Matrix For WP1 and WP2

Alex Enfield
Text from my initial
WP submission:
(a phrase, sentence,
paragraph, idea,
move, punctuation,
piece of evidence,
etc.)

An observation or
question I
received from De
Piero or a
classmate:

The change(s) I made

to what I initially
wrote: (ie, the
change[s] I made to
column 1)

How this change

impacts my paper:

Although it
may not always be
acknowledged, there
are conventions that
surround different
genres. Conventions
do not necessarily
apply to every piece
of writing within a
genre though. It is
still important to
study these various
conventions in order
to improve upon
ones own writing
skills (Enfield, Big
Bloggin Al).

So I like that you

know you need to
actually quote/cite
yourself (that way,
you "cover your
ass" in case a
professor thinks
you're doubledipping -- ie, using
the same
paper/writing for
two assignments).
And you can do
this, although I
don't think it's the
most interesting
opener in the world
(no offense).

As I was scrolling
through my Facebook
account looking for a
few light-hearted posts
to brighten up my
mood, I came across a
very atrocious statistic
stating that, there have
been more mass
shootings than days this
year(nbcnews).

I feel that my new

hook does a better
job of grabbing my
audiences attention.
This fact is shocking,
yet true and I know
that the audience is
more likely to want
to keep reading my
paper. Americans like
to be well informed
of what is going on
around them.

When I searched
Twitter for Northern
Arizona University
shooting, a lot of
news accounts had
reports about the
tragedy as well as
links that directed me
to the news channels
websites. There were
many pictures of the
victims, the criminal,
and of the students
grieving the death
and injuries of their
fellow classmates.

OK, I like how

you're starting to
use descriptive
evidence, but I'd
like you to
incorporate direct
textual
evidence/support.

When looking
specifically at Twitter,
one specific convention
that separates this social
media site from others,
is the fact that only 140
words and emojis are
allowed. This is not a
lot of room to write
about a serious topic,
which is why Twitter
does not tend to stir up
serious debates between
people.

I changed a lot about

my WP1. I relazied
that I was writing a
lot about the physcial
conventions of social
media sites, but I
wasnt bringing it
back to any solid
argument. I think that
I did this better in my
second body
paragraph.

Many of the tweets

from political figures

Didn't some
political figures

the NAU shooting is

devastating, but proves

I hadnt considered
discussing people

Matrix For WP1 and WP2

Alex Enfield
used the incident to
support why we need
to put bans and
restrictions on guns.

also use the

incident to oppose
gun control? I think
you might want to
parse out the role of
audience here a bit
more.

that the government

cant keep us all safe.
The solution isnt to
take away our guns, the
solution is to give us the
option to protect
ourselves with guns.

who were against gun

control laws
originally because it
seemed like a
horrible thing to
bring up after a
tragedy. I think that
by showing the other
side, my audience
will see that I am not
being bias.

Instagram also
includes the week in
review, which
includes what the
majority of people
have searched and
liked.

OK, I'm
wondering: so
what? What does
this have to do with
your argument?

The week in review

during October 9,2015
included 106 posts in
regards to the Northern
Arizona shooting. The
pictures under this
category included news
accounts with pictures
of students mourning
the tragedy, pictures of
the victims, and
pictures of the criminal.

I elaborated more on
how the week in
review is an
important feature on
Instagram because it
connects many
Americans to
tragedies that have
struck, such as the
NAU. People were
able to show each
other support and to
stir up a debate.

Overall, all of the

posts that I came
across on Facebook,
Instagram, and
Twitter were very
supportive of the
victims of the
tragedy.

What were the

posts? Where's
your textual
evidence/support?

The user, @slyngstad,

posted a picture of a
man in the fetus
position, hugging
himself, and who
appears to have gone
mad.

I went back and

incorporated all
direct examples of
Tweets, Facebook
posts, and Instagram
posts. I wanted my
audience to see for
their own eyes what
people posted,
instead of taking my
paraphrase version of
it. I think that it is
also more
entertaining to read
the posts from their
original manner.

You learn too that

conventions can be
broken, that in a
sense it is even

Enfield, these are

very observant and
insightful thoughts,
but it's not

It is important to
understand that social
media sites are not
reliable sources and to

I deleted out my
entire blog post
because I felt that it
made me look like a

Matrix For WP1 and WP2

Alex Enfield
encouraged to break
some of them.
Studying different
conventions can help
you to get started on
your writing, but it
does not and should
not have to dictate
what your writing
should look like
(Enfield, Big
Bloggin Al).

appropriate to take
huge chunks from
your thlog/blog and
use them for this
paper; they're two
separate things.

always be weary of the

information that one is
taking in.
Understanding genre
conventions makes it
easier to understand
what the authors piece
is about and their point
of view on the subject.

lazy writer. I think

that I was able to
truly think more
about the importance
of genre conventions
now than I was when
I wrote that blog post
nearly six weeks ago
also.

Although many
similarities do exist
between each
articles rhetorical
features and
conventions,
differences also exist
depending on the
authors purpose of
the article.

Is all of this
necessary? Can you
just say (in more
sophisticated
language) "here
comes purpose"?

An authors use of
rhetorical features
varies on the structure
that they want to build
for their article.

I realized that my
topic sentence was
not even discussing
what I went into
detail in throughout
this paragraph. I
completely omitted
my original topic
sentence.

Article 3
incorporates ethos,
logos, and pathos.
There is really no use
for conceptual or
operational
definitions within
this article since it is
so short and written
to a more general
audience

Is this misplaced?
How does this
relate back to the
previous
sentence/idea? Or
the next?

For example, the

articles use ethos by
including previous
sources that have
covered the topic of
alcohol in biology or
psychology, to show
their audience that they
are a credible source.

I was better able to

organize this essay
where I discussed the
way each article was
organized and the
devices used.

The authors moves

vary depending on
their motives for
their article.

Worth
describing/defining
what you mean by
"moves"?

The authors moves--or

choice of words and
structure for their
writing piece--varies
depending on their
motives for their article.

I think that by giving

my own
interpretation of
moves, the rest of
what I have to say in
this paragraph
becomes much more

Matrix For WP1 and WP2

Alex Enfield
clear.
direct quotes from
Elizabeth indicating
that she will fight
and win this disease.

What are some? Do

the other pieces do
this too? Why/not?

The authors also uses

direct quotes from
Elizabeth stating "as so
many other recovering
alcoholics know,
overcoming the disease
can be a long and
incredibly difficult
process,"(Rehab for
Alcohol).

I decided to use a
direct quote here
because I felt that it
will make me appear
as a more credible
source. My audience
doesnt just have to
take my word for it,
they can read
Elizabths words for
themselves.