May 11, 2006

JAYPLAYS
TARA SCHUPNER
REVEALS HER EXPERIENCE
AS A DEAF WOMAN
IN A HEARING WORLD. DEAF CULTURE
anything but mainstream
8
A NEW BLIND DATE
have we got an idea for you
13
REDUCE ENERGY
COSTS
your guide to lower bills
5
SILENT BUT HEaRD
Jayplay
Augustana. Grand Emporium,
8 p.m., 18+, $10, www.kcclubs.
com*
Aventura, Adassa. Beaumont
Club, 4 p.m., all ages, FREE, (816)
561-2560*
Blue 88. Slow Ride Roadhouse,
3 p.m., all ages, FREE, 749-2727
Blue Orleans. Slow Ride
Roadhouse, 9 p.m., 21+, FREE,
749-2727
Book signing with Miriam
Auerbach, author of the
mystery Dirty Harriet. Borders,
2 p.m., www.bordersstores.com.
Cotton Candy & So Many Men.
Uncle Bos T-Town Bar, 8:30 p.m.,
21+, $3, www.unclebos.com*
Joe Buck Yourself, Bob Wayne
and Outback Carnies. Replay
Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
replaylounge.com
Right Between The Ears.
Liberty Hall, 5 and 8 p.m., $12-
$16, www.libertyhall.net.
Play: As You Like It. Just Off
Broadway Theater, noon and 6
p.m., all ages, $6.*
The Secret Garden. Lawrence
Arts Center, 10:30 a.m. and 1:30
p.m., www.lawrenceartscenter.
com.
Sleeping Dogs. Stus Midtown
Tavern, 10 p.m., 21+, $3, 856-
STUS
Son Venezuela. Westport
Beach Club, 8 p.m., 21+, FREE,
www.kcclubs.com*
Concert: Eunyoung Cho,
organ. Bales Organ Recital Hall,
7:30 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
ku.edu/~organ
Concert: KU Youth Chorus.
Murphy Hall 328, 5 p.m., all ages,
FREE, www.ku.edu/~sfa

Exhale. EightOneFive Cafe and
Nightclub, 10 p.m., 21+, FREE,
842-8200
Hot Lunch. Jackpot Saloon,
10 p.m., 18+, $5, www.
thejackpotsaloon.com

Installation Class 2006 Annual
Exhibition. KU Art & Design
Gallery, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m., all
ages, FREE, 864-4401
Julia Othmer Band. Jazzhaus,
10 p.m., 21+, $3, www.jazzhaus.
com
Lecture: Professor David
Cateforis, art history, on
Wenda Gus Forest of
Stone Steles - Retranslation
and Rewriting of Tang
Poetry: Translation as
Transformation in the Work
of a Contemporary Chinese
Installation Artist. Spencer
Museum of Art auditorium,
7 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Neon Prom. Granada, 9 p.m.,
18+, $5, www.thegranada.com
Riverboat Gamblers. Replay
Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
replaylounge.com
Stop Day Party. Abe & Jakes,
9 p.m., 21+, $5, www.abejakes.
com
Tea @ Three. Kansas Union,
3 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
suaevents.com
Wine & Cheese Lecture:The
Story of Zhalong Marsh
- Challenges for Wetland
and Crane Conservation in
Northeastern China.ECM
Center, 4:30 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.ceas.ku.edu
a
e d
a
r
THURSDAY 5.11
FRIDAY 5.12
SATURDAY 5.13
Stop Day
Adolescent Eyes. Lawrence
Public Library, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.,
all ages, FREE, www.lawrence.
lib.ks.us
Approach w/the Pomonas.
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $4, www.
jazzhaus.com
Bingo. Eagles Lodge, 7 p.m., all
ages, FREE, 843-9690
Black Christmas. Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $4-$6,
www.thejackpotsaloon.com
Cosmic Bowling. Kansas Union,
11 p.m. to 1 a.m., all ages, FREE,
www.suaevents.com
Dear Old Kansas. Signs of Life
Gallery, open hours, all ages,
FREE, 830-8030
Installation Class 2006 Annual
Exhibition. KU Art & Design
Gallery, all day, all ages, FREE,
864-4401
Jace Everett. Grand Emporium,
8 p.m., all ages, $8, www.kcclubs.
com *
Paintings by Missy McCoy.
Lawrence Public Library, 9 a.m.
to 6 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
lawrence.lib.ks.us
Paintings, Mixed Media,
Collages and Monoprints
by Laurie Culling and Karen
Wiley. Lawrence Public Library,
9 a.m. to 6 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.lawrence.lib.ks.us
Phat Fridays. Johnnys Tavern,
10 p.m., 21+, FREE, 842-0377
Photography Between the
Wars. Spencer Museum of Art,
10 a.m. 5 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.spencerart.ku.edu
Play: As You Like It. Just Off
Broadway Theater, 6 p.m., all
ages, $6.*
Poker Pub. Liquid, 7p.m., 21+,
FREE, 749-HAWK
Pomeroy. Granada, 8 p.m., 18+,
$7, www.thegranada.com
The Garden: Season to
Season. Fields Gallery, 7 p.m., all
ages, FREE, 842-7187
Trivia Riot. The Brick, 7
p.m., 21+, cost varies, www.
thebrickkcmo.com*
Tunes@Noon. Kansas Union,
12 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
suaevents.com
Workshop: Establishing &
Nurturing Teams. Kansas
Union, 11:30 a.m., all ages, FREE,
www.hreo.ku.edu
Beaumont Club
4050 Pennsylvania Avenue
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 561-2560
The Brick
1727 McGee St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 421-1634
Daveys Uptown
3402 Main St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-1909
Grand Emporium
3832 Main St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 531-1504
Just Off Broadway Theater
Penn Valley Park, 3051 Central
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 561-6445
Kemper Museum of Art
4420 Warwick Blvd.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 561-3737
Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art
4525 Oak St.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 751-1278
Record Bar
1020 Westport Rd.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 753-5207
Uncle Bos T-Town Bar
420 S.E. Sixth St.
Topeka
(785) 234-5400
Westport Beach Club
4050 Pennsylvania Ave.
Kansas City, Mo.
(816) 931-2224
WHERE
05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 03
Augustana Bingo
Pomeroy In Flames
The Rocket Summer
*
Dear Old Kansas
Jace Everett Right Between the Ears
Farmers market
02

JAYPLAY 05.11.2006
TUESDAY 5.16
1st Annual Photography
Contest. The Image Works, 9
a.m. to 6 p.m., all ages, $5-$15,
www.iwiphoto.com
Explore Evolution. Natural
History Museum, 9 a.m. to 5
p.m., all ages, FREE, www.nhm.
ku. edu
Exhibition: Transformations.
Spencer Museum of Art, 10 a.m.
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
KU Student Textile Design
Exhibition. Spencer Museum
of Art, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., all
ages, FREE, www.spencerart.
ku.edu
Order of Chaos. Jackpot
Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $3-$5,
www.thejackpotsaloon.com
Poker Pub. Slow Ride
Roadhouse, 7 and 10 p.m., 21+,
FREE, 749-2727
Project Independent with
Grain, I.R.A.T.E., Leadboot
Marathon, Messiah Complex,
Evermourn. Grand Emporium,
9 p.m., 18+, FREE, www.kcclubs.
com*
Traktor from Albuquerque.
The Record Bar, 10 p.m., 21+, $7,
www.therecordbar.com*
Weekday Farmers Market.
10
th
and Vermont, 4 to 6 p.m., all
ages, FREE
WEDNESDAY 5.17
That Acoustic Jam Thing.
Jazzhaus, 10 p.m., 21+, $2, www.
jazzhaus.com
Atticus vonHolten: Pictures of
Knights. The Olive Gallery and
Art Supply, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., all
ages, FREE, www.oliveart.org
Bingo. Eagles Lodge, 7 p.m., all
ages, FREE, 843-9690
Boo and Boo Too, Evening
Grey, Wave on Barrage.
Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+, $4,
www.thejackpotsaloon.com
Dave Insley with The
Rumblejetts. Knuckleheads, 7
p.m., 21+, $5, knuckleheadskc.
com*
Justin Lemoureux, Reagan
and the Ray-guns, Kyle
Harvey. Harbour Lights, 10 p.m.,
21+, $2, 841-1960
Patrice Pike, Ginger Leigh.
Daveys Uptown Bar, 8 p.m., 21+,
$10, www.daveysuptown.com*
Poker Pub. Pool Room, 7 and
10 p.m., 21+, FREE, 749-5039
Poker Pub. Setem Up Jacks, 6
and 8 p.m., 21+, FREE, 832-2030
The Rocket Summer. The
Granada, 8 p.m., all ages, $12,
www.thegranada.com
Valiant Thorr, Metal School.
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2,
www.replaylounge.com
MONDAY 5.15
Atticus vonHolten: Pictures of
Knights. The Olive Gallery and
Art Supply, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., all
ages, FREE, http://oliveart.org/
Exhibition: Dear Old Kansas.
Signs of Life, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.,
all ages, FREE, http://www.
signsofifegallery.com/
Gomez. Grand Emporium, 8
p.m., 21+, $20, www.kcclubs.
com*
In Flames. The Granada, 7
p.m., all ages, $20-$22, www.
thegranada.com
Metal School with DJ Cruz. The
Jackpot Saloon, 10 p.m., 18+,
FREE, www.thejackpotsaloon.
com
NeoGenesis. Daveys Uptown
Bar, 9:30 p.m., 21+, FREE, www.
daveysuptown.com*
Poker Pub. The Pink Flamingo
Club, 7 and 10 p.m., 21+, FREE,
843-9800
System and Station. The
Replay Lounge, 10 p.m., 21+, $2,
www.replaylounge.com
SUNDAY 5.14
Atticus vonHolten: Pictures of
Knights. The Olive Gallery and
Art Supply, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., all
ages, FREE, www.oliveart.org
Book Signing with Dr. Burton
Dunbar. Nelson-Atkins Museum
of Art, Kirkwood Hall, 2 to 4 p.m.,
all ages, FREE, www.nelson-
atkins.org/events
Drakkar Sauna, The Robot Ate
Me, J. Ashley Miller. Replay
Lounge, 5 p.m., all ages, $3,
www.replaylounge.com
Explore Evolution. Natural
History Museum, 9 a.m. to 5
p.m., all ages, FREE, www.nhm.
ku. edu
Exhibition: Transformations.
Spencer Museum of Art, 12
to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE, www.
spencerart.ku.edu
Exhibition: Ping-Pong
Diplomacy: Stephen Hendee
& Phoebe Washburn. Kemper
Museum of Contemporary Art,
11 a.m. to 5 p.m., all ages, FREE,
www.kemperart.org
Islands. The Bottleneck, 8 p.m.,
all ages. $8, www.bottlenecklive.
com
Mothers Day Tour: Mothers in
Art. Nelson-Atkins Museum of
Art, 1 to 2 p.m. and 2 to 3 p.m.,
all ages, reservations required,
www.nelson-atkins.org/events
Robyn Nichols Trunk Show.
Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art,
Kirkwood Hall, 1 to 3 p.m., all
ages, FREE, www.nelson-atkins.
org/events
Embodiment
05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 03
2 for 1 DVD/VHS
Storewide!
$5 Student Tickets
$1.75 Draws
Rent 1st DVD/VHS at
full price, each follow-
ing title only $1. Check
out the latest movies,
concerts & events at
www.libertyhally.net
Red Dot catalog
DVD titles $1 each. All
kids VHS 75. Check
out the latest movies,
concerts & events at
www.libertyhall.net
Rent 1 DVD/VHS at full
price, each following
title is only $1. Check
out the latest movies,
concerts, & events at
www.libertyhall.net
DVD Classics Revue:
Rent 1st DVD at full
price, get a classic
DVD 1/2 price. Movie-
Matinee Mondays, all
movie tickets $5
New Release Day.
Check out brand new
titles! Movie-Two
for one Tuesday! 2
people for the price
of one.
Dealers choice - rent
whats playing on our
TV, get a second title
of equal value for 1/2
price. Movie &5 student
tickets, $1.75 Draws
$1 Shots
$2.25 Bottles
$1 Shots
$2.25 Bottles
$1 Shots
$2.25 Bottles
$1.50 Draws
Smackdown
Karaoke!
$1 Off Imports $1 Shots
$2.25 Bottles
$1 Shots
$2.25 Bottles
$2.50 Big Beers
$3.00 Big Blvd
$2.75 Jager Bombs
$3.75 DBL Energy
Drinks, Captain &
Beam$1.25 House
Shots
$2.50 16oz Cans
$3.75 DBL U.V.
Vodka Flavors
$1.25 House
Shots
$2 Rolling Rock
$3.75 DBL Wells
& LITs
$1.25 House
Shots
$1.50 Pints
$4.00 Pitchers
$3.50 Double
Bicardi Flavors
$1.25 House
shots
$2.00 Domestic
Cans
$3.50 DBL Capt
Morg & Parrot Bay
Flavors
$1.25 House
Shots
$2.00 Pints
$3 Double Wells
& LITs
Wheel Collector
Pints $2.00
$1.50 SoCo/Lime
$1.50 PBR
DRAWS $1
Green Lantern
Shots
$3 Makers
Mark
$2.50
Boulevard
Draws
$2 Wells $1.50
Domestic
Draws
$3 Premium
$3 Bulleit
Horsefeathers
TheGranada
$2 Almost
Anything
$2.50 16oz.
Domestic
Bottles
$3 Double
Captain Morgan
$3 Vodka
Energy Drinks
$3 Big Beers
$3 Bloody
Mary
$5 any Pitcher
$2 Wells
$2 Domestic
Bottles
$2 Domestic
Pints
$2 UV Mixers
$3 Domestic
Pitcher
$3 Malibus
Domestic Beer:
$1 Draws/$1.75
Liters Micro/
Imported Beer:
$2.25 Draws/$4
Liters
$1.50 HighLife $2 Rolling Rock $1.50 Busch/PBR
Cans, $2 HighLife
Tallboys
LIVE MUSIC
Draws: $1
Domestic/$1.50
Micro/$1.75
Import
$2 Domestic
Bottles
$2 Micro Pints
$2 Wells
$4 Doubles
LIVE MUSIC
$3 Beer
Pitchers
$1.75 Big
Draws
$4 Big Draws
Boulavard
$2.50 Aluminum
bottles of Bud,
Bud Light, Bud
Select
$2.50 Big
Draws
$2.25 Mexican
Beer bottles
$2.50 Quervo
shots & Quervo
Margaritas
$1.75 Big
Draws
$2 Double Wells
$3.50 Double Calls
$2 Jager Bombs
$1.50 Pints
$3 House Martinis
$4 Double Jack Drinks
$3.50 Double
Bacardi Drinks
$2.50 Corona &
Pacifico Bottles
$2.25 Domestic
Bottles
$3.50 Double
Captain, Skyy, &
Jim Beam Drinks
$2 Big Beers
$1 Rolling Rock
$ 1.50 Apple
Jacks
$1.50 SoCo/Lime
$1 Wells
$1 Pucker
$1 Natural Light,
PBR & MHL Bottles
$1.50 Domestic
Bottles
$1.50 Smirnoff, UV,
& Bacardi Flavored
Drinks
$1 Wells
$1.50 Calls
$1.50 Domestic
Bottles
$2 Premium Drinks
$2 Premium Beers
$3 Puckertinis
$2 Imports
$3 Jager Bombs
$3 Guiness
3 Tostadas $5
$2 Bully/Freestate
Draws
$2 Coronas
$2 Captains
$5.50 Chk. Fried
Steak Mashed/
Gravy Vegg.
$1 Wells
$2 Red Stripe
$2 Michelob Ultra
$1 Burgers
$1.50 Draws w/
Glass Purchase
$1.50 Screw Drivers
FREE BRATS & $3
B&G (while supplies
last)
$3 Nacho Supreme
$3 Domestic Liters
50 Wings
$1.50 Bottles
1 hr Pool
1 Pizza (2 top-
ping)
1 Pitcher (beer/
soda) for $10
All 6 Smirnoff
Flavors $2
75 Tacos
lunch-Chicken
Finger Wrap din-
ner-Wings
$1.50 Single Wells
$2 Wheat Draws
lunch-Chicken Fried
Steak dinner-HALF
PRICE APPITIZERS
4-6PM $2.50 Single
Crown, Absolut,
Mailbu drinks $3
Guiness Draws
lunch-California
Turkey Sandwich
dinner-Steak Entree
$2.50 Domestic
Bottles $2 Single Jack,
Captain, Smirnoff
Drinks
lunch & dinner-
wings
$3 Double Bloody
Marys $7/$11
2/3 DOMESTIC
TOWERS
lunch-Buffalo
Chicken Salad din-
ner-Chicken Finger
Basket $2.50
Aluminum Bud &
Bud Light Bottles
$2.75 Import bottles
lunch-Hot Ham &
Cheese
dinner-HALF
PRICE BURGERS
$2 Domestic Pints
lunch- BBQ
Sandwich dinner-
75 Hard Shell
Tacos 85 Soft
Shell $2.50 Cuervo
Margaritas &
Mexican Beers
STOP DAY
PARTY! w/ DJ
Scottie Mac
21+
Come see us
TONIGHT!
Come see us
FRIDAY!
Come see us
FRIDAY!
Come see us
FRIDAY!
Come see us
FRIDAY!
Come see us
FRIDAY!
LIVE MUSIC IN
LAWRENCE AT
TheGranada.com
LIVE MUSIC IN
LAWRENCE AT
TheGranada.com
LIVE MUSIC IN
LAWRENCE AT
TheGranada.com
LIVE MUSIC IN
LAWRENCE AT
TheGranada.com
LIVE MUSIC IN
LAWRENCE AT
TheGranada.com
LIVE MUSIC IN
LAWRENCE AT
TheGranada.com
LIVE MUSIC IN
LAWRENCE AT
TheGranada.com
EAST SIDE
Charlies
$3.75 Pitchers $2.00 20oz
Draws
$4.75 All-U-
Can-Eat Taco
$4.75 Indian
Tacos
$1.00 12oz.
Draws
$2 Bottles $2.00 20oz
Draws
1/2 price appetizers
$2 Import bottles
$2.50 23oz.
Domestic Sluggers
$1 off sandwiches
$2 23oz. Domestic
Sluggers
$2.75 select 23oz.
Import Sluggers
$2 Domestic Bottles
$2 14oz. Domestic
$3 select 23oz.
Import Sluggers
$2 Bloddy Marys
30 WINGS
$2.25 23oz Domestic
Sluggers
$3.25 23oz Import
Sluggers
$1 Wells
2-4-1 Taste of
Chicago
$2 14oz Domestic
$2 Wells
$2 Margaritas
2-4-1 BURGERS
$2 Domestic bottles
$2 14oz Domestic
$2 Wells
$2 Calls
04

JAYPLAY 05.11.2006
A BRIGHT IDEA
With energy bills on the rise and gas
up to nearly $3 a gallon, students are
feeling the pinch in their wallets. These
tips will save you from sweltering
summer spending.
INSULATE YOUR WINDOWS
Put plastic sheeting over your windows, says Rod Ernst,
owner of Ernst and Sons Hardware, 826 Massachusetts
St. This will trap cool air in your home, keeping you from
cranking up your air conditioner. Found at any hardware
store, insulation is also good for keeping warm in the winter.
NIX THE DRYER
Want to get that true fresh breeze smell in your laundry? After washing your clothes, skip the electric dryer. It uses
energy to both operate and to heat your clothes. Instead, hang your clothes outside to air dry.I hang mine outside as
long as its not freezing, says Marshall Hilton, St. Louis senior. He uses a clothesline to reduce energy consumption.
UNPLUG YOUR APPLIANCES
Unplugging your phone charger when youre not recharging your cell can
go a long way. Appliances use energy, even when theyre not turned on,
says Sharon Ashworth, environmental studies lecturer. Theres still a little
electricity connected because that appliance is ready to go, she says.
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS
When youre leaving a room or the house, fip
that switch off.Its very simple and very easy,
but people just dont do it, Ashworth says.
Not only will this lower your energy bills, but
it will keep your home cooler. Only about 10-
15 percent of incandescent bulbs electricity
goes to lighting your home most is turned
into heat, according to the U.S. Department of
Energy. So keep cool and turn those bulbs off.
USE FLOURESCENT bULbS
Replace your regular incandescent bulbs
with screw-in fuorescent ones. They draw
less current and last longer than the old
incandescents, Ernst says. Compact fuorescent
bulbs last about 10,000 hours, or 10 times as
long as incandescent bulbs, according to the
Federal Trade Commission. With that kind of
lifetime, you might not have to change them
for more than a year. They light up your home
just the same, but only use a quarter of the
energy that your regular pear-shaped bulb
uses, according to the FTC. Sold anywhere
from hardware stores to Target, these bulbs
cost about $9 for a two-pack.They cost more
initially, but over a period of their life spans, they
can save you money, Ernst says.
USE YOUR
DISHWASHER
SPARINGLY
Only run your dishwasher
when its full. Most of the energy
to operate the appliance is used
to heat the water, so running it
less often with more dishes in
it will save water and energy,
according to the U.S. Department
of Energy.
Let your dishes air-dry. Turn off
your dishwasher for the dry cycle
and prop the door open. This
saves the energy it takes to create
heat.
HECK, FORGET THE
CAR
Find an alternative to driving.
Students have healthy, able
bodies that can easily bike or
walk, Ashworth says. People
are shortsighted in that they
dont see gas as a big use of our
energy, she says. And if you are
driving in the summer, dont
drive during the middle of the
day when its hottest. The heat
traps more pollutants, which can
cause ozone alerts, she says.
USE YOUR NOGGIN
Saving energy is simple if you just think about what youre doing. Next time you
crank the thermostat down to 60, decide if its really necessary, or if you could
handle it at 72. Youll still be cool and use less energy, keeping your wallet intact
for Friday night spending. Consider the environmental impacts of what you
do, Ashworth says. Thinking about your actions will usually lead you to think of
ways to alter what you do and adapt to using less energy, she says.
OR AT LEAST TUNE UP YOUR CAR
The best way to cut gas costs is to drive less, says Tom Collina, executive director of 20/20
Vision, a non-proft organization dedicated to global initiatives.Making sure your tires
are flled and in good condition can help too, he says. Driving with fully infated tires
gets you better mileage. Using fuel-effcient motor oil also can cut gas costs, Collina says.
These produce fewer emissions, keeping your car clean.Making sure your car is getting
the best mileage per gallon is key.What kind of car you buy, what kind of oil
you use and how often you drive makes a big difference, Collina says.
CLOSE YOUR bLINDS
It sounds simple, but closing your mini-blinds or curtains
not only keeps out the Peeping Toms but also Mr. Golden
Sun. During hot summer days, keeping out the extra rays can
keep a home cool, Ernst says.
by Carolyn Tharp
05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 05
NOTICE
ALL PHOTOS JARED GAB
06

JAYPLAY 05.11.2006
W
Girl: Lip liner works about as
well as birth control.
Girl: Oh my God!
Guy: What?
Girl: That car almost hit that
guy. I think he peed his pants.
(giggles)
Guy: (whispering on the
phone) Im high on campus
and freaking out. (pause)
Yeah, Ive been before, just not
when Id run into teachers.

Liz Nartowicz
WESCOE WIT
Strapless dresses are in for the summer.
Actually, theyve never really been out
of style, says Angie Stewart, manager
at Casbah, 803 Massachusetts St.Its a
fattering ft, especially for those with wide
shoulders. Straps tend to bring attention
to that area and some women dont like
that.When shopping for a strapless dress,
Stewart says to make sure it fts comfortably
in the rib cage and bust areas. Otherwise
too much breast or armpit bulge can show,
which can make you look bigger than you
are. The dress should ft relatively low on
the bust, enough to show a bit of cleavage,
and dont forget to wear a push-up bra for
maximum voluptuousness.

Melinda Osborne
FASHION TREND
KISS THE COOK
1 can pizza crust
8 meat slices
8 cheese slices
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Roll pizza crust out on un-
greased cookie sheet. Spread meat and cheese slices on
top of dough. Roll pizza crust from longest side to longest
side. Seal edges tightly. Brush with butter and desired
seasonings. Bake for approximately 20 minutes or until
golden. Let stand for fve minutes. Slice and serve.

Erin Wisdom
HOT SANDWICH ROLL-UP
Photo from www.andria.puglia.it
PRODUCT REVIEW
LONg jOHN SILveRS
bROCCOLI CHeeSe
bITeS
Long John Silvers, 1503 W. 23rd St., new Broccoli
Cheese Bites bring a whole new meaning to the
eat your veggies mantra youve always heard.
The last time I checked, veggies that are deep-fried
and mixed with processed cheese probably dont
meet nutritional standards but that doesnt
mean the bites arent delicious. Deep-fried? Good.
Cheese? Good. And while the broccoli is in there,
its rare. A better name might be Broccoli Cheese
Soup Bites. Get your veggies for $1.49.
Melissa Byrd
BITE
If Jennifer Calderwood, Seneca
sophomore, doesnt eat breakfast, she
feels hungry and is always wondering
when she will be able to grab a bite to
eat. Eating breakfast provides me with
more energy, even through lunch, she
says. Because of my late schedule, I
dont eat until later in the day.Like many
students, she usually grabs something
as she is running out the door. But this
can lead to unhealthy choices.
Breakfast may be the most important
meal of the day, but its often the most
overlooked. Experts have been telling us
for years that a healthy breakfast refuels
your body and jump-starts your day, yet
many of us still start the morning with
sugary cereals, highly caloric drinks or
nothing.
People should eat foods high in fber
and protein, says Leslie Bonci, registered
dietitian and director of sports nutrition
at the University of Pittsburgh Medical
Center. Foods with fber and protein
help one to feel fuller for longer, and the
body needs to expend more calories to
digest them, Bonci says.
Here are some helpful suggestions to
make over your current breakfast plan.
If you drink your breakfast
If you cant seem to function without
a jolt of caffeine in the morning, you
might want to take a second glance at
what your drink is giving you in calories.
One 12-ounce latte contains 180 calories
and 10 grams of fat.
If its caffeine youre going for, Nancy
Donahey, clinical dietitian at Lawrence
Memorial Hospital, suggests regular or
favored brewed coffees and teas plus
fat-free half-and-half or creamers. If its
a warm caffeine-free beverage youre
seeking, Donahey recommends decaf
coffee or favored tea.
Fruit smoothies or shakes also can
provide you with the vitamins you
should be getting with your breakfast.
Bonci recommends a breakfast shake
that combines milk, fat-free yogurt and
frozen fruit or a banana.
If you hit up fast food breakfasts
Youre driving down the road, and
those gleaming golden arches tempt
you. You might want to think again
about heading through the drive-thru.
A McDonalds bacon, egg and cheese
McGriddle has about 560 calories and
32 grams of fat.
If you just cant force yourself away
from fast food, Donahey says the
McDonalds Egg McMuffn is one of the
lowest-fat fast food breakfast items,
with 300 calories and 12 from fat.It can
provide you with some protein along
with carbohydrates to carry you through
the morning, she says.
She also recommends staying away
from sandwiches on croissants and
biscuits because both breads are high
in fat. Omitting cheese also will help
reduce fat grams and calories.
If you love Tony the Tiger
Everybody loves breakfast with
the Trix rabbit, the Lucky Charms
leprechaun or Tony the Tiger. However,
these cereals provide you with large
amounts of sugar.
If your version of breakfast is milk and
cereal, Donahey says to look for cereals
that are made with whole grains. Sugars
sucrose, high fructose corn syrup and
honey, to name a few should not be
among the frst few ingredients, she says.
Rallie McAllister, a physician weight-
loss expert and newspaper columnist,
has published a cereal report card on
WebMD.com.
A+
For: Cereals that are very low in sugar
and fat, but high in fber.
Try: Fiber One, All Bran Original or
Extra, Nabisco Shredded Wheat
A
For: Cereals with very low sugar and
fat and some fber.
Try: Cheerios, Total Corn Flakes,
Wheaties, Crispix, Rice Krispies, Special K
B
For: Cereals that are high in fber and
low in fat.
Try: Complete Oat Bran Flakes, Frosted
Mini Wheats, Grape-Nuts, Raisin Bran
C and D
For: Cereals with more than 3 grams
of fat.
Try: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Raisin
Nut Bran, Cracklin Oat Bran, Banana Nut
Crunch,
F
For: Cereals that are low in fber and
high in fat and sugar.
Try: Cocoa Puffs, Trix, Frosted Flakes,
Fruity Pebbles, Honey-Comb, Reeses
Puffs
If you just dont have the time
Nearly four in 10 adults skip breakfast,
according to a recent poll by ABC
News. A recent study by psychologist
David Schlundt of Vanderbilt University
assigned women to either eat or skip
breakfast for 12 weeks. Schlundt found
that eating breakfast helps spread your
food intake throughout the day.Skipping
breakfast makes you very hungry later in
the day and leads to overeating and poor
food choices,he says.
If you are into the grab-and-go
lifestyle, like Calderwood, Bonci
recommends a parfait with vanilla
yogurt, berries, granola and slivered
almonds or a trail mix of cereal, pretzels,
nuts, dried fruit and granola.
Just a few changes in your breakfast
diet can make those long days on
campus a little easier to handle.
Make over your
05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 07
BITE
Grab one of these healthy alternatives to help you through the day
FAvorite breAkFAst
Foods oF kU
stUdents
Jim Flaigle, Wichita senior
I dont like to pick favorites,
because breakfast foods are
like my children, but since
all parents pick favorites
anyways, I would say eggs.
Although chicken fried steak
is a delicious alternative.
Sarah Dodge, Overland Park
senior
If I go out for breakfast, I love
getting pancakes or French
toast with eggs or fruit.
Jennifer Calderwood, Seneca
sophomore
A bagel with strawberry
cream cheese.
Niki Fanara, Dallas senior
Honey wheat bagels with
nutella, and my guilty
pleasure would be a
peanut butter and banana
sandwich.
by Carrie Hillard
JARED GAB
breakfast
08 JAYPLAY 05.11.2006 05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 09
by Tara Schupner
A KU student struggles to fnd balance between the hearing and Deaf communities.
(In my world)
My alarm clock goes off silently, a white disc under
my mattress vibrating as strongly as pots and pans
crashing to the foor. I slap at the snooze button. I hate
being shaken awake, but regular alarm clocks dont
work for me, because Im deaf.
As I roll out of bed and get ready for class, I won-
der what the day will be like. Will it be a good day?
Or will it be one of those days I feel trapped between
two worlds?
Im not the only student at KU with a hearing loss.
But Im the only one who uses American Sign Lan-
guage and identifes myself as culturally Deaf, as op-
posed to lower-case-d deaf. Culturally Deaf people
capitalize the D to show they are members of a com-
munity and use ASL rather than other sign languages.
The lowercase word is used to refer to deaf or hard-of-
hearing people who dont consider themselves mem-
bers of the Deaf culture, or to refer to deafness itself
(the loss of hearing) from the medical perspective.
Because Im the only culturally Deaf student at
KU, my experience is different than the other deaf
and hard-of-hearing students. It can be lonely and
frustrating, but thats the trade-off for getting the
education I want.
I sit with my mother, facing my counselor. In a few
months, I will graduate from high school. I have todecide
between a hearing college and Gallaudet, the countrys
sole liberal arts university for the deaf. To stay in the
hearing world, or to seek a place in the Deaf-World, as
the Deaf call it.
My mother is concerned. Ive been depressed for years
and Im struggling in school this semester. She doesnt
knowwhat to do. So she has come to one of my counsel-
ing sessions, hoping for answers.
Its because Im lonely, my counselor tells her. Ive been
isolated, with hearing people I cant communicate with.
Once I get to Gallaudet and am around other deaf peo-
ple, Ill be happier.
Gallaudet. I breathe the name as though its a prayer,
a promise of salvation.
I greet my interpreters as I walk into the room. I
have two interpreters in each class. They switch ev-
ery 20 minutes, because interpreting is tiring, not just
physically, but mentally. Interpreting isnt just signing
everything thats said its translating spoken Eng-
lish into American Sign Language.
Imported from France in the early 1800s, ASL has
a French-based grammar. Its recognized as a foreign
language by 40 states and is taught as such in hun-
dreds of schools nationwide. Its different from Signed
English, which I grew up signing and other deaf stu-
dents at KU use.
Which sign language to teach deaf children is con-
troversial. Manually Coded English systems, or English
on the hands, were invented by educators in the 70s
and became popular in the80s. Proponents say its the
best way to make sure deaf students learn English be-
cause its a direct representation of the language.
There is no written form of ASL, says Barbara
Luetke-Stahlman, deaf education professor at Texas
Womens University and former director of KU Medi-
cal Centers Deaf Education program. If a child is to
learn to read and write profciently, they must be able
to use that same language.
But most culturally Deaf people believe deaf chil-
dren should be taught ASL as a frst language, and
English second.
SE is not a language, says Shawn Broderick, in-
terpreting professor at Johnson County Commu-
nity College. ASL is complex its hard to learn,
but makes more sense visually for deaf people.
I talk with my friends, our hands fying furiously,
as we walk on campus. I cant remember being so
happy. Finally, I can communicate with everyone.
Im not quite fuent in ASL, but Im learning quickly.
Imlearning other things, too. Like what it means to be
culturally Deaf, not lower-case-d deaf. Not broken and
needing to be fxed. Here, deafness is not a disability, but a
culture. Anethnicity. Somethingtobe proudof.
Of the 28 million Americans with a hearing loss,
about 500,000 make up the Deaf-World. This communi-
ty fts the criteria of an ethnic group, including customs,
values, social structure and kinship, says Harlan Lane,
Northeastern University professor. The idea of deafness
as a disability is a social construct, he says, because the
concept of disability derives from a particular culture at
a particular time and can change.
Alcoholism went from moral faw to crime to dis-
ability. Homosexuality went from moral faw, to crime,
to treatable disability, to a minority group seeking civil
rights, Lane says.
The strong sense of kinship in the Deaf-World makes
it feel like one big family. At Gallaudet, Ive found a new
family.
As the professor speaks, I
watch the interpreter. I often
look away to give my eyes a break.
I use these breaks to glance at
my classmates and gauge their
reactions to whats said. Humor
can sometimes be lost in trans-
lation, so I watch for when they
laugh. Then, I smile. I dont laugh
because, in middle school, some
kids made fun of my laugh. Since
then, I try not to laugh in front of
hearing people.
My brain works to reinterpret
what I see. My frst language was a
combination of written English and
Signed English, so I mentally trans-
late ASL back into (written) English to understand the
original message.
Because my mind is so busy with this process, it of-
ten takes me a minute to realize when Im called on
or when I want to say something. By then, because of
lag time the time it takes the interpreter to inter-
pret the message I often miss my chance to speak
up.
As the weeks go by, Im enjoying my classes. All my
teachers and classmates sign. For the frst time, I can
communicate with them directly.
Im thrilled that I dont need interpreters anymore,
and Im realizing how frustrating it was to rely on them
all the time. I rarely contributed to classroom discussions
in high school because I didnt feel my input was worth
the time and energy it took to get it through to my hear-
ing classmates.
Here, my confdence is at an all-time high. Im one of
the most talkative students, and I love the intellectual
stimulation in and out of the classroom.
I also love the social life. I work for the newspa-
per and, for the frst time, I have an active dating and
party life. I went on dates with hearing guys in high
school, but those always fzzled because of com-
munication. Now I can talk and firt with guys.
I sit back and watch my classmates discussing our
projects. The discussions often go too fast for me to
participate in because Im so busy trying to fgure out
whos saying what and whats being said.
This is a common problem for students who use
interpreters, KU interpreter coordinator Kim Bates
says. Participation depends on how assertive the
student is and his or her desire to be involved, and
whether the hearing students want to know what
the deaf student has to say, she says.
One of my classmates, who is black, talks about how
some African-Americans struggle with their identity.
Those who grow up in a predominantly white area
and try to go to historically black schools fnd them-
selves too white, or having too many white charac-
teristics, to ft in. They feel stuck between two worlds,
not quite ftting in either.
I lean forward, nodding. Yes,
I know how that feels, I want
to say. But the class has moved
on to another subject, not no-
ticing my nodding. Resigned, I
slouch and fiddle with my pen,
my desire to participate fading.
Im starting to become uncom-
fortable here at Gallaudet. Uncer-
tain about my place. Im starting to
notice the schisms within the Deaf-
World.
There are cliques, their lines
drawn up according to how cultur-
ally Deaf members are. Even frater-
nities and sororities followthese divisions.
Deaf-family kids or deaf children of deaf parents
and those who attended deaf schools at one point
are the elite. Campus leaders and bigwigs usually be-
long to this group. Then there are mainstreamers, who
went to hearing schools and usually have hearing par-
ents and sign English. Many are considered too hear-
ing, even if they have absolute hearing loss.
Students who grew up without sign language often
come to Gallaudet knowing little more than the fnger-
spelled alphabet. Crueler students make fun of them
and tell them to go back to the hearing world when they
cant learn ASL fast enough.
My place within all this is tenuous. Im mainstream
and often told Im toohearing-minded. But I have more
deaf-school friends than mainstream because of my
boyfriend, who went to the Indiana School for the Deaf.
I sign ASL, but not fuently enough to pass for deaf-fam-
ily, and barely well enough to pass for a deaf-schooler.
I start to fudge my background, saying I used to go to
the Kansas School for the Deaf when it was really only
for a Deaf Studies class one semester. But it makes me
uncomfortable topretend. Beingdeaf should be enough.
As class ends, I walk out, chatting with the inter-
preters. They are the only people I talk to for days
at a time, since I dont have any friends in Law-
rence. I see the other deaf students infrequently.
I dont have any hearing friends from KU all
my friends live in my hometown, Lenexa. Its hard
to make friends here because nobody seems to
know how to get past the communication barrier.
Im not alone. Jackie Smiley, Sandusky, Ohio, ju-
nior, has felt frustrated with her classmates.
Sometimes other students start talking to me,she
says, not knowing Im deaf, and when they fnd out,
they just stop.
Thats happened to me, many times. Now, rather
than trying to salvage the conversation, I just shrug
and let it go. After 23 years of struggling, its become
a habit to not try.
But, optimistic by nature, I frequently fnd myself
making eye contact and hoping someone will make
that frst step. If they would just try, Id meet them half-
way, and then some. I wish people wouldnt leave it up
to me to make the frst step. Im an extrovert, but its
too scary to take that frst step every time with every
new person.
Dont assume that sole responsibility of com-
munication lies with the deaf person, Bates says.
The ASL sign for communication, she says, implies
a two-way process.

Its my third semester at Gallaudet and Im unhappy.
The polluted air of Washington, D.C., is making me sick,
and, a year after 9/11, snipers are terrorizing the city.
Why did I leave nice, quiet Kansas, I grumble. But theres
no deaf college there, so I stay.
Im also dissatisfed with things on campus. Because
the Deaf-World is so small, and Gallaudet even smaller,
gossip and rumors spread like wildfre, and can be vi-
cious. Isolated all my life, Im not used to dealing with
gossip, and I dont handle it well.
Whats more, I often feel like Im judged for my
background, not my merits. Im still considered too
hearing-minded I cling to some hearing-world
values and havent adopted some Deaf-World ones.
For example, hearing people tend to value education-
al achievement more, while Deaf people value leader-
ship and athletic talent. Many deaf students struggle
in academics, but experts disagree as to why. In ath-
letics and leadership, the field is evened out between
deaf and hearing, and academics dont matter.
When I excel in school, Im accused of showing off and
thinkingIm better than everyone. SoI founder, confused
about where I belong. Do I belong in the hearing world,
after all? Should I stay, or should I leave?
I dont get to decide. My body does. I get sick, and I go
home a week before fnals. But I will come back, I tell my-
self, and I will fnd my place.
As I walk down the hill to my car, I check my pager for
e-mails. My Sidekick is to me what cell phones are to hear-
ing people, and then some. I use it for e-mails, AOL Instant
Messenger andtext messages.It costs alot morethanacell
phone, but its theonlywaypeoplecancontact me.
I get an e-mail frommy mother. She wants me to call
her. She cant call me because I dont have a strobe light
to alert me when the phone rings. Its too expensive.
So, when I get home, I turn on the TV, pull up a
chair and dial the Video Relay Service. When the
interpreter appears on-screen, I look into the web-
cam and sign to her, giving her my mothers phone
number. When my mother answers, the conversa-
tion flows back and forth through the interpreter.
We talk about the story Im working on. I tell her
how Im struggling with how to explain what its
like being a deaf person in a hearing world. Shes
very supportive, helping me to keep going when
I want to give up. But it wasnt always this way.
Were inthe kitchen, screamingat eachother. I want to go
backtoGallaudet,but mymother hasput her foot down.
Youre not goingback there!she yells with her hands
and voice.Youll decide to cut us off because were hear-
ing, not deaf!
Thats not true!
Im not stupid. I know the Deaf-World doesnt like
hearing people. Theyll steal you away and make you
hate us! She is crying now.
I glare at her, furious that shes making me choose
between my family and the Deaf-World. Its my fault. I
didnt reply to my parents e-mails at GallaudetI was
too absorbed in my life there. But she blames the Deaf-
World, not me. Its little consolation that she sees it as a
culture, not a group of disabled people.
Even as I transfer to KU, the battles continue. I
still have friends at Gallaudet, whom I sometimes
visit, and often talk to on AIM. Mom doesnt like this,
and makes her feelings clear, afraid of losing me.
Im not alone in feeling divided between family
and deaf peers. Many deaf people with hearing par-
ents go through this.
My family wants me to be more hearing, Smiley
says. And my friends want me to be more deaf. She
often feels stuck between the two, she says.
Deaf people dont just struggle with divided loyal-
ties, but also with low expectations that make it dif-
fcult to succeed in school.
The hearing world often doesnt expect much of
deaf children. At the time I was born, doctors often
gave little hope to parents of deaf children. Doctors
told my parents I wouldnt be able to read past a third-
grade level.
When Ryan Schwarzenberger, Overland Park junior,
was diagnosed, his doctor told his parents he wouldnt
read past a sixth-grade level. And they shouldnt plan
on him going to college, the doctor said.
Because of this, I grew up with tremendous pres-
sure to prove experts wrong. My parents pressured
me to get all As, take honors classes, do well on
the SATs, go to college, reminding me that I had
to prove to hearing people that I wasnt stupid be-
cause I was deaf.
Its a common experience for deaf people: to meet
teachers who think deaf students cant do the work. Ive
met myshare, teachers whowerent sureI couldmanage
AdvancedPlacement courses or takeaforeignlanguage,
until I proved them wrong. Other deaf students have
been through this, too. Schwarzenberger had a middle
school teacher who wasnt sure of his abilities.
She said, Ill try my best to be sure you can do
this, Schwarzenberger remembers.
Smiley also faced skepticism when she wanted to
take honors classes in high school. Teachers didnt
want to let her take advanced classes or Spanish.
What does hearing have to do with what you
know? she says with exasperation.
Ive been at KU for a year. I miss Gallaudet, but KU has
strongEnglishandjournalismprograms, unlike Gallaudet.
So, I choose education and family over the
Deaf-World. My mother and I stop arguing so much and
rebuild our relationship.
But a gap develops between me and the others in
the Deaf-World. Im called a traitor, a weakling, a sell-
out for leaving Gallaudet. Im accused of bad-mouth-
ing the school when I say I get a better education at
KU. When I tell people Im lonely here and I miss being
around Deaf people, they tell me its my fault because I
gave up on Gallaudet and deserted the Deaf-World.
Im torn. It isnt fair that my choices are so limited.
Hearing people have hundreds of colleges to choose
from, but I dont. I have to choose between the Deaf-
World and the college that best fits me or at least
the parts of me that arent Deaf. But Ive made my
choice, and I stick with it.
I have good days and bad days. On the bad days, I
watch people talk and wonder what they say. I love peo-
ple and love talking with them, but I dont knowhowto
talk to hearing people. Often, I want to cry with frustra-
tion because I dont knowhowto strip away the barriers
created by my deafness, and ones Ive built up myself.
On good days, Im optimistic that itll all turn out
fne, somehow. I have lots of support from family and
friends who understand my struggle and remind me
that deafness is not a disability, but a culture some-
thing I often forget because I live in a world that sees
me as disabled.
Im hopeful that, someday, I will fnd my balance
between the two worlds.
I graduate next week. Where I go from there, I
dont know. I want to return to the Deaf-World and
find my niche, but I dont want to leave the hear-
ing world. My family and career are in the hearing
world. I have hope, because others have straddled
the gap and got the best out of each. Finding that
balance probably will be a life-long process, but I
have faith that it will happen.

Tara Schupner, Lenexa senior, talks with other
deaf students at the Underground. Schupner, who
is deaf, says she often feels torn between two
worlds the Deaf-World and the hearing world.
(L-R) Ryan Schwarzenberger, Jackie Smiley, Tara
Schupner and Amir Schifano-Idrisi chat in sign
language at the Underground. All four have hear-
ing loss, but Schupner is the only undergraduate
at KUwho is culturally Deaf, she says.
JARED GAB
JARED GAB
Sometimes students
start talking to me, not
knowing Im deaf, and
when they fnd out,
they just stop.
Jackie Smiley,
Sandusky, Ohio,
junior
Brian Bratichak
BITCH
+
moan
Jessica: First off, make sure
youre not being a tease. It
happens all the time:You hang
outwith several girls thinking
its totally justifable to cuddle
and watch a movie, but in
reality, youre leading them on.
On the other hand, I think its
a shame that some genuinely
nice people are mistaken
for teases, when theyre just
being kind. (Dont misread
me, cuddling is a step beyond
general kindness.) After youre
sure youre not leading anyone
on, say,I heard that you said
we were dating. Is that true?If
the answer is yes, explain your
intentions fat-out, but be nice.
Brian: Ah yes, the diffcult
situation of the assumed
relationship.Heres a mean but
effective way of getting rid of it.
While a group of you is hanging
out, invite a girl you have a crush
on and be all over her.If you want
to be nicer, just talk to the girl.Say
youre not ready for a relationship
and want to be friends.
what do you do when you hang out with someone, but she
thinks you are dating? keVin, soPhomore
Brian: There is no one way to fnd a girlfriend.Just
go about your life, but be on the lookout.Go to a
concert and look for girls who are alone or only
with other girls.Frequent your favorite coffee shop
or bookstore.The more comfortable you are when
looking for a girlfriend, the more likely your success.
Jessica: Its nice to see youve grown up.Everyone
should reach this stage at some point when
booty calls no longer provide the excitement they
once did.As far as fnding people who want to date
with the potential for long-term commitment, that
shouldnt be too diffcult, considering where you are
in your schooling.Many graduating people realize
that its time to be an adult, and with that comes
long-term relationships.I advise you to talk to
friends about what youre looking for, and see if they
know anyone whos looking for the same thing.You
may also want to try poking random hot people on
Facebook.
does sex complicate a
Relationship?
john, fReshman
Jessica: John, honestly, why do you think we write
this column? There are innumerable problems
resulting from sex in relationships.Adding
something as emotionally charged as sex is going
to complicate things.Even in a committed, long-
term relationship, sex adds something that calls for
adaptability.In the case of friends, theres always that
question did that happen because we like each
other or because Ive always thought he was a fox?
Yes, sex complicates any relationship, any time.
Brian: Inevitably, yes.Just look at Jerry and Elaine.
They sat down together, hammered out a seemingly
foolproof no-strings-attached plan, and still couldnt
prevent the emotional connection that comes with
coitus.The only way to prevent the complications
of sex is to either a) never have it, or b) do it until
someone becomes attached, then never talk again.
No matter what, when you have sex, you give up
part of you and you invariably feel that the partner
owes you some respect for the act.Once anything
goes wrong, a stronger emotional spark will be
ignited, and you can say bye-bye to calm quarrels.
ITs Been a long TIme sInCe Ive daTed
someone. wHaT Can I do To geT BaCk
ouT THere onCe I graduaTe? Im TIred
of BooTy Calls.
javIer, senIor
Jessica Crowder
Please send your
questions to
bitch@kansan.com
10

jayPlay 05.11.2006
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P
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B
S
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F
O

4
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V
O
E
T
Te love connection
Jayplay plays
matchmaker
05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 11
In the never-ending quest to
find a romantic partner, otherwise
amicable singles find themselves
easily lured into awkward situations
with a perfect stranger. Thus, our
experimentwasborn.
In the interest of public discourse
(and a little for our amusement),
Jayplay wanted to see if two people
could overcome typical first-date
obstaclesandformaloveconnection
undertheoddestofcircumstances.
Our participants were Sage
Warren, Topeka junior, and Brandon
Lundgren,Virginia Beach,Va., senior.
Thedate:abustouraroundLawrence,
care of the Lawrence transit system,
theT.
6:35 p.m., bus stop, Ninth and
Massachusetts Streets
Warren and Lundgren are sitting
close on a rain-soaked park bench.
Theybrieflydiscusscourseschedules,
favorite classes and hometowns, at
which point there is an awkward
silence.
A husky man with thinning hair
andholdingawhiteplasticshopping
bag approaches and takes a seat on
an adjacent bench. He stares at the
coupleconfusedlyforafewminutes,
thengetsupandwalksaway.
6:41 p.m. Bus arrives
The bus pulls to a screeching halt
nearly a half-block past its stop.
Warren and Lundgren look at one
anotherfearfully.
Walkingtowardthebus,Lundgren
comments that this is the cheapest
date hes ever been on, garnering a
giggle fromWarren. They board the
bus and find that theyre the only
passengers.Theylookatoneanother
andlaughagainbeforetakingaseat
onabluebenchnearthemiddle.
6:50 p.m., Sixth and Maine Streets
Twenty minutes of first-date
questioning has revealed that
Warrens21stbirthdayisinafewdays,
quickly shifting the conversation
toward birthday activities and
weekend plans. Lundgren recalls
a mishap that occurred at a recent
party he attended (apparently keg
taps are trickier to operate while
inebriated).
Flirtationhasbegun.Warrenplays
with her curly brown hair. She pulls
herrightlegupandintotheseatjust
millimeters away from Lundgrens
leg;hedoesntappeartomind.

When asked if many couples hold

dates on his bus, driver Jay Herman
says,Ive never seen this before. If I
askedagirlout,ImnotsureIdwant
tospendtoomuchtimeonabus.

7:05 p.m. Lawrence Indoor
Aquatic Center
Thehalfwaypoint.Thedriverpulls
intoalargecul-de-sacinfrontofthe
Lawrence Indoor Aquatic Center,
puts the bus in idle and opens the
doors. Without a word, he steps off
the bus, walks toward the centers
entranceanddisappearsinside.
Lundgren jokes about attempting
to steal the bus while the driver
is away. Warren laughs at his joke.
She has turned her body almost
completelyaroundtofaceLundgren
and their bodies are drawing
increasingly closer together. In
an unspoken gesture of mutual
admiration, the legs of Warren and
Lundgrenarenowtouching.
After five minutes, the bus driver
reappears and the bus continues on
itsscheduledcourse.
7:15 p.m., Sixth and Kasold
Streets
Warren asks Lundgren several
questions about his involvement in
R.O.T.C., to which he responds. Talk
ofaseconddatebeginasthecouple
discusses their plans for the rest of
theevening.
A young woman in a black AC/DC
sweatshirt and ripped jeans boards
the bus and sits across from the
couple. When asked if she would
ever consider going on a bus date,
Lawrence resident Ashley Flint says,
Id say sure if a guy asked me. It
might be kind of funny because
there are a lot of weird people that
ridethebus.
7:20 p.m., bus stop, Ninth and
Massachusetts Streets
The couple stands up and
Lundgren waves Warren ahead to
exitthebusfirst.Theystandtogether
at the bus stop for a few minutes,
before deciding to go elsewhere for
drinks.
Warren and Lundgren walk for
several blocks together until they
disappearintoanearbycoffeeshop.

by Stefanie Graves
CONTACT
So, what did our daters think about riding the bus on a frst
date:
Sage Warren:Ithoughtthebusideawasgreatbecauseyoudonthave
anythingelsegoingonexceptyouandhim. Theresnothingtodistractyouand
itscheap; youcantbeatthat.
Brandon Lundgren:Honestly, Iwouldneverdothisagain. Ittakesawayfrom
thecontrolfactor. Maybeitsaguything, butIliketohavecontrolofgoingfrom
pointAtopointB, nothavingtowaitaroundforthebus.
And what about the person they were set up with:
Sage Warren: Hewasareallyniceguy, defnitelygood-looking. Hesnot
necessarilythetypeofguyIgofor, butIwouldgooutonadatewithhimagain
ifheaskedme.
Brandon Lundgren:Ithinktherespotentialforustogooutonadateagain. I
thoughtshewasveryinterestingandaverynicegirl, butmaybedinnerwould
havebeenbetter.
THE VERDICT
JOSHUABICKEL
12

JAYPLAY 05.11.2006
After a raging night at The Hawk, Kathryn Istas, Omaha
sophomore, was feeling frisky. She agreed to a friendly
make-out session with a boy from the near-by Sigma Chi
fraternity. After a few minutes of hard-core kissing in her
make-out buddys bedroom, Istas decided that maybe she
hadnt made the best decision. In a hurry, she grabbed
her jeans and left. Soon after she got home, Istas realized
she was missing an essential part of her ensemble: her
underwear. It didnt take long to realize where she had left
her precious panties on the foor of Sigma Chi. You
guys can keep that one.

Rachel Zupek
(MORTIFYING MOMENT)
GREG GRIESENAUER
2
There are many ways To go abouT iT, depending
on whaT kind of aTTenTion youre looking for.
my advice: JusT be yourself. be confidenT. and if
ThaT fails, Throw on a push-up bra and smoky
eyes, and give him ThaT look of loooove ThaT he
wonT be able To resisT.
casey peTiTT, Topeka sophomore
girls have heard iT all; make yourself sTand
ouT from a crowd. be yourself and find your
own way To geT aTTenTion, every guy should
have one. wear booTs.
James clayTon collins, wichiTa Junior

Whats the best way to get a guy/girls attention?

928 Massachusetts
Downtown Lawrence
843-0611 www.theetcshop.com
Sophisticated
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kansan.com
Now.
Art for the senses
A group of 50 art-lovers gather on
the second foor of Signs of Life, 722
Massachusetts St. Most of the group
consists of elderly, retired couples who
casually observe the exhibits paintings of
Native Americans, Kansas farms, hills and
sunsets lined up along the walls. Among
the crowd is Kansan poet Thomas Fox
Averill.
As the hour approaches, everyone
focks to the center of the room and sits
in anticipation. Averill, red-faced, quickly
maneuvers through the crowd to his
podium. He stands tall as he gathers notes
and welcomes his audience.
Id like to read you a collage of literary
images that might remind you of the art
that surrounds you, Averill says.
Averill, a 57-year-old professor of
English at Washburn University, reads an
excerpt from William Staffords poem Lake
Waynoka.
The city of Lawrence hosts a wide
variety of art and cultural events ranging
from historical themes to modern
creations. James Schaefer, gallery director
at Signs of Life, says the biggest challenge
for him is getting the word out. We hope
to host a lot more cultural events that will
attract younger audiences in the future,
Schaefer says.
These young audiences include KU
students who collaborate to promote
the Lawrence art scene. More than 200
students attended Transformers: Artists
in Disguise, an event at the Spencer
Museum of Art
last Thursday.The
event combined
featured student
artworks, a DJ
p e r f o r ma n c e
by KJHK, a
martial arts
demonstrati on
and free ice
cream.
Tonia Blair,
Lawrence junior,
attended the
event.Art comes
in all shapes and
forms, and this
event proves
it, she says.
Blair says she
appreciates the
efforts of the
Student Advisory Board in promoting
the event. You dont have to be an art
major to appreciate it, she says.
Lawrence hosts numerous art-
related events each week. However,
if you look around campus, youll see
artwork displayed outside in front of
the campus halls of Jayhawk Boulevard.
The greatest challenge in promoting
such art is
getting more
s t u d e n t s
involved.
Kim Brook,
P r e s i d e n t
of Spencer
M u s e u m
S t u d e n t
A d v i s o r y
B o a r d ,
says she
p r o mo t e s
connections
w i t h
s t u d e n t s
and museum
e v e n t s .
A l t h o u g h
r e l a t i v e l y
new, the
b o a r d
intends on bringing guest speakers such
as artists, writers and experts. Many
students associate our art museum as
being formal, Brook says. We hope to
change that image through hosting
open student-run events.
Kristina Mitchell, director of education
at the Spencer Museum of Art, says she
enjoys working with KU students as
well as the wide variety of programs
and audiences. The museum caters to
elementary school kids, college students
and senior citizens alike, Mitchell says.
In fact, this summer the museum will
host several events designed to bring in
more Lawrence residents. Joseph Keehn,
Topeka graduate student and education
intern is in charge of organizing a flm
event at the museum this summer entitled
Refecting on Collecting. The flm festival
will include such flms as Bamboozled,
About Schmidt, and The Collector. The
purpose of this event is to incorporate
these flms with the exhibits we have at
the Spencer Museum, Keehn says.
Lawrence has all kinds of culture
waiting for you. So, instead of spending
your nights watching reality TV, check
out an art exhibit or indulge yourself at
a poetry reading either on or off campus.
Your fellow students and neighbors
work hard to bring you intellectual
entertainment.
05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 13
Out
EclEctic imAgEs
by David Heller
KIT LEFFLER
Art gAllEriEs And musEums
Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art 4420
Warwick Blvd. Kansas City, Mo., kemperart.org
(816) 753-5784
Lawrence Arts Center, 940 New Hampshire
St., lawrenceartscenter.com, (785) 843-2787
Nelson-Atkins Museum,4525 Oak St.,Kansas
City, Mo., nelson-atkins.org (816) 561-4000
Signs of Life, 722 Massachusetts St.,
signsofifegallery.com (785) 830-8030
Spencer Museum of Art, 1301 Mississippi
St., www.spencerart.ku.edu (785) 864-4710
Visitors to the Kemper Museum of Contemporary
Art in Kansas City, Mo., view recently displayed 3D
and 2D works by an international artist.
ared Hess, director of Napoleon
Dynamite, says he began his lm
career when he was 10, making
karate movies with his friends
video camera on a trampoline.
Hess discussed his motivations
for his new lm, Nacho Libre, in an hour-long
conference call.
Q: Do you feel there are different
expectations of you when you make a new
lm?
A: I think there are always expectations, but I
want to make the types of lms I want to make.
To do what I do is denitely a different world,
but ultimately, I just really want people to enjoy
my lms and have a lot of good laughs.
Q: How does being part of the studio system
change your work?
A: Well, I went from working with twenty college
friends on Napoleon Dynamite to a much bigger
crew that involves more money, but the scale
of it was the biggest thing I had to adapt to for
Nacho Libre.
Q: What was it like to work with Jack Black?
A: It was a real dream. He has no ego at all. We
had such a fun time coming up with new ideas.
Hes a true gentlemen and one of the funniest
people I know.
Q: What was the hardest part in making
Nacho Libre?
A: The most difcult part was that my wife was
pregnant at the time. But, it was worth it. It was
a wonderful experience and I was sad when it
was over. The whole crew broke down and cried
when the lm was nished.
Q: Napoleon
Dynamite had
a lot of famous
lines. Do you
work hard to
write catchy
dialogue?
A: Not really,
I just try and
write what
makes sense for
the character. To
me it was just
very normal for
the characters to say certain things.
Q: What was it like working with Beck?
A: Excellent. Beck provides the music for the lm.
Hes one of the most talented musicians Ive met.
Q: How important is it to appeal to college
students?
A: I think its very important to appeal to
everyone. I dont set out to appeal to a specic
demographic.
Q: Who are your favorite directors?
A: Wow, there are so many, but I have to say Im a
big fan of the Coen Brothers (directors of Fargo
and The Big Lebowski).
Q: What is your biggest challenge as a
director?
A: The editing process. Ive always been a little
impatient with it.
Q: What is your advice to young lmmakers?
A: Just get out there and do it!

David Heller
J
14

JAYPLAY 05.11.2006
OUT
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933 Iowa 11am 2am everyday 856-7170
A LESSON IN LEAPING
by Jason Shaad
How I learned the
value of risk.
Its a little after midnight. Im 18 and
watching my 11-year-old brother lean
over the edge of the 30-foot Lewis
Street bridge in downtown Wichita.
Hes wearing only boxer shorts.
Just do it. Jump already, I say.
He grips the metal rail tightly and
gives me a fearful smile. Then he lets
go and falls toward the Arkansas River
below. My friends and I rush to the
railing and peer into the shadows. After
a second we hear the splash.
Then we wait.
The water below is dark and muddy.
Even in the daylight it would be too
murky for us to see anything below
the surface. At night, its nothing more
than a cape of black that occasionally
refects the moonlight or nearby
street lamps. My two best friends
and two of my other brothers listen
with anticipation. I begin to worry,
wondering what the hell Im supposed
to do if my brother doesnt come up.
Suddenly, I hear splashing and see
my brothers muted-blue silhouette
break the surface and swim toward the
shore like an over-sized river rat. We all
let out a congratulatory yell, and within
seconds we hop the guard rail and
catapult ourselves into the darkness
below.
My heart leaps as I fall from solid
ground and whisk through the air. I
fail my arms for balance as the water
rises to meet me. Almost instantly
Im immersed in cool muddy water.
Everything goes completely dark and
silent. For a moment Im suspended in
nothingness. Then my mind clicks and I
kick toward the surface.
Air rushes into my lungs and sound
foods my ears. To my right and left,
other heads break the surface and gasp
for air. Then everyone is laughing and
yelling and splashing toward the east
bank, where my youngest brother is
shivering triumphantly.
In retrospect, I feel a little guilty
for letting my prepubescent brother
hurl himself off a 30-foot bridge into
a muddy river. But I dont think I could
have stopped him. Bridge jumping,
after all, is an unoffcial rite of passage
in my family.
Some fathers recognize their sons
ascension to adolescence with man-to-
man talks or the keys to a car. My father
took his sons leaping off bridges.
I was 13 when I got the invitation.
One Sunday afternoon, Dad asked if
I wanted to drive downtown and go
bridge jumping. As odd as it sounded,
I nodded in eager acceptance. I had
always admired my dads stories about
summers spent leaping off the family
house boat at the Lake of the Ozarks.
Bridge jumping was a chance to create
my own story.
We drove through the summer
heat past Riverside Park to Murdock
Street, where a narrow concrete bridge
crosses about 25 feet above the Little
Arkansas River. Fear and excitement
burned in my stomach as we parked
the car and walked silently in T-shirts
and swim trunks towards the bridge.
I stopped at what looked like a good
place to jump. But as I waited, my dad
walked past me and down a concrete
stairwell at the end of the bridge.
Come on, was all he said, weve
got to test the water frst.
At the riverbank, he told me the
most important preparation for bridge
jumping was measuring the waters
depth. You always had to swim in to
make sure you werent going to land
in three feet of water and break your
legs. Bridge jumping was a risk, he said.
To make that risk worthwhile, you had
to know what you were jumping into.
Look before you leap.
We stripped down to our swimsuits
and waded into the warm, cloudy
water. The river bottom near the shore
was a combination of mud, rocks and
sticks. When my leg brushed past a
tree limb I freaked out and screamed
like a girl. How was I going to jump off
a bridge if I was too scared to wade in
the water?
I swam toward the middle of the
river. In the shadows of the bridge my
dad exhaled and sunk himself straight
down, trying to touch bottom and fnd
the deepest spot. After a few minutes
we found a channel about 10-feet deep
deep enough, he said. I nodded
nervously, looking up at the bridge to
mark the spot.
Back on the bank we climbed the
concrete stairs and walked to the
middle of the bridge. We waited for
a few cars to pass and then quickly
jumped. I was so scared that all I
remember was thinking Oh shit, and
then I was frantically swimming to
shore so I could run up and jump again.
I was hooked.
Since that day, every bridge has
become a potential launch pad. Every
family road trip has focused on fnding
deep water and high vantage points.
Almost any structure that spans
water gets evaluated. Everyone my
four brothers, my dad, my stepmom,
and even our dog has adopted
bridge jumping as a family outing.
Ive leapt off sea cliffs in Washington,
canyon walls in Colorado, waterfalls in
southeast Kansas, Utah and Oregon,
and fve bridges in downtown Wichita.
Never have I jumped without testing
the water frst. For as many places as
Ive jumped, there are twice as many
that Ive begrudgingly left behind
because the water was too shallow.
Its this idea of calculated risk that
I think my father wanted to convey
when he invited me to leap off the
Murdock Street bridge eight years
ago. I havent faced the greatest
risks in my life yet. But when I do, my
fathers advice will help me make the
leap.
SPEAK
05.11.2006 JAYPLAY 15
GREG GRIESENAUER
2
9
6
5
8
4
PRESIDENT BUSH
CLAIMS HE WANTS TO
CLOSE THE U.S. PRISON
AT GUANTANAMO BAY
BUT IS WAITING TO SEE
WHERE THE ENEMY
COMBATANTS COULD
BE TRANSFERRED.
Abe & Jakes
Landing seems
like a reasonable
location: spacious,
lots of security and
music thats absolute
torture.
HAWK TOPICS
RAINE AND RUIGH REVIEW
NEWS YOU CAN USE
1
CIA DIRECTOR PORTER GOSS
RESIGNS AMID RUMORS OF
LOBBYIST-RUN GAMBLING
AND PROSTITUTION
PARTIES.
3
THE KU ATHLETICS
DEPARTMENT HIRES A FULL-
TIME PSYCHOLOGIST.
Booze, whores and gambling?
Sounds like a night at The Hawk
but probably way more fun.
THE LAWRENCE CITY
COMMISSION CONSIDERS A
PROPOSAL THAT WOULD BAN
CELL PHONE USE WHILE DRIVING.
Which is more
effective, riots
or rosaries? The
debate ends
here, and smart
moneys on
riots.
KU GRADUATE STUDENT RICHARD
FRIESNER ONLY COMPLETES 1/3 OF HIS
PROPOSED THREE-DAY MARATHON ON
JAYHAWK BOULEVARD TO RAISE MONEY
FOR JUBILEE CAFE.
The homeless be damned,
we didnt give you a dollar for
one measly day of running.
Get back out there, or you
owe us $.667.
THE PHOENIX SUNS COME BACK FROM 3-1
PLAYOFF SERIES DEFICIT TO STUN KOBE BRYANT
AND THE LAKERS.
I feel violated, Bryant said
after the loss.I feel like
some high-prole thug bent
me over in a hotel room and
raped me of my dignity.
AFTER A 10-
SEASON RUN,
THE SEMINAL
WB SMASH 7TH
HEAVEN AIRS ITS
FINAL EPISODE.
Appropriately, the series
ends with the Rapture; the
entire Camden crew ascends
gloriously toward heaven,
except youngest daughter
Ruthie, who in a Dallas-like
twist reveals herself as the
Anti-Christ and enslaves
the sorry, sinful remains of
mankind.
HAWK TOPICS CO-AUTHOR CHRIS RAINE
RECEIVES FIELD-SOBRIETY TEST, SPEEDING
TICKET EARLY SUNDAY MORNING.
CATHOLIC CARDINALS
URGE BOYCOTT, LEGAL
ACTION AGAINST THE
MOVIE THE DA VINCI
CODE.
Further Commission efforts
to reduce driver distractions
should include the
prohibition of middle-aged
women bending over in their
ower beds.
FRANCO-ISLAMIST ZACARIAS
MOUSSAOUI AVOIDS THE DEATH
PENALTY, RECEIVES LIFE SENTENCE
FOR HIS ROLE IN THE 9/11 ATTACKS.
As a further punishment, the US government plans to
subject Moussaoui to the worst of what Western culture has
to offer, namely, a week-long regimen of Bull-Hawk-Wheel!
NOTICE
So now psychologist is what were calling
the undergrad who takes tests for the
football team?
7
10
Chris Raine and Dave Ruigh
Raine (Hands over ID): Hello, ofcer. Im
sure we can avoid any unpleasantries
Im Chris Raine you know, Hawk
Topics? ... Every Thursday in the Jayplay?
No?
Nothing? Really? You
dont read Hawk Topics ...
Really?
Ofcer: (Reaches for mace)
16

JAYPLAY 05.11.2006
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aI promoIiohs@kahsah.com or 864-4358.
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