Morgan Turner

Pamela Lemons
PSY1100
My Child
My child,
It is now youre 18th birthday. This is an iconic moment in American Culture. It
signifies the right of passage into adulthood in the United States, though I must
warn you, there is more to being an adult than simply turning a certain age. Many
other cultures, old and new, have a ceremony or system of trials and tribulations to
becoming an adult. In America, the land of opportunity, you are given the title of
adult, with all the responsibilities accompanying it, without proof of ability to handle
or recognized these responsibilities. Therein lies the challenge of adulthood in
America. You, just as all individuals in America, are given the opportunity, but not
necessarily the skills, to act as an independent thinker. Your mother and I are no
exception to that either. You were our next step into adulthood and we are proud
that you are taking your first.
During our personal journey to ascend into adulthood, your mother and I
decided to have a child. We set down guidelines to achieve this were rooted in
stability. We have spent a lot of time pursuing careers and finances that would
afford us the stability to raise a child in the best environment that we could see
possible. This did not come overnight, and only after seeking personal awareness
and understanding selfish desires did we grow enough individually, to come
together and want to love another.
It seems that life is about exploring what it means to be you and what it
means to be human. It took me a long time to understand that one does not define
the other. Instead, it would seem that they both define each other. Who you decide
you are will have an effect on what you think of others, and their actions and
thoughts will have an effect on how you define yourself. This dualistic relationship
will be far from the only one you come across in your life. As I have found in mine,
every dualistic relationship has a direct effect on the other side. Just like the light in
a room, the bright will find texture and define perspective, while the dim areas will
show depth and proves that what is not illuminated still exists just as naturally as
the illumination. When you realize that there are always more than one way to look
at things you will realize that no one perspective is ever correct. Some may ring
true to your perspective and feel to be absolutely correct, but there will always be a
shadow of that thought that another sees as a truth that illuminates their existence.
It is with an attempt to keep perspective that has led me to use as much
patients and restraint as I can when it comes to raising you. I am not always
successful in this venture, but neither were my parents, nor theirs. We are always in
a struggle to adapt and evolve. In that struggle it is ignorant to assume that
perfection is an end and not a means. Perfection is not achieved by learning and
adapting. Perfection IS learning and adapting. I love you dearly and hope you never

waste years seeking perfection as an end like I did. There is no perfection in the end
if there is no perfection in every action to make it happen. Keep your perspective
open to the world and try to learn and adapt from every scenario. Perfection, being
the antithesis and antonym of failure, can only be achieved in your own mind by
how you learn and adapt. I apologize for the times where I have not been absolutely
patient, but I have always done what I can to maintain understanding and
perspective and in raising you. I have learned and had to adapt in more ways
imaginable just to raise you. I too am only human, and will act with my ego until I
die so I hope you learn and adapt from the times I am inherently flawed. Thank you
for making me a more perfect being, I wish you the best in your quest to do the
same.
What has driven me to the point where I am today has been curiosity and an
attempt to understand, or at least be sympathetic to, other perspectives. An
unrelenting curiosity can be an incredible thing and I hope you never stop asking
why. As frustrating as it is for you to continually ask me why, it cultivates the
curiosity you will need to push yourself hard in life. Im sure youve heard me say
this one thousand times, and you will hear me say it one thousand more.
Mosquitoes gather in stagnant waters. Pestilence will plague those who do not
continue to move. We are given a noun when we are born. That thing, the person,
the place where you will create your identity within, is your human body. A noun is
no good without an action and therefore to add context to your existence in space
and time, your verb is being. You, your mother, I, and everyone else on this planet
are Human Beings. Make sure that you are being human while you are a Human
Being. Do not be a human stagnating. Humans stagnating only breed pestilence,
and those stagnant moments will only plague you. Sometimes it may be necessary
to pause, just like a pool of water building up to break over a spillway. Though you
may feel still at times, think of a great river or a great lake. Perspective will tell you
the truth if you are stagnating or if your movement is still constant. May your river
constantly flow and should you find yourself isolated from a body of water never be
afraid to evaporate into the clouds. Even the rain is evidence of moving water.
If you find yourself wondering how I was raised I would be proud to say that
my parents raised me in a similar fashion. They had no manual on how to raise a
child, and relied on their family and friends for support and understanding. Your
mother and I have done the same. Though our approach has been extremely
different from that of your grandparents, we have tried to mimic what they have
done. Every generation changes and with a different culture comes different means
of raising the young. It never gets easier between the generations but it will always
be different. Cultural struggles that your mother and I have lived through were
impossible tasks for our parents generation, and will seem to have simple solution
to yours. That is the nature of the flow in culture and society. Things such as gender
roles and sexuality have risen as a main cultural point in my times, when they were
clearly defined in my parents generation, and dont seem like that big of a deal to
you today.
No matter who or what you chose for a partner, your peers, a career, or a
gender role in your family, make sure that it is a natural fit that challenges you as

much as it comforts you. Androgyny is nothing to fear but instead to be embraced,

for it is an understanding beyond that of being male or female, it is that of being
human. Understanding the duality between men and women and that there is
constant crossover with masculine and feminine traits will aid you well in your
career, social life, and future partnerships. Find something that compliments you
and brings out the best in you. That way you will always be satisfied, even in the
deepest of struggles, and have an interest in pursuing all of the inevitable uphill and
overwhelming battles you will face. Sometimes fighting a fight that you know you
cannot win will reap better rewards than victory ever could, especially when you
know you are doing the right thing. That is a lesson I learned in basic military
training and in various capacities in social and work related endeavors. How you
tackle the impossible will define how you see impossible things. Maybe someday
you will even learn that nothing is impossible with the right perspective.
In the end I just hope you are satisfied with the struggle that is life. The
Buddha suggests Joyful participation in the sorrows of the world. However, the
Buddha also says If you meet the Buddha on the road, KILL HIM! Life is a personal
thing and it is ultimately up to you. Remember to keep flowing, keep perspective,
keep fighting for what makes you passionate, but keep in mind two more things.
Always laugh and always breathe. It is when I take life too seriously that all the
problems seem to overwhelm me. As long as I can laugh, I can overcome anything,
it helps put me in the right perspective. The best way to keep flowing, laughing,
fighting, and everything else is by breathing. In through your mind and out through
your actions, never stop breathing.