Individual Proposal:

Confronting Confrontation
Submitted by: Jessica Lovell
Salt Lake Community College
COMM 1010
30 October, 2014

Description of the problem: Whether we like it or not, conflict is a part of everyday life.
If youre like me, the fewer the conflicts the better. However, no matter how hard we may try,
conflict is unavoidable. The trick is to learn different ways we can deal with conflict and how we
can apply them to our own lives.
Resources and Constraints: Like the book states, the problem with conflict is not
conflict itself, but rather the way we handle it. (pp. 125) If handled correctly, conflict can not only
produce positive results, but can teach and exercise good managerial skills.
Steven Berglos, Management consultant and Harvard Medical School psychologist said
this,
If youre not looking for ways to promote healthful conflict between people of different
backgrounds who cannot possibly see the world the same way, dont be surprised if anarchy
ensues or if the best and the brightest abandon you. (2. pp. 125)
How I interpreted this quote is if you are not willing to have an open mind, if you are not
willing to try and see the world from the other persons point of view, how are you possibly
going to resolve the conflict? How can you to come to a mutual agreement or understanding?
There are several different ways to respond when you find yourself face to face with
conflict. The book mentions some ways such as avoiding, accommodating, competing,
collaborating, and compromise. (pp. 127) I find that the two most common ways I myself respond
to conflict is by avoidance and compromise. Each of these approaches can have a different
result.
First, you can avoid the confrontation all together. Avoidance can be physical: whether
it be ignoring a phone call or text or hiding from the aggressor. Or it can be psychological:
denying the problems existence or level of seriousness. (pp. 127) For me, avoidance is my conflict
approach of choice, but it isnt always the best solution. While avoidance can have short-term
benefits, it might have a long term price.
Jean Stefani, a senior operations analyst at Comcast Communication said,
I think its better to face whatever the conflict is head on and deal with the situation as
it comes up and not side-step it or go to someone else about the problem. (3. pp. 127)
There is so much truth in this. Im the type of person that pushes conflict as far away as
possible in hopes that it will just dissolve. Through experience Ive found this method to be
pretty ineffective. It might be scary, but the best way to deal with conflict is head on. Dealing
with the problem right when it comes not only prevents the stress that is bound to eventually
overwhelm you, but youll find that you will come up with a better end result.
Another way to approach confrontation is by compromise. In a compromise, each
person sacrifices something he or she wants in order to come to an agreement. (pp. 129) While
this method is accommodating, it is also somewhat selfish because both parties are trying to

get the best possible deal for themselves. The book says that compromise is a middle-range
approach, (pp. 129) meaning that while compromise is more assertive than avoiding or
accommodating, it isnt quite as aggressive as competing. Compromising provides an outcome
that while it may not be as satisfying, at least it helps come to a result everyone involved can
live with.
I use compromise all the time. I cannot stand confrontation and avoid it at all costs, but
when I absolutely must deal with it, I use compromise as an escape route. By compromising
with the aggressor, I am willing to make a sacrifice for the sake of ending the argument. If a
small sacrifice is necessary to make the problem disappear as quickly as possible, so be it. But is
this really the best way to handle the situation? Do I really want to short change myself for the
sake of ending a conflict?
Recommendations: Using what I have learned from this class, I can see both the pros
and cons of each of these tactics.
Avoiding the conflict isnt aggressive enough. Instead of avoiding the situation, I want to
try and tackle the problem the moment it appears, instead of trying to put it off or hide from it.
I tend to overthink things and stress myself out. I think by addressing the conflict head on, it will
help reduce my anxiety levels and make me an overall happier person.
When using compromising, I feel like Im either being a pushover or not standing up for
myself. Instead of settling for a compromise, Id like a win-win result where both parties get
what they want and come to a conclusion they can both agree upon. Now I know that may be
difficult or nearly impossible, but that is the goal Id like to strive for. I think its time I care a
little bit more about my own feelings and what I want rather than just trying to keep everyone
happy. I want to be more assertive.
Summary: Just as I mentioned before, conflict is a part of everyday life. It is
unavoidable. We can either choose to ignore it or choose to address it. We need to confront
conflict in a way that will give us a positive result. Learning positive ways to confront conflict is
not only the key to a successful career, I believe it is the key to a happy life.

Works Cited:
1. Adler, Ronald. Elmhorst, Jeanne. Lucas, Kristen. (2013). COMM 1010. Salt Lake
Community College. Communicating at Work: Strategies for Success in Business and the
Professions, pp. 125-129
2. Berlos, S. (1994, May). Harmony is death: Let conflict reign. Inc., pp. 56-58.
3. Stefanie, J (1998, February 20). Finding common ground. Sacramento Business Journal,
pp. 12-13.