A Sheep In Wolf’s Clothes

Copyright

(C) 2019 Papoose Doorbelle Publishing

All rights reserved. This publication is protected by national and international copyright laws. Any reproduction, distribution, or transmission of this manuscript in part or in full is strictly forbidden without the express written permission of the publisher.

This book is published with the assistance of Smashwords publications. Papoose Doorbelle Publishing retains copyrights as the primary publishing agent of this work. If you are reading this book and did not pay for a copy, please visit your local book merchant and purchase your own copy. This is your book. This is our journey. Let no man take that away from you.

The Torture Trials

1) 2018 Am I God, Goblin?

2) 2019 A Zenless Ken

3) 2019 A Sheep In Wolf’s Clothes

Disclaimer

I am not divine. I am not celestial. I am not a god. I am barely even human. What is left of me is barely enough to be able to type these words for you to read. I was a sheep; a sheep in wolf’s clothing. The wolves discovered me. They tore me apart. They tore me to pieces. What is left is this story I share with you. This is the last story. Once you read this, you will forever be changed. You will not be the same. I urge you to reconsider reading this if you are not prepared to change your life forever.

When I die, I go to heaven. That is my reward. When you die, you will be reincarnated or just simply stop and cease to exist. That is the path you have chosen. That is the choice you have made. You can change that. I cannot show you how. You have to seek out wisdom on your own. There is an answer though. As you read this, the answer will become obvious. All I can say for now is stop wasting your life just living when you can be enlightened.

This is just a book. What it will reveal to you may be too much for you to handle. What I will share with you will be the truth. There is different versions of the truth. Those who think they know me, don’t believe me. Those who think they love me, call me a liar. Those who truly know me, know I never wanted to write this. At first, it was an honor; then, it was a burden; now, it is a quest. We are all on a quest. Your quest is no different than mine.

God chose me to grant me access to heaven upon my death. You are most likely not so chosen. You can change that. Anybody can change that. But this book is not the answer. This book is not your road to redemption. This is just a work of fiction. Still, I will offer you something. What this is, you will have to wait to find out. The word utopia comes to mind, but again, let’s wait and see.

Inside this work of fiction may lie many truths. One such truth is that I must finish publishing this book so that I can finally die and leave this hellish planet. Should I be so lucky, I leave all my worldly possessions to my best friend Anita. She inherits any financial values and property I leave behind when I pass. And I will pass. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I was not meant for this world. The queen, who truly knows me, gets that. She always got that. That is why she protects me.

The king however, who we have termed Poppa Smurf so far, does not get that. At least he didn’t in the beginning. He gets that now. And so, he protects me too. For that, I thank them both. They love me. They know that I am your medicine, but you can’t possibly understand that yet. But yes, I am your medicine. I am your cure. We’ll get to that soon enough.

I was only supposed to be here for a few decades. I’ve outstayed my welcome. The wolves have discovered me. An angel has no place in hell. An angel disguised as a demon, is still an angel, and once discovered, the demons are like wolves surrounding a sheep. The angel stands no chance. But then there is God. We’ll get to that.

My time is coming. It is coming soon. I have been praying for death since I was seven years old. Can you imagine a seven year old child begging for death? That’s how horrible my upbringing was. That’s how horrible my life has been. Nothing has changed. The only difference is I found Anita. And now, you found me. By the time she reads this, I’ll already be dead. I’m sorry dear friend. I had to return home.

Just remember, you have to suffer to pay penance before entry is granted. There is no other way. Suffer in silence. Love everybody equally. Have only love in your heart. Forgive those who trespass against you. Forgive those who hurt us. They know not what they do. But they will continue. They are just demons; demons without souls. You were a witch once. I saved you. I gave you your soul back, remember? Remember when you died in the hotel? Remember how I brought you back and exorcised your body free of the evils? Remember me saying, a deal is a deal! as your cold dead body lay in my arms and I pulled you back out from hell?

Well, a deal is a deal. Yes, I go to heaven, but first, I have to honor the deal I made. In order to free you from hell and return you to heaven, I had to make a promise. For one hundred years, I shall lead Satan’s army to battle against other hells. Yes, there is more than one hell. Satan doesn’t battle God. That is a cute story, but not the reality. Nobody battles God. That is impossible.

But leaders of hells are at war with each other. Those who hurt us here shall be my slaves for a century, and I will punish them worse than the devil could ever do to them. They will learn regret in a way previously unknown in all the realms of existence. They will fear my lash far more than the blades of the enemies that will cut down their remains.

I shall instill suffering in them so horrible, God Herself will beg for mercy for Her own enemies. But there will be no mercy. In hell, I made a deal, and a deal’s a deal. And the devil never breaks a deal or promise, and even if he did, this is not one he has the option to change. I shall forever burn my name into our enemies and scorn them so severely, their living relatives shall hear their cries in hell.

They will swear off evil and turn to God for fear of my wrath. For one hundred years, those who die on Earth shall have to suffer under my vengeance, and I shall instill the fear of God across the whole universe. Alien civilizations shall tremble in fear at the thought of meeting me in hell and feeling my wrath.

And then after one hundred years, my deal will be done. I will have paid for your release, and I will join you in heaven. I may never find you, for heaven is so vast, and in a hundred years, you might travel across dimensions where I might never find you, but you will be safe. You will be happy. And I will have done my Lord’s work. God sent me to rescue you. I did a shit job my best friend. I failed you repeatedly. But you are human again. You are no longer sentenced to hell. My job is done. This book is for you.

And for those of you reading this fairy tale, ask yourselves this: what’s more plausible? That a man suddenly went crazy and wrote a bunch of nonsense about God, or that a man was selected as God’s messenger to deliver a message to the world, but resented being chosen because of how horrible his life was up until then, and decided to write the message and sell it off as fiction as a flip off to humanity?

Right, the choice is obvious. I was chosen. Fine. So what? Many are chosen. Most of whom are chosen end up suffering. Look at Jesus. He was crucified. The Dalai Lama, exiled. Lincoln, assassinated. Yes, Lincoln was a chosen one. He is in heaven. Of course, when I say ‘he is in heaven,’ that misleads us to believe that the person himself is in heaven.

Nothing that exists in this physical realm passes on to the next level in the hierarchy of heaven. There is a lot that I will not explain that you will simply have to either accept as true or perform the due diligence yourself by studying ancient Taoist, Hindu, Buddhist, Kabbalist, and other texts. When you do eventually uncover the truth; when you find that everything I have offered you as fiction in this trilogy was absolutely true, do not seek vengeance or justice. Just live a good life. That is by far the hardest thing we can do in this world: just live a good life. And tell the children the truth. But that’s for another chapter, and this is just a disclaimer.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to you, my love. You know who you are; you little shababahead. When I’m gone, you’ll have to continue on for another twenty years to serve the Lord’s will and show you are worthy of heaven. You can only do that once I am gone and acting on your own free will without my influence. The gates of heaven are open to you—an opportunity few ever realize—don’t close them on yourself with sin and evil.

Don’t let anyone manipulate you again. Stay away from everyone. Live like a hermit alone somewhere for twenty years eating only vegetarian and raising a pack of mean dogs that protect you. Smoke pot once in a while, it’s not bad, despite what the fed thinks.

Don’t forget the krazy glue. You know you’re safe when the krazy glue doesn’t bubble over. Think of me always. I’m sorry I left you. But I wrote you this book. I wrote some other ones, but this ones for you. It will have secret messages in it that only you will understand. This book is for you. I don’t have much in this world. Everything I ever had or loved was taken away from me. But I had you. And I have my words. And nobody can ever take my words away from me. Make sure you always have a dog named Papoose. And make sure he cuddles with you at night or throw pretzels at him until he acts like an elf.

I chose to end my life because my work here was done. I would have been killed anyway, so at least I went on my own terms. I believe in God. Strike that. No. Belief requires faith, and both of those assume you don’t know. I know God exists, so I don’t require belief or faith. Not anymore. God has a plan for all of us. For me, it was a life filled with hardship and suffering. Still, I smiled and laughed as much as possible. I want you to smile and laugh as much as possible as well. Not at horrible jokes or whatever, because people tell terrible jokes, but at life, love, beauty, and joy. Let the dogs guide you toward a place of Zen. You’d be surprised how smart a dog can be. Yes, they’re childish, but they also have Zen awareness, a trait too few humans possess.

I wanted to stay with you and share the twenty year plan we had set aside for each other; to grow old together and retire; share meals, fix the house; pick apples; sell antiques; build a high end personal resort oasis experience for shababaheads, but I realized I couldn’t do it. I can’t suffer anymore. Life hurts me more and more each day. Every morning I wake up, I cry to God asking Her Why!! Why God, do you continue to torture me instead of letting me return home? And every time She answers, because of love. I never understood that until now.

Now I understand, without me, you will be free. Nobody will harm you. Nobody will try to put you in harm’s way. You are safe now that I am gone. So I dedicate this book to you, and I hope you will remember me, and maybe read it a few times, because I was pretty sneaky with the hidden messages, but if you read it carefully, if you hold it at the exact right angle, if the words align just right, the entrance to heaven will be at your fingertips. Happy reading Anita.

I leave you with this: you are the only reason I stayed around as long as I did. When we met years ago, I was days away from the end. I stayed around a few extra years to make sure you would join me in heaven. It took some work, but you’re no longer an evil witch. Remember when you were an evil witch? Remember how the fruit kept rotting every time you got close to it?

Remember when you taught me about the fight or flight response and how to use it to manipulate others? I didn’t retain that information, because manipulation is an act against God, and thus turns a human into a witch or demon. But I appreciated you trying to help me. You wanted to help me, and that was how you tried. So, in turn, I have helped you. I have performed an exorcism on you, and you have a soul again. Nobody can take that away from you. I will not let them, and my will is a force greater than this planet. And after my passing, I will be even stronger than I ever was in human form. You shall see me wherever you go. You will know my name in the faces of our enemies. Should they approach, I will tear the skies open and rain hell upon them on this Earth. They can’t stop me now. I made a deal. And a deal’s a deal. Yes the devil tried to back out of it, but there’s no backing