Change? Not Me!
By Roberta Cava
()
About this ebook
Are you in a rut?
Are you existing rather than living?
Do you want to make changes for the better?
Then this is the book for you.
Chapters in the book are:
Resisting change
Stuck in a rut?
Where do you want to go?
How to overcome negative tapes
Overcoming your past
Adapting to change
Implementing change
Changes at work
Changes at home
Turning things around
Roberta Cava
Roberta Cava is the author of 30 books. Two of them are international best-sellers. Her Dealing with Difficult People book was published in 1990 (23 publishers in 17 languages). She was born in Canada but now lives on the Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia.
Read more from Roberta Cava
Human Resources At Its Best! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dealing with Difficult Situations at Work and at Home Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Dealing with Difficult People Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Creative Problem-Solving & Decision-Making Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSurvival Skills for Supervisors and Managers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Before Tying the Knot: Questions Couples Must Ask Each Other Before They Marry! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInterpersonal Communication at Work Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDealing with Workplace Bullying Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDealing with Difficult Spouses and Children Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Belly Laughs for All! Volume 6 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKeeping Our Children Safe Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTeam Building Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTime and Stress: Today's Silent Killers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRetirement Village Bullies Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Belly Laughs for All! Volume 5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDealing with School Bullying Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDealing with Difficult Relatives & In-Laws Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Volume 4 Belly Laughs for All Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTake Command of your Future: Make things happen! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEasy Come: Hard to Go Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Change? Not Me!
Related ebooks
What Am I Going To Do With The Rest Of My Life? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDealing with Difficult People Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMillennials' Quick Guide to Being a Boss: What No One Ever Told You About Being a True Leader Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPrinciple-Centered Leadership Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Founder's Footing: An Entrepreneurial Guide To Leadership & Culture-Sculpture Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCracking the Management Code Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSteve Jobs: Learn from the Masters Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCareer Agility: Identifying and maintaining your career sweet spot as the world of work evolves Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Manage Yourself Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Team Building Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe New Brain for Business Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Be Productive: 7 Easy Steps to Master Productivity Apps, Productive Habits, Work Efficiency & Personal Productivity Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTop 5 Habits of Highly Effective People Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBuilding the Business Brain - Develop the Right Mindset to Transition from Employee to Entrepreneur Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Art and Science of Dealing with Difficult People Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5What They Want Us To Know: Messages of Hope, Unity and Meaning from the Animal Kingdom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYou Know it's a Verb, Right? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMindset Change 101: THE QUALITY OF LIFE INCREASES WHEN YOUR MINDSET CHANGES Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings10 Principles Every CEO Must Know to Play and Win Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsManage Me, Manage You: Managing People How They Want to Be Managed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWomen and Time Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWinning Strategies for Professional and Personal Development Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhy Did I Fail? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Influential Leader: How You Can Become a Leader That Influences, Inspires, and Empowers People and Your Team To Take Action Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnderstanding Personality Types-The Face Behind The Smile! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Business Development For You
Vivid Vision: A Remarkable Tool for Aligning Your Business Around a Shared Vision of The Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Bezos Letters: 14 Principles to Grow Your Business Like Amazon Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...And Others Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition, and Accelerate Your Career Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nolo’s Guide to Single-Member LLCs: How to Form & Run Your Single-Member Limited Liability Company Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Start a Business for Beginners: A Complete Guide to Building a Successful & Profitable Business Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Capital in the Twenty-First Century Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This Shit Works: A No-Nonsense Guide to Networking Your Way to More Friends, More Adventures, and More Success Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Rise of the Rest: How Entrepreneurs in Surprising Places are Building the New American Dream Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Doughnut Economics: Seven Ways to Think Like a 21st-Century Economist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Summary of Graham Cochrane's How to Get Paid for What You Know Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau: Summary and Analysis Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The E-Myth Contractor: Why Most Contractors' Businesses Don't Work and What to Do About It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rocket Fuel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Hard Truth About Soft Skills: Soft Skills for Succeeding in a Hard Wor Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The 30 Laws of Flow: Timeless Principles for Entrepreneurial Success Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Second in Command: Unleash the Power of Your COO Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFear Less: Face Not-Good-Enough to Replace Your Doubts, Achieve Your Goals, and Unlock Your Success Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Small Business Start-Up Guide: A Surefire Blueprint to Successfully Launch Your Own Business Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Power: Why Some People Have It—and Others Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Crash Course: The Unsustainable Future of Our Economy, Energy, and Environment Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Vending Revolution - How to Start & Grow a Vending Business at Any Age! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Business Plan Checklist: Plan your way to business success Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Don't Trust Your Gut: Using Data to Get What You Really Want in LIfe Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Sprint: How to Solve Big Problems and Test New Ideas in Just Five Days Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Change? Not Me!
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Change? Not Me! - Roberta Cava
Copyright 2019 by Roberta Cava
Change? Not Me!
Dealing with Resistance to Change
Roberta Cava
Published by Cava Consulting
info@dealingwithdifficultpeople.info
www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.info
Smashwords Edition
Discover other titles by Roberta Cava at Smashwords.com.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
ISBN 978-0-6484437-9-7
Are you in a rut?
Are you existing rather than living?
Do you want to make changes for the better?
Then this is the book for you!
Learn how to adapt to change; implement change; and overcome resistance to change in both your business and personal live.
Roberta Cava is the owner of Cava Consulting in Australia. She is the author of 38 books and will be writing more. 32 are non-fiction and 6 are fiction. Her book Dealing with Difficult People has been an international best-seller since 1990 with 24 publishers and in 17 languages.
BOOKS BY ROBERTA CAVA
Non-Fiction
Dealing with Difficult People (23 publishers – in 17 languages)
Dealing with Difficult Situations – at Work and at Home
Dealing with Difficult Spouses and Children
Dealing with Difficult Relatives and In-Laws
Dealing with Domestic Violence and Child Abuse
Dealing with School Bullying
Dealing with Workplace Bullying
Retirement Village Bullies
Keeping Our Children Safe
Just say no
What am I going to do with the rest of my life?
Interpersonal Communication at Work
Change? Not me!
Customer Service
Team Building
Before tying the knot – Questions couples Must ask each other Before they marry!
How Women can advance in business
Survival Skills for Supervisors and Managers
Human Resources at its Best!
Human Resources Policies and Procedures - Australia
Employee Handbook
Easy Come – Hard to go – The Art of Hiring, Disciplining and Firing Employees
Time and Stress – Today’s silent killers
Take Command of your Future – Make things Happen
Belly Laughs for All! – Volumes 1 to 6
Wisdom of the World! The happy, sad and wise things in life!
Fiction
That Something Special
Something Missing
Life Gets Complicated
Life Goes On
Life Gets Better
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
My thanks to my long-departed father Bob Hastie who taught me how to be pro-active instead of reactive and to understand that if I didn’t try – that I wouldn’t fail, but I wouldn’t win either.
DEDICATION
Dedicated to the participants who have attended my many Change Management seminars and have shared their experiences.
CHANGE? NOT ME!
Dealing with Resistance to Change
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 – Adapting to Change
How to deal with change
Take command of your future – make things happen
Positive/Negative thinking
Positive thinking requires 3 pre-requisites
Are you a positive or negative thinker?
Visualization
Ways to deal with negative feelings
Rehearsals
Support Groups
Chapter 2 – Resisting Change
The change process
Introducing change
Meeting objections head-on
Handling resistance
Planning
Planning factors
Brainstorming
Examples of brainstorming
Making change happen
Sample forms
What do you want to change?
Chapter 3 – Changes at Work
Supervisors from hell
Disciplines staff in front of workmates or clients
Harasses staff
Have temper tantrums
Are moody
Label their staff’s behaviour
Don’t value or respect others’ opinions
Don’t give recognition for a job well done
Don’t back up their staff when dealing
with customer complaints
Don’t provide an adequate up-to-date job description with Key Performance Indicators
Hire the wrong staff
Don’t provide the necessary training
Conduct performance appraisals on staff without
a proper job description
Use the same leadership style on all staff.
Have one set of company rules for staff – another for themselves
Don’t provide policies and procedures or employee manuals
Have a poor work ethic
Do nothing to improve the employee’s interest in their jobs
Are not available when staff need their help
Won’t listen to staff’s suggestions about better ways to complete tasks
Have a negative That will never work
attitude
Are perfectionists
Are workaholics
They’re supervising former peers
Upper management have not given supervisors full responsibility to perform their duties
Use an authoritative management style
Supervisor ignores the issue when staff member’s behaviour requires correction
Don’t step in to resolve personality conflicts between staff
Show favouritism towards pet employees
Poor role models
Don’t know how to manage their time
Allow nepotism
Don’t keep promises
Too immature for supervisory role
Bring personal problems into the workplace
Promoted too soon
Chapter 4 – Developing a good team
Team changes
Planning for team changes
Overcoming cultural or personality differences
Theory X and Theory Y
Theory X and Theory Y Assumptions
How to stifle innovation
How to encourage innovative ideas
The learning process
Sensory language – visual, auditory and kinaesthetic
Learner’s ability to retain information studied
Teaching adults new things
Characteristics of adult learners
Team changes
Planning for team changes
Qualities of a good team member
The effective group
Problem team members
Chapter 5 – Changing your job or your career
What kind of job do you like?
Use of abilities and Creativity
Help yourself to a mid-life career change
Making a mid-life career change
Obstacles holding you back from making a career change
Energy Levels
Have low energy level?
Detecting Type A energy
What to do about Type A energy
Detecting Type B energy
What to do about Type B energy
What kind of person are you?
Personality types
Strengths and weaknesses
How to work with other personality types
How these personalities react to change
What could you change in your approach to these individuals that would improve the situation?
Introvert/extrovert personality types
Chapter 6 - Where do you want to go?
Dreams can become a reality with goal setting
Positive / negative goals
Goal clarity
Life inventory
Using your potential
Criteria necessary for successful goal setting
Why is planning necessary?
Lifetime and career goals
Sample good and bad goals
Guidelines for setting personal goals
Chapter 7 – Changes at Home
I have too much to do
Obtaining help at home
Family conferences
Introducing business to home management
How to organize yourself for work
In the middle
Well behaved children
Chapter 8 – Stuck in a rut
Are you stuck?
Darren
Marcia
Marilyn
Phil
Jake
Margaret
Grace and Jim
Susan and Bob
Sally and Fred
Agnes and Dennis
How well do you like yourself and your lifestyle?
What’s holding you back?
Handling criticism and disapproval
Indecisiveness
Dependency
Won’t forgive others
Inflexibility
Can’t say No
to others’ requests
Fear of success
Setting expectations
Do you do any of the following?
Chapter 9 – How to overcome Negative Tapes
How do we get negative tapes?
Harmful negative labelling
How to remove negative tapes
Constructive criticism
Rate your self-esteem level
How to improve your self-esteem level
Chapter 10 – Overcoming your past
Dysfunctional homes
Child abuse
How to keep the cycle from repeating itself
Wife battering
How to stop wife battering and child abuse
Adult rape victims
Are you still blaming others?
Chapter 11 – Turning things around
Using your abilities
Risk Taking
How can I improve my risk-taking?
How you appear to others
Your appearance
Your ability to communicate
Non-verbal communication
Enthusiasm
Success
Conclusion
Bibliography
INTRODUCTION
Companies are merging, downsizing and investing in technology to meet ever-changing demands. Consequently, corporations are seeking employees who are competent in working with others – who are flexible and open to change.
One of the main things people do when they want to implement a change, is to dive right in and simply do it. Unfortunately, most end up running into resistance from those who are affected (or who perceive they may be affected) by the change.
Implementing change can be a difficult process if you have a new idea and want others to use it. Objections may be received from per groups, other supervisors or your own staff.
When implementing a change that you feel may meet with resistance (and even those you don’t) planning ahead will eliminate problems.
Most people resist change. It’s easier and safer to do things the old way. In these hard, economic times, an employee who resists or fights change, takes the chance that they’ll be let go or replaced.
CHAPTER ONE
ADAPTING TO CHANGE
Unless you keep up with technology and not only accept change but be the initiator of change occasionally, you’ll simply be left behind. Therefore, it’s important that you identify the changes you’re resisting:
In this tight economy, often four people are doing the work that five people used to do, therefore if there’s anything that can streamline what you do, then suggest it to your supervisor or manager. Don’t just give him or her your idea. You must sell
the idea. This is where planning comes in. For example: You’ve found a faster, better way to process client’s orders. Before explaining the new system to others, you need to prepare.
How to deal with change:
1. Write down the way it used to be (be specific).
______________________________________________________________________________
2. Identify advantages and disadvantages of doing it the old way.
Advantages:
______________________________________________________________________________
Disadvantages:
______________________________________________________________________________
3. Write down the new way (be specific).
______________________________________________________________________________
4. Identify advantages and disadvantages of doing it the new way.
Advantages:
______________________________________________________________________________
Disadvantages:
______________________________________________________________________________
5. How could you make it easier for you to accept the new way?
______________________________________________________________________________
6. Are there any other changes you’d like to recommend to your supervisor that might cut even more corners?
______________________________________________________________________________
Take Command of your future – Make things happen!
Don’t blame others for your self-esteem level and expect external things to change your life. Make things happen yourself. If it’s to be – it’s up to me!
1. Don’t wait for big brother
or your employer to see
your talents. (You may be overlooked). Make sure they know where you want to go, and how you intend to help yourself get there (through education and training).
2. Obtain career counselling if you find yourself in the wrong job for you. Become a positive vs negative thinker. This may involve eliminating some of your friends. Cultivate others who are positive thinkers as friends (it rubs off).
3. Learn how to visualize (not fantasize), and how to identify obstacles that may be in your way. Determine how you will go over, under, around, or through obstacles. Don’t quit when you run into resistance - persevere.
4. Eliminate anything about your appearance or health that you feel affects your self-esteem level. This could be bad teeth, skin problems, over-weight, smoking, excessive drinking or eating. No one can do anything about these problems but you. You never have a second chance to make a first impression - so make it a good one! If you allow these negatives to continue, you may be hiding behind your problem, using it to explain why you’re failing i.e.: It must be because I’m fat that people don’t like me.
5. Energy level can be increased by obtaining a position you like and doing things you want to do. Make sure you’re using your full abilities. If you need training - get it.
6. Take the word failure
out of your vocabulary. Think of it instead as a learning experience. The more things you try, the larger your memory bank is of things you do well. Your success rate will rise accordingly. You MUST give your best effort to make this process work. Don’t be a quitter or give second-best effort.
7. Don’t should on yourself,
or say, if only,
or start every second sentence with the word but
(and give reasons why something won’t work). Instead, concentrate on the positives. People often get tired, not because they do too much, but because they do too little (of the things they want to do.) Get your motor running!
8. Don’t automatically accept negative strokes from others. Whenever you feel a negative feeling, stop to analyse whether you’re reacting correctly, or over-reacting and giving others control over your life. Success of any kind - be it related to money, health, happiness, family, good friends, recognition, etc. is always preceded by hard work. Be willing to work hard to obtain what you want. Don’t expect external forces to give it to you.
9. If all else fails, explain how difficult it is to be around negative-thinking people (use feedback). Marge, do you realize that you reject most new ideas and work hard to find reasons why things won’t work? Put yourself in my shoes, how would you like it if every idea you suggested was shot down by someone?
10. Set goals or steps that must be taken to implement the new way.
11. Follow-through to make sure others don’t slip back and do it the old way.
Positive/Negative Thinkers
Often our most difficult resistance involves others who are negative thinkers. That will never work,
is their normal response to anything new.
1. First get your facts straight so you can defend your way of doing things.
2. Have others explain why they think your method won’t work.
3. Anticipate their resistance – have answers ready for that resistance.
4. Ask them to concentrate on why your method will work.
5. Emphasize areas you agree on and discuss those you don’t.
6. Have them identify the method they think will work better.
7. Be open to new ideas – they might work!
8. Try not to give ultimatums.
Positive thinking requires three pre-requisites:
* Imagination
* The ability to visualize, and
* The belief that they can do it!
We use visualization when we look in a drawer for a potato peeler, or into a closet for a particular outfit. We see in our mind’s eye what it looks like, the shape, the colour and the size. But how does visualization differ from fantasizing? How do these two differ?
Positive Thinking - I will succeed because...
Negative Thinking - I will fail because...
Those who fantasize usually aren’t in touch with reality. These are the people who really expect to win a lottery when their chances of doing so are so slim that they would be better to bank the money spent on tickets and allowing it to earn interest or invest it. Those who fantasize often try to reach unreachable goals and make a stab at reaching those goals but stop as soon as they run into resistance. These are often negative thinkers (or become so because they don’t succeed at obtaining their fantasies.
The positive thinker who uses visualization, sees themselves reaching their goal, but also clearly identify obstructions they may face along the way. Instead of quitting when they hit those barricades, they identify how they can go under, over, around or through the obstacle. Then they identify the next obstacle, overcome it, and keep on until they reach their goal. This is done before their project or goal is underway. If too many obstacles appear, the goal can be dropped without wasting real effort. However, they must watch that they don’t cop out
and give up to soon.
Positive Thinking
Attitudes
Understanding
Anticipation
Expectations
Confidence
Patience
Humility
Belief
Behaviour
Enthusiastic
Decisive
Courageous
Optimistic
Cheerful
Considerate
Friendly
Courteous
Warm/Sincere
Relaxed
Results
Success/Security
Recognition
High Energy
Achievement
Happiness/Love
Growth
Adventure
Good Health
Friendship
Inner Peace
Negative thinking
Attitudes
Envy
Greed
Anger
Conceit
Cynicism
Self-Pity
Suspicion
Indecision
Criticism
Inferiority
Behaviour
Lethargic
Indecisive
Timid
Pessimistic
Grumpy
Inconsiderate
Unfriendly
Rude
Weak/Insincere
Irritable
Weak
Results
Worry/Tension
Despondency
Frustration
Job Weariness
Unhappiness
Failure
Poverty/Sickness
Loneliness
Fatigue
Dissatisfaction
Boredom
Now it’s time to list all the:
Positive-thinking people you associate with on a regular basis
Negative-thinking people you associate with on a regular basis.
Percentage of time (in a week) spent with each person.
Are you spending more time with positive or negative-thinking people?
I’ve learned to weed out some of my negative-thinking friends and encourage you to do the same. This includes relatives that can ruin your day. You can’t eliminate them entirely of course, but you can limit your time with them.
Are you a Positive or Negative Thinker?
To determine how positive you are, answer these 15 questions as honestly as possible. To score yourself, use