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    Heaven Vs Earth
    Heaven Vs Earth
    Heaven Vs Earth
    Ebook98 pages1 hour

    Heaven Vs Earth

    By Aaron D Phillips

    ()

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    About this ebook

    'Devilishly funny'.

    God has spent far too long tolerating the humans he created, so he feels like it's time for a change. It won't be quite as easy as he'd hoped, as Satan is quite happy enjoying life on Earth, and there is the small problem of his son with a drug problem, and an angel-turned-human who can't stop eating.

    The eternal battle between good and evil has been turned on it's head - Heaven Vs Earth - who will triumph?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAaron D Phillips
    Release dateJan 14, 2019
    ISBN9781386806967
    Heaven Vs Earth

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      Book preview

      Heaven Vs Earth - Aaron D Phillips

      For Sarah, Miles, George and my parents.

      Chapter One

      ‘Are you going away again this weekend?’

      Dave Crowther piled a fork full of egg in to his mouth, nodding his head.

      ‘Do you really need to go fishing again? I thought we could spend some time together and head to the coast? Bullet would love it too’.

      Dave looked down at Bullet, their jack russell, who seemed to understand what had been said, head cocked sideways.

      ‘It sounds lovely, but I find fishing relaxing; you know I don’t deal with stress very well’.

      Susan Crowther rolled her eyes and cracked an egg in to the frying pan, sending Bullet’s tail wagging even faster.

      ‘I don’t get what you find so stressful? You’re an accountant, how much stress can you have? I do all the chores and cooking; all you have to worry about is going to work and walking the dog’.

      Dave finished the last of the egg and sat back in the chair, resting his hands on his ample stomach.

      ‘My job is more stressful than you think; you wouldn’t believe the amount of tax-dodging that I’m encouraged to do, not to mention deadlines’.

      Susan slid a fried egg off the pan and on to Dave’s plate, much to the disappointment of Bullet.

      ‘Tax dodging? Don’t you end up getting in to trouble love, what will we do if you lost your job? I’m not going back to work in the supermarket; especially if Brenda is still in charge. She could of given Hitler a run for his money on the fascist stakes’.

      ‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to lose my job’ said Dave, as he flicked some egg from his fork in to Bullet’s mouth.

      ‘You better not. Can you keep one weekend free soon though? Just so we can go away together?’ asked Susan, taking off her apron and joining Dave at the table.

      ‘Of course. I’ll chat to the guys and see what weekends they can’t do’.

      Susan huffed and got up from the table.

      ‘What’s the matter?’

      ‘Oh, nothing, you go and chat to your friends first’ said Susan, as she walked out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

      ‘Bloody hell Bullet, what did I say wrong?’

      Bullet cocked his head to one side, hoping that some more egg might come his way.

      ‘I suppose I’d better go and find out what I did wrong this time’ said Dave as he hauled himself out of the chair, and walked in to their small grassed garden. Susan was sat on the wooden bench by their water feature, which had stopped working.

      ‘What’s up love? I’ll fix that as soon as I can get down to the hardware store’.

      ‘I’m not annoyed about the bloody water feature; that’s been broke for two years already’ snapped Susan.

      Dave sat down on the wooden bench, which creaked slightly.

      ‘I promise I’ll keep a weekend free for us to go away, ok? I just need to pick one that suits’.

      Susan turned to him with glare that made him lean back in to the bench.

      ‘Why don’t you put me first for once? Why can’t you say to your friends, actually guys, I’m going to take my wife away so I’ll won’t be able to go fishing this weekend. Has that never crossed your mind?’

      Dave thought for a moment. He waited to think about what to say next, just in case he made it a whole lot worse.

      ‘You’re right, I will tell them this weekend that I can’t make next week as we are going away together’.

      Susan’s glare morphed in to a smile.

      ‘Do mean that?’

      ‘Yes, I promise’.

      Susan leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, before getting up and walking back to the kitchen.

      ‘Phew, that went better than I thought’ sighed Dave, as he looked down at Bullet holding a stick in his mouth.

      ‘I think he wants to go for a walk’ shouted Susan from the kitchen window.

      ‘Ok dear, I’ll take him now before work’.

      Dave looked down at Bullet and whispered.

      ‘Maybe we can stop off at the burger bar on the way, but don’t tell mum’.

      Bullet let out a short bark as Dave got his lead and headed out the back gate.

      The Somerset village of Hempton has a small but bustling high st; mostly made up of small independent traders, but with a few national chains scattered in-between. Overlooking the high st is St Andrews church, which looms above the village on a hill; now empty, bar a few teenagers drinking on the weekends. Spreading out from the high st are a collection of narrow streets, lined with old terraced cottages, mixed in with two newer housing estates. Dave and Susan live on the newest on those estates, at number 22 Crest Drive. The walk from their house to the accountancy firm in the high st takes around ten minutes; slightly more if the burger van on the main road is open.

      ‘The usual?’

      ‘Yes, please’ said Dave as he opened his wallet.

      There was a hiss of fat as a large burger was flipped on the grill. Dave licked his lips.

      ‘Did Susan not make you enough breakfast this morning? Said John, the burger van owner.

      ‘Well, she made some eggs, but I’ve taken Bullet for a walk this morning so I think I’ve earned an extra treat’.

      ‘Fair enough. Here you go, with added cheese’.

      Dave handed over the money and took the burger.

      ‘Thanks John, may see you on the way home’.

      Dave finished the last bite as he reached the door of Addles Accountancy, the firm where he has worked for the past ten years.

      ‘Morning Sarah, how are you?’

      Sarah the receptionist grunted as she kept her eyes on her computer screen. Dave had yet to get a civil word out of her in ten years. He looked up at the short flight of stairs to his office, and opted to take the lift instead. Just when he had enough of waiting and went to take the stairs, the lift pinged and the doors opened.

      ‘Ah, Dave, glad I’ve seen you’.

      Dave tutted under his breath as he turned around and smiled.

      ‘Morning Gordon, how are you?’

      Gordon Addles held the door open and ushered Dave in. His sliver hair glistened from

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