Memories of the Beautifully Flawed

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Appreciation of Beauty: Memories of the Beautifully Flawed
By Stacey Ann Voshell
Positive Psychology
Dr. Hopper










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Introductions
Taking the VIA Institutes questionnaire on strengths, I received, Appreciation of Beauty
as my top character strength. This to me seems as no surprise until I looked deeper into what it
meant to have Appreciation of Beauty as a personal strength. As the semester moved on, many
things have happened. For time never remains still for anyone. This is a look into my own
personal evolution. My own personal acknowledgment of my own personal life lessons, which
have helped me to transcend and reach beyond the face value of the world I live in. Will
demonstrate this by adding blocks to my pyramid which demonstrate why I have appreciation as
a personal strength.
This paper is not only dedicated to the appreciation of beauty, but the appreciation of
ones beautiful flaws. Seeing more than just skin deep, is a saying that tends to be said a lot.
The question is, are people bullshitting you. In this paper I will go over the definitions of
appreciations of beauty, some paragons and prodigies, how class activities related to this
strength, Maslows Hierarchy of needs, my own journey of enlightenment, and why I have
appreciation of beauty for a personal strength. This is my ongoing personal journey of being
more.
Definitions
The appreciation of anything can be complicated. To even begin to understand
appreciation of beauty I sought out the definition. While, looking into this character strength of
Appreciation of Beauty, I came across the word Aesthetics. Aesthetics can be defined as a
philosophical branch of theory as discussed in Character Strengths and Virtues by Peterson, C. &
Seligman, M. E. P. (P. 535, 2004). That can further be broken into theories on literature, music,
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film, and art. The definition given by the Merriam and Webster Dictionary Online calls
Aesthetics, appreciative of, responsive to, or zealous about the beautiful; also: responsive to or
appreciative of what is pleasurable to the senses. This rings in my head as I continue on in this
search for understanding of my character strength. What is pleasurable to the senses holds a lot
of meaning in my life. As I continue in my search I will address personal examples that may
have led to the development of the appreciation of beauty.
Peterson, C. & Seligman, M. E. P. also directly defines appreciation of beauty as the
ability to find, recognize, and take pleasure in the existence of goodness in the physical and
social field, (P.532, 2004). This further strengthens the thought that life experiences can have a
large factor in to how this strength is developed. I know that my life has been a long road of
obstacles, triumphs and defeats, but each portion is evidence to who I am today. Just as
Peterson, C & Seligman, M. E. P. discussed in their book the paragons and prodigies and how
they show appreciation of beauty as a strength with in them.
Paragons of this strength: Marylyn Monroe & Alfred Nobel
Another way to put meaning into what it means to have appreciation of beauty is to look at the
lives of Alfred Noble and Marilyn Monroe (p. 522, 2004). Both represent to very different sides
to the strength of appreciation of beauty. Marilyn Monroe was the representation of beauty for
her time. Marilyn Monroe was a young woman whom struggled through life and became an
icon. Then you look at Alfred Nobel. He helped bring the Nobel Peace Prize to acknowledge
and appreciate the good works and accomplishments of others.

A prodigy of this strength: Anne Frank
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Another well-known person discussed in the reading by Peterson, C, & Seligman, M. E.
P. was a young girl by the name of Anne Frank (p. 522, 2004). For me Annes story hit the
closest to my own and how I am going about to build my pyramid of strength in appreciation of
beauty. Anne Frank will be forever known for the diary she wrote during World War II as she
hid from the German Nazis who were trying to eradicate the Jewish people. Her young life was
filled with so many struggles just to stay alive. Her journal the only reflection left into her
world. Who better than Anne Frank to show us the appreciation of the time she had before the
Nazis darkened her door.
Class Assignments & Personal Evolution
Here I want to take time to look at several class activities and how they relate to my
strength of Appreciation of Beauty. There were many activities throughout this semester. The
ones that really grab my attention were mindful eating, letter of gratitude, laughter yoga, &
hearing comments from my friends. Here I would like to tie the activating not only to how one
can be more appreciative of the beauty around us, but their impact on me. These activities
further demonstrate why appreciation of beauty is one of my strengths.
Mindful Eating: Beyond the food using all senses
A reoccurring theme that has been showing up in my research has been the art of
mindfulness and how it goes hand in hand with appreciation of beauty. I feel that having an
open mind is a step towards being able to truly appreciate anything in life. In class we
participated in an activity called mindful eating. In this exercise we were give several items of
food and the challenge was to savor and experience the food. This technique can be utilized in
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so many ways. For example the weather outside, the company of a friend, or time spent with a
family member. We were given a piece of pretzel, grape, apple, cheese, and chocolate.
During this activity we broke each item of food down. First, looking at it visually and
describing it as if we had no idea what it was. Then we described it by smell, and then taste.
This was only the beginning of the adventure into a realm unexplored. It was a real challenge to
look at the pretzel, that you know what it is, but are unable to use its name. The two food items
that stuck with me the most were the cheese and the pretzel. My favorite one to take time with
was chocolate, but the pretzel and the cheese hold a lot weight when it comes to truly
appreciating something. So many people in class commented on how savoring the cheese had
ruined it. That letting it warm in our the mouths, brought about an unpleasant taste. For me a
farm girl it was no surprise because of how cheese is made. There have been so many times that
I have ruined some ones love for cottage cheese by stating that it is curdled milk. Why would
cheese be any different?
The first item we worked on was the pretzel. What was truly interesting was we started
on the outside and worked our way in. Describing a pretzel, I called it a two inch piece of a
brown stick. Observing the pretzel you can see that no matter which one you look at they are
each unique and different. They had bumps and pointy white pieces to them. At some points
you could also call it smooth. With a snap you break the stick and see that it is lighter on the
inside and porous. Looking at it you can dwell upon how it was created and the unique process
as a whole. Next you smelled it and there is nothing, but a hint of sour and pungent odor. It was
the smell of bread ingredients; it was the smell of yeast.
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The next part of the activity was to take a small bit and savor the taste and the mechanics
of your mouth. Here was another piece that really rang in my mind. Later in life my grandfather
lost his ability to taste. For me that is practically unimaginable. From things like Mt. Dew, to
my grandmothers cooking, these are all precious to me. To further show experience with
appreciation, there is also my great uncle Joey. I watched him not only lose his taste, but his
ability to eat. Joey would be diagnosis would be cancer. His cancer was everywhere. Like my
grandfather, Joey had not only his voice box removed, but slowly he lost his lower jaw and the
cancer spread throughout his tummy. At the end of Joeys life he had to drink his meals through
a straw. I was witness to this throughout the last few month of his life. This adds another
pyramid block to my strength of appreciation of beauty.
Gratitude Letter: Value of the Expression
For me this was an activity a long time coming. To write a letter of gratitude to a friend,
Samantha Meyer, that has been there for throughout my whole life. She has been their through
my triumphs and my blunders. Sam is the one person that knew me so well, and on this day I
would reveal all to her. I would pour my heart and soul into this one letter in a hopes that she
may understand the important she has had in my life.
In my letter I started out how we first met. As a child, I lived on a farm several miles
outside of Guttenberg, Iowa. So, my social life was real small. I played every once in a while
with my neighbor a half a mile down the road. So when Sam and I became friends, it meant the
world to me. She was my first and truest friend. The biggest event in my childhood was in the
6
th
grade. Sam and I were in the Multi-Purpose room in the Guttenberg Elementary School. The
girl that had been bulling me most of my childhood was standing before me and putting me
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down. Sam stood behind me and I had lost it. I was so tired of being put down and made fun of.
She called me pickle most of the time because of the green tank top. I didnt have a lot as a
child, so what little I did have meant the world to me. Most of my long life I lived with my
grandparents because my parents didnt have the money to live on our own. She was her
Grandpas shadow and he did what he could to provide for his little tinker butt, stated my
grandmother when I interviewed her on where I got my appreciation from, this is another block
in my pyramid of transcendence.
On that day, I had a decision to make. Either to punch my bully in the face as I said I
would or walk away as my friend asked of me. I will never forget the day she took my hand and
pulled me from that room. That was the day I knew we would be friends forever. I went over all
of the good times with her and all of the bad. The day I was beyond scared as she was bucked
from a horse as her saddle snapped. That hurt like hell and my lip got caught on my braces and
I was bleeding all over the god damn place, she chuckled with me as I spoke about the moment
with her in my letter. I expressed to her how scared I was that day. I wasnt your fault, it was
the goddamn horse, she stated and smiled. I discussed all times she has been their through thick
and thin. I even came out and let her know that I was bi-sexual in this letter. Weeks later, she
stated to me, that she never realized that I was half gay, but she sees it now and still loves me for
me. We both broke out in laughter about this.
In true Sam fashion at the end of my letter, she said, I love you, you shithead. We were
both crying and laughing at the same time. This was a truly special moment that because of this
class I will always have on video. With that in mind, I think back to all of the pictures I take and
how there are snap shots in time. After this activity, I started a journal to go with pictures I take.
Its moments like these that we need to hang on to, in order fend off the bad. Some people look
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at videos and picture as bad things, when in contrary they are memories. Just as the pictures I
showed in my Prezi. The letter of gratitude was a look at the beauty in conversation, friendship,
and emotion.
Laughter Yoga
The next activity I want to talk about is the laughter yoga. This activity was particularly
hard for me. Most of the time I am a huge jokester, but in a group of people I am unfamiliar with
I was actually scared. The best part of laughter yoga is that laughter is contagious. The exercise
we were doing was fun and served as an icebreaker as well. In this activity we did many things
to make one another laugh. The best part came when two of the men in class embodied the
gorilla and were playing around with one another.
The men grunted and shuffled after one another. The rest of the group was taken by
hysterical laughter. A simple thing that we do every day, a simple thing that is taken for granted.
Earlier last year I finally got up the nerve and went to see a doctor. For me many times my
laughter and free spirit was forced out to hide the pain that I had with in. Last summer I went
and saw Sue Amundsen, of Medical Associates. That day she would diagnosis me with Major
Depressive Disorder, from my life experiences and history of being abused to the recent loss of
my grandfather to the stress of taking his place for my grandmother had finally taken its toll.
For me laughter was difficult at that time. I was wearing a mask, my consoler had
stated to me one day, how long before you will take it off, she asked. For the first time in a
while that mask was placed back on my face, but for different reasons. This activity helped me
blend that mask back into a part of me. How many other people are in this world caring a similar
weight as mine, and have not sought help. The question is how many Americans, have sought
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help and how many still wear their mask, unable to truly partake in laughing their cares away.
That is just what laughter yoga is Zen for the mind, body, and soul.
Maslows Hierarchy
One of the biggest points that I took from the reading and my research was that of the
pyramid of needs develop by Abraham Maslow. Maslows pyramid consisted of a persons
needs. The physical, safety, love & belonging, and self-esteem, once these needs are met a
person can transcend these needs and reach self-actualization. For me I have encountered low
points with each of these levels. That is why my experiences are blocks to a pyramid. Each
event that I have shared from my life are the block that are build my pyramid to my character
strength of appreciation of beauty.
Needs
The first level of Maslows hierarchy of needs is the basic needs of food, water, shelter,
and warmth, called the physical needs. The next level of needs are the security, stability, and
freedom from fear, called safety. After safety, there is the level of love and belonging, which
consists of family, friends, spouse, and lover. Then there is Self-Esteem which consists of
achievement and mastery, recognition, and respect. Finally there is the Self-Actualization and its
block of pursue inner talent, creativity, and fulfilment (p.544, 2004).
Self-Enlightenment
Now as I ties all of these lose treads into one another, I want to validate where I come
from and why I have the strength of appreciation of beauty. When talking about mindfulness
and taking in family and friends, I have felt the whole of loss from the loss of a loved one, to
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losing a client, to losing things that you hold most dear. On December 20
th,
2011 I received a
phone call that I had been expecting, but one that I knew that I would never be prepared for. On
that day, I loss one of the most important people in my life, the man that protected me from
being beat by my step-dad on so many occasions, the man that always have a stern word of
wisdom in all of my mistakes. The man that I looked up too and someday wanted to make him
proud. He is one of the last cowboys of his time. He was my protector, he was a provided, he
was the one I confided in, my best friend, and my worst enemy, my father figure, and he was my
grandpa.
For the last ten years I know this day would come. It all started with his voice. One day
he came home and told grandma and I that he had cancer. The doctors would need to remove his
voice box and that he would have a stoma. During this time in my life I lived with my mother
and her husband, my uncle. I was unable to see my grandfather a lot at this time. All I really
wanted was to record his wonderful voice. As individuals with the ability to speak, we really do
take it for granted. That year all I wished for was to record his voice before it would be lost
forever. My wish would never come true.
My grandfather had his surgery and I would never be able to hear that deep resounding
voice. His laugher and his stern words would be lost from my ears, normal things that we take
for granted. For the next ten years of my grandfathers life he would speak with his fingers
pressed to his stoma or the buzzer thingy. On the good side of things, the bond between my
grandfather and I grew and I became his voice in a lot of cases. I knew my grandfather as well
as I knew my self. So when he needed to communicate, he would speak or write to me and I
would inform people of his wishes. Even to this day my co-worker and friend tell me that I can
talk crazy (Big finger quotations in the air) and speak to anyone off the street. The strongest gift
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that I received from my grandfather was a small ability to read people. From the schizophrenic
client that is discussing shadow projection and evil spirits, to clients who struggle with speaking
due to cerebral palsy.
There are so many reasons to be appreciative. On some days we think of them, but do we
really do them. The one best demonstration I have for my appreciation of beauty is the walk I
take around at work. This is truly my Zen time. A time I can leave the confines at work and
speak to the spirits and the stars. It brings a calming peace to me.
I really wanted to show this more than anything else, but due to HIPPA I cant video my
route because it is at work. I always start at the clients smoker door. And walk towards the
pound that lies several yards down the hill. I round the first corner and look to the left and see
the rugged brick of the building. My eyes look higher and see a flurry of bug flying around the
light. Sometimes you never really know what you might find here. As I continue to walk I hit
the parking lot and walk around to the front entrance of the building. Here I take a moment to
look at the flag flying high and continue on. The walk way veers to the left and follows the road
to the back of the building. The area before me is at times filled with green grass or as it is today
filled with snow. My particularly favorite time is in the summer. The smell of fresh air, gentling
touching your skin, to the sparkle of the dew crested grass in the rising sun.
Here I take a moment to really take in the grass and it beauty. For each blade holds a tiny
spark given it to it by the rays of the sun, in a process called photosynthesis. No one blade like
the other. Completely unique in color & height, green is my favorite color for so many reasons
and this is one of them. As I continue along at time I may walk it in the evening and watch the
sunset. At other times I watch the sun rise or the moon float across the sky. There is nothing
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more soothing than basking in the light of the moon and the sun. As I walk the back of the
building I take in the trees and each of their unique features. The bark of the trees to tree leaves,
trees and some of the most unique. A trait I got from my grandfather whom logged as a
profession. So many times as a child he would take me out side. The best memory was
appreciating the sky as the Indians did. He point out each constellation and it unique pattern.
This was a special time that he and I shared. I feel as if as I walk this very path he walks with
me and remains ever near.
As I continue on taking in the tree and the sky, I begin to round the corner and below my
a few yards down the hill is the pound. Here I see the reflection of the moon or the joyful people
walking below. If the sun is rising I see the smoke stacks make long ropes of clouds that float
off into the sky. This is when my peace filled walk ends. At times when my mind is submerged
in chaos, this walk brings me back. At a slow foot to foot pace that takes fifteen minutes or an
easy walk of five minutes. It is my reprieve from the world.
I feel that not many people can stay that they find Zen at work, but I can. I take Zen from
the tall pine trees, to the stars and moon up above us in the sky, and the pound below. Each
piece is a part of a whole. My whole and I am thankful every moment I have with it. Just as my
grandfather to peace in the back forty. His favorite saying was, If I wanna talk to God Ill walk
out to the back, until then you can shut the fuckup. This was my grandfather in one of his
finest.
Presentation
The best way I knew to show everyone where I was coming from was to create the Prezi
looking at Maslows Hierarchy and showing how in one way or another I have dealt with my
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needs at their lowest and have moved past those points in my life. The story of my best friend
and I standing up against a bully. When I joined the Iowa Army National Guard, to provide for
myself and learn to defend myself in hand to hand combat. The strength I gained from the love
of my Army brothers and I and the love of my dogs. To Loras helping me to build up myself and
be more. Here are the images from that presentation I gave.
Closing Summary
From Abraham Maslows hierarchy of needs, to the lives and legacies of Anne Frank,
Marilyn Monroe, and Alfred Nobel, and how each of them help to define what it means to have
an appreciation of beauty. Through the demonstration I gave with my power point, and in my
experiences throughout life. Each of these experiences having played a role in the development
of my character strength of appreciation of beauty. Photos to go with the stories below.

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Here are the picture to tie to the stories enjoy!
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References

Peterson, C & Seligman, M. E. P. (2004). Character Strengths and Virtues
Merriam-Webster. 12/10/2013 4:30am. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/aesthetic