Antonio-Aquino 1

Alma Antonio
Professor Jaya Dubey
Writing 39C
08 December 2015
Reflective Essay
Before I even begun the class I was scared, once I started taking the class I became
terrified. I know that writing eloquently is not my strong suit neither is speaking in public, but
these are just two of the tasks I was assigned to perform in the Writing 39C class in the weeks
that followed. Throughout this ten week course I completed various works that will demonstrate
my growth as both a writer and a communicator on an urban policy topic. These works will
include outlines, drafts, and revised essays, from my Historical Conversations Project and
Advocacy Project, on my research topic which was focused on Fresnos Air Pollution Problem,
exploring the problem (HCP) and improving the problem (AP).
Although, these past ten weeks have not been easy I would like to begin by saying that I
have enjoyed the work I have done because they taught me many things. I have become more
aware of social issues, as well as aware of the importance of the efforts made by the government
and organizations to create change. As a writer and a communicator I have significantly grown, I
have become more used to basing my arguments on evidence rather than through precarious
connections as demonstrated by the difference in my HCP Draft and my final HCP essay. My AP
essay also provides significant evidence to my change as a writer, given that it is better
structured, its arguments are better supported by evidence and analysis, and although it is bias
(because its meant to be) it is well reasoned bias. Furthermore, additional evidence that attests to
my change can be seen through my drafts, weekly reflections, and AP presentation.

Antonio-Aquino 2
When I began this course I was aware of social issues and sustainability issues, however,
they were not a topics I had ever really committed a significant amount of time researching. So
coming into this class knowing that all my essays were going to be research-based was a bit
overwhelming, especially since we had to choose a topic and commit to it starting week 2.
Initially I was overwhelmed by the amount of topics I was able to choose from, because I found
many urban policy topics interesting, however, I decided to explore the air pollution problem in
Fresno because it is a complex problem that is harmful in many ways, which regular citizens
might not be aware about.
Once I began my research for my HCP, I realized that my paper would require a serious
amount of scientific data to be summarized, analyzed, and synthesized, in order for it not to
overwhelm my voice in the essay. I also realized that the arguments I would make in my HCP
essay would require corroboration from reliable and factual sources rather than personal
opinions. Despite knowing what my essay should contain, I made the very mistakes I didnt
want to make. By this, I mean that in my HCP draft I made a lot of speculations. For example, as
part of the thesis, I blamed the agricultural
industry and the air monitoring agencies
in Fresno as the main culprits for the air
pollution problem, without providing
proper evidence which would support this
claim. My first draft also lack proper
citation, clear explanations, and visuals as
shown in Figures 1 and 2, the whole
document can also be found on the HCP
Figure 1: Draft 1: Thesis is very long and lacks
clarity.

Antonio-Aquino 3
Draft 1 of this website. Looking back at my work, I feel a bit embarrassed to realize how
crummy my first drafts for the HCP were.
However, after substantive amount of
feedback from both my peers and my
professor I was able to correct some of these
lousy mistakes. For example, my HCP Draft
2 contains more visuals as well as better
analysis on the data presented. Although my
HCP Draft 2 was visibly better than the first
draft it still contained a bit of speculation as
well as very long quotes, which I proceeded

Figure 2: Body Paragraphs contain speculations and

lack clear analysis

to remove in the HCP final in order to obtain

a more coherent and cohesive piece explaining the ongoing battle that Fresno faces with
improving its air quality. I believe my HCP Final essay was strengthen with the addition of a
carefully worded abstract and the removal of long unnecessary quotes as well as the removal of
obscure information and short-sided explanations. For example, where the HCP Draft 2
previously begun with two very long quotes, my HCP Final essay only contains one. In my final
HCP essay I decided to keep the quote which I felt had more impact, that being the quote in
Figure 3 instead of Figure 4, which I paraphrase because I still felt that the information
provided by this quote was important. In my HCP Final essay I also decided to remove the
information from HCP Draft 2 page 7 and restated it correctly because after intense research for
my AP I was better informed about the background of the problem. Although I was unable to

Antonio-Aquino 4
change some quotes in my revision process, I think my final HCP essay is overall a better written
paper than my initial draft
because it is clearer, more
concise, and a more accurate
representation of the air
pollution problem in Fresno.

Figure 3: First quote in essay is more impactful, because

the numbers are not overwhelming the matter at hand, as
does the quote in Figure 4 below.

As a result of the
lengthy revisions I had to
make on my HCP essay, I
would like to say that I was able to better formulate my Advocacy Project essay. I claim that this
revision process helped me become not only a better writer but also a communicator, because I
had less trouble organizing my thoughts and my information on my AP essay. I attribute this to
the considerable amount of research I conducted in understanding the problem, in order to know
what solution was the most appropriate to advocate. I also think the Advocacy Project
presentation helped me tremendously in organizing the
information on my AP essay. In fact, I used the order of
the AP PowerPoint presentation as the order in which I
organized my topics for my essay, which can be seen in
Figure 5, my AP essay outline. I used the same order in
my essay as I did in my presentation because upon
presenting and voicing my ideas out loud, I found that
they made logical sense to organize my essay this way as
well. In my AP essay, included more visuals with helpful

Figure 5: AP Essay Outline similar

to AP Presentation Slideshow

Antonio-Aquino 5
captions explaining their significance and relevance to the essay, unlike my caption-less visuals
in my HCP draft 1. Despite the fact that the AP essay was one of my better works it still
contained many grammatical mistakes which I proceeded to fix with the help of Turnitin.
Even though I was initially afraid of the multi-modal approach to the assignment, these
last ten-weeks have showed me that digital resources and technology are both tools that can
greatly enhance and engage my intended audience. For example these multimodal texts have the
ability to reach wider audiences because they are not limited to text but rather incorporate,
visuals, hyperlinks, and multidimensionality by asking audiences to actively engage in learning
about the topic. One of the most helpful resources that I believe made the research process of this
class bearable was the Delicious account. This account was instrumental in bookmarking my
sources especially since most of them were online sources. This website allowed me quick and
easy access to sources I needed to revisit for either quotes or general information.
Although this class initially overwhelmed me I cannot deny that its intensive amount of
research, drafting, and revising has changed me as a writer. I had been previously exposed to
writing classes that taught me quite a lot more than any high school class did, but this writing
class is on a whole other level to me, simply because I have never been tasked with assignments
that require multi-modal approaches. I certainly expect to use the skills I learned in this class to
improve future assignments.