Week one

April 29, 2016

I was sure this morning when I woke up that today was sure to be
one of the most important and emotional days of my life. I thought for
sure I would feel an overwhelming amount of joy as I entered the
temple for the first time. The temple is beautiful, peaceful sacred and
so pure. I loved everything about my experience at the temple and all
the wonderful feelings I felt. The reassurance that the church of Jesus
Christ of Later day Saints is the true and everlasting gospel, and that
my decision to go on a mission for 18 months was the right decision.
Although I also received another feeling while I was in the temple. A
feeling where I felt it was my time to go into the bishops office and talk
to my bishop a memory had popped into my mind of something I had
done almost six months prior that had never really came to mind or
even seemed like a big deal to me. I knew thought that the over
whelming feeling that overcame me in the temple was one that to
continue without consul from my bishop would be an unwise decision.
Although this might have been the case for me that I did not feel what I
had done was so serious until I was in the temple. This is not the case
for everyone if you feel the need to talk to your bishop even if you are
unsure if you are ok or not just go talk to your bishop as soon as
possible. You will be blessed
That night I told my mom what had happened a few months prior
and how I felt the need to talk to my bishop. I was terrified and unsure
what my mom would think of me or how she would react. I was
terrified I was sure she would think less of me as her daughter. But
that was Satan talking to me. My mom embraced me and applauded
me for all I was doing and so proud of me for the decision I made to go
forward with talking to my bishop. The next few days were hard as I
beat my self up over what I had done although it was nothing serious it
was eating me inside. I no longer felt worthy of the love of my
Heavenly Father, I felt as if I would never be clean again and that I
would be an unwanted daughter.
April 30, 2016
As I was driving home from a wedding tonight I decided to take a
minute and pray as I drove home. Alone in my car I turned on some
hymns and said a prayer out loud. I prayed for strength and courage
to talk to my bishop and be completely honest. I cried my eyes out
and I was terrified I wasnt sure what to ask for with the unsure of how
serious my sin was. As I prayed I felt something indescribable, I felt as
if I was being hugged and told it was all going to be ok. I was
overcome with joy and happiness and felt reassured that what I was
doing was the right thing to be doing. I felt ok with what I was doing I
no longer was scared.

May 1, 2016
Waking up Sunday morning to talk to my bishop was hard, I
wasnt sure what he would say or how I would react, but I went
anyway. I sat down and began to talk; slowly my eyes filled with tears
and began to run down my face. My bishop told me he was proud of
me for what I was doing and that many people do not have the
courage to accept the atonement in their lives. My first step out of the
bishops office was my first real step in the atonement of Christ. The
rest of the day was hard as I went into sacrament meeting and was in
fear of everyone seeing me and noticing that I dont partake of the
sacrament. As I sat in the back by myself and the sacrament prayers
were said I listened and understood the importance of the sacrament.
It has only been a few hours since I have taken the atonement upon
myself and I already have a better understanding of the atonement
and the love Jesus Christ has for each and every one of us.