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    Navigating Negativity: Practical Parenting Strategies to Reduce Conflict and Create Calm
    Navigating Negativity: Practical Parenting Strategies to Reduce Conflict and Create Calm
    Navigating Negativity: Practical Parenting Strategies to Reduce Conflict and Create Calm
    Ebook100 pages1 hour

    Navigating Negativity: Practical Parenting Strategies to Reduce Conflict and Create Calm

    By Susan Van Scoyoc

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    About this ebook

    Does your child find something wrong with just about everything? Are simple requests to do chores or homework met with meltdowns? Have you run out of ideas for cheering on your rigid perfectionist? If your child's negativity is wreaking havoc in your home, Dr. Susan Van Scoyoc is ready to help! She is a parent and board-certified child psychologist with over 20 years of experience helping overwhelmed parents discover solutions for negativity. In this book, she expertly applies the most compelling research on self-regulation to the realities of today's parenting, helping you and your family embrace an optimistic new beginning. Discover practical, positive parenting strategies that transform your household from frustrated to flexible. No kid cooperation required!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateSep 23, 2018
    ISBN9781543943306
    Navigating Negativity: Practical Parenting Strategies to Reduce Conflict and Create Calm

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      Book preview

      Navigating Negativity - Susan Van Scoyoc

      Navigating Negativity: Practical Parenting Strategies to Reduce Conflict and Create Calm

      Copyright © 2018 by Susan M. Van Scoyoc

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Susan M. Van Scoyoc.

      Print ISBN 978-1-54394-329-0

      eBook ISBN 978-1-54394-330-6

      Printed in the United States

      First Printing, 2018

      Editor: Kindree Mieling

      For more information, please contact Dr. Van Scoyoc at

      docV@thetalkingdoc.com or visit her website at www.thetalkingdoc.com

      All identifying details have been changed to protect confidentiality. This book is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered, and every effort has been made to ensure that it is correct and complete. The author, however, is not engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. This book is not intended as a substitute for professional advice from a trained therapist or similar professional. If you have concerns about your child, please seek the services of a health care professional.

      For Chad who supports my dreams

      For Lilah and Jack who inspire me to be my best every day

      For all negative kids who need to be understood

      Contents

      Introduction:

      Why Your Negative Child Needs Your Help

      Chapter 1:

      Why Is My Child So Negative?

      3 Key Facts For Understanding Your Negative Thinker

      Chapter 2:

      How to Reach and Teach Your Negative Thinker

      Chapter 3:

      Parent Confidently When Negativity Is In Charge

      Chapter 4:

      Parenting for Every Other Minute of the Day:

      Your Most Powerful Strategies for Creating Calm

      Chapter 5:

      FAQ About Negativity

      Introduction:

      Why Your Negative Child Needs Your Help

      My drawing is so bad. I can’t make it look right ever!

      — Katherine, age 4

      "We never go the places I want to go!

      — Adam, age 7

      I hate soccer; no one ever passes me the ball!

      — Chris, age 9

      My friends don’t want me around. They never laugh at my jokes. I’m just not funny.

      — Sarah, age 12

      It doesn’t matter how much I study; I never do well on my math tests. I’ll never get into college!

      — Jessie, age 16

      Why can’t we go to Joe’s Pizza, this new place is probably going to be gross!

      — Diego, age 10

      The Problem with Negativity

      You chose this book because you are worried about your child’s negativity...worried and frustrated and scared and angry and guilty and most other scary parent emotions that come to mind. You want to confidently navigate the road to happiness for your child but find yourself without the words or the patience to clear the trail.

      Your negative kid seems to:

      Despite your best efforts to be positive, to explain why things aren’t so bad, or to punish that bad attitude out of your child, you do not see much progress towards positivity. Your child is NOT growing out of negativity. In fact, grumbling seems to have become an instant response for just about everything! With all of that practice focusing on what is wrong, even when your child is trying to look on the bright side, negativity has become the brain’s default reply. It is as if the good parts of life just do not register. You and your child are exhausted from such a grumpy, bumpy ride!

      The problem with negativity (and why you need to help) is that it impacts every aspect of a child’s life. You may notice struggles related to:

      When you think of how your negative child operates in this world, the risk for these problems probably does not surprise you. The downward spiral created by negativity and the resulting lack of confidence and social support can set the stage for mental health problems. In fact, negative thinking is known to be related to depression. Negative thinkers view obstacles as unchangeable and inescapable, and often their fault — quite a roadmap for feeling helpless and out of ideas for success. Just think about how many times your child seems stuck when solving an everyday problem like making a choice, or perhaps uses the words always or never to communicate how permanent even small troubles feel!

      Negativity might also be anxiety in disguise, as rigidity and complaining often mask the fear of failure or trying something new. If your child puts up a big enough fuss about tasting a new food or visiting an unfamiliar place, you might just give up to avoid the conflict. Anxiety wins and reinforces the idea that complaining works. As chronically negative kids get older, they can also lose social support from friends and family because their difficult-to-please attitudes, as you know, can be overwhelming to others. So what is the result of fewer new experiences due to anxiety or social rejection? Kids with negativity can often get written out of the social stories their friends are creating as they move on without your child.

      For all of these reasons — self-esteem, coping skills, family relationships, friendships, new adventures, and mental health — the time to help your child with negativity is now.

      What Can You Do To Help?

      If you want to guide your negative-by-nature child, there are a few things you need to know and

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