Best Cocky and Funny Lines -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Brace yourselves men, this is going to be a doozy...

Hiring / firing girls Telling them they look like trouble and Giving them #'s You're bad girls, aren't you? You're a dork! You don't get out much, do you? You're cute, like my little sister. We are broken up. I guess I'm moving out, who's going to take care of the cat and dogs? She drops/spills/etc. something, "This is why we can't have nice things." If she drops something I will say "it's ok, you dont have to be nervous", this 100 percent of the time gets a laugh When I beat them at thumbwars... "OMG you suck at this, but you can cook right?" *punch* 'Anymore of that, and I gonna have to charge you...and you know what?' Her: What? Me: '(lean into her ear and lower your voice)...you couldn't afford me' "Seriously if you dont stop hitting on me, i'm getting a restraining order" "There is nothing about you a complete personality change couldnt fix." She says anything sarcastic, playfull, or sassy. You To target: "I don't know who your boyfriend is, but he is not spanking you enough" or You to Group: "I don't know who her BF is, but he's not spanking her enough" Works well both ways, I prefer groups b/c she'll see her friends laughing and it demonstrates social proof. You'll definitely get a punch, and if delivered at the right time she'll be begging you to spank her. BUT be careful it's not a **** test. Credit: Lance (Sensei) from pickup 101 If she screws up or is cold or whatever.. "Well, aren't you charming" Done with a little Sean Connary style HB: You're sooo mean..you're gonna regret you said/did this CD: what are you gonna do? date me? CD: Have I ever told you how helpful/creative you are?

HB: (confused look) no CD: well...there is a reason for that HB: Have a nice day CD: Don't tell me what to do! We just met 5 minutes ago and you already ordering me around I can't remember who came up with this originally, but I give girls those little sticky gold stars they put on papers in kindergarten when they do something I like. Later, I find an excuse to take them away. Great for initiating light kino, plus my pivots think it's hysterical. Got an oldie, if she does something bad or just accuse her of being bad and tell her "you are getting coal for Xmas this year young lady for sure" I bet you have a real cute side somewhere. You just don't show it." When she throws, drops something or especially when you "accidentally" bump into her... (smiling) "Jesus! I could've been killed!" Don't get you hopes up. I'm not easy You better be getting back to your friends before they realize you're over here flirting with me. But before you go... (awsome time constraint) "You know, you're a cool/good/nice girl, despite what everyone else says about you." If she calls you a name or teases you, say "My mom's told me worse." (This could come off as self-depricating, but I do it in more of a "There's no way you can offend me, no matter how hard you try" attitude) From that, you can transition into stuff like this: "Go ahead, try to offend me. Do your worst. Call my mom a slut. Tell me to **** off. Come on, DO IT!!" (playfully of course) Sometimes she'll do it and it will be lame, so tell her it was weak and to put some emotion behind it. When she does, pretend to get offended. "Oh now you took it too far. I'm not talking to you anymore") Then you can go into "I'm breaking up with you" etc. In general I like to pour gasoline on the fire when we're having an argument. Suggest taking it to a physical level "Wanna take this outside?". Even funnier if you're already outside. "You think you can take me? I doubt it." "I don't hit girls, but I will tickle you until you pee your pants." Good transition into tickling her, wrestling on the ground, you get the idea. While talking on the phone with a mutual acquaintance, say "Do you want to talk to (girl's name)?" Then pretend like the person on the phone is **** talking her. "What do you mean you don't want to talk to that *****?" "Well yea, she is kind of a ***** sometimes. I see your point." This can go on for a while. Works similarly when someone is handing you the phone. Say "Hell no I don't want to talk to her. You know I can't stand that girl.", etc. Make sure you say this close to the phone so the girl can hear you. Fun way to escalate kino: "Do you get a good sound?" Start drumming your hands on various parts of her body. Head is good. Remark on the acoustics, playfully tease her. "Oh I don't know, your head doesn't have a very full tone. I don't know if I could be with a girl

who's head sounds like that." Take away points, demote her to number 3, or whatever. "You seem very pokeable". Poke her. If you want to do a take away, say something like "Eh, maybe a little." I like doing stuff like this, "Your hair seems very pullable/yankable", "Your shoulder looks delicious." Bite her on the shoulder. "What does your hair taste like?" Put it in your mouth. It's probably best to do takeaways if you're escalating the kino. Get your hands wet, get behind her, and pretend to sneeze while splashing water on the back of her neck. One of my personal favorites is to inform the girl who has been whinny, complaining that I am to mean etc. is that there are three types of girls in this world. The first type of girl hates me because of my sarcasm. The second type takes my sarcasm passively. And the third, and most desireable (the most desireable part I have found to be crucial) takes my sarcasm and dishes it back. Then I ask, "so what are you type 1?" At this point they forget why they were mad at me and try to "prove" to me that they are type 3 by dishing things back. It's a great way to shift the energy while you are bantering if she starts being lame. good reply for a **** test... "looks like someone put their crankypants on this morning" From my notes, not mine and not sure who to credit: Hey, are you the kind of person that can take a sincere compliment from a stranger? So am I. Go ahead. You know what, I think you'd make a nice new girlfriend. Wait a minute. Can you cook? [YES--Awesome. NO--We're broken up then, but wait.] Are you rich, because I want to be a stay-at-home husband? [YES--We're back together. NO--We're broken up then, but wait.] Etc Another version of TD's SP: "You're a sexual predator [MISINTERPRETATION as if she is trying to pick you up] I'm not that kind of guy. I'm not gonna go back to your house to "[finger quotes] check out your stereo" or your "stamp collection" or whatever. I need trust, comfort, and connection first. " Definitely will get a punch You're either the coolest girl I've met in a long time, or you're a total weirdo, I can't tell. Probably a little bit of both. (Credit TD I think but not sure) Women: you can't live with them...no, that's pretty much it.

If chick is being whiny, *****y, or even if you just feel like busting on her. her: (whine) me (teasing, playful c/f): Oooh, someone call the guards, Princess isn't happy...did Princess (insert anything) last night? Stop it Youre looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger. Youre getting me all emotional I promised my friends I wouldnt go home with anyone tonight. You guys are bad girls. I have to watch out for you. You guys are trouble. Youre cool, you can help me pick up chicks. Is she ALWAYS like this? Youre like my little sister. Lovable, but a little annoying. This place is such a meat market. I hate how the girls look at me here; like Im a piece of meat. "If you were any slower you would be going backwards in time" This one only works if the girl doesn't say please or thankyou at the end of a sentence, any sentence. HB: Would you hold my bag for a sec while I go to the loo?" PUA: (In a very slow, deliberate voice, like a primary school teacher to a student) - now what do we normally say at the end of a sentence, when we ask someone to do something for us? HB: ...Please. PUA: Now lets try that sentence again, shall we? HB: Would you.... please? PUA: No. then wink, or say what you would normally say to a similar **** test like that. If a girl gets excited while telling a story, or gets really loud, or if she trips, or bumps into someone or you.... basically if she does any kind of abrupt movement etc.. I would always say: "Whoa, eeeaaasy killer." say it in a cool-ass laid back manner. If a girl spills something/breaks something etc... I like to say: "Man, I can't take you anywhere" I like, "Easy tiger." I was having some banter with a colleague and this one came out: (said in a very condescending tone) It's OK, don't worry- the truth will set you free... A variation: It's alright, admitting it is the 1st step To be used if she denies anything, like if she claims

she doesn't find you attractive... I used this on hired gun bartender HB8 and it worked well: She was already giving major IOI's and kino-ing me: Me: "Ooops, I did it again..." (with serious tone) HB8: "did what?" Me: "I played with your heart, got lost in the game, I made you believe we're more than just friends!" --say it with C/F tone, don't sing it. HB8: LOL, smiles and punches me. I read this banter on this thread and it's one my favorites now with revision. Works great since most girls wear tight shirts and jeans: Me: I love those tight little shirts you girls wear, did you get it at Baby Gap? HB: shocked but then laughs. Me: kept referring to her as Baby Gap all night and she loved it. It's not too mean b/c they see it as a compliment since they can fit in small clothes. This HB had on these shiny star-shaped earrings: Me: I like those star-shaped earrings. Did you get it from the My Little Pony collection? HB: grins then laughs... If they bump into something, or bump their arm on a table/chair whatever. . . "Come on now, be smarter than the table." If she says someting feisty "That / This is the LAST time I let you out unsupervised" "Run along now - this is man conversation..." Or if she butts in between me and my boy I go "quiet you........ the men are talking." Always punch material "Another blonde moment?", "I didn't think you were a natural red head/brunette etc", "and you chose that hair colour?" "You've been at the peroxide again", "Hanging around too many blondes will rub off on you you know" I do this too. Offering them a sippy cup if they spill their drink is fun, or asking the bartender for one for her. Thats awesome I gotta try that. One of my favorites is when she says something slightly witty or mentions something about herself thats somewhat quailty during MMA2. I'd say "Wow thats like + 5 points right there.....cause you were like at negative 32....... you really needed that" and look like you're proud of her. Always gets that "Ugh! You jerk" playful kino thing going. =P I have started giving and taking away gold and silver stars from girls. Also my boy told this tonight so credit him (he posts here just dont know his sn)

Compare a girls worth to a stock based on her actions. Tell her stock just went up a little or went down little. Awesome ****, especially for nyc where there are so many traders and financial people. If she really acts fiesty you can be like "uh oh, stock is about to crash, i better sell what i have left of you." Similarly reward her if she behaves. If we're being playfully sarcastic or witty, I'll say "Why do you say these things to hurt me", And the good ol reliable "You're the worst girlfriend EVER"! "I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. " "I'm really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me. " "It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. " After she says something dumb, "You know, it's a good thing you're pretty." I always get that playful punch in the arm. In a similar vein I will tell girls 'once your looks go you're going to be in trouble' When some chick is busting on you, respond with, "Damn, it's a good thing I have such high self esteem. That could've really hurt my feelings." Or if you've been running the C&F hard and it's obvious you're a totally self assured bastard, you can reply with the opposite. "OMG, as if my self esteem wasn't low enough as it is." If you've already conveyed higher status than her, you'll only be reminding her how impregnable your self esteem actually is and you'll force her IOI's. I've had girls respond with, "Yeah right, you're the most confident guy I've ever met." This is something like the equivilant of a guy telling a girl, "You've got the biggest tits I've ever seen." Some girl was just telling me she felt to lazy to go smoke a cigarette and I replied: "Attractive, you're really the pick of the litter huh?" Anytime i get the punch I am like that one's postable! lol (i like amusing myself) if a girl ever puts up a smiley (like on aim) with it's tongue sticking out I respond "put away that tongue unless you plan to use it" - Your fly's down - I know your type - My mother warned me about girls like you

- You remind me of one of those little Precious Moments dolls (Credit to Bang Bros) - Guys like me are over-rated - You already had your chance with me - Who lit the fuse on your tampon? - I'm sorry, did I skip the part where I try to impress you? - That's not gangster - Wow, I'm impressed. Hey everyone, let's all give *name* a round of applause (Another credit to Bang Bros) Her: Would you... (asking for favor) You: Do fish have nipples? Her: Nice hair You: Thanks, I grew it myself While shes talking (better in group) Her:bla bla bla You: Thats very, veeery interesting ''yawn'' This is a great one to use when they're overselling themselves. My version goes like this: Yawn loudly and then make your yawns progressively longer and louder until you get that "how rude!" look or a hit on the arm and then follow up with "No, no please continue - I ALWAYS yawn when I'm interested!" If (when) she does it again pretend to drift off to sleep and follow up with "I'm sorry I was having a lovely dream!" "Did you spike my drink?" "No, no please continue I often slip into a coma when I'm REALLY interested!" I'm sorry for talking while you were interrupting Said in child's voice "you like me, I'm telllllllllllinngggg" been using that one alot lately. "this relationship is on the fence!" or "you're sleeping on the couch tonight!" I told a girl that she wants me and she respodned magic 8 balls says outlook not so good, try again later. WOW! Anything magic 8 ball related probably works really well (probably need the exact phrasing though) HAHAHAHAHA! Instant ****-test dispeller for any situation. Here are the 20 standard responses from the 8-ball toy: * Signs point to yes. * Yes. * Most likely. * Without a doubt.

* Yes - definitely. * As I see it, yes. * You may rely on it. * Outlook good. * It is certain. * It is decidedly so. * Reply hazy, try again. * Better not tell you now. * Ask again later. * Concentrate and ask again. * Cannot predict now. * My sources say no. * Very doubtful. * My reply is no. * Outlook not so good. * Don't count on it. And so that I'm actually contributing something new, I'll add something entirely different below. she tells a story about something naughty or bad she did:"you know what, i like you. i dont care what the men's room wall says about u." with a sad shake of the head "kids these days...." - I say this to any age. "have you been experimenting with your dosage?" I just threw one out on a conversation it went something like this: HB: blah blah something incredibly stupid blah blah M: WOW!(really impressed). You deserve a medal for that. (very sarcastically) M: BUT you get silver, not gold. If you gamed her well so far she will definately ask why silver not gold. This is where you can say something along the lines of "because you do x". let x = behaviour, habit. I know it makes no sense but it works. Then you can tease her further creating an inside joke (comfort). If she asks you how does that make sense you say "i told you already, you should have listened!" If she says something stupid: "I don't know what you'er on but i am sure they offer treatment / have rehab for it" or "I don't know what you're on but i will take two of them" Whenever I accuse a girl of liking me and she playfully denies, I respond with: "Yeah right, you're totally going to write about me in your diary tonight. It's going to be all like..." (said in a girly voice) "DEAR DIARY, I MET THIS TOTALLY CUTE GUY NAMED <your name> TODAY, HE'S REALLY COOL AND SMART AND FUNNY, AND I HOPE HE LIKES ME

BECAUSE I TOTALLY LIKE HIM! BUT I CAN'T TELL ANYONE BECAUSE BOYS HAVE COOTIES! HEART SMILEY FACE <her name>!" Cue the laughing & arm-punching. If she starts talking crazy "we are doing this, or omg this, or blah blah blah" you respond "I want my money back!! I didnt sign up for this!!!" Banter from a t-shirt I saw a girl wearing in the gym today Look I would love to agree with you But I hate being wrong I keep on interrupting a girl then when she trys to carry on talking I say "Oh my god, stop talking when I'm trying to interrupt". Usually end up following up with "Whoa fiesty" but it depends what she says. When she looks at you at any time, "Don't look at me in that tone of voice" AMOG: *tries to hug you or touch you in any way* PUA: Whoa, I'm not yet comfortable enough in your masculinity... "Yeah, well you know, you're very good looking... the thing about good looking people, people don't like us" - said with a wink and sarcasm - so money this is a guaranteed smack on the arm. when she DHVs or tells you smth about herself, "well, i guess i could live with that... it wont be easy though." or if she complains she's fat or that she had a bad hair day or smth along those lines "i didnt want to say anything!" I've been waiting so long to use this banter from Styles video that I'll probably blow it. Its funny even if, like Style says, it doesn't make sense. The girl has to throw back strong banter: PUA "I eat girls like you for breakfest" HB "Well, I eat guys like you for lunch" PUA "That's cool, I'm not hungry anyway". This illustrates real mastery--you banter, she equals you, and THEN you still come through with a badass response. If you don't have one, and she bests you: PUA "Respect!" (tap fist to heart, nod head). Give her a hug/kino I think the "I'm saving the world one XXX at a time" works.

I'm saving the world one drunk girl at a time I'm saving the world one troublemaking blonde at a time I'm saving the world one powerpuff girl at a time. Etc Whenever a girl tries to make you jump through a hoop or says something to throw you.. "Look [name], don't play hard to get with me... it was cute at first... but we both know i'm better at it" Her- something stupid You- *raise eyebrow and laugh*... ok, you've just lost your talking privileges for the next hour/rest of the night/whatever time. Anyone: (answers question wrong) PUA: No, but thanks for playing! "you say funny stuff sometimes.. thats not one of em, but sometimes you say funny stuff" or "your funny sometimes, not right now, but sometimes you are!" I've used both and they work great. You are comparing her to something you can say your like the diet version. He said you're evil but not evil like I thought... more like the diet evil. That's hilarious (credit Braddock.) A girl at work tried to interrupt a conversation I was having. Me: It's rude to interrupt adults when they're talking. Girl: What Guy: Time for you to get a watch. time is it?

an easy one i have used which is very simple but works brilliantly is simply this: As you call her to chat/ arrange a date, whatever say hi etc etc etc but about 30 seconds into the conversation say "sorry gimme 2 minutes my mates just turned up with... (whatever excuse you want, i always say new puppy, new kitten something like that) ... i'll call you back in a couple of minutes." This is brilliant, not only will she be thinking of puppies and kittens but also she will be waiting for you to call her, hanging on the phone just to hear about it and talk to you. I normaly wait about 20-30 min. There expecting it to be 10-15 min so lets them get a little anxious like you forgot to ring them back.

I thought that If I start writing some of my most common used C&F Lines, the other people will add up their own, which would be very cool, so we'll learn a bit from each other. It's important to remember to capitalize on every situation that you can. It's also important to remember that you can CREATE these situations. Ok, let's roll to it... * If she says something that can be related to sex, make fun of it. She says: Let's do it/ Give it to me/ I want it so bad/ Do it for me/ Stick it in/ I want you to press against it/ Feel me right here/ I wanna do it You respond: With a fake shock on your face, saying: You mean right here, right now? I'd rather if you take me out to eat first. * If she happens to hit you, because you "accidentally" hit her or made fun of her Say: OUCH! (Exxagerate) I hope you have a good lawyer Im suing you She hits you again laughing I'm suing you for sexual harrassment too. * If she is walking and sees something she likes, or you say something and she says "How cute!!" You say: I know I am, I try She says: No, not you, that doggy/story/gift/etc You say: Fine, Don't even expect me to be/look cute next time you see me. * If she says something like Shut up/ Stop it/ Get away/ I don't like you/ No, I'm not paying for your dinner/ You take me out/ I'm broke/ etc You say: You know what? We are breaking up She may say either two things: Oh no, please don't, I love you dearly. If this is the case you say: "Oh yes, we are" "If you ever wanna get back with me, you should be rich by then" Or she may say "We are not even together!!" You say "That's just another reason to end it"

* You square up to her, make a fist playfully and say: "What? You wanna fight?" She says: Bring it on!/ Don't make me kick your ass/ etc

You say: Fine, we'll fight, so after that we can have make up sex/kiss/cuddling She laughs Just kidding, we don't need to fight to do that Laughs even harder

* Wanna go to the movies/ dinner/ starbucks/ iceskating? She says: Sure You say: Cool, you pay She says: No, you pay You say: Oh no mizz, all my girlfriends pay for me She says: well, I'm not your girlfriend, so how is that? You say: We may pretend you're my girlfriend, but no, you can't kiss me

* Nice shoes/ shirt/ rings/ belt You say: Stop flirting with me!

* In the moment where you're meeting her... You say: You know, it's very few the times where you meet such a beautiful person She says: Aww, thank you You smile sarcastically and say: I was talking about me (with a lil tap on the shoulder) * If you notice that she has the same phone as you, before she's seen yours, You say: Can I see your phone really quick? She gives it. You say with a serious romantic voice: You know, since the moment I saw you, I knew you and I had something in common She goes like "WTF" in her mind Then you pull out your phone and say: The same phone.

* If she's short Say, "Man, you're short" She laughs, or get mad You say "I usually date women taller than me" She laughs or gets mad You say "But, I'll make an exception this time, so feel special and loved" She only laughs * Whenever you guys are out to eat, order one big thing and one small thing (Specially drinks or starbucks) Walk up to her or sit with her, and make it seem like you're giving her the big one, then cross your arm so you end up drinking the big one; like when your arms and her arms are crossed (Get it?) This is very cocky & funny, and great way to kino. Well that's it for now