How to Avoid Huge Ships
By Julie Bruck
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About this ebook
Julie Bruck
Julie Bruck is the author of two previous books, The End of Travel (1999), and The Woman Downstairs (1993). Her recent work has appeared in The New Yorker, Ploughshares, Maisonneuve, The Malahat Review, Valparaiso Poetry Review and The Walrus, among other publications. A Montreal native, she lives in San Francisco with her husband and daughter.
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How to Avoid Huge Ships - Julie Bruck
Acknowledgements
I. Maps
to the bridge
Eighteen or nineteen, unshaven,
with backpack, he stops me
on the quiet park trail, asks
where can I send him that’s
more secluded. Is there a place
where no one goes? We’re alone
on the path, and I’m trained
to give him anything he wants.
Walk west, I say, towards the ocean.
It’s only a mile, maybe two,
hoping that’s the end of it.
Can you repeat that? he asks.
Finally I retrieve my hands
from deep fleece pockets
and point. There, go down the hill.
Keep walking. See those woods?
That’s west. He thanks me, turns
away. While the rest of us keep
following designated trails in our
branded athletic shoes, measuring
what remains of an afternoon, light
pokes accusatory fingers into every
crevice: someone’s son walks west,
gaining on the Golden Gate Bridge
where so many beautiful boys fly.
I may have drawn this one a map.
dominion protection™
The name had an air of the Raj about it,
but the system was what my mother called
the contact points on every door and window.
Disarming meant dialing from the kitchen phone,
giving the receptionist a spoken code, part name, part
digits (simply, our phone number: WEllington three
four six oh oh). They must have hated accounts like ours,
with pot-fuelled, latchkey teens whose sole incoming
focus was the refrigerator, who were usually found
combing the Frost Free shelves, startled, mouths
full of frozen cake by the time police arrived.
And it’s curious to think, as apparently no one did
circa 1969, that the person speaking numbers into
the black receiver might have had a knife to the throat.
But this was the Dominion of Canada, self-governing
nation of the Commonwealth, when dusk was dusk,
not the twilight of empire, and a call duly
disconnected the circuits until everyone was home
for the night, to be reset by the last to bed.
Then wind would start to roil the tallest
maples swamping the house, leaves brushing
even the third-floor panes before sighing
into place at dawn. And when daylight broke
and poured across the wide lawns, the Italian
gardeners were already there, eating bagged
breakfasts on the tailgates of their trucks, while
up and down the street, systems were silenced,
and men with their briefcases set forth.
by ninety-eight
I’d never seen him lie in the grass.
There was wrought iron furniture
with yellow sailcloth cushions to
put out every summer morning,
pack in before the evening dew.
He had successfully avoided grass,
despite the years of summer hours
devoted to lawn maintenance.
He always left the root of each weed:
they grew back fast as he pulled them.
He threw his cuttings in the firepit
where he also tossed plastics, glass,
aerosol cans, half-empty tins
of paint thinner and turpentine,
causing only small explosions.
For ninety-eight years, my father
was above grass. He owned things:
acres, hectares, complications.
He never wanted to be grass,
or simplified.
his certainty
In his ninth decade, my father left my mother for a more congenial
situation—an only slightly younger woman, who happened
to be a friend to them both. Everyone was supposed to be happy.
Happy as when my