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    I'm Celibate, Now What?
    I'm Celibate, Now What?
    I'm Celibate, Now What?
    Ebook92 pages1 hour

    I'm Celibate, Now What?

    By Latonya Jones

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    About this ebook

    Have you decided to be celibate? Are there days when you’re unsure about your decision? Seems like all you do is go to church, read your bible, and attend bible study, in hopes that the love of your live will magically appear...soon!

    When your prayers are not answered, do you find it easy to fall back into your old way of doing things? These patterns often leave us bitter, resentful, and hopeless.

    I’m Celibate, Now What? shares real life experiences of toxic relationships, practical advice on how to overcome and therapeutic techniques to help you live a life satisfying without sex.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLatonya Jones
    Release dateJan 15, 2019
    ISBN9781732990210
    I'm Celibate, Now What?
    Author

    Latonya Jones

    Latonya Jones has been independently motivating, encouraging, and supporting women through toxic and abusive relationships for several years. Her educational background, including a master’s degree in Human Service and bachelor’s degree in Journalism, has led her to blog on social media platforms that focus on parenting, family matters, and mental health awareness. Her humanitarian efforts can be confirmed through her support group, Nattalicious, where she collects hair care products and toiletry items through the Stuff-A-Purse campaign to distribute to local women’s shelters. She has worked as a mental health professional and provided case management service for several social service agencies.You may learn more about her work as a human service professional by visiting www.latonyajones.com

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      Book preview

      I'm Celibate, Now What? - Latonya Jones

      Dedication

      I dedicate this book to my children. Because of you, I am a better woman and a better mother. I pray that every generational curse, known and unknown, are destroyed over your lives, in Jesus name, and that he continues to grant me and every member of your support system with the wisdom, love, empathy, respect, resources, obedience, and protection needed so that you are able to live out God’s ordained purpose for your lives. Love, Mom. 

      Acknowledgements

      Many thanks to my family, friends, associates, church ladies, past and present co-workers, and supporters for the work, research, guidance, love, encouragement, and support, that has helped me to write this book. Thank You God, for granting me the grace to live through and learn from these experiences to be able to educate and ignite healing to this population of women across the world. 

      Table of Contents

      Dedication

      Acknowledgements

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      Chapter 1

      In the Beginning

      Chapter 2

      Trouble In Paradise

      Chapter 3

      Welcome to the Real World

      Chapter 4

      As Within, so Without

      Chapter 5

      To Steal, Kill, and Destroy

      Chapter 6

      The Great Awakening

      Chapter 7

      The Dynamic Duo:

      Ruth and Naomi

      Chapter 8

      First Things First: Love Yourself

      Chapter 9

      And so, it begins…Healing

      Chapter 10

      How to be Satisfied without Sex

      Chapter 11

      The Fifth Year Struggle — Understanding God’s Grace and Mercy.

      Chapter 12

      What does godly dating look like?

      The codes and ethics of

      dating while celibate

      About the Author

      Introduction

      Women all over the world are desperately seeking their Boaz, their relationship goals, soulmates, life partners, and husbands. Social media has made it easy for the popularity of relationship experts, self-love ambassadors, pastors, and friends to use their platform to educate women on how to attract the man of your dreams. Sometimes this work, sometimes it doesn ’ t. Often times, if you listen to these various genres of people at one time, the message can be very conflicting, creating anxiety and lack of encouragement.

      Over time, you may fall prey to believing the epidemic that there is a shortage of men, or all men are dogs, or that you have to move to a new city in order to find a man. But what if the secret to finding a good man is through finding yourself? What if you find yourself and lose your man? What if you practice every rule identified by these self-love ambassadors and relationship experts only to discover that God ’ s plan for you is to remain single? If you take away your quest to find or to be found by a man, would you still be satisfied with yourself?

      Many women are practicing celibacy as their last result to attract a man. If you are living this lifestyle or considering this lifestyle, then you can agree that premarital sex oftentimes clouds your judgement, leaving you stuck in toxic, abusive, dead-end relationships with the illusion that disrespect, lack of support, and verbal/physical/or mental abuse is love. If you are successful to end these types of relationships, and then allow yourself a few months of being alone only to end up attracting another abusive, controlling, disrespectful partner, one has to ask, why is that? Unable to identify the answer, you join a church to seek healing and dedicate yourself to celibacy until you are married.

      The problem is, you find yourself lonely and craving the companionship of a man. The only advice anyone can give you is to pray about it, but you ’ ve prayed a million times already. God must have not gotten the memo! The good news is I ’ m Celibate, Now What? - The Christian Woman ’ s Guide to Being Satisfied Without Sex was designed with you in mind. I ’ m here to share with you my personal journey on how I became celibate and what this journey has taught me thus far. Together, we will heal, encourage, and inspire others through our actions.

      Chapter 1

      In the Beginning

      Women enter celibacy for various reasons. For some, it was always taught and instilled in them as a little girl that they are not to have sex before marriage. For others, their sexual rights were compromised by a stranger, loved one, or a family member. Maybe you were married and now divorced or widowed but experiencing celibacy for the first time in your adult life. Maybe you are like me, entering celibacy as the result of a toxic relationship, heartbreak, and fed up with giving yourself to the wrong man. Regardless of when or why you decided to abstain from sex, this new life can be very challenging as you learn to control your emotions and to date the opposite sex without having sex.

      When I entered puberty, I was constantly told that sex before marriage was wrong. I was not given any reason for why it was wrong, I was simply told it was wrong. The way I was reared, you respect your elder and do as you were told. My elders told me, Why would a guy marry the cow if he can get the milk for free? When I was younger, I had no idea what that meant. Was I a cow? Who gave out free milk anyways?

      Before my grandmother passed, I spent a lot of time at her house. I can remember crying to attend church with her. There was not much to do growing up and church was where you went to catch up on the happenings in the neighborhood, find out the latest gossip, and be entertained by the pastor. The point is, I did not grow up in a super-religious, holier than thou background. We believed in Jesus, loved the Lord, said our prayers, and that pretty much summed up my Christian experience.

      When I enrolled in college, I was introduced to a whole new world. It was my first time away from home, alone. My parents, I ’ m sure with good intentions, dropped me off with what little belongings I had and instructed me to call home when necessary. The day had come that every teenager desperately longed for, I was officially grown or at least I thought. Reality settled in when I had no idea how

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