12/31/97 11:25 AM Meeowkum is playing with his computer said Frank after displaying his bowels for the

crowd spoken to Lissa a few feet from where Meeowkum lay apparently sleeping yet Meeowkum was awake though only Meowkum knew Meeowkum felt irritated by the choice of words used by Frank after the rectal explorations in the Fremantle Hospital with telescopes straight and curved and video cameras flexible. Polyps polyps everywhere. Meeowkum thought that the used of the word playing was trivializing him as a person as had been his experience throughout forty nine years of his life. Neither Frank nor Mary seemed to fully and completely reflect Meeokums full stature as a philosopher, writer, thinker, explorer and wise person in general Could it have something to do with the conditions of his childhood experiences with Frank and Mary. Conditions which he now knew were such that he received very little positive support and very little approval for anything he did or attemoted to do. Frank was nearly always morose and sullen. Often Frank was visibly angry but almost no physical punishment was used. Meeowkum was also curious about the origins of his noticeable characteristic of being exceptionally aware of the consciousness of other people and thus always trying to please them but usually failing. Meeowkum had noticed in his interactions with other people in his work as a chemical enhineer and his social life that nearly all the people he met were much more focused on their own state of

consciousness while he and his brother in particular but also to a lesser extent his other brother, parents and his fathers siblings were the most considerate people he had met in life. Yes thought Meeowkum, Considerate is the most appropriate word to describe this characteristic. Now, from the perspective of a mature human being, and one of exceptional intellectual achievement, Meeowkum could see this Considerate nature as one bordering on obsessiveness, neurotic and sometimes even slavish. One the one hand, being considerate is often seen to be a highly valued achievement that indicates awareness and is held to be praiseworthy because it is a sign of enlightened consciousness as opposed to the narrowly focused, egotistic, blind and selfish, greedy perspective of the tough minded macho types who shout accolades to their anthem: Nice Guys Finish Last. A considerate person is a nice guy. Yet the enlightened see as Shakespeare saw that life in this dimension is like play, like a game for the fun of it and that no rules really apply except in the sense that some consequences and predictable such as the response that can be expected from a human being when one inflicts damage and pain and suffering and agony upon that person one can expect that to be done in reverse because the Unioversal law of compensation is a fact of human awareness. I cannot help but recall the rapid evolution of awareness that has been experienced just this year and that the very essence of it has to do with the higher levels of freedom reached when the changes came and there was no longer the routine experience of the bus and the office and living in Green River and I arrived in Crestone. There I had so much freedom even though it was limited by the presence of the jailer invader who pretended to be a friend but was known from the start to be a predator in the clothing called friend. Now I realize that I had blind spot with respect to the invader and that now light has fallen on the blind spot that the invader was able to keep concealled by maintaining a shadow over it. That spot which is now illuminated reveall the invader as a rather weak human being who is incapable of providing for

himslef and who has parasiticially attached himself to me and has become dependent on me for sustenance.