1

MOTHERHOOD

Insignificance.

The doctor was reluctant

he tried to put me off,
as I convinced him to test me.
Everyone said: 'It's too early yet, keep it quiet'.
Threats of a lost child before its heart could beat.

Well, if that little embryo has survived my anxiety,

my mood swings, depression and rage
if it attached to the womb and started its next stage,
then its cynics will be silenced
how DARE they judge its demise
with the enthusiasm of a plank?

No more will I spread my news with those undeserving.

All that matters now is IT, he or she,
I do not care which it may be.
The start of its fourth week today,
and for that, it deserves a 'hurray'!
 2

ONE DAY.

One day, I'll have my first child

I'll try and try, and wait and wait,
and one day, it will happen.

Today it happened.
The test was positive.
Just like I said.
My first baby,
a new member of the clan.

A learner driver, I sped down the motorway,

broke the Law to spread the good news
of my truth.

And when I arrived,

within one hour of my happiness,
held inside a little white stick,
my world was rivalled
by another piece of good news......

She got there four months before me,

and her joy had already spread,
so I was just secondary.
 3

LIES

Why did you think

that by lying,
you would protect me?

I asked you all the questions

and one by one, you lied to me.
Took it in turns to protect each other,
in the name of saving me.
Told each other 'don't tell her,'
weaving a large expanse of falseness.

So when I finally had good news,

like a pure gem in the murky sea,
it was swamped by the dirt.

Intuition had warned me

as I asked myself
'was I right to push ahead, regardless'
always thinking of others, impatiently.

And when I found out the lies,

I was not protected as you thought.
I saw the deceit when you were caught.

copyright@emmasharn2010