Question Basket

Question Basket

Excerpts from the talks by

Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Sri Sri Publications Trust, India

© Copyrights Sri Sri Publications Trust

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ISBN: 978-93-85898-10-5

Layout by: Sri Sri Publications Trust

Question-Answer Sessions with

gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Contents

Title

Introduction

Chapter 1 Personal

Chapter 2 Sadhana

Chapter 3 Self Help

Chapter 4 Seva

Chapter 5 Society

Chapter 6 Spirituality

Chapter 7 Surrender

The Art of Living & The International Association for Human Values

The Founder

Follow Sri Sri on:

The Art of Living In Service Around The World

The Art of Living Programs

International Centres

Landmarks

Cover

INTRODUCTION

No matter how much one learns, there is always much more to learn in life. Many times, we carry questions within ourselves but they remain in the background behind various things that demand our attention in daily life. Many times, we do not find anybody close who would understand us and be able to provide answers.

Wherever He is in the world, Gurudev likes to hold informal gatherings in which there is a little bit of singing, some meditation and some discussion. His bearing is relaxed and sensitive and in the secure and celebrative environment around him, many people spontaneously feel, Maybe He can tell me...

Watching questions begin to pop out from the gathering when Gurudev opens the floor for them can be anything from moving, inspiring, illuminating, hilarious and, on occasion, bizarre too. It is a phenomenon to watch Gurudev respond to questions. They dwell on a wide array of subjects - relationships, health, environment, politics, meditation, social issues and just about anything under the sun and He is at ease answering all of them. The manner of his response is such that even if it is not your own question, you still find something opening up within that takes you to a simple yet deeper understanding of life and yourself.

Quite often, he is asked similar questions or even one that he has answered many times. He might or might not repeat his response. In this book, we have made an effort to capture all possible responses he has given to the same question.

Gurudev often says that knowledge should be like gossip - light and fun. That is the flavour that colours everything He does and we hope it reaches you through this book.

Chapter 1

Personal

Q: How to decide that ‘enough is enough’? I have a child and want to go in for a divorce.

Gurudev: Ask yourself if you have given your hundred percent to the relationship. If your mind says that you have only given your eighty percent or even ninety five percent, then wait till you give your full hundred percent. It is better to give one hundred and one percent for the sake of the children. A little sacrifice for the children will take you a long way. Even after that, if it does not work then tell your partner, in a friendly manner, that your paths are different and it is better to part.

Q: I am anxious about the results of my interview. What is to be done?

Gurudev: You should do ujjai breathing, bhastrika, meditation, and sing and dance.

Q: Gurudev, there are moments when I am enthusiastic, when I am very confident but there are two problems:

1. I forget things.

2. I fear of what will happen if this state continues. This is predominantly from my wife’s side. What to do?

Gurudev: I remember, a gentleman with his wife participated in one of the courses. At each knowledge point, the husband would tell his wife that he had also been saying the same thing all along. And when I would say to forgive and forget, she would say that she had told him the same thing all along too. (Laughter) I told the man that those points were for him to apply to himself and not to just pass on and that charity begins at home. Love begins at home. I advised him to start from where he was.

In the Art of Living, we never wait to implement a plan. We start working and everything needed becomes available. This is a Siddhi or Perfection—whatever is needed and whenever it is needed, becomes available. Here meditation and pranayama come into the picture. It makes you such, that you don’t feel the lack of anything. We need to get back to the stage of feeling no lack.

What is the use of having a wonderful air-conditioned room, money to buy sweets and all the luxuries if you have insomnia or diabetes? So, we need to create positive energy around us. This doesn’t happen through worrying and thinking.

I would like to tell you about two ways of doing work. One is doing something because you want something. Another is doing something as an expression of joy. You do it because you have something. Doing work as an expression of joy or expecting joy makes all the difference.

Today the mass population is suffering from depression in the world. The statistics say that it is going to be fifty percent in the coming decade. It is so disheartening! We need to change that. Taking Prosaic is not the solution. Solution is meditation and yoga.

Q: I feel more connected to people here in The Art of Living but I feel disconnected from people in my office or even at home. I feel weak that way.

Gurudev: Why do you think you are weak? Wake up and see you have all the strength. You should do the DSN (Divya Samaj ka Nirman- one of the Art of Living programs, which helps an individual move beyond one’s barriers and limitations). There is no ‘outside’; no ‘other’ at all. The Art of Living teaches you that the whole world is your family.

The ashram is your home. Of course, people are rosy here. But, everywhere you can’t expect the same atmosphere. You may have to face hard criticism in the office. You have to teach meditation to the people. But what is the first principle of The Art of Living? Accept people and situations as they are. If you don’t learn even the very first principle, you can’t say you are doing the Art of Living.

Q: I am a very happy woman and blessed with a lot of things. So, why do I bother about being over-weight?

Gurudev: You know a man or woman cannot live without botherations. That is why I started The Art of Living—to get more botherations! So, this is a good botheration. At least, it will put a break to your habit of going for the second scoop of ice cream. You will not stretch your hand for the second piece of dessert, or second piece of apple pie. You will stop at half. It is good to have a little concern. Otherwise, when you grow older you may have to pay a lot of bills to the doctor. So, it is better to keep a check on the weight unless you want the doctors to become rich. That is your choice!

Q: In difficult situations, sometimes it’s hard to know if I am running away, or retreating strategically. How to resolve this conflict?

Gurudev: When you feel that your strength is less and you cannot face the fight, you want to run away. So, when you feel this, then you have to bring more strength to yourself. You should take time. When you are clear about this, you will feel that you should do more; that you should meditate, strengthen yourself and, at the right time, strike and tackle the problem. That is one way. The second way is by prayer. If your emotions are dry, your worries dominate you. When you have pain, you have no worry. When you have worry, you are stuck in the head. There are no emotions. If you are in any emotion, you laugh, cry, pray and you get over it. Worry is wishing to win but having no strength to win. When you realize, I don’t have any strength and I can’t do anything about it, then you pray. Prayer is done with emotions and feelings.

Q: What is your biggest wish? What can I do to get closer to your heart?

Gurudev: You are already close to my heart. I want more children to be educated in spirituality in order to create a violence-free and stress-free society. We need to globalize wisdom. There are one thousand of us here. If we each sponsor a child, we would do a great service. Do service. Donate two percent of your income. It would be of immense benefit to you and to those who need it.

Q: I find it difficult to forgive my sister who had been very abusive to me?

Gurudev: There are six and a half billion people on this planet. Don’t forgive the six and a half billion but just forgive this one person. Inside every culprit there is a victim crying for help. You must understand that they are victims of situation and circumstances. They didn’t have that knowledge. They were never exposed to higher knowledge and so they made mistakes. Just reading books and understanding don’t help to get out of violent tendencies. These have to be fixed through meditation, breathing exercises and yoga.

Some prisoners say that The Art of Living is responsible for their being in prison. If The Art of Living had given them this knowledge earlier, they wouldn’t have landed up in the prison. Their life would have been much different. And I agree with them.

Q: I am going through a hard time in life. My wife cheated me but now wants to be back. What to do? I don’t trust her anymore, but I find it hard to breakup. I am confused and worried about the future. Can the love develop again?

Gurudev: Yes, certainly! Have a broad mindset. Suppose you were in that state. Suppose you had made a mistake and now you repent, and you want your wife to forgive you. How would you feel if she refuses and holds on to your mistake? In the same way, she has made a mistake. Some mistakes are done by you and some by her. Forget about it. Live in the present moment. Give her a chance. Move on to the future. But, if it keeps happening too many times, then you can take a decision. If it is once or twice, you should give her a fair chance. If it happens more than three times, then you should put your foot down.

I have no experience in this field. I can’t give any better advice. So, this could be a suggestion.

Q: Dearest Gurudev, today, I learnt courage from you. I often thought that you were a scary and angry person. But I found so much peace in you. I am afraid what if I lose you.

Gurudev: You cannot lose me, and I cannot lose you! Our mind projects our feelings on others. This is what happens most of the time. Sometimes people ask me if I am angry with them. They say that I didn’t smile at them or talk to them in the crowd, and feel that I am angry at them. But why would I be angry at them? There are so many people in crowd. I smile at some, and pass a bigger smile to some others who have a long face so that they also smile. But smiling at some doesn’t mean I am angry with others. Many times, we project our own emotions on others, especially when we love someone. If you are angry or upset at others, you think that others are angry and upset at you.

Here, knowledge of the Self is very important, so that you can have a balanced perception. With the knowledge, you know what is happening inside you, and you know what is happening inside others. That clarity of perception, observation and expression can only come through meditation.

Q: Why is it that even the good things I wish for don’t happen immediately?

Gurudev: The baby cries for milk but the mother takes time to prepare it. Just because the baby is crying, she will not give it hot milk. She knows what will be OK for it.

Q: Gurudev, up to what extent should I sustain a relationship? How much can one bend?

Gurudev: If the other person is turning violent or taking advantage of you, you can’t bend too much. Then you have to stand up and state things clearly. Deal with it using your intellect and not your emotions. Conflict is always emotional. Resolution is intellectual. Emotional conflict can’t be dealt with emotions. Similarly, an intellectual argument cannot be dealt with the intellect. The emotional side of it has to be considered. If you observe carefully, there is a stream of emotions behind an intellectual argument. Life is a fine balance between the emotions and the intellect.

Q: Gurudev, there is lot of confusion in my family because one member follows Art of Living and another member follows some other spiritual path—pranic healing.

Gurudev: Both should just stick to their own paths.

Q: When to use what, is the real wisdom. And how do you gain that wisdom?

Gurudev: The answer is meditation, meditation and meditation.

Q: I am sixty-three plus years. Can a good art of living lead to a decent art of dying?

Gurudev: You should forget that you are sixty three. Wake up. It is not late. There is something deep inside you, which has not aged. It is pure and dynamic. Don’t underestimate yourself. Don’t think that you are useless. You can meditate and bless the world. Things will happen differently then. I am with you. You are not alone. If anyone at anytime feels lonely, depressed, unhappy or sad, just remember that you are not alone. You are not alone at all.

Q: My best comes out when I am pushed against a wall. It becomes a matter of do or die. That’s the time when I have laser sharp focus, composure, drive and motivation to fulfil all my desires and intentions. But when I’m happy, comfortable and joyful, I can’t seem to have that same composure and drive to motivate myself. How do I change that pattern?

Gurudev: Then ask someone to push you against the wall (laughs). There are no walls here. If you’re not married, get married. Tell your spouse to do it for you. If you think that your best will only come out if you are in danger and pushed against the wall, then you have put such an intention in your mind, and that’s what is going to happen all the time. But you can do it even when you are happy, when you are joyful, and when you are free. But if you have recognised it as your pattern, then it is your responsibility. Nothing else can help you. Only you can help yourself. You can say, Now, today I am happy, I am going to do it!

Q: This is the first time you are reading my question. I become sad sometimes because I feel guys do not like me. No one has asked me out on a date or wants a relationship with me, and I do want to be in a loving relationship.

Gurudev: Well, I have no experience. Are you sure that no one has asked you out? Sometimes people are shy and you are too. When you feel worthless, then that type of vibration comes up. But you are worth more. Beauty is in your confidence and smile. The peace you have is real beauty. You feel confident and connected to the universe and the cosmos. Then you will see—how things change.

Q: I don’t easily get things in life. Recently, my case was going on and it got dismissed?

Gurudev: Listen, you have made this notion in mind that you don’t get things easily in life. Who has said this? First, remove this label from your mind, OK! Whatever you want and you ask for, go ahead with confidence for that. Don’t think that you always fail, your things get haphazard. This is wrong. It doesn’t happen like that. Everyone faces some problems initially. It has never happened that nobody faced any problem initially, and it will never happen like that.

Q: I am a coward. All my life I have been afraid of every little thing. I see risk and danger in my way and fear everything and everyone. I’m afraid to get hurt. How do I overcome all this?

Gurudev: First of all remove this label—‘I am a coward.’ Who said you are a coward? Drop this label. When you label, you go on encouraging it—like the saying in the Bible ‘As you sow, so shall you reap.’ You are wonderful. We all are here to support you, and I am here to support you, and everybody here will support you! Don’t think you are weak. Just drop it.

Q: I don’t know what the aim of my life is? I lost my parents long ago, and I see them in dreams every day. Sometimes I see you. What does that mean?

Gurudev: That is OK. Dream is another dimension where all these things exist and all the experiences come. So, when you wake up, be fully in the waking state.

Q: This is my tenth Advanced Course. But I am not able to get rid of my fear. I don’t know what to do?

Gurudev: Do more yogasanas (practice of yoga postures). Yogasanas stretch your nervous system. The endocrine system gets strengthened.

Q: I hold a high position of authority in my state and am well respected and known. When I go to another place, I sometimes find myself less important. I tend to question my identity. How to get over this?

Gurudev: You should know how to wear a suit and how to take it off, too! Everyone is a king in his or her place. Know how to remain in a state of akinchan—I am nobody. The whole life journey is from ‘I am somebody’ to ‘I am nobody’ and then to ‘I am everybody’. Usually the journey is from ‘I am something’ to ‘I am nothing’ to ‘I am something’ again! Sit in satsangs and let your identity dissolve. Dissolving and losing the identity is ‘samadhi’, is fun. You will realize that you are immortal

Q: I get physically attracted to many people. What to do? Is it OK to be physically attracted?

Gurudev: So many thoughts come in your mind. You can’t act on all of them. If you try to, you will end up in a mental hospital. Whether thoughts of attraction or repulsion come, you are not just attracted to but repulsed by many people. For example, if the mind says to strangle somebody, you have to act out of wisdom. You have to see what is right and what is wrong. You have to see what is evolutionary and what is not. You have to see what is giving you happiness in the long term and what is giving misery. You have to see what is permanent and what is temporary. That is discrimination, ‘viveka’. It is so important. Otherwise, they will just be senseless and thoughtless actions, which leave you in misery.

Q: Dear Gurudev, I am profoundly grateful for the beautiful knowledge that you bring to us. I am very curious to know from where these insights come to you. When I meditate, I sometimes become calmer and more effective afterwards, but the secrets of the universe do not reveal themselves. Instead, I seem to be either stuck in the same dramas or in some kind of self-hypnosis. The path is good for me. I am certain. But, I feel so impatient. I found your words about the Divine and nature to be the nectar for which I am hungry. Can you please elaborate on that theme? I used to feel a stronger connection with nature. I feel like a bit of a robot these days. Did I fall from grace or something?

Gurudev: No! I think you have too much time in hand. You think too much about yourself. Get busy. The more good work you do the more positive the atmosphere and vibes are created around you. And when you create positive vibes, it helps you go deep inside. It is necessary to care for others and share with others. Do it in whatever manner you can. Involve yourself in some projects. Do some meditation. Don’t sit and worry, Oh, what experience I had today, what I will have tomorrow? They will come and they will go! You are more than all those experiences put together. As a seeker, what can you do about your experiences? You can just say, Hi and bye. With one hand you say ‘Hi’, and with the other you