Fuck the World: Thorns of Life Saga, #1

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"Has it ever occurred to you that if you want to survive in this dark world, you have to become darkness itself?

Emilia Wilson was a typical, not so typical, 3rd  year college student, who just wanted nothing more but to pass all of her subjects, read the books she had bought and enjoy in a good cup of her favorite tea in peace.

When she got a phone call from her parents to visit her Grandmother who was at death’s door, Emilia was pulled into the grand scheme of monstrous crimes, and the tea she wished of was nothing more than a long forgotten dream.

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Deceive the World: Thorns of Life series here:

www.andreabedford.com

A Word from the Author

HEYA, READER.

I am Andrea, the author of this book (if that wasn’t obvious from the title), but please, feel free to call me by my nickname, Deja (as in, day-ya).

Maybe you have read some of my stuff before, but if it is our first time meeting, then I hope you will have a great reading.

How was your day? I sincerely hope it was good. 1f604_Smiley_row06_Smiley01__05145.1469224589.500.750.jpg

But before you start reading my book, I want to say a couple of words to you, my dear reader.

First of all, thank you. I truly appreciate you supporting my content. Hopefully, you will enjoy it. If you also decide to leave a review, then double thank you. If you also decide to share or recommend my book to someone, then triple thank you ♥

Of course, I also want to thank all the people who supported me while working on this, especially my parents, for doing their best in raising me despite all the struggles; my friends and my family, for believing in me and supporting me (they are truly awesome peeps); A special thanks to Tanja Tadić Tupeša, my high school English teacher, for making me fall in love with English language, and my Creative Writing professor who took her time to read some of my stuff before I published this book. Of course, one enormous thanks goes to my Launch Team for helping me out as well. They are my favourite peeps.

And to me, for finishing this book. Obviously, I was joking in the previous sentence. smilelaugh.jpg

Hopefully, some of you will read this before jumping right into the story. Even if you skip this part, it’s fine. Even I skipped this part many times. Not something that I am proud of, by the way.

About the book...There are so many warnings that I could put in here, but then that would spoil the whole thing, right? I would probably run out of appropriate number of pages for this. Although, there is one thing I want all of you to know. This book does mention insults of everything you might hold dear, including your sanity and it does have many very dark themes. It criticizes the whole world. It goes beyond all morals and ethics, but please, do remember this is a piece of fiction, and none of the characters are real. So if you hate anything in this book, feel free to hate it, but do not put any of their words in my mouth, okay?

I mean, technically, I did create them, but you get what I mean?

I won’t be rambling anymore, my dear reader. I hope you are ready to read this book with your favourite beverage in your hand. Hopefully, it’s raining as well

Chain of Chaos 0.

Right before my eyes,

epilogue is written, and-

inside my soul

nothing feels warm anymore.

Can you fix it?

Ah,

Right!

No one can.

As the demon stops

to play with my world,

I play back too!

Oh, cursed is my destiny this time,

Nella.

Chapter 1

I AM NOT SURE WHETHER I want to save everyone...

In a slow motion, a needle got through the white man’s skin as the liquid started going through the tube connected to him, the damn whiteness of the place perfectly fitting the patient’s sick skin.

Or kill everyone altogether.

That was a monstrous and uncanny thought that crossed Sophia’s mind almost every day. A young, perhaps not that young, brunette had put yet another person on the IV, doing it with careful, but mechanical movements, just like any other day. She knew each single move of her task by the heart, as well as the reaction that was expected by the patients.

Hospital. A place that had been used to save people’s lives indiscriminately and now... It had become a privilege that only the rich, famous and geniuses could afford without a single worry. The worst thing? It was according to the law. Of course, it was not written or stated exactly like that, but that was the basic meaning of it.

Oh no. Everything was so perfectly packed with fancy words just like another essay that student was about to give in to the teacher. Funny how everyone had neglected and so easily had dismissed the threat of the inevitable destruction so many years ago.

But then again, how could anyone see what the future would look like? Ninety percent of the comments had been dismissing it as yet another meaningless pointless article that had been written by a random person who had too much of a free time on their hands.

Sophia had been guilty of this as well. Sure, there were comments who took the whole threat more seriously, but no one took them seriously to actually do something. Funny how people easily dismissed that warning, even though the whole situation might have turned way better.

After all, we are talking about humans. The smartest species that exists. Or, the dumbest and most corrupted one? For how could no one in the power had warned the world of the Dark Age that they were yet to witness in 2056.

Sophia was guilty of this as well for she had way more important stuff the night she read that article. Her midterms had been approaching, and she, as the most average student that could possibly exist, needed to study her butt off if she wanted to pass the following college exams. So, in pure rush and stress, she closed her laptop and continued studying on the following chapter of ‘The Human Embryology’.

A small cough from the man snapped Sophia out of her daze, and made her look at the middle-aged man in the bed.

Is something the matter? she asked as his black eyes lazily met with hers.

Just something caught in my throat from today’s breakfast.

She made a small nod, and made herself a mental note to be precautious in order not to get herself sick as well, but mentally laughed for she knew that the fact that she was the nurse was a curse, but also a blessing in the same time as well.

EXHAUSTED, BOTH MENTALLY and physically, the poor nurse finally approached the local supermarket, and parked her bicycle at the right place. She regretted not having a car, but then again, she barely had money to afford a living let alone a car. Maybe she could get one of those older versions that required gas? Ah, the driver school certainly would not be free either. Nor the gas. But then, the environment was already polluted as it was even without her. And she could only dream of buying a car that did not infect the air.

She let out another sigh as she got inside the store almost on auto-pilot, ignoring a beggar that asked for money. She had been doing that lately. Numb mind as the shadows danced around, and put her body on auto-pilot.

Taking the basket, she approached the bread section with disappointment, a pang of fear, but certainly no shock.

The prices are getting higher again.

Delicately, she took the cheap and small bread, looking at it with saddened expression. She knew damn well what governments and world leaders were trying to achieve. Slowly, but surely, the rise in prizes of the most essential human food would lead to starvation. Starvation would lead to more inevitable death.

And, of course, it would bring money into someone’s pocket.

For a moment, Sophia felt trapped in the vicious and monstrous cycle of life and death. Like a controlled lab rat. Except this one could think.

And feel.

Feel the hopelessness and sadness holding tight onto her very soul.

She placed the bread into the basket, and continued with her shopping. She had no time for those feels and useless thoughts.

Hey, those small tricks just might solve overpopulation problem! Decreasing the world population seems like the only answer at this point.

But, Dad! I am still hungry! A high-pitched tone caught Sophia’s attention, as she turned around to see a small brown-haired girl, tugging at the hem of her parent’s shirt, looking at them with pleading look in their eyes. The girl reminded her of a lost and starving puppy at the park.

I am sorry, sweety, but Daddy has no money. You have to be happy with what you have got, the man replied as a serene smile crossed his face. Daddy will find a way to get more food, promise.

Suddenly, Sophia was quite grateful for the job she had. Although she could not help but feel just a tad guilty for every time she had thrown away a piece of food when she was a kid or when she turned down some leftovers.

This did not satisfy the small girl, but the serious voice of her parent silenced her. Sophia was not stupid for she knew damn well that the man was thinking of theft. She, however, turned around, not blaming the man at all. The most innocent of all crimes, stealing the food for your own family, certainly was to be expected in the world they lived in. Hell, people had been stealing food for their families ever since the beginning of the time.

She licked her dry lips ever so slightly, proceeded to pay for her food, and made her way out. Ah, she, of all people, could not possibly be playing some moral role.

The one who was secretly stealing the medications-

Mom, I am home, she spoke as soon as she got inside the small apartment her mother owned. Well, her mother did own the place. . . on the papers.

Just in order to keep the only parent she was left with alive-

Who? A barely audible whisper left from the other room.

Chapter 2

WITH A SLOW MOTION, the daughter made her way to the other room, and as soon as her mother came into the view, a small smile crossed her face. It was one of those times when she did not know why she smiled either. Her mother had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease five years ago-

Well, not officially diagnosed by the doctor, but Sophia had realized her mother was a book example of Parkinson’s. However, with the fucked-up rules that went by the law-

Kate Wilson was doomed to die in pain.

Kate was not a person who gave up easily for she begged and did everything in her power to get the needed medication, especially then when the Parkinson’s disease with the better medical improvement became the type of disease that could be controlled really well through the person’s life. Of course, with a certain type of exercise, inhibitors and full check-up at least once a week for everyone had different reaction on the medication.

It was during the time when Sophia just got accepted as a full-time nurse in Rechts der Isar Hospital in Munich. She remembered having inner conflict on how she should feel. What had been the right feeling in a time like that? Unemployment became an issue in every country in the world, Germany being no exception, and she was lucky enough to be a practical type of person when it came to her job (not to add that Sophia was in love with her job), but the fact that her mother was doomed to die in pain on the bed one day-

Everything had been so overwhelming.

On one side, Sophia’s mind was screaming in agony for her mother’s fate. She had lost her father to cancer when she was barely seven years old. She had mourned already, thank you very much. Her mother, being a housewife with only high school diploma, had to work three different barely paid jobs just to send Sophia to college and to make a living for both of them. Lucky enough, the college did not cost as much as in the US. Although, Sophia remembered starving sometimes during her college days.

On the other side, she managed to achieve her dream that seemed to be impossible to the world. Sometimes, she genuinely wondered how she managed to have a job she wanted in the world like that. Was it the foolish optimism she had during her younger years? Hard work? Only heavens could answer that question.

Sophia looked up, her soft brown eyes meeting the white room with yellow straps, and familiar smell of it. She spotted her parent comfortably sitting on the bed, looking outside the window, her once green and full-of-life eyes seemed so lifeless, but in the same time so sad, gloomy, as if they were a dimension of the different world, which had ended in the most brutal way one could imagine.

Who are you? How old are you? Sophia spoke with a pang of sorrow in her voice as she approached Kate’s bed, and sat on the chair that was next to it. Those were the typical questions that she would ask her mother ever since the very first symptoms started showing. Sophia knew damn well that people never appreciated their brain cells or cared enough for their health.

The irony... the brunette thought to herself as she remembered what kind of person Kate had been while she was healthy. Cold, but full of love, collected, yet passionate, forever optimistic in the cruel world that had never been nice to her. The woman that everyone admired. The woman that every female was jealous of and wanted to be like, while each man wanted Kate to be his. Sophia lost a count of how many times she rejected their proposals due to the fact that she was already married and had a child. In the end, even after many years after the loss of her husband, Kate did not care to try herself in love ever again. Perhaps, Sophia’s father really was the one for Kate. Her heart died when he died. Even though-

Her jobs were everything to her. That was one of the most beautiful things about her mother and Sophia greatly admired her because of that. She liked to work hard. It never mattered what jobs Kate had to do, but she would still greet her daughter with a smile on her face. Even though the old woman was a very strict and cold mother to the young girl ever since she gave birth to her, she was still someone that poor nurse admired and loved so deeply for everything she had done to her. She knew Kate wanted nothing but the best for her. That was what Sophia wanted to believe. Always having everything under control-

And now...

Kate was nothing more but a ghost of a shadow that once had existed, someone who would appear only for a few moments when her disease let her be her true self, and no new personality that was a creation of her illness.

Eliza! I’m seven years old! the sick woman exclaimed, wanting to raise up her hands, but since she was being tied up to the bed due to her weak body, she pouted, which would have been so cute if it was not sombre in the same time. She looked up to Sophia who was trying her best to be strong and collected and not cry in front of her. She bowed her head and hid the tears that were so close-

Why is Miss being sad? Kate asked with her eyes slightly widened in a worry that only a child could show to someone.

There was nothing that could possibly trigger Sophia to be happy once again, that would help her to lie to herself by saying ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I’m happy’ to the world around her, and little by little, she would have started believing her own lies, her own fake optimism as well.

The hazel-haired girl shook her head rapidly, strands of her hair sliding out her loose ponytail as she surpassed the tears which were threatening to slide down her cold cheeks, and expose her vulnerability to her mother.

It was not the fact that she did not want to cause the scene in front of her, but the fact that there was no way in hell she would cry around anyone. Her mother was no exception. Sophia always had this imaginary Chinese wall between her and the world. Sometimes she had wondered when exactly it had appeared...

Perhaps, it was built out of sorrow and despair-

Out of utter hopelessness that Sophia despised yet was so weak when faced with everything-

Maybe I would feel better if I did not have to face her every day.

Chapter 3

MONSTER-

Would that be a proper word to describe how Sophia felt at the sudden hypothetical thought of just letting her mother die in order to make herself feel better?

But then again-

It would not only benefit her but Kate as well, right? It certainly would be easier to fall into the eternal abyss of darkness than all of the suffering she had to endure as an ill person.

!!!

No!

No!

Kate Wilson, although ill and a huge mental and emotional burden to Sophia, was still a person.

Somewhere deep down in her mind, she was still there-

Just what gave Sophia right to be entitled to take life of another human? Let alone her mother’s life. Instead, she would fight. She would keep stealing medications every now and then-

She would commit as much crimes as needed to keep her mother alive.

For her mother. . .was one of a very few people Sophia was left with in this dim world that people called Earth.

I will turn on the TV for you, Mom, she said emotionless, as her eyes searched for the remote, but had a hard time finding it. Sometimes, she really wished she had one of those advanced TVs that could turn on and off with voice. She knew there was an option