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    Odd Jobs: How to Have Fun and Make Money in a Bad Economy
    Odd Jobs: How to Have Fun and Make Money in a Bad Economy
    Odd Jobs: How to Have Fun and Make Money in a Bad Economy
    Ebook286 pages1 hour

    Odd Jobs: How to Have Fun and Make Money in a Bad Economy

    By Abigail Gehring

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    About this ebook

    Here is a book for every curious, courageous, or desperate person who’s willing to set convention aside to earn a living in the face of an ailing economy. From fashioning balloon animals to promoting liquor brands to picking berries in Australia, this easy-to-read, entertaining book takes a candid look at over a hundred jobs that don’t require you to sit in an office eight hours a day, five days a week.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSkyhorse
    Release dateMar 8, 2012
    ISBN9781620872475
    Odd Jobs: How to Have Fun and Make Money in a Bad Economy
    Author

    Abigail Gehring

    Abigail R. Gehring is the author or editor of more than a dozen books including Back to Basics, Homesteading, The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Country Living, and Classic Candy. She enjoys writing, gardening, experimenting in the kitchen, and spending time with family. She lives with her husband and two children in an 1800s farmstead they are restoring in Marlboro, Vermont.

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      Book preview

      Odd Jobs - Abigail Gehring

      Chapter One

      THE SERVICE INDUSTRY

      Doing What Needs to Get Done

      Pedicab Operator

      Personal Assistant

      Crossing Guard

      Dog Walker

      Bike Messenger

      Model for Artists or Photographers

      Yard Work/Landscaping

      Escort

      Closet Exorcist

      Christmas Tree Decorator

      Windshield Washer

      Rent Out a Room

      Pedicab/Bicycle Rickshaw

      House-Sitter

      Gift Wrapper

      House Cleaner

      Pooper Scooper

      Hospice/Elderly Care

      Personal Shopper

      I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal

      calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint—and that the

      best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then

      find a way to offer it to others in the form of service . . .

      —Oprah Winfrey

      BEADY-EYED RODENT

      The biggest issue was the ferret. Sure, there were other things about the job that were a little strange. Like the lengths of damp paper towel strewn about the kitchen, draped over the dish drainer, and hanging from cabinet knobs, because Maria instructed us to reuse them for hand drying until they disintegrated. (I really don’t know why we couldn’t have just put out a regular cloth hand towel.) There was the day that she asked if I had ever repaired a roof, and when I said no, she told me where to find the hammer, and I guessed that meant I had to figure it out. Out the window I went. Or the way she insisted I stand certain ways in her presence—not hunched but not too rigid, and never in the doorway when she was sitting at her desk facing the window, because it created bad energy. Overall, I made out just fine, considering that she asked one of my friends who also assisted her (for a short time) whether she had had forceps used on her at birth. Because that could explain a lot, she said, sounding almost sympathetic. "You know, like why you’re so slow."

      But, like I said, the ferret was the clincher. It was a vicious, slinky thing, and it ran freely about the house. Heaven forbid if you should open the door and let it sneak out into the suburban New Jersey neighborhood. This was, perhaps, my greatest fear. There would be no catching the little beast, and though I would have secretly rejoiced in its choice to adapt to an alternative lifestyle, away from the confines of a four-walled home where it had to coexist with me, its escape would surely unleash an entirely new fury in Maria. And it would most likely be the end of a job that, despite its oddities, I wished to keep at least until the end of the summer.

      Maybe I never really gave the critter a chance. I have to admit that I disliked it from the moment it stared up at me with its rodent eyes as if it were daring me to do something—what, I’m not sure. I thought for a second that perhaps it wanted me to run my fingers lightly across its glossy coat, but apparently I was wrong, because just then it darted under the table. Which, I learned, was actually a good thing, since a moment later Maria warned, Careful. He nips a bit sometimes. A nipping, beady-eyed rodent. What’s not to love?

      I was organizing the cupboard under the bathroom sink when we had our first match. I had an enormous package of toilet paper rolls, which were all supposed to fit in the cupboard, despite the fact that it was already full of cleaning solutions, old toothbrushes, a large bottle of peroxide, bags of cotton balls—you know, all the usual under-the-sink stuff. It was a small bathroom, but I sat on the floor with my legs straddled, sorting things out on the linoleum around me—the first step in the consolidation effort. I leaned forward, working quickly (efficiency was the god of that particular household/business) when I felt a sharp pinch on my lower back, in the gap between the top of my jeans and the bottom of my shirt. I flinched and turned around just in time to see a black streak disappear around the corner. Ferret . . . I warned (I was never willing to dignify it by using its Christian name). I set back to work, chuckling despite myself. There I was, sprawled out on a bathroom floor, sorting toilet paper and getting my butt bit by a rodent. The second time it wasn’t so funny, and the third time he really chomped down; I actually heard a little rodent snicker as it scuttled away. I stood up, ready for action. I couldn’t shut the door because I wouldn’t fit in there with all the stuff sprawled out, and besides, I had a sneaky suspicion that ferrets could flatten themselves out and squeeze under door cracks. Maybe it was unfounded, but I wasn’t taking the risk.

      Where are you, Ferret? I called in my most syrupy voice. It peeked its head out from behind a flowerpot and the moment of truth was upon me (although I can’t now remember what I’d thought I was actually going to do). But apparently I had spoken too loudly. What? Is he causing trouble again? Maria came around the corner, speaking in that little kid, gaga googoo voice that I detest under all circumstances. Yes, a bit, I answered flatly. To my relief she swept it up in her arms and carried it away, mumbling into its fur, He must be bored. Are you bored, little fella? Although generally I don’t support killing animals for their fur, I couldn’t help thinking at that moment that Ferret would make a lovely muff.

      Ferret’s greatest weapon was the element of surprise. He had an impressively developed sense of timing for a creature who was basically a floor mop with teeth. One morning Pam was making business phone calls in the office as I pieced together the fourth scrapbook of business-related articles, letters, and photographs. We have two different addresses for you, and I’d just like to verify which one is correct, I heard Pam saying. I zoned out again, absorbed in chronological sorting, until a loud yelp broke my concentration. It was immediately followed by quick, breathless apologies as Pam swatted madly at her pant legs with her free hand, a bulge moving and squeaking somewhere around her right thigh. She flinched and I knew he was biting hard. Amazingly, after the initial shriek, she managed to remain composed over the phone, shaking her leg violently while trying to write down an address. I should’ve helped, but all I could do was stare, aghast.

      Pam survived without injury, as did the ferret (unfortunately, I thought at the time), but from that day on we kept our legs curled up Indian style on our seats whenever we made calls. I still find myself occasionally tucking up my feet in office situations, and I get edgy when my shirt doesn’t come down low enough in back—survival habits formed in extreme situations don’t quickly fade.

      In this section, you’ll find a description of personal assistant positions such as this one, as well as information on dog walkers, pedicab operators, closet exorcists, gift wrappers, and more.

      1. Personal Assistant

      HOW DO YOU GET THE JOB?

      The best way to find personal assistant positions is to search general job listings, such as www.craigslist.com. If you want to be a celebrity assistant, you should first get some regular assistant experience, and then try contacting celebrities’ secretaries or publicists to find out if an assistant is needed. Alternately, some general employment agencies staff personal assistants (look through your local yellow pages for contact information). Whatever your approach, be prepared with a resume of your skills and job history, a professional and friendly demeanor, and a willing attitude.

      2. Crossing Guard

      HOW DO YOU GET THE JOB?

      Many crossing guard job openings for public schools are listed on city Web sites, as the positions are often paid for by local taxes. If you’re interested in working at a private school, you should contact the school directly to inquire.

      3. Dog Walker

      4. Bike Messenger

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