The Last Christmas Tree
()
About this ebook
“What is it?”
“It’s a Christmas Tree.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Dad, this is your fault.”
“It’s not my fault ... why is it my fault?”
“Because you procrastinate.”
"What will your mother say when she sees it?"
J.T. Evergreen
OCCUPATION - Retired from the grind. Reflecting on successes, failures, and regrets. Exploring new aspects of self, writing that book which will get me an Oscar, staying out of trouble - well, small amounts of trouble are ok. Bringing joy into people's lives with random acts of kindness - the ones who aren't expecting it are the best. Cheering up check-out clerks at WalMart.ABOUT ME - Alone in blessed singleness. Wicked sense of humor, enjoy my own company, glad I'm not young any longer. I do miss the intimacy of being in love. A good catch . . . at least I think so. Enjoy the possibilities of every moment, an imagination that won't quite, a master weaver - give away everything I make, excellent portrait painter, a national treasure - though no one agrees with me, a good listener, intuitive, a good conversationalist, avoid boredom and boring people at all costs - that's a career all by itself.INTERESTS - Intelligent conversation: hard to come by these days, metaphysics, mysticism, my pups - Charlie, Max, and Bailey, seeing the funny side of life, going to Macy's at Christmas time - kicking Santa and punching an Elf. If I had a singing voice, which I don't, I would sing all of the time, wherever I was - even in WalMart. Wouldn't that be enchanting? When I receive the Oscar for the book I'm writing, I will have some baritone sing On A Clear Day, and I will lip sync his voice. It will wow the audience.PUBLICATIONS – Short Stories to celebrate the NEW YEAR - 23 delightful short stories; Alone at the Beach 25 short stories to keep you company, Home Alone, 8 Great Stories to keep you company, Born in the Twilight, Injun Summer, This’nThat, Short Stories for a Summer’s Day. Holiday Short Stories, With All My Love, Father Frederick Monahan, Shangri la, Stepping Stones to God, I’m Gay Mother – Get Over it, The Olde Book Shoppe, Naked Before God, The Italian Call Boy, The Silence of Healing, Death of a Pope, The Best Short Stories Ever, and My Love Affair with Father Tomas McTavish, working on a new character, Father Gibbon with Sister Mary Magda in TheAdventure of Father Gibbon with Sister M. Magda - it's about murder. I get choked up when I re-read some of my sentimental stories. I’m told that’s a sign of being a good writer.LOVES - Color and lots of it, strawberry jam, hiking up Yosemite Falls, Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, sourdough bread, only made in San Francisco. Hearst Castle, Big Sur, sea air, Adams peanut butter, chocolate milk, rainy days, canaries singing, chocolate chip cookies my mother made, Greek yogurt with honey - oh, yum. Laughter. I make it a point of doing this many times a day.HATES - Stupidity, insensitivity, bad table manners - come on, how difficult is it to hold a fork properly - it's not a shovel for God's sake. Snow, ice, slush, freeway traffic, lima beans - what was God thinking, sleepless nights, people who are late, texting - it's a cop-out, tobacco, alcohol, red meat,FAVORITE BOOKS - The Spiritual Journey of Joel S. Goldsmith, How to Win Friends and Influence People - I collect this book and give them to people I hate - there's a waiting list.FAVORITE MUSIC – Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals – Gilda Radner - funny lady;; Joplin’s Peachrine, Ahmad Jamal - Country Tour - the absolute best jazz - never tire of it. Someone Waits for You – Carly Simons, Helen Kane singing Button Up Your Overcoat and I Want to Be Bad – I relate to the lyrics. And the Tenor who sang Springtime for Hitler in the Zero Mostel version of The Producers. No one seems to know who he is. What a voice.FAVORITE FILMS – The Celluloid Closet, Witness for the Prosecution, It Could Happen to You, Maltese Falcon, Inherit the Wind, 12 Angry Men, Harold and Maude, Murder on the Orient Express, Hope and Glory, Sorry Wrong Number, Speed, Practical Magic, Apollo 13, Where the Red Fern Grows, The original Producers - touch me, hold me - Estelle was terrific, and Zero - what can I say.FAVORITE TV SHOWS - I don't watch TV any more, but when I did . . . 2-1/2 men - when it was good. Everybody loves Raymond - some great writers; best sight gagsFAVORITE QUOTES – The poetry in writing is the illusion it creates: by me. Lord Chesterfield: “Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.” The saddest words of tongue or pen are these - It might have been - indeed they are. If you want to make a success out of old age, you better start now: my mother when I was 15. On a clear day, you really can see forever - you just have to look. I may be rancid butter, but I'm on your side of the bread. Inherit the Wind.FAMILY – A father who was emotionally absent, a mother who provided all the necessities of life and nothing more. An older brother who is a classic socio-psychopath and made my childhood a misery. I hide from everything just to survive. My right of passage came when I was 18 and joined the Naval Air Reserves. In boot camp I hide in the back row the first day, and guess whose name they called to be the Company Commander – me. But it was the best thing that could have happened and I bless that moment. I had to lead those 50 plus men and boys for 90 days. The night of graduation we drilled in front of the audience and it was perfect. The guys carried me from the hangar in triumph. I came out of the shadows that summer and never went back. I'm a louse when it comes to cleaning house, too many other more enjoyable things to do.“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor WitShall lure it back to cancel half a Line,Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”Omar Khayyam
Read more from J.T. Evergreen
Rain Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Gigolo Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Arrest Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIt Came Upon A Midnight Clear Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMr. Sandman Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChristmas Dinner 1973 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Amphora Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Conversation With God Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Crystal Ball Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Carousel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Italian Call Boy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWithout Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInjun Summer Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSuspicion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTwelve Days of Christmas: sort of Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Devil Wore Pink Tights Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Gift Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAn Unlikely Angel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Green Dress Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFather Mario And Dane Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Bells Of Saint Peter Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Elevator Priest Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMichelangelo And David The Untold Love Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAt Long Last Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDavid Beloved Angel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSlap! A Love Story Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Hooked Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCharity Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWrong Number Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Spangler Affair Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to The Last Christmas Tree
Related ebooks
We Need To Talk . . . Now Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsForgiveness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Conversation With God Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSuspicion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOh Charley Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWrong Number Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Santa Suit Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Trunk Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSanta Hates Seattle Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 12 Terrors of Christmas Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMerry: A Short Rivers End Holiday Romance Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5My Nine Year Date Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSaving Santa Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Road Not Taken Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Holiday Shoppe: Blue Moon Bay, #8 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDiscarded Christmas Spell Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCode of Connections Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPower of the Stones Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSecret Santa For Grumpy Elves: Obscure Academy, #3.5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGood Hair, Bad Hair Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHitting: A Love Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Pint of Beer, a Bag of Chips, and Thou Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Valiant Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWildflower Girl Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Very Murder Christmas Box Set Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGod Bless Us Every One: A Contemporary Christmas Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dreadwolves: A son's Revenge Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMegan's Christmas: A Spirit Guide, A Ghost Tiger And One Scary Mother! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Quartet Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Werewolf Christmas Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Humor & Satire For You
Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Farrell Covington and the Limits of Style: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Garbage Pail Kids Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Related categories
Reviews for The Last Christmas Tree
0 ratings0 reviews