I awoke to a loud banging noise.

It took me a few seconds, in my half-asleep state, to register that this was quite unusual, in that it wasn't accompanied by my mother's voice yelling "Get up, dammit!" No, the bangs were aggressive and rhythmic, and it certainly didn't seem like it was just someone trying to wake me. In fact, it looked like someone was trying to get in. I sat up too fast and felt a rush of dizziness. I was wide awake now, watching my door shake and shift with each pound. Quickly, I decided I wasn't going to let some punkass burglar kick in my goddamned door. I angrily dragged my hungover ass out of bed, unlocked and opened the door with shaky hands. The first thing I noticed about the man in the hall was that he was dressed very well. He was wearing a fitted, black baseball shirt and slim, knee-length gray shorts. I only very briefly stopped to appreciate the way this attire showed off his toned, muscular arms and legs, because the next thing I noticed was that he was covered in blood. It dripped from his badly broken nose, onto his lips and down his chin, where some had already dried. His shirt and shorts were soaked in it, the fabric stained dark brown from his stomach to his thighs. My eyes widened and I unintentionally staggered backward, and when I happened to notice, out of the corner of my eye, an axe leaning against the door frame, fear took over entirely and I slammed the door shut.

Kommentar [JS1]: The mother seemed pretty aggressive as well, so no real difference there? Kommentar [JS2]: You are talking about a noise, so look like is probably not ideal here. Kommentar [JS3]: Is he/she dizzy or wide awake? Kommentar [JS4]: Still does not feel like being wide awake.

Kommentar [JS5]: This doesnt feel very believable. The blood, especially in the face, should definitely have been the most conspicuous thing about this person. Kommentar [JS6]: Since he/she is staggering backwards, back into the room, it feels more natural to assume that an axe inside the room is noticed rather than one outside?