The title The Battle Of The Sexes is dramatic, is it not?

Well, if one is aware of media reports, one will agree that there seems to be a war within Islam between males and females, with the latter having the lower hand and in urgent need of liberation from men. I say Muslim women need liberation all right, but from self and other women. In this series, I shall explore male-female relationships. Generally, Muslim women perceive maleness as authoritarian and dictatorial whose orders are inviolable, who cannot be opposed and whose person is distant, cold and repulsive.

These women hold that no social interaction must exist between opposite sexes. Their opinion is based on the prohibition of sexual relations outside the legal framework of marriage and the

discouragement of two individuals of opposite gender to be alone in an enclosure. In addition, they assert that such interactions contradict a womans respectable nature. I shall let you readers ponder over these words and prepare your thoughts for the next part of this discussion.

Previously, we discussed maleness from the eyes of the average Muslim woman and the hostility she exhibits towards interactions between individuals of opposite genders. The extent to which intrusive individuals are determined to impose their personal beliefs on others is manifested when such women hold positions of authority. A few months ago, a statement was issued to censor interactions between opposite genders. The letter went further to instruct the community not to share their email addresses with the opposite gender. While others chorused the usual Aameen to the Dua (Supplication) that marked the end of the pronouncement, I enquired the reasons behind the statement.

The response was that students had complained of such interactions. I was not the only one incensed. A woman protested that those who do not want to observe such interactions should simply abstain from mixed-gender groups. I added my opposition and made clear that those who are more comfortable in their glass cases should remain there and should not obstruct the interactions of the rest of us. The response of the moderators was to unplug the entire conversation. AlhamduliLlah (Praise is to Allah), Allah provided two more opportunities for me to give them a piece of my mind. No one should treat us as minors and silence us. Women cannot afford to remain silent while others gradually erode our life into a tasteless existence. In refutation of the personal beliefs of these women and their male supporters, there is no prohibition against male-female interactions. There is however severe warnings against those

who engage in gossip and back-biting, two trademarks in addition to intimidation and gang- running of those who demand the rest of us comply with their intrusions into our affairs. The Prophet and his Sahaba (Companions) interacted with women who were neither their wives nor their relations (mahram). Throughout Islamic civilization, such interactions existed within the provisions of the Shareeah, until women chose that their voices and their very existence were not to be witnessed by a man and that any woman who fails to comply be murdered for violation of a mans honour! Dishonour murders, as it aptly should be called for any man who ties his honour to a womans bra let alone takes pride in the murder of a woman has no semblance of honour, is the enforcement of this no-male zone on women and girls, the

same women who are the mothers of the men; talk of a woman giving birth to her oppressor. I shall not delve into the non-sexist nature of dishonour murder in this article. Sufficient are these words: women are neck-deep in the encouragement and enforcement of such anti-women practices and cultures. How does a woman consider interactions with good men disrespectful to her person when the same woman insists on not knowing the difference between her right hand and her left without the permission of a man? Within the Shareeah, the discouragement of male-female interactions is to prevent illicit sexual relations which are deplorable and of immense consequences to an individuals Faith. Shaytan (satan) continuously strives to mislead

humanity, but achieves his aim only with the active cooperation of humanity.

Simply put: Whoever fears for herself should not proceed with such interactions. The problem is that such women do not stop there but go further to harass other women into compliance. Speaking of shaytan, where was he and his tribe of menace when Aishah our mother and the wife of the Prophet was stranded alone with a man? Was shaytan on vacation? Was he relaxing on a beach in Hawaii getting a tan? Where was he that he missed the opportunity assuming that our actions are merely the actions of shaytan to cause the worst crisis in human history? He was busy as usual, but this time he did not disturb Aishah or her male companion. Shaytan sought comfort in the minds of those who insinuated that man plus woman necessarily equals sex. And why did that male Companion of the Prophet assist her when he observed her in the middle of the desert alone,

assuming that man plus woman was necessarily equal to sex? Why did he not leave her there and ride off to fetch her husband or her father Abu Bakr? Why do we not read that in Ahadeeth books, so that by the time Aishahs male relations returned for her they would have found her carried off into slavery by some adventurous Badu or devoured by a marauding lion? Allah Himself exonerated our mother and her companion and by that all who are falsely accused of the unthinkable while He condemned those who did not keep their mouths shut and criticised those who heard of the slander but did not immediately reject it. Allah Akbar! Indeed Allah is The Greatest!

To mark a month of thoughts, instead of the usual glorification of neglect and passivity common in Muslim circles, as if those two were virtuous acts and prayers for women who enjoy being neglected to attain Jannah, I wish to pay humble tribute to all relevant women. It is much easier when a woman has a supply of finances from her husband and does not have to worry about earnings and expenditure. There are many women who are the incomeearner in her household. One of such women is my mum, who had to juggle earning a livelihood with family life. Despite being the sole financial and emotional support for her five children, my mum made motherhood the joy it is.

Imagine the grumblings of some Muslim women who do not bother to determine their life and wish to disturb my hearing with how being a stay-at-home mum is the most unappreciated job. As they do not mind being neglected by their husband, from whom do they expect appreciation? Me? Or perhaps from you dear readers? They should try keeping down an

employment along with their family obligations. Their eyes will clear! To honour my mum irrespective of these grumblers, I sent her a message of love. Her response: ecstasy! I sent her another. Yesterday evening she called to say she was very pleased with my show of love for her. I am not happy with much of what happened in my childhood, but I have always tapped into all the positive experiences of my

childhood, one of which was that I had what many women do not have and cannot even imagine. While Muslims frequently glorify abandoned and passive women, I grew up under the care of a woman who did her very best for her children. You went to work, put food on the table, paid school fees, paid house rent upon the death threats you received. It was time for my love for you. She would take us to our maternal grandparents and return the same day to continue her work and would join us a couple of days before the festivities or when she was on leave. I still recall looking into my mums eyes as a little girl, as I sat beside her in her car as she drove my siblings and me to our

hometown for the school vacation, and seeing the fear in her eyes. She had several concerns for security on the journey. First was the safety concern of every citizen vis-a-vis highway robberies, such that if we had not departed by latest ten in the morning, the journey was postponed. Second was the concern of every woman, especially those who live alone, i.e. sexual violation. More personal to my mum was the death threat from my father and her estranged husband with whom she shares a local government, but who originates from a different community that should she ever drive her vehicle into the local government, she will be murdered. Right from my childhood, I have always been loyal to my mum, such that whenever I was asked my village, instead of simply stating my fathers which is the norm, as children are

ascribed to their fathers, my response was always: My mum comes from such and such village and my father from such village, in recognition of my mums magnificent and unique role in our life. I pay obeisance to you, my beloved mum. May Allah keep you safe in this life and in the Hereafter. And may He guide your gracious heart to Islam, for though some Muslim women prefer to be the perfect victims of everything that moves, Islam honours women. Aameen.