Roar Monday 21st January - Sunday 3rd Feb 2013

ROAR!
roarnews.co.uk Monday 21st January - Sunday 3rd February 2013

OH, THE
HUMANITIES!
KCL TO BOOT OUT ACADEMICS INTO
TEMPORARY HOLBORN BUILDING
STAFF in the Arts & Hu-
manities departments are set
to move from their Strand
Campus homes to a new
site based at Kingsway, off
Aldwych. The relocation is
motivated by the Colleges
strategic growth plan, which
intends to recruit 150 extra
academics and 2,250 ex-
tra students by 2016 in the
Arts & Sciences Schools.
An email sent out to students
in the affected departments
describes the site at 22 King-
sway: This new accommo-
dation has a fexible struc-
ture to meet academic needs
and is only a six minute walk
from Strand reception. A 14
year lease with a nine year
break clause has been ne-
gotiated, which will be ap-
propriate for the Colleges
medium term planning.
FULL STORY
on page 4
90 DAYS SINCE STUDENT COUNCIL PASSED THE MOTION FOR THE REMOVAL OF LORD CAREY FROM THE STRAND CAMPUS WINDOWS
Feminists respond to
page three Christmas
controversy, pg 7
(
i
r
r
e
l
e
v
a
n
t
)
)
-
-
Victory over UCL in
stunning rugby
encounter, pg 22
2 21st January - 3rd February 2013
facebook.com/roarnews
@roar_news
Last term ended on a sad note for
Roar! as our editors experienced an
onslaught of anger on social media
about an article in our Christmas issue.
On behalf of this newspaper, I apolo-
gise for any upset the article caused.
As journalists, we are accountable to
you. We are living in an age where the
immediacy of accountability is thrill-
ing, almost frightening. This month,
Suzanne Moore violently responded
to accusations of transphobia due
to an off-hand remark in an article
on womens anger. Although I have
learned lessons about dealing with
complaints via Twitter, Id like to
think I dealt with them better than her.
Nevertheless, I think some would do
well to consider that there are real peo-
ple behind these avatars and handles,
people who react in very real ways.
I expect the College to be keeping a
close eye on Roar! because of com-
plaints about our Christmas issue.
This act of observing works both
ways; it is our role to watch the Col-
lege (and the union too) and keep them
accountable to you, through objec-
tive, informed news reporting. Thats
my new years resolution anyway.
In this, our frst issue oI 2013, you
will read about the Colleges plans
to move oIfces in the Arts & Hu-
manities and Social Sciences depart-
ments to a new site at Kingsway.
No undergraduate lectures or semi-
nars are planned to be held there,
dont worry. I havent yet formed
an opinion on the Kingsway move.
You will also fnd a report on the
experiences of student ambassadors
at the hands of a company called
Direct Temping, which Kings has
used since October to pay its staff.
From my own experiences with
the company, I think this is a bad
thing and the College should sur-
vey students and staff about it.
Contrary to popular opinion, were
not always outraged and vindictive
at this newspaper. Inside these pages,
you will fnd articles about things
such as my friends experiences as he
embarks on a life-changing semester
abroad, reviews oI the great flms that
are currently gracing the big screen,
tittle-tattle from the ULU ski trip, a rant
against my beloved Twitter, a report
on our glorious rugby win over UCL,
and a recipe for a chocolate mousse
cake. Mousse and cake? Curious.
Here at Kings, we are seeing big
changes and real growth in our student
media societies. Resources are begin-
ning to arise as if out of thin air, insti-
tutions seem to be taking notice of the
work were doing. I have to be vague
right now, but things are happening.
After a period of drought, were bring-
ing the rain. I invite you to join us.
I wish all our readers, wherever
you are, a happy new year and the
best of luck for the term ahead.

Ben Jackson
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR
Too lazy to check your Twitter ac-
count? Here are some of our favour-
ite tweets from the last few weeks.
@KCLFemSoc Ooh and if anyone
was wondering, were in the process
of putting together our response to
roarnews Page3 article. It`s a
collaboration :)
@OliviaSelley1 @roar_news I would
just like to assure anyone offended by
the latest comment article that it was
written with a deeply ironic
sentiment.
@MissWoolnough @oliviaselley1
@roar_news great. Irony makes
misogyny acceptable.
@JeanPierreLaake Ridiculous fuss
about that @roar_news article! If you
cant joke in a student publication
where can you joke? #WitchHunt
#SenseOfHumourFail
@stavvers @MatthewJLever
@roar_news My my, you really lack
a sense of humour if you think
parroting mundane sexism equals
satire.
@NickehBee I go away for two hours
and the entire world heres about the
Page 3 article in roarnews. My oh
my...
@KCLFemSoc Thanks to
@VagendaMagazine and
NoMorePage3 Ior spreading the
word of sexism in our Student Paper!
You can tweet directly to them
@roar_news
@katttpierce @roar_news
@KCLFemSoc the article trivialises
what is a serious and sensitive issue,
sexist jokes are increadibly
damaging
HOME TWEET HOME
ROAR!
www.roarnews.co.uk
LAURA FRATER
EDITOR
editor@roarnews.co.uk
BEN JACKSON
DEPUTY/NEWS EDITOR
news@roarnews.co.uk
NIDA ALI
LONDON NEWS EDITOR
LIAM JACKSON
SPORTS EDITOR
sports@roarnews.co.uk
OLIVIA SELLEY
COMMENT EDITOR
comment@roarnews.co.uk
ANTHONY SHAW
FEATURES EDITOR
features@roarnews.co.uk
MAX EDWARDS
SAMUEL SPENCER
ARTS EDITORS
arts@roarnews.co.uk
KATIE SINCLAIR
AOIFE DOWLING
FILM EDITORS
lm@roarnews.co.uk
WILL DAVENPORT
HANNAH EWENS
MUSIC EDITORS
music@roarnews.co.uk
EVA CHAIDEFTOS
FASHION &
LIFESTYLE EDITOR
fashion@roarnews.co.uk
MARY DAVIES
CAREERS EDITOR
marydavies_@hotmail.com
MATT LEVER
ONLINE EDITOR
CHARLOTTE RICHARDSON
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
vpsme@kclsu.org
WHATS HOT
The Book of Margery
Kempe. Thanks to a thing
called nostalgia. And Josh
Davies being a saint!
Not having essays or ex-
ams! And so the countdown
to results begins. Youre
welcome.
KCLSU Refreshers Week.
Get involved and make
friends!
Our brand new Roar! hood-
ies! Now you know who to
egg on campus!
Walkabout Wednesdays.
Maybe. Just maybe.
DES WAS A BOWIE
FAN - Indie night at
Tutus.
The London Underground -
150 years old! (see page 5)
Kings students getting free
tickets to the Shard viewing
platform. (see page 9)
WHATS NOT
The way your body clock
fails during the holidays.
FML!
Ice-breakers in seminars.
I dont care about any of
you, Im sorry.
Millwall supporters. ...
Direct Temping (see page
4)
Jack Rivlin and his unin-
formed view on KCL Think
Tank Society.
Spurious earthquake claims
(see page 9)
f
e
m
i
n
i
s
t

e
d
i
t
i
o
n
REBIRTH, REDEMPTION, ROAR!
If you have a complaint about the editorial
content in this newspaper which directly affects
you, then email the editor-in-chief with your
complaint: vpsme@kclsu.org
22 Kingsway, a ten-minute hike in the pissing rain from the Strand. Inset: the route.
MOVE TO KINGSWAY MARKS
NEW CHAPTER FOR STRANDIES
4
Ben Jackson
News Editor
news@roarnews.co.uk
NEWS
facebook.com/groups/roarnewsroom
Ben Jackson
CONTINUED
from front page
The following are the proposed
departments that will have of-
fces moved to 22 Kingsway, al-
though this list is subject to change :
Classics
Comparative Literature
Culture, Media & Creative Indus-
tries
Digital Humanities
English Language & Literature
European & International Studies
French
German
Hellenic Studies
Spanish, Portuguese & Latin Ameri-
can Studies
Theology & Religious Studies in-
cluding Middle East & Mediterra-
nean Studies
The proposal has been met with a
mixed reception from students and
staff, with some undergraduates ques-
tioning whether it is a sensible move.
Rena Minegishi, a second-year Eng-
lish Language & Literature student,
said of the plans: I think its aw-
ful that this is happening. I think
its super important that students
can easily access and communi-
cate with their professors, espe-
cially in humanities.I was really
pissed off that the already disjointed
Kings was going to be even more
fragmented, and said the students
could collectively fle a complaint.
If [the outgoing departments] dont
even know what the interior of the
building is going to look like, why
has this happened in the frst place?`
The decisions concerning the affected
departments will be made in accord-
ance with the Colleges Investing in
Strength strategy and are under the
authority of the Expansion Imple-
mentation Group, chaired by War
Studies Professor and Vice Principal,
Professor Sir Lawrence Freedman.
Professor Freedman spoke to Roar!
about the decision to move selected
departments to the new site: The
need to acquire more space on the
Strand site has been pressing for
some time as staff and students can
testify. We have been looking at a
variety of options, but appropriate
property in central London is hard
to come by. We were therefore de-
lighted when we got the opportunity
to lease 22 Kingsway, which is a sub-
stantial building, a few minutes walk
away from the established Strand
Campus and the Maughan Library,
and with fexible internal space.
The only way to ease the space prob-
lems on the Strand was to fnd a new
building for many of the academic
staff already based there. Given the
fragmented and often sub-standard
quality of much of the current ac-
commodation of Arts & Humani-
ties, and the potential quality of the
space at Kingsway, this appeared
as the natural candidate for a move.
We could bring together dispersed
departments and reinforce its many
interdisciplinary and interdepart-
mental initiatives, accommodate the
Schools outstanding growth in ex-
ternally funded research projects and
in obtaining research fellowships.
Freedman believes the site will mas-
sively beneft the postgraduate com-
munity in the School, saying: There
could be better space and facilities for
graduate students [at 22 Kingsway],
allowing them to be more closely in-
tegrated into the research community.
Frank Polatch, a department repre-
sentative, said: People were (are)
annoyed, certainly. I think in the Eng-
lish Department we are always slight-
ly marginalised; we get all our fund-
ing cut, and moved up to one of the
most soulless streets in central Lon-
don, whilst the Law Department gets
a massive new redevelopment when
they already have a load of space in
Waterloo. When I was in a meeting
with Jo [McDonagh] and some oth-
ers, a few people seemed quite excit-
ed about making a new space with the
character of an English Department,
and they had some quite ambitious
plans, and I am with them personally.
Asked whether his job as a professor
in the War Studies department infu-
enced his role as chair of the Expan-
sion Implementation Group, Freed-
man said: My academic specialism is
irrelevant to my role in this process. I
have been acting as a Vice Principal.
A member of the Kingsway Project
Board told us: The Colleges aim is
for 22 Kingsway to provide a great
academic home for staff and student
alike for our world-class School of
Arts & Humanities. To do this, we
have worked with KCLSU, students
reps and staff. We have run tours, 14
workshops and a survey to listen care-
fully to what students and staff need.
We have had a brilliant response
and this is having a real infuence
on the way the College plans to de-
sign the interior of 22 Kingsway.
Theres been an overwhelming de-
sire from both students and staff for
a space that provides a better sense
of community and identify for de-
partments, many of which are cur-
rently spread over several locations
on the Strand and lack social space
where students and staff can meet.
The Strand Campus master plan
includes the redevelopment of the
quadrangle and the space beneath
it, which involved an architectural
competition won by Hall McKnight
in October last year. Freedman said:
The Quad redevelopment will soon
be starting and that will require
moving some science activities.
ANGER AS KINGS OUTSOURCES STAFF PAYMENTS
The recent contracting out the payroll
of temporary workers for Kings has
caused severe delays in payments.
Since the end of October 2012,
Kings stopped directly paying tem-
porary workers and instead ceded
the responsibility to Direct Temp-
ing an organisation that claims
to have made the process easy.
However, the confusion of the
transition, an extra layer of bu-
reaucracy and technical prob-
lems have meant that payments
have taken up to three months.
In a time when students may feel par-
ticularly hard pressed with increasing
tuition fees and rising rent, the abil-
ity to earn some extra money while
at university may appear like an ap-
petising prospect. However if the the
reality of the situation was known be-
forehand, there may be fewer takers;
students may spend as long
chasing their earnings as the
time it took in making them.
Direct Temping now oversees the
payment and application process for
all temporary student jobs within
Kings on campus. Previously, this
was done by the department within
Kings which the student had worked
for. Additional steps before a payment
is made now include having to regis-
ter an online profle with Direct Tem-
ping and being required to present
your passport and visa in person to a
representative who is only available
on campus at select times of the week.
This is followed by having to confer
with both the department and Direct
Temping to confrm the previous
steps (and in my personal experience,
a lengthy delay due to technical prob-
lems on Direct Tempings behalf).
This heavily affects student ambas-
sadors who are responsible for rep-
resenting the university to the public.
Anthony Shaw, who helped with the
thestudentroom.co.uk open week says:
I was hoping to get the payment
before Christmas but it was such
a hassle. At every stage I had to
email around to get an idea wheth-
er I was going to be paid soon.
I did get paid eventually, but with
the time I had to spend to making
sure, Im not sure Id do it again.
It remains to be seen as to whether the
service will improve but hopefully
these were just transitional problems.
If the situation remains the same,
these problems will disincentivise
many applicants who will already
be busy enough with their studies.
This would be great shame as tem-
porary work provides a key service
to many students both to supplement
their income and improve their CV.
Geoffrey Chapman
The entrance to the proposed College space. Inset: Professor Sir Lawrence Freedman.
21st January - 3rd February 2013
5
NEWS
@Jackson12th
When Casey L, Roar!s limited
Christmas edition, left the press on
December 14th, it provoked instant
controversy among some readers.
The article in question, In Defence of
Page 3 by Hugh Thomson was a satir-
ical piece that was not viewed as such.
Arguing for The Suns infamous Page
3 to be held up as a tradition worthy
of praise and admiration, Thomson
attempted to satirically critique the
institution by providing reasons he
felt were bordering on the ridiculous.
Led by the KCL Feminist Society,
and supported by other students, nu-
merous complaints about the article
where posted to Roar! editors as well
as the oIfcial roarnews Twitter
account as the article was miscon-
strued as serious, with the points
made actually held by the author and
supported by Roar!s editorial staff.
Caitlin Herrity, the then-president of
KCL FemSoc posted on Ben Jack-
sons Roar! submissions page: Cant
work out whether youve decided to
endorse outdated, hurtful and of-
fensive comments accross [sic] the
board, or just regarding women.
The situation surrounding the of-
fending article was not helped by
Roar!s initial response. Hindered by
internal miscommunication, the of-
fcial Twitter account posted that the
story was serious as far as I know.
This was quickly remedied when
new information came to light.
More outrage followed as the ar-
ticle was posted on KCL Fem-
Socs Facebook page, with
the top half of it missing.
It appears that the satire was not taken
as such by all students. Comments in
the article were deemed to be of a
misogynistic nature, and the jokes
crude and offensive to a group that
views itself as marginalised by society.
Quotes in the article such as with
a bit of plastic surgery and a decent
diet, any girl can look like that were
deemed by the Roar! editorial team
as too farcical to be construed as seri-
ous, while some students felt that they
were demeaning and went too far.
The Feminist Society were invited to
partake in the media forum that was
scheduled the next day. Three mem-
bers of KCL FemSoc attended to air
their grievances about the article.
Media Forum chair and Roar! News
Editor, Ben Jackson handed chairman-
ship over to Vice President of Student
Media and Engagement (VPSME),
Charlotte Richardson, who acts as
Editor-in-Chief for the newspaper and
the other KCLSU media societies.
She, and many of the Roar! team who
were in attendance, proceeded to re-
spond to the allegations of misogyny.
An apology was issued to those
who took offence from the VPSME,
though it was reiterated that no of-
fence was intended and that the ar-
ticle was farcical in the extreme.
Having discussed the article for twenty
minutes, the Feminist Society thanked
the Media Forum members who at-
tended, and leIt apparently satisfed.
As part of the terms agreed in the me-
dia forum, the Feminist Society have
written a collaborative piece in re-
sponse to the initial article. They have
also used the opportunity to discuss
the wider issues surrounding wom-
ens rights and rape culture in the UK.
You can hnd the KCL Feminist
Societys statement on page 7.
Should you wish to respond to
it, email editor@roarnews.co.uk
#PAGE3GATE AND THE
FEMINIST SOCIETY UPROAR!
Max Edwards
London news
The London Underground may not
be your ideal mode of transportation,
but its undoubtedly less stressful and
expensive than trying to drive in Lon-
don, quicker than buses and warmer
than walking. It also remains one
of the worlds most complex under-
ground travel systems, with a 249-
mile track, that gives passage to an
estimated 1.1 billion people annually.
Thus, its unsurprising that for most
London students, their Oyster card
inevitably becomes their best friend.
This year the London Underground
celebrates its 150th anniversary,
so watch out for the special events
planned throughout 2013 to com-
memorate the occasion. The frst
of which took place on the morn-
ing oI Sunday 13th January, as Met
Locomotive 1, a steam train built in
1898, travelled between Kensington
Olympia and Moorgate, carrying
specially invited guests including
Mayor of London, Boris Johnson.
Met Locomotive 1 followed the path
of the original Metropolitan Line
(now known as the Hammersmith &
City Line), the frst ever Underground
line that opened between Paddington
and Farringdon on 9th January 1863.
Mayor Johnson called the trip ex-
traordinary, and said We had steam
coming in through the windows, huge
thick clouds of white steam going past
and then bits of soot coming through
from the engine. It was fascinating, as
the train started to go up from Kens-
ington to Notting Hill you could feel
the engine really strain, but as we lev-
eled off it picked up a lot of speed.
Further adding It was romantic.
You understand all those Victorian
novels and the assignations that pos-
sibly took place on those velvet
seats. It was pure Conan Doyle.
Sam Mullins, director of the London
Transport Museum added: It was
almost a little surreal, youre sitting
in a wonderfully restored Victorian
railway carriage, looking out through
steam onto a 21st-century metro
platform with pressed aluminum. As
you looked to the platforms, eve-
rybody had a smile on their face.
Hundreds of rail enthusiasts joined
commuters on stations and bridges
to catch a glimpse of the train, of-
ten being covered by steam as it
travelled past. The restored steam
train made two more trips that day,
both sold-out, between Olympia
and Moorgate, and then Moorgate
to Edgware Road. More steam jour-
neys are expected on 20th Janu-
ary to continue the celebrations.
Other celebration plans include a
series of theatrical productions at
the disused Aldwych station, screen-
ings of London Underground themed
flms Irom the BFI archives and an
exhibition entitled Poster Art 150:
Londons Greatest Designs at the
London Transport Museum, to ex-
hibit some of the Undergrounds
distinctive artwork from across the
decades. Art on the Underground also
intend to have a prominent British
artist bring artworks into each sta-
tion as well as publish limited edition
tube themed posters and prints by
fIteen notable contemporary artists.
Also to mark the anniversary, the
Royal Mail has issued commemo-
rative stamps, while the Royal
Mint is pressing special edition 2
coins. Commuters can also pur-
chase commemorative Oyster cards.
According to TFL, the events are
aimed at exploring the Tubes fascinat-
ing history and looking at the vital role
it will continue in the future - both in
the lives of Londoners and to the eco-
nomic life of London and the UK.
Mike Brown, Managing Director of
London Underground, also touched
upon the Undergrounds future, stat-
ing: As we mark the 150th anniver-
sary oI the world`s frst underground
railway we are also building for the fu-
ture. Well lets hope so; considering
the population of London is expected
to increase by one million in the next
20 years, making the London Under-
ground more signifcant than ever.
As Sundays steam journey drew to
an end, Mayor Johnson fondly re-
marked: The arrival of the Tube
was truly revolutionary and today it
is still admired around the world. It
annihilates distance, liquidates traIfc
and is the throbbing cardiovascular
system of the greatest city on earth.
Nida Ali
TFL CELEBRATES 150 YEARS OF THE TUBE
The oIIending article Ieatured a picture oI a model in a revealing Santa outft. Inset: Roar!s Christmas issue.
edited by Nida Ali
NEWS
THE ECHO CHAMBER OF TWITTER
21st January - 3rd February 2013 6
Olivia Selley
Comment Editor
comment@roarnews.co.uk
COMMENT
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO WRITE FOR COMMENT, GET IN TOUCH AT COMMENT@ROARNEWS.CO.UK
When announcing my hate for Twitter
to people, the usual response is one
of surprise. Thats what is so great
about talking to actual people, they
respond to you, and in real time too.
I realise that not everyone loves
Twitter and so this article may be
preaching to the unconverted, but
to those Twitter converts and avid
practicing Tweeters I hope it highlights
its utter redundancy and uselessness.
Some of the proposed advantages of
Twitter are as follows: it is a great
business tool; it gives the individual
a voice; it gives users real time access
to gossip and current affairs; connects
friends; connects people who might
not otherwise meet but who have
common interests. All of these are
widely considered positive attributes
of Twitter. However in reality none
of them are particularly positive.
Companies use it to target a potential
client base. There is plenty of
statistical analysis available online
that tell businesses things such as
1/4 people will follow companies
on Twitter in order to fnd bargains
and discounts. Having read this
random companies start following
randomers in the hope that they
might be followed back. You are
then their pawn in their profteering
game. They want your custom, not
your opinion or your love. The cold
hearted bastards. Besides as if we
need to be any more bombarded by
advertising than we already are by
the endless stream in magazines,
internet pop ups, YouTube, 4OD,
billboards, buses, television.
Secondly while I dont think
individuals having a voice is a bad
idea entirely, I do think that given
the opportunity individuals feel
a strange urge to vomit all their
thoughts into the bottomless pit that
is the Twittersphere. Did I use that
right? Twittersphere? Similarly it
gives anyone who has an opinion
on an opinion you have expressed
the opportunity to contact you and
tell you exactly why they think you
are wrong. And while one practices
discretion by not re-tweeting such
things, you have still had to read and
digest whatever it is this person has
said despite having never asked for
their opinion in the frst place. Twitter
provides a wonderful platform for
people to, frstly, take oIIence, and
secondly, broadcast their offence to
the world. When not taking offence
people are broadcasting their choice
of breakfast cereal or latest wardrobe
decisionssnore. Besides, most of
us are fortunate enough to have actual
voices, its a wonder we dont use
them more to talk, rather than Tweet.
Mark Henderson, author of The Geek
Manifesto says that Twitter brings
friends together by allowing them to
share experiences with one another.
He says the beauty of Twitter is that
if you feel the wind though your hair,
and want to share that experience
with people, Twitter allows you to
do that. Its a pretty trivial example,
but a very accurate one. People do
take to Twitter to share experiences,
even when they are already sharing
it with someone else. People use it
to broadcast what a great time they
are having with a chum and fellow
Twitter user, but really that just
interrupts the time they are spending
together. It becomes a tool of self-
validation, look at me, I have a voice
and I have a friend! Congratulations.
Perhaps the real-time access to
news and current affairs is the
indisputable advantage of Twitter?
Well, no. First of all, every paper
and news channel provides 24-hour
rolling news updates and coverage
so Twitter is superfuous. Secondly
Twitter is a forum for glorious
misinformation or dangerously
abbreviated information. Every
Twitter user seems to think they are
journalists themselves, re-tweeting
adding and adding their own spin on
stories to the point where the truth
becomes buried in some collaborative
tome of error. Thirdly, all of this
emphasis on real time information
is rather counterproductive. Rather
than providing an educative
base it encourages minimal
gestation of information as
people form opinions instantly
and then discard the vital broader
information and context. Informed
in 140 characters. Yeah, right.
I dont think Twitter is an especially
divisive issue because, I hope, no
one cares enough. And this is the
fnal problem with Twitter, no one
does care about it, but still millions
of people engage with it every day.
Why? It only indicates our mindless
subordination to the idea that hyper-
connectivity is a good idea. Well,
I dont think so, there are far too
many freaks out there in the sphere.
In yet another fantastic wildlife
series, Africa, David Attenborough
doesnt shy away from presenting
the daily competition for life
and death in explicit detail.
The animal world, it seems is
populated solely by predators
and prey of one sort or another.
Our corner of the animal kingdom is
no different, and Africa, unfortunately,
is the perfect example of that. In the
last 100 years Africa has struggled
to develop into the productive
and autonomous region that every
other continent has, more or less.
Many interventions have been
attempted over the decades to try
and get Africa on its feet and give
it a fghting chance. Clearly they
havent worked. Aid has achieved
many great things but, on the
whole, has the condition of the
region improved signifcantly?
Does there appear to be a general
trend towards genuine and lasting
development across the board?
Not really. The same sad stories
keep repeating themselves.
This is the case, not because the
rich countries arent doing enough
but because were doing too much.
Africa would be best left alone,
and the reason we dont leave it
be is ultimately because its more
proftable Ior the rich world to have
Africa undeveloped and dependent
on tokenistic handouts than to
have it on an even playing feld.
In the 1600s nutmeg was worth many
times more than its weight in gold. A
decent size sack could set you up for
life, with a house, staff and expensive
wine till the day you died. It also
only grew on a few islands in modern
day Indonesia. That constituted
it as a serious complication in
a time when Indonesia wasnt
even on any English maps.
But eventually English merchants
decided to cut out the Venetian and
Persian middle men and go directly
to the source (in little wooden boats
packed Iull oI mostly drunk fshermen
from the west country, with no
toothbrushes but plenty of scurvy) to
take advantage oI the enormous profts
a successful mission could make.
The profts were enormous because
nutmeg at its source was dirt cheap.
The natives of the Spice Islands
werent exactly stakeholders in the
international economy and as such
they charged almost nothing for
their nutmeg, and were happy to
almost give it away by the boat load.
It was so lucrative that it gave the
English a nasty habit for making
enormous profts at the expense
of poorer undeveloped nations.
The trading company that led these
missions to the Spice Islands became
the English East India Company.
Like the merchants who fnanced the
hugely expensive and risky missions
to the Spice Islands, modern multi
national companies know from
experience that big investment in
the early stages reaching out and
exploiting natural resources at their
source can really pay off in the long run.
But, to be the lucky multi national
that gets to go there and do that you
have to have the supply that meets a
demand. If a country already has a lot
of competition from similar service
providers theres no demand for you. If
a countrys laws protect itself from big
foreign companies, you the big multi
national are not the supply they want.
Africa, on the whole, neither has
its own native companies that can
compete with the multi nationals
nor does it bar them from entry.
The result is not only exploitation
of its resources but a lack of native
African economic development as
African companies fail to compete
with the multi nationals that have
come in to fll the gap in the market.
Before the industrial revolution,
England was a relatively poor
nation of Europe. So it protected
its resources and domestic markets
until its native industries were
strong enough to trade competitively
with those on the continent.
For all the barbarous plundering
and bloodshed of the British
Empire, the real wealth was made
through its trade in markets that it
dominated. Just like with the nutmeg.
Its called protecting your infant
industries and it didnt only work
for the British. The Americans did it
too. During the frst halI oI the 20th
century America was isolationist
politically and protectionist
economically. It made great use of its
natural resources domestically until it
was ready to compete internationally.
WW2 also helped even out the
international economy, which
America was then able to
dominate. And that seems to have
worked out well for them too.
China is the most recent example
and even more relevant to Africa,
the only remaining undeveloped
continent: After 100 years of being
exploited and generally pushed
around by Britain and others, China
shut down its boarders during
the middle of the 20th century
and developed in safe isolation.
About 25 years later it started to
slowly open for business when it
felt good and ready and that has
gone pretty well for them too Id say.
Spare a thought for poor Mali.
Once an empire made possible
by the trans Saharan trade route,
it profted Irom competitive trade
on the back of camels in much
the same way that Europeans later
profted under sail and in turn made
the trans Saharan routes obsolete.
Today Mali cant afford adequate
defences against Islamist rebels
and has to rely on France for help.
500 years ago we developed the
competitive advantage over Africa.
Isnt it about time we let go?
TRADING IN THE HEART OF DARKNESS
James Rowland
Alexander Roberts
Bloody feminists complain-
ing about something or oth-
er again; what is it now..?
So you may or may not have heard the
furore at the end of last term, which
saw Roar! fall under accusations of
sexism and misogyny. This was the
result of a full page article published
in the Christmas special edition, enti-
tled: In DeIence oI Page 3. As word
spread and the article was circulated,
people quickly moved from disbe-
lief to genuine anger and outrage,
reading lines such as with a bit of
plastic surgery and a decent diet, any
girl can look like that. Women have
a duty. Could be the motivation they
need. There were so many offensive
lines such as this that were not go-
ing to offer a point by point response
to the December article; instead,
were going to explain our position.
One of the most obvious issues
with the article was that it was sup-
posedly just a joke and therefore
shouldnt be taken seriously or
found offensive.... However, there
were many at the time who were un-
sure if it was a joke or not (includ-
ing members of the Roar! Edito-
rial Team!) and this is hugely telling.
The fact that we cant immediately
discern whether such sexist hate-
speech is meant to be humourous or
not, shows how prevalent these atti-
tudes have become; that it has some-
how become acceptable to fnd Iun in
discrimination. Furthermore, even if it
was meant as a joke, at whose expense
was the joke being made? Its clear
that the arguments were not aimed
at stereotyped sexist men who buy
The Sun, but rather at fat old women
who complain about Page 3 and are
probably just jealous themselves.
Irony, satire or just political humour
are meant to ridicule and belittle sex-
ism; not perpetuate it. Its not good
enough to say that irony is in the
conception, not the reception: the
entire premise of irony is to show
contempt for something contempt-
ible, whilst mocking it. If you fail at
the contempt you fail at the irony, and
simply end up reproducing and thus
reinforcing that which youre meant
to be criticising. (After the article was
published, members of the Feminist
Society shared various brilliant sat-
ires, for example John Scalzis Hi
Im a Rapist, to prove this point).
Whatever your intentions, if you
say something sexist youve said
something sexist, and need to ac-
cept your responsibility. You can-
not simply spew sexist bile by slyly
hiding your words under the veil of
satire, and then dismissing other
peoples upset as an overreaction.
If you walk up to someone and acci-
dentally step on their foot, you cant
blame them for having their foot
there: you walked up to them and you
ought to have watched where you
were going. It also raises the ques-
tion: would Roar! have ever printed
such derogatory comments about a
race or religion? Probably not, and
this brings us to the wider issue.
Right now the national No More
Page 3 Campaign (NoMoreP-
age3) is collecting signatures and
raising awareness through activ-
ism of how people feel about the
widespread availability of teenage
breasts in a family newspaper, and
what impact it is having on society.
To state the bleeding obvious, the
Roar! article In Defence of Page
3` was actually accompanied by an
airbrushed photo of a skinny white
glamour model. Of course, there is
nothing inherently wrong with the im-
age itself, but by choosing this, rather
than a satirical cartoon or a photo
of readers of The Sun, once again
shows the real attitude of the piece.
As research by the Everyday Sexism
Project (@EverydaySexism) shows,
there is strong evidence that such im-
ages contribute to a deeply problem-
atic ideology in the public conscious-
ness relating to womens breasts;
who owns them, who has the right
to touch them and who is entitled to
judge and comment on them. The
Page 3 issue is thereIore important be-
cause it feeds into a wider sexist cul-
ture (brace yourselves for some stats).
Sexism IS important because were
living in a world where less than 1
in 4 of our MPs and only 1 in 5 of
those in the House of Lords is female.
Where only 15 oI the 573 listed stat-
ues commemorating people around
the UK are of women and less than
1 in 10 of our engineers are female.
This problem pervades every part
of our society: in Chemistry 50%
of undergraduates are women, but
only 6% of professors, and only
5 oI the 250 major flms last
year were directed by women.
Perhaps most terrifyingly, in a Home
OIfce survey as recent as 2009, 20
of those polled said it was acceptable
in some circumstances for a man to
hit or slap his wife or girlfriend in re-
sponse to her being dressed in sexy or
revealing clothes in public, and 36
said a woman should be held fully or
partially responsible if she is sexu-
ally assaulted or raped whilst drunk.
As MP and former equalities minister
Lynne Featherstone said, the link be-
tween Page 3 and domestic violence
is about the constant drip, drip of
women being sexualised in the pub-
lic space [which] has a great bearing
on attitudes and domestic violence.
So where do we go from here? Well
on the bright side its Womens His-
tory Month in March, and our Society
and the whole of KCLSU will be cele-
brating amazing women, who despite
the odds have overcome this every-
day sexism to achieve great things.
You can also join the KCL Feminist
Society (@KCLFemSoc), an open
liberation group founded this year for
all Kings students (yes, including the
boys) where we can come together to
try and fgure out how to eliminate sex-
ism from our university, and our lives.
#PAGE3GATE, AND WHY THE
FEMINISTS GOT ALL ANGRY
LETTERS
7
KCL Feminist Society
In light of a meeting with representatives of the KCL Feminist
Society, Roar! invited them to provide a response to that article.
This is their full, uncensored statement...
*
*Headline chosen by KCL Feminist Society
@roar_news
You learn many things when you
live in a city like London. One
thing that you do not learn is how
to respect and make time for others.
I like to think that I am reasonably
polite but Ive often pushed past daw-
dling people on the tube or exchanged
a hi-ok-thanks-bye with the man
who just served me a coffee; and, as
every Londoner likes to repeat to es-
tablish their position as a Londoner:
dont even get me started on tourists.
I have been in Chapel Hill, North
Carolina, for just one week and I al-
ready feel very welcome. Almost eve-
ryone I have met is amicable from the
beginning. Hello sir, how are you to-
day? and Oh, youre welcome! are
seldom used in London. The former
is seen as empty artifce and the lat-
ter as pointless- why would you ac-
knowledge that someone has just said
thankyou when youve already done
something to warrant the thankyou?
The title sir is only used by old
fashioned people or perhaps a police
oIfcer; here, teenagers say it to their
peers and adults, and vice versa. They
are small and brief pleasantries but, as
an American once told me, they show
the other person that you respect them.
It extends beyond etiquette as well:
the South appears to deserve its rep-
utation for hospitality. Earlier this
afternoon, Elise, whom I had only
met two days ago, offered to drive
me half an hour to the supermarket
so I could live beyond my Spartan
regimen of coffee-bagel-coffee-pizza.
Beyond London, the excessive po-
liteness of English people is often
counter-productive. I am not an awk-
ward person but I have often been in
situations where I do not ask ques-
tions because It is rude to ask too
many questions. At an American
friends dinner party the other night,
the guests seemed interested in ask-
ing me questions without being too
inquisitive and, conversely, were just
as happy to talk about themselves.
The Americans I have met so far
have seemed eager to achieve a fa-
miliarity with me yet they are aware
that its always nice to be polite.
Although British people are known
for their excessive politeness, I do
think that London is outside of this
maxim. Londoners attitudes to-
wards others seem to run along these
lines: this is a big city so Ill never
see this guy again, why do I need to
bother being friendly? or I live in
London; I am a big shot; I have no
time for manners. It is easy to come
to the city and get caught up in a
mentality which leaves little time
for people who are not your friends.
Perhaps my frst impressions oI North
Carolina will be exposed as nave but
I feel that Americans here are sin-
cere in their friendly demeanour. Im
not sure why people are more ap-
proachable and welcoming but it is
a refreshing environment to live in.
I like to think that Ill come back
home and be a bit more pleasant to
fellow Londoners and tourists alike.
amanshouldtravel.wordpress.com
WELCOME TO NORTH CAROLINA! WERE VERY FRIENDLY
James Thorpe
I live in the Czech Repub-
lic where for Christmas people
keep live carp in their bathtubs.
And then they eat them. Well,
most of the time... I have a
friend whose family somehow
forgot about the carp one year.
They found its corpse several weeks
later in a bathroom they didnt use.
Seeing the fsh on the market stalls
this year got me thinking about the
bizarre ways people around the world
have spent their holidays. Or the
ones we dont know about at least.
In the UK, you decorate your houses
in fashing multicoloured lights, set
puddings on fre, watch old men in
drag on stage and wear paper crowns
whilst asking each other questions
such as Who hides in the bakery at
Christmas? or What do you get if you
cross Father Christmas with a duck?.
(The answers, which Im sure youre
absolutely dying to know, are a mince
spy and a Christmas quacker.)
To an extraterrestrial visitor, these tra-
ditions would probably be just as bi-
zarre as the traditions of other cultures.
These are some of my favour-
ite ways people have spent their
holidays around the world:
In Japan, they queue up for the
ultimate romantic meal at KFC.
The company has cleverly mar-
keted fried chicken as being the
traditional food for Christmas
day, which is also considered as a
time to spend with your loved one.
In New York, there is a riveting
television programme lasting 24
hours. You spend your Christmas
day watching a virtual burning log.
Naughty children are threatened
with being sacrifced to the Jolakt-
turinn, or the Christmas Cat, in Ice-
land. If that doesnt work there
is always the threat of the Christ-
mas trolls. Or banking collapse.
75% of Finns like to spend
time at a cemetery. It makes
for a very merry Christmas.
There is a game in America, called
Snap Dragon, where contestants
pick raisins out of burning brandy
and put them out with their mouths.
In Arizona in America, gun clubs of-
fer the opportunity for families show
their peace and goodwill by pos-
ing with Father Christmas. Oh, and
AK47s, machine guns and grenades.
To brighten up an otherwise dreary
morning at church, inhabitants of Cara-
cas, Venezuela, arrive on roller-skates.
New Years Eve in Germany, Fin-
land, Estonia, the Netherlands, Aus-
tria, South Africa, Denmark, Norway
etc. etc. etc. is celebrated by watch-
ing on television an elderly English
aristocrat being served dinner by her
butler with her imaginary friends.
Whilst Dinner for One has its
merits, I prefer the version Eu-
ros for No One featuring Angela
Merkel and Nicholas Sarkozy.
For some, all around the world, the
holidays started by feeing to magi-
cal mountains such as Rtanj moun-
tain in Serbia or Bugarach in France
to escape the expected apocalypse.
Others spent their money wise-
ly and useIully bought 30,000
survival pods that could sup-
posedly withstand 1km waves.
However, as the world has not ended
we have all had to return to Kings
and the world of deadlines and ex-
ams. Welcome back, everyone.
HOW DID YOU SPEND YOUR HOLIDAY?
Dora Robinson
8
Anthony Shaw
Features Editor
features@roarnews.co.uk
FEATURES
I was working at The Bolton News
this month when a strange call came
in from a man in the area who claimed
he woke up to a small earthquake.
The pensioner, who wished to re-
main anonymous, said he woke up
at 1:10am to his house shaking. At
frst, he thought he was having a
heart attack. I mused, perhaps hed
had a heavy night of drinking and
his stomach was rumbling the next
morning. Maybe hed had tremen-
dous wind? Fortunately, I had the
tact to keep these thoughts to myself.
He alleged the tremors slowly died
down aIter 30 minutes, beIore he
went back to sleep. If my house
was shaking for half an hour, I im-
agine Id probably get the heck
out of there, but to each their own.
It felt as though plywood was be-
ing sawed with an old blade, said
the pensioner, aged 79, which I
thought was a rather prudish way
of describing an earth tremor. Gen-
erally, quake testimonies tend to
produce erotic connotations, with
all the intense vibrations that one
must experience during the event.
The man from Bolton had called a
friend in the area, who suggested that
it might be due to a possible collapse
underground in one of the local coal
mines, which date back to the 18th
century. I was however still suspi-
cious about these curious claims.
Keen to get to the bottom of the
case and help my new friend out,
I contacted Julian Bukits of the
British Geological Survey (BGS),
who scrutinised the signals from
the nearest seismograph sites and
found that there had been no no-
ticeable change the night before.
Bukits said: There was no evi-
dence of a seismic disturbance, of
any kind, detected by the BGS seis-
mograph network. It may well be
the case that a man in Bolton did
experience something but, what-
ever it was, may have been so local-
ised and too small to be recorded.
A small quake hit my home county of
Cumbria last year, reaching a mag-
nitude of 2.1 on the Richter scale.
It is suspected that it was caused
by fracking in nearby Lancashire.
Fracking is a controversial process
that involves drilling down into the
earth and creating small explosions to
shatter shale rocks to release the gas
inside. Who ever thought setting off
bombs underground was a good idea?
British earthquakes arent a recent
thing; they were occurring long be-
fore the infamous rise of shale gas
drilling. BGS started operating in
1835 when my pensioner Iriend was
a mere boy, and they experience
around 20 earthquakes a year, most
of which occur along the west coast.
If you wake up in the middle of the
night and think your house is shaking,
I encourage you to feel your stomach
before calling the press. After the unu-
sual task of investigating the claim of
a local earthquake, I am certain of one
thing I fracking hope my dear friend
in Bolton gets his bowels sorted out.
SHARD GIVEN A PLATFORM
The majestic tall glass building
erecting from London Bridge shines
brightly even in the dull winter morn-
ing. The peace and splendour is slight-
ly ruined by the onslaught of com-
muters to building works which seem
forever non-ending. The entrance to
the shard is a wide open plan space
still containing the fresh layer of
foor laden dust and strong Iurnished
smell that you get from new construc-
tion that few have yet walked upon.
Passing through one set of security
checking tickets, you climb the stairs
into the main hall, where you snake
through the line and thus have to pass
through airport like security of full
body scanner, after which you empty
your pockets and hand your bags to
go through the x-ray. Having done
this your short walk to the frst liIts is
a memorable one. Murals litter each
side of the wall, containing famous
landmarks such as Marble Arch and
the National Theatre, celebrities from
over the decades were drawn into
the frames, the Queen on the scooter
with her corgis and London Mayor
Boris Johnson shining the shoes of
a top hated former mayor Ken Liv-
ingstone. The foors are also to be
admired, the river snakes through the
middle as living words of tales and
words of wisdom from around the
boroughs of London strewn across
the design such as Londons earli-
est tea house was here and so on.
The lifts themselves are split into two,
one taken Irom ground to the 33rd
level and then another up to the 68th.
Signs that there was still work to be
done before the grand opening on the
1st February could be seen, the lift at-
tendant informing us that the smashed
lights in the lift was due to an error
by a workmen with clumsy hands
equipped with a ladder. En-route half-
way up one of the side panels decided
to leave the wall, all quite comical
and minor things that tend to happen
in that hasty run up to public opening.
As the liIt ventures to the 68th foor,
a mighty 800ft above the ground, the
lift whistles, ears begin to pop and the
one screen still working on the ceil-
ing shows colourful animations of
weather going from torrential rain to
bright sunshine as you reach the top.
There were two parts to the viewing
platIorm, the frst being the inside
section, benefcial Ior the less brave
vertigo sufferers like myself who still
feel safe enclosed and not less afraid
oI the towering glass fowing down
to the streets. The view itself was not
great due to the mornings cloudy
plume, however the awe at being so
high above London was fascinating,
a rare feeling to be so far away from
the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
On a clear day, the view can reach
out over 40 miles into the distance; a
view that over shines any other build-
ing in Western Europe. The special
telescopes used on the foor were es-
sential in this glum morning, design-
ers using the unpredictability of Lon-
don visibility to their advantages. Not
only do they show a live feed through
the lens, but also an as it is image, a
pre recorded visual ranging from what
London looks like on a clear day to
that of also a sunset view and a night
time view. By focusing on landmarks,
an audible hearing relates some infor-
mation about the points of interest.
It was then a short walk up the stairs
to the outdoor level; the scaffolding
that still lay to one corner increased
my moderate fear of heights and a
hasty few moments wondering if they
had successfully completed this sec-
tion yet. After a nervous walk to the
edge you quickly realised you are not
as exposed as originally thought. Af-
ter a few touristy snaps on the cam-
era, it was ready to go, a quick fve
minutes back down, passing the gift
shop still in its refurbishment infancy.
Before you know it youre back out
to reality, back to the London as
you know it, a strange feeling in it-
self. The whole trip took around 25
minutes, queuing was minimal and
the process very smooth. All staff
were very friendly and informa-
tive, ready to answer any ques-
tions, profcient in keeping the Ioot
traIfc moving at a leisurely pace.
In regards to price, tickets are sell-
ing at 25 per adult for the experi-
ence, at frst thought this is very
expensive, however with this being
cheaper than the London, Eye, a bet-
ter view, and to be honest a much
more pleasant and enjoyable visit,
the price for the new top London at-
traction seems to be rather rewarding.
A DEADLY EARTHQUAKE OR A RUMBLY TUMMY?
Ben Jackson
What are the best pubs in the area
around Kings?
Whether you just want a quick tipple,
a longer session, or even a London
cultural experience, where should
you go to spend your hard earned stu-
dent loan?
In no particular order, here is a quick
compilation oI the top fve walking
distance pubs:
1. Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese,
Fleet Street
Apparantly Dickens used to frequent
and once you have found your way
in, you can see that the place has kept
much of its character. Great for a rea-
sonably priced pint of bitter and not
too far from Kings on Fleet Street, a
must-visit for any history, and beer,
lover.
2. The Knights Templar,
Chancery Lane
Not just any old Wetherspoons. Im-
pressive and just across the road from
the Maughan library, this pub is a
fantastic, affordable place to have
a nice pint and a bit of pub-grub to
boot. Not going into too much detail
its a Wetherspoons so is pretty much
like any other it is certainly worth a
visit, if for nothing else to make you
feel slightly more important than your
budget allows!
3. The Princess Louis, High
Holborn
A personal favourite. Just down High
Holborn opposite Holborn station,
this is a real gem. Separated into
compartments in original Victorian
style with authentic furnishings, it
feels like a top hat should be on the
dress code. But the casual atmosphere
makes it a truly enjoyable place to
have a drink and everywhere there are
unexpected delights (the urinals in the
gents havent changed since Victorian
times!)
4. The George, Strand
A cosy, Sunday lunch pub. Opposite
the Royal courts of Justice, this is
the place to sit in the warm, put your
feet up, bring out the pipe (electronic
of course) and read The Times (or
Roar!). Also deserving of a mention
is the Ye Olde Cock Tavern just up
the road which has many of the same
attributes. For more grandeur on the
Strand, try the Old Bank of England.
Let`s just say the faming torches out-
side are just a taste of its majesty.
5. The Punch and Judy,
Covent Garden
A bit of wild card considering other
greats such as the Seven Stars and the
Lyceum, but certainly worthy of a top
fve place. Complete with a balcony
overlooking the various performers
and market of Covent garden, this is
a place which refects all oI the char-
acter of one of the most vibrant parts
of London. Although pretty pricey,
this is defnitely worth a visit, even iI
its just for the one!
So there you have it, the best pubs
around Kings.
Although its a list worth following,
feedback would be welcome and
iI you fnd any pubs worth a visit
around Kings or anywhere in Lon-
don message me on henry.cross@kcl.
ac.uk, and your suggestions will be
included in forthcoming articles.
Also, anywhere around the centre of
London you cannot go wrong with
Samuel Smiths run pubs.
Just give that title a quick internet
search and every pub desire you have
will be satiated.
OUR TOP FIVE
WATERING HOLES
AROUND STRAND
9
FEATURES
@roar_news
Henry Cross
Liam Jackson
We live in a society in which the re-
view plays a very important role.
At one time a preserve of the Arts,
an evaluation of almost anything
can now be found online, and well
rarely hand over our cash or tap in our
pin number without frst seeking the
advice of a stranger on the internet.
But dont for a moment let me give
you the impression that Im be-
moaning the rise of the review,
for they can often be invaluable.
Take, for example, Andrews re-
view on Amazon for Veet for Men
Hair Removal Gel Creme (200 ml),
priced at a fairly reasonable 5.44.
Being a loose cannon who does not
play by the rules the frst thing I did
was ignore the warning and smear
this all over my knob and bollocks.
The bollocks I knew and loved are
gone now. In their place is a ma-
roon coloured bag of agony which
sends stabs of pain up my body every
time it grazes against my thigh or
an article of clothing. I am suffering
so that you dont have to. Heed my
lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB
AND BOLLOCKS. [Andrew went
on to give the product a 5 star rat-
ing because despite the fact that
I think my bollocks might fall off,
they are now completely hairless]
Andrews decision to share his expe-
rience with this product online means
that thousands of men across the na-
tion, perhaps even the world, will be
spared the ordeal that he so bravely
endured. But if this isnt enough to
justify our tendency to review every
object we come into contact with,
we only need to look at smartphone
apps, which can identify your lo-
cation and give you detailed user re-
views of every service you could pos-
sibly require within your local area.
Well, almost every service. One even-
ing last summer, however, I was not
in need of an Italian restaurant, a
traditional English pub, a cosy inde-
pendent cinema, or even a high-class
hooker. Instead I required the services
of a public lavatory. I smiled compla-
cently as I took out my phone and
readied myself to see what the various
reviewers had to say about the central
London facilities. No results found.
It took some time for my horror to
abate itself, but, once it had I resolved
that there was only one option: I would
have to write my own reviews. A lot
has happened since then, and recently
I was promoted to the position of chief
lavatory critic for a major newspaper.
Allow me to share with you
three of my recent reviews.
Broadwick Street, Soho
What better place to start than Broad-
wick Street Public Toilets, a lava-
tory of almost unequalled reputation.
The iron gates which surround the
steps leading down to the atrium (spa-
cious but not excessively so) tell you
what you should already know: you are
entering a high class establishment.
As if I wasnt excited enough during
my visit, upon arriving I noticed a
sign above the steps which informed
me that CCTV cameras were operat-
ing inside: a sure sign that there would
be some celebrities in that night.
I must admit I was a little surprised to
see one unfortunate patron sprawled
across the foor when I went in,
but its a sad inevitability that at an
establishment like this where ce-
lebrities can be spotted, the excite-
ment will prove too much for some.
An acquaintance I happened to bump
into reliably informed me that George
Michael had dropped in earlier on in
the night: this would go some way
to explaining our man on the foor.
But apart from that, it was a
thoroughly enjoyable evening.
Great Marlborough Street, Soho
Another celebrated venue in Soho, al-
though this reviewers experience was
unfortunately not a very positive one.
With a rather steep cover charge
of 50p this establishment tends
to attract an upmarket crowd:
young, professional types with
a bit too much cash to splash.
Nevertheless I grudgingly paid and
approached the attendant. Urinal
for one, sir? he asked. I hesitated,
before responding: Er no just
a cubicle for one tonight, please.
He nodded, smiled and led me to
my cubicle where I wasted no time
in making myself comfortable.
The dcor, I must admit, is a bit bare,
but my eye was caught on this occa-
sion by two holes in the side of the
cubicle door. At frst I couldn`t un-
derstand what they could possibly be
for, but later in the evening I realised.
I left GMS public lavatory with a
sour taste in my mouth, feeling I
hadnt really got my moneys worth.
Covent Garden
Heres one for when you face that
awkward where-to-go-on-a-frst-date
conundrum. I was supposed to be
meeting a work colleague and couldnt
for the life of me decide on a venue.
In the end I decided on the pub-
lic bathroom just off Covent Gar-
den, and couldnt have made a
better decision. Arriving a good
quarter of an hour early I thought I
might as well go downstairs rather
than waiting outside in the cold.
One minor disadvantage: It should
be pointed out that this establish-
ment does require its patrons to
roll up their trousers upon enter-
ing: the inch of urine that covers
the foor may well be crucial to the
ambiance, but can also stain trou-
sers, as any veteran will know.
The social aspect of this one has a lot
to be said for itself, though. Taking
my place at a urinal (I had to settle for
a middle one reserve at least a few
days in advance if you want an end
one) it was not long before I struck up
a conversation with a fellow patron,
who turned out to be a former lavato-
ry critic for a major TV news channel.
SuIfce to say we were able to ex-
change many entertaining anec-
dotes about our years in the feld.
Next week: reviews of the best
abortion clinics in London!
HUGH THOMSON REVIEWS TOILETS
Hugh Thomson
FEATURES
From Monday 28 January 2013 King`s
College London will be holding Ca-
reers in Public Policy Week - a week
of events and workshops about work-
ing in political organisations, think
tanks and other public policy roles.
This informative week has been
jointly organised by KCLs Careers
Service, KCL Think Tank Soci-
ety, KCL Model United Nations
Society, and KCL Politics Society.
The societies identifed a keen need
for this kind of event. While students
get plenty of information on how to
proceed in banking, law, consultancy
and other sectors, surprisingly little
information is available to help those
with an interest in politics and policy.
The Careers in Public Policy Week
aims to address the shortfall in
available information by host-
ing accessible events, engaging
workshops and networking events.
The events continue KCL Think
Tanks commitment to empower-
ing students by providing them with
opportunities to contribute to the
policy debate in a constructive man-
ner. The debates held by the society
are supported by subject experts, and
give students an opportunity to net-
work with proIessionals in the feld.
KCL Think Tanks annual jour-
nal, The Spectrum, provides stu-
dents with an opportunity to voice
their opinions and have them heard
by infuential experts and organi-
sations within the policy feld.
With continuing pessimism over the
economic climate both domestically
and internationally students are in-
creasingly voicing their concerns over
their career prospects. Strong compe-
tition for jobs means that students need
additional skills and experience in or-
der for their applications to stand out.
Careers in Public Policy Week aims
to provide students with the knowl-
edge, skills, and experience they
need in order to pursue a successful
career in politics or public policy.
KCL Think Tank President Sebas-
tiaan Debrouwere argues, Students
at a university with world-leading
departments and faculty in Politi-
cal Science should be well-informed
about how they can succeed in
making a mark on their societies
through a career in public policy.
The events will concentrate
on a whole spectrum of ca-
reer options in public policy.
At its event Working for a Think Tank
on Monday, KCL Think Tank will be
providing students with a valuable
insight into the world of think tanks.
Sebastiaan Debrouwere says, Think
tanks are not only some of the most
prominent actors in the political are-
na, but also some of the most valu-
able ones in terms of stimulating in-
novation. At our event, students
will be able to see how they can
start a career in this exciting feld,
progress in it, and capitalise on in-
ternships and other extracurricular
experiences to take a head-start.
KCL Politics Society will be
hosting its Working in West-
minster event on Thursday.
Ramtin Hajimonshi, the societys
President, comments, This event
will inform students on decision-
making at high levels and, in so
doing, provide students with a
greater capacity to secure intern-
ships and obtain careers in the feld.
The Careers Service will be run-
ning a number of workshops and
policy-tailored drop in sessions for
students, while EU Careers will be
giving talks and advice to students
hoping to pursue a career in the EU.
MONDAY 28TH JANUARY
13.00-14.00: Workshop held by
Careers Service
18.30-20.30: Working Ior a Think
Tank by KCL Think Tank (K6.29)
TUESDAY 29TH JANUARY
13.00-14.00: Workshop held by
Careers Service
18.30-20.30: Working Ior the UN/
International Organisations by KCL
MUN
WEDNESDAY 30TH JANUARY
13.00-14.00: Working Ior the EU,
organised by EU Careers Service
Afternoon (TBC): Policy-tailored
drop in sessions by Careers Service
THURSDAY 31ST JANUARY
13.00-14.00: Workshop held by Ca-
reers Service
18.30-20.30: Working in Westminster
by KCL Politics Society
Please visit Careers in Public Policy
Weeks Facebook page for more infor-
mation, including regular updates on
the events and workshops being held.
Assessment centre coming up?
Do you want to know what to ex-
pect and what skills will be useful?
Thankfully this week is Assessment
Centre week. Check out the events list,
left, to fnd out what, when and where.
Even if you have no got an assessment
centre lined up in the near future it is a
good idea to get geared up in advance.
For the majority of graduate
schemes and internships it is a ne-
cessity to pass the assessment
centre to land yourself the job.
Assessment centres last for a whole
day and consist of a wide vari-
ety of projects from group exc-
ersises to one-to-one interviews.
You may be required to under-
take different tasks such as a pres-
entation or competency tests.
The best way to avoid being daunted
on the day is to prepare in advance.
Research the company in de-
tail, showing you are aware of
the companys history and how
the company works shows that
you have an interest in the job.
Check if there is any helpful informa-
tion available on their websites regard-
ing the assessment centre and look up
what tasks you will have to undertake.
PB: Some Assessment Centre Week
events must be booked in adance. Check
out: http://iextras.thecareersgroup.co.uk/
rss/kingsrss.aspx for more
information
THIS WEEK: ASSESSMENT CENTRE WEEK
11
Mary Davies
Careers Editor
marydavies_@hotmail.com
CAREERS
KCL THINK TANK PUBLIC POLICY WEEK
Introduction to
Assessment Centre
21/01/2013 12:00
K0.18
Assessment Centre Skills
21/01/2013 13:00
S0.13
How to...Cover Letters
21/01/2013 16:30
Careers & Employability
Centre, The Bridge, Level 1
Macadam Building
How to get to the
Assessment Centre!
21/01/2013 17:30
FWB 1.17
Psychometric Testing
22/01/2013 12:00
FWB 3.52
Group Work
22/01/2013 13:00
FWB 1.17
Group Excersise
22/01/2013 17:30
K2.29, Council Room
Strength Based
Interviews
23/01/2013 12:00
K0.20
Microsoft Tech Talk
23/01/2013 18:00
K0.20
The Secret to
Assessment Centres
24/01/2013 12:00
FWB 3.52
Demystifying
Assessment Centres
24/01/2013 17:30
FWB 1.11
Assessment Centre Day
25/01/2013 10:00
Careers & Employability
Centre, The Bridge, Level 1
Macadam Building
Mock Assessment Centre
28/01/2013 12:30
26 Chapter Street SW1P 4NP
For more information regarding these
events please go to:
http://iextras.thecareersgroup.co.uk/
rss/kingsrss.aspx
Kathryn Hale & Aylan Aliyeva
WATCH
THIS SPACE
@roar_news
Max Edwards
Arts Editor
arts@roarnews.co.uk
ARTS
1970s STYLE
EDITORS PICKS
Privates on Parade, @ the Noel
Coward Theatre. Until March
2nd, 2013, tickets from 10.
Wildlife Photographer of the Year
Award, @ the Natural History Museum.
Until March 3rd 2013, concessions 5.
Luisa Omielan - What Would Be-
yonce Do?, @ The Soho Thea-
tre. Until January 26th 2013,
student tickets at 12.50-15
Hollywood Costume, @ the Vic-
toria & Albert Museum. Until
January 27th, Student tickets 9
Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait
Prize, @ the National Portrait Gal-
lery, Until February 17th 2013, free.
GET YOUR PRIVATES OUT
Michael Grandage, formerly artis-
tic director of the Donmar ware-
house, makes his directorial debut
since leaving to form his own theatre
company with Privates on Parade.
This, the frst oI fve plays during a res-
idency at the Noel Coward theatre, is
an all-singing, all-dancing, play-with-
songs, that follows SADUSEA, the
Song And dance Unit, South East Asia.
Tasked with entertaining the troops in
post-war Malaya, the camper and in-
nuendo is turned up to eleven through-
out, providing an excellent platform
for a wonderful cast of comic actors.
Of these, Simon Russell Beale is
the stand out performer. Perhaps
lacking the star quality of the sea-
sons other plays (which includes
the likes of Judi Dench, Jude Law
and Daniel Radcliffe), Beale creates
his own hype with a stunning per-
formance as Corporal Terri Denis.
A famboyant drag queen, he makes
a mockery of standard army proce-
dure, his lines flled with double en-
tendre and a mincing stage presence.
The aggressive camp of his perfor-
mance lends it a little daring, as the
does the full nudity of a shower scene.
However, this shock factor is shot
full with satire at no point does it
feel like just another Cabaret-clone,
instead it is a full blooded perfor-
mance with a message to get across.
Beales counterpoint, Major Flack,
played with great gusto and surpris-
ing subtleties by Angus Wright, is
the perfect foil for the camp cen-
tre stage. Naively blind to homo-
sexual behaviour going on in front
of his eyes, and always wanting to
do right for the nation, he leads the
troop into disastrous actual mili-
tary action in the heart of Malaya.
However, we are led to feel sorry for
this blithely upper class gent, who
only has what he feels are the best
interests of the men at heart, with his
kindness and unswerving faith in God.
While the absurdities of Beale
are perfectly counterpointed with
the small gestures of this master-
ful actor, at times Wright misses
a little subtlety that could lend
his performance a greater edge.
However, that is not to take away from
what was an inspired casting choice.
Away from Beale, Joseph Timms
as Corporal Flowers, and John
Marquez as a foul mouthed, work-
ing class corporal wrestling
with his sexuality are excellent.
Timms fresh-faced innocence leads
to many jokes at his expense: when
informed that a new intelligence
corps member is to be attached to
your section, Beales Terri responds
with a lascivious Sounds heaven.
Marquez is one of the ma-
jor human-interest sub plots.
His relationship with a fellow, out, in-
fantryman means a lot of soul searching
and diIfculty adjusting, complete with
swear-jar flling 'Iucks and 'shits.
Grandages masterstroke, apart from
Beales casting, comes however in his
portrayal of chino-Malayan waiters.
Silent throughout the play, their vi-
tal actions drive the plot forward.
In the fnal scene, they appear di-
vested of their stereotypical cloth-
ing, wearing business suits and
shaking hands in front of an image
of a modern-day East Asian city.
The message here is clear, as colonial-
isms bounds are thrown off, and the
rather ominous threat of the Easts
rapid expansion and continual pres-
ence is Western affairs is critiqued
in fve seconds oI on stage action.
Privates have been paraded, both
fguratively and literally, but Pe-
ter Nicholss play has a heart that
beats a serious tune beneath the
musical chorus that overlays it.
The fIteen month season is an excit-
ing opportunity for all to experience
excellent casts at the hands of prob-
ably the best director that British
theatre has to offer, for prices that
the West End hasnt seen for years.
Perhaps taking from the success of the
National Theatres 12 Travelex tick-
ets, Grandage`s entire run oI fve plays
will offer around 200 tickets per show
at just 10, more than affordable for all.
This is an opportunity to see some
oI the fnest productions and the
fnest actors Britain has to oI-
Ier, at some oI the fnest prices.
Max Edwards
Last Tuesday morning, music fans
emitted an excited gasp in unison
that measured on the Richter Scale.
Hes back. The Thin White Duke.
Ziggy Stardust. The Labyrinth Goblin
King (the 80s were a simpler time)
or, to you and me, David Bowie.
And whereas this is not the place to
discuss how generally amazing this is
(SO AMAZING), Bowies reappear-
ance sees him, in a rare moment of
conformity, following the trend rather
than leading it; looking at the arts cal-
endar, 2013 is so much about the 1970s
that it might as well have three-day
weeks and sport an ill-advised afro.
Imagine the arts scene in the 1970s.
The radio is dominated by Bowie,
who spends the entire decade casu-
ally creating classic albums like
Heroes and Ziggy Stardust.
The Rolling Stones, who release ar-
guably their fnest album in 1972,
and Fleetwood Mac, whose Ru-
mours sold more copies (prob-
ably) than Damien Hirst has pounds.
Now back to 2013, in which the big-
gest culture stories are oh wait
David Bowie (the subject of a massive
retrospective at the V&A, the most
hotly anticipated show since.well,
their Hollywood Costume show
of last month, but you know what I
mean), and the Stones and the Mac, the
bookies favourites for Glastonbury.
But it doesnt stop there the Tate
Modern may as well install a light-
up foor and disco ball in the Tur-
bine, with their two big draws for
the year being Roy Lichtenstein and
Kraftwerk, who bring das UberRo-
botFunk to the gallery this February.
So bring out those fares and celebrate
an art world where 1973 is the new 2013.
Michael Grandage (see below for
aa review of Privates on Parade) is
2013. His sublime directing skills
and masterful casts will blow away
hundreds of thousands of audience
members over the course of the year.
Contrary to my esteemed sub-
editor (pipe down at the back!),
2013 is not about the 1970s,
but is in fact about itself.
What better way Ior 2013 to be 2013
than a brand new play featuring some
new and some old(er) British talent?
Grandage brings us Peter and Alice in
March, John Logans brand new play
about the real life inspirations for
Alice in Wonderland and Peter Pan.
And arent we lucky to see two
amazing talent as M and Q hit
the stage together, in a kind of bi-
zarre 007-childrens fction mashup.
This will be the frst time Bond
stars Judi Dench and Ben Whishaw
have been on stage together.
Elsewhere, we have the usu-
al profigacy oI award shows
and brand new exhibitions.
However the most exciting bit of
2013 is oI course LS Lowry be-
ing shown at the Tate Modern.
Never before shown in the UK, this
major retrospective is pure 2013.
What better time to look at a Brit-
ish artist of Britain than when we
are basking in the uniquely 2013
post-Olympic glow (its like post-
coital, only ... more patriotic).
Be sure that the Olympics will fea-
ture heavily as London in particu-
lar tries to keep the happiness alive.
2013 will be an astonishing cul-
tural year, but it will be unique,
itself, its own best friend.
Instead of harking back it will create its
own legacy, and be something to hark
back to. The 70s are so last century.
Max Edwards
Samuel Spencer
NEW YEAR, NEW ART, NEW YOU
15
@onechaptermore
Samuel Spencer
Arts Sub-Editor
arts@roarnews.co.uk
The new portrait of Kate Middleton
revealed at the National Art Gal-
lery has polarised the art world.
Some have praised as both warm
and informal, a stark contrast to
the usual stiff and stern monar-
chical portraits we are used to.
But in this authors opin-
ion, its just a bit shite really.
How can a portrait of such a beau-
tiful young woman make her
look like a withered old ghost?
It is both unpleasant and ghast-
ly and Kate seems to leer from a
dark corner while seemingly hold-
ing in a simple passing of wind.
Normally I wouldnt mind Kate Mid-
dleton hiding in the corner of my
room but this incarnation makes me
want to whip out a crucifx and get
a posy together to go and burn her.
Remember that ruckus over those
photos of Kate a few months ago?
Well this portrait appears to have been
made with the sole intention of stop-
ping those who have not viewed the
photos from viewing those photos!
Now Im not suggesting that the
portrait should have been one of her
naked or from the waist up, I mean
- good heavens - that would be pre-
posterous - but a portrait of the future
Queen, a role-model to the world and
an international fgure... The portrait
should really do her more justice.
A stick woman would
have been better
And Im not alone in this view,
Guardian arts writer Charlotte
Higgins said that Kates mouth
looked clenched, her eyes looked
dead, and that the whole thing
had sepulchral gloom about it.
Kate Middleton is whatever
you think of the monarchy and all
its inane surrounding pomp a
pretty young woman with an infec-
tious smile, a cascade of chestnut
hair and a healthy bloom, she wrote
in a post to her newspapers web-
site. So how is it that she has been
transformed into something unpleas-
ant from the Twilight franchise?
KATES PORTRAIT - ITS
A BIT SHITE REALLY...
MASTER AND MARGARITA
Simon McBurneys theatre company
Complicate is enjoying its thirtieth
anniversary this year and its produc-
tions are just as exhilarating as ever.
Its most recent production, The Mas-
ter and Margarita, has returned to
the Barbican for two months after
playing there last Spring and going
on world tour for most of last year.
It is concept theatre at its very best.
Far too many productions
start with big ideas that get smaller
during the rehearsal process, of-
ten becoming so compromised that
the idea that inspired the produc-
tion might as well not be there.
Here, the overwhelming nature
of the technical wizardry and
intricate movement of the ac-
tors throughout brings the mad
world oI 1930s Moscow to liIe.
Originally a book written by Mikhail
Bulgakov lampooning Stalinist Russia,
it was never published in his lifetime.
It tells of the Devils visit to Mos-
cow (disguised as Professor Woland,
an expert in Black Magic) and the
havoc he wreaks, as well as the tale of
the Master and his lover, Margarita.
The book has been recreated on
stage almost scene for scene,
which is one of the reasons why
the play is so long the frst halI
alone is the best part of two hours.
However for all its length it never drags.
Several sections could easily have
been cut or condensed, but this would
have made a more conventional play.
One of the key characteristics of the
production is that it feels more like a
book through which we are being led.
A vast array of technical wiz-
ardry has been employed to re-
alise Bulgakovs weird world.
Indeed, so much so that the pro-
duction is too reliant on it.
In the frst sequence, Ior example,
from Professor Wolands arrival in
Moscow to the end of his perfor-
mance at the Moscow Variety Thea-
tre, there is so much trickery that it
occasionally becomes messy, espe-
cially when the actors microphones
were not adjusted swiftly enough.
On the other hand, the constant use of
flm to highlight Ieatures oI the cast,
to create disconnect between some of
the characters, and to give an idea of
the overwhelming nature of Moscow
and of the Russian state, worked well.
Even so it does feel slightly odd
to have a play in which the cen-
tral characters bemoan the increas-
ing reliance on technology to be
executed with such reliance on it.
Notable among the cast is Paul
Rhys as the Master whose slightly
pale and haunted stage presence
was mixed with a quiet, precise
and ethereal spoken voice which
is, at the same time, likeable and
ever so slightly disconcerting.
Its this that enables him to ex-
ecute a thrilling technical feat near
the end of the play. Susan Lynch is
also exhilarating as Margarita, fall-
ing halfway to madness. Sadly the
most exciting character in the book,
Behemoth, was a disappointment.
The uncouth cat companion of Woland
is made so foul and sexually explicit
in this production that he is repul-
sive rather than frightening and fun.
Complicates production deserves
two viewings rather than just one.
With this in mind, I very much hope
its not too long before it is revived.
James Sharpe
John Walters
Amongst a frankly stellar line-up
at the Tates this year (Lichten-
stein, Lowry and Patrick Caulfeld
in London, Glam style at Liver-
pool), the exhibition Im prob-
ably most looking forward too is
Kurt Schwitters in Britain, open-
ing next week at the Tate Britain.
A leading (iI not the leading) fgure oI
Dada, the exhibition features the work
created by Schwitters when he fed to
Britain in 1940 following his work be-
ing labelled degenerate by the Nazis.
And if degenerate art isnt enough
to justify a visit for me (I know it is
Ior me), this is the frst major exhi-
bition of his work in Britain, with
the majority of these works not hav-
ing been seen in Britain in 30 years.
Anyone who spends as much time
in the permanent collections as I do
will already be familiar with his col-
lage Picture of Spatial Growths
(its the collage with the ticket
stubs and the two black lines), and
this exhibit features 150 of the art-
ists other collages and sculptures.
Amongst many other achievements,
Schwitters was famous for his word-
less poetry symphonies, and his work
treats art in a similar way all the ele-
ments are there, but in totally unrecog-
nisable and utterly fascinating forms.
Although some of this shocking im-
pact has been dulled by collages
integration into the mainstream via
advertising, etc. (to which Schwit-
ters himself must take some of
the credit) most of this work still
feels amazingly avant-garde for
pieces that are 70 years old, and
that have had so much infuence.
His infuence can be seen in artists as
diverse as Damien Hirst and Richard
Hamilton, with his poetry performanc-
es being the missing link between the
European art world and beatboxing.
So this might not be the ideal show
for those of you who found the
Turner Prize a little too out there
for your tastes Schwitters at his
most extreme makes Spartacus
Chetwynd look like Hans Holbein.
But for those of us who cant think of
anything better than an afternoon spent
exploring the mind of a genius who
considered pram wheels and cotton
wool on an artistic parallel with paint
(which is so 2012), you can certainly
do a lot worse than Kurt Schwitters.
KURT SCHWITTERS AT THE TATE MODERN
Samuel Spencer
ARTS
16
Hannah Rose Ewens and Will Davenport
Music Editors
music@roarnews.co.uk
MUSIC
THE HARSH REALITY OF TICKET FRAUD
About a year ago, my sister came back
to our apartment, doubled over in
laughter or tears, I couldnt quite tell.
It was basically the picture of hyste-
ria. So, obviously I was curious and
asked what had happened. Turns out,
she and her friends had bought tick-
ets to see Coldplay that night. Theyd
bought the tickets recently (last min-
ute tickets are expensive, think )
from a secondary site and lo and
behold those tickets were fakes!
They spent their night banging their
heads at a restaurant instead of to
Coldplay. I decided that she was dou-
bled over in laughter, so I joined her.
Well, theres this little thing called
Karma, and we all know how this ar-
ticle is going to go; it involves some-
one getting bitten in the ass (me). I
really wish I hadnt laughed that hard.
Just over a month ago I read that
Kevin Hart was coming to Lon-
don (an amazing comedian, if you
dont know him, YouTubenow).
OIfcial ticket sites were sold out
bummer. But, wait! There were all
these secondary sites promising of-
fcial tickets! What a liIesaver.
So, I got a pair of e-tickets emailed
to me, printed them out and excit-
edly handed my scrunched up paper
to the guy with the magical machine
that zaps it and lets you through.
Thats whats meant to happen.
Imagine how Cinderella would
feel if she transformed back into
her rags, washcloth in hand and all,
before shes meant to, right in the
middle of the ball I could sum up
that feeling in the defeated double
beep of the machine that zapped
my ticket. It was a mix between the
sound of a youre wrong buzzer
on a game show and Voldemorts
wand and I wanted to bang the ma-
chine till it made the happy ping
sound. I was asked to step aside,
please. Thats never good, but I did.
HOW TOreact to realising youve
been sold fake/duplicate tickets:
The only good thing that happened
when I stepped aside was that I
saw I wasnt the only one and that
made me feel a whole lot better. Be-
cause I always expect the worst luck
when it comes to myself, I didnt
take my situation too seriously and
I got to observe others. You could
be in one of two reaction groups:
DENIAL: These people will demand
to see the manager. Who is the man-
ager of a concert or its equivalent?
The performer? The venue manager?
The bouncer? Specify, people! In any
case, theyll stomp and fume till they
get in somehow, and when they real-
ise there is no way that theyre going
to get in, they turn to the person whos
been rejected with them and start
ranting while painfully jabbing them
to emphasise their very logical points.
INNOCENCE: These people will
honestly not realise what has hap-
pened. Honey, what does he mean
we cant go in? The ticketswe
paid for them. Well, it must be a
misunderstandYes, lets go talk
to someone againIm excited to
see the show too! Its a bit sad to
watch, but at least theres hope?
After people went through their
chosen emotional reaction, we were
asked to leave our details/tickets/re-
ceipts etc. so the people who han-
dle things like this` could fle a report
with the police and try to fgure out
what happened. It was like I was
running on autopilot after the Volde-
mort-like buzz of the ticket zapper,
so I left my details, then left myself.
This is what should have happened:
HOW TOcome up with an ideal
conversation that you wish you
could go back in time and carry out:
Hi, Im sorry that your tickets are
fake. Can I get your details please, so
we can help fgure out why all these
fake tickets are being circulated.
Sure! [pass on e-tickets, name,
number etc.]
Great, thank you
No, we are not done! Now you give
me your details!
What
I want you to write me a letter
right now, stating the bar code/serial
number of the tickets I purchased,
and then confrm the Iact that I was
rejected entrance into this event be-
cause of these false tickets. Then, I
want you to sign oII as an oIfcial for
this venue, and give me said letter!
ose are basically the details you
should get straight away, so that
you save yourself a world of pain in
waiting/wondering/constant email-
ing (very, very annoying). It took
over a month for me to get this, but
I eventually did get a refund from
the site I bought my tickets from,
and I thought I would have wanted
someone to tell me all this infor-
mation before, so Im doing it now.
SO: What I would say to you as
some form of advice or help when
youre buying your tickets this year:
WHATEVER YOU DO!...
Dont be lazy and out-of-the-loop
go to the ocial site of the venue,
nd their ocial sellers, know when
tickets are going on sale, or pre-sale,
or even call them up if youre unsure,
and then buy the tickets as early as
you can! Or, maybe you all are already
much, much more intelligent than I
Zahra Mirza
Most discussion on the London
club scene focuses on either the
Mayfair excesses of the citys
young high-earners, or on the un-
derground scene that has proved
to be fertile ground for a bounty
of London born and bred artists.
Little attention is devoted to the
middle-ground that is the territory of
Londons student population; entry
fees under a tenner and cheap drinks.
This is because on the surface it is a
fairly typical student environment.
However, for many people there
is a limit to how many Walk-
ies or Tutus night one can do be-
fore the whole thing becomes a bit
stale, and the opportunities for dif-
ferent experiences are plentiful.
There are a variety of events that are
regular student haunts and that are
heavily bound to a strong drug culture.
At universities such as Newcastle
or in particular Manchester there
are similar opportunities for stu-
dents, but in those cities events re-
volve around students and are set
up so as to best cater their needs.
In London, however, there is a
more mixed array of opportunities.
Fabric, for example, has been running
for years and is a London institution.
It might cost more than your
standard student night but the
quality is almost certainly bet-
ter, and it has unique appeals.
The drug culture is also sprouting
and is an integral part of the student
club culture. In fabric for example
you wont be surprised to see young
people dancing almost in kind of
trance to the music (which itself
contributes to the drug experience).
Ecstasy is the most common meal
of choice, while hashish and weed are
considered more of a casual decision
and not really something that excit-
ing (although good for chill out).
In London, prejudices against the
drug culture exist amongst students,
as it is normal towards any group
different from the norm, but there
is wide spread acceptance of it.
Still social factors dictate that what-
ever is more widespread is consid-
ered less dangerous- like alcohol.
Although with many harmful ef-
fects and far more addictive and life
threatening than weed for exam-
ple, fewer prejudices exist amongst
students against alcohol consump-
tion than against drug usage.
The heavy sounds in Fabric or some
reggae event receive their fnishing
touch from the appropriate medicine.
The usage of the drug contributes
to a wholesome experience, where
the students let go the steam from
their everyday study dominated life,
through socialising and euphoria-
both highly humane acts and states.
As modern society is not particu-
larly well design to give excite-
ment and emotional satisfaction to
people, the drug culture provides
students with an old shamanis-
tic route to Iulflling does needs.
The truth is, that the club scene and
drug culture are one. And although
students are very busy and carry the
yolk of academic study, they are the
most creative and novel part of society.
They need to recharge their inspira-
tion through more stimuli and the
club scene provides a route for that.
Sami Agush and Alex Browne
LONDONS CLUBBING DRUG SCENE
After a long summer of specula-
tive web-murmuring by every click-
monkey in the hype machine, hip-hop
lovers need no longer contemplate
the true identity of Californias
man of mystery, Captain Murphy.
Before Christmas in LA, the anony-
mous rapper stepped out from the
shadows and onto the stage in a se-
quined gold cape and a ski mask.
At the end of his live debut to a sweat-
box of devotees, the hood was thrown
down to reveal the benevolent grin
of a familiar face. And the word was
out: Captain Murphy is Flying Lotus.
The world keeps spinning. What
endures is Duality, the Cap-
tains 15-track debut featuring
guest bars from Earl Sweatshirt
as well as Brainfeeder peripher-
ies, Jeremiah Jae and Azizi Gibson.
Production credits on the tape
boast not only a new swamp of
FlyLo instrumentals, but also
the collected beat-power of
Madlib, Just Blaze and TNGHT.
With a patchwork of audio pinched
from anything from the Heavens
Gate Cult Initiation Tape to the
Simpsons, the tapes backdrop
winds up sounding like some-
thing close to the sound collages
popularised by an early MF Doom.
With the constant re-pitching
on its vocals, the project also
calls to mind Madlibs helium-
huIfng alter-ego Quasimoto.
Like Quasimotos, Captain Murphys
world is a smoked-out cartoon universe
sated with ADD references to every-
thing in the urban nerds imagination:
Streetfghter, Star Wars and Bat-
man are all bases covered here.
Unsurprising given its collaborative
conception, the bars on Duality tend
to thrive in the same lyrical vein as
Odd Future: heavy on sniggering non-
sequiturs and rich in lewd wordplay.
Though often clever, the release
falls short of offering an overarching
theme as everything tumbles down
a rabbit-hole of stoned gimmickry.
Once looped into
the swing of the Captains swag of
seven sailors though, youre un-
likely to notice, less even, care.
In Iairness too, Ellison really fnds
his voice in the dark lyrical universe
of The Ritual, a moody after-party
narrative that rides through moonlit
woods to a carnal sex-rite before an
open fre and a blonde girl whisper-
ing in my ear thats she a virgin.
Crucially too, these macabre fables
are all fed to us over the top of the past
years premium in rap instrumentals.
At the end of Gone Fishing and
Mighty Morphin Foreskin we get
the pleasure of Ellisons crates re-
constituted into short musical af-
terludes, instrumental moments
that borrow heavily from the dark-
er side of seventies psychedelia.
For those looking for stand-outs
though, look no further than Be-
tween Friends, an eerie-beauti-
ful back-and-forth between CM
and Earl Sweatshirt that will stay
with you for the rest of the day.
There`s one fnal cherry on top
of this hip-hop pudding too: Du-
ality is all yours to watch in its
original form in hyperspace, a
cracked-out 35-minute video stream
available over at www.captain-
murphy.xxx Grab a spoon, doopid.
KINGS PRESENTS MISS TERRY BLUE
Interview by Hannah Rose Ewens YOURE ALL FROM LONDON
AND MORE IMPORTANT-
LY, SOME OF YOUR MEM-
BERS ARE FROM KINGS!
Yes, two of us are currently studying
at Kings, the rest all studied at Tech
Music School in West London. Kings
is a great university, because it really
supports the students. At the moment
Tom and Bella have tons of work to
do in their course, but it is manageable
with the help of professors and tutors.
Also Kings organise really cool
events and nights out which is always
fun. I guess its just great to go to a
university which has such a good
reputation all over the world. And the
best thing is you meet so many differ-
ent kind of people, we love the mul-
ticultural atmosphere and diversity.
Thats also true for the band ;) Eng-
lish, Scottish, Russian, Italian,
German...a very international band.
Also our feld trips been amazing,
Tom and Bella had the chance to
go to San Francisco for a week last
December. This was a very inspi-
rational trip...even for our music :)
HOW DID YOU EVENTUALLY
MEET AND FORM AS A BAND?
Weve all come together over the past
couple of years, mainly through stud-
ying music though Tom joined us
later through meeting Bella at Kings.
YOU WON THE UNI LEAGUE
MUSIC COMPETITION LAST
YEAR; CONGRATS! TELL US
WHAT THAT INVOLVED?
Basically, loads of gigs, loads of pro-
motion and loads of fun! It was hard
work, and the other bands were all re-
ally fantastic it was great to hear so
many different kinds of music com-
ing out of Universities in London!
In the end we won a management
deal and an EP production with
Matt Lawrence, an amazing pro-
ducer who worked with artist like
Robbie Williams, Amy Winehouse,
Mumford&Sons....etc. It was such
an amazing experience to be able
to work with someone who has a
lot of experience and contacts in
the music industry. And it seems
like we will be working with him
more on upcoming albums etc.
WHAT WOULD YOU SUGGEST
TO OTHER STUDENTS HOPING
TO COMPETE IN THE COMPE-
TITION? ANY HANDY HINTS?
You need to do something to make
yourselves stick out amongst all
the other bands out there, wheth-
er its giving away stuff, or mer-
chandising or crazy videos or
whatever! People need to want
to listen you and pay attention!
YOUVE PLAYED SOME IM-
PRESSIVE GIGS IN LON-
DON ALREADY. WHERE WAS
YOUR FAVOURITE VENUE?
Oooh, thats tricky! Weve had so
many great gigs at so many good
venues all over London. The Univer-
sity of London Union is a great venue
we really enjoyed playing there
as part of the Uni Music League.
We also had a great gig at Tutus,
for the Kings College Fresher Fair.
Also the O2 Academy in Isling-
ton and Kensington Roof Gardens
were great experiences. Sometimes
it is great to play at a small venue,
for example the Notting Hill Arts
Club, but have such an amazing
crowd, that the atmosphere and the
energy of the gig are just amazing!
WHAT ARE YOUR SONGS
ABOUT? TELL US A FEW
OF YOUR FAVOURITES
WE SHOULD LISTEN TO.
The songs are about many things to do
with the situations or problems in life
that most people can relate to. This
includes for example Love, Going
out, Illness, people and their relation-
ships to each other and to themselves.
Most of our songs are upbeat and up-
lifting, although some are emotional,
but still they are for people to have
fun and enjoy them..so we mostly
show the positive side of things.
Most of the songs encourage you to
enjoy life and make the most out of
the things you experienced in the past.
And of course we love all of our songs
so you should listen to them all!
WE WILL! SO FINALLY, WHAT
CAN WE EXPECT FROM
MISS TERRY BLUE IN 2013?
We just released our new single
Hush on iTunes, Amazon, Spotify
Ior you to download. This is the frst
result of our work with Matt Law-
rence, so have a listen and support us
by downloading it if you like! Also the
new EP is going to be fantastic when
it fnally comes out - keep a look out!
Check out Miss Terry Blue at:
www.facebook.com/MissTerryBlue
www.youtube.com/user/missterryblue
CAPTAIN MURPHY: DUALITY
Will Davenport
17
MUSIC
@roar_news
There is little doubt that in the past
twelve months the UoL spotlight has
been frmly fxed upon Kings music
scene. From the Faustine Buttenshaw
and her adventurous determination to
follow her singing dream, to the KCL
choir who were the only non-Oxbridge
University choir to sing in the Christ-
mas Concert, and, - the crowning
glory on an impressive year - a win at
the Uni Music League by Miss Terry
Blue. With a new EP, Hush, prom-
ised to be released within the next few
months on iTunes and Spotify, lead
vocalist, Bella, and the rest of gang
were eager to catch up with Roar!
and also to encourage oth-
ers to go for the Uni Music
League competition this year.
SO GUYS, DESCRIBE YOUR
SOUND FOR ANYONE READING
WHO HASNT HEARD YOU YET.
We would probably say were a mix
of pop/funk/soul. However, we take
so many different elements from so
many different genres which means
our sound becomes a massive melt-
ing melting pot of styles and sounds.
We have songs using elements
from rock, funk, disco, dubstep,
chillout, Motown everything!
The long running, much laud-
ed musical is fnally on the big
screen. It had to be done. Or did it?
As I watched a melee of Hollywood
stars belt out Schonbergs classics,
concentrating more on their perfor-
mances than the music, I wondered if
it should have been left on the stage.
But the adaptation Tom Hooper has
given us challenged my doubts.
Stunningly flmed with some Iantas-
tic historical verisimilitude to boot,
the flm did not disappoint visu-
ally, and was rounded off by some
truly outstanding performances.
1800s France. In the midst of politi-
cal discontent, Jean Valjean (Hugh
Jackman) is given parole after 20
years behind bars for stealing a loaf
oI bread. Brutal. His oIfcer, Javert
(Russell Crowe), warns him to re-
member him, but a sign of grace from
God causes Valjean to renounce his
former identity and start a new life.
With revolution brewing, Valjean is
constantly looking over his shoul-
der for Jalvert, who is only ever a
step behind him. A dramatic opus of
misery, heartbreak and love ensues.
I genuinely did not think that any-
thing in this flm was going to make
my hairs stand up on end, but Anne
Hathaways rendition of I Dreamed a
Dream... well. Lets just say she cer-
tainly topped SuBo. The relatively
brief period of time that she graced
the screen as Fantine was by far the
most moving sequence oI the flm.
Her saviour, Hugh Jackman also put
in a great performance. He was benev-
olent, he was masculine, and he could
sing his Oscar nod is well deserved.
Another highlight was relative new-
comer Eddie Redmayne, who put
in a stirring performance as Marius,
his temporarily unrequited love
and passion almost palpable. With
him the other revolutionaries atop
of the barricade were an excellent
supporting group. Even Russell
Crowe, who has received less than
favourable feedback on the qual-
ity of his bass, was not all that bad.
Visually, the flm truly triumphs it
is well directed and looks fantastic.
In the opening scene, with a haggard
Jackman tugging at a huge galley
whilst belting out Look Down along
with his fellow prisoners beneath the
authority of Crowe, the toil is palpable.
Later, when revolution kicks in, it feels
as though the barricade has been con-
structed in the cinema. Nineteenth-
century France is reconstructed and
the passion of revolution can be felt
through this whole section oI the flm.
It is only when they start singing that
this feeling is broken by melodrama.
The drama is given comic relief in
scenes featuring the impeccably cast
Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bon-
ham Carter as thieving innkeepers.
The humour may be tame, but
the cinema roared with laughter.
Overall, Les Misrables is well ex-
ecuted and entertaining. Whether
or not it should have been made,
or whether you like the idea of
big-time actors singing at you for
three hours, the theatrical achieve-
ments oI the flm are indisputable.
LES MISERABLES FILMS THE DREAM
Henry Cross
Being a hardcore Lord of the Rings
fan, both my anticipation and stress
for Peter Jackson`s prequel, The
Hobbit had been extremely high.
With holding 17 Oscars and be-
ing placed in Top 30 Highest Rated
Films on IMDB, it is pretty a hard,
demanding and almost impossi-
ble job to create a new trilogy able
to keep up with Lord of the Rings.
Part one of the trilogy, The Hobbit:
An Unexpected Journey, tells the tale
of its eponymous Bilbo Baggins as he
journeys alongside Gandalf the Grey
and a group of dwarves to reclaim
their home on Lonely Mountain.
Some critics claim the many changes
which divide the flm Irom the book
have damaged the storyline and that
the familiar themes and motifs from
Lord of the Rings have only been
recycled. But others praise this as
nostalgia and suggest changes are
crucial to make the book adaptable.
Jackson has been the very frst direc-
tor ever to use 48 fps instead of the
regular 24 Ips. The result is magnif-
cence. Long have I seen flms in poor
3D Iormats have not been able to keep
up with the actions and cause a huge
headache during and after. Jackson`s
new flm is Iairly smooth, watch-
able and pleasurable in 3D. His new
techniques will surely improve the
present and future technology in cin-
ema just like his previous innovations
in Lord of the Rings already have.
Beautiful sceneries in Lord of the
Rings look basic compared to The
Hobbit. Magnifcent cinematog-
raphy and amazing special effects
defnitely pleasure the eye and
make us lose the reality and accom-
pany the characters in Middle-Earth
even more than the frst trilogy.
The Hobbit is fairly faithful to
Tolkien`s book. Vocal music and
folklore songs play powerful parts
in Tolkien`s literature. Unlike, The
Lord of the Rings, Jackson`s The
Hobbit has actually used songs from
the book. The performances are bril-
liant: Martin Freeman as Bilbo shines
during every scene he appears in and
dwarves are dynamic, interesting
characters. Andy Serkis as Gollum is
dazzling as always and it would not
be unfair to say that the best sequence
in the entire flm has been stolen
by Bilbo`s encounter with Gollum.
Watch this flm in the best possible
technological condition, (IMAX at
the BFI like me, if you can!) and enjoy
it without expecting it to be The Lord
of the Rings. Try not to compare it
and take it as a different masterpiece.
THE HOBBIT, LORD OF THE BFI IMAX
Yeganeh Abyare
18
Katie Sinclair
Film Editor
lm@roarnews.co.uk
FILM
This Christmas season, one flm
has divided the audience and the
critics. Nativity 2: Danger in the
Manger (Debbie Isitt) picks up
a loyal audience from its heart-
warming 2009 prequel, Nativity!
Nativity 2 leaves that audi-
ence grinning and full of Christ-
mas spirit, but leaves crit-
ics grumbling like the Grinch.
Donald Peterson takes on a job at a
school with a class that is diIfcult to
handle and a teaching assistant who
is impossible to handle, to support
his pregnant wife. Amongst the chaos
the class convince Donald to let them
participate in a talent show. The day
trip to the show was left unplanned
and a search party goes looking for
the missing class. Mr Petersons wife
is part of the search party and dur-
ing the shenanigans goes into labour;
in a manger (you get the picture!)
It seems though, no-one can deny this
flm oI its humble approach to Christ-
mas - focussing on the real Nativity
story, carol singing and young chil-
dren excited for Christmas. Neither
can one ignore the fact that all the
great things about the frst Nativity
flm are still intact; enthusiastic, child-
ish Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton), all the
young (and super cute) kids and the
fantastic element of improvisation.
The script-less technique has
slightly lost its novelty from the
frst flm but the children`s spon-
taneous actions make for incred-
ible viewing (and the outtakes are
even more hilarious than usual).
The idea of having a modern day
nativity story running through the
plot, adds a clever twist - i.e., teach-
ers wife, Mrs Peterson (Joanna Page)
in labour, on a donkey, following Mr
Poppy who is dressed as a star due
being part of the production, to the
manger. Although, for adult view-
ing, the costumes do seem a little
O.T.T. Indeed, much of the criticism
does seem to be directed against the
more immature aspects oI the flm.
Credit has to be given to David Ten-
nant, who plays twin brothers Donald
(the new teacher) and Roderick Pe-
terson (his successful and obnoxious
twin). It`s not the frst time twins have
been played by one actor (remember
The Parent Trap?) but credit can be
given to Tennant for playing both the
goodie and the baddie brilliantly.
The talented young children also
deserve a special mention as they
are set to be stars of the future.
All in all, this flm may not be techni-
cally brilliant in comparison to other
releases this festive season - but it
makes for fun and uplifting view-
ing, taking viewers young and old
back to the simplicity of Christmas.
In my opinion, a simple story
of good versus evil, character
change, singing and tradition is
all you need at Christmas time.
GREAT EXPECTATIONS
Miss Havisham is one of Dickens
greatest creations. A ghost-like wom-
an in a mildewed wedding dress, she
has captivated readers for over one-
hundred and fIty years. Havisham is
a fgure oI both terror and pure sympa-
thy. She haunts because she is haunt-
ed; she breaks hearts because she is
heartbroken. This is no batty old lady,
but a complex and misguided hu-
man simply hurt by the jilted wed-
ding of her past. Her presence stands
at the heart of Great Expectations
from her lonely mansion, she pulls
the strings of the entire production.
This most recent adaptation, di-
rected by Mike Newell, fundamen-
tally fails to capture the essence of
Miss Havishams character. Helena
Bonham Carter puts in a reasonable
performance as Havisham, but she is
nonetheless miscast. Bonham-Carter
is Tim Burton-weird, not Dickens-
weird. She has just too much def-
ant confdence. II Helena Bonham
Carter met the real Miss Havisham,
shed most likely just straight-talk
her into seeing sense. Shed hand
Miss Havisham a stiff drink and
tell her to move on with her life.
The rest oI the flm is constructed
much like the character of Miss Hav-
isham; safe, but by no means con-
vincing. Conservative production
choices make the performance dull
and trudging. Even the set is quite
uninspiring we only get tiny, tanta-
lising glimpses of Victorian London.
Attractive Jeremy Irvine plays a pass-
able protagonist Pip, rising through
the ranks of society, but he brings
nothing new to the role. Equally,
Holliday Graingers Estella is suit-
ably cold and beautiful, but quite
uninteresting. The two look lovely
together (as proven in the many
tube station posters), but the chem-
istry is non-existent. The will-they-
wont-they routine is merely tedious.
The flm is not without its good
points. Little-known actor Olly Al-
exander is delightful as Pips friend
Herbert, bringing wit and charisma
to a minor persona. The flm is me-
ticulous in its portrayal of the social
life of Victorian Britain highlight-
ing the geographic and class divides
of the age. The fraught relationship
between the gentleman Pip and his
blacksmith friend Joe is displayed
elegantly; we can see the pain on
Joes face when Pip shows heartless
contempt for his manners and class.

Ultimately, Great Expectations
is an ideal school-trip produc-
tion. It deals comprehensively with
plotline and literary themes, but
could have benefted greatly Irom
a more adventurous approach.
NATIVITY 2: DANGER AT THE BOX OFFICE?
Charlotte Woods
It seems impossible to make a flm
with the capacity to explore such
a dense subject as The Impossible
does, to tell the audience a story
about an event so far beyond the
scope of imagination whilst main-
taining its grounding in reality,
the Boxing Day Tsunami of 2004.
The flm begins with a petriIying black
screen and a distant roar of a wave,
immediately paralysing the audience
with a sense of impending doom. Then
we cut to an airplane; in which an or-
dinary family begin what they think
is going to be an ordinary holiday.
Naomi Watts and Ewen McGregor
are two normal parents, with three
sons (Tom Holland, Samuel Joslin &
Oaklee Pendergast), spending Christ-
mas in Thailand. And just as quickly
as their normalcy is established, it is
instantly wiped away when the Tsu-
nami hits. In the wake of the disas-
ter the family is split up, Maria and
Lucas (Watts & Holland) are pulled
away on a journey of survival whilst
Henry (McGregor) is left with two
young sons and a sense of despera-
tion to fnd his wiIe and son whom
he fears he will never see again. The
rest oI the flm portrays the Iam-
ilys struggle to be reunited amongst
the chaos of what is left behind.
Aside from Watts and McGregors
outstanding performances, it was the
young boys, particularly the superbly
talented Tom Holland, who carried
the flm. At the age oI merely sixteen,
Holland managed to fawlessly con-
vey the intense emotional maturation
Lucas goes through when he is thrust
into adulthood by forces far beyond
his control. The make-up and mise
en scne were utterly convincing, if
not thoroughly horrifc at times. The
12A rating became questionable in
the more graphic scenes - director
Bayona (The Orphanage) maintained
the emotional investment in each
character so intensly that the vio-
lence and gore became hard to watch.
The diIIerence between this flm and
other true story narratives with the
backdrop of an imfamous tragedy is
its ability to focus on small details,
gestures and characters whose pres-
ence create the authenticity. Bayona
does not try to tell the whole story
of the Tsunami, nor focus on every-
body trying to survive, but focuses
on the microcosm of one family in
order to suggest that in such deso-
late circumstances one is forced
to rely on those around us. People
might question whether a flm like
The Impossible should have been
made, as if its existence tries to
emblemise the scale of the event.
Instead, I walked away from this
flm with an appreciation Ior the
unlikely compassion in unlikely
circumstances which ultimately
make this flm uniquely human.
THE IMPOSSIBLE
19
FILM
@roar_news
Aoife Dowling
Film Sub-Editor
lm@roarnews.co.uk
Chandni Lakhani
Aoife Dowling
THE HOTS AND NOTS AND ODDS OF 2012
Eva Chaideftos
Fashion & Lifestyle Editor
fashion@roarnews.co.uk
FASHION
HOT! Kristen Stewart:
The fashion muse of 2012 spot-on
every time.
Oh, apart from the time she had an af-
fair. Unless Robs a douche in which
case he deserved it. He probably is.
HOT!Oversize:
One of our favourite trends last
year because it kept us warm and
cozy and made our legs look slim-
mer. Were exstatic that this trend
will still be going strong in 2013.
HOT! Men:
Kristen knows what were talk-
ing about ah jokes, obviously we
mean the increasing popularity of
menswear (the Guardian termed it
the rise of the fashionisto) fol-
lowed up by the frst ever Men`s
Fashion Week in London last June.
Were looking forward to more!
NOT! Kim Kardashian +
style:
WHERE to start the Givenchy boots?
The baggy leather trousers? The neon
green baby doll dress? The cut-out crop
top with see-through skirt ensemble?
She still gets cred for her ass though.
New Year, New You! Roar! has
picked out the best trends of
the new season for you. Enjoy!
1. Brush up on your geometry: At
the Louis Vuitton SS13 show, a clear
fashion statement was being made.
As models descended down futuristic
escalators onto the runway the pres-
ence of geometry took center stage.
Checkered playsuits and jackets stood
out, and offered a refreshing change
to the design houses usually feminine
aesthetic. The structure of the mid
length dresses and jackets were genius.
LV not only brought the 60s back
with its Mod infuences in this
show, but made it modern and fresh.
The sleek proportions and amaz-
ing patterns are very 2013,
so brace yourselves for the
hunt for anything geometric.
2.Think big: With Jil Sanders return to
her eponymous design house founded
in 1973 many in the Iashion commu-
nity were waiting with baited breath.
Would she be able to top her pre-
decessor? Would her designs bring
something new to the table? The
answer was a unanimous yes.
Sander maintained the foating and
minimalistic quality that her brand has
come to represent, but she also brought
something new to the fashion world.
Blown up proportions was the stand
out element oI the show. With infated
bell sleeves and extremely full skirts
the show was a complete success.
Sander knows how to run a show,
and perfectly offset her over-
sized proportions with a sleek
low ponytail and light make up.
After seasons and seasons of body
skimming clothing being shown on
the high street, Jil Sander`s SS13
collection revolutionizes how we
think about shape. Go big in 2013!
3. Be sweet: Which Iashionista
among us can honestly say that Ox-
ford Street, and in particular Top-
shop does not constitute a must-
stop during a shopping-spree?
The shop is organized differently eve-
ry time and the stock changes regularly
to bring us small surprises on each trip.
The past few weeks have witnessed de-
signs contrasting to their usual looks,
especially grunge, mod and minimal.
Pastel colours, from light mauve, sky
blue, and mint green seem to dominate
section after section of the shop and
has brought a new lightness and care-
free element to the new collections.
Keep an eye out for lace eyelet crop
tops, high silk shorts in lavender, and
a beautiful light blue overcoat. An-
other standout is a Chanel inspired
ROAR!S FAVOURITE 2013 TRENDS
Rachel Hummel
THE HOTS AND NOTS AND ODDS OF 2012
Kristin Freeman
21
LIFESTYLE
@roar_news
This is a great alternative to cheese-
cake. I served mine in individual
ramekins but its also great served
in one big bowl everyone can help
themselves to!
Serves 8
For the biscuit base:
9oz/ 225g digestive bis-
cuits
2 tbs cocoa powder
6oz/150g butter
For the mousse:
8oz/200g dark chocolate,
chopped
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 tbs water
1oz/25g butter, diced
3 eggs, separated
tsp cream of tartar
2oz/50g caster sugar
4 f oz/ 125 ml double
cream
Fresh fruit such as rasp-
berries or strawberries, to
decorate (optional)
1) Firstly make the biscuit base: Melt
the butter gently over a low heat.
Meanwhile place the digestive bis-
cuits in a freezer bag, or any other bag
to hand, and bash the biscuits with a
rolling pin until they resemble fne
bread crumbs.
Tip the biscuit crumbs into a bowl
and sieve in the cocoa powder, stir to
combine.
Once the butter is melted stir into the
biscuit crumbs until everything is
thoroughly mixed together.
Divide the biscuit mixture between
eight individual glasses or ramekins.
Allow to cool slightly before putting
in the fridge to set.
2) Secondly make the mousse: Melt
the chocolate, vanilla extract and wa-
ter together in a saucepan over a low
heat, stirring every now and then un-
til the mixture is smooth. Take off the
heat and stir in the butter. Next beat
in the egg yolks one by one, making
sure they are well mixed in. Leave to
cool whilst you prepare the rest of the
ingredients.
3) Whisk the egg white until they Iorm
soft peaks (test this by making peaks
on the surface of the egg whites; they
should be just thick enough to only
just hold their shape but the mixture
would fall out of the bowl if you
tipped it above your head!)
Add the cream of tartar and a spoon-
ful of the caster sugar.
Whisk until sugar and cream of tartar
are mixed in.
Continue whisking, adding a spoon-
ful of caster sugar at a time, until all
the sugar is incorporated and the egg
whites form stiff peaks (this is when
you can hold the bowl above your
head and none of the mixture will
drop out-this is a fun trick to play on
housemates)
Beat a few tablespoons of this into the
chocolate mixture.
4) In another bowl whisk the
cream to soIt peaks (see tip in step 3).
Add the cream and the rest of the egg
whites to the chocolate mixture.
Use a large metal spoon or a spatula
to fold the egg whites and the cream
into the chocolate mixture until all
ingredients or thoroughly combined.
Spoon the mixture on top of the bis-
cuit bases, cover each individual glass
or ramekin with cling flm and chill in
the Iridge Ior a minimum oI 3 hours.
5) Decorate with fresh fruit
and grated white chocolate or just eat
simply as it is. Enjoy!
CHOCOLATE MOUSSE CAKE RECIPE
NOT! Kim Kardashian +
style:
WHERE to start the Givenchy boots?
The baggy leather trousers? The neon
green baby doll dress? The cut-out crop
top with see-through skirt ensemble?
She still gets cred for her ass though.
ROAR!S FAVOURITE 2013 TRENDS
boxy short blazer in white. This
will go beautifully with any item
of clothing really, but it will espe-
cially compliment light pastel hues.
With a lot of Londons predomi-
nant street style focusing on edgier
looks lately, you will defnitely
stand out if you indulge your sugar
craving with some sweet pastels.
4. Kinky knickers: Mary Por-
tas newest addition to her
Shop British campaign is the
new line of Kinky Knickers.
Handmade by a team of specially
trained lace-making apprentices, they
are created Irom the fnest Nottingham
lace, and designed to be not only com-
fortable and VPL-free, but super sexy!
With the new line said to feature a
fabric made with anti-cellulite quali-
ties, and each pair beautifully pack-
aged with a secret message hidden in
the gusset, these are a fashion must!
Available largely at department stores,
but also at ASOS where you can get
some student discount on these babies!
What can be hotter than
a pair of kinky knickers?
Hmm...the
Pyjama
Party
Trend:
A fashion state-
ment if there ever
was one, and it
does look amaz-
ing but only
against an haute
couture backdrop.
In the club, not-so-
much.
WE LIKE PRETAPORTOBELLO
To all lovers of fashion, if you have
not yet discovered pretaportobello.
com, then it is about time that you
do. A great place to look for some-
thing different to what the high
street has to offer, Pretaportobello
has a truly stunning range of clothes
and accessories ranging from vin-
tage to hip, and casual to super chic.
As a stockist of the coolest inde-
pendent brands and designers, pre-
taportobello.com is defnitely the
place to go if you want to set your-
self apart. Prices are student friend-
ly, partly due to the greatest feature
of the website: the haggle-option!
This allows the buyer to literally hag-
gle, yes, you saw right, HAGGLE
for a better deal instantly on selected
items! Fashion miracles do occur!
Alongside their quirky and eclectic
fashion collections, there is a guide
to the must-see markets in Lon-
don e.g. Portobello and Spitalfelds.
So it is now time to wean your-
selves off Topshop (it might be dif-
fcult, but let`s Iace it- their prices
are painfully tear-jerking) so just
have one look at this website and
you will understand just why it is one
of the best fashion websites around.
Hmm...
Creepers:
Are you brave
enough to sport
these oddly
named crea-
tures? Were
not... or are we?
#confused
Sophie Hutchings
Sneha Choudhury
KCL VOLLEYBALL REACHES NEW HEIGHTS
KCLRFC - FIRST TEAM NEW YEAR WRAP UP
22
Liam Jackson
Sports Editor
sports@roarnews.co.uk
SPORT
Jake Seeds
After what has been a testing
start to the season for KCLR-
FC, we are heading into the New
Year with an optimistic attitude.
Last season did not end as many
would have hoped. Our 1st XV suf-
fered league relegation after gain-
ing promotion the previous year, in
what was a testing season in a very
competitive and physical league.
This was made even harder to swal-
low by the bitter defeat in The Lon-
don Varsity match at the hands of
UCLRFC, a match which for many
will be remembered only for bad
behaviour in the crowd, under-
staIfng and overexcited mascots.
We also said goodbye to several of
our best players, but fortunately
there was a good intake of fresh-
ers, several of whom have stepped
up to the plate and are now regular
fxtures on the 1st XV team sheet.
The season has started fairly well:
the 1st XV currently sit 3rd in their
league, just 2 points behind the
front runner after 4 wins, 1 draw
and 2 losses. The 2nd XV are hav-
ing a slightly harder time in their
league, recording 3 league and cup
wins, 1 draw and 3 deIeats; they
can however take encouragement
from some extremely spirited perfor-
mances towards the end of last term.
The 1st XV are also looking to capi-
talise on their success so far, with
all minds Iocused frmly on win-
ning the league, and thus securing
promotion back into a league we all
feel we can compete and excel in.
The on-pitch highlight of the season
so far was without a doubt was the
outstanding home victory against
our good friends UCLRFC on 5th
December. For the majority of the
squad picked to play, the memory of
the Varsity defeat was fresh in our
minds, and we were determined not
to allow a repeat on our home patch.
The morning of the match arrived,
and most team members went
through their usual pre-match ritu-
als at home that all rugby players
undertake: putting on socks in slow
motion while listening to the Gladi-
ator soundtrack or watching the
2003 World Cup Final and drink-
ing protein shake. We were ready.
However, South West Trains had
slightly different ideas. Im not
sure if you remember but that
week saw temperatures of as low
as 2 degrees centigrade, which as
we all know is the temperature at
which all public transport and ra-
tional thought in the UK stops.
After a good deal of waiting at Wa-
terloo, including consultation with
UCLRFC, some of whom suggest-
ed calling off the match (a sign of
things to come) we managed to ar-
rive at our destination on a delayed
train after the driver made an un-
scheduled stop at Berrylands station.
Despite this small hurdle on our path
to glory we maintained our motiva-
tion. Kick off arrived and what fol-
lowed was 80 minutes of some of
the fnest rugby in the history oI the
game, which made Englands recent
victory over the All Blacks look like
a Sunday league 5-a-side match.
Despite several injuries, KCL mount-
ed a sustained attack against the op-
position, dominating the break down
and contact area. The frst score
came aIter the KCL fy-halI Bar-
ney Lynock suffered a serious head
injury, only to carry on and dance
through the UCL line to score under
the posts. He subsequently left the
feld to be assessed Ior concussion, but
returned to the feld shortly thereaIter.
In his intervening absence, UCL con-
ceded a kickable penalty, which was
taken, in lieu of a kicker by an over con-
fdant King`s Number 8 Tim Tawcett.
Needless to say, the kick missed by
a country mile, but to the surprise
of UCL, and Fawcett, it was fol-
lowed up by a gazelle-like chase
by KCL second rower Deji Ath-
leticism Olonilua, who gathered
the ball and touched it down before
the unbelieving eyes of the opposi-
tion, the result of what transpired
to be a deft assist from the kicker.
Despite conceding a try in our cor-
ner and a penalty try from a scrum,
KCL fought back, kicking two pen-
alties and scoring another try in the
last minutes of the game thanks to
scrum half Will Messi Gibson, af-
ter a kick was charged down lead-
ing to a well deserved 25-12 win.
Other highlights include KCL winger
Joe Calnan-Son breaking down in
tears after an altercation with our
captain Stu Cook regarding the
referee, which resulted in Calnan-
Son being sent to bed early af-
ter the match with no pudding.
The stand out player was by
far and away James Slytherin
Dixon, who was everywhere,
and yet nowhere, throughout.
Despite a deal of uncertainty regard-
ing the future of The London Varsity
and some off the pitch disciplinary
issues, KCLRFC is relishing the
possibilities of the year ahead and
will continue to focus on improving
its rugby and representing the Col-
lege at the highest possible level.
Sharon Poon
So, just after the Christmas holidays,
what good news has KCL Volleyball
got for you all? Plenty. For a starter,
if you didnt already know, our mens
team made it to the fnals oI the Vol-
leyball England Student Cup.
They played four matches in one
day and completely smashed them
all. Okay it sounds quite easy like
that, but take into account that they
were on a train at the ungodly hour
of 6:45am on a Saturday, youve
got to admit thats quite impres-
sive. If you think thats all in
terms of us winning, think again.
Our womens team is sailing through
the season without losing one single
match in league 1A. Yes I hear you
ask how are we doing in compari-
son with UCL? A lot better would
be an understatement. We played
them twice so far and won both
matches with ease and in style. Just
look at our brand new proper Ital-
ian kits, not going to show you a
photo but UCL was wearing these
strange purple t-shirts Just saying.
Enough bragging, parties are what
we can also show our squad is really
about. We had our annual Christmas
party not long ago in totally club-of-
the-year-style. It happened on one
cold winter Friday night, in an actu-
ally kind oI nice council estate fat.
All our players let their hair down
(literally, well maybe except Ana)
and mingled with the rest of the club.
Oh I forgot to mention, we also
have a bunch of keen volleyballers
who do not enjoy walking over the
defeated opponents as much as the
frst team do and only play Ior Iun.
They do it every Wednesday near
Shoreditch, if you are one of them,
hurry up and join us! Anyway, as
per usual people dont remember too
much from the party. But according
to oIfcial records it was on Irom
7pm to 6am, with plenty of food and
drinks. We are probably the only
house party throwers that provide
you with absolutely delicious stuffed
mushrooms, chicken stew with rice
and fresh fruit soaked in vodka
There were lots of chatting, drinking
games, music playing, dancing and
some sort of hooking ups as we all
know. But the night came to life with
highlights such as our (self-proclaim-
ing almost 30 but more like 50) coach
going down on his knee to propose
to our super hot women`s captain, ft-
ting God knows how many people on
a bed and eventually breaking it (sor-
ry Alex) and plenty of lost/unclaimed
clothes. Textbook awesome party.
If you are feeling gutted that you
miss out on so much volleyball
goodness, come to us when youre
back from your warm homes next
term. We will show you the wonder-
ful volleyball world and take you
to this pub that has amazing pizza
and beer, promise. Happy New Year
KCL! Hope you havnt eaten too
much otherwise you cant jump
23
SPORT
@Liam_SportRoar
KCL KINETIC FITNESS CLUB
- REDUCED MEMBERSHIP
Liam Jackson
What is Kinetic? - Here at Kinetic
Fitness Club, we offer you high qual-
ity equipment, exciting classes and
great facilities all at student friendly
prices that are open to everyone.
With our modern cardio and lift-
ing equipment (our treadmills
have TVs on them) as well as an
extensive calendar of classes for
people of all abilities, we have
something for you whether youre
going Ior a ftness goal or simply
want to wear short shorts in public.
Where is Kinetic? - Were located just
by Waterloo campus, thats just 10
minutes from both Strand and Guys
campuses! So come down, meet
our friendly staff and give it a go!
What are the prices? - Currently the
New Year offer is at only 99 for a
six month membership, so if you
have had to many mince pies this
Christmas, or you want to tone up
for that summer beach holiday that
seems to be ever more quickly creep-
ing up, Kinetic gym is the place to go.
How to contact - For more infor-
mation, follow us on Twitter at: @
kclsukinetic or hnd out all the in-
formation on opening times and daily
classes on the Facebook page and
online through the kclsu homepage.
To telephone, call (020) 7848 4650.
Liam Jackson
Friday aIternoon, coach meet at fve
oclock, that means ski bag, back pack
and rucksack all competing with the
onslaught of angry commuters, a
long week at work to be greeted on
the tube with a six foot bag wield-
ing student, clotheslining apologeti-
cally to anyone within the vicinity.
The coach to Dover has a buzz of
anticipation in the air, meeting new
faces, a whole week of no university
and dreary London.The rules were
tight, NO ALCOHOL ON THE BUS,
this was a lesson well learnt in pre-
vious years, people too inebriated
to make it onto the ferry, the titanic
fanatics whose enactment goes horri-
bly wrong over the English Channel.
The ferry itself was a student only
crossing, keeping all the nutters on
one ship away from the normal peo-
ple, the queue for the bar being nearly
as long as the queue to get into the duty
free for the week ahead. The mood
was briefy dampened by the cross-
ing itself. The deck strewn with the
unfortunate who hadnt brought their
sea legs, green in the face, the braver
were sipping their pints as the boat
churned under the heavy waves, rock-
ing people like crabs from side to side.
The trip through France is always
much quieter, most fall asleep,
with the few sneaky ones who had
brought a few snipples of juice
onto the forbidden murmuring
and giggling away into the night.
The highlight of the trip there is
the supermarket at the bottom of
the mountains, the French delica-
cies on display from the fois gras
to the patisseries, boulangeries and
not forgetting the two euro litre
wine that can be as tasteflling than
any top shelf retailer in England.
All packed up you leave the motor-
way behind and head up the Alps into
the snow laden mountains and snaky
bends. After a good 20 hour travel you
arrive in resort, brimming with skiers
and boarders alike, milling around,
a feel of a good Winter holiday.
The room allocation is next, you
straight away feel you may be get-
ting that bit closer to your friends this
week by the study size space, with
this being the last time you see the
foor. A quick Iair process oI pick-
ing the shortest straw led to beds be-
ing given. To some such as JJ Shaw
and Ben Brown who snuggled on
the sofa, they had a week of having
as much sleep as the last man stand-
ing and the earliest riser. Every room
needs a clean freak and a keen cook,
ours was in the form of Nick Morris
and Josh Burns, Nick being the only
man who could complain about the
state of the toilet and mess even when
on slope, with Josh showing us how
hotdog sausages with cheese on pasta
can really be eaten six nights in a row.
Wasting no time in our cellar, the skis
were on and thus came that frst hour
were it all seems a little unfamiliar,
after a few face plants and wayward
skis the feeling comes back, ready
for another week in the perfect condi-
tions of Val Thorens.The sun was out
for a full two days, the snow was thick
and soft and the extra ski pass of Les
Trois Valles, the largest range in the
world, led to the week being frst class.
There were enough pistes to keep
you skiing on new snow for weeks,
with neighbouring resorts of Meri-
bel and Courcheval having some
breathtaking tree runs as well as
various snowparks for the am-
bitious or for a good spectacle.

Anyone who has ever been on a stu-
dent ski trip or any busy resort knows
the fun doesnt stop in the afternoon,
a trip to folie douce, by far the most
hedonistic place upwards of 2000m.
The wooden shack at the end of the
ski liIt is ftted with subwooIers that
make you wonder the increased ava-
lanche risk. Firebrather, dancers and
the personal favourite of champagne
showers took place for hours, the
party starting at 2pm and fnishing in
the dark. Mulled wine, whisky warm-
ing hip fasks and dancing on tables
to catchy euro trance results in a haz-
ardous and playful ten minutes skiing
down the slopes back to the hotels.
A quick few hours nap and then the
nights start with a good old student
pasta concoction and a bit of hair
of the dog as you mix cramp with
that empty hipfask you thought
was a good idea on the slopes.

The night starts, hundreds of students
all dressed from elves to umpa lump-
as, togas to animal onesies. The de-
bauchery begins! Its the well known
presumption that when people leave
the country, the wildness seems to
kick in, the extra height above sea lev-
el puts the hormones into overdrive
and the lust from that 50 Shades of
Grey that everyone has been reading
for the last year seems to be released!
As a believer of not naming and
shaming people in the paper, a cer-
tain CompSci student was the leader
in his rendition of the famous Casa-
nova, his smoothness now seeked
widely around the world for his hid-
den techniques in the art of seduction.
There was no time for romance in
some peoples rooms, ours contain-
ing eight lads who were not for hav-
ing their sleep taken away from them.
Playing Marvin Gayes classic Lets
Get It On through the speakers quick-
ly dissipitated the frolics between a
roommate and his new found love.
The reps on the trip were your port
of call, whether it was a lost ski
pass, a drunken friend or just a
friendly face, making the trip that
bit safer and more heartening than
having to deal with the gendome,
whose pet hate it tourists, espe-
cially ones from across the channel!
So if you havnt yet expereienced the
brilliance of a ULU ski trip, whether
it be your frst time or to improve your
skills, or even to do more partying
than skiing, this is the place to come.
There is currently an Easter trip
planned by NUCO travel to Les
Arcs for only 329. For more in-
formation go onto the ULU Fa-
cebook page for more details.
THE ULU SKI TRIP - SUN,
SNOW AND STUDENT DEBAUCHERY

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