Dvs Teen Program Curriculum 2012

educate, engage & inspire
Teens to be safe and

experience healthy
relationships

Prevention Education Curriculum
6-Week Workshop
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SOLUTIONS
FOR SANTA BARBARA COUNTY

2 | P a g e T: 805-564-4488 | Email: teenservices@dvsolutions.org | Web: www.dvsolutions.org |HOTLINE 805-964-5245
2012Domestic Violence Solutions

Week 1:

Obj ectives:
1. Create mutual first agreements:
2. How to show each other respect
3. Create a safe honest space for sharing
4. Conduct personal interview
5. Identify personal topics
6. Understand mandatory reporting
Agenda:
1. Sign-in Sheet
2. Introduction
3. Pre-Survey
4. Mutual First Agreements
5. Mandated Reporting
6. Make It Real Activity
7. Interview Activity
Tools:
x Pre-surveys
x Big paper or Dry erase
x Color Markers or Dry erase markers
x Sign-in Sheet
x Interview Worksheet
x Pencils

1. SI GN-I N SHE E T

2. I NTRODUCTI ON: 5 MI N
Educator introduces himself or herself with a personal story to express the importance of understanding what can
be ugly about LOVE and what can be amazing about LOVE. Give brief overview of 6-week workshop series.
Explain how each student will have an opportunity to practice, play interactive games, and apply new learning to
their own life.

3. PRE-SURVE Y: 4 MI N
Administer pre-survey and collect

4. CRE AT E MUTUAL F I RST AGRE E MENTS: 7 MI N
Dialogue Startersthis is a very important first step not to be skipped.

x We will be discussing sensitive topics, how can we create a space that is safe for sharing, honesty, and openness?
x What do you need from me, and from each other, to make this a safe space to talk share and learn about our
relationships?
x Write Student responses on poster paper, facilitator notes, or something that can be brought back to the class for
the remainder of the workshops-making sure to cover all topics.
x Invite students to think past the concept oI 'respect to identifying specific examples of respect.

Mutual Agreement I deas:
x Show respect
x Listen to each other
x Be conscience of your words


x Cell phones/music off
x Arrive on time
x Free to possess and express individual opinions
x Confidentiality
x What is said here stays here
x Patience
x Be still and attentive while someone else is talking
x One person talks at a time
x Tell your truth and be honest

5. MANDATI NG REPORTI NG: 2 MI N
Now that we have created Mutual First Agreements that identify the behaviors for keeping this space safe.
When can confidentiality be broken? It is very important to clearly communicate to teens, ,I I think someone
might hurt you, or I think you might hurt yourself, I have to ask for help. But, I would never call for help
without talking with you ILUVW

6. MA K E I T RE AL ACTI VI T Y: 7 MI N
Invite teens and facilitators to stand in a circle. The facilitator ball park estimates the number of people in the
group that fit the statistic. Pick at random students who represent the statistic and have them step inside the circle.

ST ATISTI CS:
x Nationwide, one in five (1/5) high school students report being physically or sexually abused by a dating
partner.
x One in three (1/3) teens in Santa Barbara county report experiencing physical, emotional or sexual dating
violence.

7. I NT ERVI E W ACTI VI T Y: 25 MI N
If time is limited, focus on the questions relating to relationships. Students form pairs of two with someone they
don`t know or know well. Students have 4 minutes to interview their partner. Students re-join the larger group
and introduce their partner to the class.
COL L E CT: Name, Grade, and Age
F AMI LI Y LI F E: Who they live with, brothers/sisters etc
RE L ATI ONSHIP ST ATUS:
x Do they think the relationship is healthy/unhealthy and why
x What is something you want to learn from this class?
BUI LDI NG SE L F UP:
x Favorite after-school interest
x One thing I`m great at

Make sure to take notes, so you can come back to important themes.


Week 2:

Obj ectives:
1. Identify Ugly/Awesome Relationship qualities
2. Define Dating Violence
3. Identify different forms of dating violence

Agenda:
1. Sign-in Sheet
2. Check-in
4. Review Mutual First Agreements
5. Review Student-Generated Topic List from personal interviews
6. Activity: Create Ugly/Awesome Relationship Quality Lists
a. Define Dating Violence
b. Define the different forms of Dating Violence
Tools:
x Sign-in Sheet
x Mutual First Agreement from last week
x Student-Generated topic list from last week
x Paper, Pencils, Candy

1. SI GN-I N SHE E T

2. CHE C K-I NS: 5 MI N
Weeks 2-6 check-ins will be geared toward buildinJSDUWLFLSDQWVVHOIHVWHHP
x What is awesome about me? List some gifts, talents, skills, and abilities.

Get everyone to stand in a circle, including the facilitators. The facilitator ball park estimates the number of people in the

ST ATISTI CS:
x One in three (1/3) American LGBT teens report experiencing dating violence. Teens of all ages, boys and gi rls
can both be victims and abusers, rich and poor, gay and st raight. Dating violence hits everyone equally.

x Seven out of ten (7/10) pregnant and parenting teens nationwide report experiencing dating violence.

4. RE VI E W F I RST MUTUAL AGRE E MENTS: 2 MI N
Be Mindful
x Ask the students to recall some of the Mutual First Agreements. Keep the list visible.

5. RE VI E W STUDENT-GENERAT ED T OPI C LIST: 2 MI N
Be Mindful
x Read aloud student-generated topics

6. UGL Y/ AWESOME ACTI VI T Y: 28 MI N
Group Activity/Dialog Starter

Rationale: This exercise is intended to be used to solidify your perceptions of relationship expectations and deal-breakers.
Teens who can identify awesome, healthy relationship qualities are more likely to choose a healthy relationship, and be


able to identify unhealthy (or ugly) and abusive relationships.

x Split the students into two groups.
x Have each group brainstorm Ugly or Awesome qualities of a dating partner.
o Categorize 'Ugly qualities into: emotional/verbal, physical, and sexual, and digital.
o 'Digital drama includes mean tweeting, sexting, de-friending, and cyber bullying.
x Encourage and challenge students to identify as many as 20 qualities for each.
x Task each group to choose one or more qualities and create a role-play to show us what that quality looks like in
relationship.
x Come back as one group and share each list and perform role play.

DE F I NE DOMESTI C VI OL ENCE: 2 MI N
Be Mindful
x Why is dating violence sometimes called intimate partner violence (IPV)?
o IPV is more inclusive because abuse can exist between dating partners, exes, co-habitors.
o Intimate partner violence occurs in all types of relationships no matter their age, race, ethnicity,
socioeconomic stats, region, ability, sexual orientation or gender expression.
o It has been estimated that IPV occurs at the same rate in both heterosexual and homosexual
relationships.

9. DEBUNK I NG MY T HS: 6 MI N
Dialog Starter/Be Mindful
x Pose questions to push back the notion that abuse is just physical and is an isolated incident.
x Questions to include:
o What is the easiest form of dating violence to identify?
o Which form of violence happens first?
o What is the most harmful kind of abuse?
o Do you think the forms of violence are isolated from one another?
o What is the most difficult form of dating violence to spot?
o Why do you think we made this list?
o Why is it important?

x Keep in mind that sometimes people take physical and sexual violence more seriously than verbal violence, when
it can have a greater impact.
x Without communication skills it can be easy to become verbally abusive even iI you`re not aware you`re being
verbally abusive.

x Verbal Violence PSA:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/video/2008/dec/02/advertising-domestic-violence


Week 3:

Obj ectives:
1. Identify specific warning signs and behaviors of dating violence
2. Dating Quiz: Is my relationship healthy?
3. Become familiar with relationship rights

Agenda:
1. Sign-in Sheet
2. Check-in
4. Review
5. Dating Quiz
6. Warning Signs
7. Read Your Rights
8. Pop Culture Activity *

Tools:
x Sign-in Sheet
x Mutual First Agreements
x Dating Quizzes
x Scrap Paper
x Pop Culture Activity

1. SI GN-I N SHE E T:

2. CHE C K-I N: 5 MI N Weeks 2-6 check-ins will be geared toward building SDUWLFLSDQWVVHlf esteem
x What is a healthy habit you do for yourself?


ST ATISTI CS:
x One in six (1/6) women have experienced an attempted or completed rape.
o One in 33 (3%) men have experienced an attempted or completed rape. Discuss why men report rape
significantly less often.
x Three out of ten (3/10) teens said their partner had contacted them via cell phone or text messages to constantly
check in on them, harass or ask them to engage in unwanted sexual activity.

4. RE VI E W PAST WE E KS: 5 MI N
x Review past weeks with students
x Have students turn to each other and recall one mutual first agreement and something they remember from last
week, something they learned or otherwise found interesting or are still have curious about.

5. DATI NG QUI Z: 5 MI N
Interactive Activity

Rationale: By listing warning signs of abusive relationship, the dating quiz allows youth to self examine their own
relationships and/or ideas of what love is.


x Pass out dating quizzes
x Have student read through the quiz.
x Indicate on a separate piece of paper a checked` statement with the corresponding number.
x Keep papers anonymous.
x Collect anonymous papers, shuffle and return.
x Survey the group: 'How many have statement I listed? And discuss.

6. WARNI NG SI GNS: 8 MI N
Must Know/Be Mindful

x The behaviors on the dating quizzes are, in fact, serious red flag warning signs.
x These are behaviors to ask for help about.
x These behaviors are not isolated and they tend to escalate.
x Can you think of any other warning signs that a relationship is unhealthy?
x Can you think of any relationship on TV or in the movies that portrayed the signs from the quiz?

7. RE AD Y OUR RI GHTS: 8 MI N
Dialog Starter
x Have students read over their relationship rights
x Each student picks their personal top 3 and explains why.
x Do these rights seem fair?

8. POP CUL TURE ACTI VI T Y: 20 MI N
Group Activity

Rationale: Dating violence is romanticized in the media and without adequate education the portrayal of these
relationships can be especially influential for these without relational experience i.e. youth. Using pop culture references,
we can tackle the promulgating of romanticized or normalized abusive relationships.

*This activity will change according to the audience, current and relevant topics, and general group enthusiasm.

ROMANI TI ZI NG DATI NG VI OL ENCE I N T WI LI GHT OR L YRI C ACTI VI T Y
Group Activity
Rationale: Given the extensive popularity of the Twilight series the relationship lends itself perfectly to be used as an
example of a normalized and romanticized abusive relationship.
x Use the relationship between Bella and Edward to tell a story of two unnamed teens
x Include controlling and condescending behaviors depicted in the series, incidents of obsession, talks of
death and suicide, warnings of danger, stalking, feelings of fear, inadequacy.
x Have students guess who this story is really about.
x Judging by the engagement of the students, the truth can be withheld.

L YRI C ACTI VI T Y
The song can be changed according to what`s popular or what artists/songs the students like.
x Hand out song lyrics
x Break students into small groups, giving each group a portion of the lyric
x Ask each group to read/sing lyric and identify warning signs
x Can this be harmful? Why?
x Discuss the signiIicance oI the words and students` response to hearing the lyrics

*The materi al for this week can someti mes be difficult for students. This provides an opportuni ty for refer ral, if necessary. You can check


back i n with the counselor or advisor facilitating the group in case anythi ng comes up with students duri ng the group discussion. Also, check
in with any students that you see may be struggling with this material after the group ends. Ask student`s permission if you decide to bri ng
their story into next week`s discussion in an effort to support that student and also normalize the issue.

Week 4:

Obj ectives:
1. Understanding the cycle of violence

Agenda:
1. Sign-in Sheet
2. Check-in
4. Review
5. Cycle of Violence
6. Breathing Exercise

Tools:
x Sign-in Sheet
x Mutual First Agreements
x Cycle of Violence Image Printed out

1. CHE C K-I N: 5 MI N Weeks 2-6 check-LQVZLOOEHJHDUHGWRZDUGEXLOGLQJSDUWLFLSDQWVVHOIHVWHHP
x What is your favorite body part?


ST ATISTI CS:
x Three out of ten (3/10) teens said their partner had contacted them via cell phone or text messages to constantly
check in on them, harass or ask them to engage in unwanted sexual activity.

x Half (1/2) of the youth reporting both dating violence and rape also report attempting suicide. Significantly
increased from teen suicide rate.

3. RE VI E W: 8 MI N
x In pairs, have students ask each other what they remembered from last week or found interesting and if they have
any questions.

4. CY CL E OF VI OL ENCE: 25 MI N
Group Activity

Rationale: To understand the cycle oI violence students will create a story one stage at a time, build on each other`s input
to the story and recreate the cycle.


Create a detailed fictional dating situation. Give the characters names, back stories, etc. The details of the story can come
from personal experiences, friend or family members, or TV/Movies.
a. Challenge: Don`t always make the male the aggressor, and don`t always make it a heterosexual couple.
b. Divide the class into three groups: honeymoon, tension building and explosion. Have students act out the
fictional story at each of the three stages of the relationship.
c. Starting with the honeymoon stage, have the students tell the story. Who is involved, what their
relationship is like, how long they`ve been dating, what makes the relationship so special. What is so
magical about the honeymoon stage? How was love shown in this stage?
d. The other two groups listen; they will be responsible for elaborating.
e. Stay on each group long enough to get details.
f. Tension building stage: What does that look like? What are the behaviors of each person? What does it
mean to live like your walking on eggshells? How is tension felt? How long does it continue? How are
little miscommunications dealt with during this stage? What is each person feeling?
g. Explosion Stage: What happened? What form/s of abuse was inflicted? When? Why? Was there anyone
else involved? Were the authorities called? Were there any consequences?
h. Go through the cycle at least two times

Be Mindful
*Unli ke an act of violence between strangers or acquaintances, intimate partner violence, exists within a cycle. This
is one of the reasons why leaving an unhealthy relationship is so difficult to do. The cycle of violence is a conceptual
understanding of the behaviors of those in an unhealthy relationship.

6. BRE AT HI NG E XCERISE/Y OGA/ T HAI CHI : 7 MI N
Group Activity

Rationale: It takes a lot of energy and focus to stay present throughout this workshop, using these last moments to
decompress and separate the workshop from the rest of the day will allow students to revisit this subject easier next week.
x Close our eyes.
x Focus just on your breathing.
x Take note of the air going in through your nose, fill up your lungs and leave your mouth.
x As you take in air, imagine the air healing your body and as it leaves imagine it cleansing.
x Let all the ugliness of today leave with the air. Repeat a few times.


Week 5:

Obj ectives:
1. Identify obstacles to leaving
2. Creating a Safety Plan and Community Resources
3. Rules for Fighting Fair

Agenda:
1. Sign-in Sheet
2. Check-in
4. Review
5. Obstacles to Leaving
6. Safety Planning
7. Resources
8. Rules for Fighting Fair

Tools:
x Sign-in Sheet
x Safety Planning Worksheet


2. CHE C K-I N: 5 MI N Weeks 2-6 check-LQVZLOOEHJHDUHGWRZDUGEXLOGLQJSDUWLFLSDQWVVHOIHVWHHP
x How do you manage stress in a healthy way?


ST ATISTI CS:
x Six out of ten (6/10) teens know someone who has been physically, sexually or verbally abusive in a dating
relationship.

x Nine out of ten (9/10) teenage sexual assault victims know their attacker.

x Does anyone remember what we covered last time? Are there any questions? Has anything come up since then?

5. OBST ACL ES T O L E AVI NG: 10 MI N
Dialogue Starterbreak teens up into small groups and have them brainstorm.

x Using the story teens created yesterday, what are potential obstacles to leaving?
x What made it difficult for the survivor to leave? What would have helped?
x What made it difficult for the abuser to leave? What was going on in the abuser`s liIe to make them unable to see
their unhealthy behaviors and seek help?
x Collect student ideas and discuss why each reason is important.


Be Mindful
x Obstacles to leaving an abusive dating relationship include: The cyclic nature of dating violence,
habit/comfortable, addiction to honeymoon stage, rebellion against family and/or friends, having a protector,
believing you can change them, don`t want to start all over with someone else new, aIraid that every relationship
will end up the same way, feeling at fault, having children together (70% of pregnant teens experience dating
violence), threats of harm to him/herself, to you or to your loved ones, the examples that have been set in our own
homes, love, no support system.

x In cases of queer dating violence, the threat of outing is unique. Abusive partners could use outing as a threat, 'iI
you leave me, I will tell everyone that you`re gay. Also, LGBT survivors may have a diIIicult time accessing
resources, service providers may turn them down or people may not take LGBT domestic violence
seriously.women don`t hit each other 'a Iight between men is a Iair Iight

6. SAF E T Y PL ANNI NG AND COMMUNI T Y RESOURCES: 10 MI N
Interactive Activity

Rationale: Safety planning is one of the most important things anyone can do in an unhealthy relationship. Studies show
that the likelihood of violent retaliation grows dramatically if the survivor leaves or threatens to leave. Therefore knowing
what your plan is when one decides to end an unhealthy relationship is very important.

x Using the story we created in the Cycle of Violence Activity, fill out the safety planning worksheet as a group.
x Touch on key elements:
o School
o Emotional
o Home
o Social

7. 7. NAMI NG RESOURCES AND CRE AT E CONT ACT SHE E T:
Individual Activity

Rationale: Articulating exact and real potential resources will keep at-risk students ready. Pass around contact sheet with
teens` names and contact information. Make copies of this sheet to hand-out next week.

8. Write down on a paper your personal resources; the name and number of one trustworthy adult.
9. Write down the hot line and counseling number as well as 911.
10. Go over relevant resources. Information on separate sheet.

8. RUL ES F OR F I GHTI NG F AI R: 15 MI N
Dialogue Starter

Rationale: Conflict, miscommunication and disagreements are inevitably going to arise in relationships. The challenge is
learning how to deal with conflict in an effective and productive way. In fact, learning how to productively work through
them can be empowering and can strengthen a relationship.
x What do you think some rules for fighting fair are?
x What are behaviors that we engage in when we talk through a conflict?
x Have teens break into small groups, give each teen 2 rules for fighting fair below and ask them to show the group
what it looks like to break the rule and what it looks like to follow the rule.

x NO DE GRADI NG L ANGUAGE


Avoid name-calling, insults, put-downs or swearing.

x NO BL AMI NG
It`s pointless to blame each other. Blaming your spouse distracts you from solving the problem at hand. It invites your
spouse to be defensive and it escalates the argument.

x NO Y E L LI NG
Yelling only escalates things. Make a conscious effort to lower your voice. Chances are nothing will get resolved when
your emotions are running so high. II you`re mad and Ieel like yelling, then it`s time to step away and cool down

x NO USE OF F ORCE
It includes punching a hole in a wall, throwing things or breaking something in anger. Acting out your anger in these ways
violates the other person`s boundaries and sense oI saIety.

x NO T AL K OF BRE A K I NG UP
In the heat of an argument, threatening to leave the relationship is manipulative and hurtful. It creates anxiety about being
abandoned and undermines your ability to resolve your issues. It makes the problems in your relationship seem much
bigger than they need to be.

x DE F I NE Y OURSE L F, NOT YOUR PARTNER
Use words that describe how you feel, and what you want and need, not what your partner feels, wants, or believes.

x ST AY I N T HE PRESENT
Try to keep your focus on what can be done today to resolve the issue at hand and go forward from there. If you get off-
topic, on to other issues, stop yourselves and agree to get back on track. You can always come back to other issues later.

x T A K E TURNS SPE A K I NG
Let one person speak at a time. When one speaks, the other should be listeningreally listening, not just planning their
rebuttal. Take turns speaking and listening so that you both have a chance to say what you need.

x WHEN NE CESSARY, USE TI ME-OUTS
A time-out is a short break to cool off, calm down and get perspective. Think of it like pushing the pause button on a
video. Think about how to express yourselI in a positive way. Try to think about the other person`s Ieelings and point of
view. Think things through before you speak. A time-out should be at least a half-hour long but no longer than 24 hours.
It`s surprising how diIIerent a person`s outlook can be aIter they`ve had a chance to calm down.


Week 6:

Objective:
1. Questions Answered
2. Review
3. Gratitude Circle

Agenda:
1. Sign-in Sheet
2. Check-in
4. Review
5. Post-Survey
6. Contact Sheet
7. Dating Right Pledge
8. Gratitude Circle
9. Post-Group Reminder

Tools:
x Sign-in Sheet
x Contact Sheet Copies
x Bracelets
x Dating Right Pledge
x Post-Survey


2. CHE C K-I N: 5 MI N
x Name one hobby you love


ST ATISTI CS:
x Eight out of ten (8/10) parents either believe that teen dating violence is not an issue or admit that they don`t
know iI it`s an issue

x Over half (6/10) parents admit that they have never spoken to their child about teen dating violence

x Review last week and then continue with a more complete review.
x Types of abuse
o What are the three kinds of abuse?
o Let`s come up with 5 examples oI each together
o Be sure to include screaming and grabbing, mood swings, jealous all the time,
isolation, threats to self and others, manipulation.
x Relationship Rights
o What are your relationship rights?
x Warning Signs


o What are some of the warning signs of unhealthy relationships?
Jealousy, Controlling behavior, isolation, doesn`t respect privacy/property, overly sensitive.
x Communication
What does good communication look like?
What does bad communication look like?
Identify four characteristics of each
Be sure to emphasize that it is okay to disagree, what matters is how you disagree.
x Safely Leaving Relationships
What are six reasons why it can be hard to leave?
What are some things you can do to safely exit a relationship?
x Further Questions:
Do you think rich people or poor people have more dating violence?
Do you think that straight or gay people have more dating violence?
Do you think educated or non-educated people have more dating violence?
x 1 in 3 teens in SB County experience abuse, and it doesn`t matter what race, religion, culture, level oI wealth,
sexuality, level of education, or anything like that you are. It affects everyone equally.

5. CONT ACT SHE E T:
x Handout contact sheet.
x This sheet is to be used to continue to support each other even after our weekly meetings conclude.

6. POST SURVE Y: 5 MI N
x The survey is very important so that we can learn more about your experience with this workshop.

7. GRATI TUDE CI RCL E: 20 MI N
Group Activity

Rationale: After sharing so intimately, it is every important to allow space for gratitude and a measure of closure.

x Educator honors each student by saying something they found special, respectable or admirable about each
student and their contribution to the workshop. Hand out purple What is LOVE bracelet to each teen.
x Starting in a large circle, students take turns thanking one other student. With each student, everyone takes one
step towards the middle.
x After everyone has been thanked, everyone will be standing shoulder to shoulder.
x We all affect each other. This circle is, and will always be, a resource. We can support each other just as we are,
without dominating or possessing.

END OF WORKSHOP

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Teens to be safe and

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