Soliloquy!: The Shakespeare Monologues

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ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

Parolles

Act 1, Scene 1. Roussillon (France). Bertram’s palace. Helena, a chaste gentlewoman, asks the braggart Captain Parolles, a confidant of her love, Bertram, why men are such enemies of virginity and how women can guard against their assault. Parolles answers with this discourse.

[HELENA

Bless our poor virginity from underminers and blowers-up. Is there no military policy° how virgins might blow up men?]

PAROLLES

Virginity being blown down, man will quicklier be blown up.° Marry, in blowing him down again, with the breach° yourselves made, you lose your city.° It is not politic° in the commonwealth of nature to preserve virginity. Loss of virginity is rational increase,° and there was never virgin got° till virginity was first lost. That° you were made of is mettle° to make virgins. Virginity, by being once lost, may be ten times found;° by being ever kept, it is ever lost. ’Tis too cold° a companion; away with’t!

[HELENA

I will stand for’t° a little, though therefore I die a virgin.]

PAROLLES

There’s little can be said in’t. ‘Tis against the rule of nature. To speak on the part° of virginity is to accuse your mothers,° which is most infallible° disobedience. He that hangs himself is a virgin:° virginity murders itself, and should be buried in highways, out of all sanctified limit, as a desperate offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites,° much like a cheese; consumes itself to the very paring, and so dies with feeding his own stomach. Besides, virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of self-love—which is the most inhibited sin in the canon.° Keep° it not, you cannot choose but lose by’t. Out with’t! Within t’one year it will make itself two, which is a goodly increase, and the principal itself not much the worse. Away with’t!

[HELENA

How might one do, sir, to lose it to her own liking?]

PAROLLES

[Let me see. Marry, ill, to like him that ne‘er it likes.] ’Tis a commodity° will lose the gloss with lying:° the longer kept, the less worth. Off with’t while ‘tis vendible.° Answer the time of request. Virginity, like an old courtier, wears her cap out of fashion, richly suited but unsuitable, just like the brooch and the toothpick,° which wear not now. Your date° is better in your pie and your porridge than in your cheek, and your virginity, your old virginity, is like one of our French withered pears: it looks ill, it eats drily, marry, ’tis a withered pear—it was formerly better, marry, yet ’tis a withered pear. Will you anything with it?°

120 policy/strategy 122-123 blown down...blown up/sexual puns, i.e., conquered by an erection 124 breach/i.e., pudendum 125 city/i.e., maidenhood politic/expedient 127 increase/i.e., pregnancy 128 got/ begot with child That/that which 129 mettle/substance or semen 130 found/i.e., in sex or children 131 cold/frigid 133 stand for’t/defend it 136 part/side 137 accuse...mothers/i.e., since they have lost their virginity infallible/certain 138 He...virgin/i.e., the virgin and suicide are the same 141 mites/insects that carry disease 146 canon/sacred law Keep/hoard 152 commodity/valued goods 153 lying/sexual pleasure 154 vendible/ salable 157 brooch...tooth pick/both items now out of fashion 158 date/ the fruit or age 163 Will...it?/Will you have anything to do with it?

Commentary: Parolles’s name means words (French paroles), and he is full of them. He is a boisterous, lying swaggerer; somewhat akin to Sir John Falstaff. His didactic, three-part monologue is full of blatant male presumptions, sexual puns and outrageous sophistry (false arguments). Parolles loves the off-color remark (e.g., He wears his honor in a box unseen/That hugs his kicky-wicky here at home), relishing this chance to be lewd in front of a woman. Yet his comic language reveals a rapacious intent. Parolles is out to murder virginity and not just conquer it wittily and gallantly. Barring that, he would treat virginity as an object to be bought and sold and, finally, as a withered pear: a hideous image that chimes nicely with his often repeated with’t!

ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA

Enobarbus

Act 2, Scene 2. Rome. The house of Lepidus. The soldier Enobarbus, a close friend of Antony, gives this vivid account of the Egyptian Queen Cleopatra. He is describing her rareness to Agrippa and Maecenas, friends of Caesar. Their reactions push Enobarbus on.

ENOBARBUS

The barge she sat in, like a burnished° throne

Burned on the water. The poop° was beaten gold;

Purple the sails, and so perfumèd that

The winds were love-sick with them. The oars° were silver,

Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke, and made

The water which they beat to follow faster,

As amorous of their strokes. For her own person,

It beggared all description. She did lie

In her pavilion—cloth of gold, of tissue—

O’er-picturing° that Venus where we see

The fancy outwork nature. On each side her

Stood pretty dimpled boys,° like smiling Cupids,

With divers-colored fans whose wind did seem

To glow the delicate cheeks which they did cool,

And what they undid did.

[AGRIPPA

O, rare for Antony!]

ENOBARBUS

Her gentlewomen, like the Nereides,°

So many mermaids, tended her i‘th’ eyes,°

And made their bends adornings.° At the helm°

A seeming mermaid steers. The silken tackle°

Swell with the touches of those flower-soft hands

That yarely frame the office.° From the barge

A strange invisible perfume hits the sense

Of the adjacent wharfs. The city cast°

Her people out upon her, and Antony,

Enthroned i‘th’ market-place, did sit alone,°

Whistling to th’air, which but for vacancy°

Had gone to gaze on Cleopatra too,

And made a gap in nature.°

[AGRIPPA

Rare Egyptian!]

ENOBARBUS

Upon her landing Antony sent to her,

Invited her to supper. She replied

It should be better he became her guest;

Which she entreated. Our courteous Antony,

Whom ne’er the word of No woman heard speak,

Being barbered° ten times o’er, goes to the feast,

And for his ordinary° pays his heart

For what his eyes eat only.

[AGRIPPA

Royal wench!

She made great Caesar lay his sword to bed.

He ploughed° her, and she cropped.°]

ENOBARBUS

I saw her once

Hop forty paces through the public street,

And having lost her breath, she spoke and panted,

That she did make defect perfection,

And breathless, pour breath forth.

[MAECENAS

Now Antony

Must leave her utterly.

ENOBARBUS

Never. He will not.]

Age cannot wither° her, nor custom° stale

Her infinite variety. Other women cloy°

The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry

Where most she satisfies. For vilest° things

Become° themselves in her, that the holy priests

Bless her when she is riggish.°

198 burnished/shiny, lustrous 199 poop/stern of a ship; (colloq., female genitals; infect with venereal disease) 201 oars/sexual pun when used with flutes kept stroke, beat and amorous 207 O’er-picturing/more artfully rendered than a painting of Venus 209 boys/(possible theatrical pun on the fact that boys played women’s roles; e.g., Cleopatra) 213 Nereides/sea nymphs 214 tended...eyes/stood within eyesight 215 bends adornings/bows and looks added to the grace and beauty of the scene 215 helm/steerage 216 tackle/rigging 218 yarely...office/nimbly perform (perhaps a sexual pun with tackle") 220 city cast/i.e., like a net 222 alone/(a strong contrast to Cleopatra’s state) 223 but...vacancy/ because he was unoccupied 225 And...nature/i.e., was knocked-out by what he saw 231 barbered/groomed 232 ordinary/meal, i.e., expecting just dinner he loses his heart 234 ploughed...cropped/sexual acts 241 wither/dry up her potency custom/habit, sexual intercourse 242 cloy/ satiate, sexually gratify 244 vilest/basest 245 Become/are adorned 246 riggish/wanton

Commentary: This panegyric (elaborate eulogy) by Enobarbus is one of the great descriptive passages in Shakespeare. Every actor adds his own touches to its delivery. The speech is full of sensuous details: a relish for words, colors and images that convey sight, sound, smell and touch. The vividness of his account is almost cinematic. Lines 205-212 capture Cleopatra in her boudoir-like stage setting where she is likened to Venus. Such classical and painterly allusions are scattered throughout the speech. Agrippa’s ecstatic reactions break-up the speech into parts, allowing the actor playing Enobarbus to rest and take the speech in a new direction. Each time the subject of the speech changes, Cleopatra is transformed into something new: a sea goddess, a temptress, etc. The speech is full of sexual puns and asides. Now back in Rome, telling this speech to male dinner companions, Enobarbus obviously wants to flesh-out his tale with as much exotic and erotic detail as possible. The final part of the speech extolls Cleopatra’s seductive charms and powers; the very elements that will be Antony’s undoing. Cleopatra emerges as a force indomitable and immortal.

ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA

Antony

Act 4, Scene 13. A battlefield near Alexandria. His army already defeated on land, Antony’s fleet has just been crushed at sea through Egyptian treachery. Antony witnesses the whole scene from shore and enters with this angry, humiliating report.

ANTONY

All is lost.

This foul Egyptian hath betrayèd me.

My fleet hath yielded to the foe, and yonder

They cast their caps up, and carouse together

Like friends long lost. Triple-turned whore!° ’Tis thou

Hast sold me to this novice,° and my heart

Makes only wars on thee. Bid them all fly;

For when I am revenged upon my charm,°

I have done all. Bid they all fly. Be gone.

(Exits Scarus)

O sun, thy uprise shall I see no more.

Fortune and Antony part here; even here

Do we shake hands. All come to this? The hearts

That spanieled me at heels,° to whom I gave

Their wishes, do discandy,° melt their sweets

On blossoming Caesar; and this pine is barked°

That overtopped them all. Betrayed I am.

O this false soul of Egypt! This grave charm,

Whose eye becked forth my wars and called them home,

Whose bosom was my crownet, my chief end,

Like a right gipsy hath at fast and loose

Beguiled me to the very heart of loss.

What, Eros, Eros!

(Enter Cleopatra)

Ah, thou spell! Avaunt.

[CLEOPATRA

Why is my lord enraged against his love?]

ANTONY

Vanish, or I shall give thee thy deserving

And blemish Caesar’s triumph. Let him take thee

And hoist thee up to the shouting plebeians;

Follow his chariot, like the greatest spot°

Of all thy sex; most monster-like be shown

For poor’st diminutives, for dolts,° and let

Patient Octavia° plough thy visage up°

With her preparèd nails.

(Exit Cleopatra)

‘Tis well thou’rt gone,

If it be well to live. But better ’twere

Thou fell’st into my fury, for one death

Might have prevented many. Eros, ho!

The shirt of Nessus° is upon me. Teach me,

Alcides, thou mine ancestor, thy rage.

Let me lodge Lichas on the horns o‘th’ moon,

And with those hands that grasped the heaviest club

Subdue my worthiest self. The witch shall die.

To the young Roman boy° she hath sold me, and I fall

Under this plot. She dies for’t. Eros,° ho!

13 Triple-turned whore/thrice faithless to former lovers: Caesar, Pompey, now Antony 14 novice/young Octavius Caesar 16 charm/person who casts spells 21 spanieled...heels/followed like dogs 22 discandy/ dissolve 23 barked/stripped of bark (also pun with spanieled) 35 spot/blemish, disgrace 37 diminutives...dolts/lowest common persons or coins 38 Octavia/Antony’s wife back in Rome plough...up/scratch your face 43 shirt of Nessus/myth., bloody shirt which meant protection but caused violent pain 48 Roman boy/Octavius Caesar 49 Eros/Antony’s servant

Commentary: The themes of Antony’s laments and curses are the supposed betrayal of Cleopatra and the ingratitude of his own men. At this point in the play his fortunes plummet: Fortune and Antony part here (line 19). Having lost command of the battle and his own forces, he has lost himself; a thought that will preoccupy him for the rest of the play and hasten his suicide. Cleopatra, Queen and lover, is transformed in Antony’s speech to whore, gipsy, spell and monster-like witch. Full of exclamations, Antony’s rage is on full display. A soldier long before he became a lover, Antony’s bluntness and power return at this key moment of reversal. He will be revenged and vows to kill Cleopatra. Midway in the speech, Cleopatra enters to deliver one line (line 31). She is like a vision that only swells Antony’s rage and spurs his motivation. Such a dramatic device fuels the speech and keeps it from turning into a pure rant.

ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA

Antony

Act 4, Scene 14. Alexandria. Cleopatra’s palace at evening. Antony has come to kill Cleopatra for her supposed treachery in battle. Yet he stops for a moment, perhaps to reflect on the portents of a cloud.

ANTONY

Eros,° thou yet behold’st° me?

[EROS

Ay, noble lord.]

ANTONY

Sometime we see a cloud that’s dragonish,

A vapor° sometime like a bear or lion,

A towered citadel, a pendent rock,

A forkèd mountain, or blue promontory

With trees upon’t that nod unto the world

And mock our eyes with air. Thou hast seen these signs;

They are black vesper’s° pageants.°

[EROS

Ay, my lord.]

ANTONY

That which is now a horse even with a thought

The rack° dislimns,° and makes it indistinct

As water is in water.

[EROS

It does, my lord.]

ANTONY

My good knave Eros, now thy captain is

Even such a body. Here I am Antony,

Yet cannot hold this visible shape, my knave.

I made these wars for Egypt, and the Queen—

Whose heart I thought I had, for she had mine,

Which, whilst it was mine, had annexed unto’t

A million more, now lost—she, Eros, has

Packed cards° with Caesar, and false-played my glory

Unto an enemy’s triumph.

Nay, weep not, gentle Eros. There is left us

Ourselves to end ourselves.

1 Eros/Antony’s servant behold‘st/stands by, still faithful 3 vapor/fog or phantasm 8 black vesper’s/evening pageants/i.e., illusory shows that herald night (death) 10 rack/wind dislimns/obliterates 19 Packed cards/stacked the deck

Commentary: Antony begins his speech with the lightest and airiest of images: cloud and vapor. But the dragon, bear and lion—images of the warrior Antony once was—are in direct contrast. What Antony is describing is the eclipse of his once notable power. It is an elaborate simile for a self that is going out of focus, and it is one of Antony’s most vulnerable and knowing speeches. Notice how painterly and impressionistic it all seems. He feels, to change the image, that Cleopatra, like Lady Fortune, has dealt him a false hand. By the end of the speech his intention is to commit suicide.

AS YOU LIKE IT

Jaques

Act 2, Scene 7. Forest of Arden. The melancholy Jaques enters in an unusually happy mood. Even though we do not see the scene, he has apparently met the court fool Touchstone in the forest. He tells the Duke and others about the encounter.

[DUKE SENIOR

Why, how now, monsieur, what a life is this,

That your poor friends must woo your company!

What, you look merrily!]

JAQUES

A fool, a fool! I met a fool i‘th’ forest,

A motley° fool! A miserable world!

As I do live by food, I met a fool,

Who laid him° down and basked him° in the sun,

And railed on Lady Fortune in good terms,

In good set terms,° and yet a motley fool.

Good morrow, fool, quoth I. No, sir, quoth he,

Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune.°

And then he drew a dial° from his poke,°

And looking on it with lack-lustre eye

Says very wisely It is ten o’clock.

Thus we may see, quoth he, "how the world wags.

’Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,

And after one hour more ’twill be eleven.

And so, from hour° to hour, we ripe and ripe,

And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;

And thereby hangs a tale." When I did hear

The motley fool thus moral° on the time

My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,°

That fools should be so deep°-contemplative,

And I did laugh sans° intermission

An hour by his dial. O noble fool,

A worthy fool! Motley’s the only wear.°

13 motley/multi-colored garb of court fool (antithetical to the black garb usually worn by Jaques) 15 him/himself 17 set terms/strong precise phrases 19 fortune/fortune favors fools 20 dial/pocket sundial poke/ pouch 23 wags/goes on 26 hour/a sexual pun (whore) when used with wags, ripe, rot and tale (tail) 29 moral/moralize 30 crow. . . chanticleer/laugh like a rooster 31 deep/profoundly 32 sans/without (Fr.) 34 wear/costume

Commentary: Jaques (pronounced Ja’kis) is at his melancholy best when his cynicism can be played off against some witty jesting. Touchstone the clown is the very opposite of Jaques in the same way that Feste is the opposite of Malvolio in Twelfth Night. In this expository monologue—which actually contains a dialogue—Jaques plays straight man to Touchstone’s comedian. But the joke told is a dark one about the ravages of time and man’s ripening and rotting. Just the sort of thing that Jaques would laugh sans intermission about. The subject of the speech is repeated by Jaques in his All the world’s a stage monologue. Although he has an unsettling presence in the play, Jaques is not a comic villain; he is just gloomy, weary and out of sorts. Note the tick-tock rhythm in the verse (lines 26-28).

AS YOU LIKE IT

Jaques

Act 2, Scene 7. Forest of Arden. Jaques delivers this set speech to an onstage audience of the banished Duke Senior and his fellow exiles. The young Orlando has just barged in on the group and has exited to fetch his old retainer Adam. The incident prompts Jaques’s commentary.

[DUKE SENIOR

Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy.

This wide and universal theatre

Presents more woeful pageants than the scene

Wherein we play in.]

JAQUES

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players.

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling° and puking in the nurse’s arms.

Then the whining schoolboy with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,

Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,°

Jealous in honor, sudden, and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble° reputation

Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lined,°

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws° and modern° instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,°

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,

His youthful hose,° well saved, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank,° and his big, manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange, eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere° oblivion,

Sans° teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

(Enter Orlando bearing Adam)

144 Mewling/crying 150 pard/leopard (Lat., pardus) 152 bubble/empty and insubstantial 154 with...lined/allusion to the practice of bribing a judge with a capon (chicken) 156 saws/sayings modern/everyday 158 pantaloon/foolish old man (of Italian commedia dell’arte) 160 hose/ stockings 161 shrunk shank/thin ankles 165 mere/utter 166 Sans/ without (Fr.) (Note how it’s repetition gives a funereal bell-tolling quality to the final line.)

Commentary: Jaques (pronounced Ja’kis) is a world weary, melancholic wit. A haughty lord seldom given to laughter, he