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    May I Cut In?
    May I Cut In?
    May I Cut In?
    Ebook37 pages30 minutes

    May I Cut In?

    By J.T. Evergreen

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Every once in a while something unexpected happens and life changes forever. I’m on the threshold of turning 30. So far, nothing unexpected has happened in my life. It’s been routine with moments of mind-numbing boredom. Then I went dancing with friends at the Aragon Ballroom. Marge and I were foxtrotting across the dance floor
    when Kismet taped me on the shoulder and asked, "May I Cut In?"

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJ.T. Evergreen
    Release dateFeb 7, 2019
    ISBN9780463947500
    May I Cut In?
    Author

    J.T. Evergreen

    OCCUPATION - Retired from the grind. Reflecting on successes, failures, and regrets. Exploring new aspects of self, writing that book which will get me an Oscar, staying out of trouble - well, small amounts of trouble are ok. Bringing joy into people's lives with random acts of kindness - the ones who aren't expecting it are the best. Cheering up check-out clerks at WalMart.ABOUT ME - Alone in blessed singleness. Wicked sense of humor, enjoy my own company, glad I'm not young any longer. I do miss the intimacy of being in love. A good catch . . . at least I think so. Enjoy the possibilities of every moment, an imagination that won't quite, a master weaver - give away everything I make, excellent portrait painter, a national treasure - though no one agrees with me, a good listener, intuitive, a good conversationalist, avoid boredom and boring people at all costs - that's a career all by itself.INTERESTS - Intelligent conversation: hard to come by these days, metaphysics, mysticism, my pups - Charlie, Max, and Bailey, seeing the funny side of life, going to Macy's at Christmas time - kicking Santa and punching an Elf. If I had a singing voice, which I don't, I would sing all of the time, wherever I was - even in WalMart. Wouldn't that be enchanting? When I receive the Oscar for the book I'm writing, I will have some baritone sing On A Clear Day, and I will lip sync his voice. It will wow the audience.PUBLICATIONS – Short Stories to celebrate the NEW YEAR - 23 delightful short stories; Alone at the Beach 25 short stories to keep you company, Home Alone, 8 Great Stories to keep you company, Born in the Twilight, Injun Summer, This’nThat, Short Stories for a Summer’s Day. Holiday Short Stories, With All My Love, Father Frederick Monahan, Shangri la, Stepping Stones to God, I’m Gay Mother – Get Over it, The Olde Book Shoppe, Naked Before God, The Italian Call Boy, The Silence of Healing, Death of a Pope, The Best Short Stories Ever, and My Love Affair with Father Tomas McTavish, working on a new character, Father Gibbon with Sister Mary Magda in TheAdventure of Father Gibbon with Sister M. Magda - it's about murder. I get choked up when I re-read some of my sentimental stories. I’m told that’s a sign of being a good writer.LOVES - Color and lots of it, strawberry jam, hiking up Yosemite Falls, Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, sourdough bread, only made in San Francisco. Hearst Castle, Big Sur, sea air, Adams peanut butter, chocolate milk, rainy days, canaries singing, chocolate chip cookies my mother made, Greek yogurt with honey - oh, yum. Laughter. I make it a point of doing this many times a day.HATES - Stupidity, insensitivity, bad table manners - come on, how difficult is it to hold a fork properly - it's not a shovel for God's sake. Snow, ice, slush, freeway traffic, lima beans - what was God thinking, sleepless nights, people who are late, texting - it's a cop-out, tobacco, alcohol, red meat,FAVORITE BOOKS - The Spiritual Journey of Joel S. Goldsmith, How to Win Friends and Influence People - I collect this book and give them to people I hate - there's a waiting list.FAVORITE MUSIC – Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals – Gilda Radner - funny lady;; Joplin’s Peachrine, Ahmad Jamal - Country Tour - the absolute best jazz - never tire of it. Someone Waits for You – Carly Simons, Helen Kane singing Button Up Your Overcoat and I Want to Be Bad – I relate to the lyrics. And the Tenor who sang Springtime for Hitler in the Zero Mostel version of The Producers. No one seems to know who he is. What a voice.FAVORITE FILMS – The Celluloid Closet, Witness for the Prosecution, It Could Happen to You, Maltese Falcon, Inherit the Wind, 12 Angry Men, Harold and Maude, Murder on the Orient Express, Hope and Glory, Sorry Wrong Number, Speed, Practical Magic, Apollo 13, Where the Red Fern Grows, The original Producers - touch me, hold me - Estelle was terrific, and Zero - what can I say.FAVORITE TV SHOWS - I don't watch TV any more, but when I did . . . 2-1/2 men - when it was good. Everybody loves Raymond - some great writers; best sight gagsFAVORITE QUOTES – The poetry in writing is the illusion it creates: by me. Lord Chesterfield: “Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.” The saddest words of tongue or pen are these - It might have been - indeed they are. If you want to make a success out of old age, you better start now: my mother when I was 15. On a clear day, you really can see forever - you just have to look. I may be rancid butter, but I'm on your side of the bread. Inherit the Wind.FAMILY – A father who was emotionally absent, a mother who provided all the necessities of life and nothing more. An older brother who is a classic socio-psychopath and made my childhood a misery. I hide from everything just to survive. My right of passage came when I was 18 and joined the Naval Air Reserves. In boot camp I hide in the back row the first day, and guess whose name they called to be the Company Commander – me. But it was the best thing that could have happened and I bless that moment. I had to lead those 50 plus men and boys for 90 days. The night of graduation we drilled in front of the audience and it was perfect. The guys carried me from the hangar in triumph. I came out of the shadows that summer and never went back. I'm a louse when it comes to cleaning house, too many other more enjoyable things to do.“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor WitShall lure it back to cancel half a Line,Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”Omar Khayyam

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      Book preview

      May I Cut In? - J.T. Evergreen

      Acknowledgements

      Many thanks to Khris Lawrentz for his tireless proofreading.

      Adrift

      Every once in a while something unexpected happens and life changes.

      My name is Paul-Michel Bellarose. I’m a foundling, lovingly adopted by Morty and Giselle Kline.

      I’m on the threshold of turning 30. So far, nothing unexpected has happened in my life. It’s been routine with moments of mind-numbing boredom. But I manage, living vicariously through the characters I dream up for the stories I write which no one reads. At the moment, I’m working my way through an attack of writer’s block. My muses have stopped speaking to me which only aggravates my loneliness.

      I make my living editing the writings of more successful writers. I guard against the ever-present temptation to plagiarize knowingly or unknowingly from the writings of others.

      My mother, Giselle, phoned and noticed I was in the dumps. She brought some of her homemade chicken soup to my apartment.

      Mom, I’m not sick.

      I know, but this will help.

      Help what?

      Help cheer you up.

      What makes you think I need cheering up?

      I’m your mother, remember?

      As usual, she was right. Chicken soup was her answer to everything. A battleship could have been floated on the chicken soup she has made over her lifetime. But it’s good soup. So, I sat down at the kitchen table for the comfort of her soup, and conversation with this woman I adored. She’s Jewish but not the typical pushy mother who uses guilt to get her way. She’s always cheerful, a little less since Morty passed, but she’s still a happy mensch.

      Her fireman brother, Saul, called her the evening I was dropped off at the fire station by people who did not want me. They tell me I could not have been more than a few days old. Mom had miscarried and was lactating. I was hungry and she was eager so, it was a perfect match from the moment she took me into her arms and my lips found her soft, warm breast. Mothers fall in love with their babies. This baby fell in love with its mother and never quite got over it.

      When Child Services discovered Mom was a pediatric nurse they let her keep me while adoption papers were processed. I was 15 years old when she and Morty sat me down with the news of my origin. I was surprised, but the information did not affect me in the way they

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