Personal Philosophy

RUNNING HEAD: Personal Philosophy of Counseling

Personal Philosophy of Counseling Andrea Treanor Azusa Pacific University

Personal Philosophy One of the most definitive things I learned about counseling is that there is no single right way to do it. Every person who comes seeking help will differ from the next and will respond differently to various helping approaches; just as every helper will be differ from the next having come from a different school of thought and possessing different experiences which have

informed the way he or she helps clients. Yet, while it is true that people possess many differences and each life is unique, the human experience is largely the same across the board. Pain, happiness, fear, love, loneliness, etc. are feelings that every person faces at some point. Yet, in a helping relationship some people will be resistant to share about their problems even a little bit, while others will talk about their heart wrenching experiences with total indifference, serving as more evidence that we are different. With so many different people living their lives so many different ways, feeling so differently about things and each facing a different issue for which they need help, it is a good thing that not everyone can agree on the single best way to help another person. These differences in opinion allow every person to have something unique to offer someone else. We all have different philosophies about life; which means that there is certainly someone who will not agree with my philosophy and probably someone else with whom I will see exactly eye to eye. Although my philosophy of counseling may vary from those of others, it is good to know that there is room for divergences in this unique realm. There are some key ideas that inform my philosophy of counseling which I will use the rest of this paper to discuss. They are faith and hope, action orientation and future focus, what is helpful, goal setting, interaction between helper and help seeker, and, lastly, Biblical truth. These ideas contribute to my philosophy of counseling and I will use them in various ways throughout my career in College Student Affairs and they will take different shapes and forms depending on my role and what kind of students I will be working with and the values of the institutions I may

Personal Philosophy someday work in. To begin with, I root my philosophy of counseling in the fact that I am ultimately an optimist. My optimism grows out of my relationship with God and the miracles I have seen Him perform in my life and in the lives of people around me. This optimism is why I was interested in the positive psychology perspective the first time I read about it in The Skilled Helper by Gerard Egan (2002). He defined positive psychology as, helping clients identify and develop unused potential and missed opportunities (p. 6). Egan also referenced Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi

who described the psychologists message as being to remind our field that psychology is not just the study of pathology, weakness, and damage; it is also the study of strength and virtue (p.7). When I first read this it reminded me of something I once heard Edward Chip Anderson, Ph.D. (personal communication, n.d.) say. He mentioned that it is very common to hear people talk about mental illness, but rarely ever about mental health. He asserted that we spend too much time finding out what is wrong with us, and very little time talking about what is right with us. Keeping positive psychology in mind, I still say we all have problems. Henri Nouwen (1979), the Bible (New International Version), and many others agree. For me, however, the question that follows this acknowledgement is, Will I allow the negative aspects of my life to rule over me? I am a person of faith. Hebrews 11:1 says, Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Faith involves belief in possibilities, especially when thinking in terms of the future. A belief in tomorrow requires much faith. Tomorrow is a perfect example of something which we do not see because, frankly, it does not exist. The foundation of hope is in the idea that tomorrow will not only come, but also that it can be better than today. I believe hope is essential to life. Life is worth very little if one has no hope. It makes sense that people contemplate suicide and even go through with it when they feel all hope is lost. Who would want

Personal Philosophy to live another day if they truly believed that they already experienced the best they ever would, especially if the best experience they have had thus far has not been that great? There must be a belief that tomorrow can be better than today. For this reason, counseling that spends most of its effort focusing on the past does not seem very effective to me. Unless one uses the past to learn lessons and move forward, the past seems somewhat worthless. And the past is not even really the past if one does not stop living in it.

The past should serve as a reference, either for fond memories or for lessons of what not to do again. The past is not meant to be something we constantly dwell on or use as an excuse. The same could be said about the present if we get so absorbed in a moment that we stop living and experiencing our other moments. Egan (2002) made the following statement about focusing on discussing problems: Intensive discussion of problem situations is often based on a working through mentality, whereas action or solution approaches are based on the assumption that many problems need to be dealt with or even transcended rather that worked thoughthe goal of helping is problems managed, not just problems explored and understood, and opportunities developed, not just opportunities identified and discussed (p. 244). We have all heard the clich You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?. It is a challenge for people who talk a lot about something but do not demonstrate action to back up their words. Really, what is the point in exploring a problem without having a goal to surpass it? Who enjoys exploring problems? Probably nobody, but we do it in hopes of overcoming them. How can we overcome something that we do nothing about other than speak of? I may be biased though. After all, one of my top five strengths is Activator according to the Gallup Poll Strengths Finder. This is also probably why I am skeptical of the sincerity of

Personal Philosophy peoples words when I do not see action behind the words. If a person has a problem and claims they want to change, thinking differently can sometimes help, but I feel that doing things differently is more helpful. I view thinking differently as an action that spurs people on to be different. In my mind, the desire to be different, while probably good intentioned, is not worth much if a person is not actually taking action to be different. An example would be if a married couple had problems because the husband had an addiction to pornography. It would be a nice thing for the husband to say that he wanted to change, but if he did not stop driving past the Adult Bookstore I would wonder how intent he really was on changing. I once heard one of my professors, Erik Thoennes, Ph.D. (personal communication, n.d.) say, If you always do what you have always done, you will always be who you have always been. I firmly believe it to be true. I think it is impossible to change thoughts or mentalities and especially ones character without

changing actions and behaviors. This is another reason I appreciate positive psychology; it is future focused. Again, talking about the wrongs done in the past is only useful if the talk results in a person framing future actions in such a way as to not repeat the same mistakes. Positive psychology emphasizes the future and with it brings the opportunity for change. Another part of my philosophy of counseling has to do with what I believe it means to be a helper which comes down to what I think is helpful. For example, I do not believe it is helpful to judge people. Actually, Everett L. Worthington, Jr. (1982) mentioned if a helper judges it often elicits anger in clients and a felt need within them to come back with an attack. Besides that, Jesus taught in Matthew 7:1-5 that people are not to judge. He pointed out that we all deserve judgment; therefore, none of us is worthy to judge another. He illustrated this further in John 8:2-11 when the Pharisees wanted to stone the woman caught in adultery and Jesus challenged the one without sin to cast the first stone. Jesus made His point that no man can condemn another when he himself also

Personal Philosophy deserves to be condemned. I know with certainty that I will come across people seeking help

whose values do not coincide with mine, and I have already stated that I do not think it is helpful to judge them. Instead, I subscribe to Worthingtons idea of acceptance which said, When we accept a person we might disagree entirely with his or her beliefs But we continue to value our friend and his or her right to consider the behavior to be reasonable, even when we disapprove (p.130). I feel this is a great way of explaining how I should deal with people whose views are different than mine. When a person is living inconsistently with their own proclaimed values, however, I would likely confront the discrepancies, especially when dealing with followers of Christ (as I will discuss in more detail later). At the same time, I think that it is helpful to show compassion. Yet, I do not think it is helpful to let people believe that their destructive behaviors are a matter of their own personal preference and therefore, healthy or beneficial. One of the things that is difficult for me, when I think about being a helper and a Christian, is finding the line between these two that is, the fine line between showing compassion and enabling (sometimes even encouraging) destructive behaviors or thoughts. What I do know, however, is that I think it is helpful to encourage people down roads to healing by fostering a belief in possibility, by setting goals, and by living in accountability. Going along with the positive psychology perspective that sees the future as open to shaping and molding, I believe that setting goals are a vital part of what is needed to make a change in the future. As a marketing student during my undergraduate studies I had to create marketing plans, which I find to be very similar to goal setting. An example of a bad marketing plan would be to say, The company wants to increase sales. It is bad because it is unspecific. How would this company know when it had reached its goal? If they sold one product more than they did last year, did they achieve their goal? Maybe, but what if they sold more products but

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made a lesser profit? And how long should this company have expected to spend on this goal? Did they mean increase sales over the next quarter? Or did they mean the next fiscal year? There is really no way of knowing. And this type of plan is bad for company morale. When the employees do not know when they have succeeded they cannot enjoy the exhilaration of a victory. And what if one person in the company thinks they have reached the goal and another does not? The first stops putting effort toward the goal and resentment arises between the two when the second feels that the first is slacking off. All in all, the bad marketing plan causes more harm than good. A good marketing plan has three key components. It must be specific, it must be measurable, and it must state a date of completion. An example of a good marketing plan would be The company wants to increase sales that result in a 10% revenue increase over the next fiscal year. These ideas carry over to goal setting as well. Actually, Egan (2002) mentioned certain characteristics that a good goal would have which include the ones listed above as well as a series of others that contribute to making goals achievable. An example of a bad goal would be if I said, I want to get in shape, an example of a good goal would be if I said, I want to be able to run a mile without stopping by March. I think it is an important part of a helpers role to assist help seekers in formulating good goals, so as to not set them up for failure and cause them to feel worse off than they did to begin with. Another part of my philosophy of counseling has to do with the way in which a helper interacts with the help seeker. I believe that investment in the relationship on behalf of the helper and help seeker is necessary for the helping relationship to be effective. Just like in the stock market, investing means putting something in so that you can, later, get something (hopefully more, but not a guarantee) out. There are debates about how much a helper should disclose about his or her own life with a help seeker (Egan, 2002), however, it is my belief that to be in a helping

Personal Philosophy relationship mutual trust is necessary, and for the trust to be mutual, both parties must give the other something to be trusted with. When Worthington (1982) said, telling others about yourself can build a trusting relationship, he affirmed this idea. Besides that, I feel that genuineness is a must-have characteristic of a helper. Part of being genuine is letting people see you for who you are. Egan said, Genuine people are at home with themselves and therefore can comfortably be themselves in all their interactions (p. 53). So, how can a helper be genuine, be him or herself, without disclosing certain things about his or her own life with the help seeker? My philosophy of counseling also makes distinctions based on with whom I am dealing. This does not come from a place of bias or prejudice but from the idea that those who know God received instruction on how to live in order to please God. Also, the Bible makes a distinction

between those that know God and those who do not (1 Thessalonians 4:1-7). God called those that know Him to live a holy life. 1 John 5:3 says, This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome. Lest anyone should say that obedience is a sign of love, but to not obey does not necessarily constitute not loving, John 14:23-24 elaborates: Jesus replied, If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. These statements make it clear that being a follower of Christ means living in obedience to His teaching, that is, His Word the Bible. This is not required of those that do not claim to love God. This is not to say that to be a Christian one must be perfect. The Bible acknowledges that, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Jesus knows this too, that is why He died for us, not just those who lived before He came. Paul, a convert to Christianity after Christs death, has

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become a hero of the Christian faith and yet he told of his struggles with sin in Romans 7:15. Once choose to follow Christ we still sin, the issue is whether or not we struggle. If there is no struggle or remorse, that is a problem. I think a perfect example of a person that is truly struggling with his sin is Phil, an example of a client that Worthington (1982) referenced throughout his book. As a Christian, if I am in a helping relationship with another Christian I will expect that the helping relationship we make Biblical truth the foundation of the intervention. I think Worthington did a great job of showing how this can be done, however, I understand that these are not values that I can impose on one who does not claim to be a follower of Christ. At the same time, I feel that the values of the institution that I work to uphold by virtue of my employment will also be a determining factor in what standards I will hold help seekers to in helping relationships. In conclusion, I revisit the idea that we are all different. The way my philosophy of counseling would unfold working at Biola University would vary greatly from how it would unfold working at the University of California at Irvine, just as it would be different if I was dealing with my roommate or a perfect stranger, and just as if I were speaking to a Christian pastor versus a Buddhist monk. My approach will require flexibility in order for me to be a relevant and effective helper to all types of people, and yet I will have to maintain it in accordance with who I am as well as the person I am helping. It is great to know that counseling is an art and that every helper has the chance to make something both unique and beautiful of it.

Personal Philosophy References Egan, G. (2002). The skilled helper: A problem-management and opportunitydevelopment approach to helping (7th ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Wadsworth Group. The holy bible new international version ultrathin reference edition. (1986). Nashville: Holman Bible Publishers. Nouwen, H. J. M. (1979). The wounded healer: Ministry in contemporary society. New York: Doubleday. Worthington, E. L., Jr. (1982). When someone asks for help: A practical guide for counseling. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

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