Sabotage Books 1 2 and 3: Recognize Commitment Phobia and Experience a Healthy Relationship

SABOTAGE

BOOKS

1 2 3

JOHANNA SPARROW

Smashwords Edition

SABOTAGE Books 1,2 and 3 Copyright © 2019 Johanna Sparrow, Antoinette M Watkins

All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher: exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

www.johannasparrow.com

Edited by: Heather Pendley

Cover by: Mila

www.milagraphicartist.com

SABOTAGE I

Smashwords Edition

SABOTAGE, Revised Copyright © 2014-2017 Johanna Sparrow

All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher: exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

www.johannasparrow.com

Edited by: ASH THE EDITOR

www.ashtheeditor.biz

Cover by: Mila

www.milagraphicartist.com

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to my loyal readers. Thank you for your support. May this book bless everyone that reads it.

I Love You to Life!

CONTENTS

SABOTAGE I

Foreword I

Introduction I

Chapter One: Are You The One?

Chapter Two: Meet the Parents

Chapter Three: Debilitating Arguments

Chapter Four: The Blame Game

Chapter Five: The Importance of Trust

Chapter Six: Red Flags

Chapter Seven: The Lying Game

Chapter Eight: Physical Attraction

Chapter Nine: Money Faucet

Chapter Ten: Mixed Signals

Chapter Eleven: Can't Force commitment

Chapter Twelve: Think Twice About Remaining Friends

SABOTAGE II

Introduction II

Resistance

Listen

Stand Your Ground

Less Is More

Give’em What They Want

Place Them on Hold

Stay Focused

Distractions

You Make the Rules

Let Them Chase You

More Red Flags

Realizing It’s Over

Reinventing a New You

SABOTAGE III

Foreword III

Introduction III

Loving A Commitment-Phobe

The Commitment-Phobic Language

The Footprint of a Commitment-Phobe

Trusting the Commitment-Phobe

The Push and Pull

Don’t Force It

They Want Control

More Red Flags III

You Can’t Force Love

FOREWORD I

Many people have been devastated after a broken relationship with a commitment-phobe and become fearful of dating as a result. Are you dating someone who won’t commit to you? Do you question if it’s your fault that you’ve experienced several damaged relationships?

Failed relationships with commitment-phobes are partially your fault because something within your consciousness causes you to continually attract those type of partners. You must ask yourself why you’re constantly meeting people who’re afraid of commitment?

Dating and falling in love with a commitment phobic person can leave you angry and confused. Most people that’re in this type of dating cycle have no clue why they continue to end up in that predicament. Commitment-phobes aren’t bad people; they just have a tough time loving someone else.

Being in loving with a commitment-phobe can make a relationship very stressful. If you don’t want to be in the dark with your partner, you should open your eyes to the person you’re attempting to have a future with. Many commitment-phobes do get married, but their marriages are a living hell. Getting married doesn’t resolve their commitment fears. It only masks them.

The hearts of those who’re in relationships with commitment-phobes are full of pain and sorrow. It’s no fun living in a nightmare where you love someone more than they love you. A commitment-phobe knows exactly what to say to get what they want. They know how to say things to make you weak in the knees. They always seem to touch your heart by saying the right words at the right moment. You may find yourself caught up in emotion from the sad stories they’ve told you to gain your sympathy. They can sell you anything and would make perfect salespeople. Commitment phobic people may tell you that no one understands them more than you, and you believe them. You end up loving their sense of humor and wittiness.

Many commitment-phobes are secretive regarding their personal life, they don’t mind telling you their life stories because they’re covered in lies to win you over. While in a relationship with this type of person, nothing seems to be off limits. You talk about anything and have many things in common. It’s true that a commitment-phobe has had many of the same dating horrors as you. That’s why they fear commitment. But they may embellish on the details of their experiences to pull your heart strings.

In the beginning stages of the relationship, you’re amazed by their words, behaviors, and caring spirit. You want to tell the world about this new person, but it’s too soon. They may be too good to be true. If you want to know if the person you’re dating is genuine, asking the people that’re closest to you may help you accomplish that. Those who are looking from the outside without emotional involvement may be able to spot the true nature of your partner.

For the most part, family and friends won’t be bamboozled by a commitment-phobe’s sweet words and phony behaviors. Your family may be the last people on earth you want to share your personal business with. Especially if you feel that you’ve met someone special. You have the ability to see the truth, but you could be blinded because you only want to see how amazing, loving, caring, respectful, and trustworthy your partner is.

By the time you see what everyone else saw long ago, your heart is involved. At that point, you begin to recognize things about that person you didn’t previously notice. The relationship is no longer moving in a positive direction, and your lover is unsure if they want a commitment. The worse part about being in a relationship with a commitment-phobe is that you don’t get the feedback you want when you address their behavior, and you’re left in confusion. It’s never easy to be in a relationship with a commitment phobic partner because you’ll never receive the commitment you’re looking for.

Wouldn’t it be nice if people had descriptions of what they’re looking for in a relationship stamped on their forehead. Dating would be so much easier!

Commitment-phobes are innate liars, and you could fall apart while searching for the truth. Once you’ve experienced a someone that fears commitment, you’ll never be the same. You’ll be able to detect deceptiveness much better going forward. You may even put up a guard so that no one can ever lie or hurt you again. But be careful not to become commitment phobic yourself. Dating is never easy because you must learn to trust someone that you don’t know, and that can be pretty scary if you’ve been hurt a few times.

I’ll show you signs to look for when dating a commitment-phobe so you can stop being a victim in your relationship. I’ll teach you how to detect and understand the behaviors of a commitment-phobe, which’ll help you be a winner at the game of love.

INTRODUCTION I

My experiences in dealing with commitment-phobes that never commit despite trying to convince you that they will is what inspired me to write about this topic. Finding a person who understands you and vibes with you is what you’re looking for. Despite that, you continue to attract commitment-phobes.

What signals are you sending that catches the eye of people with commitment phobia? If you’ve found yourself in another relationship with someone who convinced you they wanted a relationship but later displayed the signs of having commitment issues, you must check yourself to see if you are radiating an energy that appeals to them.

Face it, sometimes we want love so urgently that we settle for someone just because they looked our way. Some people change relationships like they change underwear without understanding what they’re getting into. Are you more in love with the idea of being in love instead of actually finding a compatible person that’ll love you? Why do you keep trying to make relationships work with commitment-phobes? What’s the big rush on love?

Take your time when dating as to not rush into a relationship. That’ll prevent you from being filled with regret later. Someone that claims to love you should never lie, humiliate you, or intentionally cause you pain. If you’re not looking for a commitment, still approach dating with caution so that you don’t haphazardly become emotionally attached to a commitment-phobe.

I have friends that fell in love with commitment-phobes when a relationship was the last thing on their minds. They suffered hurt and found it hard to get out of a relationship that they weren’t looking for. You can imagine how much more heartbroken someone that’s actually looking for love would be. You can imagine how much harder it’d be to leave that relationship.

Commitment-phobes have no problem faking their feelings to persuade you to give them your heart. While in a relationship, their actions can be very dangerous. Your relationship with a commitment phobic partner is doomed from the start, but you may not realize it until the relationship is on its last leg; or until they’ve decided to leave. Commitment-phobes have no problem breaking hearts and causing chaos in your life. After you’ve seen past the charade, you’ll never forget that experience and you’ll never want it to happen again.

Most people overcome the pain of past relationships and move on. Commitment-phobes don’t. Their fear of heartbreak and abandonment keeps them from giving you the one thing you want—their heart.

Then, there’re functioning commitment-phobes that’ve mastered the art of going the extra mile by staying in a long-term relationship or getting married. These charades are in place to make you believe in them. Don’t be fooled because they’re still afraid of love and commitment. Long-term relationships and marriages with commitment phobic partners are plagued with more problems than other relationships because of irrational fear that clouds the commitment-phobe’s judgment. Due to this, they’ll never completely let you in.

You probably know what attributes you’re looking for in someone you want to commit to. But do you know what characteristics signify a commitment-phobe? As you search for someone to be an integral part of your life, be aware that at the same time, a commitment-phobe is also looking for someone they can deceive.

There were certainly several signs that your partner had a fear of commitment, but you missed or overlooked them because you wanted the relationship to work. Did they start unnecessary arguments? Did they you keep you in a state of confusion? Were your words twisted to make you look like the villain? Did you catch them in lies repeatedly? Did they ask you to abandon your friends or family for the sake of the relationship?

Those are some of the red flags that should’ve alerted you to your partner’s attempts at sabotaging the relationship. A commitment phobe is a relationship manipulator. They use your desire to settle down as a weapon to control you. I was a victim of relationship sabotaging tactics before I found my soulmate. Those experiences greatly confused me and forced me to take a break from dating. I didn’t blame myself, and you shouldn’t either. It’s a traumatizing experience to be fooled by someone who’s trying to avoid getting hurt by intentionally hurting you.

A commitment-phobe has a way of making you feel like they’re too good to be true—they are! Because I have two children (son and daughter) that’re in the dating world, one of my biggest fears is for them to encounter a commitment-phobe. My husband and I have prepared them by teaching them the behaviors and characteristics of those types of people.

When you begin to connect the lies like pieces of a puzzle, that’s when you know your relationship is over. The person you thought was the one for you isn’t who they claimed to be. You gave a large piece of yourself to them while they played with your emotions. You’re hurt and angry, but don’t let that break you. Move on, and you’ll find that special person when you least expect it.

You should learn the qualities you want your mate to possess. This’ll help you find a compatible mate and lead to happiness. No matter how good a person looks or how nice they are, always get to know them and make sure they’re values match yours.

Do you feel like you’re becoming a commitment-phobe because of the painful and unsuccessful relationships you’ve experienced? Anyone can become a commitment-phobe, but if you still desire to be in a committed relationship, you’re far from developing a commitment phobia. Commitment-phobes are unable to commit or be faithful in their relationships, and they have no desire to reverse that. Don’t believe that someone is safe to date just because they asked you out. Really get to know them before making any serious moves.

After reading Sabotage, I want you to walk away with the understanding that your goals and dreams should remain private until you’re ready to share them. Anyone who interrogates you in an imposing way for that information while on a date has ulterior motives. You may’ve fallen for someone that smooth-talked you before, but you can prevent it from happening again by knowing what to look for.

How can you tell if you’re dealing with a commitment-phobe? Continue reading and you’ll learn the characteristics and behaviors of some of the best imitators of love. If you’re ready to learn the truth about commitment phobic people and the tactics they use to make you fall in love with them, turn the page!

CHAPTER ONE

ARE YOU THE ONE?

How many times has someone told you that you’re the one they’ve been looking for their entire life? Like many people, you may’ve been told that multiple times. But what does it really mean?

Some of my friends and family experienced this before finding the person they’re currently married to. I’ve encountered this as well, and I caution you to be aware of people like that in the dating world. You’ll be able to feel their deceptive ways as soon as you become emotionally attached.

Don’t be fooled if someone tells you that you’re the one. We all want to find that special person to share our lives with, and people who make comments like that prey on your desire to get married. Strong relationships are built on love, respect, trust, and honesty. The key is finding someone that shares the same values, goals, and interests as you.

Visualize a scenario where you’re at the store and you see someone that you think is the man or woman of your dreams. You muster the courage to greet them and start a conversation, which is followed by an exchange of numbers. The first date is scheduled for that night because you’re both very eager to see each other again.

Make sure you pay close attention to everything that’s said during the first date because people tend to exclusively share the positive things about themselves in those circumstances. Don’t think for one second that everything you’re being told is the truth. Take everything with a grain of salt until proven true.

If you’re an honest person, understand that not everyone will be like you on the initial date. Some people have ulterior motives while dating, and it’s up to you to figure what those motives are. I’m not advising you to be paranoid, but I am suggesting that you be cautious.

Are you a hopeless romantic? Then you may look for love at first sight. Someone may have a host of attributes or characteristics that can deceive you into thinking you’ve found love during the first meeting; you may have several things in common, shared experiences, or you may like their style of dress and mannerisms. But during the first date, make sure you’re not the only one talking. This is important because volunteering too much information about yourself gives a commitment-phobe ammunition for deception and leverage to plan their next move.

A commitment-phobe’s aim is to study and get as much information about you so they can later impress you by pretending to relate to or be interested in things you’ve shared. You’re allowing yourself to be studied and later manipulated when you over-talk on a first date.

How necessary is it to share trivial details with your date? It’s not at all necessary, but it can be detrimental. The more you talk about things you love, the more they’ll use those things to win you over. After the commitment-phobe has impressed you and won you over, they’ll then sabotage the relationship and make you their next victim.

After studying commitment-phobes, I’ve learned that they don’t trust anyone. But the information you feed them gives them the confidence and ability to win your trust; even though they don’t deserve it. If you limit your speech and ask them to share about themselves, they’ll be at a loss for words. That’s because they don’t trust anyone enough to share details about themselves. You may be thinking that what I’ve described doesn’t pertain to you, but evaluate if you did most of the talking on your first date? If the answer is yes, then you may be a target for deception.

Whether it’s the first date or the eighteenth date, a commitment phobic person listens for key words to quickly guide them toward getting what they want from you. After they get what they want, they’ll be emotionally out the door; and eventually, physically out the door.

Many people who’re in relationships still struggle with commitment issues. Commitment issues aren’t exclusive to people who’re only dating or single. To the contrary! And if you share up front how loyal and trusting you’d be in a relationship, a commitment-phobe will use that to manipulate you. They’ll use that information to do whatever they want in the relationship as they lie their way into your heart.

A commitment-phobe will toy with your heart strings once they know your issues and what you have a strong emotional attachment to. They’ll know just what to say to make you forget about their mistakes. They’ll make you laugh at the right moment, and they’ll be sweet enough to constantly put you at a loss for words. At times, you’ll feel this person is too good to be true because of how well they listen to you and show concern.

Have you been caught up in the rapture of love because of how your dating partner makes you feel? Are you allowing yourself to be blinded to the reality of that person’s nature and intentions? Wake up and make yourself aware of the truth, which’ll become obvious once you remove your rose-colored glasses.

Why did you give your heart away so quickly? Why do they know so much