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    Interpreting A Man's Intentions
    Interpreting A Man's Intentions
    Interpreting A Man's Intentions
    Ebook30 pages32 minutes

    Interpreting A Man's Intentions

    By Jonathan Antony Strickland

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    About this ebook

    Just what is going on with the man in the red suite? During a simple leisurely stroll, things begin to take a turn for the worse. Deadly situations, strange adventures, romance, love, death, dangerous creatures, time freezing plots, and an enemy so infamous that he is feared throughout all the dimensions of the universe!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJonathan Antony Strickland
    Release dateJan 11, 2019
    ISBN9780463129647
    Interpreting A Man's Intentions
    Author

    Jonathan Antony Strickland

    You really want me to reveal personal information here?O.K then... here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!Well for starters you can contact me on milthyswinebuckle@gmail.comMy Hobbies:1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by... passes the time if nothing else!2_Managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive! Well... what I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with, was still inside the pig!3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he were ever to catch fire4_Scratching my arse!5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).My most famous quotes:1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees!3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.7 As far as I'm concerned you should not judge a fellow person on their looks, sex, race or beliefs. There are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites, who want to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!!! That's TURD... Got it? No? Then I'll say it again, just in case you missed it...T.U.R.DMy Arch Enemies:1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squawks and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as... Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc... but to me he will always be Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face... ARSEWIPE!)2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish... Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)3_Randy Stodgeflaps... not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only I can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing words like..."KNICKERS" or "ARSE" or some other filth! It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSEHOLES, PANTS,......Oh bugger!"PS: Does anyone actually read any of this personal information shit?

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      Book preview

      Interpreting A Man's Intentions - Jonathan Antony Strickland

      Smashwords Edition License Notes: This is a free story, you may reproduce it as you wish, so long as you do not charge for it. Please leave any comments on the authors smashwords page.

      Interpreting A Man's Intentions

      by: Jonathan Antony Strickland

      It was a hot and sunny day as the golden-rays of light washed across the landscape, causing a myriad of colours to dance upon the rivers surface that provided the necessary energies for the many fields of corn and wheat to grow along it's snaking path. Even though it was early morning, hordes of people from the small town of Tremwell had left their homes to sit by the riverbank to enjoy the day with the rest of their families while munching on sweet succulent pleasures of fresh cream scones, strawberry tarts and other such delicacies, easily purchased from the nearby local supermarket.

      Observing the sheer joy and happiness that surrounded him, as young couples kissed, canoodled and cuddled as their children played, ran and laughed, and as animals barked, mooed or bayed, was a certain Winston Henry Pickle. He walked with a slow swagger and wore a constant smile that never broke or faded in the slightest bit. And no matter how many people he passed, he bid good-day to all, walking along the river's bank cheerfully.

      Days like this made all the struggle and heartbreak, all the pain and suffering, all of the... well, all of everything that the mundane dredge of life could hurl at a man (and hurl with such a mighty force and aggression as to knock the poor sap down) seem distant. But more importantly it simmered those said days when life seemed so pointless. Those awful days when life would do such blunt acts without a single thought or a care as to the consequences!

      Not today though, today seemed the kind of day when nothing went wrong. And if by some chance of fate something did turn sour then the cheery joy that filled the air meant that somebody would be there to help. Today was the kind of day when robbers, rapists and murderers changed their ways, or at least that was what it felt like to the everyday normal individuals. Winston however was not normal. Deep down he knew that in reality even on a day like today bad stuff still happened.

      But surely day's such as this had some kind of effect, surely there was more chance of neighbour helping neighbour, enemies becoming friends, differences

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