Cold Cookies ‘An old man was lying on his deathbed. He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies. He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything in the world. With his last bit of energy he pulled himself out of bed, struggled across the floor to the stairs, and headed down the stairs into the kitchen. There his wife was baking those aromatic cookies. 'As he reached for one—SMACK! He felt slap across the back of his hand. wife scolded, “Leave those alone; they're for the funeral!” ales frown sure: Tamara Norden, Shorewood Won Pare Home Companion Web site Fith Annual Joke Show (1-0). Terms of Endearment ‘The most common terms of endearment are the following: + Honey: 48 percent + Baby:44 percent + Sweetheart:41 percent + Dear:39 percent + Lover:32 percent + Darling:31 percent + Sugar:24 percent + Angel:20 percent + Pumpkin: 13 percent + Beautiful6 percent “Lips like lilies, dropping ‘sweet smelling myrrh.” SONG OF SOLOMON 5:13 - For more material on the home and family, fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, grandparents, and family finances, go to wwwhousetohouse.com. House to House ~ Heart to Heart, A rtist—she beautifies the home and colors endless coloring book pictures. B cautician—she clips, cuts, and curslittle beauty’ hair. C hauffeur—she delivers one child to piano lesson, picks up another after a ball game, and hurries to her husband's plane. D ietician—she plans endless menus and makes vegetables tasty E ngineer—she keeps the home's wheels well oiled and running efficiently. F ashion designer—she alters hand-me- downs and creates originals. G uardian of the virtue of her family unit. H ousekeeper—she straightens and cleans and wipes up spills 1 formation bureau—she answers thousands of youthful questions, ranging from “Do caterpillars yawn?” to “Where are my socks?” J udge—sheis called upon to settle the daily disputes that erupt wherever two cor more children congregate. K ceper at home—she functions masterfully in her unique role (Titus 5). L aundry worker—she endlessly washes, dries, folds, puts away. M usician—she st droopy eyes to sleep 1g8 Lullabies to coax. IN urse—she treats a variety of ills, from scraped knees to broken hearts. O rganizer—she arranges birthday parties, shopping expenditures, ball games, and work projects. P harmacist—she dispenses Band: children’ aspirins, and iodine Q ueen of the home— she isthe center around which the family revolves, R ecreation director—she plans activities for school, scouts, church groups, and home. 'S eamstress—she patches and mends the inevitable holes, rips, and tears. T cacher—she instructs little minds in the first lessons of life. U pholsterer—she re-covers old furniture to make it last alittle longer Vocational counselor—she offers advice about possible future occupations, W aitress—she graciously serves over a thousand meals a year. X-Ray technician—she sees right through excuses, evasions, and cover- ‘ups to get to the truth underneath. Y ard worker—she plants, prunes, and trims. Z oo keeper—she feeds the pets the children solemnly promised they would take care of, “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” PSALM 1139,