Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Through a New Lens
    Through a New Lens
    Through a New Lens
    Ebook184 pages2 hours

    Through a New Lens

    By Colby Ross

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Ridiculous sensitive topics people think about but don't necessarily want to EVER discuss
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateDec 18, 2018
    ISBN9781543956573
    Through a New Lens

    Related to Through a New Lens

    Related ebooks

    Personal Growth For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      The Making Of A Man

      Jun 5, 2022

      The Making Of A Man
      16 min read

    • Article

      Between

      Mar 4, 2021

      Between
      8 min read

    • Article

      Frank Talk

      May 20, 2019

      Frank Talk
      3 min read

    • Article

      DROP THE baggage

      Jul 5, 2022

      DROP THE baggage
      5 min read

    • Article

      Why Empathy Can Be So Hard

      May 1, 2023

      I RECENTLY SPOKE at a conference for CEOs in North Carolina, and after I gave my presentation, an enthusiastic gentleman came over to speak with me. He told me how great my presentation was and how he worked with “coloured people” back home and how i

      7 min read

    • Article

      Kate Baer Poet Author Mother

      Jun 2, 2022

      Kate Baer Poet Author Mother
      6 min read

    • Article

      ASK Annalisa Barbieri

      Nov 12, 2021

      I am 16, and identify as an ace lesbian. I have questioned my sexuality since the age of 12 or 13, thinking I was bisexual. I downloaded TikTok, which allowed me to explore my identity more and interact with other queer young people. Until this summe

      2 min read

    • Article

      Dating Drama

      Jun 1, 2020

      Dating Drama
      8 min read

    • Article

      A Chat With Ashley Simpo

      Mar 3, 2022

      A Chat With Ashley Simpo
      8 min read

    • Article

      The Life Lab

      Mar 16, 2021

      Q I’m single, have no children and I’ve never had a long-term, fulfilling relationship. I have a job that I enjoy, a loving family and close friends. However, as time goes by, I feel that my friends mean more to me than I do to them because I’m alway

      4 min read

    • Article

      School Of Life

      Nov 23, 2023

      School Of Life
      19 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas…

      Apr 2, 2020

      Elisabeth Hancock is a business coach, working with women to help them get their energy back so that they can have more freedom, increased success and be true to themselves. elisabethhancock.com Q Recently I’ve felt really anxious about everything ev

      3 min read

    • Article

      Beneath The Surface

      Dec 11, 2019

      Beneath The Surface
      11 min read

    • Article

      Myha’la Herrold

      Jun 13, 2023

      Being an adult is… Crazy. What are you worried about currently? I’m worried the WGA [Writers Guild of America] will have to strike for longer than is sustainable for individuals. But they will win so I’m really not ‘worried’ at all. If someone could

      2 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas

      Apr 18, 2024

      International Executive Coach of the Year, Jo Emerson, answers your questions. Listen to her podcast Tell Me Who You Really Are on your preferred platform now. Jo’s new email course can help you build confidence – visit jo-emerson.com. Grab her book,

      3 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas…

      Apr 23, 2020

      Cathy Wassell is a business coach and owner of Socially Contented. She’s also an autism advocate and the founder of Teen Calm, a subscription box for anxious teens (teencalm.co.uk). Q I’ve been dating a guy for a year now but he won’t move in with me

      3 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Through a New Lens

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Through a New Lens - Colby Ross

      © 2017 Authored by Colby Ross

      All rights reserved.

      ISBN: 978-1-54395-656-6 (print)

      ISBN: 978-1-54395-657-3 (ebook)

      Contents

      Introduction

      We Can’t Blame Others if They Don’t Know How We Feel

      Don’t Forget Where You Come From

      Burning Bridges

      Forgive but Don’t Forget

      Is Our Reflection Our Enemy?

      Is It Us or the People We Choose?

      If We Have Too Much Fun, Life Gets Boring

      Light at the End of the Tunnel

      Depression

      The Finish Line

      We Are Alone Because No One Else Is

      The CEM (Chief Executive Mother)

      The Bumper-Sticker Christian

      Spiritual or Religious

      Afraid to Have a Voice

      Limbo

      Opposites Don’t Attract

      Work Backward, Not Forward

      I Am Who I Am Not Because You Are Who

      You Are

      It’s Just a White Lie

      Good Things Happen to Those Who Try

      The Doormat

      A Mistake Is Only a Mistake if We Don’t Learn

      from It

      Anger Is Good (When It’s Channeled Correctly)

      Learn to Compromise

      Is Marriage Really Worth It Anymore?

      Put On Your Oxygen Mask First

      College Can Wait

      People Who Can Justify Doing Wrong

      Share Your Passwords

      The Rabbit Trailer (Identity Crisis)

      Take a Bullet for Me, as I Would for You

      Our Lowest Point Is Our Highest Point

      Commitment Issues

      Fake It till You Make It

      Don’t Share Your Money

      Scared to Be Happy

      Our Ruler

      Minimalism

      If We Can’t Be Alone, We Shouldn’t Be in a Relationship

      Blessings in Disguise

      Fuck-You Money

      Stop Resenting the Wealthy

      Passive-Aggressive

      The Askhole

      The Motivation Struggle

      The Prenup

      College Is No Longer the Answer

      Productivity

      Competing with Others

      Jealousy

      Living with Your Parents Is Normal

      Have Your Own Friends

      Be Rich by Retirement

      Is Homeownership Really Worth It?

      Don’t Get a Promotion

      Divorce Isn’t a Bad Word

      Are We Phone Addicts?

      The Dangerous Form of Communication

      The Life Coaching Psychologist

      The False Prophet

      The Daily Routine

      Community College versus Universities

      The Fitness Fad

      Four Weeks Off a Year, a Must

      It Doesn’t Matter What You Spend but Rather What You Buy

      Stop Texting with Your Significant Other during

      the Day

      The Twenty-Four-Hour Rush Hour

      Love at First Sight

      Supersize Me

      Why We Stay in Toxic Relationships

      Success Is Dangerous

      You Can’t Just Be Friends

      Why We Cheat

      Everyone Has a Boss

      Multilevel Marketing (Pyramid Scheme)

      Social Media, Worse than Porn

      Trust No One

      First-World Nation in Last Place

      Living in the Past

      Don’t Cross Your Line

      Thinking It Isn’t Better than Saying It

      PTFD (Put Them Fucking Down)

      Conclusion

      Introduction

      So where should I start? My name is Colby Ross. For six years I watched my life turn to ruins in a matter of days. It’s amazing how you can go from the top to the bottom in the blink of an eye. Don’t worry; this isn’t a sob story or personal narrative. In fact, you will find very little about the trials I have faced. I do this for a reason: I did not want this book to be about me. Countless self-narratives talk about what people went through and how they conquered their problems. Although these are inspiring, they also take away from the difficulties we face as individuals.

      Humans naturally compare themselves to others in every aspect of their lives. We read stories about great suffering but belittle our own difficulties. It doesn’t matter whether you are rich, poor, healthy, sick, strong, or weak; everyone has their own fight. The only thing that varies is the lens through which we see it. In this book, you will read about questions you may have asked yourself but were scared to acknowledge. Maybe you felt guilty, or maybe you have been led to believe many of the lies society has taught you. You will find passages in this book that are angry, sad, frustrating, joyful, hopeful, and motivational. But please don’t think this is a self-help book. You will learn that I have very little respect for people in the business of motivational speaking, life coaching, or preaching. Yes, I hold beliefs, values, and opinions, but I also understand that people believe in things that are different from what I believe. I used to try to convince people to believe what I did, but I gave up when I realized that life isn’t black and white but rather shades of gray. Everything is up to interpretation and question. Those who don’t question are sheep following the herd, but it is the wolves we must reckon with. I have been at the top as well as the bottom. I have been strong but also weak—physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have traveled the world, learning much about culture and coming to realize that the United States does not constitute the entire world. It’s a country that at its very core is flawed. We are in a rat race, trying to get to a destination that does not exist.

      I consider this book an instruction manual on how to take a different approach to life’s challenges. I address a variety of topics, some of which you can relate to and others that may just make you question. You may agree with what I write, or you may think I am crazy. But remember, this is merely the lens through which I see the world. I believe less is more, which is why every topic is addressed in a thousand words or less. I believe that if you can’t get to the point in a thousand words, then it’s not worth talking about. Simplicity is harder than complexity. Anyone can use fancy words and useless information to fill a page. But it takes a true teacher to break down complex ideas in a way that anyone of any age could understand. I am by no means a writer. My grammar isn’t great, and trust me, I made my editor earn every dollar correcting my spelling. But I want you to take the core principles and ideas I share and make them your own. If you lose interest in one of the essays, then don’t bother reading that section; just skip to the next one. Why waste your time on something that doesn’t strike a chord from within?

      I ask just one thing, and that is for you to keep an open mind. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I will never be some great philosopher or self-help guru, but I can teach you to be strong physically, spiritually, and mentally. Sometimes the key to your prison is right in front of you; you just don’t know how to work the lock. Let me show you how.

      We Can’t Blame Others if They Don’t Know How We Feel

      You probably can tell by now that I am not a big fan of people who beat around the bush. In my past, I worked for many companies where I met all sorts of people. One thing I can’t seem to wrap my head around is why people let shit bottle up inside them. So many people harbor emotions because they are afraid to hurt someone. They think that because they don’t voice how they feel, they are protecting someone from potentially having their feelings hurt. I always have been a straight shooter. When I go on dates, I lay all my cards on the table. I don’t like the games people play, and I do not tolerate passive-aggressive behavior. Many people have things that bother them, but it’s hard for them to express what they are feeling to someone else. This is a bigger problem than we realize. In fact, it’s worse than not telling them at all. What we don’t see is that when we bottle up things inside ourselves, even though we may not express them verbally, we do physically. People aren’t stupid; they know when we are acting differently or something is upsetting us, but they can’t figure out what they are doing wrong or how they can change the behavior that’s upsetting us. It’s funny how often I hear people blaming someone privately because they don’t have it in them to speak directly to that person. In reality, we can’t blame someone if they don’t know how we feel. We can’t sit here bitching about the way a person acts when they don’t know that what they are doing bothers us. You can’t expect a child to have manners if they haven’t been taught any, and you can’t expect someone to read your mind when you are upset.

      Now, every equation has two sides. Numerous times we express how we feel, and that person continues to upset us in a certain way. In that case, we can blame them. In fact, it is important that we do. We must hold them accountable. Listening is the most important part of communicating, and like anything else, it is the give-and-take that promotes healthy relationship problem solving. We can’t blame another person if we internalize what is upsetting us. Eventually all pressure must be released, and the person who is upset is likely going to explode. We can’t control these feelings if we let them build up to that point. Trust your relationships to be able to handle kinks, but more important, trust yourself to voice your concerns. After all, what’s a relationship if you can’t communicate?

      Don’t Forget Where You Come From

      I will not lie to you and tell you that I came from humble beginnings. I did not. In fact, I came from a privileged background. When my mom got divorced from my father, my stepdad and my mother started a business that took off. We moved to Florida from a studio apartment in Chicago. From the age of five onward, I grew up with luxuries and privileges many kids would kill for. I traveled the world, went skiing every Christmas, and lived in a beautiful house on the water. But just because it looked good on the outside doesn’t mean it always was. Like many people whose lives look worthy of envy, there was always more than what meets the eye. I have spoken before about my difficulties growing up emotionally. It was not easy for my mom and me; everything came at a price. Without going into too many details, the moral of the story is that I don’t forget where I come from. I may have had it all outwardly, but internally I struggled for much of my childhood. For many years I resented this struggle, trying to figure out how a God of love could allow so many of us to suffer. As I matured, I learned to see life through a new lens. I learned that for us to become men and women, we must have reasons to grow into one. You don’t get taller without growing pains, you don’t get stronger without feeling the burn, and you don’t become spiritually wiser until you face difficulties that give you reason to.

      Now, we have all heard the countless motivational speeches and quotes that tell you what we go through makes us who we are. This is the only thing I actually agree with when it comes to self-help gurus. The reason I believe this is because I experienced it firsthand. As I grew up, I slowly saw the layers that folded over me to make me who I am today. Your trials have shaped you as an individual, and they are unique to who you are as a person. Many of the most successful people did not have it easy in some way or another. Whatever we become, we must never forget where we come from. We always must remember those who helped us along the way, and we must always stay humble. The minute we forget to be humble, arrogance will do it for you. It’s easy for us to breathe, but we appreciate breathing only when we can’t. There is no such thing as a self-made individual. Despite what you have heard, everyone needs somebody sometime. Everyone has had some sort of a mentor or guide along the way. It’s important to return the favor by being a beacon of light and hope for another person. I won’t pretend that I have always taken this advice. Many times I have gotten cocky when things seemed to be going right in my life, but reality always finds a way of reminding us when we are out of line. Some choose to listen, and others keep going, thinking they are invincible. Just remember that every empire in history has fallen at its peak of power. When we are flying

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1