Landry 1

Sara Landry
Mrs. Coco
English, Section 64
15 October 2015
1. My audience who for kids in grades seventh-eleventh.
Preface
Following the teacher comment draft, I realized that I had something unique to my
learning which was the fact that my parents read the Bible to me as a child. I decided that I
wanted to focus on this idea and discuss in further detail how that helped me with understanding
Paradise Lost. In this paper, I changed my entire paper. I hope in this one I do not sound as
bland and just describing mu upbringing. I added descriptions to show my frustration on
uneasiness about a topic instead of just saying I didnt enjoy it. While my paper still has a focus
on my family in the background, I bring to light the impact religion had on my learning.
I feel like switching the focus of my paper allowed me to develop my paper. I was able to
add details and my feelings while in class. In my previous papers, I was just saying how my
parents influenced my education, but with this angle, I was able to discuss how it helped me
years later.
I think my paper might be short. I think I could have elaborated more on some ideas, but I
didnt want it to sound repetitive. I was just trying to think of new ways of how it affected me,
but I couldnt find the right wording. I also am concerned that it is simple. Maybe I could have
discussed the time when I wasnt focusing too much on religion and then show how I had to go
back and research for my paper.
Religions Impact On My Learning

1
Through my journey of discovering how education became important to me, I began with
the idea that my family had the most influence on my attitude towards school. However, as I
thought about how they made such a positive influence on me, I realized that their choices of
how I began my education and their efforts to assist me through my learning was what really
stuck with me. They did not just let me go to school and let that be my only exposure to

Landry 2
education, they continued to teach me outside of school. And what they taught me outside of the
Commented [SL1]: I decided to focus primarily on the
impact my parents had on me and my education by reading
the Bible to me during Lent.

classroom is what made me excel in it.

2
My parents decided to place my siblings and I into Catholic school. I began my education
journey at Visitation of Our Lady. It began as any other school would, learning about nursey
rhymes, colors, and numbers. But, as I made it to the higher grades, I noticed that although I still
learned about the basics of different subjects, I also was learning about religion. I knew about

Commented [SL2]: I tried to add more description and

make it sound more like a story rather than just explaining
what happened.

Jesus from church, but I realized that my teachers were spending hours just looking at the Bible,
and the messages God wrote for us. During elementary school, I did not really understand how I
would use this, other than in my faith. And I always questioned why I was taught this in school
because I knew I learned about it during mass, but I just did not understand why and how this
would benefit me in the future.

3
Church was always a big part of my life. Not only was it required to go every week
during school, it was something my family did together every Sunday. My parents were the first
ones to introduce me to religion, but my school taught me more in-depth about the Bible.
However, during lent, my parents read us the Bible rather than fairy tales just so we would have
more exposure to Jesus. I would get so annoyed. I knew bedtime was coming so I would refuse
to get out of the bathtub and would request for ten more minutes to play with my toys just to give
me more time before I would have to listen to my parents read words I could not understand.
They would always try to read us versus that would make us appreciate our lives and to always
treat others with respect. One of my favorites that I remember is from Philippians 2:3 and it says

Commented [SL3]: Again, I added more details to make it

more of a story. I tried to show my frustration by describing
the actions I would take in order to avoid Bible time

Landry 3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vein conceit, but in humility consider others better than
yourselves. I did not know it the, but reading all of those versus and becoming familiar with the

Commented [SL4]: I gave an example of what I learned

from my parents

Bible has helped me become a better student and has also benefited me when I began discussing
Paradise Lost in English classes.
4
My English IV teacher was very adamant about reading, analyzing, and writing on a
specific text. I found most of the novels or short stories easy to discuss and enjoyable. Then a
friend in the class before mine said the next topic was extremely difficult not only to understand,
but also to interpret. I went in to class thinking the absolute worst. I was already scared to
disappoint my teacher and now that I may not even be able to understand what we were
discussing had me very anxious. Then I walked in and saw Paradise Lost written on the board. I

Commented [SL5]: Tried to add detail to show what was

happening rather than just telling

have never heard of that before, but I was kind of intrigues by the title. How could paradise be
lost? And what was the paradise? Then my teacher said that we were about to read an excerpt of
an epic poem discussing Satans story after he fell from Heaven. Once she said this, I understood
immediately what she was talking about. But I was confused as to how. I went from being
extremely anxious to suddenly relax. I began racking my brain about how I knew so much about
this already. But then I remembered that my parents read versus to me about Satan. I
remembered Revelations 12:9 said And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old
who is called the devil and Satan, who deceived the whole world; he was thrown down to the
earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. This is exactly how Paradise Lost starts and I
was ready to dive head first into this assignment because I had the background knowledge to
succeed on this project.
5

Commented [SL6]: Incorporated my thoughts at the time

into the paper so my audience can see how I am confused
and questioning the assignment.

Landry 4
A lot of people in my class were able to understand Paradise Lost at the surface level.
Most knew that the devil was the serpent who tempted Eve to taste the apple from the Forbidden
Tree. However, my teacher wanted us to go further than just the surface level. We had to write a
paper on the topic but I found myself having to do research for my paper. I thought I knew or

Commented [SL7]: Talking about how I used my

knowledge to help me by having to write the paper.

remembered everything that I needed for this assignment, but I found myself having to research
the exact wording of verses that I wanted to use and then still refresh myself on what I was told it
meant. But as I started to remember what I was told it meant. I started to look at it in my own
perspective. I took what my parents taught me and made my opinions and beliefs off of that. And
that is what learning is. Taking something that you were taught and making it your own. You
have to be able to use the information you learn and not just memorize it. It may not seem
important to you at the time you are learning about it, but in your future, you will take what you
learned and use it.

Commented [SL8]: Stated my message for my audience

through discovering it for myself