1

00:00:33,339 --> 00:00:35,069

- Hi. Hi, hi.
- Hey.
2
00:00:35,205 --> 00:00:36,297
- You must be...
- Bill.
3
00:00:36,439 --> 00:00:37,428
- Yeah.
- Hi.
4
00:00:37,574 --> 00:00:39,474
Hi. Becky. Hi.
5
00:00:40,777 --> 00:00:44,713
Thanks for having dinner so early.
I know it's... it's a pain.
6
00:00:44,848 --> 00:00:47,282
No, that's, that's...
7
00:00:48,185 --> 00:00:49,846
Interesting crowd.
8
00:00:51,321 --> 00:00:53,186
Yeah. My job is the problem.
9
00:00:53,323 --> 00:00:55,120
I'm... I work at
Good Morning, New Jersey and...
10
00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:58,352
- Right, on channel nine. Right?
- Right. Yeah.
11
00:00:58,495 --> 00:01:01,953
So, yeah, we're on really early, so I...
I go to bed really early and
12
00:01:02,098 --> 00:01:05,295
we used to be on at, 5am,
but then we got bought by this
13
00:01:05,435 --> 00:01:07,665
giant company and they wanted
to run us instead of infomercials.

14
00:01:07,804 --> 00:01:10,830
'Cause we generate
slightly more revenue and...
15
00:01:10,974 --> 00:01:12,703
Now we're on at four.
16
00:01:13,777 --> 00:01:16,678
Sorry, I'm gonna turn this off.
It's so...
17
00:01:16,813 --> 00:01:20,647
Sorry. That's like, oh, my God,
that's so annoying
18
00:01:20,784 --> 00:01:22,877
when people do this.
It's like, "check, please."
19
00:01:24,221 --> 00:01:28,715
I'm not gonna touch this...
ever again. Sorry.
20
00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:32,727
No, that's, it's... it's OK.
21
00:01:32,863 --> 00:01:33,921
It's OK.
22
00:01:36,399 --> 00:01:37,559
I...
23
00:01:37,701 --> 00:01:40,465
I'm... I'm really glad that
you picked this place. I...
24
00:01:40,604 --> 00:01:44,506
You know, it kind of reminds me
of Matthews in Waldwick.
25
00:01:44,641 --> 00:01:48,168
They have the most amazing, like,
delicious, thick, big, juicy...
26
00:01:49,179 --> 00:01:52,615
Lots of Belgian waffles

and syrup in the...

27
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:54,876
And...
28
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,951
Anyway... boring!
29
00:02:01,224 --> 00:02:02,691
What do you do?
30
00:02:02,826 --> 00:02:04,384
- Anna told me you're in...
- Marketing.
31
00:02:04,527 --> 00:02:06,222
- Right.
- For an insurance company,
32
00:02:06,363 --> 00:02:10,299
and I dabble in ceramics, but...
33
00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,434
Take it.
34
00:02:13,403 --> 00:02:17,032
Sorry, it's... I... This is my boss.
35
00:02:17,173 --> 00:02:18,970
- Go ahead. Take it.
- Really?
36
00:02:19,109 --> 00:02:21,134
- Yeah.
- OK, great, thanks.
37
00:02:21,278 --> 00:02:22,905
Just be a sec. Promise.
38
00:02:23,046 --> 00:02:25,879
Hi! Yeah, yeah.
39
00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:28,348
I left three messages
for his attorney. I don't know.
40

00:02:28,485 --> 00:02:31,249

If he doesn't call me back, I'm gonna...
I'll wait outside his office.
41
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,397
- Good morning, Becky.
- 'Night, Jim.
42
00:02:45,535 --> 00:02:48,197
Good morning, New Jersey,
it's 2am.
43
00:02:48,338 --> 00:02:50,602
We cover the Garden State
from corner to corner.
44
00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:53,106
...the perfect alternative...
45
00:02:56,212 --> 00:02:58,737
New Jersey Transit is reporting
a 20-minute delay...
46
00:02:58,882 --> 00:03:01,612
...come out in support
of your local eateries.
47
00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:02,979
Powerball Lottery Jackpot...
48
00:03:03,119 --> 00:03:04,484
Right in the base...
49
00:03:04,621 --> 00:03:07,351
Yes, but I did it in
a really adorable way.
50
00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:09,788
Rent a mini-rig. Cheaper and we can
get closer to the action.
51
00:03:09,926 --> 00:03:12,156
I was thinking we'd get someone
in the winner's circle.
52
00:03:12,295 --> 00:03:13,489
A piata?
You can do the piata?

53
00:03:13,630 --> 00:03:15,029
- I can do it.
- Yeah? OK.
54
00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:19,092
- Four... three...
- Thank you, thank you.
55
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:32,810
Ready to dissolve to jib.
Jib, ready to make your move.
56
00:03:32,949 --> 00:03:34,940
Ten seconds to air,
everybody.
57
00:03:35,085 --> 00:03:37,781
Ready to roll track
and fade up under one.
58
00:03:37,921 --> 00:03:40,651
...three, two... one.
59
00:03:40,790 --> 00:03:42,280
Roll track and fade up under one.
60
00:03:46,997 --> 00:03:49,295
Good morning, New Jersey.
4:38 if you're just waking up.
61
00:03:49,432 --> 00:03:50,956
A quick look at traffic now.
62
00:03:51,101 --> 00:03:53,296
Holland Tunnel is backed up
'cause of an overturned big rig
63
00:03:53,436 --> 00:03:54,562
in the right and center lanes.
64
00:03:54,704 --> 00:03:58,162
Officials say this should be cleared up
in about an hour.
65
00:03:58,308 --> 00:04:00,435
So then, expect delays

from Ridgefield Park.

66
00:04:00,577 --> 00:04:02,841
- But until then, you should...
- Is that snoring?
67
00:04:02,979 --> 00:04:05,243
Jesus. Not again. Can you
go to the single of Ralph?
68
00:04:05,382 --> 00:04:06,644
- Harry, Harry.
- The Deko!
69
00:04:06,783 --> 00:04:08,216
- Wrong lower third!
- The Deko!
70
00:04:08,351 --> 00:04:11,582
...the hidden dangers
that could be in your home.
71
00:04:11,721 --> 00:04:14,849
All that and a look at sports
at the top of the hour.
72
00:04:14,991 --> 00:04:16,583
Stick with us here
at Good Morning, New Jersey.
73
00:04:16,726 --> 00:04:17,886
Oh, my God.
74
00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:19,928
- Nice shot. You're a stud.
- No problemo.
75
00:04:20,063 --> 00:04:22,361
Rain will fall
when you go to the mall
76
00:04:22,499 --> 00:04:24,865
Later will clear,
the sun will appear
77
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:27,196
Overnight low is 50
Move your rear

78
00:04:27,337 --> 00:04:29,362
Hey, ho, whoo
79
00:04:30,106 --> 00:04:31,368
- Hey.
- Hi.
80
00:04:31,508 --> 00:04:34,841
Hey, I talked to Raymond in HR.
He said the company's reorganizing
81
00:04:34,978 --> 00:04:39,438
all the stations and they've budgeted
us for a new senior producer.
82
00:04:40,517 --> 00:04:44,214
They pulled your employment records.
You're getting it, Becky.
83
00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:46,754
You're finally getting the job.
84
00:04:49,626 --> 00:04:53,187
Hey, kiddo, can you come by my office
after the show?
85
00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:56,162
- Oh, me.
- No, not me, you.
86
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,056
Yes.
87
00:05:02,639 --> 00:05:06,541
The puppy, a Chinese crested is worth
over $600 and answers to the...
88
00:05:06,676 --> 00:05:08,371
Make your move, jib,
make your move...
89
00:05:08,511 --> 00:05:11,708
And in Newark today,
police arrested 12 members of...
90
00:05:20,657 --> 00:05:22,989

What? What's going on?

What is that?
91
00:05:23,126 --> 00:05:24,991
We thought you might need this.
92
00:05:25,128 --> 00:05:27,756
That better not be a box of condoms
again and I didn't even use the old one.
93
00:05:27,897 --> 00:05:30,058
No, you're gonna use this.
94
00:05:33,069 --> 00:05:34,058
Oh, my God.
95
00:05:34,204 --> 00:05:35,728
- Congratulations.
- Congrats.
96
00:05:35,872 --> 00:05:37,237
That's so sweet.
97
00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:49,375
Becky, we have to let you go.
98
00:05:49,519 --> 00:05:52,079
I'm really sorry about this, kiddo.
99
00:05:52,222 --> 00:05:54,782
Corporate wants us
to reduce our overhead.
100
00:05:54,924 --> 00:05:58,416
We're having to make big cuts and they
want me to hire a senior producer
101
00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:01,291
with more business experience to
manage the contraction of the show.
102
00:06:01,431 --> 00:06:03,661
But wait a second. You told them
you can't do that, right?
103
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,928
Because I... I've been here so long

and I've worked so hard.

104
00:06:07,070 --> 00:06:08,833
His name is Chip.
105
00:06:08,972 --> 00:06:12,533
He's... Chip starts Monday.
106
00:06:12,675 --> 00:06:15,735
He has an M.B.A. and
a journalism degree from Columbia.
107
00:06:15,879 --> 00:06:19,440
They're grooming him to run
the whole station in a few years.
108
00:06:19,582 --> 00:06:24,747
In the meantime, I can't afford
to keep you both.
109
00:06:26,189 --> 00:06:28,817
- Becky, look, I'm really...
- Oh, shit.
110
00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:32,951
Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Shitty...
111
00:06:33,096 --> 00:06:36,998
Becky, I... I'm so sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
112
00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:40,296
- I fought them as hard as I could.
- There's lots of terrific
113
00:06:40,436 --> 00:06:44,338
opportunities out there, you know?
I mean, look at Chip. He got one.
114
00:06:44,474 --> 00:06:47,375
So maybe this is just the push
I need, you know?
115
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:50,809
So it can get me to the next level,
maybe even to a network or...

116
00:06:50,947 --> 00:06:53,177
- Yeah.
- I mean, it's not like
117
00:06:53,316 --> 00:06:56,046
it's my whole life.
It's only work, right?
118
00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:03,951
Did you get any severance?
119
00:07:06,729 --> 00:07:08,924
There were some budgetary cuts
last year,
120
00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:12,034
so they weren't really offering.
121
00:07:12,235 --> 00:07:15,136
But I have feelers out. Lots.
122
00:07:15,271 --> 00:07:17,535
- Yeah, great.
- Honey, you think the Today show
123
00:07:17,674 --> 00:07:20,700
is gonna call you up and hand you a job,
you have since you were eight,
124
00:07:20,843 --> 00:07:23,778
- and it's not gonna happen.
- I don't, I know that, I do, I get it.
125
00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:27,371
This is partly my fault. I...
126
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:31,248
I let your father get your hopes up.
127
00:07:31,387 --> 00:07:35,756
He was not a happy person,
let's face it.
128
00:07:35,892 --> 00:07:38,759
When he saw you aim high, he started
to feel better about himself,

129
00:07:38,895 --> 00:07:41,489
- so I never said anything.
- What are you saying?
130
00:07:41,631 --> 00:07:44,225
You had a dream, you know? Great.
131
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,131
When you were eight, it was adorable.
132
00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:50,103
When you were 18, it was inspiring.
133
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,801
At 28, it's officially embarrassing.
134
00:07:55,044 --> 00:07:59,481
And I just want you to stop
before we get to heartbreaking.
135
00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:25,474
The troops are involved in proJects...
136
00:08:25,608 --> 00:08:27,473
Waiting arrival...
137
00:08:29,045 --> 00:08:31,570
On my BlackBerry,
it shows that you got my e-mail,
138
00:08:31,714 --> 00:08:36,151
so I was just wondering if... Yeah,
it shows when someone's opened it.
139
00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:37,275
Hello?
140
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:38,717
Becky Fuller. Yeah.
141
00:08:38,855 --> 00:08:41,722
I wanted to make sure that you got
the resume that I e-mailed you.
142
00:08:41,858 --> 00:08:42,847
You did. Great.

143
00:08:42,992 --> 00:08:45,961
Becky Fuller again.
I was just wondering if...
144
00:08:46,729 --> 00:08:48,629
Yes, I did call yesterday,
but I updated my resume last night
145
00:08:48,765 --> 00:08:49,789
and thought you might...
146
00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:53,095
I'm calling because I was
checking up on the position
147
00:08:53,236 --> 00:08:55,033
and I was wondering if it had been...
148
00:09:00,176 --> 00:09:02,041
- Hi, Becky Fuller.
- Hi.
149
00:09:02,178 --> 00:09:05,341
Hi, this is Jerry Barnes calling
from IBS in New York. How are you?
150
00:09:06,182 --> 00:09:08,480
- Good.
- Terrific. Listen, I'm calling
151
00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:12,554
'cause I received your resume,
all five of them, actually.
152
00:09:12,689 --> 00:09:13,883
And it Just so happens,
153
00:09:14,023 --> 00:09:16,321
that we're looking for somebody
at the moment.
154
00:09:16,459 --> 00:09:17,653
I'll take it.
155
00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:20,160
Well, wait, I haven't

told you what it is yet.

156
00:09:20,296 --> 00:09:22,025
- Sorry.
- Well, our morning show
157
00:09:22,165 --> 00:09:23,792
- has a vacancy and so...
- I'll take it!
158
00:09:23,933 --> 00:09:27,130
We're interviewing a bunch of people.
Maybe you can come in
159
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,760
- and we can have a talk.
- Sure! Absolutely.
160
00:09:28,905 --> 00:09:31,669
Just tell me where to go
and who to talk to.
161
00:09:31,808 --> 00:09:35,209
OK, I'll get you an e-mail with the
details of where we are in the city.
162
00:09:35,345 --> 00:09:37,336
- Sorry!
- And shall we say 3:00?
163
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,879
Thank you, thank you!
164
00:09:54,230 --> 00:09:57,791
Oscar says you're very talented
and you work incredibly hard.
165
00:09:57,934 --> 00:10:01,836
Says you're the most promising
producer that he's ever fired.
166
00:10:01,971 --> 00:10:05,236
Well, that's, that's good. I think.
167
00:10:05,608 --> 00:10:07,439
So you're a fan
of our morning program?

168
00:10:07,577 --> 00:10:11,536
- Yeah, I think it has so many...
- Yeah, yeah, we know it's terrible.
169
00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:15,777
Perpetually in fourth place behind
the Today show, Good Morning America
170
00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:17,852
and that thing on CBS,
whatever it's called.
171
00:10:17,987 --> 00:10:20,319
It's a source of constant humiliation.
172
00:10:20,456 --> 00:10:24,051
Last year, in the network softball
league, the CBS team wore hats
173
00:10:24,193 --> 00:10:25,956
that said,
"At least we're not Daybreak."
174
00:10:26,095 --> 00:10:30,862
The anchors of the show
are difficult and semi-talented.
175
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,332
- I think Colleen Peck is a pro.
- Heinous.
176
00:10:34,036 --> 00:10:37,199
- Paul McVee is a fine reporter.
- Foul.
177
00:10:38,608 --> 00:10:42,408
OK. Is Daybreak a shitty show? Yes.
178
00:10:42,545 --> 00:10:45,946
But it's on a network.
And not just any network.
179
00:10:46,082 --> 00:10:49,415
This is one of the most legendary
news divisions in the entire history
180
00:10:49,552 --> 00:10:52,043

of television! Daybreak just needs

someone who believes in it,
181
00:10:52,188 --> 00:10:55,419
who understands that a national
platform is an invaluable resource,
182
00:10:55,558 --> 00:10:59,324
that no story is too low
or too high to reach for!
183
00:10:59,729 --> 00:11:02,562
Are you gonna... sing?
184
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,360
Look, Mr. Barnes. Jerry.
185
00:11:06,502 --> 00:11:08,970
Daybreak's facilities are antiquated.
186
00:11:09,105 --> 00:11:13,098
It's understaffed, underfunded.
And the pay.
187
00:11:13,576 --> 00:11:14,565
It's awful, about half
188
00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:16,678
of what you made at
Hey, How The Hell Are You, New Jersey?
189
00:11:16,813 --> 00:11:20,271
You've never been an
executive producer. You're too young.
190
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:24,682
Nobody's ever heard of ya. And here,
your education, three, not four years,
191
00:11:24,821 --> 00:11:26,789
at Fairleigh Dickinson in Teaneck,
192
00:11:26,923 --> 00:11:31,383
also known as Fairly Ridiculous.
Did I miss anything?
193
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:37,097

Daybreak needs what I need,

194
00:11:37,233 --> 00:11:39,497
someone who believes
that it can succeed.
195
00:11:39,635 --> 00:11:42,695
Trust me, I know you don't
have any reason to believe in me,
196
00:11:42,839 --> 00:11:45,399
but I work harder than anyone else.
197
00:11:45,541 --> 00:11:47,133
I'm in first, I'm out last.
198
00:11:47,276 --> 00:11:49,904
I know a shitload more about the news
than someone whose daddy paid them
199
00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:52,446
to smoke bongs
and talk semiotics at Harvard
200
00:11:52,582 --> 00:11:55,608
and I devote myself completely
to my job. It's what I do.
201
00:11:55,751 --> 00:11:58,117
It's all I am. I...
202
00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:01,186
You can ask anyone.
203
00:12:02,425 --> 00:12:06,828
Well, that's... embarrassing.
204
00:12:10,199 --> 00:12:12,190
OK.
205
00:12:12,935 --> 00:12:14,459
Thanks for the tour,
206
00:12:14,604 --> 00:12:19,701
and... thanks for... for...
207

00:12:19,842 --> 00:12:21,241

Thanks.
208
00:12:34,657 --> 00:12:37,182
It's these buttons right here.
209
00:12:37,326 --> 00:12:40,887
Oh, lobby. Yes, thanks.
210
00:12:43,199 --> 00:12:45,133
Good day so far?
211
00:12:46,168 --> 00:12:48,602
I don't think so.
212
00:12:48,738 --> 00:12:51,332
I talked too much. Ruined it.
213
00:12:53,276 --> 00:12:54,538
Damn it.
214
00:13:04,820 --> 00:13:06,447
Sir.
215
00:13:08,758 --> 00:13:10,885
I am such a huge admirer of yours.
216
00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:15,225
I'm a... I'm a big, huge fan. I...
217
00:13:15,364 --> 00:13:18,162
My whole family watched you,
growing up. I...
218
00:13:18,301 --> 00:13:22,362
Of all the anchors, you were,
by far, the greatest reporter.
219
00:13:22,505 --> 00:13:26,066
I mean when you were
in Kosovo, I was in Kosovo.
220
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:28,608
- She work for you?
- No.
221

00:13:28,744 --> 00:13:31,042

I'm just here to teach her
how to use the elevator.
222
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,340
Are you done?
223
00:13:33,282 --> 00:13:35,716
Yes, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
224
00:13:35,851 --> 00:13:37,341
May I?
225
00:13:37,486 --> 00:13:38,578
Oh, God, sorry. I...
226
00:13:38,721 --> 00:13:41,019
Of course, of course.
227
00:13:41,157 --> 00:13:43,318
Oh, my God, I can't
believe I just met the...
228
00:13:43,459 --> 00:13:45,620
- Wait a second. You know him.
- Yes, I do know him.
229
00:13:45,761 --> 00:13:48,457
He's the third worst person
in the world.
230
00:14:06,616 --> 00:14:09,278
- Hello?
- Becky Fuller.
231
00:14:09,418 --> 00:14:12,182
- Yes?
- You sure you can do this Job?
232
00:14:12,321 --> 00:14:13,754
Yes.
233
00:14:13,889 --> 00:14:16,687
- You start on Monday.
- Thank you.
234
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,927

Yes, I am calling about

the one-bedroom.
235
00:14:28,070 --> 00:14:31,506
Yes, I'm moving into town.
I've got a new job.
236
00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:32,972
I'm extremely neat and tidy.
237
00:14:34,443 --> 00:14:36,934
In summer camp the kids used
to pay me to make their beds.
238
00:14:37,079 --> 00:14:39,547
Yeah.
Sorry, that was an overshare.
239
00:14:39,682 --> 00:14:41,343
No loud music. No kids.
240
00:14:41,484 --> 00:14:43,816
I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just me.
241
00:14:43,953 --> 00:14:45,978
I'll take it. I'll take it,
I'll take it.
242
00:15:01,437 --> 00:15:03,064
Sorry!
243
00:15:04,774 --> 00:15:06,469
Sorry!
244
00:15:08,044 --> 00:15:09,636
Sorry!
245
00:15:23,492 --> 00:15:25,756
Also, we'll have more
on the flooding in lowa.
246
00:15:25,895 --> 00:15:28,693
Finally, some good weather news
on the way for those folks.
247
00:15:28,831 --> 00:15:31,664

So please Join us tomorrow

and thank you for spending
248
00:15:31,801 --> 00:15:34,235
- your morning here at Daybreak.
- Take care, everyone.
249
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:36,463
- Are you interviewing at Daybreak?
- Goodbye.
250
00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:38,402
Assistant? Intern?
251
00:15:39,108 --> 00:15:41,872
No. Actually,
I'm the new executive producer.
252
00:15:42,011 --> 00:15:43,478
Another one?
253
00:15:46,816 --> 00:15:48,113
Don't unpack.
254
00:15:49,652 --> 00:15:52,212
Miss Fuller?
Lenny Bergman, Senior Producer.
255
00:15:52,354 --> 00:15:55,152
Yes. I know who you are.
256
00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:57,953
You started out at WABC.
You were at CBS for two years
257
00:15:58,094 --> 00:16:00,324
- and here for 13.
- Yeah, wow.
258
00:16:00,463 --> 00:16:03,261
- Here, let me, let me give you a hand.
- I just have one question.
259
00:16:03,399 --> 00:16:05,833
Why haven't they bumped you up?
260
00:16:05,968 --> 00:16:08,766

It's not for me. I did it

for a couple of weeks once,
261
00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:12,362
but they put me back at number two.
Apparently, the crying was distracting.
262
00:16:12,508 --> 00:16:14,237
You'll love it, though.
It's a great job.
263
00:16:14,376 --> 00:16:18,039
- Our morning meetings are at five.
- Isn't that kind of late?
264
00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:20,478
- Late?
- I mean, it's just that...
265
00:16:20,616 --> 00:16:24,108
I'm, I'm used to early hours, so...
266
00:16:24,253 --> 00:16:26,949
Well, maybe we should
try better doughnuts.
267
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:30,058
Excuse me. At the Today show,
268
00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:32,558
the senior staff is usually...
Hi. ...in by 4:30...
269
00:16:32,695 --> 00:16:35,391
We're just like the Today show,
except, you know, without the money,
270
00:16:35,531 --> 00:16:37,795
- viewers, respect. But very similar.
- OK.
271
00:16:37,933 --> 00:16:42,632
OK? That's...
that's one of our good doorknobs.
272
00:16:42,772 --> 00:16:44,103
Let me take care of this.

273
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,607
Colleen Peck has been here forever.
Don't mention that.
274
00:16:47,743 --> 00:16:50,405
But McVee is paid more.
Don't mention that, either.
275
00:16:50,546 --> 00:16:52,138
They hate each other.
Don't mention that.
276
00:16:52,281 --> 00:16:55,114
But that's because Colleen hates
everybody. Don't mention that.
277
00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:58,550
And she used to sleep with McVee,
who threw her over for her assistant.
278
00:16:58,687 --> 00:17:00,086
- Do not mention that.
- Got it.
279
00:17:00,222 --> 00:17:01,951
- After you talk to Colleen...
- Yeah, yeah?
280
00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:05,219
Make sure you get me before you talk
to McVee, so I can go with ya.
281
00:17:05,361 --> 00:17:08,728
- Why?
- I don't... Just trust me, OK?
282
00:17:08,864 --> 00:17:10,354
- OK.
- OK.
283
00:17:10,499 --> 00:17:11,523
- OK.
- Good.
284
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:14,465
- Can I just...
- Sure. OK, you ready?

285
00:17:14,603 --> 00:17:16,264
- I'm ready.
- Good luck.
286
00:17:23,112 --> 00:17:25,637
Do you know how many EP's I've had
in the past 11 years?
287
00:17:27,683 --> 00:17:28,980
Fourteen.
288
00:17:29,118 --> 00:17:32,053
If they're stupid, they get fired,
and if they're smart, they quit.
289
00:17:32,188 --> 00:17:34,679
And now look what I get.
290
00:17:36,826 --> 00:17:37,815
Well...
291
00:17:38,494 --> 00:17:40,155
- It's a pleasure...
- You think it's fun being
292
00:17:40,296 --> 00:17:42,491
in last place?
Do you think I enjoy working
293
00:17:42,631 --> 00:17:45,794
for a network that spends more
on one episode of a dating show
294
00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:48,301
about a bachelor dwarf
than our entire weekly budget?
295
00:17:48,437 --> 00:17:50,871
- No...
- And I've never had a decent
296
00:17:51,006 --> 00:17:53,338
- co-anchor ever!
- We're gonna change...
297
00:17:53,475 --> 00:17:58,538
Just a revolving door of cretinous

morons. Our ratings are in the crapper.

298
00:17:58,681 --> 00:18:02,082
I mean, how long can this show
limp along like this?
299
00:18:02,218 --> 00:18:05,312
I know that everyone's been through
a lot, and I know that there's been
300
00:18:05,454 --> 00:18:07,319
so many challenges along the way.
But, you know...
301
00:18:07,456 --> 00:18:09,583
You will fail like everyone else
302
00:18:09,725 --> 00:18:12,216
and then you'll be gone,
like everyone else.
303
00:18:12,361 --> 00:18:16,320
But I will still be here, pulling
the train up the hill with my teeth.
304
00:18:16,465 --> 00:18:18,262
You think it's fun
getting your ass kicked?
305
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,265
- No...
- Welcome to Daybreak.
306
00:18:20,402 --> 00:18:23,200
Enjoy the pain, Gidget.
307
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,041
No! It's OK. I have it!
I've done this a zillion times and...
308
00:18:28,177 --> 00:18:30,270
- I'm gonna fix that and...
- See ya later!
309
00:18:30,412 --> 00:18:31,640
Good talking to you.
310

00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:39,749

Paul! Hi! I'm... I'm Becky Fuller.
311
00:18:39,889 --> 00:18:43,518
Your new EP. Thrilled to meet you.
312
00:18:43,659 --> 00:18:46,719
I was just thinking maybe we could
go over a few ideas.
313
00:18:46,862 --> 00:18:47,988
I was thinking maybe we could
314
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:50,189
get you on the street
and do some remotes.
315
00:18:50,332 --> 00:18:53,699
Yeah, I don't like to leave the studio.
I like climate control.
316
00:18:53,836 --> 00:18:58,796
But, if you want, we could
discuss this further privately.
317
00:19:00,843 --> 00:19:02,606
What size are your feet?
318
00:19:02,745 --> 00:19:04,770
- You wear about a six and half? Seven?
- Pardon?
319
00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:07,781
How do you feel about
having them photographed?
320
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:10,852
Good? Feel good about that?
321
00:19:10,986 --> 00:19:12,544
You should.
I keep 'em very classy.
322
00:19:12,688 --> 00:19:14,588
I... don't...
323
00:19:14,723 --> 00:19:16,782

Can I show you my blog?

"Sexy Feet?"
324
00:19:16,926 --> 00:19:18,553
- No.
- Yes?
325
00:19:18,694 --> 00:19:19,752
No.
326
00:19:19,895 --> 00:19:21,487
- I met Paul.
- You talked to him alone?
327
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:23,530
- I told you to come see me first.
- I know, but...
328
00:19:23,666 --> 00:19:27,500
What was I gonna do?
Hi, everyone. Hi, I'm Becky.
329
00:19:27,636 --> 00:19:29,194
Hi. Good morning.
330
00:19:29,338 --> 00:19:33,297
Oh, God, look who's here.
I mean not here.
331
00:19:33,442 --> 00:19:35,137
McVee. So shocking, huh?
332
00:19:35,277 --> 00:19:39,145
Yeah, well, Mr. McVee doesn't
always come to these things.
333
00:19:39,281 --> 00:19:43,149
Oh, could you tell Paul
that we need him, please? Thanks.
334
00:19:43,285 --> 00:19:46,049
OK, so let's just dive in,
shall we?
335
00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:48,988
Who wants to start?
336

00:19:49,124 --> 00:19:50,785

Tomorrow Rocco DiSpirito
wants to make lasagna.
337
00:19:50,926 --> 00:19:52,985
I told him we did that last week
with the Barefoot Contessa,
338
00:19:53,128 --> 00:19:55,596
- but he's insisting. What do I do?
- For the segment on miniskirts,
339
00:19:55,731 --> 00:19:58,427
- do you want all size models?
- Next week, I want to do a piece
340
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:00,398
on juice cleanses.
All the celebs are doing them
341
00:20:00,536 --> 00:20:02,504
and they have amazing
powers of rejuvenization.
342
00:20:02,638 --> 00:20:05,198
My idea is that I get a juice
cleanse and then we can, like,
343
00:20:05,341 --> 00:20:07,707
- measure my toxins...
- For the Carville interview...
344
00:20:07,843 --> 00:20:10,141
I'm sorry, Lisa, do you want
the living room set or the stools?
345
00:20:10,279 --> 00:20:12,713
ABC says we can't have Eva Longoria
until two weeks after
346
00:20:12,848 --> 00:20:14,782
- she does G.M.A. What do we do?
- On psychic animals,
347
00:20:14,917 --> 00:20:16,714
would you prefer a parakeet
or an iguana?
348

00:20:16,852 --> 00:20:18,877

I'd like to do a piece on weathervanes.
They are fascinating.
349
00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:21,489
Like did you know the word "vane"
comes from the Old English "fana",
350
00:20:21,623 --> 00:20:24,649
- which means flag or weathercock?
- Friday, for cooking with squash,
351
00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:26,886
- inside or on the plaza?
- They're offering us the third
352
00:20:27,029 --> 00:20:28,963
lead in the new Patrick Dempsey movie.
Do you want him?
353
00:20:29,098 --> 00:20:31,066
Great story out of Tampa about
a retirement account scandal.
354
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,293
But we got to move quick. Should we
send a team or just local talent?
355
00:20:33,435 --> 00:20:35,198
...control room's on the fritz.
Ten grand to fix it.
356
00:20:35,337 --> 00:20:38,306
For that piece on baby food,
do we want an actual baby,
357
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,840
and if so, white, black,
Hispanic, Asian,
358
00:20:40,976 --> 00:20:43,467
blonde hair, brown hair,
teeth, or no teeth?
359
00:20:43,612 --> 00:20:45,512
I have a black baby at home.
360
00:20:49,518 --> 00:20:52,043

I'm sorry, I can't hear

what you're saying. I...
361
00:20:52,187 --> 00:20:54,951
Hello! Hi, hi. Does someone
wanna tell me why I had to log off
362
00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:56,990
BangingGrannies.com for this?
363
00:20:58,494 --> 00:20:59,756
Asshole.
364
00:21:06,068 --> 00:21:08,730
Tell Rocco if he insists on making
lasagna, he will be bumped.
365
00:21:08,871 --> 00:21:11,999
Yes, all size models,
but skirts not too short. Toxins?
366
00:21:12,141 --> 00:21:13,768
Who said that?
They can't be measured.
367
00:21:13,909 --> 00:21:17,276
And "rejuvenization," not a word.
Tell Longoria's people
368
00:21:17,413 --> 00:21:20,439
that she can't plug her next film unless
we get her within a week of G.M.A.
369
00:21:20,582 --> 00:21:23,073
Parakeet. Ernie, weathercock?
Seriously?
370
00:21:23,218 --> 00:21:25,015
The plaza for squash.
I want Patrick Dempsey.
371
00:21:25,154 --> 00:21:27,281
Tell his people we'll run him in
the first hour and he can talk about
372
00:21:27,423 --> 00:21:29,914
whatever his thing is.
Tampa Bay, definitely local talent.

373
00:21:30,059 --> 00:21:31,686
And we've got to fix that sound board.
374
00:21:31,827 --> 00:21:33,089
Find ten grand
in the budget somewhere.
375
00:21:33,228 --> 00:21:35,093
The hair and makeup numbers, those
were too high. So, Colleen, could you
376
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:36,857
share your hair person with Lisa?
377
00:21:36,999 --> 00:21:39,524
That'd be great, great. OK.
Asian baby, no teeth.
378
00:21:39,668 --> 00:21:40,726
- Lesbian parents.
- OK.
379
00:21:40,869 --> 00:21:42,894
Did I miss anything?
380
00:21:43,038 --> 00:21:45,370
Oh, Paul!
381
00:21:48,177 --> 00:21:49,371
You're fired.
382
00:21:50,479 --> 00:21:53,380
- You're adorable.
- Fired!
383
00:22:05,894 --> 00:22:08,226
I'm sorry. That was unprofessional.
384
00:22:14,570 --> 00:22:17,368
Congratulations. The first day,
you flushed your anchor
385
00:22:17,506 --> 00:22:19,167
and you got no money
to pay for another one.

386
00:22:19,308 --> 00:22:21,276
He was lowering the morale of the show.
387
00:22:21,410 --> 00:22:22,968
How is that possible?
388
00:22:23,112 --> 00:22:25,171
Look, you must have
someone under contract.
389
00:22:25,314 --> 00:22:27,908
A local anchor, a reporter.
I'll find someone.
390
00:22:28,050 --> 00:22:30,484
I'll promote from within.
That'll be great for morale!
391
00:22:30,619 --> 00:22:33,884
Go nuts. Find somebody great.
It just can't cost me a penny.
392
00:22:34,623 --> 00:22:37,091
What if I gave them one
of my three pennies?
393
00:22:37,226 --> 00:22:40,559
Whatever it takes.
Just get the ratings up.
394
00:22:45,868 --> 00:22:50,168
Lenny, hi. Yeah. Very positive.
He thinks we have terrific options.
395
00:22:50,305 --> 00:22:53,103
...plunge from 200 points
right before closing.
396
00:22:53,242 --> 00:22:56,507
- Analysts fear that this...
- He's not bad.
397
00:22:56,645 --> 00:22:59,842
Yeah, he's OK. Put a saddle on him,
he's good to go.
398
00:22:59,982 --> 00:23:03,611

- ...are not happy.

- Should we watch 86 again?
399
00:23:03,752 --> 00:23:07,848
I got to get home, see the kids,
or the wife is gonna kill me.
400
00:23:07,990 --> 00:23:09,423
You have kids?
401
00:23:10,225 --> 00:23:12,455
What? No.
402
00:23:12,594 --> 00:23:14,459
No? Husband? Boyfriend?
403
00:23:15,230 --> 00:23:17,698
Me? What? No.
404
00:23:17,833 --> 00:23:20,734
- No, I'm sorry. Stupid question.
- You know...
405
00:23:20,869 --> 00:23:23,861
- You're hideous and repulsive.
- You know what? Forget 86.
406
00:23:24,006 --> 00:23:28,136
I think that we should watch the Miami
guy again, 'cause he was, I mean,
407
00:23:28,277 --> 00:23:30,507
you know, he was a little bit tan,
but I think...
408
00:23:30,646 --> 00:23:32,477
I think that we could wipe
that off, it's probably
409
00:23:32,614 --> 00:23:36,345
just one of those self-tanner things.
I could, you know, fix that.
410
00:23:37,352 --> 00:23:38,717
Good night.
411
00:23:39,588 --> 00:23:42,284

Hey, look. It's Mike Pomeroy's fangirl.

412
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,822
- Hello.
- Hey.
413
00:23:45,961 --> 00:23:47,019
That was you.
414
00:23:47,162 --> 00:23:49,357
That was really embarrassing.
415
00:23:50,199 --> 00:23:52,360
I may need to have you killed.
416
00:23:53,702 --> 00:23:56,170
I'm... I'm Becky Fuller. Sorry.
417
00:23:56,305 --> 00:23:57,795
"Becky Fuller" Becky Fuller?
418
00:23:57,940 --> 00:24:00,875
The one who took out McVee?
You're a legend already.
419
00:24:01,009 --> 00:24:03,000
- Thanks.
- I'm Adam Bennett.
420
00:24:03,145 --> 00:24:04,840
I'm a producer upstairs at Seven Days.
421
00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:07,107
- Hello.
- So you lookin' for a new anchor?
422
00:24:07,249 --> 00:24:09,774
- Yes.
- Not that guy.
423
00:24:09,918 --> 00:24:11,943
You can't use that guy.
That's the horse guy.
424
00:24:12,087 --> 00:24:14,783
He's not too bad. I mean,
as long as we leave our hand flat

425
00:24:14,923 --> 00:24:17,050
when we feed him a carrot.
426
00:24:17,192 --> 00:24:21,788
- Well, good luck, Becky Fuller.
- Thank you, Adam Bennett.
427
00:24:21,930 --> 00:24:25,730
- Need any help?
- No. I'm good. Thanks.
428
00:24:26,935 --> 00:24:30,371
The sports guy from St. Louis
is not bad. Let's watch him again.
429
00:24:30,505 --> 00:24:33,906
No, we need some gravitas.
We need people to trust us.
430
00:24:34,042 --> 00:24:37,876
I mean, if news breaks on the air, we
need to be able to cover it credibly.
431
00:24:38,013 --> 00:24:41,540
What, do you actually think
that we can cover breaking news?
432
00:24:41,683 --> 00:24:44,277
- God, that's adorable.
- Thousands gathered today
433
00:24:44,419 --> 00:24:47,547
to see if the tiny buck-toothed creature
would spot his own shadow.
434
00:24:47,689 --> 00:24:50,749
But the sad tooth is,
according to Punxsutawney Phil,
435
00:24:50,892 --> 00:24:55,386
this bitter winter is far from over.
Back to you, Mike.
436
00:24:58,834 --> 00:24:59,926
What?
437

00:25:00,068 --> 00:25:03,037

Yesterday, the Secretary of State
held a top-level
438
00:25:03,171 --> 00:25:05,196
- State Department security brief...
- What's funny?
439
00:25:05,340 --> 00:25:08,309
- You put Seabiscuit back in?
- But we agree that Hezbollah
440
00:25:08,443 --> 00:25:11,241
has shown a willingness
to continue to attack.
441
00:25:11,380 --> 00:25:14,076
- Becky?
- Can I call you back?
442
00:25:14,216 --> 00:25:16,582
...lsraeli incursions.
443
00:25:16,718 --> 00:25:22,156
What steps are you taking to limit
these Hezbollah retaliations?
444
00:25:22,291 --> 00:25:24,088
You have Pomeroy
under contract, right?
445
00:25:25,093 --> 00:25:28,927
Yeah. He was supposed to do
stories for one of our magazine shows.
446
00:25:29,064 --> 00:25:30,929
- Yeah?
- We couldn't use anything he pitched.
447
00:25:31,066 --> 00:25:33,261
- Nothing?
- An eight-part story
448
00:25:33,402 --> 00:25:36,667
on the United Nations.
An interview with a Pashtun warlord.
449
00:25:36,805 --> 00:25:41,367

A piece on microfinance in Asia?

It's all been so tempting.
450
00:25:41,510 --> 00:25:43,535
- Jerry!
- So we're just paying him to sit there.
451
00:25:43,679 --> 00:25:46,375
Wait. But he must
have millions on his contract.
452
00:25:46,515 --> 00:25:48,813
You have a world-caliber
news man with nothing to do!
453
00:25:48,950 --> 00:25:50,884
- Becky, this is...
- No, Pomeroy has reported
454
00:25:51,019 --> 00:25:55,115
on every major story of the last three
decades, with integrity and courage!
455
00:25:55,257 --> 00:25:58,283
I mean, he was the only anchor to go
down to Ground Zero on the day.
456
00:25:58,427 --> 00:26:00,657
His Q ratings, I looked at them,
they're unbelievable,
457
00:26:00,796 --> 00:26:04,323
- and you're already paying him.
- I have to go. We'll discuss this.
458
00:26:04,466 --> 00:26:05,933
I...
459
00:26:06,068 --> 00:26:08,161
I want to look at his contract!
460
00:26:08,303 --> 00:26:10,464
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Hi.
461
00:26:10,605 --> 00:26:15,133
I need your approval
to look at his contract.

462
00:26:16,211 --> 00:26:18,042
Please.
463
00:26:44,339 --> 00:26:46,569
Hi.
464
00:26:46,708 --> 00:26:48,141
Hi.
465
00:26:50,312 --> 00:26:52,246
I'm Becky Fuller and...
466
00:26:52,381 --> 00:26:55,077
We actually met the other day
in the elevator.
467
00:26:55,217 --> 00:26:58,050
And what the hell are you doing here?
468
00:26:58,186 --> 00:27:01,952
I'm the producer of Daybreak and we're
actually looking for a new anchor.
469
00:27:03,325 --> 00:27:05,259
Then why are you here?
470
00:27:05,394 --> 00:27:07,385
Well, it's funny that you should ask.
471
00:27:07,529 --> 00:27:10,293
Go away.
472
00:27:10,432 --> 00:27:13,595
OK, just hear me out, because the
show actually has a lot of potential.
473
00:27:13,735 --> 00:27:15,032
We're starting over basically,
474
00:27:15,170 --> 00:27:17,695
and with an anchor as esteemed
and respected as yourself...
475
00:27:25,213 --> 00:27:28,148
You've been a journalist
your whole life, ever since

476
00:27:28,283 --> 00:27:30,342
your elementary school paper,
The Beaverton Bee.
477
00:27:30,485 --> 00:27:33,852
I mean, you've got to miss it. You...
News breaks, it must just kill you
478
00:27:33,989 --> 00:27:37,584
- not to be out there.
- Morning shows don't do news.
479
00:27:37,726 --> 00:27:42,288
Jesus, Daybreak. Half the people that
watch your show have lost their remote.
480
00:27:42,431 --> 00:27:45,662
The other half are waiting
for their nurse to turn them over.
481
00:27:45,801 --> 00:27:49,259
If I wanted to come back,
I could have any job I chose.
482
00:27:49,404 --> 00:27:52,100
But you can't work on another network
for another two years.
483
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,506
So I'll continue to enjoy my life
on IBS's dime.
484
00:27:56,645 --> 00:27:58,738
All right,
I didn't want to have to do this.
485
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,348
- I looked at your contract.
- What?
486
00:28:01,483 --> 00:28:03,849
- With the lawyers.
- My contract?
487
00:28:03,985 --> 00:28:06,852
You're right. They do have to pay you
for the last two years of your contract.

488
00:28:06,988 --> 00:28:08,387
Unless six months have elapsed
489
00:28:08,523 --> 00:28:10,354
without you appearing on the air
in any capacity.
490
00:28:10,492 --> 00:28:12,824
Then, if the network offers
you an official position
491
00:28:12,961 --> 00:28:15,452
and you don't take it,
they can terminate your contract
492
00:28:15,597 --> 00:28:18,157
and the six million dollars
that you have left on it.
493
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:21,497
So, here's me with an official offer.
494
00:28:21,636 --> 00:28:25,333
Mike Pomeroy, the IBS network
would like to offer you
495
00:28:25,474 --> 00:28:27,942
the position of co-host of Daybreak.
496
00:28:31,580 --> 00:28:34,743
- You're joking.
- No.
497
00:28:34,883 --> 00:28:36,214
Actually, I'm not.
498
00:28:37,285 --> 00:28:39,412
Do you have any idea
what's going on in the world?
499
00:28:39,554 --> 00:28:43,684
And you want me to do stories
about baked Alaska?
500
00:28:43,825 --> 00:28:46,020
After the career that I've had?

501
00:28:47,128 --> 00:28:48,925
You just need to have an open mind.
502
00:28:49,064 --> 00:28:50,497
- Open mind.
- I mean, yes, the morning news
503
00:28:50,632 --> 00:28:54,090
- has a wider range of stories...
- A wider range?!
504
00:28:54,236 --> 00:28:57,694
Your program is in the
news department, you cretin!
505
00:28:57,839 --> 00:29:00,740
News is a sacred temple.
506
00:29:00,876 --> 00:29:04,903
And you're part of the cabal
that's ruining it with horseshit!
507
00:29:05,046 --> 00:29:06,411
That's not actually fair.
508
00:29:06,548 --> 00:29:09,813
Because the first half hour of a morning
show is a damn fine news broadcast.
509
00:29:09,951 --> 00:29:11,578
Sure, we cover news and entertainment.
510
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,312
That's everything
a newspaper has ever done.
511
00:29:13,455 --> 00:29:15,514
There's nothing wrong with that.
Think of it this way:
512
00:29:15,657 --> 00:29:17,557
We're like a well-informed neighbor,
coming over to chat
513
00:29:17,692 --> 00:29:20,957
with people in the morning. You know,

Brokaw did the morning news.

514
00:29:21,096 --> 00:29:23,621
And Charlie Gibson. Walter Cronkite
did it at the beginning of his career.
515
00:29:23,765 --> 00:29:26,825
I mean, he co-hosted a morning program
with a puppet named Charlemagne.
516
00:29:28,203 --> 00:29:31,400
Well, then... get a puppet.
517
00:29:34,342 --> 00:29:38,278
It's inexpensive and uses things
you already have around the house.
518
00:29:38,413 --> 00:29:42,941
You can make globes, hats,
especially piatas.
519
00:29:43,084 --> 00:29:45,609
Now, mch means
"to chew" in French,
520
00:29:45,754 --> 00:29:49,747
but we're not actually going
to be eating any of this, right?
521
00:29:51,259 --> 00:29:52,248
Of course not!
522
00:29:52,394 --> 00:29:54,225
No.
523
00:29:54,362 --> 00:29:56,626
Coming up next, you've heard her sing.
524
00:29:56,765 --> 00:29:59,393
Well, today, you're going
to hear about her sweet tooth.
525
00:29:59,534 --> 00:30:03,903
Join us as we bake brownies
with Celine Dion's personal chef.
526
00:30:04,039 --> 00:30:07,270

All that and more,

coming up on Daybreak.
527
00:30:07,409 --> 00:30:08,740
- We're clear!
- Oh, my God,
528
00:30:08,877 --> 00:30:12,108
will somebody please get this off?
Thank you, thank you.
529
00:30:12,247 --> 00:30:14,442
- Thank you very much.
- OK, so, we don't have time
530
00:30:14,583 --> 00:30:16,915
for the sit-down, so we're just
gonna run the package, all right?
531
00:30:17,052 --> 00:30:19,612
- Are you OK?
- What?
532
00:30:19,754 --> 00:30:23,417
Don't beat yourself up.
He was never gonna do it. Pomeroy?
533
00:30:23,558 --> 00:30:26,322
- How did you know that?
- Mike was never gonna come to work
534
00:30:26,461 --> 00:30:29,157
at this little dog and pony show,
especially not working for somebody
535
00:30:29,297 --> 00:30:31,492
- like, well, I'm sorry, but you.
- OK. Like, yeah.
536
00:30:31,633 --> 00:30:35,069
You. Not in a thousand years. I mean,
obviously, don't get me wrong,
537
00:30:35,203 --> 00:30:40,140
I would have... I would have
welcomed him with open arms.
538
00:30:40,275 --> 00:30:41,799

Oh, my God.
539
00:30:49,317 --> 00:30:51,911
I heard he was coming in,
but I didn't...
540
00:31:00,962 --> 00:31:03,453
I've won eight Peabodys.
541
00:31:03,598 --> 00:31:05,088
A Pulitzer.
542
00:31:05,233 --> 00:31:07,997
Sixteen Emmys.
543
00:31:08,136 --> 00:31:11,264
I was shot through
the forearm in Bosnia.
544
00:31:11,406 --> 00:31:15,103
Pulled Colin Powell from a burning Jeep.
545
00:31:15,243 --> 00:31:19,612
I laid a cool washcloth
on Mother Teresa's forehead
546
00:31:19,748 --> 00:31:22,273
during a cholera epidemic.
547
00:31:22,417 --> 00:31:26,217
I've had lunch with Dick Cheney.
548
00:31:28,156 --> 00:31:30,317
You're here for the money.
549
00:31:32,327 --> 00:31:34,090
That is correct.
550
00:31:35,597 --> 00:31:38,498
Five, four, three...
551
00:31:38,967 --> 00:31:39,956
Fuck.
552
00:31:40,969 --> 00:31:42,129
Welcome back to Daybreak.

553
00:31:42,270 --> 00:31:44,898
God, does he cook?
Does he do... I don't know,
554
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,337
fashion segments and gossip?
555
00:31:46,474 --> 00:31:50,001
Does he have three-year-old octuplets
barf all over him like I did last year?
556
00:31:50,145 --> 00:31:51,578
Well, unfortunately, in the '80s,
557
00:31:51,713 --> 00:31:53,408
someone gave him
story refusal rights, so no.
558
00:31:53,548 --> 00:31:56,073
I don't care. Does he know that
this is called morning television?
559
00:31:56,217 --> 00:31:58,276
Yes, and I think
that after a little bit of time,
560
00:31:58,420 --> 00:32:00,388
he's really gonna want
to do a mix of stories.
561
00:32:00,522 --> 00:32:03,457
Face it! I'm going to end up making
turkey meatballs with Mario Batali
562
00:32:03,591 --> 00:32:07,049
- for the rest of my natural life.
- I need the new titles ASAP.
563
00:32:07,195 --> 00:32:10,221
OK, let's move it. Single malt. We've
got the hand soap,
564
00:32:10,365 --> 00:32:12,765
we got the mixers, the papers,
the tropical fruit.
565

00:32:12,901 --> 00:32:14,766

Here we go.
Whoever heard of mangosteen?
566
00:32:14,903 --> 00:32:18,168
- Apparently, he has.
- This is Colleen's dressing room
567
00:32:18,306 --> 00:32:23,334
and... She's so looking
forward to seeing you.
568
00:32:23,478 --> 00:32:25,810
Good. Great. Glad to hear it.
569
00:32:27,148 --> 00:32:30,276
And this is mine?
570
00:32:30,418 --> 00:32:34,616
Yes, but Colleen is... Never mind.
571
00:32:35,256 --> 00:32:36,883
You got me the newspapers?
572
00:32:37,025 --> 00:32:38,515
The mixers?
573
00:32:39,527 --> 00:32:41,995
The tropical fruit plate.
574
00:32:42,130 --> 00:32:45,861
All stipulated in your ten-page rider.
575
00:32:46,835 --> 00:32:49,998
- Nice of you.
- Yes...
576
00:32:50,138 --> 00:32:54,302
Colleen wants me, I'll be in here.
577
00:32:56,377 --> 00:32:57,366
OK.
578
00:33:01,516 --> 00:33:05,714
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He should come in here.

579
00:33:08,456 --> 00:33:11,220
- OK.
- What the hell is that?
580
00:33:11,359 --> 00:33:13,520
No hurry.
581
00:33:15,196 --> 00:33:16,663
No. No and no.
582
00:33:19,434 --> 00:33:20,423
OK.
583
00:33:20,568 --> 00:33:23,799
Did you tell her I have papaya in here?
584
00:33:23,938 --> 00:33:29,001
He gets a tropical fruit plate?
That is just so pathetic.
585
00:33:30,311 --> 00:33:31,642
That guy might be our only hope.
586
00:33:31,780 --> 00:33:35,216
So I suggest you just man up
and get in there!
587
00:33:35,350 --> 00:33:37,580
That is such a good speech!
588
00:33:37,719 --> 00:33:40,847
Guess what? I'm not going.
589
00:33:49,798 --> 00:33:52,858
So, we'll be shooting Mike's
promos all week and then
590
00:33:53,001 --> 00:33:54,593
we'll finalize the format
of the show on Friday.
591
00:33:54,736 --> 00:33:56,704
Then we'll rehearse
Mike's openings and segues.
592
00:33:56,838 --> 00:34:00,296

Excuse me.
Who is going to say goodbye?
593
00:34:01,743 --> 00:34:04,803
- Pardon?
- Well, at the end of the show?
594
00:34:06,414 --> 00:34:07,574
It doesn't really matter.
595
00:34:07,715 --> 00:34:10,115
I mean, Mike, you don't mind
if Colleen says goodbye?
596
00:34:10,251 --> 00:34:13,049
Well, who do you think the public
would rather hear from last?
597
00:34:13,188 --> 00:34:17,625
Someone who's won every broadcast
award on the face of the planet
598
00:34:17,759 --> 00:34:21,525
or the former Miss Pacoima?
599
00:34:21,663 --> 00:34:24,029
It's Arizona!
600
00:34:24,199 --> 00:34:27,134
In case you're interested,
I was Miss Arizona!
601
00:34:29,771 --> 00:34:31,398
Christ!
602
00:34:37,946 --> 00:34:40,676
We can't both have our arms folded.
603
00:34:40,815 --> 00:34:42,544
And I am the female here, I think.
604
00:34:42,684 --> 00:34:45,380
- Colleen on this side.
- Of course, I'd be more than happy to.
605
00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:56,664
Can you just step away,

just for a second? Thanks.

606
00:34:56,798 --> 00:34:59,926
We don't want
to take up your precious... Hello?!
607
00:35:00,068 --> 00:35:04,095
- Is that better?
- What's next? Bubble bath?
608
00:35:06,808 --> 00:35:08,298
Hey. Hi!
609
00:35:09,711 --> 00:35:11,736
- Hey.
- Hi.
610
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,440
Hey, I just came to...
to offer my condolences
611
00:35:14,582 --> 00:35:17,881
on hiring the third
worst person in the world.
612
00:35:20,054 --> 00:35:21,544
Thanks.
613
00:35:21,689 --> 00:35:26,422
Yes. I...
Who are the other two?
614
00:35:26,928 --> 00:35:31,331
Kim Jong-il
and Angela Lansbury, actually.
615
00:35:31,466 --> 00:35:34,458
- She knows what she did.
- OK.
616
00:35:34,602 --> 00:35:39,301
So, I... I gather that you worked
with Mike at the nightly news.
617
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,637
Worst year of my life.
The entire time we worked together,

618
00:35:42,777 --> 00:35:46,042
the only thing he ever called me
was Seor Dipshit.
619
00:35:47,582 --> 00:35:48,571
It's not funny.
620
00:35:48,716 --> 00:35:49,842
- I'm sorry, that's not funny.
- No.
621
00:35:49,984 --> 00:35:52,214
That's terrible.
That is terrible, actually.
622
00:35:52,353 --> 00:35:54,446
Yeah, so...
623
00:35:54,589 --> 00:35:57,319
So now is an excellent time
for you to take up drinking.
624
00:35:57,458 --> 00:36:00,894
And... And I came by to say
that sometimes after work,
625
00:36:01,029 --> 00:36:03,156
a few of us go over
to Schiller's on Madison,
626
00:36:03,298 --> 00:36:07,735
so, you know,
if you're ever around...
627
00:36:07,869 --> 00:36:10,463
- Around.
- Yeah, available.
628
00:36:10,605 --> 00:36:15,838
Oh, OK. Yeah.
That... would be nice.
629
00:36:15,977 --> 00:36:19,572
Yeah, I... I don't,
I don't really go out very much,
630
00:36:19,714 --> 00:36:22,080

but if I'm in the neighborhood,

631
00:36:22,216 --> 00:36:24,912
- I will definitely stop by and say hi.
- Well, like tomorrow.
632
00:36:25,053 --> 00:36:27,954
- Around eight.
- OK. Yeah, sounds good.
633
00:36:28,089 --> 00:36:29,750
- All right.
- Sure, yeah.
634
00:36:31,025 --> 00:36:33,084
- Bye.
- Bye.
635
00:36:33,227 --> 00:36:36,060
That's not too shabby.
You got a new anchor.
636
00:36:36,197 --> 00:36:40,657
Somebody asked you out on a date.
Things are lookin' up.
637
00:36:40,802 --> 00:36:43,464
That was... He...
Not asking me out on a date.
638
00:36:43,604 --> 00:36:45,538
I think it was.
I was standin' right there.
639
00:36:45,673 --> 00:36:47,504
- No, no.
- Yeah.
640
00:36:47,642 --> 00:36:51,009
He was just mentioning that
he might be somewhere. I mean...
641
00:36:51,145 --> 00:36:54,478
Come on, please, I think I would
know if I was being asked out on a date.
642
00:36:54,615 --> 00:36:56,981
- It's a date.

- So, we've got the bird whisperer

643
00:36:57,118 --> 00:36:58,813
- confirmed for Tuesday?
- Yes.
644
00:36:58,953 --> 00:37:01,217
Great. And...
Al Green on the plaza Wednesday.
645
00:37:01,356 --> 00:37:02,550
- Two songs.
- OK.
646
00:37:02,690 --> 00:37:05,124
And Colleen, do you want to do
the interview between the songs?
647
00:37:08,496 --> 00:37:10,259
No, let me.
648
00:37:14,602 --> 00:37:15,864
Yeah, I'll do it.
649
00:37:16,904 --> 00:37:22,433
OK. Mike, so we have this great story
on children's water safety.
650
00:37:23,845 --> 00:37:26,006
- That's the...
- Not my thing.
651
00:37:27,515 --> 00:37:31,110
OK, how about a rundown of the new
shows on the fall television season?
652
00:37:31,252 --> 00:37:34,016
- Oh, yeah. That's a no.
- OK.
653
00:37:34,155 --> 00:37:37,647
The boom in organic farming.
Very hot topic right now.
654
00:37:37,792 --> 00:37:40,989
That's newsy, right?
655

00:37:41,129 --> 00:37:43,222

What do you want me to do?
Fire another anchor?
656
00:37:43,364 --> 00:37:46,094
Then we're gonna be stuck with
that guy who counts with his hooves.
657
00:37:46,234 --> 00:37:48,998
Colleen can't do every story
that's not hard news.
658
00:37:49,137 --> 00:37:51,833
It's Mike Pomeroy. He's a legend.
What am I supposed to tell him?
659
00:37:51,973 --> 00:37:54,908
- There she is.
- What...? Oh, hi.
660
00:37:55,043 --> 00:37:57,705
Interesting, Jerry hired you.
661
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:02,746
No polish. No pedigree.
Those bangs.
662
00:38:02,884 --> 00:38:05,352
What was he thinking?
663
00:38:09,657 --> 00:38:11,522
Just wondering.
664
00:38:13,161 --> 00:38:15,629
- He's a peach.
- Yeah.
665
00:38:16,431 --> 00:38:18,194
Coming soon to Daybreak,
666
00:38:18,332 --> 00:38:21,927
one of the most legendary newsmen
of all time.
667
00:38:22,070 --> 00:38:25,972
Soon, he'll be bringing his
experience to morning television.

668
00:38:26,107 --> 00:38:29,167
Let Mike Pomeroy show you the world
669
00:38:29,310 --> 00:38:31,244
over your first cup of coffee!
670
00:38:31,379 --> 00:38:34,041
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
- What? What, what, what is it now?
671
00:38:34,182 --> 00:38:37,208
It's embarrassing. I mean,
what's in the briefcase?
672
00:38:37,351 --> 00:38:39,546
- What do you mean? What?
- Special anchorman papers?
673
00:38:39,687 --> 00:38:41,245
- It doesn't matter.
- My lunch? Where am I going?
674
00:38:41,389 --> 00:38:42,981
- We've been over this eight times!
- I'm running to nowhere.
675
00:38:43,124 --> 00:38:45,991
- I look like a jackass!
- No... Yes, you do.
676
00:38:47,428 --> 00:38:50,488
You know, whoever gave you
promo approval was smoking crack!
677
00:38:50,631 --> 00:38:52,030
- I want to meet that person.
- I was mopping the floor
678
00:38:52,166 --> 00:38:53,690
- with Peter Jennings at the time.
- I want to have words with...
679
00:38:53,835 --> 00:38:56,395
I could have had hookers and
eight balls written into my contract.
680
00:38:56,537 --> 00:38:59,131

- How nice for you.

- ...over your first cup of coffee.
681
00:38:59,273 --> 00:39:02,731
Why do we have to mention that first
cup of coffee? Why not just say,
682
00:39:02,877 --> 00:39:06,278
"Watch Mike Pomeroy
before your morning dump?"
683
00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:09,276
One of the most legendary newsmen...
684
00:39:09,417 --> 00:39:12,386
So for the fashion segments, I think
it's important that we interpret
685
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:16,889
runway trends for our viewers because
they're not all six foot and size zero.
686
00:39:17,024 --> 00:39:20,516
- Man, he's cute.
- I went to Yale with him.
687
00:39:20,661 --> 00:39:21,650
- Shut up.
- You did not.
688
00:39:21,796 --> 00:39:23,263
Everyone was madly in love with him.
689
00:39:23,397 --> 00:39:25,797
Actually, just me and
every single person I knew.
690
00:39:25,933 --> 00:39:28,026
- Can we just...?
- His dad was editor of Newsweek.
691
00:39:28,169 --> 00:39:30,660
His mom's family is rich as hell.
They own like Tupperware or something.
692
00:39:30,805 --> 00:39:33,638
He rowed crew for Yale when they won
the national championship.

693
00:39:37,111 --> 00:39:38,100
Hi.
694
00:39:41,916 --> 00:39:45,647
- You know him?
- No. Yeah, well, yes, I mean, I...
695
00:39:45,786 --> 00:39:47,845
- Yes.
- Don't you think he's smokin'?
696
00:39:47,989 --> 00:39:49,923
- Smokin'.
- Yeah.
697
00:39:50,057 --> 00:39:53,026
I don't know, I don't know.
Let me see. I don't know.
698
00:39:53,161 --> 00:39:55,061
- Not a hard question.
- He's walking away.
699
00:39:55,196 --> 00:39:58,632
So jeans and belts.
700
00:39:58,766 --> 00:40:01,394
You have a rash or something
spreading on your neck.
701
00:40:17,985 --> 00:40:21,216
Well, you know,
I asked him to do a piece on Trump.
702
00:40:21,355 --> 00:40:24,984
And he actually picked up my Diet Coke
and hurled it across the room.
703
00:40:25,126 --> 00:40:27,754
- Wow, he picked it up.
- Just missed me. He did.
704
00:40:27,895 --> 00:40:30,420
I asked him to cover
a bumper crop of cranberries
705

00:40:30,565 --> 00:40:33,261

and he slapped me in the face.
706
00:40:33,401 --> 00:40:35,130
- He did?
- It's true.
707
00:40:35,269 --> 00:40:37,533
- Really?
- Of course, he was drunk off his ass.
708
00:40:37,672 --> 00:40:38,696
Adam!
709
00:40:38,839 --> 00:40:40,670
- Hi.
- Hi. How are ya?
710
00:40:40,808 --> 00:40:43,675
- I'm good.
- Hi.
711
00:40:43,811 --> 00:40:46,405
- You never called me!
- I'm sorry.
712
00:40:46,547 --> 00:40:49,380
We... I was...
I've been workin' a lot.
713
00:40:49,517 --> 00:40:52,850
Well, maybe I'll see you at
Barton's regatta party on Saturday.
714
00:40:52,987 --> 00:40:54,545
- Great, great.
- OK, great.
715
00:40:54,689 --> 00:40:55,849
Yeah, cool.
716
00:40:57,325 --> 00:41:00,351
- Sorry, I was just...
- That's OK.
717
00:41:00,494 --> 00:41:02,462
Absolutely fine. That's fine, fine.

718
00:41:02,597 --> 00:41:04,155
- Bye.
- See you later.
719
00:41:07,335 --> 00:41:12,637
- Yeah.
- So, anyway,
720
00:41:12,773 --> 00:41:15,537
the reason that I came by tonight,
721
00:41:15,676 --> 00:41:19,305
was because I don't really know
that many people who know Mike,
722
00:41:19,447 --> 00:41:22,746
and I thought, that, you know,
I could get your professional feedback.
723
00:41:22,883 --> 00:41:25,784
- My feedback?
- Yeah, you know.
724
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,981
I mean, 'cause I'm actually
new in town and I don't...
725
00:41:30,124 --> 00:41:31,887
- Come on.
- No, please.
726
00:41:32,026 --> 00:41:34,620
...have that many work contacts, so...
727
00:41:34,762 --> 00:41:38,721
Great. So... we'll be contacts?
728
00:41:38,866 --> 00:41:40,595
That would be great.
729
00:41:40,735 --> 00:41:43,067
Well, you can never
have enough of those.
730
00:41:44,205 --> 00:41:45,297
No, you can't.

731
00:41:45,439 --> 00:41:48,169
So, definitely be seeing you around.
732
00:41:48,309 --> 00:41:49,901
- OK.
- OK.
733
00:42:00,254 --> 00:42:01,516
Shit.
734
00:42:03,491 --> 00:42:05,823
OK. Good rehearsal. Good stuff.
735
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,953
So let's just alternate the
voiceover intros of the headlines.
736
00:42:10,097 --> 00:42:12,190
- OK.
- And then ad-lib.
737
00:42:12,333 --> 00:42:15,427
So, let's say, for example, we're doing
a story about, I don't know,
738
00:42:15,569 --> 00:42:18,094
- a midterm election.
- But we won't.
739
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:19,797
Because the morning shows
don't do news.
740
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:22,932
Pompous. That's really interesting.
That's a different color for you.
741
00:42:23,077 --> 00:42:26,569
- That's...
- OK, and you two should just sort of,
742
00:42:26,714 --> 00:42:28,978
you know, banter back and forth
a little bit.
743
00:42:29,116 --> 00:42:32,552
Banter, from the Latin word,

meaning "to gibber like a moron?"

744
00:42:32,687 --> 00:42:34,587
Just, you know,
talk about the headlines.
745
00:42:34,722 --> 00:42:37,020
That's... that's what I mean.
746
00:42:37,158 --> 00:42:40,127
I'm not gonna sit here and rehearse
like I'm in summer stock.
747
00:42:40,261 --> 00:42:42,491
I've been on the air for 40 years,
for Christ's sake.
748
00:42:42,630 --> 00:42:44,325
I think I know how to ad-lib.
749
00:42:46,300 --> 00:42:48,393
The spill began
when the tanker was damaged
750
00:42:48,536 --> 00:42:50,970
in heavy seas outside Galveston.
751
00:42:51,572 --> 00:42:52,800
Knock, knock.
752
00:42:52,940 --> 00:42:54,464
Can I come in?
753
00:42:56,077 --> 00:42:58,545
I just wanted to say,
754
00:42:58,679 --> 00:43:01,671
you know, good luck.
755
00:43:03,217 --> 00:43:05,378
Colleen's Pap smear.
756
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,818
A television classic.
757
00:43:10,391 --> 00:43:11,756

Are you drunk?

758
00:43:11,892 --> 00:43:14,326
Insufficiently.
759
00:43:14,462 --> 00:43:17,522
Current weather conditions
are complicating efforts
760
00:43:17,665 --> 00:43:20,031
- ...to contain the...
- That's my chair.
761
00:43:20,167 --> 00:43:21,862
What?
762
00:43:22,002 --> 00:43:25,665
That's where I belong. There.
763
00:43:25,806 --> 00:43:27,273
...authorities have asked
the federal government...
764
00:43:27,408 --> 00:43:30,172
Took it away from me,
those motherfu...
765
00:43:30,311 --> 00:43:31,903
I think maybe you should just go home...
766
00:43:32,046 --> 00:43:34,276
- See this?
- Yes. What is that?
767
00:43:34,415 --> 00:43:37,384
Forty-year-old Bruichladdich.
768
00:43:37,518 --> 00:43:41,079
I only drink this
when I'm practically suicidal.
769
00:43:41,989 --> 00:43:43,479
OK.
770
00:43:44,725 --> 00:43:46,522
You're, you're very funny.

771
00:43:48,529 --> 00:43:51,862
Well, I'm gonna see you tomorrow...
right?
772
00:43:51,999 --> 00:43:54,229
...is almost impossible to calculate.
773
00:44:22,263 --> 00:44:23,252
Hi.
774
00:44:23,397 --> 00:44:24,796
- Hi.
- Hi.
775
00:44:24,932 --> 00:44:27,400
Hi. I...
776
00:44:27,535 --> 00:44:31,096
Sorry. I thought that I might
swing by to...
777
00:44:33,240 --> 00:44:34,764
...see if...
778
00:44:37,378 --> 00:44:39,312
What are you working on?
779
00:44:40,481 --> 00:44:41,675
We're working on a piece
780
00:44:41,816 --> 00:44:43,716
on the communist rebels
in the Philippines.
781
00:44:43,851 --> 00:44:46,911
Good. That sounds great. So I went to
the bar the other night to see you.
782
00:44:47,054 --> 00:44:50,251
Yeah, I could tell. By the way
you ran in the other direction.
783
00:44:50,391 --> 00:44:52,450
Your arms, pinwheeling.
784
00:44:57,064 --> 00:44:59,089

Yeah. OK, fair, true.

785
00:45:01,569 --> 00:45:03,298
I think that you're sort of...
786
00:45:04,505 --> 00:45:06,439
...comically great.
787
00:45:06,574 --> 00:45:10,101
And I thought it seemed
so promising so I bungled it,
788
00:45:10,244 --> 00:45:12,075
because that's what I do.
I bungle things.
789
00:45:12,213 --> 00:45:15,580
I bungle and I ramble, and that's
kind of like what I'm doing right now,
790
00:45:15,716 --> 00:45:18,879
talking about it.
You threw me off guard.
791
00:45:19,019 --> 00:45:21,214
You, with your...
792
00:45:21,355 --> 00:45:23,482
And the... and the, this...
793
00:45:23,624 --> 00:45:24,716
And the...
794
00:45:26,227 --> 00:45:28,457
My working on a loom?
795
00:45:28,596 --> 00:45:30,621
- My, my...
- No.
796
00:45:30,764 --> 00:45:34,723
- ...double-handed craps. My...
- I...
797
00:45:34,869 --> 00:45:37,963
- My Jazzercise.
- Rowing. Rowing.

798
00:45:38,105 --> 00:45:39,697
- Rowing?
- Championship?
799
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,638
I never would have got that.
800
00:45:42,776 --> 00:45:44,744
But you know what I mean.
801
00:45:44,879 --> 00:45:50,010
That I didn't think that you...
liked me.
802
00:45:50,150 --> 00:45:53,483
But I do. Oddly.
803
00:45:53,621 --> 00:45:56,215
You're... different.
804
00:45:56,357 --> 00:45:58,450
And a deeply terrible mime.
805
00:45:59,393 --> 00:46:02,191
Well, I asked you out.
Then when I saw you at the bar,
806
00:46:02,329 --> 00:46:05,230
I practically tackled you to the ground.
What part of that was confusing?
807
00:46:05,366 --> 00:46:07,664
Here, here, here, sit down.
808
00:46:07,801 --> 00:46:11,601
Look, my radar for that kind of thing
is so bad.
809
00:46:11,739 --> 00:46:15,334
I mean, I don't know if a man's
interested in me until he's naked.
810
00:46:15,476 --> 00:46:17,205
I mean, the pants come off
and then I'm like,

811
00:46:17,344 --> 00:46:19,778
"I guess you don't really want
to see my CD collection
812
00:46:19,914 --> 00:46:24,044
- or talk about Kerouac."
- You're nuts.
813
00:46:26,053 --> 00:46:28,044
OK, look.
814
00:46:28,188 --> 00:46:30,019
Let's start over.
815
00:46:30,157 --> 00:46:33,183
Let's go out to dinner
like... regular people.
816
00:46:33,327 --> 00:46:36,057
Just take it slowly,
just see where it leads.
817
00:46:36,196 --> 00:46:41,498
- How does that sound?
- That sounds perfect.
818
00:46:46,206 --> 00:46:48,299
Oh, God, I should go home.
819
00:46:49,443 --> 00:46:51,377
It's eight! It's eight already.
820
00:46:51,512 --> 00:46:55,004
- I know.
- It's Mike's first day tomorrow.
821
00:46:55,149 --> 00:46:56,912
- You should definitely go.
- What's the big whoop?
822
00:46:57,051 --> 00:46:59,713
I mean, you know, he's done this
like a million times before.
823
00:46:59,853 --> 00:47:02,151
- Yeah.
- And he knows exactly what he's doing.

824
00:47:02,289 --> 00:47:03,654
- Yeah.
- So...
825
00:47:03,791 --> 00:47:04,849
It's fine.
826
00:47:10,130 --> 00:47:12,792
He didn't open a bottle of
40-year-old Bruichladdich, did he?
827
00:47:14,068 --> 00:47:15,433
How do you know that?
828
00:47:17,605 --> 00:47:19,038
What?
829
00:47:19,773 --> 00:47:21,172
When I was working with him,
830
00:47:21,308 --> 00:47:24,505
if there was something that
he didn't want to do, the Oscars,
831
00:47:24,645 --> 00:47:27,443
the Olympics, something that people
might actually get a tiny twinge
832
00:47:27,581 --> 00:47:31,677
of pleasure from, the night before,
he would go on a bender.
833
00:47:32,219 --> 00:47:35,279
Call in sick for work the next day.
834
00:47:36,123 --> 00:47:39,650
No. No, no. This is ridiculous.
I'm not...
835
00:47:39,793 --> 00:47:41,818
I'm not going out there
and chasing him around.
836
00:47:41,962 --> 00:47:45,420
If he wants to screw this up,
that is his problem.

837
00:47:49,303 --> 00:47:52,670
- Start at Elaine's.
- Oh, God, thank you. Thank you.
838
00:47:54,274 --> 00:47:56,003
I'm sorry.
839
00:47:56,143 --> 00:47:58,008
We'll do it again sometime.
840
00:48:06,253 --> 00:48:07,777
Thanks.
841
00:48:10,357 --> 00:48:11,449
- Pomeroy?
- Yeah.
842
00:48:11,592 --> 00:48:13,457
He was here.
He left about an hour ago.
843
00:48:43,757 --> 00:48:45,816
Oh, no. The little woman.
844
00:48:46,727 --> 00:48:49,059
- Incoming.
- Jesus Christ, Pomeroy,
845
00:48:49,196 --> 00:48:51,027
they're getting younger and younger.
846
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,068
Mike... I need to talk to you.
847
00:48:56,203 --> 00:48:59,229
Why? Is the baby mine?
848
00:49:00,574 --> 00:49:04,203
I will have you know that this show
is very important to a lot of people,
849
00:49:04,344 --> 00:49:08,644
including but not limited to me.
My ass is on the line here.
850

00:49:08,782 --> 00:49:11,808

Actually, your ass is irrelevant.
851
00:49:11,952 --> 00:49:14,580
You're just a footnote. It's my ass,
852
00:49:14,722 --> 00:49:18,419
my reputation, my integrity, mine!
853
00:49:18,559 --> 00:49:21,187
"Mine!" You're such an egotistical,
selfish person!
854
00:49:21,328 --> 00:49:23,319
I'm on-air talent!
855
00:49:27,201 --> 00:49:28,896
Get in.
856
00:49:30,337 --> 00:49:31,565
Hey!
857
00:49:35,843 --> 00:49:38,243
OK, I'm home. You can leave.
858
00:49:38,378 --> 00:49:40,642
Oh, no. No.
859
00:49:45,119 --> 00:49:46,416
Wow.
860
00:49:53,761 --> 00:49:55,752
Oh, my God.
861
00:50:00,033 --> 00:50:02,001
- Is that a real...
- Good night
862
00:50:02,136 --> 00:50:04,036
Of course.
863
00:50:07,141 --> 00:50:11,271
Here we are
Just about the same
864
00:50:13,380 --> 00:50:15,507

You're alone tonight?

865
00:50:17,851 --> 00:50:19,284
Makes sense.
866
00:50:20,788 --> 00:50:22,688
Let me guess.
867
00:50:24,525 --> 00:50:26,356
You meet a guy.
868
00:50:26,493 --> 00:50:29,053
You have about three dates.
869
00:50:29,196 --> 00:50:32,063
Spend the whole time talking
about your job.
870
00:50:33,033 --> 00:50:35,558
He loses your phone number.
871
00:50:39,173 --> 00:50:42,506
Aside from your obvious father issues,
872
00:50:42,643 --> 00:50:44,338
what'd he do?
873
00:50:44,478 --> 00:50:46,503
Leave you? Die?
874
00:50:46,647 --> 00:50:50,606
You've got this... repellent moxie.
875
00:50:50,751 --> 00:50:53,015
Look at all the stories
you could be doing here.
876
00:50:53,153 --> 00:50:57,817
About art and hunting and fishing.
877
00:50:57,958 --> 00:51:00,688
I mean, you have grandchildren.
878
00:51:00,828 --> 00:51:03,160
I didn't even know you had kids.

879
00:51:04,264 --> 00:51:06,232
Look, we could be
doing parenting segments.
880
00:51:06,366 --> 00:51:08,766
You should invite them down
to the show.
881
00:51:10,671 --> 00:51:13,003
The ungrateful little bastards.
882
00:51:13,140 --> 00:51:14,937
I don't think so.
883
00:51:15,075 --> 00:51:17,305
Well, the little tour's over.
884
00:51:18,412 --> 00:51:20,812
Time to go back to your sad little life.
885
00:51:20,948 --> 00:51:24,213
I'm not going anywhere
until we are on the air.
886
00:51:24,351 --> 00:51:26,717
Well, please don't snore.
I'm a light sleeper.
887
00:51:26,854 --> 00:51:28,822
I'm not going to be sleeping.
888
00:51:28,956 --> 00:51:30,184
Just about the same
889
00:51:30,324 --> 00:51:34,886
Foggy little fella
Drowsy little dame
890
00:51:35,028 --> 00:51:39,658
Two sleepy people
by dawn's early light
891
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,768
And too much in love
to say good night
892

00:51:41,902 --> 00:51:42,960

Good night.
893
00:51:43,103 --> 00:51:45,697
- Good night.
- Good night.
894
00:52:43,297 --> 00:52:45,094
Let's go, girl.
895
00:52:53,774 --> 00:52:56,572
- What are you doing?
- Have you ever seen a real egg?
896
00:52:56,710 --> 00:52:59,804
These are from
pastured hens in Maryland.
897
00:52:59,947 --> 00:53:04,350
- We have to go.
- I have them delivered once a week.
898
00:53:04,484 --> 00:53:06,645
We have to go.
899
00:53:06,787 --> 00:53:09,722
Now, the beauty of a frittata
900
00:53:09,856 --> 00:53:12,416
is that it can be made
with any ingredient.
901
00:53:12,559 --> 00:53:14,959
Anything that's in your refrigerator.
902
00:53:15,095 --> 00:53:17,791
- Good. Get dressed.
- What? You want me to starve?
903
00:53:17,931 --> 00:53:20,263
I've got to be in tip-top shape.
904
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,767
I'm going to appear on national
television in front of...
905
00:53:23,904 --> 00:53:28,034

- What, six or eight people?

- Mike, come on.
906
00:53:29,242 --> 00:53:30,766
Coffee?
907
00:53:30,911 --> 00:53:34,870
What few people know
is that the frittata
908
00:53:35,015 --> 00:53:38,007
was meant to be eaten
at room temperature.
909
00:53:38,151 --> 00:53:40,210
- It was invented in Italy...
- Come on.
910
00:53:40,354 --> 00:53:43,619
- ...for the afternoon repast.
- Look, guess what?
911
00:53:43,757 --> 00:53:46,089
I don't really care
about your epicurean breakfast, OK?
912
00:53:46,226 --> 00:53:49,024
I just need you to walk faster,
because we are going to be late.
913
00:53:51,832 --> 00:53:54,733
Hey. Hello, there.
914
00:53:54,868 --> 00:53:57,564
- Where the hell have you been?
- It's a long story.
915
00:53:57,704 --> 00:53:59,467
She spent the night at my place.
916
00:54:05,679 --> 00:54:08,546
Come on, everyone.
I slept on the couch.
917
00:54:08,682 --> 00:54:13,312
Until I woke her up with my...
African rain stick.

918
00:54:17,324 --> 00:54:21,920
All right. OK. It's Mike's first show,
so it's a really big day for us.
919
00:54:22,062 --> 00:54:24,587
- Fire me today.
- Yeah, so let's go...
920
00:54:24,731 --> 00:54:26,096
through the lineup from the top.
921
00:54:26,333 --> 00:54:27,265
One more time.
922
00:54:27,401 --> 00:54:30,393
We start with eight, full track.
We'll be cutting to nine with announce.
923
00:54:30,537 --> 00:54:33,005
Nine will reveal the jib.
Jib, start a little wider.
924
00:54:33,140 --> 00:54:36,303
OK. What are they promo-ing
on the Today show today?
925
00:54:36,443 --> 00:54:38,434
- What aren't they promo-ing?
- What?
926
00:54:39,913 --> 00:54:41,710
Crap. No.
Vieira scored that interview
927
00:54:41,848 --> 00:54:45,215
with the drunk-driving
Playboy Playmate? What's on G.M.A.?
928
00:54:45,352 --> 00:54:47,912
- Well, she's doin' Clooney. Yeah.
- Bitch.
929
00:54:48,055 --> 00:54:51,582
Try not to bore the nation into a coma
with your dull news crap, OK?
930
00:54:51,725 --> 00:54:53,693

Yes, certainly.
931
00:54:53,827 --> 00:54:56,625
Oh, and... suck it.
932
00:54:57,931 --> 00:55:01,025
Well, they look great together,
so that's promising.
933
00:55:01,168 --> 00:55:02,897
Oh, heavenly ghost
of Edward R. Murrow.
934
00:55:03,036 --> 00:55:06,130
OK, the Jewish guy is crossing himself,
so we're confident.
935
00:55:06,273 --> 00:55:08,002
Thirty seconds to air.
Everybody ready?
936
00:55:08,141 --> 00:55:09,267
They know about the cake?
937
00:55:09,409 --> 00:55:11,741
Everybody does? Stage manager's
got that covered? Good.
938
00:55:11,878 --> 00:55:14,244
- Cake is good to go. D-Day.
- I want the double matte through
939
00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:18,112
both names, both names.
Great. OK, stand by...
940
00:55:18,251 --> 00:55:20,776
Stand by, ticker.
Stand by, Deko, that's great.
941
00:55:20,921 --> 00:55:22,650
- You ready for this?
- I'm ready. Are you ready?
942
00:55:22,789 --> 00:55:25,883
Stand by, announce.
Ready to roll nine.

943
00:55:26,026 --> 00:55:28,426
Here we go and roll nine.
Take nine.
944
00:55:28,562 --> 00:55:31,053
- We're good so far.
- Stand by to go on four.
945
00:55:31,198 --> 00:55:33,257
- And... here we go.
- ...on Daybreak.
946
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:34,697
- And go on four.
- Seven.
947
00:55:34,835 --> 00:55:36,166
- Reveals four.
- There they are.
948
00:55:36,303 --> 00:55:39,238
- Five.
- Four, three...
949
00:55:39,372 --> 00:55:43,138
- ...and Mike Pomeroy.
- Go dissolve to Mike and cue them.
950
00:55:43,276 --> 00:55:44,504
Good morning, everyone.
951
00:55:44,644 --> 00:55:48,876
Before we begin, today is
a historic moment here on Daybreak.
952
00:55:49,015 --> 00:55:52,781
Today's the day that Mike Pomeroy
Joins our little show.
953
00:55:52,919 --> 00:55:56,355
We are so lucky to have a Journalist
of your caliber here with us, Mike.
954
00:55:56,490 --> 00:55:59,084
We're Just... what can we say except,
welcome, welcome.
955

00:55:59,226 --> 00:56:01,524

Yes.
956
00:56:01,661 --> 00:56:03,788
- He said yes.
- That's it?
957
00:56:03,930 --> 00:56:06,865
- Yes? He said yes.
- Yes. You got to be kidding me.
958
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,297
- That's great.
- That's all it is.
959
00:56:08,435 --> 00:56:10,630
- Bring on the cake.
- We have a little surprise for you.
960
00:56:10,770 --> 00:56:14,706
- Push in the cake.
- Happy First Day to you
961
00:56:14,841 --> 00:56:17,776
- Happy First Day to you
- Ready three on Jane.
962
00:56:17,911 --> 00:56:21,142
- Happy First...
- Thank you.
963
00:56:21,281 --> 00:56:23,681
- Now on to today's top stories.
- Go, take it.
964
00:56:23,817 --> 00:56:27,776
In Texas today, severe weather
continues to plague the Gulf Coast.
965
00:56:27,921 --> 00:56:30,617
He's not buyin' it. Wow.
966
00:56:30,757 --> 00:56:33,521
OK, all right, very good.
So far, he's a cozy blanket.
967
00:56:33,660 --> 00:56:36,322
I need 22. Great.

968
00:56:36,463 --> 00:56:39,125
...sexual offender is a Caucasian male
in his late thirties,
969
00:56:39,266 --> 00:56:42,463
approximately six feet tall.
He apparently works alone,
970
00:56:42,602 --> 00:56:45,833
gaining access to homes through
unlocked windows and doors.
971
00:56:45,972 --> 00:56:47,667
- Stand by to change.
- Local police in Milwaukee
972
00:56:47,807 --> 00:56:51,334
are asking anyone who recognizes this
sketch to contact them immediately.
973
00:56:51,478 --> 00:56:53,946
- Change your graphic. And change it.
- In other news,
974
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:57,607
former President Jimmy Carter
continued his campaign
975
00:56:57,751 --> 00:56:59,912
- for human rights in BeiJing this week.
- Hey!
976
00:57:00,053 --> 00:57:01,350
- What?
- Guys, the...
977
00:57:01,488 --> 00:57:02,921
- The graphic.
- Are you...?
978
00:57:03,056 --> 00:57:05,718
- Change the graphic!
- See, the thing on the...
979
00:57:05,859 --> 00:57:07,156
- ...on the graphic.
- Lose the graphic!

980
00:57:07,294 --> 00:57:08,283
- Guys!
- Lose it!
981
00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:11,864
Get the... the font on the graphic,
like the type on the...
982
00:57:11,998 --> 00:57:13,761
- Please.
- China has been accused
983
00:57:13,900 --> 00:57:17,199
- by detractors of backsliding...
- You just...
984
00:57:17,337 --> 00:57:20,568
Yep, yep. Yep, yep, yep.
985
00:57:20,707 --> 00:57:22,675
Stand by to change. Deko in.
986
00:57:22,809 --> 00:57:23,901
We're going to weather.
987
00:57:24,044 --> 00:57:26,376
For first look at weather,
here's Ernie Appleby.
988
00:57:26,513 --> 00:57:28,003
Thanks, Colleen.
989
00:57:28,148 --> 00:57:31,117
I'd like to take a moment to welcome
Mike Pomeroy to his first broadcast.
990
00:57:31,251 --> 00:57:35,278
As one hurricane said to another,
I have my eye on you.
991
00:57:39,626 --> 00:57:42,117
And lookin' across the country today,
you'll see we still have
992
00:57:42,262 --> 00:57:44,253
that high-pressure system

comin' out of the Midwest.

993
00:57:44,397 --> 00:57:46,922
We'll dissolve to tape.
Tape, stand by.
994
00:57:47,067 --> 00:57:49,592
I want a center shot. Just keep...
Just center on one. Center on one.
995
00:57:49,736 --> 00:57:52,534
That's perfect. Here we...
OK, great. Ready one. Ready two.
996
00:57:52,672 --> 00:57:54,105
And go two.
997
00:57:54,241 --> 00:57:55,936
Dissolve to Mike, and cue them.
998
00:57:56,076 --> 00:57:57,907
And ticker in.
999
00:57:58,044 --> 00:58:00,979
Tomorrow on Daybreak, we'll show you
eight things you didn't know
1000
00:58:01,114 --> 00:58:03,742
you could do with potatoes.
Should be fun.
1001
00:58:03,883 --> 00:58:08,081
Also, we'll talk to some relief workers
who say the international community
1002
00:58:08,221 --> 00:58:10,985
- has abrogated its duty to protect...
- What the hell is abrogated?
1003
00:58:11,124 --> 00:58:12,989
That wasn't on the teleprompter.
1004
00:58:13,126 --> 00:58:15,856
- Ready to widen on two.
- And that's our show for this morning.
1005
00:58:15,996 --> 00:58:18,590

Welcome to the Daybreak family, Mike.

1006
00:58:18,732 --> 00:58:22,634
- And thank you...
- Thank you, everyone. Goodbye.
1007
00:58:22,769 --> 00:58:24,464
Goodbye.
1008
00:58:25,672 --> 00:58:27,139
Goodbye.
1009
00:58:27,274 --> 00:58:28,605
Goodbye.
1010
00:58:29,175 --> 00:58:31,040
- Goodbye.
- How many is that?
1011
00:58:31,177 --> 00:58:33,475
- Goodbye.
- Three each.
1012
00:58:33,613 --> 00:58:36,275
- Bye.
- And we're out!
1013
00:58:36,416 --> 00:58:39,908
- Fade to black. Here we go.
- Bye-bye.
1014
00:58:42,289 --> 00:58:43,278
You know what you are?
1015
00:58:43,423 --> 00:58:46,051
Excuse me for saying this,
but you're an asshole, OK?
1016
00:58:46,192 --> 00:58:50,219
- Becky! What's her last name?
- You said you would banter!
1017
00:58:50,363 --> 00:58:53,526
No, no, no, no.
You said I would banter.
1018
00:58:53,667 --> 00:58:55,999

I said I would anchor a news show.

1019
00:58:56,136 --> 00:59:00,038
That's what my contract calls for.
And that's what I'm going to do.
1020
00:59:00,173 --> 00:59:03,108
But, Mike, you can't just go out there
and give monosyllabic answers
1021
00:59:03,243 --> 00:59:06,610
- and talk about natural disasters!
- Are you sure?
1022
00:59:06,746 --> 00:59:10,375
'Cause I think that's what I just did.
Anyway, what are you doing here?
1023
00:59:10,517 --> 00:59:11,814
You have to get back to your office
1024
00:59:11,951 --> 00:59:14,351
and wait for your phone call
from Jimmy Carter.
1025
00:59:14,487 --> 00:59:19,618
- What?
- Jimmy Carter, "sexual offender."
1026
00:59:19,759 --> 00:59:22,227
Now, go away, I'm busy.
1027
00:59:22,362 --> 00:59:25,388
- But Mike, can you just promise...
- Go away.
1028
00:59:27,267 --> 00:59:30,293
Go away. I just go away!
1029
00:59:37,510 --> 00:59:40,536
Hey. It wasn't that bad.
1030
00:59:45,118 --> 00:59:47,382
I don't wanna talk about it.
1031
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:48,748
OK.

1032
00:59:52,025 --> 00:59:53,549
There's a plan.
1033
01:00:00,467 --> 01:00:01,900
Sorry, just...
1034
01:00:02,602 --> 01:00:03,591
Hey.
1035
01:00:05,939 --> 01:00:08,271
I may need to see who that is.
1036
01:00:09,209 --> 01:00:11,734
- OK. What if something happens?
- Then someone else
1037
01:00:11,878 --> 01:00:14,108
will cover the world's biggest pumpkin.
1038
01:00:15,448 --> 01:00:16,676
- That's not fair.
- No.
1039
01:00:16,816 --> 01:00:18,807
No. Because you work for
a magazine show.
1040
01:00:18,952 --> 01:00:20,783
- Yes.
- And you do one 15-minute story
1041
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:22,478
- every two months.
- That's right.
1042
01:00:22,622 --> 01:00:26,888
And we are doing 15 stories a day,
none more than three minutes each,
1043
01:00:27,026 --> 01:00:29,392
I mean, maybe three and a half,
if it's the President
1044
01:00:29,529 --> 01:00:31,997
or they're nude photos or something...

1045
01:00:32,132 --> 01:00:34,600
How reliable
is your alarm clock?
1046
01:00:43,076 --> 01:00:46,637
...is making progress.
However, one good piece of news
1047
01:00:46,780 --> 01:00:49,874
- is that the winds have come in...
- What's goin' on?
1048
01:00:50,016 --> 01:00:52,314
Fire out west.
They're looking for an arsonist
1049
01:00:52,452 --> 01:00:55,421
and they think that he might have
set the fire, like, three weeks ago?
1050
01:00:55,555 --> 01:00:56,920
He could be a serial offender.
1051
01:00:57,056 --> 01:00:59,820
- It's the middle of the night.
- I'm sorry.
1052
01:01:01,694 --> 01:01:05,824
I have had such a lovely time.
1053
01:01:05,965 --> 01:01:08,627
I really have and I...
1054
01:01:08,768 --> 01:01:12,295
- I'm so glad that we...
- Go.
1055
01:01:13,506 --> 01:01:16,703
- What?
- You want to go. You should go.
1056
01:01:19,112 --> 01:01:21,012
Are you sure about that?
1057
01:01:22,549 --> 01:01:23,914
Get out of here.

1058
01:01:31,257 --> 01:01:32,485
Thank you.
1059
01:02:27,947 --> 01:02:30,438
Good Morning America
got the mother of the arsonist.
1060
01:02:30,583 --> 01:02:34,542
What? Ass!
1061
01:02:35,922 --> 01:02:40,916
Don't. All right, I need
an arsonist spouse or something.
1062
01:02:41,060 --> 01:02:42,721
- Damn it.
- So you're gettin'scooped
1063
01:02:42,862 --> 01:02:46,662
like every morning. How come?
I mean, do you have any kind of plan?
1064
01:02:46,799 --> 01:02:49,393
Yes, the show will still...
need some fine-tuning...
1065
01:02:49,536 --> 01:02:51,663
Fine-tuning? Really?
1066
01:02:51,804 --> 01:02:53,465
Can you tune something
when nothing is working?
1067
01:02:53,606 --> 01:02:56,074
Mike Pomeroy is the key
to making this show work.
1068
01:02:56,209 --> 01:02:58,700
Well, at the moment, he's ruining
your show, and to be honest,
1069
01:02:58,845 --> 01:03:00,870
you haven't got much time
for fine-tuning, right?
1070
01:03:01,014 --> 01:03:03,346
- Yeah. I'm not worried.

- You're... Really?
1071
01:03:03,483 --> 01:03:04,950
I'm not worried.
1072
01:03:05,084 --> 01:03:07,382
How about profiles?
We're doing a piece on Daniel Boulud.
1073
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:10,546
Does it end with me in
the kitchen making profiterole?
1074
01:03:10,690 --> 01:03:11,748
No.
1075
01:03:12,792 --> 01:03:15,420
Cornish hens.
OK, forget that.
1076
01:03:15,562 --> 01:03:18,497
How about an interview
with Tim McGraw and Faith Hill?
1077
01:03:18,631 --> 01:03:22,590
Either one of them becomes president
or cures cancer, let me know.
1078
01:03:22,735 --> 01:03:24,930
But I do have one good lead.
1079
01:03:25,071 --> 01:03:27,005
Yeah? Yeah, really?
1080
01:03:27,140 --> 01:03:32,009
- I hear you're dating Seor Dipshit.
- What?
1081
01:03:32,145 --> 01:03:34,272
- How did you make that happen?
- Who told you that?
1082
01:03:34,414 --> 01:03:37,076
- Him and you, really?
- No, I'm...
1083
01:03:37,216 --> 01:03:40,743

Because usually, you know, he dates

girls that are sort of, you know with...
1084
01:03:40,887 --> 01:03:43,822
Taffy pullers with...
heavy meatballs?
1085
01:03:43,957 --> 01:03:46,983
There's a developing story
coming out of Albany, though.
1086
01:03:47,126 --> 01:03:49,321
The governor's
tax returns are being audited.
1087
01:03:49,462 --> 01:03:52,625
Oh, for God's sakes,
you're killing me, no!
1088
01:03:52,765 --> 01:03:55,359
- I want people to get to know you.
- No, you don't.
1089
01:03:55,501 --> 01:03:59,267
You want me to pander so you can
sell erectile dysfunction medication.
1090
01:03:59,405 --> 01:04:01,032
- Oh, no, I don't.
- Well, I won't!
1091
01:04:01,174 --> 01:04:03,165
Oh, my God!
It's you, you're that guy!
1092
01:04:03,309 --> 01:04:06,403
I just saw you this morning and
everyone was eating stuffed zucchini,
1093
01:04:06,546 --> 01:04:09,208
and you were cranky about it. I was
like, "Oh, my God, there's that guy!"
1094
01:04:09,349 --> 01:04:12,011
You used to do news, right?
Like a while ago? It's...
1095
01:04:13,386 --> 01:04:15,752

Please, remove your hand

from my person. Thank you.
1096
01:04:15,888 --> 01:04:20,257
This is great! Thank you!
I can't believe it! Dan Rather!
1097
01:04:21,194 --> 01:04:24,027
- Dan Rather!
- See? People want to like you.
1098
01:04:24,163 --> 01:04:26,495
You're...
you're in their home every day,
1099
01:04:26,633 --> 01:04:28,828
and, you know,
it's an honor and, you know,
1100
01:04:28,968 --> 01:04:32,927
why can't you just do stories
people might enjoy? Mike...
1101
01:04:33,606 --> 01:04:35,540
We're in trouble. I'm in trouble.
1102
01:04:35,675 --> 01:04:37,575
Help me, please.
1103
01:04:39,946 --> 01:04:43,074
Dan Rather. For Christ's sake.
1104
01:04:43,216 --> 01:04:45,514
Becky! Becky!
1105
01:04:45,652 --> 01:04:47,381
Becky.
1106
01:04:47,520 --> 01:04:50,956
I have a great idea for a segment.
Get ready for this.
1107
01:04:51,090 --> 01:04:54,491
Past lives.
If we could find out who celebrities
1108
01:04:54,627 --> 01:04:57,790

had been in their past lives, I think

that would be terrific, don't you?
1109
01:04:57,930 --> 01:05:03,493
I mean, what if Justin Timberlake
had been Abraham Lincoln?
1110
01:05:04,270 --> 01:05:08,297
Many actors have changed their names
to be taken more seriously.
1111
01:05:08,441 --> 01:05:10,170
Ricky Schroder became Rick.
1112
01:05:10,309 --> 01:05:12,743
The Rock became Dwayne Johnson.
1113
01:05:12,879 --> 01:05:15,313
And Portia de Rossi's
name used to be Amanda,
1114
01:05:15,448 --> 01:05:18,042
but she changed it so as to
sound more like the car,
1115
01:05:18,184 --> 01:05:20,652
which she felt sounded
more impressorial.
1116
01:05:20,787 --> 01:05:24,245
A new name has become the latest,
hottest accessory for celebrities,
1117
01:05:24,390 --> 01:05:26,017
like a Birkin bag or a baby.
1118
01:05:26,159 --> 01:05:28,684
Back to you, Mike or Michael.
1119
01:05:28,828 --> 01:05:32,229
- Dissolve to Mike and ticker in.
- How did she get here?
1120
01:05:32,365 --> 01:05:36,495
- Don't ask.
- What? Is she sleeping with someone?
1121

01:05:38,604 --> 01:05:39,866

Pardon me?
1122
01:05:40,907 --> 01:05:42,340
Thanks.
1123
01:05:52,385 --> 01:05:55,548
- Have you seen these?
- Yes, but...
1124
01:05:55,688 --> 01:05:58,054
You want to make the ratings worse?
That's why you came here?
1125
01:05:58,191 --> 01:06:02,787
Well, no.
Mike is still getting up to speed.
1126
01:06:02,929 --> 01:06:04,658
- I'm working on a couple elements.
- Gettin' Mike up to speed?
1127
01:06:04,797 --> 01:06:06,958
- Yeah.
- You're circling the drain.
1128
01:06:07,100 --> 01:06:10,592
You rarely book anybody decent
because of the ratings.
1129
01:06:10,737 --> 01:06:12,967
- You're not gettin' any big interviews.
- We just need more time.
1130
01:06:13,106 --> 01:06:16,371
- Just a little...
- God, you're, you're more nave
1131
01:06:16,509 --> 01:06:20,275
- than I thought, aren't ya?
- Excuse me?
1132
01:06:20,413 --> 01:06:23,871
The network wants to cancel the show.
1133
01:06:24,851 --> 01:06:28,514
They want to run game shows
and syndicated talk instead.

1134
01:06:30,923 --> 01:06:32,857
For a second,
I thought you might have a shot,
1135
01:06:32,992 --> 01:06:34,721
especially when you got Pomeroy.
But the joke's on me,
1136
01:06:34,861 --> 01:06:37,455
'cause it turns out you failed even more
completely than the network thought.
1137
01:06:37,597 --> 01:06:39,690
In six weeks, they cancel the show.
1138
01:06:39,832 --> 01:06:42,323
Not only will you have significantly
weakened our news division,
1139
01:06:42,468 --> 01:06:44,459
you will have presided over the
demise of a show that's been on the air
1140
01:06:44,604 --> 01:06:46,538
for 47 years! Nice work.
1141
01:06:46,672 --> 01:06:50,039
Why don't you go over to PBS and see
if you can kill Sesame Street.
1142
01:06:53,980 --> 01:06:56,039
Go. You've wasted enough of my time.
1143
01:06:57,917 --> 01:07:01,250
We have six weeks.
Can you just not tell anyone yet?
1144
01:07:01,387 --> 01:07:03,514
Because morale isn't exactly at a peak.
1145
01:07:03,656 --> 01:07:06,420
Fine. Tell 'em when you want to.
It doesn't really matter, does it?
1146
01:07:08,294 --> 01:07:10,592
Piper, get Phil Griffin on the phone.

1147
01:07:10,730 --> 01:07:12,288
Tell him if I don't hear
from him by 5:00,
1148
01:07:12,431 --> 01:07:15,832
those Super Bowl tickets
go to Phyllis McGrady!
1149
01:07:15,968 --> 01:07:18,095
...Joins us
now with details. Roger.
1150
01:07:18,237 --> 01:07:21,331
It certainly is a happy day
here on Lincoln Road
1151
01:07:21,474 --> 01:07:23,465
between Bedford Avenue
and Rogers Avenue.
1152
01:07:23,609 --> 01:07:25,873
This is, yes, officials...
1153
01:07:32,852 --> 01:07:34,149
- We're live at five, people.
- OK.
1154
01:07:34,287 --> 01:07:37,688
Feathery, fleecy, flocculent?
1155
01:07:37,824 --> 01:07:41,851
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
- What? What's going on now?
1156
01:07:41,994 --> 01:07:44,861
Mike is offended by a word
in the next story.
1157
01:07:44,997 --> 01:07:47,898
He's offended.
It's about Easter chicks.
1158
01:07:48,034 --> 01:07:49,695
I'm not saying the word "fluffy."
1159
01:07:49,836 --> 01:07:52,236

It's bad enough I have to do

these ridiculous stories.
1160
01:07:52,371 --> 01:07:54,271
You know what, buddy?
Guess what? Last week,
1161
01:07:54,407 --> 01:07:57,205
I had to use the words "rectal"
and "moisture" in the same sentence.
1162
01:07:57,343 --> 01:08:01,074
- Well, first dates can be awkward.
- Mike!
1163
01:08:01,214 --> 01:08:02,238
- Becky...
- That's it!
1164
01:08:02,381 --> 01:08:05,407
- Becky, Becky, what are you doin'?
- I've had enough!
1165
01:08:06,485 --> 01:08:09,181
- Mike? I need to talk to you.
- Becky, we're back in 60.
1166
01:08:09,322 --> 01:08:11,847
I'm sorry, this'll just take a second.
1167
01:08:11,991 --> 01:08:15,051
I've looked up to you all my life.
1168
01:08:15,194 --> 01:08:19,096
You know that? I actually idolized you.
My dad and I used to watch you on TV.
1169
01:08:19,232 --> 01:08:22,463
So just, you know, imagine
my surprise when it turns out
1170
01:08:22,602 --> 01:08:25,765
that you're actually the worst person
in the entire world.
1171
01:08:25,905 --> 01:08:29,739
- Not the third worst! The worst!
- What's goin' on?

1172
01:08:29,876 --> 01:08:33,403
Pomeroy.
He broke the latest Daybreak EP.
1173
01:08:33,546 --> 01:08:35,411
...how lucky we all are
to have these Jobs,
1174
01:08:35,548 --> 01:08:37,379
- how quickly that can be taken away.
- We're back in...
1175
01:08:37,516 --> 01:08:40,417
And there's this guy, this really
kind of great, smokin' guy
1176
01:08:40,553 --> 01:08:43,716
who can actually stand me
long enough to have sex with me.
1177
01:08:45,825 --> 01:08:48,817
And you know what? It's all just
a big mess. Because of you!
1178
01:08:48,961 --> 01:08:51,896
You know, nobody can do
their jobs well around here
1179
01:08:52,031 --> 01:08:55,262
because you can't be bothered
to do yours at all!
1180
01:08:55,401 --> 01:08:59,861
And we're back.
1181
01:09:00,006 --> 01:09:03,100
Welcome back to Daybreak. And now,
with a check of the weather,
1182
01:09:03,242 --> 01:09:05,301
- here's Ernie.
- Take Ernie on the plaza.
1183
01:09:05,444 --> 01:09:09,244
Thanks, Colleen. Surprisingly toasty day
out here, isn't it, folks?

1184
01:09:09,382 --> 01:09:12,215
Yeah!
1185
01:09:12,351 --> 01:09:15,684
Good day to break out the bikini.
I know I'm wearing mine right now.
1186
01:09:17,056 --> 01:09:20,651
All right. Well, what do we have here?
1187
01:09:20,793 --> 01:09:22,727
Goodness, honey.
I did not put her up to this.
1188
01:09:22,862 --> 01:09:24,762
- Coke? Diet Coke?
- No, I don't want a Diet Coke.
1189
01:09:24,897 --> 01:09:26,125
Step aside!
1190
01:09:29,402 --> 01:09:33,668
- Jerry, I would like to talk to you.
- You're gonna bust a cap in my ass?
1191
01:09:33,806 --> 01:09:37,742
What if I get the ratings up?
We've got six weeks.
1192
01:09:37,877 --> 01:09:39,742
What if I move that needle just enough?
1193
01:09:39,879 --> 01:09:42,177
- You won't.
- We'll, you're... you don't know that.
1194
01:09:42,315 --> 01:09:43,612
- Becky.
- There's got to be some number
1195
01:09:43,749 --> 01:09:46,741
I can hit that will give us a shot, that
would give us an extra six months,
1196
01:09:46,886 --> 01:09:49,081
- something.
- Sure, if you got over one point five

1197
01:09:49,221 --> 01:09:52,588
- or something absurd like that...
- Done! So I've got your word?
1198
01:09:52,725 --> 01:09:54,625
I get those ratings up more
than three quarters of a point,
1199
01:09:54,760 --> 01:09:57,092
- you give me more time?
- It won't happen.
1200
01:09:57,229 --> 01:10:00,096
We'll see about that.
1201
01:10:01,500 --> 01:10:02,967
And your girlfriend Lisa?
1202
01:10:03,102 --> 01:10:05,570
Can you get her a dictionary
and stick her on somebody else's show?
1203
01:10:05,705 --> 01:10:07,639
'Cause she's killing me.
1204
01:10:11,444 --> 01:10:15,039
Wow, well, look who the wind blew in!
What happened to you?
1205
01:10:15,181 --> 01:10:17,615
Well, we're gonna change a few things.
1206
01:10:17,750 --> 01:10:19,718
- OK.
- Is Ernie in place?
1207
01:10:19,852 --> 01:10:23,049
Yes, he is. He'll be interviewing people
as they come off the coaster.
1208
01:10:23,189 --> 01:10:27,182
No, he won't. Not anymore, he's not.
We're gonna put him on that coaster.
1209
01:10:27,326 --> 01:10:30,989
We're gonna strap a handheld to the car

in front of him and then go live. Boom.

1210
01:10:31,130 --> 01:10:34,065
It's called "picking up the game,"
people. OK? So from now on,
1211
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:37,727
every single story that we do,
it's gonna have to be sensational!
1212
01:10:37,870 --> 01:10:40,134
We're gonna be more aggressive.
We're gonna work harder.
1213
01:10:40,272 --> 01:10:41,432
And we're gonna do it right now.
1214
01:10:43,242 --> 01:10:46,109
- Are, are you gonna...?
- I'm not gonna sing!
1215
01:10:46,245 --> 01:10:47,678
Why do people ask me that?
1216
01:10:47,813 --> 01:10:50,907
So the big question is,
are we gonna be able to hear his mic?
1217
01:10:51,050 --> 01:10:53,985
Yes, we will.
If he has a heart attack,
1218
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,918
we'll be able to capture
every heartrending scream.
1219
01:10:57,056 --> 01:10:59,991
- Really? Great.
- Cue her.
1220
01:11:00,126 --> 01:11:02,356
Thrill-seekers have something to look
forward to this summer
1221
01:11:02,495 --> 01:11:05,589
as Six Flags unveils
a brand-new roller coaster.

1222
01:11:05,731 --> 01:11:08,825
The "Manhandler" is
the fastest coaster in the U.S.
1223
01:11:08,968 --> 01:11:13,029
- with speeds up to 130 miles an hour...
- Stand Ernie by. Here we go.
1224
01:11:13,172 --> 01:11:16,835
...ninety-five degrees. Our own
Ernie Appleby is getting a sneak peek
1225
01:11:16,976 --> 01:11:19,410
at this amazing new ride,
isn't that right, Ernie?
1226
01:11:19,545 --> 01:11:22,343
- Standing by. Open his mic.
- Ernie, can you hear us?
1227
01:11:22,481 --> 01:11:26,383
Yes. Yes, I can. And so far,
it's a beautiful ride.
1228
01:11:26,519 --> 01:11:29,852
Quite an amazing view from up here.
1229
01:11:29,989 --> 01:11:32,651
Mostly blue skies.
Cumulus clouds on the horizon,
1230
01:11:32,792 --> 01:11:34,259
always a good sign this time of year.
1231
01:11:35,394 --> 01:11:37,794
Might be heading into our first dip.
1232
01:11:37,930 --> 01:11:42,458
Oh, my. Oh, my.
1233
01:11:42,601 --> 01:11:46,128
Oh, fu...
1234
01:11:54,513 --> 01:11:56,071
No!
1235

01:11:57,616 --> 01:12:00,642

Oh, yeah. No, this is a great idea.
1236
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:10,388
- Please, make it stop!
- Take two.
1237
01:12:13,232 --> 01:12:16,929
What are you gonna do to him next?
Strap electrodes to his balls?
1238
01:12:17,069 --> 01:12:20,800
I actually felt sorry for that
animatronic puppet asshole.
1239
01:12:20,940 --> 01:12:23,932
Hey, look, we got 80,000 hits
on YouTube already.
1240
01:12:24,076 --> 01:12:26,738
And Ernie is absolutely thrilled.
And by the way,
1241
01:12:26,879 --> 01:12:28,369
we had another bump
in the minute-to-minutes.
1242
01:12:28,514 --> 01:12:32,041
- Becky, good stuff.
- Thank you! Lighten up, Mike.
1243
01:12:32,184 --> 01:12:34,846
You know what I've noticed?
People only say, "Lighten up"
1244
01:12:34,987 --> 01:12:37,285
when they're gonna stick
their fist up your ass.
1245
01:12:37,423 --> 01:12:39,084
Well, you know what?
I hate to break it to you,
1246
01:12:39,225 --> 01:12:41,250
- but the fact is...
- Oh, my God, amazing segment.
1247
01:12:41,393 --> 01:12:46,126

Thank you. The world has been debating

news versus entertainment for years
1248
01:12:46,265 --> 01:12:48,324
and guess what?
Mike, your side lost.
1249
01:12:48,467 --> 01:12:51,766
- You know what?
- What?
1250
01:12:51,904 --> 01:12:55,271
You're wrong. People are smart.
1251
01:12:55,407 --> 01:12:59,366
They want information. Not junk, which
is all you're willing to give them.
1252
01:12:59,512 --> 01:13:02,538
- Junk. Sugar, sugar, sugar.
- Excuse me.
1253
01:13:02,681 --> 01:13:04,376
- OK.
- And more sugar.
1254
01:13:04,517 --> 01:13:07,077
Yeah, well, what would you
have them do, Mike?
1255
01:13:07,219 --> 01:13:13,215
Eat bran all day?
Fiber, fiber, fiber?
1256
01:13:13,359 --> 01:13:15,987
We have to get the ratings up, Mike,
1257
01:13:16,128 --> 01:13:20,861
or we can have a lot of high-minded
ideas and not be on the air.
1258
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:24,128
This show may go down, but it's not
because I'm not trying my hardest.
1259
01:13:24,270 --> 01:13:29,173
You hear me? I don't care what you do,
but I'm not giving up.

1260
01:13:32,411 --> 01:13:33,345
I wanna talk to you. I wanna talk
to you right now about Ernie.
1261
01:13:33,345 --> 01:13:35,575
I wanna talk to you. I wanna talk
to you right now about Ernie.
1262
01:13:35,714 --> 01:13:37,147
- Oh, my God, you, too?
- Yes.
1263
01:13:37,283 --> 01:13:39,080
Why is everyone worried about Ernie?
You know, he's a grown man.
1264
01:13:39,218 --> 01:13:40,776
- Worried about Ernie? You kidding me?
- He signed release forms.
1265
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:43,912
He's a hack.
Look, I see what you're doing.
1266
01:13:44,056 --> 01:13:46,547
I think it's great. It's exactly
what I've been waiting for,
1267
01:13:46,692 --> 01:13:49,024
so just, you know, sign me up, coach.
Put me in.
1268
01:13:49,161 --> 01:13:51,061
- Whatever you want to call it.
- Really?
1269
01:13:51,197 --> 01:13:52,391
Yeah.
1270
01:13:53,465 --> 01:13:55,433
Do you have any preexisting conditions?
1271
01:13:55,568 --> 01:13:58,867
Are you kidding? Look at me.
I'm a rock.
1272

01:14:08,614 --> 01:14:09,876

Would you like to hold him?
1273
01:14:10,015 --> 01:14:12,813
I would love to hold it,
dear little thing.
1274
01:14:12,952 --> 01:14:14,817
Watch it.
Careful he doesn't go in there.
1275
01:14:14,954 --> 01:14:15,943
Can you get it out though?
1276
01:14:17,323 --> 01:14:19,587
Mike wanted to be here for this.
Mike Pomeroy.
1277
01:14:19,725 --> 01:14:23,684
You know how he is.
He loves animals.
1278
01:14:23,829 --> 01:14:25,387
Have you just... You...
And then...
1279
01:14:43,816 --> 01:14:46,478
Those are frog lips.
Does a frog open its lips ever?
1280
01:14:46,619 --> 01:14:48,610
Ready four, take four.
Ready one. Take one.
1281
01:14:48,754 --> 01:14:50,449
Ready one. Take it.
1282
01:14:50,589 --> 01:14:52,250
- I would never do that.
- Kiss it.
1283
01:14:52,391 --> 01:14:54,985
How about a big kiss, sucker?
1284
01:15:00,332 --> 01:15:01,924
That's a little, that's wrong.
1285

01:15:04,236 --> 01:15:06,067

That was so good. Do it again.
1286
01:15:12,444 --> 01:15:15,242
Fitty, Fitty! Mr. Cent?
Hi! Fan.
1287
01:15:15,381 --> 01:15:17,906
Big fan!
Take you to the candy shop
1288
01:15:18,050 --> 01:15:19,813
- Whoa, let you lick
- I heard the song.
1289
01:15:19,952 --> 01:15:22,750
I'm a producer for Daybreak and we
would so love to have you on our show.
1290
01:15:22,888 --> 01:15:24,822
We'd give you twice as much time
as the Today show.
1291
01:15:24,957 --> 01:15:28,723
And you could play four songs from
your new record. Just think about it.
1292
01:15:29,995 --> 01:15:32,225
I'll take you to the candy shop
1293
01:15:32,364 --> 01:15:34,127
I'll let you lick the lollypop
1294
01:15:34,266 --> 01:15:36,700
- Oh!
- Go 'head girl, Don't you stop
1295
01:15:36,835 --> 01:15:37,802
Yeah!
1296
01:15:37,936 --> 01:15:39,801
Keep going 'til you hit the spot, whoa!
1297
01:15:39,938 --> 01:15:42,168
I'll take you to the candy shop
1298
01:15:42,308 --> 01:15:44,037

Boy one taste of what I got

1299
01:15:44,643 --> 01:15:46,133
I'll have you spending all you got...
1300
01:15:46,278 --> 01:15:47,540
Ready one, take one! Ready two!
1301
01:15:59,992 --> 01:16:00,981
Well!
1302
01:16:01,126 --> 01:16:03,754
On the rabbi story, do you want
the transvestite prostitute
1303
01:16:03,896 --> 01:16:06,194
- to be dressed as a man or a woman?
- A man.
1304
01:16:06,332 --> 01:16:07,663
- Man.
- No, a woman.
1305
01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:11,566
No, have him/her start
the segment as a woman and then,
1306
01:16:11,704 --> 01:16:13,899
boom, after the break he/she
comes back as a man!
1307
01:16:14,039 --> 01:16:16,507
- Yes. That's it.
- Yes. Yes.
1308
01:16:23,882 --> 01:16:25,645
Back to you, Colleen.
1309
01:16:28,053 --> 01:16:31,045
- All right! They've cut!
- Both. Emphatically.
1310
01:16:31,190 --> 01:16:32,919
Here are the ratings.
1311
01:16:33,726 --> 01:16:35,887
I know, I know.

1312
01:16:36,962 --> 01:16:38,862
Yes, yes.
1313
01:16:38,997 --> 01:16:41,329
And when we come back,
we'll tell you about
1314
01:16:41,467 --> 01:16:44,459
new ways to cope with menopause.
1315
01:16:49,742 --> 01:16:51,471
New doorknobs.
1316
01:16:53,445 --> 01:16:54,742
OK.
1317
01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:56,814
- And am I doing it right?
- Yes.
1318
01:16:56,949 --> 01:16:58,246
How do you know?
You're not looking.
1319
01:16:58,384 --> 01:17:03,014
Or we could do a whole series
on senior weight loss. A five-parter.
1320
01:17:04,089 --> 01:17:07,024
We could get that health expert,
you know, the one with the...
1321
01:17:10,796 --> 01:17:13,321
It's good, it's good, it's good.
I'll do it.
1322
01:17:17,803 --> 01:17:18,895
Wait! Wait, look.
1323
01:17:19,872 --> 01:17:23,399
The week-to-weeks are better and
total viewers are up by five percent!
1324
01:17:23,542 --> 01:17:26,067
And those are not good enough!

1325
01:17:26,211 --> 01:17:28,873
Turns out the burger patties were
contaminated with E. coli,
1326
01:17:29,014 --> 01:17:31,482
which can cause cramping and diarrhea.
1327
01:17:31,617 --> 01:17:34,245
- Lose the ticker, music in...
- We'll be right back on Daybreak.
1328
01:17:34,386 --> 01:17:36,820
Dissolve the logo. And mark.
1329
01:17:37,890 --> 01:17:39,482
And we're out.
1330
01:17:39,625 --> 01:17:42,788
Great, a story about uncontrollable
shitting and look who gets it.
1331
01:17:42,928 --> 01:17:44,919
Well, it's not my sort of thing.
1332
01:17:46,131 --> 01:17:48,565
Can I just say one thing?
That's our job.
1333
01:17:48,700 --> 01:17:52,192
I know you think you're above it
and, of course, you were above it
1334
01:17:52,337 --> 01:17:55,465
before you got fired. But now,
guess what, you're down in the muck
1335
01:17:55,607 --> 01:17:56,767
with the rest of us, Mike.
1336
01:17:56,909 --> 01:18:00,072
And yet I still have standards,
unfortunately for you.
1337
01:18:00,212 --> 01:18:02,578
- Suppose I don't have standards?
- Sure, you do.

1338
01:18:02,714 --> 01:18:06,241
When you got your Pap smear on air,
you wore a silk robe.
1339
01:18:06,385 --> 01:18:08,285
- OK!
- Classy touch.
1340
01:18:08,420 --> 01:18:09,853
- We're back in five...
- That is it!
1341
01:18:09,988 --> 01:18:11,979
I've had it with you!
I've had it!
1342
01:18:12,124 --> 01:18:14,251
- Three... and two...
- Go, two.
1343
01:18:14,393 --> 01:18:16,327
- ...one.
- Dissolve and cue.
1344
01:18:16,462 --> 01:18:19,989
Tomorrow on the show, Colleen will
make the British classic bangers
1345
01:18:20,132 --> 01:18:23,624
- and mash, with chef Gordon Ramsay.
- That's right, I will,
1346
01:18:23,769 --> 01:18:27,330
because you refuse to do it, Mike.
Guess it's beneath you.
1347
01:18:27,473 --> 01:18:30,533
Well, that and it's tough to get
between you and a sausage, so...
1348
01:18:30,676 --> 01:18:32,769
Sausage, that's a good one.
1349
01:18:32,911 --> 01:18:37,143
Yes, and also you are
a fatuous, pretentious idiot,
1350

01:18:37,282 --> 01:18:40,183

- so there's that.
- A fatuous idiot who makes
1351
01:18:40,319 --> 01:18:44,016
- three times what you make.
- That's our show for this morning.
1352
01:18:44,156 --> 01:18:48,183
See you tomorrow, folks. Goodbye.
1353
01:18:48,327 --> 01:18:49,851
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
1354
01:18:49,995 --> 01:18:51,155
- Goodbye.
- And goodbye.
1355
01:18:51,296 --> 01:18:52,422
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
1356
01:18:52,564 --> 01:18:54,088
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Bye.
1357
01:18:54,233 --> 01:18:56,463
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye. Bye.
1358
01:18:56,602 --> 01:18:58,536
This is yesterday,
1359
01:18:58,670 --> 01:19:00,501
- after she insulted his tie.
- Right.
1360
01:19:00,639 --> 01:19:04,575
After he asked her if she cries
ice cubes. Huge spike.
1361
01:19:05,143 --> 01:19:06,474
They love it!
1362
01:19:06,612 --> 01:19:10,776
We're so close. I mean, we need this.
We're, we're, we're almost there.

1363
01:19:10,916 --> 01:19:14,477
Coming up in our next hour, we'll be
talking to people who successfully
1364
01:19:14,620 --> 01:19:16,679
completed this innovative
rehab program.
1365
01:19:16,822 --> 01:19:19,382
Might want to pick up
a few tips there, Mike.
1366
01:19:19,525 --> 01:19:24,224
Do they have rehab programs for bitter
beauty queens with self-esteem issues?
1367
01:19:24,363 --> 01:19:26,661
I wonder about that sometimes.
1368
01:19:26,798 --> 01:19:29,062
Sometimes. Well, coming up next...
1369
01:19:29,201 --> 01:19:34,730
But they are way better.
They're way up from last year.
1370
01:19:34,873 --> 01:19:38,707
I'm, I'm almost there.
1371
01:19:38,844 --> 01:19:40,675
So many people rely on this show.
They believe in it.
1372
01:19:40,812 --> 01:19:42,973
You have until Friday.
That's the deal we made.
1373
01:19:43,115 --> 01:19:45,515
And those are still not good enough.
1374
01:19:51,256 --> 01:19:54,692
...so no real flooding to speak of in
the neighborhoods. But the concern is,
1375
01:19:54,826 --> 01:19:57,351
they are prepared...

1376
01:19:57,496 --> 01:20:00,727
- ...to help folks if necessary, Kitty.
- What?
1377
01:20:00,866 --> 01:20:03,426
Well, the center of
lowa's second biggest city,
1378
01:20:03,569 --> 01:20:05,537
Cedar Rapids, is already underwater.
1379
01:20:08,273 --> 01:20:09,535
Sorry.
1380
01:20:12,144 --> 01:20:14,339
I mean, our demos are getting better.
1381
01:20:14,479 --> 01:20:17,039
But our overall numbers, they're
just not where they should be.
1382
01:20:18,584 --> 01:20:20,916
We're just missing... something.
1383
01:20:21,053 --> 01:20:25,649
Well, maybe it's time for another
eight-part series on the orgasm.
1384
01:20:25,791 --> 01:20:28,123
Do you think so? I mean,
1385
01:20:28,260 --> 01:20:31,423
I don't know what else we
would possibly talk about.
1386
01:20:32,431 --> 01:20:34,661
- You're making fun of me.
- No.
1387
01:20:38,604 --> 01:20:39,969
Never mind.
1388
01:20:40,105 --> 01:20:41,902
Just... doesn't matter.
1389

01:20:42,040 --> 01:20:44,975

I'll just deal with it in the morning.
1390
01:20:47,479 --> 01:20:51,609
You look at me like there's something
wrong with me all the time.
1391
01:20:51,750 --> 01:20:53,911
- And I can't, I can't do it.
- What?
1392
01:20:54,052 --> 01:20:56,486
That is the most ridiculous
statement you have ever made.
1393
01:20:56,622 --> 01:20:58,590
I can't let my guard down
for one second, you know.
1394
01:20:58,724 --> 01:21:02,854
I don't look at my BlackBerry and I miss
getting the next big story.
1395
01:21:02,995 --> 01:21:07,261
And I'm tired of feeling guilty
about my work. I can't.
1396
01:21:07,399 --> 01:21:08,798
Becky, wait a second.
1397
01:21:23,382 --> 01:21:27,216
Yeah. OK. Look, that
information's a matter of public record.
1398
01:21:27,352 --> 01:21:29,877
I have a right to see it.
You know that.
1399
01:21:30,022 --> 01:21:32,388
You want me to come on down there
and I'll bring a crew?
1400
01:21:32,524 --> 01:21:34,151
Better yet, a subpoena.
1401
01:21:35,727 --> 01:21:38,059
OK, and I think we
should end the segment

1402
01:21:38,196 --> 01:21:40,460
with Ernie being tarred and feathered
in honor of the anniversary
1403
01:21:40,599 --> 01:21:41,691
of the Boston Tea Party.
1404
01:21:41,833 --> 01:21:44,666
Or I could do my good story
on weathervanes.
1405
01:21:44,803 --> 01:21:47,169
No!
1406
01:21:47,305 --> 01:21:50,001
OK, so great job, everyone.
1407
01:21:50,142 --> 01:21:54,306
Excuse me, excuse me.
Just one, one moment, please.
1408
01:21:59,317 --> 01:22:01,649
I have a story I'd like to do.
1409
01:22:03,889 --> 01:22:05,151
Sauerkraut.
1410
01:22:08,460 --> 01:22:10,155
Sauerkraut?
1411
01:22:11,329 --> 01:22:16,824
Big annual Sauerkraut Festival upstate.
1412
01:22:17,536 --> 01:22:21,131
They bowl with cabbage,
1413
01:22:21,273 --> 01:22:22,831
make a big sauerkraut cake.
1414
01:22:22,974 --> 01:22:27,536
They... have a competition
for the best sauerkraut.
1415
01:22:28,380 --> 01:22:30,848
You want to do that?

1416
01:22:30,982 --> 01:22:33,678
What? Do you have
a problem with that?
1417
01:22:36,388 --> 01:22:37,582
No.
1418
01:22:37,723 --> 01:22:41,056
It's OK? I'm doing the kraut? Right?
1419
01:22:41,193 --> 01:22:45,095
- If you, if you want to.
- Good. Good.
1420
01:22:51,303 --> 01:22:52,292
Hi!
1421
01:22:57,275 --> 01:22:59,209
- Hi!
- Don't really have to go, you know.
1422
01:22:59,344 --> 01:23:01,141
I want to. My goodness.
I wouldn't miss this for...
1423
01:23:01,279 --> 01:23:02,871
- Get in.
- All right.
1424
01:23:04,750 --> 01:23:06,911
Say hello to Joe.
1425
01:23:07,052 --> 01:23:09,850
- Joe, Becky. Becky, Joe. Go.
- Hi, Joe.
1426
01:23:10,589 --> 01:23:14,491
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
This isn't the way. No, no.
1427
01:23:14,626 --> 01:23:17,959
- Mike, where are we going?
- To cover the news.
1428
01:23:18,096 --> 01:23:19,791
- What?

- At 8am this morning,

1429
01:23:19,931 --> 01:23:21,626
- I'm going to cover a story.
- Mike.
1430
01:23:21,767 --> 01:23:25,203
- A real story.
- Are you kidding me?
1431
01:23:25,337 --> 01:23:26,964
- Where are you?
- I don't know.
1432
01:23:27,105 --> 01:23:30,165
- What do you mean, you don't know?
- Well, he won't tell me.
1433
01:23:30,308 --> 01:23:33,038
He's kidnapped me.
He's gone around some kind of bend
1434
01:23:33,178 --> 01:23:35,908
and I need you to get Colleen ready
with a backup story, please!
1435
01:23:36,047 --> 01:23:39,016
- What backup story?
- Let Ernie do the weathervane thing.
1436
01:23:39,151 --> 01:23:41,176
- No, no, no, no. Jesus.
- I need something
1437
01:23:41,319 --> 01:23:43,082
when Mike's story tanks.
1438
01:23:43,989 --> 01:23:45,957
You know, you're a terrible person!
1439
01:23:46,091 --> 01:23:49,788
You baited me with sauerkraut.
That's so low.
1440
01:23:49,928 --> 01:23:52,089
I mean, what the hell
is this story, Mike?!

1441
01:23:52,230 --> 01:23:54,664
- The governor.
- What governor?
1442
01:23:54,800 --> 01:23:57,325
We're not even
anywhere near Albany.
1443
01:23:57,469 --> 01:24:00,802
No, we're not.
It's up here a little further, Joe.
1444
01:24:00,939 --> 01:24:02,873
- A little further.
- Oh, my God,
1445
01:24:03,008 --> 01:24:05,306
this is the governor's country house.
Are you out of your mind?
1446
01:24:05,443 --> 01:24:08,935
You're experiencing a psychotic break.
Are you insane?
1447
01:24:09,948 --> 01:24:14,351
Well, I won't be dragged down with you.
You're gonna get us arrested and fired.
1448
01:24:14,486 --> 01:24:17,512
I get fired, I never work again,
you lunatic.
1449
01:24:17,656 --> 01:24:19,954
I'm not gonna run it, Mike.
I won't, you can't make me.
1450
01:24:20,091 --> 01:24:23,549
I'll run Colleen getting her bikini
line waxed before I run it. Mike!
1451
01:24:23,695 --> 01:24:25,595
They're gonna cancel the show!
1452
01:24:31,002 --> 01:24:33,664
If we don't get our numbers up
by the end of this week, we're toast.
1453

01:24:33,805 --> 01:24:37,673

We're gonna be replaced
by soap operas and... game shows.
1454
01:24:41,379 --> 01:24:42,903
Come on, Joe.
1455
01:24:46,418 --> 01:24:48,215
- Lenny, are you ready?
- Ready?
1456
01:24:48,353 --> 01:24:50,753
- Ready? Ready for what?
- Jesus.
1457
01:24:54,626 --> 01:24:56,093
- Check, check.
- Hey.
1458
01:24:56,228 --> 01:24:58,162
You'll know when to go live.
Get out of my shot.
1459
01:24:58,296 --> 01:25:00,287
Go live with what?
1460
01:25:01,466 --> 01:25:03,195
Pomeroy!
1461
01:25:03,335 --> 01:25:05,735
- Gary, how are ya?
- What the hell are you doin'here?
1462
01:25:05,871 --> 01:25:07,338
I need the weathervanes, Lenny.
1463
01:25:07,472 --> 01:25:09,702
- I need 'em, need...
- So we're goin' with weathervanes.
1464
01:25:09,841 --> 01:25:10,830
- Yes.
- Specifically,
1465
01:25:10,976 --> 01:25:14,434
we'd like to know how you feel about
the Attorney General's filing

1466
01:25:14,579 --> 01:25:16,774
racketeering charges
against you this morning.
1467
01:25:16,915 --> 01:25:19,042
- Charges of corruption...
- No, wait, wait.
1468
01:25:19,184 --> 01:25:22,051
- ...and steering government contracts.
- Wait, wait, wait.
1469
01:25:22,187 --> 01:25:24,587
- We cannot wait!
- Hold your horses.
1470
01:25:24,723 --> 01:25:28,420
And there's a hooker or two...
in there as well, isn't there, sir?
1471
01:25:28,560 --> 01:25:29,959
- Oh, my God.
- Becky!
1472
01:25:30,095 --> 01:25:31,653
- What is going on here?
- Comin' through!
1473
01:25:31,796 --> 01:25:34,458
Mike, I don't know where you get
your information. You know I like you.
1474
01:25:34,599 --> 01:25:36,294
- Stand by to go live.
- What?
1475
01:25:36,434 --> 01:25:40,097
...but if you don't leave,
I'm gonna have to call the police.
1476
01:25:40,238 --> 01:25:42,103
- Wait one second.
- I don't think that's gonna
1477
01:25:42,240 --> 01:25:43,798
be necessary, sir.
1478

01:25:44,542 --> 01:25:46,339

Becky!
1479
01:25:48,780 --> 01:25:50,441
Live! Live!
1480
01:25:50,582 --> 01:25:51,708
Live to Becky, now!
1481
01:25:54,753 --> 01:25:56,414
- Up on rem two!
- Now taking you live
1482
01:25:56,554 --> 01:25:58,454
to Mike Pomeroy for a special report.
1483
01:25:58,590 --> 01:26:02,583
Federal authorities have been
planning this raid for weeks.
1484
01:26:02,727 --> 01:26:06,561
This reporter has learned that
the indictment contains 15 counts
1485
01:26:06,698 --> 01:26:10,293
of racketeering
and using undue influence.
1486
01:26:10,435 --> 01:26:14,462
My sources tell me authorities
have tapped phone calls,
1487
01:26:14,606 --> 01:26:16,801
and incriminating e-mails.
1488
01:26:19,344 --> 01:26:21,835
Mike Pomeroy, Daybreak.
1489
01:26:23,381 --> 01:26:25,372
Back to you in the studio.
1490
01:26:26,718 --> 01:26:28,583
- Take two.
- Thanks, Mike.
1491
01:26:28,720 --> 01:26:30,984
Partly cloudy skies this afternoon

with slight chance...

1492
01:26:31,122 --> 01:26:34,148
You know, you could have told me.
I might have covered it anyway.
1493
01:26:34,292 --> 01:26:35,281
Liar.
1494
01:26:39,631 --> 01:26:41,189
Look, I get it.
1495
01:26:42,634 --> 01:26:45,899
Nobody really cares that
I can do this job, but...
1496
01:26:49,307 --> 01:26:51,241
But I can.
1497
01:26:52,777 --> 01:26:55,075
I wanted you to see that.
1498
01:26:56,247 --> 01:26:57,942
That was a great story, Mike.
1499
01:26:58,083 --> 01:27:00,381
That was...
that was better than a great story,
1500
01:27:00,518 --> 01:27:05,922
that was great television.
I mean, that was bran with a doughnut.
1501
01:27:06,057 --> 01:27:07,922
A bran doughnut.
1502
01:27:11,529 --> 01:27:14,123
I've got a grandkid.
1503
01:27:14,265 --> 01:27:17,098
Did you know that?
1504
01:27:17,235 --> 01:27:18,930
Alexander.
1505
01:27:20,138 --> 01:27:23,403

I haven't seen him since I got fired.

1506
01:27:23,541 --> 01:27:27,409
I was embarrassed...
after all I'd accomplished.
1507
01:27:27,545 --> 01:27:30,571
And then to...
1508
01:27:31,683 --> 01:27:36,143
...come back to the news... this way.
1509
01:27:39,491 --> 01:27:41,686
The truth is, I'd...
1510
01:27:41,826 --> 01:27:44,659
I'd screwed up with my kids
1511
01:27:44,796 --> 01:27:46,855
way before I got canned.
1512
01:27:48,400 --> 01:27:52,131
Anyway, I was never at home and...
1513
01:27:53,204 --> 01:27:55,900
...when I was,
I took every phone call,
1514
01:27:56,041 --> 01:27:58,942
watching TV out of the corner of my eye.
1515
01:28:00,979 --> 01:28:06,007
Why am I telling you this?
You're worse than I am.
1516
01:28:06,151 --> 01:28:09,086
You'd sleep at the office if you could.
1517
01:28:13,858 --> 01:28:16,486
Let me tell you how it turns out.
1518
01:28:17,829 --> 01:28:20,992
You end up with... with nothing.
1519
01:28:21,933 --> 01:28:23,525
Nothing.

1520
01:28:26,871 --> 01:28:30,864
Which is... which is what I had...
1521
01:28:31,676 --> 01:28:33,803
...till you came along.
1522
01:28:41,152 --> 01:28:43,382
Wait a second.
1523
01:28:43,521 --> 01:28:46,319
Did you just say something nice to me?
1524
01:28:47,826 --> 01:28:50,351
I told you I could banter.
1525
01:28:53,098 --> 01:28:55,566
Felt like getting a jump on it.
1526
01:29:23,561 --> 01:29:28,089
They're not... awful.
1527
01:29:29,334 --> 01:29:30,858
How much longer can we get?
1528
01:29:31,002 --> 01:29:34,096
Well, I have to check
with upstairs, but...
1529
01:29:34,239 --> 01:29:39,370
with these I can get you a year,
a comfortable year.
1530
01:29:39,511 --> 01:29:41,138
I underestimated you, Becky.
1531
01:29:42,247 --> 01:29:45,375
That's... that's very, very true.
1532
01:29:46,284 --> 01:29:47,945
NBC called.
1533
01:29:49,454 --> 01:29:50,716
NBC?
1534

01:29:51,723 --> 01:29:54,385

Wanted to know how much time
you have on your contract.
1535
01:29:58,263 --> 01:30:00,823
The Today show wants you.
1536
01:30:06,704 --> 01:30:09,730
Well, that's very flattering. I...
1537
01:30:13,511 --> 01:30:15,274
Is that what you want?
1538
01:30:46,277 --> 01:30:48,745
They were gonna cancel the show.
1539
01:30:49,514 --> 01:30:51,277
- OK.
- Yeah.
1540
01:30:51,416 --> 01:30:54,476
And somehow, we saved it.
1541
01:30:54,619 --> 01:30:57,850
And, you know, the thing is...
is that the second I knew
1542
01:30:57,989 --> 01:31:02,722
that everything was gonna be OK, the
person that I wanted to tell was you.
1543
01:31:04,996 --> 01:31:08,329
The Today show? That's huge.
1544
01:31:08,466 --> 01:31:12,027
Yeah, yeah,
it's, it's, it's incredible.
1545
01:31:13,037 --> 01:31:15,562
But I, I have to think about it. I...
1546
01:31:15,707 --> 01:31:18,141
- What?
- Well, yeah, I mean, I...
1547
01:31:18,276 --> 01:31:22,372
Well, the thing is, is that at Daybreak,

everyone's really starting to click.

1548
01:31:22,513 --> 01:31:24,913
Everybody's pitching in
and doing what they're best at.
1549
01:31:25,049 --> 01:31:26,641
- No story too high or low.
- No, hold on,
1550
01:31:26,784 --> 01:31:30,049
you can't say no to this.
When you get an opportunity like this,
1551
01:31:30,188 --> 01:31:33,157
- you have to grab it.
- Even Mike is almost happy.
1552
01:31:33,291 --> 01:31:36,454
And that's a good enough reason to
give up the best job in broadcasting?
1553
01:31:36,594 --> 01:31:38,391
We're...
1554
01:31:39,497 --> 01:31:43,160
Daybreak is a family now.
1555
01:31:44,135 --> 01:31:47,434
Becky, I've known Mike a long time.
1556
01:31:47,572 --> 01:31:49,563
I... It doesn't matter how happy he is.
1557
01:31:49,707 --> 01:31:52,642
He's not just gonna suddenly
change into a different person.
1558
01:31:52,777 --> 01:31:55,405
Well, I think you're wrong.
1559
01:31:55,546 --> 01:31:58,071
I know what I'm doing with him now.
1560
01:31:58,216 --> 01:32:01,652
I do. I do.

1561
01:32:02,620 --> 01:32:04,713
It's gonna be great.
1562
01:32:06,524 --> 01:32:09,550
So we've got the Supreme Court
Justice hearings at the top of the hour
1563
01:32:09,694 --> 01:32:12,185
and then... I forgot
to tell you, Anthony Bourdain
1564
01:32:12,330 --> 01:32:16,767
- wants to do a segment with you!
- Bourdain? Love him. Not doin' that.
1565
01:32:16,901 --> 01:32:20,200
But say hi to Tony.
I owe him a bottle of Patron.
1566
01:32:21,706 --> 01:32:24,470
- What...?
- What? We do one good story together
1567
01:32:24,609 --> 01:32:28,636
and suddenly I'm your bitch?
Don't think so. Sorry.
1568
01:32:28,780 --> 01:32:33,308
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
You can't do one story for me?
1569
01:32:33,451 --> 01:32:35,146
Oh, my God, what is wrong with me?
1570
01:32:35,286 --> 01:32:37,618
What am I doing here,
beating my head against this wall?
1571
01:32:37,755 --> 01:32:40,246
I might as well go to the Today
show where you don't have to poke
1572
01:32:40,391 --> 01:32:42,655
- Matt Lauer with a stick...
- The Today show?
1573
01:32:42,794 --> 01:32:44,887

- Yes, they offered me a job.

- Of course.
1574
01:32:45,029 --> 01:32:47,520
- But you know what? I said...
- Time to move on.
1575
01:32:47,665 --> 01:32:48,962
You'll love the Today show.
1576
01:32:49,100 --> 01:32:52,263
You and Vieira can do
menopause stories every week!
1577
01:32:52,403 --> 01:32:56,203
You know what's really ridiculous?
Is that until about ten seconds ago,
1578
01:32:56,341 --> 01:32:59,742
I'd actually considered turning my back
on the best job I've ever been offered.
1579
01:32:59,877 --> 01:33:01,742
Isn't that totally absurd?
1580
01:33:03,581 --> 01:33:05,412
What's keeping you?
1581
01:33:06,651 --> 01:33:08,278
OK.
1582
01:33:08,419 --> 01:33:12,753
You know, if you'd ever treated me
with some kind of friendship or loyalty,
1583
01:33:12,890 --> 01:33:16,382
or trust, these things
that you seem incapable of...
1584
01:33:16,527 --> 01:33:20,827
You miserable, lonely, egotistical,
selfish asshole!
1585
01:33:44,389 --> 01:33:46,118
- Hey, Becky.
- Hi.
1586

01:33:46,257 --> 01:33:49,385

They called again. Today show.
1587
01:33:50,728 --> 01:33:52,286
Thanks.
1588
01:34:53,458 --> 01:34:55,119
Becky Fuller.
1589
01:34:55,259 --> 01:34:58,592
Obviously, we have a long
track record of success here
1590
01:34:58,729 --> 01:35:03,098
at the Today show, but we're
always looking to stay current,
1591
01:35:03,234 --> 01:35:07,034
to get out of our comfort zone,
and we want the show
1592
01:35:07,171 --> 01:35:10,868
to have that youthful energy.
And we are so impressed
1593
01:35:11,008 --> 01:35:13,306
with what you have done
with Daybreak.
1594
01:35:13,878 --> 01:35:17,336
Well, thank you very much.
I appreciate it.
1595
01:35:18,182 --> 01:35:20,480
Everyone is talking about it.
You must know that.
1596
01:35:20,618 --> 01:35:23,781
I mean, you have done an amazing job
of revitalizing a show
1597
01:35:23,921 --> 01:35:26,719
that many people
had just completely written off.
1598
01:35:26,858 --> 01:35:29,053
Well, thank you. Thanks.

1599
01:35:29,193 --> 01:35:30,820
And we're out!
1600
01:35:32,730 --> 01:35:34,630
You did this.
1601
01:35:34,765 --> 01:35:36,460
They're gonna hire her.
1602
01:35:36,601 --> 01:35:39,798
Yeah. She's at the Today show
right now, ding dong.
1603
01:35:39,937 --> 01:35:44,033
Do you have any idea, you know,
what you've done here?
1604
01:35:44,175 --> 01:35:48,441
Because we had a decent producer,
a decent show and,
1605
01:35:48,579 --> 01:35:50,513
God forbid, anyone around here
should be happy,
1606
01:35:50,648 --> 01:35:53,981
but you had to have this happen,
didn't you?
1607
01:35:54,118 --> 01:35:55,244
All right, stand by, folks. Here we go.
1608
01:35:55,386 --> 01:35:57,445
Three, two, one.
1609
01:35:57,588 --> 01:36:01,547
And dissolve two.
And cue 'em! Cue 'em!
1610
01:36:01,692 --> 01:36:04,684
- Welcome back to Daybreak.
- What is wrong?
1611
01:36:04,829 --> 01:36:06,421
...at the nation's
crumbling infrastructure.

1612
01:36:06,564 --> 01:36:07,895
Go to Colleen.
Jesus, jump off Mike.
1613
01:36:08,032 --> 01:36:09,522
- Where the hell is he going?
- Take three, three.
1614
01:36:10,368 --> 01:36:14,304
Cue over to three. Swing her to three,
please. Come on, Jane, over to three.
1615
01:36:14,438 --> 01:36:17,134
Sorry, the... this segment's
usually a two shot
1616
01:36:17,275 --> 01:36:20,176
of Mike and Colleen
and Mike's not there.
1617
01:36:21,546 --> 01:36:24,606
They've probably just
changed something. Sorry.
1618
01:36:25,550 --> 01:36:27,677
I don't know. Where is Mike?
1619
01:36:29,220 --> 01:36:31,188
- I need eggs.
- You need what?
1620
01:36:31,322 --> 01:36:33,722
You know, from chickens. Eggs!
1621
01:36:35,826 --> 01:36:38,556
Really don't enjoy this job.
1622
01:36:38,696 --> 01:36:41,722
Chinese people, move, move, move!
1623
01:36:41,866 --> 01:36:43,925
Thank you!
1624
01:36:44,068 --> 01:36:48,698
Celery. Peppers. Cheese. Cheese.
1625

01:36:52,577 --> 01:36:54,374

Yeah, thank you very much.
1626
01:36:55,212 --> 01:36:57,806
We wanted to know what your plans
are for sports coverage.
1627
01:36:57,949 --> 01:37:00,850
Sports. Great, OK.
Great.
1628
01:37:00,985 --> 01:37:03,749
I love sports.
1629
01:37:03,888 --> 01:37:06,823
Come on, move, move!
Let's go, let's go!
1630
01:37:06,958 --> 01:37:09,483
- Get it in there, slide it in!
- Mike, tell us what you need.
1631
01:37:09,627 --> 01:37:14,655
I need a cutting board, good knife,
nice plate, bowl, whisk.
1632
01:37:14,799 --> 01:37:17,393
What is this, rubber?
Get me a real bowl.
1633
01:37:17,535 --> 01:37:19,127
- Where are my eggs?!
- Cue over to three.
1634
01:37:19,270 --> 01:37:22,239
- Where are my goddamn eggs?!
- Eggs for Mike, please!
1635
01:37:22,373 --> 01:37:25,570
In respect to sports, I think that it's
really important to reach out
1636
01:37:25,710 --> 01:37:28,372
to women through their kids
because it's not that big of a step
1637
01:37:28,512 --> 01:37:32,039
to go from being a soccer mom

to, you know, a...

1638
01:37:33,184 --> 01:37:34,742
Oh, my God. What is he doing?
1639
01:37:38,789 --> 01:37:40,279
Sorry, I just...
1640
01:37:40,424 --> 01:37:44,520
This is... Mike Pomeroy is having
a nervous breakdown on air.
1641
01:37:44,662 --> 01:37:45,993
That's kind of big news.
1642
01:37:46,130 --> 01:37:48,496
...a meal for their afternoon repast,
1643
01:37:48,633 --> 01:37:52,160
something they could make
using whatever ingredients
1644
01:37:52,303 --> 01:37:55,170
- they had available.
- Holy shit.
1645
01:37:55,306 --> 01:38:00,141
I've been making frittata
for about 20 years now,
1646
01:38:00,277 --> 01:38:03,212
ever since I was taught how to,
1647
01:38:03,347 --> 01:38:06,441
on a naked weekend
with a beautiful Italian movie star,
1648
01:38:06,584 --> 01:38:09,883
who shall, of course,
remain nameless.
1649
01:38:10,021 --> 01:38:13,252
Occasionally, I make them at home.
1650
01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:17,322
But only for people that I...

1651
01:38:17,461 --> 01:38:19,053
People I really care about.
1652
01:38:20,931 --> 01:38:24,332
Now the key to a great frittata
1653
01:38:24,468 --> 01:38:26,834
is a very hot pan,
1654
01:38:26,971 --> 01:38:29,769
because that, my friends,
1655
01:38:30,675 --> 01:38:34,975
is what makes it... fluffy.
1656
01:38:37,048 --> 01:38:39,380
We'll let this firm up a little bit.
1657
01:38:43,387 --> 01:38:45,912
- Dash of pepper.
- I'm sorry. I...
1658
01:38:47,992 --> 01:38:49,357
You watchin' this?
1659
01:38:52,229 --> 01:38:56,393
- Becky?
- Yes, I... yeah.
1660
01:38:56,534 --> 01:38:58,434
He is not gonna ask you twice.
1661
01:38:58,569 --> 01:39:01,561
We'll give it a few seconds,
then we'll pop it in the hot oven.
1662
01:39:03,007 --> 01:39:04,599
Bye! Thanks!
1663
01:39:13,150 --> 01:39:14,674
A little pepper.
1664
01:39:25,396 --> 01:39:28,024
Stand by. He's goin' back to the oven.
Ready three.

1665
01:39:36,707 --> 01:39:40,165
A lot of people like a glass of di Gavi.
1666
01:39:40,311 --> 01:39:42,302
Gavi di Gavi, perhaps.
1667
01:39:42,446 --> 01:39:45,904
I, myself, like a... Barolo.
1668
01:39:54,658 --> 01:39:56,853
I'll just free up the edges.
1669
01:40:20,818 --> 01:40:23,719
Next week on the show,
I'll show you how to make
1670
01:40:23,854 --> 01:40:26,414
a fantastic beignet,
1671
01:40:26,557 --> 01:40:28,752
which the rabble like to call...
1672
01:40:30,995 --> 01:40:31,984
...doughnuts.
1673
01:40:37,168 --> 01:40:39,261
The old bastard.
1674
01:40:41,672 --> 01:40:45,631
You know, he's still the
third worst person in the world.
1675
01:40:47,945 --> 01:40:49,879
Yeah, I know.
1676
01:40:53,684 --> 01:40:55,117
That's good.
1677
01:40:58,122 --> 01:41:00,454
That's really good.
1678
01:41:00,591 --> 01:41:03,526
I want a tropical fruit plate.
1679
01:42:04,722 --> 01:42:08,385

"His gravity leavens

the silliness of morning TV,
1680
01:42:08,525 --> 01:42:12,723
making for an incongruous
but somehow perfect match.
1681
01:42:12,863 --> 01:42:15,388
Turns out that after 40 years
in the business,
1682
01:42:15,532 --> 01:42:18,695
the real Mike Pomeroy
has finally arrived."
1683
01:42:18,836 --> 01:42:19,928
Not bad.
1684
01:42:20,070 --> 01:42:23,198
By the way, I'm getting
my prostate checked next week.
1685
01:42:23,340 --> 01:42:25,331
I thought I'd take a crew with me.
1686
01:42:25,476 --> 01:42:28,172
- That's a great idea. We...
- Jesus, I'm kidding.
1687
01:42:28,312 --> 01:42:31,611
No, seriously, they have these
little teeny, tiny cameras
1688
01:42:31,749 --> 01:42:33,546
- that go right up your...
- No, no, no.
1689
01:42:33,684 --> 01:42:35,675
What if we got you
a body double?
1690
01:42:37,655 --> 01:42:39,054
- No!
- No?
1691
01:42:39,189 --> 01:42:41,316
Not in a thousand years.