loathsome and full of drama and stress?

    If so, this book is for you!

    Doug Forrester, relates the often hilarious anecdotal stories of his own family's holiday get- togethers while at the same time relaying important lessons on what he learned and what you may learn from as well.  This book does not seek to castigate or shame those who do not "get" the holidays; instead it offers practical advice that you can use to make your holidays a little merrier.

    Holiday Mayhem is for those looking for new ideas and solutions to create a happier holiday season for their own families or for those interested in getting a good laugh at how dysfunctional and often (unintentionally) funny family holiday events can be!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherFusion Publications
    Release dateDec 31, 2018
    ISBN9781386963387
    Holiday Mayhem

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      Book preview

      Holiday Mayhem - Doug Forrester

      Introduction – Home for the Holidays

      Iget it.  I know how it is.  I wrote this book because I recognized myself in many of the other men and women I know meet every day.   The thrill of being around for the holidays is really no more; it’s just not there.   My goal here is not to try to convince you to necessarily change your ways, much less your perspective on the holiday season far from it.   It is only to reflect on what I’ve learned being Mr. Grump, Super Grump, the King of All Grumps – at least that’s what they told me.

      But I ask you, who is the real grouch when the kids are all whining when they didn’t get exactly what they wanted or um, perhaps more accurately, didn’t the million and one things they wanted.  Or how about when everyone gives me that fake smile to show their disapproval over my refusal to just fit in, play nice nice, act all fake and pretend as if I’m enjoying myself.  I’m not and I don’t thank you very much.

      Here is the cold, hard truth - that I believe then as I do now that I had legitimate reasons for the way I behaved, the things I knew were true and my own feelings of trepidation and melancholy surrounding that particular time period. And no – I do not want, need, or desire your cute little therapy sessions from some overpriced nitwit who think he’s the second coming of Freud.  Nor am I interested in interventions that don’t go anywhere.  Don’t even get me started about that – the last time I saw one of those I couldn’t help but laughing.

      Everything is annoying about the holidays; everything is obnoxious about them to the highest level.  It doesn’t matter which one mind you, just take your pick – Christmas, Hanukah, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, Kwanzaa...they’re all just as bad.  Christmas probably, no scratch that, certainly being among the biggest of the offenders here.  Why? Every store starts their Christmas/holiday season in...August? Or was it July?

      Put on your TV and you get an endless parade of commercials; a veritable Conga Line of irritants, demanding you fork over your hard-earned dough for some meaningless material object that will likely end up collecting dust in someone’s closet somewhere, in the trash can, or on EBay.

      Happens all the time. Trust me.

      Then you have the incessant, sweet little cards about your relatives telling you – being you of course bothered to ask and were just dying to find out – how their kids are doing, what play they performed in, what sports team they are on and how their grades are doing. 

      May I vomit now

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