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AWESOMECON Written by Caleb Gillen

INT. CONVENTION CENTER - DAY PEOPLE in cosplay line the hall. In line is JOSHUA, geeky, 20, adjusting his glasses, staring vacantly into the back of the guy in front of him. JOSHUA (V.O.) What the hell am I even doing here? People in cosplay pass by, wearing passes and holding bags advertising Awesomecon. Joshua waits impatiently. The line finally moves, and Joshua takes a step forward. JOSHUA (V.O.) (CONTD) I shouldve figured out a way to fill this weekend. I shouldve just lied and told him that I had a previous engagement. But no, I just had to let him drag me to this... cavalcade of magical weeaboo bullshit. NORMAN, geeky, 21, jumps in line in front of Joshua, a plastic bag at his side, a Pocky stick in his mouth. NORMAN I SHALL FILL ALL OF YOUR ORIFICES! Joshua jumps back, startled. Norman laughs. JOSHUA Jesus fucking Christ, Norman. NORMAN So, how was it? Im practicing for the hentai voice acting panel tonight. Guess what show? No. JOSHUA

NORMAN Come on, guess. JOSHUA Listen, I dont want to know about your Devil Tits 9, or your Uranus Moon and the 6 Ballz, or your Katawa Shoujo orNORMAN Why the hell do you know so many hentai names?

2. JOSHUA I blame you. NORMAN Katawa Shoujo wasnt a hentai by the way. JOSHUA Weve had this conversation before. NORMAN It totally isnt! Its about the love of a handicapped woman. Its a beautiful story. JOSHUA Theres sex in it, isnt it? Yeah. NORMAN

JOSHUA Then its porn and therefore hentai. NORMAN What kind of ass-backwards logic is that shit? JOSHUA Can we just... drop this? Fine. NORMAN

Norman and Joshua take a step forward. Norman takes a sandwich from his bag. Hungry? Yes. NORMAN (CONTD) JOSHUA

Joshua wolfs down his sandwich. Norman watches. JOSHUA (CONTD) What? Ive been in this line for four hours. Why did you drag me here anyway? To starve me? NORMAN You know, you didnt used to be like this.

3. JOSHUA Is THAT why you brought me here? NORMAN Maybe. I wanted to relive the glory days, you know? When you werent such a demonic, soul-sucking anus. JOSHUA Is that in your hentai, too? Norman ignores this comment. NORMAN The point is... what happened to you, guy? Joshua sighs, as they both take a step forward. JOSHUA I grew out of it. NORMAN We both know thats bullshit. Joshua pauses, finishing his sandwich. JOSHUA No, its not bullshit. I got an actual job and people began thinking I was a pedophile because I watched Japanimation. NORMAN Why would you just conform to the standards that society pushes onto to you? I thought you were a rebel, man. I thought you were a Char. JOSHUA Its not just that, okay? NORMAN What is it then? JOSHUA Do you think therell ever be another Cowboy Bebop? Norman hangs his head. JOSHUA (CONTD) Or another Trigun? Another Outlaw Star? Another Mobile Suit Gundam?

4. NORMAN Dude, theres always another Gundam. JOSHUA Thats not the point. The anime industry is stagnant, and theyre not in the interests of constructing a good story, but selling toys and boners. Norman sighs. NORMAN But theres also some genuinely fantastic stuff out there, stuff that might even exceed what we watched back then. JOSHUA Whatever. Just because you bring me to an anime con doesnt mean its going to be like the old days. They move six inches forward in line. NORMAN You know, I may be kind of pushy sometimes... JOSHUA Understatement of the century. NORMAN And I may be a little immature... JOSHUA Never mind, I guess Ive been proven wrong. Norman locks eyes with Josh, glaring at him. NORMAN At least Im not afraid to be who I am. So your work mates look down on you because you watch anime? I wouldnt give a shit. Norman looks away as Joshua looks down on the ground in shame. The line moves forward, but they just stand there. JOSHUA Listen... I didnt mean...

5. NORMAN If you want to leave, you can. Youve already brought me down. Joshua looks guilty, as they stand there in line, awkwardly looking away from each other, despite the line moving. JOSHUA No. Youre right... Maybe, to make it up to youCON-GOER 1 Hey, are you two ass-suckers going to move or what? NORMAN Whatd you just call us? CON-GOER 1 An ass-sucker, because thats what you are. You suck ass. NORMAN An ass-sucker? AN ASS-SUCKER? ILL SHOW YOU WHO SUCKS ASS YOU... GUY! The con-goer looks at Norman, dumb-struck at how weak the insult was. CON-GOER 1 Is that seriously all youveNorman punches the con-goer in the face, triggering a fist fight in the line. Joshua watches, stunned. JOSHUA Hey, guys. StopThe two ignore him, continuing to fight. JOSHUA (CONTD) Please, stopThe two ignore him even more. Joshua has had enough. JOSHUA (CONTD) IN THE NAME OF AWESOMECON, CEASE! Finally, the fight stops as the two of them look at Joshua, surprised. Joshua approaches the con-goer.

6. JOSHUA (CONTD) Listen, guy, do you want to be revoked of your badge before you even get it? CON-GOER 1 Dont tell me... JOSHUA Yeah, Im staff. And if you dont want to get your ass kicked out of the convention center, youll go to the back of the line. ButCON-GOER 1

JOSHUA GO TO THE BACK OF THE LINE! CON-GOER 1 Youve gotta be fucking kidding me... The con-goer runs away with his tail between his legs. Norman looks at Joshua. They smile. NORMAN Dude, way to go with that story. You saved my ass. JOSHUA Yeah, well what are friends for? Uh... do you wanna...? NORMAN You serious? Fuck yeah. JOSHUA

NORMAN Lets do it. They raise their hands up, clenching their fists. JOSHUA This hand of mine burns with an awesome power! NORMAN It tells me to defeat you!

7. JOSHUA

Take this!

NORMAN My love! My anger! JOSHUA And all of my sorrow! The two smash their fists together. SHINING... FINGER! NORMAN JOSHUA

They keep their fists together, then wince in pain. NORMAN JESUS, does that hurt more than I remember. JOSHUA Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. OW. A con-goer yells from behind them. CON-GOER 2 When you two finish anally probing each others assholes, could you move forward? Fuck you! NORMAN

Norman and Joshua move forward, very close to registering. NORMAN (CONTD) All right, almost there. You ready for the most awesome weekend of your life? Joshua grins. JOSHUA You bet your anally-probed ass I am. INT. REGISTRATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS Norman and Joshua pick up their badges for the con.

8. INT. CONVENTION CENTER - CONTINUOUS They walk past the line, Joshua reading a Con map. *

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