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PatriciaCalloway

Ms.Bistritz
WellnessFair
3/17/16
Miscommunicationbetweenparentsandteenagers

Isthisjustastageordoeshe/shereallyfeellikethis?Whydonttheyliketalkingtome?
Thesearethemostcommonquestionsaskedbyaparentwhentheirchild/childrenaregrowing
upandbecomedistantfromtheirparents.Somechildrencangototheirparentsforanythingand
otherscant.Mostsaytheirparentsorparentwillnotunderstandthem.Thisiswhentheygotoa
peerwhichcanhaveapositiveornegativeeffectontheteen.Relationshipsbetweenateenager
andtheirparentcanbeunstablebecausetherearemisunderstandingsbetweenwhohasthe
authorityinthehome,teensfeelingthattheirparentsdoesntunderstandthem,andduring
pubertyteenagerswanttheirindependencewhichmakestheparent(s)feelrejected.
AccordingtoDianaSmart,AnnSanson,andJohnW.Toumbouroutherearemany
differencesbetweenadolescentsandparent(s),suchasbehaviorintheirrelationshipsonpersonal
characteristics,family,peers,andschoolfunctionings.Theresearchersexplained,Inthesurvey
thatwasgivenbyresearchersteenagersreportedhowoftentheirparentsdidnotunderstand
them,ordidnotunderstandwhattheyweregoingthrough(Smart2).Theauthorsexplainstous
thattherearemanydifferencesandreasonsbehindwhyparentteenrelationshipsarerockyat
times.Researchersgatheredinformationfromteenagersbygivingthema5pointscaletestof
almostalwaystrue,oftentrue,sometimestrue,seldomtrueandalmostnevertrue.Over70%of

theteenagersfelttheirparentsdidnottrusttheirjudgement,consideredtheirpointofview,
understoodthem,andunderstoodwhattheyweregoingthrough.Theresearcherssaid,
However,teenagerswerelesslikelytoconfideinparents,withonlyaround50%sayingthey
"almostalways"or"often"talkedwithparentsabouttroublesordifficultiestheywere
experiencing(Smart,Sanson,Toumbourou34).Theauthorisexplainingtousthatabouthalf
oftheteenagersthattookthistestfeltasiftheirparentsdidnotunderstandthemorwhatthey
weregoingthrough.Whenateenagerfeelsthiswaytheystarttobecomedistantfromtheir
parentsandbegintonotseektheirparentattentionanymore.Theauthorsalsoexpressed,
Consistentwithteenagerreports,mostparentsreportedgoodrelationshipswiththeirteenagers,
withmorethan70%believingtheygotonwellwiththeirteenager,enjoyedhis/hercompany,
andpraisedorrewardedhim/herfordoingagoodjob(Smart,Sanson,Toumbourou6).This
groupofparentsthatweretestedbelievedthattheirrelationshipwiththeirteenagerweregood.
Theyfeltasiftheirchild/childrenactuallyfeltasiftheyhadagoodrelationship,besidesthe
other30%whodisagreedabouthowtheyfeltbetweentheirrelationshipwiththeir
child/children.Manythingscancauseaparentteenrelationshiptobecomeverydistantand
nonsupportiveatanygivenmoment.
AccordingtoKennethLevy,relationshipsbetweenparentsandyoungchildrenare
generallycomplicatedintermsofunderstandingwhohastheauthorityintherelationship.Levy
expressed,Duringpuberty,theyoungpersonbeginstoseekanadultidentity,whichinvolves
graduallyestablishingemotionalindependencefromparents.Parentsmayreactwithangeror
feelingsofrejection.Reciprocalfeelingsofrejectionalsomaybeexperiencedbytheadolescent.
Thus,thisisoftenadifficultperiodintheparentadolescentrelationship(Levy1).Theauthor

explainstousthatwhenateenagerisgrowingupundisciplineditcouldmakethemavery
dangerousyoungadult.Australianresearcherslearnedthatmostteenagerswilldevelopan
attitudetowardsauthoritysuchasteachers,policeofficer,&others.Researchersexplained,
Commonareasofconflictincludeschoolgrades,timespentwatchingtelevision,household
chores,andpersonalappearance(Papini&Sebby2).Researchersstudiedtheattitudeof
delinquents,andnondelinquents.Researchersaythatnondelinquentteenshaveabetterattitude
towardsauthoritythenthedelinquentteens.Badparentingandnondisciplinetoateencan
developanattitudewhenitcomestoauthoritytellingthemwhattodo.Australianresearchers
expressed,Inthelasttwodecades,therehavebeenanumberofvaluablestudiesinAustralia
thathavemeasuredyoungpeople'sattitudestowardsinstitutionalauthority.Manyofthese
studieshaveexaminedattitudestowardsanumberofsignificantsources(orpotentialsources)of
authorityforyouth,suchaspolice,thelaw,teachers,andthearmy

(Heaven,1988).Theauthors
writingexplainsthattheirhasbeenmanymanyteenagerswhombecameviolentfromtheir
attitudetowardsauthority.Parentshasthemostauthoritysotheteenusuallyhasanattitude
towardtheparentwhichcancauseapoorrelationshipbetweentheparentandtheteen.
Thelackofparentalguidancecanhaveapoorreflectontheteenagerlifegrowingup.Alsomany
otherthingsparentslackcanaffecttheteenagerslife.
AccordingtoMirkaBeestandChrisBaerveldt

thelackofsocialsupportfromparentscan
causereactionsduetothelackofexperiencesuchassupportandcarefortheteen.Theauthors
explained,Whenachildhaslostbothparents,peerscanofferemotionalsecurity,which
indicatesthattheycanfunctionassubstituteswhenparentalsupportislacking(Belle1988).
Theauthorisexplainingthatsometimesitisagoodandpositiveoutcomewhenteenagerlooks

uptoapeerandgettingtheparenteffectfromapeer.Mostteenagersjustwanttwoparent
figuresintheirlifeandforthemtounderstandwhattheymightgothroughasateenager.
Researchersexplained,Whenadolescents'perceptionofparents'supportisnegative,
irrespectiveofwhatisenacted,theymaylookforcompensatorysupportfrompeers(Beestand
Baerveldt1).Researcherscametoaconclusionthatwhennotgiventherightamountofsupport
teenagersmayleanonsomeoneelsesuchasapeerwhichcanbeagoodorbadthing.When
lookingforotherstoleanonteenagersbecomedistantfromothersandhaveahostileattitudeto
authority.Researchersexplained,Thefirsthypothesiswasthatadolescentswhoexperience
littleparentalsupportwillcompensatewithsupportfrompeers.Anegativecorrelationwould
thusbeexpectedbetweenperceptionofparentalsupportontheonehand,andsupportfrompeers
ontheother(BeestandBaerveldt1).Theauthorsexplanationwasthattherelationship
betweenadolescents'socialsupportfromparentsandfrompeerscanaffecthowateenagerreacts
whentheygetolder.Researchersdida3parthypothesistesttoshowwhetherateenagergets
poorsupportfromaparentifso,dotheyrelyonapeertohelp&dotheyinfluencethem
negativelyorpositively?Parent&teenrelationshipscanbeverydisturbing,andthedisturbance
cancomefrommanythingsasyoucansee.Alotoflittlethingscaninfluenceateenagertohave
anattitudetosomethingorsomeone.
Parentteenrelationshipcauseschallengeswiththechildandparentwhichwewouldlike
toknowthebestwaytoovercomethesechallenges.Differentthingscancausechallengesina
parentteenrelationshipbutthemostcommonisthatthechildjustsimplydoesntwanttotalkto
them.Thisdoesnotmeantheyneedcounselingoranytreatmentitsastageinlifethattheteen
maygothrough.Theluckyonesaretheoneswhoactuallyfeelscomfortabletotalktheir

parent(s)aboutanything.Ateenagerwiththeirparentcanhaveastablerelationshipbecause
therearemisunderstandingsbetweenwhohastheauthorityinthehome,teensfeelingthattheir
parentsdontunderstandthem,andduringpubertyteenagerswanttheirindependencewhich
makestheparent(s)feelrejected.

Smart,DianaF.,AnnV.Sanson,andJohnW.Toumbourou."Howdoparentsand
teenagersgetalongtogether?Viewsofyoungpeopleandtheirparents."
FamilyMatters
Summer
2008:18.
StudentResourcesinContext
.Web.4Feb.2016
Levy,KennethSt.C."THERELATIONSHIPBETWEENADOLESCENT
ATTITUDESTOWARDSAUTHORITY,SELFCONCEPT,ANDDELINQUENCY."
Adolescence
36.142(2001):333.
StudentResourcesinContext
.Web.4Feb.2016.
Beest,Mirkavan,andChrisBaerveldt."Therelationshipbetweenadolescents'
socialsupportfromparentsandfrompeers."
Adolescence
34.133(1999):193+.
Student
ResourcesinContext
.Web.4Feb.2016.

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