LastVegas Subtitle

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SAM: This is great, man.
BILLY: Look at you.
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SAM: This one's a riot.
SOPHIE: That's so cute.
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ARCHIE: Guys, look at this.
SAM: That's a keeper.
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- That's a keeper, Pat.
- Paddy, you are one ugly kid.
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- Hideous.
- A monster.
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,910

- Prick.
- Asshole.
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Gentlemen, such language
in front of my girl?
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- She's not your girl.
- Pat is right.
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- Thank you, Pat.
- Hey! Well,
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look at what we have here.
The Flatbush Four.
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00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,595
Or whatever stupid name

you call yourselves.
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00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:15,432
Hey, where'd you jerks get the quarters
for these pictures, huh?
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You stealing from my old man's
till again, Sammy?
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Come on, Danny,
Sam didn't steal a thing.
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- How would you know?
- Because I did.
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How many weeks has it been
since you've been paid, Sam?
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Five?
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Six.
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So until he gets paid,
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we're gonna take everything
you owe.
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Nobody cheats us.
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Billy, you moron,
he'll kick your ass.
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That's right, moron. Unh!
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No one calls us names
except for us.
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This fight is gonna make us legends.
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Run!
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WOMAN:
Kick, kick, kick.
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Kick, kick, kick.
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- I-- Kick, kick.
WOMAN: Kick, kick.
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Side, side.
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- Come on. Come on.
WOMAN: And step, step.
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- What?
- All right, just do it.
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- It's good for your knee.
- It's good for my knees,
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but it's destroying my soul.
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Sam, shush.
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She can't hear me.
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None of them can hear me.
Looking good, Gloria.
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Oh, sorry, did I just step on your foot,
or was that your breast?
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WOMAN: Row and row and row.
- See?
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WOMAN:
Now, ladies, show us what you got.
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Show us what you got.
Come on, gents, you can do it too.
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- Ira?
- What, Sam?
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No, I was just-- Just checking.
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(WOMAN SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY)
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Now grind it, grind it, grind it.
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ARCHIE (SINGING):
You are my sunshine
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My only sunshine
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You make me happy
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When skies are gray
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You'll never know, dear
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(GROWLS)
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How much I love you
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Pop, what are you doing? You're not
supposed to be lifting anything heavy.
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Man, she got a bit of an ass on her,
but I don't think that qualifies as heavy.
55
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- Okay.
- Let me take care of her today.
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Your only job is to relax. We don't want
another episode, do we?
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All right,
I organized your medication,
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I programmed the alarms
on your phone,
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and I put the schedule
on the fridge.
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00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,406
Okay?
Okay.
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Good. All right.
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WOMAN: Say bye to Grandpa.

- Uh,
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- call me if you need anything at all.
- Sure thing.
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- All right. I put a hoodie in there.
- Bye, Blakey!
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See you this evening, sweetie.
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WOMAN: The sippy cup?
EZRA: I hate that.
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Remember Grandpa loves you!
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(DOOR CLOSES)
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VINCE (ON TV):
Hi, it's Vince with ShamWow.
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00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,190
You'll be saying "Wow!"
every time you use this towel.
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00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,075
It's like a shammy, it's like
a towel, it's like a sponge.
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A regular towel doesn't work wet.
This works wet or dry.
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(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
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VINCE: This is for the house,
the car, the boat, the RV.
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ShamWow holds 12 times
its weight in liquid.
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(KNOCKING CONTINUES)
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What?
78
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Go away, I got a bat.
79
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,922
It's Elizabeth, your neighbor.

I brought you soup.
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That's why I have the bat.
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00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,639
Hey, Mr. C. It's potato leek.
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(SNIFFS)
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Yeah, I know. Something funny
happened with the leeks.
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- Can we just pretend again?
- I can't wait to taste your soup.
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00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,769

- Heh.
- Thank you.
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You're welcome. Wait, there's a
free concert tonight in Prospect Park,
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00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,445
and I was gonna take
my grandmother,
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and I thought you two might,
I don't know, get along okay.
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- Elizabeth. Elizabeth.
- She's really funny.
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Listen please.
You're a pretty young lady.
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00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,953
I bet the boys are attracted to you
92
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,955
as long as you don't give them
anything to eat.
93
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,367
But I have a word of advice:
find a man,
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00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,535
don't let him get
anywhere near your kitchen,
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00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,454
get him married to you
or your grandmother,
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00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,247
and please just give me some peace.
97
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,258
It's been almost a year
since Sophie died.
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00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,635
Find a man.
99
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And stop bringing me soup.
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(GROANS)
101
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BILLY:
Are you kidding? That's great news.
102
00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,817
And we're expanding our offices
right with you.
103
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,862
We're gonna be turning
a lot of heads. I love it.
104
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:46,123
Maybe we should go public.
I'm not crazy.
105
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I got you, Carl,
you're a genius.
106
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- Honey, we're going to be late.
- I know, I'm almost ready.
107
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But you don't even have
your clothes on.
108
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Oh, because I thought
I would just wear this.
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(SIGHS)
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- Love you.
- Love you too.
111
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,257
No, not you, Carl.
112
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The news is great,
and before you change your mind,
113
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I'm gonna hang up right now.
114
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(PHONE BEEPS)
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(SIGHS)
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Ronnie, when you were feeling low,
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you remember what I said?
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(INHALES)
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Shit.
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00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,885
Ronnie,
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when you were feeling low...
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...you remember what I said to you.
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"Ronnie, I know
you're down in the dumps,
124
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,612
but as a fellow bachelor,
I know you're gonna bounce back,
125
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:02,570
because you may not be smart
126
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,281
and, uh, you may not be
good-looking,
127
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:10,165
but you got one thing
that every woman loves.
128
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,418
You have
an enormous beach house."
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00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,795
(ALL LAUGHING)
130
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:20,543
And that's why, when they called me
and told me that my, uh, friend,
131
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:24,964
my mentor had passed away
peacefully in his bed,
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I said, "That's exactly
how he would have wanted it."
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00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:32,763
Except maybe with a young redhead
lying on top of him.
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00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,598
(ALL LAUGHING)
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(YAWNS)
136
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,615

You know why Ronnie
died in his bed?
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00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:55,039
Because for two years
he never got out of that damn bed.
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I got a beautiful,
young girlfriend here,
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who guys half my age
are drooling over.
140
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,797
I'd marry her
before I'd give up like Ronnie.
141
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,300
Uh--
142
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,715
(CHUCKLES)
143
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,767
I said it, babe.
144
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,303
So, what do you think?
145
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,897
You want to get hitched?
146
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:22,479
Heh. Yes.
147
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,367
Sorry.
148
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,572
I'm sorry.
149
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,157
(CLATTERING)
150
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,412
So sorry.
151
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,283
Ronnie, I'll see
you in 30 years, pal.
152
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,621
(CORK POPS)
153
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:38,503
We bought this toy ring at CVS
on our way home yesterday.
154
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,959
Yeah, this is just a temporary one.
155
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,965
WOMAN: So sweet.
- Until we get the real thing.
156
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,468
- Yeah.
- By which he means the biggest one.
157
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,345
(ALL LAUGH)
158
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:49,256
Hello, Billy.
159
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,303
Hey, Neil.
160
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,686
Your daughter got this engagement
party together pretty fast, huh?
161
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:58,314
Yeah, she probably didn't want
to waste a lot of time, considering.
162
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:02,144
Yeah. Yeah.
163
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,532
Uh, excuse me one minute,
please.
164
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,115
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where--?
Where'd you get that bottle?
165
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,243
Ran out of Scotch, found this

in the back of that cabinet.
166
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:17,249
No, no, no. You-You don't want to open that.
167
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,250
No, no.
168
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,510
(PHONE RINGING)
169
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,263
(WHISPERING)
Hello?
170
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,595
Hey, is this the bionic man?
171
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,386

Hey, Billy, how you doing?
What's going on?
172
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:39,397
- What are you whispering about?
- Oh, uh, Miriam dragged me
173
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,604
to a hideous dinner party.
174
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,940
I'm, uh, just going through someone
named Abraham Rosenbaum's
175
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,821
medicine cabinet.
176
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,278
He's got some very deadly shit here.
177
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,193
- Hang on, let me patch in Archie.
- Okay.
178
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,407
(PHONE RINGING)
179
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,288
WOMAN 1 (ON TV):
--all these guys? Are you insane?
180
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,744
WOMAN 2: At least I have a husband.
WOMAN 1: Oh, whatev--
181
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,750
- Clayton residence.
- How you feeling, Arch?
182
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:05,665
Billy, hey, hey!

How you doing?
183
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,711
I'm just sitting here watching
this Housewives thing.
184
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,299
Horrible people, horrible.
185
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,304
- Hey, Arch.
ARCHIE: Hey, Sam.
186
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,091
- How's the titanium hip, man?
- No, the hip was last year.
187
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,805
Uh, it's my knee.
It's great, yeah.
188
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,720
I'm thinking about
having my balls done next.
189
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:20,764
(ARCHIE & BILLY LAUGH)
190
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,604
All right, listen, guys. I got something
important here, all right?
191
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:26,315
- Oh, shit, Billy.
- Heart or cancer?
192
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:27,524
Prostate? What?
193
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,281
Why every time the phone rings,

you think somebody's dying?
194
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,488
I live in Florida now.
Usually, when the phone rings,
195
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:35,119
- somebody is dying.
- No, I'm getting married.
196
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,951
- What?
- Wow.
197
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,706
ARCHIE:
To that lady who's half your age?
198
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:42,540
- She's almost 32.
- I have a hemorrhoid that's almost 32.
199
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,000
Now, look, Archie,
by the time she's my age,
200
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,506
okay, I'll be--
201
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:49,167
- Dead. You'll be dead, Billy.
SAM: Billy, Billy, Billy.
202
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,178
You've got your whole
what's left of your life ahead of you.
203
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,930
I mean, you know. Look at Archie.
204
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,340

He's divorced and miserable.
205
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:57,008
I've been married almost
40 years,
206
00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,927
and I wish I was as miserable
as Archie.
207
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,687
Can you guys maybe give me
a little support as my dearest friends?
208
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,814
- How about it?
- Sorry, you're right, sorry.
209
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,192
Yes, good-- It's good news.
210
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,694
We're happy
you're getting married.
211
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,776
Right. So--?
So how'd you pop the question?
212
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,111
You remember my friend Ronnie,
213
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,025
the guy I worked with,
uh, who trained me?
214
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:15,819
- Yeah, yeah, love that guy.
- Good guy.
215
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,282

Yeah, well, he died. I--
216
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,288
I proposed at the funeral.
217
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,545
- I got nothing. Arch?
- Nada.
218
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,797
So, Lisa, she doesn't
want a big wedding or anything,
219
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:30,550
so we're gonna get, uh, married
in Vegas this weekend.
220
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,802
So we're gonna have
a bachelor party in Vegas.
221
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:35,214
- No, no, come on, forget it.
- No, no, no, yes, we are.
222
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,757
- We are.
ARCHIE: It's your first wedding.
223
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,721
You threw all of our bachelor parties
for us.
224
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,476
- Two for me.
- Yeah, but we got no time.
225
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,763
- We're getting married on Sunday.
ARCHIE: Aw, Billy.
226
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,602
So we-- No, it's fine.
We fly in on Friday,
227
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,937
Saturday we give-- We give you
the best bachelor party
228
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,522
in the history of mankind,
229
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,983
and then on Sunday
your child-bride flies in and, uh--
230
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,443
- Voila.
- Are you serious?
231
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,653
- Yeah.
- Yeah, man.
232
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:57,615
Billy, it is 4:15 in the afternoon,
233
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,154
and I'm at a dinner party.
234
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,822
If I don't get out of here soon,
235
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:05,119
I'm gonna swallow all of
Abe Rosenbaum's pills at once.
236
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,414
- What about you, Arch?
ARCHIE: My son won't let me go.
237
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:11,799

I can't smoke, drink, eat salt,
or stay out past 9:00, but--
238
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,711
- Archie's in.
- All right, all right! No, I love this.
239
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,471
- This is great, man. Huh?
- We're invincible, baby.
240
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:21,555
- Flatbush Four, we ride again.
- Uh, the Flatbush Four, yes.
241
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:25,393
Yeah, so, uh, who's gonna call
Captain Sunshine?
242
00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:27,933
- Billy.
BILLY: Uh, look, guys...
243
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,352
I know he hates me now,
but he's got to be there.
244
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,021
You know it, I know it, so, uh,
245
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,110
do me a favor.
You guys figure it out, all right?
246
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,867
- I got to go now, I'm hanging up.
- Uh, wait, wait, Billy, Billy.
247
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,369
(LINE CLICKS)
248
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:42,747
ARCHIE: All right, I'll lie to my son,
you tell your wife.
249
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,833
Okay.
250
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,873
So your rental car confirmation
is in your bag.
251
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,508
And when you get to New York,
252
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,589
just follow the directions
to Archie's house.
253
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,550
- Ah, good.
- You getting excited?
254
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,760
Oh, yeah, sure.
Yeah.
255
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,721
Bachelor party in Vegas
with a bunch of old fogies. I--
256
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:05,103
- Oh, come on.
- You're angry at me,
257
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,514
- you don't want me to go. I'll stay.
- No, I'm not angry.
258
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,854
No, don't. Just, uh--
259
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,279
Don't open it
until you get to Las Vegas.
260
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:19,238
- What is it?
- No, honey, just leave it until you--
261
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,744
Okay, or now,
if you want to open it now.
262
00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:23,871
"What happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas"?
263
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,952
A condom and a Viagra?
264
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,623
- Where did you get a condom?

- That's your reaction?
265
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,338
I'm at the pharmacy 30 times a day,
I can get a condom.
266
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,718
Sweetheart, you're unhappy.
267
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,879
It's like the light has gone out
of your eyes.
268
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,845
And the Florida jokes,
they're-- They're getting tired.
269
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,009
And I-- I want my guy back.
270
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:48,726
Heh, so I-- I thought,
if-- If you...
271
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,391
I don't want to know what you do.
272
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,777
Don't tell me about it,
and we will never bring it up again.
273
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:57,906
You--? Is this some kind of trick?
What--?
274
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:03,241
- I'm afraid to get out of the car.
- Get out of the car.
275
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,451
- Are you--?
- Get out of the car.
276
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,830
Okay, love you.
277
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,539
Love you.
278
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:33,891
Ezra!
279
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,529
- I thought you left for work.
- I had to make some phone calls.
280
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,156
- Are you gonna get out of bed?
- No.
281
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,192

Cold. Pfft. Cold.
282
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,612
Pop, it-- It's, uh,
sweltering in here.
283
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,576
- Is it?
- Yeah.
284
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,866
Listen, maybe I should,
um, stay home today.
285
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:53,161
No. You-You don't have to do that.
286
00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:56,126
Thing is, uh...
287
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,170
...last night...
288
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,344
...I peed myself.
289
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,927
Oh, Pop, I'm sorry.
290
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,933
It's just one of those things
a man has to deal with, alone.
291
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,595
Okay, all right.
292
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,349
Ah-ta-ta-ta.
293
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,142
Open the damn trunk, Sam.
294
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,069
Wait, it's a rental!
I don't know where the thing is!
295
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:02,697
Hang on, hang on!
There it is.
296
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,905
(DOOR ALERT CHIMING)
297
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,694
It's Open!
298
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,497
- Let go of the handle.
- Sam, unlock the door.
299
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:22,292
Let go of it.
Let go of the handle!
300
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,051
- What?
- Just step back!
301
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,091
(ENGINE STARTS)
302
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,056
ARCHIE:
Go, go, go.
303
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,308
SAM:
Seat belt, seat belt.
304
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,724

- Archibald.
ARCHIE: Hey, Sam.
305
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,233
SAM:
You look good.
306
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,235
ARCHIE:
You lie good.
307
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,788
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
308
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,244
ARCHIE:
Yeah.
309
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,080
There it is.
310
00:17:58,661 --> 00:17:59,958
(ARCHIE CHUCKLES)
311
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,249
- Let's start the gambling early.
- What?
312
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,008
Hundred dollars
says Paddy will not come.
313
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,668
No, no, he's got to come.
314
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,133
Billy's come through for us
more times than I can count.
315
00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,468
It's our turn.
316
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,136
- Prick!
- Ha-ha-ha!
317
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:16,896
Asshole.
318
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,647
- Hey. Good to see you.
- Ah.
319
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:20,353
What the hell are you doing
in Brooklyn?
320
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,063
I heard there was
a bathrobe convention.
321
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,649
- Have I come to the right spot?
- Don't be a smart-ass.
322
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,190
- Come on in.
- Heh, Archie's here too.
323
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,779
Uh, he's out in the car.
He couldn't make the--
324
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,615
All the flights of stairs
in his condition.
325
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:32,994
- Archie's here?
- Yeah.
326
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,156

- In the car.
- What's going on?
327
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,041
Well, the three of us are, uh,
328
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,701
gonna go to Las Vegas
for the weekend.
329
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:41,625
Why on earth would I ever want
to go to Vegas?
330
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,040
For fun! Remember fun?
331
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,800
That thing you used to have
before the permanent scowl set in?
332
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,586
Come on, I don't have
a permanent scowl.
333
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,380
- He said with a scowl.
- I don't!
334
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,924
Okay, it's not a scowl,
you're just ugly.
335
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,137
(SCOFFS)
336
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,429
Look, just throw some things in a bag.
The flight leaves in a couple of hours.
337
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,097

Come on!
We're not leaving without you.
338
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:00,936
Either you come with us,
or we move in.
339
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,896
Hold on, hold on.
You show up out of nowhere,
340
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,777
you say we're going to Vegas.
You know what?
341
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:08,109
- This smells of Billy Gherson.
- Oh, Paddy, Billy Gher--?
342
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,694
This-- This has nothing to--
343
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,985
Billy, we want him to come,
of course.
344
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,653
But then he-You know, he's got a big
345
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,617
- important thing he has to do.
- Of course.
346
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,123
He always has something important.
347
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,000
That's the problem.
It's always about him, him, him.
348
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,207
- What's that about?
SAM: That's just Billy!
349
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,963
- Put it behind you!
PADDY: That's right,
350
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,589
he's got more important
things to do.
351
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,546
I have more important
things to do right here.
352
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,881
What's with the pictures of Sophie?
They're everywhere.
353
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:32,092

Everywhere I turn,
that's all I see: Sophie!
354
00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,052
It's getting a little morbid,
don't you think?
355
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,717
- Don't-- Don't touch those.
- Oh.
356
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,635
PADDY: Jesus.
SAM: Okay, sorry.
357
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,554
- I like looking at her.
- Okay.
358
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,393
That stays there,

this stays here.
359
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:44,729
Okay.
But you come with me to Vegas.
360
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:48,693
Paddy, you have got to come
with us to Las Vegas.
361
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,822
If you think
I'm leaving this apartment,
362
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,198
you're dumber than that hat.
363
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,032
Say what you want to me,
but leave my hat out of this, okay?
364
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,741
My hat has never done
a thing to you.
365
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,657
- I'm not going to Vegas!
- Paddy!
366
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,747
(WHEEZING)
367
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,417
What, are you--? Are you nuts?
368
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,377
You're gonna give yourself
another stroke!
369
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,541
Archie, you okay?
370
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,005
(WHEEZING)
371
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,795
- Is he--?
- The stairs. Paddy.
372
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,714
You got to come.
373
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,598
You got to come
to Vegas with us.
374
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,389
- Please, Paddy.
- Okay. Okay.
375
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,145

Okay! All right, I'll go!
376
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,522
I'll go! I'm going!
I'm going, okay?
377
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,604
- Great.
- I got to pack.
378
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,860
- Prick.
- Asshole.
379
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:37,362
That was well done.
380
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,207
PADDY:
So Billy was so busy,
381
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,414
he couldn't spend the weekend with
his three oldest friends in the world.
382
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:45,669
Typical.
383
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:48,172
Once a selfish bastard,
always a selfish bastard.
384
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,674
Never changes.
Never, never changes.
385
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,256
You know, that's the thing
about him, he's just the way he is.
386
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,888

What was so important that
he couldn't spend it with us?
387
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,093
So important?
388
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,304
I agree with everything
you've said, Paddy.
389
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:00,889
For the last four hours.
390
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,678
PADDY:
Him, him, him.
391
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,438
He didn't even call.
392
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,350
You know, he-- A disappointment.
He didn't...
393
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,860
He didn't even call.
All I can say is, if I ever,
394
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:12,363
ever run into that son of a bitch
again, that prick, I'll...
395
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,864
Forget it.
396
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,775
- He'll regret the day...
- Hey!
397
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,534
Ha, ha! Well!
398
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:18,740
- Surprise!
SAM: Hey!
399
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,530
Hey, Archie, how you doing?
Sam.
400
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:23,165
Hey! Ya)'. fun. Fun!
401
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:25,076
Hey, hey,
what's that hair color?
402
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,619
- Hazelnut?
- Have you got more hair
403
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:27,833
than you used to have?
404
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:30,214
- Oh, stop it, will you?
- You've got more hair than--
405
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,124
Where'd you get the extra hair?
406
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,259
His ass.
407
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,011
Hey, look, don't be upset
with them, Pat.
408
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,888
- It wasn't their fault.
- I'm going home.
409
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:40,049
Paddy, look,
I'm getting married, okay?
410
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,184
This is a bachelor party,
I needed you here.
411
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:43,811
- I'm going home.
- How many times
412
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,186
do I got to tell you I'm sorry?
413
00:21:45,346 --> 00:21:47,690
You can't say it enough, my friend.
You can't say it enough.
414
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,691

Every time I see you,
we go through this shit.
415
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,694
One more word, I'm gonna knock
your block off like I did in fifth grade.
416
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,902
All right, all right, all right.
Hey, hey, hey! Knock this shit off!
417
00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:58,159
The hell's the matter with you?
418
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,911
Now we're here together,
the four of us.
419
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:04,415
We're here to celebrate
Billy marrying an infant.
420
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,166
- She's not an infant.
- Shut up, Billy!
421
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:09,078
Archie, blood pressure?
422
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,372
I need this.
423
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:13,462
Sam needs this.
424
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:17,549
And believe it or not, you two
jerk-offs need it most of all.
425
00:22:17,711 --> 00:22:20,305
Now, either you'll manage

to be civil with each other,
426
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:23,468
or so help me, I'm gonna rain
holy hell down on both of you.
427
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:25,136
You understand?
428
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:27,225
- Huh?
- Yeah.
429
00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:30,141
I'm gonna go find some damn water
and take all my damn pills.
430
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:33,277
Then we gonna get
this damn party started.
431
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:35,733
Yeah.
432
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,569
It's gonna be fun.
433
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:40,905
PADDY: Where to?
SAM: Remember Binion's,
434
00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:42,661
where I had my bachelor party?
435
00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:43,912
(ARCHIE LAUGHS)
436
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:46,449
SAM: I looked it up on the Google,
they've just renovated it.
437
00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:49,334
- Billy, Miriam gave me a condom...
PADDY: He won't shut up about it.
438
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,666
SAM: I won't shut up?
BILLY: You sound like 6 year olds.
439
00:22:51,829 --> 00:22:53,957
SAM: Billy, now that you've got
ass-hair on your head,
440
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:55,796
do you wash your hair,
or do you just wipe?
441
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:57,631
(ALL LAUGHING)
442
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,769

(SLOT MACHINES DINGING)
443
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,993
- Pardon me.
- Uh, excuse me.
444
00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:25,951
Um, where's the check-in desk?
445
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:29,117
- Check-in desk?
- For the hotel? Check-in?
446
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:32,457
Hell, they closed the hotel part
down for remodeling months ago.
447
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:35,999
Reopening next year.
It's gonna be real nice.
448
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,545
Uh, we have a problem.
449
00:23:40,711 --> 00:23:44,557
The rooms, uh, aren't gonna be ready
for another year and a half.
450
00:23:44,715 --> 00:23:45,887
They're still remodeling.
451
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,553
Archibald, did this topic
452
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,471
come up when you made
the reservation?
453
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:54,313
No, because you insisted
on making the reservations.
454
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:58,525
I insisted, but then you insisted,
and it is the second insister
455
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,815
- that supersedes the first.
- Sam. Sam.
456
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:03,484
I offered, you insisted.
457
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:05,369
Guys, guys,
don't worry about it, all right?
458
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:07,529
Lisa and I are staying
at the Aria for the wedding.
459
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:10,324
- I'm just texting my assistant.
- Yeah, see that? No problem.
460
00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:12,619
Big shot's assistant
will take care of everything.
461
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:16,710
Meantime, I got to look for a bathroom.
Or don't they have that either?
462
00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,044
ARCHIE:
Okay.
463
00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:19,709
We'll go to your hotel.
464
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,924
- But we're the ones getting the rooms.

SAM: Yeah, that's right.
465
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:25,840
Soon as I have a drink.
It's 5:00 in Florida.
466
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:28,179
- I'll join you.
- If you insist.
467
00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:31,016
You know, Sam, it was you who
insisted on making the reservation.
468
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:33,180
And where'd you get that silly hat?
469
00:24:33,347 --> 00:24:35,520
SAM: Oh, why is my hat
the default insult?
470
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:39,904
WOMAN (SINGING):
Can thrill me like you do
471
00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:43,779
And fill my heart with love
472
00:24:43,941 --> 00:24:46,911
For only you
473
00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:51,123
Only you
474
00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:55,620
Can make this change in me
475
00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:59,757
For it's true
476
00:24:59,915 --> 00:25:04,261
You are my destiny
477
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:08,891
When you hold my hand
I understand
478
00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:11,768
The magic that you do
479
00:25:12,302 --> 00:25:15,021
You're my dream come true
480
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:19,151
My one and only you
481
00:25:20,561 --> 00:25:23,030
Only you
482
00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:28,152

Only you can make
This change in me
483
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:31,288
484
00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:36,081
You are my destiny
485
00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:38,666
When you hold my hand
486
00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:40,831
I understand
487
00:25:40,998 --> 00:25:45,549
The magic that you do
488
00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:49,841
You're my dream come true
489
00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:55,730
My one and only
490
00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:59,313
You
491
00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,608
All right. All right.
492
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,857
ARCHIE:
Terrific.
493
00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:09,698
Thank you! But all that tells me is
that wherever you guys are from,
494
00:26:09,860 --> 00:26:11,407
you lack quality entertainment.
495
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:12,992
(ALL LAUGH)
496
00:26:13,155 --> 00:26:14,748
Okay, that'll do it for me.
497
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:18,832
Make sure to tip your waitresses.
It's pretty funny when they fall over.
498
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:21,338
- Ha-ha-ha!
- Oof.
499
00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:23,423
Sam, Sam.
500
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:24,629
No, she's good, she's good.
501
00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:27,011
My friends and I, uh,
would like to buy you a drink.
502
00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:29,012
Um, you were the ones laughing.
503
00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:30,889
In that case,
I should buy you a drink.
504
00:26:31,048 --> 00:26:32,595
- Ah, heh.
- Oh, hardly.
505
00:26:32,758 --> 00:26:34,510
- I'm Diana Boyle.
- Hi, I'm Billy Gherson.
506
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,019
- I'm Archie Clayton.
- Hey.
507
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:39,648
- Hi. Uh, that's Sam Harris.
- Hey, Diana, please, sit down.
508
00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,901
- Let go of her hand.
- Thank you.
509
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:45,609
SAM: Wow. You were-That was just incredible.
510
00:26:45,771 --> 00:26:47,944
And-- And I'm just gonna
preemptively just put my cards
511
00:26:48,107 --> 00:26:50,109

- on the table, and say that-- Ah.
BILLY: Sam.
512
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:54,655
My wife of 40 years
has given me permission to,
513
00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:59,578
basically, uh, cheat on her
this next few days.
514
00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:02,917
And so I just wanted to
let you know, in case, uh, you...
515
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,424
- I'm available.
- That's a generous offer.
516
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,050
Are you good in bed, Sam?
517
00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:10,341
I don't remember.
518
00:27:10,504 --> 00:27:12,051
ARCHIE: Ha-ha-ha.
- Great!
519
00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:14,012
(ALL LAUGHING)
520
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:18,851
Uh, Carol, could I have
a Sapphire Martini, straight up
521
00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:21,106
- with a twist, please? Gentlemen?
CAROL: All right.
522
00:27:21,265 --> 00:27:22,858

Uh, what--? Uh, no alcohol.
523
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:24,438
- He won't have alcohol.
- What?
524
00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:27,525
Bombay Sapphire martini,
straight up.
525
00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:29,065
Don't pay any mind to him.
526
00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:31,609
- I'm a big drinker, I drink all the time.
DIANA: Okay, okay.
527
00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:33,277
- Bring him two.
- And I'll have one.
528
00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:34,615
I'll-- I'll have one as well.
529
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:36,701
So, what brings you boys to Vegas?
530
00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:39,492
I'll tell you what brings us to Vegas:
a big fat liar.
531
00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:42,161
I just wanted to come over
and tell you how much I enjoyed
532
00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:43,954
- your performance.
- Oh, thank you.
533
00:27:44,121 --> 00:27:45,964
You're no spring chicken,

but you deserve better
534
00:27:46,123 --> 00:27:48,251
- than being around these lowlifes.
- Wow!
535
00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:50,715
Prince Charming, is that you?
536
00:27:50,878 --> 00:27:53,472
You are so much shorter
than I thought you would be.
537
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:55,598
(ALL LAUGH)
538
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:59,352
No, actually we're here, uh,
for a wedding.
539
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:01,809
Our friend Hazelnut
is tying the knot on Sunday.
540
00:28:01,972 --> 00:28:05,021
- Yeah? Oh.
- So, all right. So long, jerk-offs.
541
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:08,028
I'm gonna go look for a hotel
that actually has hotel rooms.
542
00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:09,564
Wait, wait.
Why are you leaving?
543
00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:11,528
Because of this schmuck,
that's why.
544
00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,818

We got a couple
of unresolved issues.
545
00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:15,281
Is he a schmuck?
546
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:19,164
- It's a gray area.
DIANA: Hmm.
547
00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:21,371
We've been best friends
since we're 6 years old.
548
00:28:21,533 --> 00:28:24,332
My wife dies about a year ago, he
doesn't even show up for the funeral.
549
00:28:24,494 --> 00:28:26,622
It's a little more complicated
than that. I--
550
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:29,667
Yeah, sends me flowers with a note
that says "Sorry for your loss."
551
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,052
Schmuck.
552
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,509
Well, I am sorry
that you're leaving.
553
00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:37,015
Clearly I need someone
to look out for me,
554
00:28:37,174 --> 00:28:41,554
seeing as how I'm associating
with an alcoholic, an adulterer
555
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,347
- and a schmuck.
ARCHIE: Heh, heh.
556
00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:44,685
I like you.
557
00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:45,895
- Well.
- Pat Connors.
558
00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:47,810
Still Diana Boyle.
559
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:49,023
- Diana?
- Ah!
560
00:28:49,186 --> 00:28:50,438
- Oh, look here.
- There you are.
561
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:54,234
To the first bachelor party
I've ever attended
562
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:55,992
that could be covered
by Medicare.
563
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:58,324
- Ha-ha-ha.
- And, um, to the only
564
00:28:58,487 --> 00:29:01,206
people here who actually
listened to me sing.
565
00:29:01,365 --> 00:29:02,617
Thank you for that.
566
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:04,251
(GLASSES CLINKING)
567
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:06,832
Hey, you, eye contact.
568
00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,872
Doesn't mean a thing
without eye contact.
569
00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:15,221
How old is the woman
that he is marrying?
570
00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:18,007
- Uh, she's, uh...
- Oh, well, you know, she's...
571
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:20,175
- Uh, just, uh, in her...
- 30-ish.
572
00:29:20,342 --> 00:29:21,719
Oh, sweet Jesus.
573
00:29:21,885 --> 00:29:23,887
Guys, come on, we got to
get going here, all right?
574
00:29:24,054 --> 00:29:26,273
- Let's get over to the Aria.
- Oh, that's a great hotel.
575
00:29:26,431 --> 00:29:28,559
- Has my lucky big wheel.
- Mm. Big wheel.
576
00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:31,023
- Then you're coming with us.
- She is?
577
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,938
(HORNS HONKING)
578
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:34,857
(ALL CHATTERING)
579
00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:36,866
What the hell is
with this traffic?
580
00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:38,823
- Are you comfortable?
- No, I'm-- I'm fine.
581
00:29:38,986 --> 00:29:41,910
- I can make him sit in the back.
- No, he doesn't have to go in the back.
582
00:29:42,072 --> 00:29:43,619
- Are you sure?
- Screw this, all right?
583
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:45,409
- Let's just get out of here.
- What?
584
00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:46,952
- Let's get out. Screw it.
- Really?
585
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,712
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go.
Lead on, man.
586
00:29:56,420 --> 00:29:58,218
(WOMEN GIGGLE)
587
00:29:58,380 --> 00:29:59,723
Whoo-hoo, hoo-hoo.
588
00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,258

(MEN CHEERING)
589
00:30:01,425 --> 00:30:03,803
ALL (CHANTING):
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
590
00:30:03,969 --> 00:30:05,687
(CHEERING)
591
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,400
What is that, a map?
592
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,107
Look at them.
593
00:30:13,270 --> 00:30:15,147
The moron brigade.
594
00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:28,502
So now it's just me, on my own.
595
00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:32,085
There's this young girl, a neighbor,
she keeps trying to bring me soup.
596
00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:34,841
- Well, she sounds terrible.
- She is terrible.
597
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,217
Soup's not bad.
598
00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:37,753
(LAUGHS)
599
00:30:45,635 --> 00:30:46,852
- Aria.
- Gentlemen checking in?
600
00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,434

Gherson. Gherson.
601
00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,019
I'll take that, sir.
602
00:31:01,818 --> 00:31:03,661
(SIGHS)
603
00:31:03,820 --> 00:31:06,949
All right, gentlemen, I'm gonna
touch base with my bride-to-be.
604
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:08,583
She has her own phone?
605
00:31:08,742 --> 00:31:10,210
Yes, Archie,
she has her own phone.
606
00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,542

- Not a toy phone?
- Children are learning more and more
607
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:15,127
about new technology.
They're younger and younger.
608
00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:17,008
Oh, like a baby monitor?
609
00:31:17,167 --> 00:31:18,714
You guys finished?
610
00:31:19,378 --> 00:31:21,676
- Not yet.
- All right, huddle up, huddle up.
611
00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:24,557
You are surrounded
by slot machines,
612
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:27,811
poker, roulette,
and there are girls at every bar.
613
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:30,347
I want to hear stories,
I want to hear results,
614
00:31:30,514 --> 00:31:32,642
I want to hear all of you
getting in trouble.
615
00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:35,277
And I'm sure
this young lady can help you.
616
00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:37,187
See you back here.
617
00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:40,949

DIANA: Ah, this is
the one, this is the one.
618
00:31:41,108 --> 00:31:43,702
Okay, so put a dollar down.
619
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,113
- I don't gamble.
- Oh, this is not gambling.
620
00:31:46,279 --> 00:31:48,452
This, my friend, is a sure thing.
621
00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:52,995
- Yeah, but it's throwing money away.
- Come on, Paddy, give me a dollar.
622
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,171
- Perfect, we're in.
WOMAN: Good luck.
623
00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:57,128
Come on.
Come on.
624
00:31:57,290 --> 00:31:59,042
Come on.
625
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:03,593
Oh, congratulations!
Five dollars off the buffet.
626
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:05,382
Yes, we did it.
627
00:32:05,549 --> 00:32:08,553
Our lives are changed forever,
Paddy. Can you feel it?
628
00:32:08,718 --> 00:32:11,938
All right, Paddy, you just won

five dollars off the buffet.
629
00:32:12,097 --> 00:32:14,065
- What are you gonna do first?
- Go to the buffet.
630
00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:16,067
He's going to the buffet,
ladies and gentlemen,
631
00:32:16,226 --> 00:32:17,728
the man is going to the buffet.
Yay!
632
00:32:17,894 --> 00:32:21,114
Paddy, Paddy, Paddy, uh, uh,
the good news is that this hotel
633
00:32:21,273 --> 00:32:22,991
actually does have rooms.
634
00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:24,823
The bad news is that
none are available.
635
00:32:25,026 --> 00:32:26,243
Don't tell Billy, please.
636
00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:28,872
I don't give a flying fart about Billy.
Where am I gonna sleep?
637
00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:31,249
Well, they said
they might have some after 6.
638
00:32:31,408 --> 00:32:33,001
So here's the deal:
639
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,333
Lisa wants me
to check out the chapel.
640
00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:37,839
Heh, she's got you on a short leash,
doesn't she?
641
00:32:37,998 --> 00:32:40,592
- Kids these days.
- Well, would Mrs. Don Rickles
642
00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:42,423
happen to know
where the chapel is?
643
00:32:42,586 --> 00:32:44,463
I do, and I will show you.
644
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:47,007
- That's okay, that's fine, I'll find it-- No, no, no, shh.
645
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:50,018
- I'm being wonderful.
SAM: Take your time.
646
00:32:50,177 --> 00:32:53,181
Plenty of time.
We got till 6.
647
00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:59,357
Blackjack.
I used to like blackjack.
648
00:32:59,519 --> 00:33:02,238
- Archie?
- Archie.
649
00:33:03,148 --> 00:33:04,900
(SAM GROANS)
650
00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:07,949

SAM: I'm a little concerned...
PADDY: Yeah.
651
00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:10,455
Uh, ahem.
Can I sit here?
652
00:33:10,614 --> 00:33:12,867
- Every time.
- Yes, of course, sir.
653
00:33:13,033 --> 00:33:15,582
- Yeah, sit down.
WAITRESS: Cocktail, cigarettes?
654
00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,424
- Sir?
- Yeah?
655
00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:23,381
Sir, I think she's asking

if you have
656
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:25,887
any, uh, money in that
fanny pack of yours.
657
00:33:26,046 --> 00:33:28,140
- Oh. Ha, ha.
- Yeah, there you go.
658
00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:30,141
WAITRESS:
Excuse me, cocktails.
659
00:33:30,300 --> 00:33:32,723
SAM: Holy crap,
what, did you rob a bank?
660
00:33:32,886 --> 00:33:36,766
Sort of. I emptied out
half my pension, $15,000.
661
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,184
SAM: What?
PADDY: You all right?
662
00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:40,148
Guys, come on.
663
00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,654
I'm on a weekend furlough
from prison.
664
00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:45,235
I don't know about you,
but I'm making the most of it.
665
00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:47,526
Seriously, count a
little slower, Ling.
666
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,911
- Come on, Paddy, join us, this is-- Oh.
- Oh!
667
00:33:50,070 --> 00:33:51,117
Uh, sorry.
668
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:53,281
Kidding me?
It's like you did that on purpose.
669
00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:55,075
No, no, it's-It was just an accident.
670
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:57,119
What are you, his bodyguard?
No, you know what?
671
00:33:57,285 --> 00:33:59,879
Thank you, guys, for killing

a really, really hot table.
672
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,711
We're done.
673
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:03,837
Fifteen thousand coming in.
674
00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:09,339
And on that happy note,
I've got a certain prophylactic device
675
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:11,429
burning a hole in my pocket.
676
00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:13,559
I will see you gentlemen later.
677
00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:16,396
- Sam. Sam?
- What?
678
00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,228
Glasses. Take your glasses off.
679
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:20,768
Makes you look younger.
680
00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:26,239
- He does?
- No.
681
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,025
(CHATTERING)
682
00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:29,534
WOMAN:
Hi.
683
00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:32,867

- Hello, sir.
- A, uh, gin and tonic.
684
00:34:33,029 --> 00:34:34,326
BARTENDER:
Right away.
685
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:39,957
Hi.
686
00:34:49,129 --> 00:34:50,631
WOMAN 1:
You have to see it.
687
00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,049
WOMAN 2:
I'm sure.
688
00:34:52,215 --> 00:34:54,217
WOMAN 3: There he is.
Hi.
689
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:56,182
Hello.
690
00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:58,813
- Come here often?
- As a matter of fact, I do.
691
00:34:58,972 --> 00:35:01,066
It's a good place for me to relax
between shows.
692
00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:03,443
Between shows?
Your shows-- Your show?
693
00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:05,445
Yeah, I love this place.
It's got a nice, uh,
694
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,698
"anything can happen"
kind of atmosphere,
695
00:35:07,856 --> 00:35:08,903
you know what I mean?
696
00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:11,318
Oh, is that a wedding ring
you're sporting there?
697
00:35:11,484 --> 00:35:14,328
It is a wedding ring, but, uh,
the great thing is, I have permission.
698
00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:16,990
My wife is, uh,
very open.
699
00:35:17,157 --> 00:35:18,204
Well, okay.
700
00:35:18,366 --> 00:35:20,460
Okay...?
701
00:35:20,660 --> 00:35:23,413
Okay, well, uh, let me-Let me buy you another drink.
702
00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,629
- I just have one question for you.
- What's that?
703
00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:28,885
(IN DEEP VOICE)
What would my wife think?
704
00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:30,386
What? Hol...
705
00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:33,340

Excuse me, I just have...
706
00:35:34,341 --> 00:35:36,594
Oh. Oh.
707
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,228
I'm-- You're-- You're-- I--
708
00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:40,138
You're a-- You're a trans--
709
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:42,774
Trans... planted New Yorker?
710
00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:45,481
- New Jersey.
- Jersey? Oh, Brooklyn. Oh.
711
00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,271
You look fantastic.
712
00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:50,281
And I do not judge,
I make no judgments-.
713
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:51,862
Oh, no, no.
No judgment here either.
714
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:53,117
"Papa Don't Preach."
715
00:35:53,276 --> 00:35:55,745
- No, no, good.
- It's a Madonna song.
716
00:35:56,905 --> 00:35:59,579
I get it. You're Madonna.
717
00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:01,368

Uh, hello, I'm Sam.
718
00:36:01,534 --> 00:36:03,207
- Sam Harris.
- Maurice Tischler.
719
00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:05,751
Yeah.
720
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:07,291
This is it.
721
00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:09,050
If you're gonna
get hitched in Vegas,
722
00:36:09,209 --> 00:36:11,587
this is pretty much the least
depressing place you can do it.
723
00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,050
(BILLY CHUCKLES)
724
00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,466
Hey, I like it.
725
00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:18,017
Well, good.
726
00:36:18,468 --> 00:36:20,220
I will, uh, leave you to it.
727
00:36:20,387 --> 00:36:21,730
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
728
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:25,233
Welcome to where love takes flight.
729
00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:27,064

Hi. Billy Gherson.
730
00:36:27,227 --> 00:36:28,945
- Oh, yes, yes, Mr. Gherson.
- Hi.
731
00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:30,947
I should have known. Ha, ha.
732
00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:33,700
I've seen a lot of couples
come down this aisle.
733
00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:35,576
I can always tell
when it's true love.
734
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:36,907
(BILLY CHUCKLES)
735
00:36:37,070 --> 00:36:40,370
Uh, no, no, no,
this is not my fiance.
736
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:41,784
- No.
DIANA: Oh, no, no, no.
737
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,545
This man would never marry
someone even close to his own age.
738
00:36:46,579 --> 00:36:48,456
So who are you?
739
00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:49,920
I'm his mother.
740
00:36:52,127 --> 00:36:54,880
So we got a lounge singer
of a certain age.
741
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:58,095
- Oh, how delicately put.
- But not from here.
742
00:36:58,258 --> 00:36:59,760
- Atlanta.
- Right.
743
00:36:59,926 --> 00:37:03,556
In my former life,
I was a tax attorney.
744
00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:06,475
Um, I raised a daughter on my own.
745
00:37:06,641 --> 00:37:11,147
Her father was an asshole
of epic proportions,
746
00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:13,690
and I got her through school
and, um...
747
00:37:13,857 --> 00:37:16,986
Now, I am giving you the full bio here.
Should I stop or...?
748
00:37:17,152 --> 00:37:18,574
- No, no, no, go on, go on.
- Really?
749
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,284
- Yes.
- Okay. Um...
750
00:37:20,447 --> 00:37:21,949
And so a few months ago,
751
00:37:22,115 --> 00:37:25,039
I found myself downsized

and empty-nested,
752
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:27,420
and I asked myself,
753
00:37:27,579 --> 00:37:31,959
"What do you really want to do
with your life, Diana Boyle?"
754
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:35,925
And what I really wanted to do
was sing.
755
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,215
I'm a little old for American Idol.
756
00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:41,055
- Oh.
- So I figured Vegas.
757
00:37:41,217 --> 00:37:44,892
And so, you know,
as they say, it goes.
758
00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:48,354
A big shot at Binion's needed
some legal advice,
759
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:53,067
so basically, I got that gig
sewed up till I drop.
760
00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:58,152
It was nice of you
to walk me to my car.
761
00:37:58,318 --> 00:38:00,446
Oh, well, it was, um,
762
00:38:00,612 --> 00:38:03,456
nice of you to walk

me to the chapel.
763
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:09,671
You know, you are not as charming
as you think you are.
764
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:12,795
Well, no one could be,
quite frankly.
765
00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:17,428
It was nice.
766
00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:22,593
Congratulations!
So long, schmuck!
767
00:38:24,511 --> 00:38:26,513
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
768
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:31,442
Hey, babe.
769
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,358
No, no, I just came from...
770
00:38:34,521 --> 00:38:36,023
Yeah.
771
00:38:36,189 --> 00:38:38,612
It's interesting. It's, uh...
772
00:38:38,775 --> 00:38:39,822
No, you're gonna love it.
773
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,452
You're really gonna love it.
774
00:38:41,611 --> 00:38:42,954
- Surgery?
MAURICE: Yeah.
775
00:38:43,112 --> 00:38:46,457
- That's-- That's a game-changer.
- Well, it's just a big commitment.
776
00:38:46,616 --> 00:38:49,290
There's no going back, you know.
It's not the pain,
777
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:51,830
- I mean, it's the recovery time.
- How long is the recovery?
778
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:54,215
It's like eight to 12 weeks.
It's hard for a man to take.
779
00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:56,297
- So he's out for the season.
- Totally out.
780
00:38:56,459 --> 00:38:59,008
That's why you gotta go
with the Packers, and the points.
781
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,013
- All the girls are making the same bet.
- Sam.
782
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:02,970
MAURICE: It's a no-brainer.
PADDY: Sam!
783
00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:04,850
Come on, come on.
784
00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:06,352
Uh...
785
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:07,888

Nice to meet you.
Madonna, Cher.
786
00:39:08,054 --> 00:39:09,647
- Yeah, I'm coming.
- Call me. Call me.
787
00:39:10,431 --> 00:39:11,774
Sam, where have you been?
788
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,606
I've been, uh,
working the room.
789
00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:15,486
You gotta stop him.
You gotta stop him.
790
00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:17,238
- What? Stop what?
- Archie, he lost it.
791
00:39:17,397 --> 00:39:18,444
Lost what?
792
00:39:23,111 --> 00:39:24,408
Archie?
793
00:39:38,751 --> 00:39:40,753
I'm so sorry, Archie.
794
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,554
I begged and I begged him,
he just wouldn't stop.
795
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:48,015
- I don't know what to say.
- Yeah, well, okay.
796
00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:52,098
Another bet, sir?
797
00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:54,271
How much was that last bet?
798
00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:56,562
- Nine thousand.
- He lost 9,000?
799
00:39:58,021 --> 00:39:59,364
- How much left?
- What are you doing?
800
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:00,739
Let me count.
801
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:03,701
You started with 15,000.
802
00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:05,203
Now you have...
803
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,035
...102,000, sir.
804
00:40:13,786 --> 00:40:15,504
Okay, I'm done.
805
00:40:16,706 --> 00:40:19,084
- Hundred and two thousand?
- That's enough.
806
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:21,423
SAM: Yeah, that's a good decision.
- Excuse me, sir,
807
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:22,758
are you a guest in the hotel?
808
00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:25,219
Oh, we were-- We really-We've gotta--
809
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:26,974
Actually, we just--
810
00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:28,806
Great game, great game,
great dealer.
811
00:40:28,968 --> 00:40:30,140
Great table, great game.
812
00:40:30,303 --> 00:40:31,395
How much?
813
00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:33,977
- Hundred and two thousand.
- Hundred and two.
814
00:40:34,599 --> 00:40:36,897

PADDY: So, what happened?
We break a rule or something?
815
00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:38,733
Are they gonna take
his money back or what?
816
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:39,942
SAM:
I don't know.
817
00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:41,651
("CAT'S IN THE CRADLE" RINGTONE PLAYING)
818
00:40:41,814 --> 00:40:44,442
My son. It's Ezra.
It's my son.
819
00:40:44,609 --> 00:40:46,077
Hello, Ezra.
820
00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:48,203
Wonderful to hear from you, son.
821
00:40:48,363 --> 00:40:51,833
Ezra, calm down.
Calm down. I'm at the church retreat.
822
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:53,834
(SLOT MACHINE ALARM RINGING)
(COINS CLINKING)
823
00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:55,245
(CHEERING)
824
00:40:55,411 --> 00:40:56,879
Uh, that? Um...
825
00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:59,791
That was the Holy Spirit
getting into people.
826
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:02,586
- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
827
00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:04,800
- Praise the Lord!
- Ezra, I'm going to have to go.
828
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:06,931
I think the Holy Spirit's
about to leave the room.
829
00:41:07,090 --> 00:41:09,138
I'm gonna see
if I can't stop him, okay?
830
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:11,018
- I shall not want.
- I love you, son. Amen.
831
00:41:11,177 --> 00:41:12,895
He maketh me to lie down-Did he buy it?
832
00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:15,022
I don't know, I was improvising,
same as you.
833
00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:16,433
Well...
834
00:41:16,599 --> 00:41:18,317
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
(ARCHIE SIGHS)
835
00:41:18,476 --> 00:41:20,103
- He-- He walketh me.
- Hello.
836
00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:22,067

The Lord is my shepherd.
837
00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:24,449
- Praise the-- Oh.
- It's Billy. Billy!
838
00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:25,984
BILLY (OVER PHONE):
I'm at the pool.
839
00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:27,777
- He's at the pool.
- What's he doing?
840
00:41:27,944 --> 00:41:30,038
- What's at the pool?
- Where is the pool?
841
00:41:30,363 --> 00:41:31,706
Welcome to Las Vegas.
842
00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:33,081
ARCHIE: Yes!
SAM: Yeah.
843
00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:34,413
- Relax, Gherson.
- Aw, yeah.
844
00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,873
It's not like you invented it.
845
00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:39,122
Oh, Jesus.
846
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:44,252
(BILLY AND ARCHIE HOWLING)
847
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:45,466
SAM:
Ay.
848
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:48,006
We got a bikini contest coming up!
849
00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:49,424
(ALL CHEERING)
850
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:52,768
- Who wants to be a judge?
- I do!
851
00:41:52,969 --> 00:41:54,186
(BILLY CHUCKLES)
852
00:41:56,264 --> 00:42:00,189
Idea. Let's see what
we can do with this.
853
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:02,236
Are you ready to Party Rock?
854
00:42:02,395 --> 00:42:04,318
(CHEERING)
855
00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:07,776
I go by the name of Redfoo!
856
00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:08,989
(CHEERING)
857
00:42:09,152 --> 00:42:11,780
Yeah, we got cash,
we got prizes,
858
00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:16,497
and we got the best judges
in the world!
859
00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:20,331
Put your hands up, put your hands up,

put your hands up!
860
00:42:20,496 --> 00:42:22,248
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
861
00:42:23,082 --> 00:42:24,334
Yeah!
862
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,218
Well, check your pulse, fellas,
863
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:30,427
because coming to the stage
is our first girl.
864
00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:35,391
She's from Seattle
and she likes to get wet, baby!
865
00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:38,727

- Whoo!
- Jessica!
866
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:41,643
MAN:
I love you, Jessica!
867
00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:46,614
REDFOO: Yeah,
look at them assets, baby!
868
00:42:46,773 --> 00:42:48,116
Yeah!
869
00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:51,114
Judges, judges,
what you got for Jessica?
870
00:42:53,071 --> 00:42:54,823
Ten, baby!
871
00:42:56,074 --> 00:42:57,417
Ten!
872
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,834
Ten! Yeah, baby!
873
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:03,794
Unh! Looking good.
874
00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:09,304
Next coming up is Christina,
and she's a redhead,
875
00:43:09,462 --> 00:43:11,135
and let me tell you,
876
00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:13,470
it's au naturel, baby.
877
00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:14,976
(ALL CHEERING)
878
00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:16,761
Judges?
879
00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:20,063
Ten, baby!
880
00:43:20,223 --> 00:43:21,566
(SCREAMS)
881
00:43:21,724 --> 00:43:23,692
Irena, baby, yeah!
882
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:27,071
Bring out Patrice!
883
00:43:30,983 --> 00:43:32,860
Ah! Come on and shout it!
884
00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:34,786
Baby!
885
00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:36,789
(AUDIENCE BOOING)
886
00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:39,667
(ARCHIE WHOOPING)
887
00:43:48,167 --> 00:43:49,510
Mm-hm, yeah!
888
00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:51,421
REDFOO:
Unh! Looking good!
889
00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:53,464
Yeah!
890
00:43:57,844 --> 00:43:59,562
Eleven!
891
00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:04,062
Let's get to know the judges.
892
00:44:04,225 --> 00:44:05,397
Can we get to know the judges?
893
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:07,187
What's your name there, sir?
894
00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:09,526
- Uh, Sam.
- All right.
895
00:44:09,689 --> 00:44:12,818
Oh, and I'm available,
I have a condom.
896
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:15,362
REDFOO:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby!
897
00:44:15,528 --> 00:44:19,123
Who's that?
What is your name, party planner?
898
00:44:19,282 --> 00:44:20,454
Uh, Paddy.
899
00:44:20,616 --> 00:44:22,084
Paddy!
900
00:44:22,285 --> 00:44:24,253
(CHEERING)
901
00:44:24,453 --> 00:44:29,209
Well, Paddy, I got a special package
just for you, baby!
902
00:44:35,548 --> 00:44:37,516
AW, yeah, baby!
903
00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:39,348
- Yeah, baby!
- Ha-ha-ha!
904
00:44:42,805 --> 00:44:44,603
Yeah, baby!
905
00:44:44,765 --> 00:44:46,813
(LAUGHING)
906
00:44:47,018 --> 00:44:49,020
I don't know how Paddy
could have given her a seven.
907
00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:51,110
She was too young.

She shouldn't have been there.
908
00:44:51,272 --> 00:44:53,115
- I liked Mr. Redfoo.
- Who's that?
909
00:44:53,274 --> 00:44:54,776
The guy who put his balls
in your face.
910
00:44:54,942 --> 00:44:56,285
- Oh, yeah, liked him.
- Ha-ha-ha.
911
00:44:56,444 --> 00:44:58,287
- He knows how to keep a party-- Mr. Clayton?
912
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:01,957
Quite a run you had at blackjack.
Can we talk?
913
00:45:02,617 --> 00:45:03,709
- Well, I-- Apparently,
914
00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:05,836
you aren't actually staying here,
is that correct?
915
00:45:05,995 --> 00:45:07,292
Now, wait a minute here.
916
00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:09,298
Are you suggesting my friend
is a card counter
917
00:45:09,457 --> 00:45:11,300
because he took your casino
for a hundred grand?
918
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:13,882
No, he won fair and square,
and actually we'd just like
919
00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:16,264
to have a chance
to win some of that money back
920
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:18,140
by giving you someplace
nice to stay.
921
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:19,676
Hey, Alan, you wanted
to talk to me?
922
00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,810
- Heh. This is Lonnie.
- Hey.
923
00:45:21,969 --> 00:45:23,971

He's gonna take care of you
this weekend.
924
00:45:24,138 --> 00:45:26,561
Uh, with all due respect,
I believe I'm actually assigned to--
925
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:28,397
- Uh, he canceled.
- He canceled?
926
00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:32,572
Yeah, give these
gentlemen Villa 4.
927
00:45:32,939 --> 00:45:36,614
Are you sure he canceled?
I just confirmed with his travel a--
928
00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:37,902
Good day, gentlemen.
929
00:45:39,153 --> 00:45:40,200
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
930
00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:41,831
SAM:
Thank you.
931
00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:45,205
I hope there's room enough
for four guys
932
00:45:45,368 --> 00:45:48,338
because there's no way
I'm sharing a bed with this cupcake.
933
00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:50,498
(ARCHIE & BILLY LAUGH)
934
00:45:51,874 --> 00:45:53,751
LONNIE:
The penthouse villa.
935
00:45:55,878 --> 00:45:58,677
Dollar for dollar, one of the best suites
in all of Vegas.
936
00:45:58,839 --> 00:46:00,432
Four bedrooms up top,
937
00:46:00,591 --> 00:46:02,434
fully stocked bar,
gourmet kitchen,
938
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,516
and all the amenities
you see before you.
939
00:46:04,679 --> 00:46:06,431
You know what I feel like?
940
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:07,894
I feel like a damn princess.
941
00:46:08,057 --> 00:46:09,104
(ARCHIE LAUGHS)
942
00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:10,981
So intimate,
that's what I love.
943
00:46:11,143 --> 00:46:13,521
I'm at your disposal for anything else
that you might need.
944
00:46:13,688 --> 00:46:15,565
Is that your job?
You're just here for us?
945
00:46:15,731 --> 00:46:17,950

You wouldn't believe who I was
supposed to be hosting.
946
00:46:18,109 --> 00:46:19,281
Who?
947
00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:20,490
(WHISPERS)
Fiddy.
948
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:21,825
Fiddy? P-Fiddy?
949
00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:24,537
- Fifty.
- Fifty people in here?
950
00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:27,077
No, no, 50 Cent.
Curtis Jackson.
951
00:46:27,243 --> 00:46:29,166
- Oh, from the Jackson 5, sure.
- Yeah, okay.
952
00:46:30,663 --> 00:46:32,757
50 Cent's a pretty big deal
in modern times,
953
00:46:32,915 --> 00:46:34,838
and one of the perks of hosting him is,
you know,
954
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:37,800
I get that second-and third-round
draft pick. You know what I mean?
955
00:46:37,962 --> 00:46:39,305
We don't.
956
00:46:39,672 --> 00:46:41,219

Like, the leftover...
957
00:46:41,549 --> 00:46:44,098
So I'm assuming you guys are not
gonna wanna visit our nightclub.
958
00:46:44,260 --> 00:46:46,262
Nightclub? Dancing?
959
00:46:46,429 --> 00:46:47,476
Yes, Mr. Clayton,
960
00:46:47,638 --> 00:46:50,107
I believe some people will be dancing
at the nightclub.
961
00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:53,019
Oh, all right.
Okay. Ah.
962
00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:55,313
Usually gets jumping
around 11:00.
963
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:57,823
If you like, I can pick you up
or wake you up.
964
00:46:57,982 --> 00:46:59,780
SAM: Oh!
- Oh, oh, oh.
965
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:02,411
ARCHIE: What are we talking about?
- That's when we come alive.
966
00:47:02,570 --> 00:47:04,243
Midnight at the disco,
we'll see you there.
967
00:47:04,405 --> 00:47:06,749

We're always up and about
after midnight on the weekends.
968
00:47:06,907 --> 00:47:09,410
- A little after, maybe.
- I'll leave you gentlemen to your fun.
969
00:47:09,577 --> 00:47:10,624
SAM: Thank you.
- Keys.
970
00:47:10,786 --> 00:47:12,504
ARCHIE: How do you get
these damn curtains open?
971
00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:14,210
SAM:
I know how these things work.
972
00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:16,091
ARCHIE:
Let's get some light in here, Jesus.
973
00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:19,094
LONNIE: We've got one of these
consoles in every single room.
974
00:47:19,253 --> 00:47:20,630
SAM:
Ready, one, two, three. Unh!
975
00:47:21,881 --> 00:47:23,849
Let me, uh,
help you geniuses.
976
00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:25,055
SAM:
The hell?
977
00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:27,094
PADDY: Okay.
SAM: Oh, there's a window.
978
00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:29,309
Oh, of course, of course.
979
00:47:29,472 --> 00:47:31,645
PADDY: A lot of times they just
put a light back there.
980
00:47:32,641 --> 00:47:34,643
SAM: It's probably fake.
It's fake. I give up.
981
00:47:34,810 --> 00:47:37,188
ARCHIE: Whoa, whoa.
SAM: Did you do that?
982
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:39,406
ARCHIE:
Whoa.
983
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:42,610
Curtains, music, lighting.
984
00:47:42,777 --> 00:47:44,654
And if you're really
feeling adventurous,
985
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:48,040
we now have color television.
Have a good day, sir.
986
00:47:48,199 --> 00:47:49,416
- Oh, cute.
- Ha, ha.
987
00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:52,044
Fellas, look at this.
988
00:47:52,203 --> 00:47:53,204
Oh, no.
989
00:47:54,497 --> 00:47:56,170
An old friend.
990
00:47:56,332 --> 00:47:57,709
Is that what I think it is?
991
00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,877
You mean you kept that
all this time?
992
00:48:00,044 --> 00:48:02,467
Goddamn right I have.
The Flatbush Four is back,
993
00:48:02,630 --> 00:48:04,428
and we're not on any
Brooklyn street corner,
994
00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:06,467
- man, we're on top of Vegas.

- Ha-ha-ha.
995
00:48:06,634 --> 00:48:08,557
Celebrating my wedding.
Heh.
996
00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,560
- Let's get it on! Ha-ha-ha!
- Let's go on.
997
00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:15,610
- I'll get some ice.
ARCHIE: Okay, all right, damn.
998
00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:17,736
Yeah, just like you,
Gherson.
999
00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:20,068
Let's forget about everything
we've done to hurt people.
1000
00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:22,700
Let's just move on
and celebrate me, that's all.
1001
00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:29,369
Paddy, I should have been there.
1002
00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:31,284
You're damn right
you should have been there.
1003
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:32,622
You should have been there,
1004
00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:35,038
and, you know, she wanted you
to do the eulogy.
1005
00:48:35,204 --> 00:48:36,831

She wanted you,
and you knew that.
1006
00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,965
She knew I would fall apart
in front of everybody,
1007
00:48:39,125 --> 00:48:41,719
and she knew you would make
everybody laugh, Mr. Comedian,
1008
00:48:41,877 --> 00:48:43,129
but no.
1009
00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:46,595
You didn't show up,
you were too busy.
1010
00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:48,475
Too busy for my wife's funeral,
1011
00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:51,934
our Sophie's funeral,
so I had to do it.
1012
00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:54,724
I didn't get one word out.
Broke down like a baby.
1013
00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,058
I'm sorry, Paddy.
1014
00:48:56,225 --> 00:48:58,227
Ah, no,
you're a phony, Gherson.
1015
00:48:58,394 --> 00:48:59,987
You always have been,
you always will be.
1016
00:49:00,146 --> 00:49:01,318

Everything about you is phony.
1017
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,608
Your teeth, your hair,
even your tan is phony.
1018
00:49:03,774 --> 00:49:05,447
Ah, Jesus, Paddy, you know, you--
1019
00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:08,328
Hey, Paddy, come on, man,
for crying out loud,
1020
00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:10,455
we're just trying to have
a nice weekend together.
1021
00:49:10,614 --> 00:49:12,491
Nice weekend?
You call this a nice weekend?
1022
00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:13,955
This is sad.
1023
00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:16,086
I'd give my left arm to be
with my wife right now,
1024
00:49:16,245 --> 00:49:18,498
and all Sammy wants to do
is cheat on his.
1025
00:49:18,664 --> 00:49:21,087
And, Archie, you're on some sort of
self-destructive bender,
1026
00:49:21,250 --> 00:49:24,550
cleaning out your pension fund
like you're so desperate to be alive.
1027
00:49:24,712 --> 00:49:26,885

And this guy wants us to validate
his marrying a child.
1028
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:30,142
Well, you know what? I'm not gonna
be part of this charade, not me.
1029
00:49:37,766 --> 00:49:39,359
Naptime.
1030
00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:41,566
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
1031
00:49:41,729 --> 00:49:43,777
(CHATTERING)
1032
00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:53,036
MAN: No, it's easy as long
as you have a couple girls...
1033
00:50:03,751 --> 00:50:04,968
Oh, my God.
1034
00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:07,755
Uh, we've been here
like an hour, Billy.
1035
00:50:07,922 --> 00:50:10,266
I think they're only letting
people with cleavage in.
1036
00:50:10,716 --> 00:50:12,059
Screw it, follow me.
1037
00:50:12,218 --> 00:50:14,061
- Ahem.
- Where are we going?
1038
00:50:14,220 --> 00:50:15,563
Billy?
1039
00:50:19,225 --> 00:50:21,944
So, what's it gonna take
for three VIPs?
1040
00:50:22,102 --> 00:50:23,854
Who's your VIP host?
1041
00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:25,273
- VIP host?
- VIP host.
1042
00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:27,237
Oh, that's what's-his--?
Uh, our friend, uh...
1043
00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:29,072
- Oh, yeah, yeah, um...
- Larry. Larry.
1044
00:50:29,235 --> 00:50:31,329

- Louie. Remember Louie?
- Lorrie? Louis? No, no, no.
1045
00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:33,740
- Larry? Larry, Larry.
- No, it's an "L."
1046
00:50:33,906 --> 00:50:35,749
No, you got it all wrong.
We don't know.
1047
00:50:35,908 --> 00:50:37,080
Uh, he's a nice guy.
1048
00:50:37,243 --> 00:50:38,335
Get back in line.
1049
00:50:38,911 --> 00:50:40,003
You sure about that, son?
1050
00:50:43,082 --> 00:50:45,050
(LAUGHING)
1051
00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:48,967
SAM:
He's laughing.
1052
00:50:49,129 --> 00:50:50,881
(ALL LAUGHING)
1053
00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:56,304
- Oh, y'all are serious, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
1054
00:50:56,470 --> 00:50:59,644
Look, the only way you guys
are getting in there tonight
1055
00:50:59,807 --> 00:51:01,480
is VIP bottle service.
1056
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:03,235
- All right, I got that.
- No, no, no.
1057
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:05,442
We got, we got it.
No, no, this is on us.
1058
00:51:05,604 --> 00:51:08,357
- Eighteen.
- Eighteen. Okay, 18.
1059
00:51:08,524 --> 00:51:10,822
- Here's my friend's ten.
- Yep.
1060
00:51:10,985 --> 00:51:13,238
And I've got-Here's one, two, three,
1061
00:51:13,404 --> 00:51:15,406
- and five.
- There you go.
1062
00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:18,747
And one for your warmth
and hospitality.
1063
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:22,004
- Eighteen hundred.
- Eighteen hundred what?
1064
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:24,381
Eighteen hundred
dollars, fellas.
1065
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:27,130
Fuck!
1066
00:51:27,293 --> 00:51:31,014
Uh, no, I got this.

I'm up $102,000.
1067
00:51:31,171 --> 00:51:32,263
We'll take the bottles.
1068
00:51:32,423 --> 00:51:34,596
Bottle. One bottle.
1069
00:51:35,718 --> 00:51:37,345
(IN UNISON)
You shitting me?
1070
00:51:40,389 --> 00:51:41,857
We'll take it.
1071
00:51:42,808 --> 00:51:44,151
1072
00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:46,153
(CROWD SHOUTING AND CHEERING)
1073
00:51:55,821 --> 00:51:58,290
BOUNCER: Here you go, fellas.
- Whoa!
1074
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,201
Ha, ha. All right.
1075
00:52:00,367 --> 00:52:01,584
- Thank you.
- Hey.
1076
00:52:02,244 --> 00:52:04,963
Gentlemen. Not too shabby, huh?
1077
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:07,124
- Not too.
- No wonder it's $1,800.
1078
00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:09,714

Look at the size of this thing.
1079
00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:12,050
MAN: Yeah, that's my boy!
Make it happen!
1080
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,304
- Hi.
ALL: Hi.
1081
00:52:16,967 --> 00:52:19,265
She's on my lap.
There's a girl on my lap.
1082
00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:21,522
- Do you mind?
- No, no, no.
1083
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,274
It's, uh-- It's titanium.
It, uh, can't feel a thing.
1084
00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:26,401
What can we start
you gentlemen off with?
1085
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:28,938
- How about some Red Bull vodkas?
- Yeah!
1086
00:52:29,104 --> 00:52:31,448
SAM: Red Bull vodkas.
- Uh, I probably should take it easy.
1087
00:52:31,607 --> 00:52:33,826
- How about just a glass of soda?
- Yeah, yeah, me too-.
1088
00:52:33,984 --> 00:52:36,237
I feel a little--
1089
00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:38,952
Well, I can't tell if I'm having
another stroke
1090
00:52:39,114 --> 00:52:40,787
or if it's these dad-gum lights.
1091
00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:43,452
- Huh?
- What's with you guys, all right?
1092
00:52:43,619 --> 00:52:45,621
- Huh?
- Today you were just fine.
1093
00:52:45,788 --> 00:52:47,540
Now all of a sudden
you're like two old dogs
1094
00:52:47,706 --> 00:52:50,255
being dragged out of the back

of the house to lie down and die.
1095
00:52:50,417 --> 00:52:52,135
Three Red Bull vodkas.
1096
00:52:53,087 --> 00:52:55,556
SAM: What's a rebel vodka?
- I don't know.
1097
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:57,637
(CHEERING)
1098
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,848
- He just asked for my number!
WOMAN: Ah, yeah, girl!
1099
00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:03,389
Hey, Sam. Got a little bachelorette
party going on over there.
1100
00:53:03,555 --> 00:53:07,605
I bet there's at least three girls there
that got some serious daddy issues.
1101
00:53:09,019 --> 00:53:10,566
- Archie!
- Huh?
1102
00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:12,231
- You said you wanted to dance.
- Yeah.
1103
00:53:12,398 --> 00:53:15,322
- Now's your chance.
- I'm still, uh, a little concerned about--
1104
00:53:15,484 --> 00:53:18,829
Oh, no, no, let's not talk
about Paddy now, huh? Please.
1105
00:53:18,987 --> 00:53:20,785

(DISHES CLINKING)
1106
00:53:25,244 --> 00:53:27,542
1107
00:53:34,586 --> 00:53:36,304
(RINGTONE STOPS)
1108
00:53:41,468 --> 00:53:43,641
1109
00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:51,483
ARCHIE: Boy, these
Red Balls" vodkas are strange.
1110
00:53:51,645 --> 00:53:55,195
I feel like I'm getting drunk
and electrocuted at the same time.
1111
00:53:55,357 --> 00:53:58,327

And the music! Loud!
Like everything sounds alike.
1112
00:53:58,485 --> 00:54:01,864
Like they're playing the same song
over and over and over and over again.
1113
00:54:02,030 --> 00:54:05,204
I probably should get up and dance,
but I'm used to having a partner.
1114
00:54:05,367 --> 00:54:07,586
Certainly doesn't seem
to matter to that fella.
1115
00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:09,747
Maybe I'll give it a shot.
Maybe not.
1116
00:54:09,913 --> 00:54:12,666
Well, if they play something different.

Oh, shit, maybe now.
1117
00:54:12,833 --> 00:54:15,052
- Yeah!
- Ha-ha-ha!
1118
00:54:15,210 --> 00:54:16,678
(ARCHIE LAUGHING)
1119
00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:18,631
SAM:
Go, Archie!
1120
00:54:22,468 --> 00:54:24,095
WOMAN:
Hey.
1121
00:54:25,846 --> 00:54:27,393
SAM:
Whoo!
1122
00:54:29,892 --> 00:54:31,018
Hello.
1123
00:54:31,185 --> 00:54:32,232
- Hi.
- Hi.
1124
00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:33,771
Can I ask you a question?
1125
00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:36,690
- Yes.
- Do you guys have drugs?
1126
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:39,947
Does Lipitor count?
1127
00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,362
So...
1128
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:44,665
...what are you guys doing here?
1129
00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:47,326
- It's my bachelor party.
- Oh.
1130
00:54:47,493 --> 00:54:50,588
I just think it's so cute
1131
00:54:50,746 --> 00:54:54,000
when older people
get married.
1132
00:54:54,166 --> 00:54:58,012
- It's never too late, right?
- Right, right.
1133
00:54:58,170 --> 00:55:00,673
Actually, uh,
she's not older.
1134
00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:03,809
She's more your age.
1135
00:55:04,468 --> 00:55:07,472
You must be really rich.
1136
00:55:10,140 --> 00:55:13,110
You're kind of blowing
my mind right now.
1137
00:55:13,268 --> 00:55:15,987
- Oh?
- Yeah, it's just-- It's like...
1138
00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:18,399
- You're so cute.
- I...
1139
00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:20,067
It's freaking me out.
1140
00:55:20,234 --> 00:55:21,611
As I look at you,
1141
00:55:21,777 --> 00:55:23,654
- Yeah?
- all I can think about
1142
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:27,166
is how much you look
like my grandpa Lou.
1143
00:55:27,950 --> 00:55:31,079
He's in a nursing home
outside Fort Lauderdale.
1144
00:55:31,245 --> 00:55:32,542
Uh, who isn't?
1145
00:55:33,539 --> 00:55:36,884
- Hey, angel, come on, get out here- Hey. Uh, excuse me,
1146
00:55:37,042 --> 00:55:39,090
I'm talking to another person.
1147
00:55:39,253 --> 00:55:41,972
Yeah, but you should be talking to me.
I'm more interesting. Come on.
1148
00:55:42,130 --> 00:55:43,382
Go away, seriously.
1149
00:55:43,549 --> 00:55:46,553
You know, I just don't get it, all right?
It's not like you're married yet.
1150
00:55:46,718 --> 00:55:49,141
Just spread it around a little

before it gets dusty, you know?
1151
00:55:49,304 --> 00:55:52,558
Ew. Look you little jerk-off,
I don't wanna dance with you.
1152
00:55:52,724 --> 00:55:54,146
I don't wanna dance with you either.
1153
00:55:54,309 --> 00:55:56,107
- Everything all right here?
- Fanny Pack.
1154
00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:57,988
You-- You guys
are everywhere.
1155
00:55:58,146 --> 00:55:59,864
What's your deal?
Can I see that real quick?
1156
00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:01,616
Buddy, maybe you had
too much to drink.
1157
00:56:01,775 --> 00:56:03,869
Hey, pal, why don't you
mind your business?
1158
00:56:04,027 --> 00:56:05,620
You don't wanna make
a fool of yourself.
1159
00:56:05,779 --> 00:56:08,578
You know what? If I want your opinion,
I'll just beat it out of you.
1160
00:56:08,740 --> 00:56:12,085
- Hey, hey, hey, what's the problem?
- Hey, hey, hey! What's going on?
1161
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:13,336
ARCHIE:
Sam?
1162
00:56:13,495 --> 00:56:17,045
Oh. Now I'm gonna enjoy this one,
asshole. You know that?
1163
00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:18,375
(ALL GASPING)
1164
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:25,091
No one calls us names except us.
You understand?
1165
00:56:25,257 --> 00:56:26,634
Paddy.
1166
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,017
Just get him out of here.
1167
00:56:28,176 --> 00:56:29,769
- Take him out the side.
- We're going.
1168
00:56:29,928 --> 00:56:32,181
- Your son's been calling.
- Huh?
1169
00:56:32,347 --> 00:56:33,644
Good shot, Paddy.
1170
00:56:34,099 --> 00:56:37,228
Damn, fellas, that Paddy's a beast.
Heh.
1171
00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:39,192
There you are.
1172
00:56:42,190 --> 00:56:43,692
- Lonnie.
- Lonnie.
1173
00:56:43,859 --> 00:56:45,987
BILLY: I said that, man.
- No, you never did say that.
1174
00:56:46,153 --> 00:56:48,781
- You said Louie or some shit like that.
- All right, I said Larry.
1175
00:56:48,947 --> 00:56:50,699
- I said...
- Where you been, man?
1176
00:56:53,869 --> 00:56:55,416
(SNORING)
1177
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:05,343
Boom.
1178
00:57:06,173 --> 00:57:08,016
Boom, boom.
1179
00:57:19,061 --> 00:57:20,984
(CHATTERING)
1180
00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:25,905
PADDY:
Thank you.
1181
00:57:28,987 --> 00:57:30,034
MAN:
Twenty-two up!
1182
00:57:30,197 --> 00:57:31,744
DIANA (SINGING):
I need a pinch of sugar
1183
00:57:31,907 --> 00:57:33,033
An ounce of ooh-la-la
1184
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:37,876
A sweet temptation
In my blue boudoir
1185
00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:40,132
If you're feeling hungry
1186
00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:42,543
I'll let you lick the spoon
1187
00:57:42,709 --> 00:57:44,711
Come on over, baby
1188
00:57:44,878 --> 00:57:47,347
Can I borrow a cup of trouble
1189
00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:48,849
From you?
1190
00:57:49,007 --> 00:57:51,055
(PIANO PLAYING JAZZY TUNE)
1191
00:57:51,510 --> 00:57:53,763
MAN 1: I'm just gonna get
some chairs, I'll be right back.
1192
00:57:53,929 --> 00:57:55,727
MAN 2:
Okay, I'll wait for you.
1193
00:57:58,767 --> 00:58:00,861
I used to be fun.
1194
00:58:01,228 --> 00:58:05,608
She chose me, I mean, well,
over Mr. Ladies' Man, Billy Gherson.
1195
00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:07,868
That's how fun I was.
1196
00:58:08,026 --> 00:58:12,953
Ahem. We both wanted her,
but she picked me.
1197
00:58:13,115 --> 00:58:14,708
Picked me.
1198
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:19,045
And, uh, you know, once I-I made her laugh so hard,
1199
00:58:19,204 --> 00:58:21,582
she peed her pants.
1200
00:58:22,582 --> 00:58:24,050
Yeah.
1201
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:26,883
(DIANA CHUCKLES)
1202
00:58:27,045 --> 00:58:29,969
I used to be able to make
women laugh like that.
1203
00:58:30,632 --> 00:58:33,135
Come on.
You made me laugh.
1204
00:58:33,301 --> 00:58:34,974
Yeah, but I didn't make you
pee your pants.
1205
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:36,855
Well, give it time.
1206
00:58:39,558 --> 00:58:43,062
Hey, I didn't know her,
obviously,
1207
00:58:43,228 --> 00:58:44,650

but she sounds like
the kind of woman
1208
00:58:44,813 --> 00:58:48,238
that wouldn't want you spending
all your time being sad.
1209
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,529
- No, she wouldn't.
- So cut it out.
1210
00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:53,872
It's enough already.
1211
00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:57,117
- Just cut it out?
- Yeah.
1212
00:58:57,284 --> 00:58:58,877
Really.
1213
00:58:59,327 --> 00:59:01,250
- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
1214
00:59:01,413 --> 00:59:04,257
If I threw a party,
would you be able to come?
1215
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:06,923
I might.
1216
00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:10,343
Might's good enough.
1217
00:59:10,589 --> 00:59:12,091
(GROANING)
1218
00:59:12,257 --> 00:59:15,852
I haven't been this hungover
in 30 years.
1219
00:59:16,011 --> 00:59:17,934
Shh-shh-shh.
1220
00:59:19,222 --> 00:59:22,192
- Everything's spinning.
- I know.
1221
00:59:23,935 --> 00:59:24,982
(SAM GROANS)
1222
00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:27,193
ARCHIE: Oh, no, don't-SAM: Oh, hi.
1223
00:59:30,108 --> 00:59:31,735
BILLY:
Guess I'll see you in the morning.
1224
00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:34,906

Yeah, and it'll be
great to see you.
1225
00:59:35,072 --> 00:59:38,042
That's a good idea.
I mean, I got all my best friends here.
1226
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,918
You should have yours here
with you too.
1227
00:59:41,161 --> 00:59:43,414
Uh. hey, honey?
1228
00:59:44,081 --> 00:59:47,210
Let me call you back later, okay?
Yeah.
1229
00:59:50,545 --> 00:59:52,513
- Hey.
- Hey.
1230
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:56,096
Excuse me, young lady?
1231
00:59:56,259 --> 00:59:58,762
Bloody Mary, please.
Extra bloody.
1232
01:00:01,723 --> 01:00:05,227
Sophie wouldn't want me hanging
around the apartment in my bathrobe.
1233
01:00:05,393 --> 01:00:06,861
- No, she wou-- Shut up.
1234
01:00:07,521 --> 01:00:10,900
So I'm not gonna do that anymore,
and I'm having a Bloody Mary.
1235
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:14,946
I used to like Bloody Marys.
Maybe I'll like them again.
1236
01:00:17,447 --> 01:00:19,541
I'm gonna ask you something.
1237
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:27,833
Do you love this Lisa girl
the way I loved Sophie?
1238
01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:33,923
She's a wonderful person,
really great human being.
1239
01:00:34,089 --> 01:00:37,013
Well, that's great. I'll vote for her
when she runs for Congress.
1240
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:39,887
Billy, you're gonna

be 70 years old.
1241
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:41,851
Tomorrow you're marrying
a 31-year-old woman
1242
01:00:42,013 --> 01:00:43,560
who you proposed to at a funeral.
1243
01:00:44,057 --> 01:00:45,855
Now, I don't give
a flying crap about you,
1244
01:00:46,017 --> 01:00:49,066
but if I did, I gotta tell you,
I see a few red flags.
1245
01:00:49,771 --> 01:00:52,866
Tomorrow I'm gonna ask you again if
you love her. I expect a better answer.
1246
01:00:54,192 --> 01:00:55,944
SAM: He left his room.
ARCHIE: Ha, ha.
1247
01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:58,121
(ALL LAUGH)
1248
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:00,032
PADDY: Hey.
- Hey.
1249
01:01:00,949 --> 01:01:02,371
SAM:
The old gang.
1250
01:01:02,534 --> 01:01:03,877
We're throwing a party tonight.
1251
01:01:04,035 --> 01:01:06,333
SAM:
Yeah, that's the spirit. Yeah, a party.
1252
01:01:06,496 --> 01:01:08,089
- Happy day!
- Excuse me.
1253
01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:11,836
- Oh, crap.
- I, um...
1254
01:01:12,794 --> 01:01:16,594
I just wanted to, uh, apologize
for, uh-- For last night.
1255
01:01:16,756 --> 01:01:19,009
Uh, I was way out
of line, and, um,
1256
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:24,139
you know, I had too much to drink,
and I am just really, really sorry.
1257
01:01:24,306 --> 01:01:26,604
I throw myself at your mercy.
1258
01:01:26,766 --> 01:01:29,986
LONNIE: I was just downloading Dean
on who you guys were.
1259
01:01:30,145 --> 01:01:34,491
He didn't know that you were
the heads of four very influential
1260
01:01:34,649 --> 01:01:36,242
East Coast families.
1261
01:01:36,401 --> 01:01:38,824
DEAN:
Yeah, I had-- I had no idea.
1262
01:01:38,987 --> 01:01:40,739

Well, I wouldn't expect
a dickhead like you
1263
01:01:40,906 --> 01:01:43,500
to know about
legends like us.
1264
01:01:43,658 --> 01:01:45,706
- I-- I'm a dickhead.
- Knuckles.
1265
01:01:47,996 --> 01:01:49,088
Knuckles.
1266
01:01:50,540 --> 01:01:53,794
Knuckles, get the guy
out of my sight.
1267
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:58,177
Yeah. You know, you're a dumb
little shit, you know that?
1268
01:01:58,340 --> 01:02:01,059
- Oh, no, please.
- You don't know who these guys are?
1269
01:02:01,218 --> 01:02:04,472
Archie Aces,
Billy Bones,
1270
01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:06,231
- Sammy the...
- The accountant.
1271
01:02:06,389 --> 01:02:08,767
- Yeah, the accountant.
- Ugh.
1272
01:02:08,934 --> 01:02:11,904
Sammy the Stove, they call me.
I cook the books.
1273
01:02:12,062 --> 01:02:14,440
I'm just-- I'm sorry.
1274
01:02:14,606 --> 01:02:16,028
What do we care
about your sorrys?
1275
01:02:16,191 --> 01:02:18,990
No, I know, I know, I know.
I don't give a damn about my sorrys.
1276
01:02:19,152 --> 01:02:20,529
Just please...
1277
01:02:20,695 --> 01:02:23,039
Shut up, shut up.
Just go get us some ice water.
1278
01:02:23,198 --> 01:02:25,792
When that's done, you come back,

you do some other things for us.
1279
01:02:25,951 --> 01:02:28,579
Maybe Knuckles here
will let you wash his balls.
1280
01:02:31,873 --> 01:02:33,045
Sorry, that was weird.
1281
01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,553
- Four ice waters?
- Go.
1282
01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:41,842
PADDY: What was that all about?
- I-- You were great.
1283
01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,806
I-- Maybe I overdid it.
1284
01:02:44,010 --> 01:02:45,603
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1285
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:49,141
I, uh,
obviously misread you guys.
1286
01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:50,900
You guys sold the shit out of that.
1287
01:02:51,059 --> 01:02:52,527
So, what do you guys want me to do?
1288
01:02:52,686 --> 01:02:55,530
Nothing. No, today,
you take the afternoon off,
1289
01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:57,566
have another drink, go to the spa.
1290
01:02:57,732 --> 01:03:00,155
Save your energy. It's gonna
be a big night for you tonight.
1291
01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:01,535
You got some thinking to do.
1292
01:03:02,112 --> 01:03:03,989
And we got some recruiting to do.
1293
01:03:04,155 --> 01:03:06,578
Yeah. We need to recruit
some talent, gentlemen.
1294
01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:09,915
Yeah, I want the A-list.
B-- The double-D list.
1295
01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:11,500
That is the A-list, actually.
1296
01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:19,300
(PADDY CLEARS THROAT)
1297
01:03:20,714 --> 01:03:24,594
I like this one, although,
is she throwing up or crying?
1298
01:03:24,759 --> 01:03:26,136
LONNIE:
Definitely throwing up.
1299
01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:30,774
By 6.
1300
01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:33,735
By 6?
1301
01:04:09,721 --> 01:04:10,847
My turn.
1302
01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:15,818
(INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE)
1303
01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:20,778
Yeah, now we're talking.
1304
01:04:32,452 --> 01:04:33,999
Yeah.
1305
01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:39,335
- These two, these two.
SAM: Yeah, that-- Yeah.
1306
01:04:39,501 --> 01:04:41,720
There you go.
Oh, here, here!
1307
01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:43,300
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
1308
01:04:44,381 --> 01:04:45,633
Hi. Oh, thanks.
1309
01:04:47,926 --> 01:04:49,143
Girls, you remember Sam, right?
1310
01:04:49,302 --> 01:04:51,020
It's really gonna be great.
Party tonight.
1311
01:04:51,179 --> 01:04:52,852
Yeah, thanks. Oh, thanks.
1312
01:04:53,014 --> 01:04:55,608
MINISTER: If we were
able to, I would release...
1313
01:04:58,645 --> 01:05:00,522
I told you to put those

in one and two.
1314
01:05:00,688 --> 01:05:02,361
Okay. Oh, no.
1315
01:05:02,524 --> 01:05:04,151
- Take those back. I'm sorry.
- Where to?
1316
01:05:06,569 --> 01:05:08,788
Here we go. Let's do it.
Wait, are you--?
1317
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:29,643
DIANA (SINGING):
So find yourself somebody
1318
01:05:29,801 --> 01:05:34,272
You gotta find yourself somebody
1319
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:41,155
You need to find yourself somebody
1320
01:05:42,522 --> 01:05:47,574
To love
1321
01:05:50,321 --> 01:05:53,746
Wow. You guys just cannot
stay away from me.
1322
01:05:53,908 --> 01:05:55,330
You wanna go someplace?
1323
01:05:55,493 --> 01:05:57,746
Um, let me just check
with the crowd.
1324
01:05:59,581 --> 01:06:00,753
Okay.
1325
01:06:02,125 --> 01:06:05,095
BILLY:
When you sing, I feel like a teenager.
1326
01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:07,802
DIANA: And isn't that
your whole goal in life?
1327
01:06:07,964 --> 01:06:09,261
- Ha, ha.
- So sad.
1328
01:06:09,424 --> 01:06:10,971
You're right.
1329
01:06:12,719 --> 01:06:14,471
Can I ask you a personal question?
1330
01:06:14,929 --> 01:06:16,476
Ay, ay.
1331
01:06:16,639 --> 01:06:18,937
Okay, one personal question.
1332
01:06:20,393 --> 01:06:22,896
Why haven't you ever
gotten married until now?
1333
01:06:23,062 --> 01:06:24,484
Well, Why should I?
1334
01:06:24,647 --> 01:06:26,991
I get to do everything I want to do
whenever I want to.
1335
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:28,993
I mean, what's wrong with that?
1336
01:06:29,152 --> 01:06:30,950
There's no mention of love?
1337
01:06:31,154 --> 01:06:33,907
No, no, no, I'm-I'm not the falling-in-love type.
1338
01:06:34,866 --> 01:06:36,960
Okay.
1339
01:06:37,243 --> 01:06:40,793
Truth is, there was only one girl
in my entire life
1340
01:06:40,955 --> 01:06:43,208
that I fell in love with.
1341
01:06:43,374 --> 01:06:44,876
I let her get away.
1342
01:06:45,043 --> 01:06:46,886
Who was that?
1343
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:52,600
You shouldn't have used up
your one personal question.
1344
01:06:52,759 --> 01:06:56,559
- Oh, you are holding on so tight.
- Ha, ha.
1345
01:06:56,721 --> 01:07:00,396
Oh, Mr. Big-Shot,
I know where I'm taking you.
1346
01:07:08,608 --> 01:07:11,532
MAN: Take a seat, please.
- You have got to be kidding.
1347
01:07:11,694 --> 01:07:13,867
What's the matter, princess?
Scared of heights?
1348
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,998
Yes, the princess
is scared of heights.
1349
01:07:16,157 --> 01:07:18,785
Well, I won't think less of you
if you throw up or cry.
1350
01:07:18,952 --> 01:07:21,671
Actually, I might if you cry.
Please don't cry.
1351
01:07:21,829 --> 01:07:24,503
- I won't cry.
- Billy,
1352
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:27,340
I think I have to ask you
one more personal question.
1353
01:07:27,502 --> 01:07:28,503

Whoa!
1354
01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:32,055
What?
1355
01:07:33,424 --> 01:07:35,426
You're getting married tomorrow.
1356
01:07:35,593 --> 01:07:37,345
What are you doing here with me?
1357
01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:39,522
Well, you know
I'm getting married tomorrow.
1358
01:07:39,681 --> 01:07:42,730
- What are you doing here with me?
- Oh, see, I do have an answer.
1359
01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:45,816

I...like you.
1360
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:49,324
I liked you from the moment
that I saw you.
1361
01:07:49,482 --> 01:07:51,530
None of which matters
if you love Lisa.
1362
01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:52,740
Do you?
1363
01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:55,579
(WHIRRING)
1364
01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:58,366
What's--? No, no. No, no.
Oh, no, no. No!
1365
01:07:58,533 --> 01:08:02,288
No! No! No!
1366
01:08:02,453 --> 01:08:04,171
(SCREAMING)
1367
01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:10,344
(ALL LAUGH)
1368
01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:12,426
I knew you would like it.
1369
01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:14,762
Oh, yeah, no, I love it, I love it!
It's great.
1370
01:08:14,924 --> 01:08:17,768
Oh, good, because it goes
up and down three more times.
1371
01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:21,101
Oh, it-- it's-- What? Aah!
1372
01:08:21,306 --> 01:08:23,525
For a minute there, I thought
you were trying to kill me.
1373
01:08:23,683 --> 01:08:25,560
Well, you wouldn't answer
my personal questions,
1374
01:08:25,727 --> 01:08:29,607
so I thought I needed to scare
the answers out of you.
1375
01:08:31,774 --> 01:08:35,153
All right, well, Paddy and I, right?
When we were kids,
1376
01:08:35,945 --> 01:08:38,539
we were in love
with the same girl.
1377
01:08:39,032 --> 01:08:40,079
Sophie.
1378
01:08:41,868 --> 01:08:43,916
She's the one who got away?
1379
01:08:44,495 --> 01:08:45,621
Yeah.
1380
01:08:47,540 --> 01:08:49,383
First, you know,
it was just two best friends
1381
01:08:49,542 --> 01:08:51,886
competing for the same girl,
1382
01:08:52,378 --> 01:08:56,053
but as we got older, it got

a little more complicated.
1383
01:08:56,215 --> 01:08:59,264
One day, Paddy told Sophie
1384
01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:03,102
that she had to make a choice
between the two of us.
1385
01:09:03,806 --> 01:09:07,777
That night,
Sophie came to my house.
1386
01:09:08,478 --> 01:09:10,947
You know, she was confused.
She was young.
1387
01:09:11,105 --> 01:09:13,699
So she picked you.
1388
01:09:13,858 --> 01:09:15,201
Yeah.
1389
01:09:15,360 --> 01:09:18,239
Yeah, she came and
saw me first.
1390
01:09:19,864 --> 01:09:21,787
But everybody knew
she belonged with Paddy.
1391
01:09:21,949 --> 01:09:24,498
Everybody.
So I told her.
1392
01:09:25,203 --> 01:09:29,379
And then she went with Paddy.
1393
01:09:30,708 --> 01:09:32,881
Does Paddy know?
1394
01:09:35,838 --> 01:09:38,557
Oh, complicated.
1395
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:40,684
A little bit.
1396
01:09:45,473 --> 01:09:49,728
You know, the boys are throwing
a party for me tonight.
1397
01:09:51,020 --> 01:09:52,988
Yeah, I heard.
1398
01:09:53,147 --> 01:09:57,152
Well, I would really love it
if you'd stop by.
1399
01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:04,329
Complicated.
1400
01:10:05,743 --> 01:10:07,290
A little bit.
1401
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,381
There they are.
These are my...
1402
01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:15,716
- Those are the kids.
- Uh-huh?
1403
01:10:15,878 --> 01:10:18,131
And when they were younger.
And here are the grandkids.
1404
01:10:18,339 --> 01:10:20,182
PADDY:
Your son's son, and who's...?
1405
01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:22,218

SAM: That-ARCHIE: Oh, shame on you.
1406
01:10:22,385 --> 01:10:23,728
You don't even know
who they are.
1407
01:10:23,886 --> 01:10:25,763
- Jason and, uh, Edith.
- Those are-J?
1408
01:10:25,930 --> 01:10:28,433
- Those are grandchildren? Oh.
- Yes, yeah.
1409
01:10:28,599 --> 01:10:30,897
The one with the bottle there,
she has a drinking problem.
1410
01:10:31,060 --> 01:10:32,312
(ALL CHUCKLE)
1411
01:10:32,478 --> 01:10:34,230
SAM: That's a binky.
It looks like a goatee.
1412
01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:35,444
ARCHIE:
It does.
1413
01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:36,698
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1414
01:10:36,858 --> 01:10:38,485
- I got it.
- Our first guests.
1415
01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:42,121
Gentlemen, you have
definitely outdone yourselves.
1416
01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:45,784
Yeah, I got a little something, uh,
for you, my best men.
1417
01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:47,497
- Paddy.
ARCHIE: Aw, you shouldn't have.
1418
01:10:48,786 --> 01:10:51,505
- Sam.
- Oh, you really shouldn't have.
1419
01:10:51,664 --> 01:10:53,132
Archie.
1420
01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:54,918
ARCHIE:
You should have.
1421
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:56,176
(ALL LAUGHING)
1422
01:10:57,628 --> 01:10:59,596
You asshole.
1423
01:11:01,674 --> 01:11:04,052
I can't believe this is your
last night as a bachelor, Billy.
1424
01:11:04,218 --> 01:11:06,641
You better brace yourself
for tomorrow.
1425
01:11:06,804 --> 01:11:09,227
But tonight, we're gonna party
like it's 1959.
1426
01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:11,313
- Yes!
LONNIE: Yo, fellas?
1427
01:11:11,851 --> 01:11:14,900
I'm Stacy.
Which one of you is Sam Harris?
1428
01:11:17,690 --> 01:11:20,534
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(LAUGHING AND CHEERING)
1429
01:11:27,784 --> 01:11:29,878
LONNIE:
Hey! Come on in, guys.
1430
01:11:30,036 --> 01:11:31,288
Thank you.
1431
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,548
(INHALES)
1432
01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:49,305
(SNIFFS)
1433
01:11:49,806 --> 01:11:52,400
(CHATTERING AND LAUGHING)
1434
01:11:53,184 --> 01:11:54,231
Excuse me.
1435
01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:57,776
Sam!
1436
01:11:58,689 --> 01:12:01,033
- Sam!
- He doesn't know you.
1437
01:12:01,192 --> 01:12:03,320
- Do I know you?
- Yes! Come on, you don't recognize
1438
01:12:03,486 --> 01:12:06,740
- the Material Girl? Madonna?
- Ma-- Maurice!
1439
01:12:06,906 --> 01:12:08,874
- Yes.
- You look different.
1440
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:10,410
- Of course, of course.
- I'm sorry!
1441
01:12:10,576 --> 01:12:13,955
- Sam, Sam, this is my wife Susan.
- Of course, you're Susan!
1442
01:12:14,121 --> 01:12:16,670
I hope you don't take this
the wrong way, but
1443
01:12:16,833 --> 01:12:19,677
you seem like such
a conventional married couple.
1444
01:12:19,836 --> 01:12:21,429
- Ha, ha.
- Yeah, most people think that.
1445
01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:23,635
But listen,
don't get me wrong,
1446
01:12:23,798 --> 01:12:26,642
everyone else I brought
is just a complete freak!
1447
01:12:26,801 --> 01:12:28,223
(ALL CHEERING)
1448
01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:30,138
- Have fun dancing.
- All right.
1449
01:12:30,304 --> 01:12:31,772

Thanks for coming.
1450
01:12:31,973 --> 01:12:33,020
- Mwah.
- Mwah. Yeah.
1451
01:12:33,182 --> 01:12:36,527
Hey! Hey! You've got-- That's a guy.
1452
01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:38,858
Oh, there's a snake.
It's a snake.
1453
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:53,294
Come on.
I know you wanna dance.
1454
01:12:53,452 --> 01:12:55,796
Yes, yes, but-- But, see, I don't--
1455
01:12:55,955 --> 01:12:57,832
I don't know this.
1456
01:12:57,999 --> 01:12:59,376
Well, show me what you know.
1457
01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:01,840
Well, I know some things.
1458
01:13:06,632 --> 01:13:10,512
MAN: Everybody back up!
Back up! Give them some room!
1459
01:13:12,847 --> 01:13:14,849
(ALL CHEERING)
1460
01:13:34,785 --> 01:13:36,458
(ARCHIE CHUCKLING)
1461
01:13:38,456 --> 01:13:39,799

Child, phew!
1462
01:13:39,957 --> 01:13:41,300
That was...
1463
01:13:42,376 --> 01:13:43,673
May I have this dance?
1464
01:13:44,879 --> 01:13:45,971
I got you, babe.
1465
01:13:46,172 --> 01:13:47,924
Let it go, Archie!
1466
01:14:05,650 --> 01:14:06,993
Hey, Lonnie!
1467
01:14:07,985 --> 01:14:09,658
We got a situation.
Um...
1468
01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:11,618
- Listen. No, no, wait.
- No, I got it. Relax.
1469
01:14:11,781 --> 01:14:13,783
- Let me explain to-- Relax, relax.
1470
01:14:14,825 --> 01:14:16,202
- Lonnie.
- Fifty.
1471
01:14:16,661 --> 01:14:17,708
I thought you canceled.
1472
01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:20,047
Shit changed, man.
I'm in the next room.
1473
01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:21,924
- That's what's up?
- Think you can get them
1474
01:14:22,083 --> 01:14:24,461
- to turn the music down?
- Heh, oh, no, man.
1475
01:14:24,627 --> 01:14:26,971
Um, actually, these dudes
are kind of just getting started.
1476
01:14:27,129 --> 01:14:29,882
- Think I could come in for a bit?
- No, it's a private party.
1477
01:14:30,049 --> 01:14:31,596
- Come on-- Needy. Watch him.
1478
01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:33,181

- All right.
CURTIS: Please, man!
1479
01:14:40,893 --> 01:14:42,645
(CHEERING)
1480
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,947
(LAUGHING)
1481
01:14:48,943 --> 01:14:51,241
It's the bride-to-be!
1482
01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:53,664
Oh, you're gonna
need this tomorrow.
1483
01:14:53,823 --> 01:14:55,166
There you go.
1484
01:14:55,866 --> 01:14:56,913

Maid of honor!
1485
01:14:57,076 --> 01:15:00,250
- Grandpa Lou!
- Hey!
1486
01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:04,755
Thank you so much
for standing up for us at the club.
1487
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:07,636
That was so awesome of you.
1488
01:15:07,795 --> 01:15:11,766
When you're from Brooklyn, uh, not
getting involved isn't an option.
1489
01:15:11,924 --> 01:15:14,393
I am so tired of
these young guys.
1490
01:15:14,552 --> 01:15:17,180
They are so immature.
1491
01:15:19,306 --> 01:15:24,153
Maybe I should spend some time
with a man of experience.
1492
01:15:24,311 --> 01:15:25,779
(BOTTLE SHATTERS)
1493
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:27,694
Let me show you around.
1494
01:15:28,357 --> 01:15:31,201
Here, let me.
There you are.
1495
01:15:31,902 --> 01:15:33,028
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
1496
01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:43,081
Pretty girl.
1497
01:15:43,914 --> 01:15:45,757
Aces, I was just cleaning up
over here.
1498
01:15:45,916 --> 01:15:47,964
Ah, put that stuff down.
1499
01:15:48,127 --> 01:15:50,346
- Go have some fun, you've earned it.
- Really?
1500
01:15:50,504 --> 01:15:51,630
- Really.
- Ah.
1501
01:15:51,797 --> 01:15:53,424
Aces, thank you so much.
1502
01:15:53,591 --> 01:15:54,888
Appreciate it.
1503
01:15:55,051 --> 01:15:56,428
Oh, uh.
1504
01:15:56,594 --> 01:15:58,767
- Before you go, Dean...
- Uh-huh?
1505
01:15:58,929 --> 01:16:01,182
ARCHIE: Ask the girl to
dance, don't tell her.
1506
01:16:01,348 --> 01:16:04,648
Okay? Tell her
how beautiful she is,
1507
01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:06,608

not how sexy
she looks to you.
1508
01:16:07,104 --> 01:16:10,028
Tell her that from the time
she walked in here,
1509
01:16:10,191 --> 01:16:12,444
you have not been able
to take your eyes off of her.
1510
01:16:13,527 --> 01:16:15,621
- That's kind of true.
- Okay, then go for it.
1511
01:16:24,163 --> 01:16:25,335
Definitely.
1512
01:16:29,376 --> 01:16:30,923
I'll be damned.
1513
01:16:32,171 --> 01:16:34,014
(CELL PHONE BEEPING)
1514
01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:39,803
The heck?
1515
01:16:40,179 --> 01:16:42,648
Hey, Pop! Pop!
1516
01:16:43,641 --> 01:16:45,814
- Pop.
- Ezra.
1517
01:16:45,976 --> 01:16:48,399
- What are you doing here?
- What the hell are you doing here?
1518
01:16:48,562 --> 01:16:50,781
- I asked you first.
- We were terrified.
1519
01:16:50,940 --> 01:16:52,942
You said you were going
on a church retreat.
1520
01:16:53,109 --> 01:16:55,453
We called the church.
Do you know how scared we were?
1521
01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:58,490
All right, I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't want to worry you about it.
1522
01:16:58,656 --> 01:17:01,455
Well, we were worried.
You can't do this kind of stuff.
1523
01:17:01,617 --> 01:17:02,994
You're not a kid anymore.
1524
01:17:04,411 --> 01:17:06,413
You know, you're right.
1525
01:17:06,580 --> 01:17:07,877
I am not a kid.
1526
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:10,259
I'm a grown man,
who just happened to go
1527
01:17:10,417 --> 01:17:12,840
to one of his best friend's
bachelor parties.
1528
01:17:13,003 --> 01:17:16,007
As a matter of fact, I shouldn't have
had to lie about it in the first place.
1529
01:17:16,173 --> 01:17:18,676
- You could've had another episode.
- Let's call it what it is.
1530
01:17:18,843 --> 01:17:20,891
It's a stroke,
a mild stroke.
1531
01:17:21,053 --> 01:17:23,977
And it won't recur as long as
I take the damn pills.
1532
01:17:24,140 --> 01:17:26,393
If it does, I'll just die,
then, won't I?
1533
01:17:26,559 --> 01:17:28,311
Until then, Ezra--
1534
01:17:28,477 --> 01:17:30,150
Look at me when
I'm talking to you.
1535
01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:33,065
Until then,
I am not a feeble old man.
1536
01:17:33,232 --> 01:17:35,280
I've got a lot of
life left in me,
1537
01:17:35,442 --> 01:17:38,116
and I'm gonna live it doing
the things that I like to do.
1538
01:17:38,279 --> 01:17:41,203
One of them is dancing,
and the other one is having a drink.
1539
01:17:41,365 --> 01:17:45,336
I've danced.
Now if you'd care to join me,
1540
01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:47,542

I'd love to have a
drink with my son.
1541
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,791
Heh, all right.
1542
01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:51,004
- Okay?
- Yeah.
1543
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:52,760
Come on.
1544
01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:55,755
It's, uh-- It's...
1545
01:17:55,921 --> 01:17:57,514
Wait a minute.
1546
01:18:02,595 --> 01:18:05,018

Uh, where was I? Ah. Yes.
1547
01:18:05,181 --> 01:18:06,558
- Which way?
- This way.
1548
01:18:07,308 --> 01:18:09,026
This is, uh-This is where it all happens.
1549
01:18:09,185 --> 01:18:12,234
This was originally supposed to
be for a famous rock star.
1550
01:18:12,396 --> 01:18:13,773
- Really?
- Uh-- Uh, yeah.
1551
01:18:13,939 --> 01:18:15,441
Fifty-Cent Piece.
And, uh,
1552
01:18:15,608 --> 01:18:18,361
he was going to, uh,
have a big deal here
1553
01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:22,077
with, uh, his groupies
and wild parties,
1554
01:18:22,239 --> 01:18:24,162
and the bed goes
around, and it's...
1555
01:18:24,325 --> 01:18:25,451
Now it's all going to waste.
1556
01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:28,955
It doesn't have to.
1557
01:18:30,164 --> 01:18:32,007

You don't think?
1558
01:18:33,959 --> 01:18:35,677
- Good, good.
- Heh.
1559
01:18:35,836 --> 01:18:37,509
(CHUCKLES)
1560
01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:43,682
You just wait for me one second.
I'm just gonna take a pill
1561
01:18:43,844 --> 01:18:45,471
in the other room.
1562
01:18:56,565 --> 01:18:57,737
Oh.
1563
01:19:02,363 --> 01:19:03,410

I don't need a pill.
1564
01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:08,539
You...
1565
01:19:09,119 --> 01:19:10,496
Uh...
1566
01:19:11,872 --> 01:19:13,215
Oh.
1567
01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:19,047
I'm so glad I met you.
1568
01:19:19,213 --> 01:19:22,513
Did I happen to mention
that I was married?
1569
01:19:22,675 --> 01:19:25,019
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
1570
01:19:25,177 --> 01:19:27,430
That's kind of hot.
1571
01:19:27,596 --> 01:19:28,643
SAM:
Oh.
1572
01:19:28,806 --> 01:19:31,434
- Heh.
- It is kind of hot, isn't it?
1573
01:19:32,851 --> 01:19:34,194
Yeah.
1574
01:19:35,187 --> 01:19:37,155
That's better. Hmm.
1575
01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:39,195

Yeah.
1576
01:19:43,654 --> 01:19:44,826
Mm.
1577
01:19:50,244 --> 01:19:51,336
Mm.
1578
01:19:59,044 --> 01:20:01,012
The thing is...
1579
01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:05,555
- You don't want to have sex with me?
- Oh, oh, no, no, no, I do, I do.
1580
01:20:05,718 --> 01:20:09,063
Oh, God, I want to have
sex with you. A lot of it.
1581
01:20:09,221 --> 01:20:11,098

It would be...
1582
01:20:11,265 --> 01:20:13,393
Oh, spectacular.
1583
01:20:13,559 --> 01:20:17,154
It would be the most spectacular thing
that's happened to me in 25 years.
1584
01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:18,735
Uh...
1585
01:20:18,897 --> 01:20:21,025
Just-- it-- But...
1586
01:20:21,692 --> 01:20:23,660
The thing is...
1587
01:20:23,819 --> 01:20:25,412
Um...
1588
01:20:26,322 --> 01:20:27,869
(SIGHS)
1589
01:20:28,032 --> 01:20:30,080
It's crazy,
1590
01:20:30,242 --> 01:20:34,748
but, uh, whenever something
spectacular happens to me,
1591
01:20:34,913 --> 01:20:37,666
first thing I want to do
is tell my wife about it,
1592
01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:39,631
and, uh,
1593
01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:45,266
after 40 years of marriage, uh,

if I can't tell her about
1594
01:20:45,424 --> 01:20:48,678
something wonderful
that happened to me,
1595
01:20:49,053 --> 01:20:52,523
it sort of stops being wonderful.
1596
01:20:55,768 --> 01:20:57,270
I understand.
1597
01:20:57,978 --> 01:21:00,447
- It-- It has something to do with...
- I mean, I get it, okay?
1598
01:21:00,606 --> 01:21:03,325
- She has a way of putting things.
- Will you just stop talking? Heh.
1599
01:21:03,484 --> 01:21:05,862
- What?
- Stop.
1600
01:21:07,946 --> 01:21:12,042
I really hope that I get to marry
a guy like you one day.
1601
01:21:13,702 --> 01:21:16,296
Heh.
I'm gonna get dressed.
1602
01:21:17,915 --> 01:21:20,009
(DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES)
1603
01:21:20,167 --> 01:21:23,296
You know, uh, a blowjob
wouldn't be out of the question.
1604
01:21:23,462 --> 01:21:24,805
1605
01:21:24,963 --> 01:21:26,840
(CHATTERING AND CHEERING)
1606
01:21:39,770 --> 01:21:41,989
What a party, man, huh?
1607
01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:43,319
Thank you, Paddy.
1608
01:21:43,482 --> 01:21:46,076
Just a little thing the guys and I threw,
you know.
1609
01:21:55,994 --> 01:21:57,371
What?
1610
01:21:57,538 --> 01:21:59,961
What do you keep looking
at the front door for?
1611
01:22:00,833 --> 01:22:01,880
It's Diana.
1612
01:22:02,793 --> 01:22:05,672
I invited her to the party.
I like her.
1613
01:22:05,879 --> 01:22:07,301
That's okay, isn't it?
1614
01:22:07,464 --> 01:22:09,011
I mean, you said Sophie
wouldn't want me
1615
01:22:09,174 --> 01:22:12,018
to be miserable the rest
of my life, right? So...
1616
01:22:12,886 --> 01:22:14,388

Right?
1617
01:22:15,055 --> 01:22:18,355
No, listen, I got nothing
to go home to anymore.
1618
01:22:18,517 --> 01:22:20,736
I got nothing, Billy.
I mean, it's an empty house
1619
01:22:20,894 --> 01:22:23,443
with a bunch of photographs.
It's very depressing.
1620
01:22:23,856 --> 01:22:27,076
She, at least, makes me feel
a little bit alive.
1621
01:22:27,234 --> 01:22:31,034
And feeling a little bit alive is a lot
better than just waiting to die, right?
1622
01:22:31,822 --> 01:22:33,290
Right?
1623
01:22:35,701 --> 01:22:37,169
Are you--? Billy, what's...?
1624
01:22:39,913 --> 01:22:41,915
Oh, my God.
1625
01:22:42,082 --> 01:22:43,129
You like her.
1626
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:52,263
Susan, hi.
1627
01:22:54,428 --> 01:22:56,806
PADDY: Uh-oh.
You're getting married.
1628
01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:59,020
- But you're a widower.
- You said Sophie would
1629
01:22:59,183 --> 01:23:00,685
want me to move
on with my life.
1630
01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:03,400
- That's right. Exactly.
- Well, you know, I was wrong.
1631
01:23:04,229 --> 01:23:05,321
(PEOPLE GASPING)
1632
01:23:06,356 --> 01:23:07,448
You asshole!
1633
01:23:07,608 --> 01:23:09,110
BOTH:
Asshole! Whoo!
1634
01:23:09,276 --> 01:23:11,153
(ALL CHEERING)
1635
01:23:12,404 --> 01:23:13,906
You are so cool!
1636
01:23:14,531 --> 01:23:16,158
Diana.
1637
01:23:16,700 --> 01:23:18,122
We gotta talk.
1638
01:23:18,285 --> 01:23:20,037
(CHEERING)
1639
01:23:28,462 --> 01:23:30,760
Hey, don't even think
about kissing me
1640
01:23:30,923 --> 01:23:33,551
until you've talked to
your fiance.
1641
01:23:34,384 --> 01:23:35,977
Paddy's gonna ask you out.
1642
01:23:36,470 --> 01:23:38,643
That's why I want to
get to you first.
1643
01:23:39,890 --> 01:23:42,518
Diana, you know
he's completely alone.
1644
01:23:42,684 --> 01:23:44,812
I just think you gotta
give him a chance.
1645
01:23:47,481 --> 01:23:48,733
Okay.
1646
01:23:48,899 --> 01:23:50,446
I thought...
1647
01:23:53,070 --> 01:23:54,743
Well, that's completely
embarrassing.
1648
01:23:54,905 --> 01:23:57,283
I guess I misunderstood.
1649
01:23:57,449 --> 01:23:58,621
No, it's not like that.
1650
01:23:58,784 --> 01:24:01,333
- No, it's not. It's not.
- Well, what is it?
1651
01:24:01,495 --> 01:24:04,374
Are you just gifting me to him
like you did his wife?
1652
01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:07,089
- It's not the same as that.
- Well, how is it different?
1653
01:24:07,251 --> 01:24:09,720
His wife had a choice to make.
First she came to you.
1654
01:24:09,878 --> 01:24:11,596
- You said, "No, choose him."
- Oh, stop it.
1655
01:24:11,755 --> 01:24:13,177
- And so she did.
- Diana, stop--
1656
01:24:13,340 --> 01:24:14,762

How's it different?
1657
01:24:18,345 --> 01:24:19,972
That true?
1658
01:24:21,139 --> 01:24:22,436
What she just said?
1659
01:24:34,194 --> 01:24:35,537
Wow.
1660
01:24:42,119 --> 01:24:45,544
Poof. Just like that, everything.
1661
01:24:49,001 --> 01:24:50,469
Look, Paddy...
1662
01:24:52,004 --> 01:24:53,426
Paddy.
1663
01:24:59,553 --> 01:25:01,180
Oh, my God.
1664
01:25:04,016 --> 01:25:06,064
I am so sorry.
1665
01:25:07,477 --> 01:25:08,899
(SIGHS)
1666
01:25:10,564 --> 01:25:14,239
No, it's not your fault.
It's, you know...
1667
01:25:16,903 --> 01:25:19,076
He's my best friend, you know?
1668
01:25:37,466 --> 01:25:40,436
WOMEN: Ha-ha-ha.
SAM: And these four guys...
1669
01:25:54,775 --> 01:25:56,527
Paddy, you okay?
1670
01:25:57,527 --> 01:25:58,949
Paddy, what's wrong?
1671
01:25:59,112 --> 01:26:00,534
What happened?
1672
01:26:01,448 --> 01:26:02,825
Paddy?
1673
01:27:07,514 --> 01:27:09,107
(SIGHS)
1674
01:27:22,612 --> 01:27:24,660
We were kids, Paddy.
1675
01:27:27,284 --> 01:27:28,957

You don't know women.
1676
01:27:29,619 --> 01:27:30,871
What are you talking about?
1677
01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:33,423
Look, Billy, you don't know women
the way I know them.
1678
01:27:33,582 --> 01:27:35,880
You haven't shared
a full life with anyone.
1679
01:27:36,042 --> 01:27:37,965
You don't know what that is.
1680
01:27:39,296 --> 01:27:41,264
You can't tell a woman who to love.
1681
01:27:41,423 --> 01:27:44,347

Especially Sophie. You can't do it.
1682
01:27:45,218 --> 01:27:47,346
I know what I had
with my wife, Billy.
1683
01:27:47,512 --> 01:27:48,855
Thanks to you.
1684
01:27:49,014 --> 01:27:52,735
So I'm gonna ask you one more time,
you miserable prick.
1685
01:27:52,893 --> 01:27:54,019
One more time.
1686
01:27:54,186 --> 01:27:57,360
Do you love this woman
you are about to marry?
1687
01:27:57,522 --> 01:27:59,149
LISA:
Billy!
1688
01:27:59,649 --> 01:28:00,696
(CHUCKLES)
1689
01:28:01,777 --> 01:28:05,122
All right, here's the deal:
You end it, or I will.
1690
01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:08,875
Hey, hey, you stay out of this, all right?
It has nothing to do with you.
1691
01:28:12,746 --> 01:28:14,214
Hey, babe!
1692
01:28:14,623 --> 01:28:17,547
- I owe you this one.
- Aah!
1693
01:28:22,506 --> 01:28:25,851
Lisa, my name's Patrick Connors.
Although that imbecile in the pool there
1694
01:28:26,009 --> 01:28:28,182
started calling me Paddy
when we were kids and it stuck.
1695
01:28:28,345 --> 01:28:30,347
Oh, right. Paddy!
It's so great to finally meet you.
1696
01:28:30,514 --> 01:28:32,516
- Yeah, nice to meet you.
- Billy's told me so much.
1697
01:28:32,682 --> 01:28:34,025
Why did you throw him in the pool?
1698
01:28:34,184 --> 01:28:36,152
Ah, that's just an old game
from the neighborhood.
1699
01:28:36,311 --> 01:28:38,188
Listen, dear.
Can I tell you something?
1700
01:28:38,355 --> 01:28:40,323
- Yeah.
- Fifty years ago,
1701
01:28:40,482 --> 01:28:42,576
Billy did something for me
1702
01:28:42,734 --> 01:28:45,613
that allowed me to marry
the only woman I ever loved.
1703
01:28:45,779 --> 01:28:47,702
And now it's my chance

to return the favor.
1704
01:28:48,865 --> 01:28:52,165
- I'm sorry, I don't understand.
- He's not in love with you.
1705
01:28:53,036 --> 01:28:55,164
He likes you.
I know he likes you a whole lot,
1706
01:28:55,330 --> 01:28:58,174
but he doesn't love you
like the way that he should.
1707
01:28:58,792 --> 01:29:00,169
I can't let him marry you.
1708
01:29:00,335 --> 01:29:02,838
He's my best friend.
I can't let him marry you.
1709
01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:07,346
Billy?
1710
01:29:08,677 --> 01:29:11,146
I guess we gotta talk, huh?
1711
01:29:12,597 --> 01:29:14,520
SAM:
What is he saying to her?
1712
01:29:14,683 --> 01:29:17,857
That she's young,
got her whole life ahead of her.
1713
01:29:18,019 --> 01:29:21,068
Trying as best he can
to let her down easy.
1714
01:29:21,231 --> 01:29:22,733
I'm sorry,
I didn't catch your names.
1715
01:29:22,899 --> 01:29:24,651
- Madison.
- Taylor.
1716
01:29:24,818 --> 01:29:26,195
Madison.
1717
01:29:28,113 --> 01:29:30,832
How do you think
she's, uh, taking it?
1718
01:29:35,662 --> 01:29:36,834
ARCHIE:
Mixed emotions.
1719
01:29:37,789 --> 01:29:41,009
- This blows.
- Yeah. Blows.
1720
01:29:44,629 --> 01:29:47,382
This is gonna be one
sloppy, drunken weekend.
1721
01:29:47,549 --> 01:29:49,017
Yeah. Uh, bye, Taylor.
1722
01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:51,845
Bye, Madisons.
1723
01:30:14,367 --> 01:30:15,414
Hey, uh, Billy?
1724
01:30:16,536 --> 01:30:17,753
Yeah?
1725
01:30:18,997 --> 01:30:20,624
I couldn't let you marry her.
1726
01:30:22,125 --> 01:30:25,846
No, you did it right. You, uh...
Congratulations, a good job.
1727
01:30:27,130 --> 01:30:30,930
- You mad?
- No. No, you were right.
1728
01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:34,513
Because, you know,
if you're mad that's okay.
1729
01:30:34,679 --> 01:30:37,523
No, Paddy. I... I'm old.
1730
01:30:38,183 --> 01:30:39,685
You know?
1731
01:30:39,893 --> 01:30:42,362
And without her, uh...
1732
01:30:42,520 --> 01:30:44,739
I'm just scared of being old.
1733
01:30:47,359 --> 01:30:48,611
(SIGHS)
1734
01:30:48,777 --> 01:30:51,951
We were 17, you know,
five minutes ago.
1735
01:30:52,113 --> 01:30:55,287
It was just yesterday. I just don't know
where it all went, you know?
1736
01:30:56,618 --> 01:31:01,670
My brain cannot conceive
how old this body is.
1737
01:31:04,584 --> 01:31:06,678
Our girl's gone, Pat.
1738
01:31:07,462 --> 01:31:10,341
And I wasn't there
at the funeral.
1739
01:31:10,966 --> 01:31:13,594
And I'm so sorry about that.
1740
01:31:15,428 --> 01:31:17,522
I let you down, man.
1741
01:31:18,932 --> 01:31:21,560
And I couldn't bring myself
to say goodbye.
1742
01:31:22,644 --> 01:31:27,150
Archie's got a stroke, and Sam, well,
he's gone to Florida.
1743
01:31:27,315 --> 01:31:30,114

Man, it's just winding up
a little too fast.
1744
01:31:30,276 --> 01:31:34,076
And I'm feeling old and alone.
1745
01:31:38,076 --> 01:31:39,123
You have us.
1746
01:31:40,912 --> 01:31:42,505
ARCHIE:
Yeah, Billy.
1747
01:31:42,914 --> 01:31:45,133
God help you, you got us.
1748
01:31:47,919 --> 01:31:49,967
And you got a hot little number
singing her heart out
1749
01:31:50,130 --> 01:31:52,679
in some shithole across town,
you lucky son of a bitch.
1750
01:32:02,225 --> 01:32:03,693
Man.
1751
01:32:04,060 --> 01:32:06,154
(BAND PLAYING SLOW JAZZ MUSIC)
1752
01:32:06,688 --> 01:32:09,282
DIANA (SINGING):
Only you
1753
01:32:11,568 --> 01:32:17,951
Only you can make this
Change in me
1754
01:32:18,700 --> 01:32:21,203
1755
01:32:23,538 --> 01:32:26,462
Oh, baby, you're my
1756
01:32:27,667 --> 01:32:30,136
Destiny
1757
01:32:30,837 --> 01:32:34,762
When you hold my hand
1758
01:32:40,972 --> 01:32:42,770
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
1759
01:32:42,932 --> 01:32:44,605
WOMAN:
Is she sick?
1760
01:32:45,560 --> 01:32:47,187
That's it?
You're not gonna finish?
1761
01:32:47,353 --> 01:32:50,232
Shush. You got in for free.
1762
01:32:54,277 --> 01:32:57,827
So how did she take it?
1763
01:32:57,989 --> 01:33:01,118
Well, she's probably
in Malibu by now
1764
01:33:01,284 --> 01:33:03,537
burning my house down, you know?
1765
01:33:03,703 --> 01:33:06,252
It went as well as you could expect.
1766
01:33:06,831 --> 01:33:09,254
Poor kid. Are those for me?
1767
01:33:09,417 --> 01:33:11,465
Hmm? Oh.
1768
01:33:11,628 --> 01:33:13,847
Actually, um, no.
1769
01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:16,974
I'm sorry, um...
1770
01:33:17,717 --> 01:33:19,060
Excuse me.
1771
01:33:20,845 --> 01:33:23,519
On behalf of Binion's,
I'd like to apologize
1772
01:33:23,681 --> 01:33:25,979
for the delay in the
show, but, um...
1773
01:33:26,893 --> 01:33:28,190
(SIGHS)
1774
01:33:28,353 --> 01:33:30,856
...I'm really interested
in the performer.
1775
01:33:32,857 --> 01:33:35,701
She's the most amazing woman
I ever met,
1776
01:33:36,528 --> 01:33:41,159
and I just can't believe in two days
that she's, you know, inside my heart.
1777
01:33:43,535 --> 01:33:46,163
But I don't want her to know,
1778
01:33:46,329 --> 01:33:48,331
because, you know,
with gorgeous women,
1779
01:33:48,498 --> 01:33:51,001
they like men
that like to play hard-to-get.
1780
01:33:51,376 --> 01:33:53,879
True. Very true.
1781
01:33:54,921 --> 01:33:56,594
Thank you.
1782
01:34:01,803 --> 01:34:03,146
Okay, that worked.
1783
01:34:05,306 --> 01:34:07,980
So you gonna kiss me
now, or, um,
1784
01:34:08,143 --> 01:34:10,896
you want to hear more about

how I'm falling for you?
1785
01:34:11,896 --> 01:34:14,365
Eye contact. You...
1786
01:34:14,941 --> 01:34:17,615
it doesn't mean anything
without eye contact.
1787
01:34:28,788 --> 01:34:31,007
I'm looking at you, baby.
1788
01:34:32,458 --> 01:34:34,586
Mm, uh-oh.
1789
01:34:45,805 --> 01:34:47,102
(GRUNTS)
1790
01:34:47,265 --> 01:34:49,609
ARCHIE: All right, kid,

we'll take it from here.
1791
01:34:50,602 --> 01:34:52,980
Time you went and hung out
with some guys your own age.
1792
01:34:54,105 --> 01:34:56,654
And here's a little something
for your troubles.
1793
01:34:57,984 --> 01:35:00,703
- Wow, you sure?
- No, I was just putting you on.
1794
01:35:00,862 --> 01:35:03,536
- Of course I'm sure.
- You give the best advice.
1795
01:35:03,740 --> 01:35:05,037
(ARCHIE CHUCKLES)
1796
01:35:06,159 --> 01:35:07,911
You breathe a word
about us to the feds,
1797
01:35:08,077 --> 01:35:10,045
we will hunt you down.
1798
01:35:12,916 --> 01:35:15,169
(LAUGHING)
1799
01:35:19,005 --> 01:35:20,928
Uh, my lips are sealed,
Mr. Accountant.
1800
01:35:21,090 --> 01:35:22,637
Let me get your bag.
1801
01:35:24,010 --> 01:35:26,980
- Boys! What's up, fellas?
- Lonnie-boy!
1802
01:35:27,138 --> 01:35:28,640
SAM: Hey.
- All right, you ready to go?
1803
01:35:28,806 --> 01:35:30,023
Packed?
You got everything?
1804
01:35:30,391 --> 01:35:31,938
Let me get this off my chest.
1805
01:35:32,101 --> 01:35:34,945
I've hosted superstars,
I've hosted billionaires,
1806
01:35:35,104 --> 01:35:37,448
I've hosted kings,
and they ain't got nothing--
1807
01:35:37,607 --> 01:35:41,237
I said they have nothing on the
Flatbush Four, you hear me?
1808
01:35:41,402 --> 01:35:43,245
Nothing. And I remember,
1809
01:35:43,404 --> 01:35:46,374
I heard this beautiful quote.
It was, uh...
1810
01:35:46,532 --> 01:35:52,039
"Ain't nothing in this world
that's deeper than loyalty and love,
1811
01:35:52,580 --> 01:35:55,333
except for loyalty and love
between thugs."
1812
01:35:58,169 --> 01:36:00,092
Fifty-Cent, man!
Fifty!
1813
01:36:00,255 --> 01:36:02,849
BILLY: Hey, Lonnie, get a limo
for our buddy here and take him
1814
01:36:03,007 --> 01:36:04,554
out to the airport to
meet his friends.
1815
01:36:04,717 --> 01:36:06,970
Thank you.
Great party.
1816
01:36:07,762 --> 01:36:09,389
- Let's go, wise guy, come on.
- Let's go.
1817
01:36:09,555 --> 01:36:11,023
Okay, gentlemen.
1818
01:36:11,891 --> 01:36:13,518
PADDY:
Who wants a drink?
1819
01:36:13,685 --> 01:36:14,732
Drink?
1820
01:36:14,894 --> 01:36:16,862
Oh, man, where the hell
did you find that?
1821
01:36:17,021 --> 01:36:19,524
- Found it in the garbage.
- Crack that puppy open, buddy.
1822
01:36:19,691 --> 01:36:20,988
SAM:
It's about time.
1823
01:36:21,150 --> 01:36:23,699

BILLY:
Ah, perfect, yeah. Okay.
1824
01:36:27,448 --> 01:36:29,997
Okay, so, uh,
1825
01:36:30,576 --> 01:36:33,170
here's to being invincible.
1826
01:36:33,329 --> 01:36:34,546
Invincible.
1827
01:36:35,373 --> 01:36:37,922
- Invincible.
- Invincible.
1828
01:36:41,879 --> 01:36:43,426
(GRUNTING AND SPITTING)
1829
01:36:43,589 --> 01:36:45,182

ARCHIE: Jeez.
SAM: Terrible!
1830
01:36:45,341 --> 01:36:47,014
ARCHIE: Water.
- I gotta go brush my teeth.
1831
01:36:48,261 --> 01:36:50,434
ARCHIE:
It can't go bad. It's Scotch.
1832
01:36:50,596 --> 01:36:52,064
It's not so bad.
1833
01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:09,115
All right, Paddy,
I think you and I go in
1834
01:37:09,282 --> 01:37:11,410
and... that way.
1835
01:37:11,576 --> 01:37:13,203
Sam, you go in and that way.
1836
01:37:13,369 --> 01:37:15,713
And I go that way.
1837
01:37:15,872 --> 01:37:17,715
- Okay.
BILLY: Okay.
1838
01:37:19,459 --> 01:37:22,212
So, uh, hell of a weekend.
1839
01:37:22,378 --> 01:37:24,597
Yeah. Yeah.
1840
01:37:24,756 --> 01:37:26,599
- That's for sure. Heh.
- Heh.
1841
01:37:26,758 --> 01:37:27,805
- You think?
ARCHIE: Yeah.
1842
01:37:27,967 --> 01:37:29,435
Yeah, next year...
1843
01:37:30,803 --> 01:37:31,850
...Disney World.
1844
01:37:33,097 --> 01:37:34,849
Myrtle Beach.
1845
01:37:35,016 --> 01:37:38,065
PADDY: Uh, Poconos.
SAM: The Poconos.
1846
01:37:38,227 --> 01:37:39,604
Yeah, that's supposed to be nice.
1847
01:37:39,771 --> 01:37:41,819
PADDY: Atlantic City.
SAM: Atlantic City?
1848
01:37:41,981 --> 01:37:43,153
But it's gotta be summer.
1849
01:37:43,316 --> 01:37:45,990
SAM:
Kayaking in Norway.
1850
01:37:46,152 --> 01:37:48,826
Or the Orient Express.
1851
01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:52,288
We could take a barge
through the canals of, uh...
1852
01:37:52,450 --> 01:37:55,203
PADDY: France.
SAM: France, Europe, Germany.
1853
01:37:55,370 --> 01:37:58,249
You guys are the best thing
that ever happened to me.
1854
01:37:58,831 --> 01:38:00,424
Yeah.
1855
01:38:00,583 --> 01:38:01,835
I don't care how
ugly you are.
1856
01:38:02,001 --> 01:38:03,093
(LAUGHS)
1857
01:38:06,756 --> 01:38:10,101
- Sixty years.
- Yeah.
1858
01:38:16,140 --> 01:38:17,392
Yeah.
1859
01:38:23,064 --> 01:38:24,111
Okay.
1860
01:38:25,525 --> 01:38:26,777
Okay.
1861
01:38:28,528 --> 01:38:31,873
- Okay.
- Okay.
1862
01:38:44,836 --> 01:38:47,259
Hey! Wrong way.
1863
01:39:08,151 --> 01:39:09,277
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
1864
01:39:09,819 --> 01:39:11,742

(RINGTONE PLAYING ON CELL PHONE)
1865
01:39:11,904 --> 01:39:13,656
Oh. Hang on.
1866
01:39:14,490 --> 01:39:18,245
- Hello?
- Archibald, I got some news.
1867
01:39:18,411 --> 01:39:21,631
- Is it the prostate?
- No, man, it's not my prostate.
1868
01:39:21,789 --> 01:39:24,212
What's it with you and always
about the prostate, you know?
1869
01:39:24,375 --> 01:39:26,673
Wait a minute, let me patch in
the other guys, huh?
1870
01:39:26,836 --> 01:39:29,259
- I got that good cheese from France.
- Good.
1871
01:39:29,422 --> 01:39:30,765
- Mm-hm.
- And a bottle of wine?
1872
01:39:30,923 --> 01:39:32,220
Mm-hm.
1873
01:39:33,301 --> 01:39:35,349
(PHONE RINGING)
1874
01:39:40,975 --> 01:39:43,103
- Hello?
- Hey, Paddy, it's Billy and Archie.
1875
01:39:43,269 --> 01:39:44,316
(PHONE LINE RINGING)
1876
01:39:44,479 --> 01:39:46,573
- Why is the phone ringing?
- Sam's not picking up.
1877
01:39:46,731 --> 01:39:48,358
(RINGING AND BUZZING)
1878
01:39:50,109 --> 01:39:51,361
BILLY:
So, guys, you ready for this?
1879
01:39:53,654 --> 01:39:55,577
Diana and I are gonna get married.
1880
01:39:55,740 --> 01:39:58,539
- Oh, wow!
- She's making a huge mistake.
1881
01:39:58,701 --> 01:40:00,123

He says you're making
a huge mistake.
1882
01:40:00,286 --> 01:40:02,459
Yeah, tell him I know.
I know, Paddy.
1883
01:40:02,622 --> 01:40:04,875
What about the five trips
to the toilet every night?
1884
01:40:05,041 --> 01:40:07,260
- I know it all.
- Congratulations.
1885
01:40:07,418 --> 01:40:09,716
I'll call you later, we'll talk
about the details, okay?
1886
01:40:09,879 --> 01:40:11,722
We're heading to a concert now

at the park.
1887
01:40:11,881 --> 01:40:13,303
- Oh.
- Really? Is she attractive?
1888
01:40:13,883 --> 01:40:15,681
- She'll do.
- All right, guys, well,
1889
01:40:15,843 --> 01:40:17,641
I gotta get my grandbaby
back inside.
1890
01:40:17,803 --> 01:40:19,305
I'll talk to you later.
1891
01:40:19,472 --> 01:40:21,270
- Congratulations, partner.
- From me too.
1892
01:40:21,432 --> 01:40:22,729
Okay, guys, talk to you later.
1893
01:40:22,892 --> 01:40:25,315
- See you soon.
- Bye.
1894
01:40:26,646 --> 01:40:27,693
Attaboy.
1895
01:40:29,357 --> 01:40:31,200
(RINGING)
1896
01:40:31,359 --> 01:40:32,531
Oh, good, it stopped.
1897
01:40:32,693 --> 01:40:34,787
- Ah.
- Ha. Good.
1898
01:40:34,946 --> 01:40:37,040
- Hell with it.
- Hell with it.
1899
01:40:37,198 --> 01:40:38,700
Ah, how about that, eh?
1900
01:40:38,866 --> 01:40:40,834
- Pretty amazing.
- Yeah.
1901
01:40:40,993 --> 01:40:42,210
And no Viagra.
1902
01:40:42,370 --> 01:40:43,587
- Or Dramamine.
- Ha, ha.
1903
01:40:43,746 --> 01:40:45,464
We're gonna go again.
1904
01:40:45,623 --> 01:40:46,670
- Go where?
- We're going.
1905
01:40:46,832 --> 01:40:48,459
What, are you cr--?
Oh, no! Ha, ha.
1906
01:40:48,626 --> 01:40:51,004
Enough's enough!
Are you trying to kill me?

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1

00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:47,529

00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,910

Or whatever stupid name

since you've been paid, Sam?

he'll kick your ass.

Kick, kick, kick.

00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:56,407

WOMAN: Say bye to Grandpa.

It's Elizabeth, your neighbor.

00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,769

and before you change your mind,

and told me that my, uh, friend,

00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,615

Ran out of Scotch, found this

00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,386

Billy, hey, hey!

Why every time the phone rings,

- I have a hemorrhoid that's almost 32.

00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,340

00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,282

00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:11,799

- You getting excited?

- Where did you get a condom?

00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,192

00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,724

It's our turn.

00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:35,156

00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,097

This-- This has nothing to--

00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:32,092

That stays there,

Archie, you okay?

00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,145

00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,888

Ha, ha! Well!

00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,691

Billy marrying an infant.

Now, either you'll manage

00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,769

on making the reservations.

- But we're the ones getting the rooms.

00:25:23,772 --> 00:25:28,152

<i>You're my dream come true</i>

you lack quality entertainment.

No, she's good, she's good.

00:26:48,107 --> 00:26:50,109

Are you good in bed, Sam?

00:27:21,265 --> 00:27:22,858

You're no spring chicken,

00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,818

than that. I--

- There you are.

- Screw this, all right?

00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,258

So now it's just me, on my own.

00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:48,434

00:31:10,369 --> 00:31:12,542

00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:40,949

All right, Paddy, you just won

00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:07,949

Sir, I think she's asking

half my pension, $15,000.

Thank you, guys, for killing