Mark Twain

.A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes

.A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledge himself a liar

.A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read

.All generalizations are false, including this one

.All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure

.Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest
.
.Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul

.Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint

.Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read '


.Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society
.
.Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear

.Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain

.Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned

.The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow

.Familiarity breeds contempt - and children

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it

.thousands of times

.Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life

.I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to
.open it and remove all doubt

.It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral
.courage so rare
!
.Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only
.nine lives

.The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter

There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish
.the farce

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by
.others

.A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way

.A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to
.anything on which it is poured
.
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man
.himself cannot be written

.By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean

!! ..
.Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities
. ..
.Everything has its limit, iron ore cannot be educated into gold
..
.Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please

.
.Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat
.
Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have
.somebody to divide it with

.
.He is now rising from affluence to poverty
.
.Humor is mankind's greatest blessing
..
happened. I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of
them never
.
.I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position
.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in
.both places
.
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always
.feel that they have not said enough
.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants
.it back the minute it begins to rain
. ..
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and
.give you an opportunity to commit more
. .
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before.
.An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before
. .

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked
..honest enough
.
Do something every day that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for
.acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain
. .
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him
.kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him
. .
.I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know
." "
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This
.is the principal difference between a dog and a man
. .
In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in
.making those idiots understand their language
!

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to
.deserve them
.
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand,
.but the passages that bother me are those I do understand

.
.My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it
.
.The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up
.
.The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself
.
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his
.private heart no man much respects himself

!
.Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform
.
In order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the
.thing difficult to obtain

. ..
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably
precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence
.never to practice either of them
:
.
It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to
.slander you, and the other to get the news to you
.
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not
.possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess

.
An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to
.complete the thing and make it perfect

.
Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to
.someone else
.
.How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it
.
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to
other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to
.any creature that cannot
.