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Relationship Advice For Women By Experts in the fields of Love, Romance and Relationships. Those goals, objectives, relationships, and lifestyles that we believe enrich our human experience and will prove to be enduring require substance.

Wishful Thinking And The Your Starting Point Because Powerful Act of Believing It Does Have Value
Source: http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/wishfulthinking-and-the-powerful-act-of-believing/

Let The Wishful Thinking Be

by Pam Reaves Wishful thinking is exactly that a desire, longing, fancy, or inclination. Although there is nothing wrong with wishing for things, the act of wishing can easily be reduced to impulse or that which is fickle having little to no substance. Wishful thinking is the pleasing thoughts we entertain about what might be or what might have been rather than truths known to be evident. However, wishful thinking can never be measured against the powerful act of believing.

Wishful thinking is the planted seed, and we should never discount the dream. However, in order to bring that which you desire to fruition, you must move beyond the wishing part, and that takes power. The empowerment component of wishful thinking is belief. The mere mention of the word believe elicits attention, credibility, and a call to action because your belief in who you are and what you are capable of will unleash the power within. The power of belief is the fuel that moves you forward closer to the goal post. It is the energy that sparks the interest which escalates to passion. When we believe in something, we have faith, we are confident about the direction we are moving in or plan to move in, and we make our belief superior to any roadblocks, challenges, or other hindrances. Is it any wonder that things, people, or movements deemed spiritual, supernatural, or phenomenal involve the act of faith? Anyone who defies the odds, accomplish great feats, or achieve what seems impossible will tell you that achieving greatness, beating the odds, changing the course of history, or breaking ties with old habits and destructive behaviors requires the powerful and humbling exercise of faith. To believe is to accept that which you want, desire, or long for as your absolute truth.
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With faith come your confidence, conviction and trust. When you are working with these components, you are willing to think and operate outside of the box. Acts of faith drive you to take courageous steps, unlike feelings of uncertainty which will cause you to falter. You will be willing to fight for your convictions, and will not let external forces that sow seeds of doubt, create distractions, or put up roadblocks at every turn discourage you from moving forward. You should be the one who assigns value to your vision, objectives, and goals not external forces (e.g. negative people, systems, or cultures). When your vision, objectives, and goals remain wishful thinking, you are not inspired, motivated, or committed to taking the necessary action to gallantly move into the substantive realm of belief. So your self-esteem becomes deflated because the intended purpose has not been fulfilled. Remaining in the state of wishful thinking can be disappointing and faced with these disappointments we start to question our desires and longings for certain things in life or relationships with certain people. Unsure of ourselves, we start thinking there is something wrong with what we want. We may interpret the failure as meaning the things or relationships we want are of no value to anyone else. In this state, we may even fall into the trap of self-debasement feeling undeserving of the things we wish for. The issues may not be that we did something wrong, the things or relationships we pursue are of no value, or that we are undeserving. The problem may lie in a lack of faith, low self-esteem, and not understanding the difference between wishful thinking and believing.

This state of hallucination, optical illusion, or delusion will hold you captive to wanting certain things, experiences, or relationships, but never having them; reaching for whatever it is that you want out of life, but never connecting with the Higher Power, any resource, or any person who can help with or make the connection for you; or being controlled, rather than controlling your environment. Ask yourself whether or not you remained stuck in the wishful thinking mode, or did you move into the realm of belief and behave as if that which you want, desire, or long for is your absolute truth your reality. The realm of belief brings the substantive concepts of conviction, principle, and certainty into play. The seeds of wishful thinking become fertile when you water them generously with acts of faith, starting with faith in Who Created you and what He created you for. Teach people to believe in you by believing in yourself. When you stand on conviction, principle and certainty, you make certain things happen and you attract certain types of people. Everyone may not agree with your beliefs (perfectly fine), but they will respect you, and being treated with respect is an awesome feeling. Conviction, principle, and certainty are valuable assets that attract opportunities, experiences, and relationships that contribute to the enriched, fulfilling and well-lived life. ACCEPT THAT WHICH YOU WANT, DESIRE, OR LONG FOR AS YOUR ABSOLUTE TRUTH. From Sarah: Pam Reaves is an amazing coach, and has a tremendous track record helping clients get healthy and happy human experiences in life and love. We truly want to recommend her coaching and her wonderful, powerful book Is It LoveOr Merely a Sick Attachment? Pam is no-nonsense, and breaks down big, important relationship concepts into direct, straight-shooting, tell-thehard-truth real help for you (just like her book title). Go here to check out Pams coaching and Is It Love>>

Turn Your Moments Of Disappointment Into Periods Of Reflection And Self-Evaluation

Consider if the disappointing outcome is because you remained in a state of wishful thinking or submitted to forces that keep you wishfully thinking, rather than moving into the realm of belief. To remain in the state of wishful thinking can be compared with a mirage. In this state you want things, experiences, or relationships that are no more than hallucination, optical illusion, or delusion.

To discover ancient Vedic and shamanic tools to assist you in taking back your power and reclaiming yourself so you can move on and have the life you really want (and not have some guy its never going to work with holding you back like a dead weight), check this out. If youve ever felt confused because a man came on like proverbial gang busters and then withdrew as soon as you gave him your heart, youre not alone. I think its probably happened to almost every woman on the planet at some time or another. This letter from a reader is typical of what women share with me about this **************

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A Letter From Haunted by a Relationship

Dear Carol,

A Reader Confusing

If You Have A Soul Tie To A Man

a-soul-tie-to-a-man/

Source: http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/if-you-have-

Do you ever hear from men from a past relationship and think it means something, well, BIG? Like that maybe hes missing you maybe hes coming back or maybe you can start again? Has it kept you from moving on from a dead or PAST relationship, even though there was no reason to hope things would ever be good again? When you love a man, or even sleep with a man, you form a soul tie to him that can connect you even when you dont want it to But there are powerful, spiritual ways to break such a connection and get your very heart and soul back.

I became romantically involved with a coworker friend almost two years ago. Initially I wasnt attracted to him but over time and his continued persistence, I grew to like him. I finally responded to his romantic advances and fell in love and felt that he was the one. However, just as all my defenses came down and I professed my feelings (which he did as well) all of a sudden over the last few months hes gone cold and withdrawn and Im feeling hurt and confused. I also noticed that he was communicating with another female at work and my intuition is telling me that hes involved with her although he claims hes not. Ive tried very hard to get over him but just when I think Ive mastered this, Ill get an unexpected email or a phone call from him and all my defenses come down. Im very much confused by his behavior and am not sure what to do. Im not sure where I went wrong. Any advice? Thanks much, Eva ************ My Reply: Dear Eva, Ouch! Bummer the old, He had to have you, until he had you routine.
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Let me briefly recap: 1. You were friends with this guy and not attracted to him. 2. He made lots of overtures, and wore you down over time. 3. Just as you got close and opened up, he shut down. 4. Hes now withdrawn and cold, and flirting with other women under your nose. And you want to know what you did wrong It sounds to me like the only thing youve done wrong is to think this is all because of something youve done wrong! Heres the deal love takes risk. Theres never any guarantee that a man will return your feelings or love you, even if he says he does and even if hes said it over and over for years. At some point you have to throw caution to the wind and say, You know what? This is worth a try. But that might mean youll get squished. That might mean hell change his mind. Or you wont really connect deeply. Or the chemistry will be off. Or any number of possible outcomes. One of those possible outcomes happened here. You just dont know which. Its great youre trying to look at your part and learn what you can do better. I applaud you for taking stock of your side of the relationship and wanting to know all you can about your side of things. But you can make yourself nuts with wondering such things So stop wondering. Find out from the only person that does know what happened. Ask the man! Heres what Id do if I were you. Id be as upbeat and friendly as possible. Id invite him out for coffee. Once youre having a nice time out in a public setting, let him know that his friendship is important and that you want to be able to continue to work together without things being awkward.

Then let him know youve been confused about how things seemed to fall apart and ask him if theres anything you couldve done differently to make a different outcome happen between you. Did you offend him? Did you hurt his feelings and not know it? Or was it just that he was more in love with the chase than the capture? One of two things will happen. Hell either actually answer your questions so you can move on at last Or, he wont be man enough to tell you anything and it will be a very awkward coffee date. Which is totally great, because either way you win. If he lets you in on his process, you can finally know what went wrong and make peace with it all. If he doesnt answer you, then youll know hes a wimpy boy who isnt capable of a real relationship with a real woman, anyway, and that hes not healthy enough to honor your feelings and meet your needs. If you cant possibly take him to coffee and ask him anything about what went wrong (and would rather throw yourself under a moving bus), then you may want to go get some assertiveness training or therapy. Im not kidding! But really, the truth is, you already do know all you need to know. Hes not showing up for you and your relationship the way that you need him to and hes not being an emotionally mature grown up and letting you know why. Which should disqualify him from being the one immediately!

The Final Catch at the End of a Relationship So heres the part I really dont like: just as you start to move on he calls or emails you. And then, I gotta be honest here you ARE doing something VERY wrong! The thing you definitely ARE doing wrong is letting that his measly phone call or (cue the gagging sound here) email lower all of your defenses.

My dear, at this point it should take a big, fat diamond ring, a huge apology, and a fireworks display that writes your name in the sky in a huge red heart to lower all make that ANY of your defenses! A phone call or email from time to time isnt a big deal. In fact, I wouldnt get excited about it at all. In my experience of working with women and their relationships for almost two decades, Ive seen something fascinating MEN DO NOT GO QUIETLY. Even when theyre the one that doesnt want the relationship and rejects you! Its uncanny they pop in and check on you once in a while, perhaps out of guilt, perhaps to keep your attention, perhaps to torment you, perhaps because they want to stay your friend, who knows? Ive seen this happen so often, in fact, that I now tell a woman as soon as she informs me that a man shes been seeing has ended things. I say, Oh, be careful. Hell stay in your orbit. Men do not go quietly so dont think that it means anything. It simply means nothing more than that they dont go quietly But its not enough to get so excited about. Think about it: its easy to call or email someone. Very. Its really NOT a generous, intimate gesture on his part. So you need to take care of yourself, because clearly hes not taking care of you. And that means if its too painful for you to be in contact with him (you thought he was the one, after all!) ask him to stop contacting you. Theres one other thing youre doing wrong Youre hoping hell be back. Otherwise hearing from him wouldnt make you so upset and vulnerable! The fact that hes being cold and letting you wonder why he went away, and keeping you on a shelf while he pays other women attention right in front of you AGAIN tells you all you need to know hes not worthy of your love or ready for a real relationship. And thank your lucky stars you found out If you need more help understanding men and their mysterious ways, then I encourage you to check out

my eBook, Love Is in the Stars the Wise Womans Astrological Guide To Men. In it, I tell you exactly how to recognize if a man is relationship material and ready for love. I share six simple questions to assess a mans emotional maturity so that you never give your heart to a man not able to care for it again. I tell you how to recognize if a man is a good man or if hes astrologically afflicted so you can STOP making so much effort with those who arent worth your time and attention. Please stop thinking, like Eva above, that if your relationship with such a man doesnt work out that its ALL YOUR FAULT. And my God and His planets and stars shower you with love! With love, Carol Allen From Sarah: We LOVE Carol here because her Right Man Report is so totally amazing and so completely helpful! It helped me absolutely understand whats going on between my man and me, and it made me feel SO much better. Not only does Carol lay out the dynamics of whats going on with you and ANY man she tells you exactly what to DO about it. Just go here to get her free newsletters and benefit your next relationship ->

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Do You Really Want Love?

Source: http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/do-youreally-want-love/

by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna The Choice Live A Chosen Life We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love. Bhagwan We all want love. But when we get it, we ofen become afraid and start to run in the opposite direction. On the one hand, we are searching for love, searching for some lasting relationship. On the other hand, we are relieved when the person goes away. Why?

It always seems as if relationships are difficultdifficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love. Love is our natural condition. Once we know what love truly is, we see that being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. Being in love immediately dispels the sense of purposelessness and disconnection that many grapple with. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love. The real question now is, how can we reclaim our precious heritage, welcome love and the people who come to us, no matter who they are. Then we return to the intrinsic wisdom and spontaneity we had as children, when all of life was worth living, and we couldnt wait to live each day. as we do so, it becomes natural to suspend judgment, to explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities-which it is, once you are willing to see it that way. Unfortunately, however, most of us become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, most of us dont feel naturally entitled to the same fulfillment in love. This is considered natural as one grows up and gives up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But nothing could be further from the truth. It is the fantasies, foolishness, and confused expectations we develop as we grow older that create our loneliness. It is our confusion about what love is that keeps it out of our lives and hearts. Contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused demands and negative beliefs and expectations that lead us to painful consequences. There is a famous saying Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you. But most of us have little idea what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships. Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. Otherwise, we live in a prison of our own
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The usual answer to this question is that there are no good men or women around. No matter who we meet, something is wrong. No matter what kind of relationship we develop, something starts to go awry. In the beginning we may feel we have finally found the perfect person. Then before we know it, often out of the blue, conflict develops, irritation grows. Joy, pleasure and excitement, the feeling of being loved and valued, fade imperceptibly. Most people have no idea why this happens. When some individuals have bitter or disappointing experiences in love, they shut down and become determined not to let it happen again. They grow numb and hardened, looking past a person when they meet. As soon as someone tries to make contact, they run a million miles away.

making. The fact of the matter is, however, we can make new choices at any moment. We can learn to let go of negativity and open our hearts and mind. Falling in love with life doesnt mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. It means not only falling in love with life itself, but letting life fall in love with you. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. Hungry Ghosts Hungry ghosts are individuals who cannot be satisfied. Even though they are led to tables spread with endless food and precious delights, no matter how much they eat they never feel full. They arent able to taste the food, dont know how to digest it, and no matter how much they put in their mouths, continue to search for more. Hungry ghosts might sample one relationship after the next, not knowing how to digest it. They never know who the person is in front of them, or who they are themselves. All they know is that they want more and more. They fantasize that someone else, the perfect person, is about to walk in the door. Then, they will be able to love. Certain hungry ghosts appear available for love, but they are really only intent on seducing and teasing the people they find. Their pleasure is in rejection, in withdrawing the love they seemed to provide. These individuals may go to parties, looking for love and scan the room and then immediately say, Theres no one here tonight. They cannot taste, digest or be satisfied with that which life presents. In terms of relationships, they go around and around on the merry go round, grabbing for the gold ring, always just beyond their grasp, or, if they do catch it, they soon discover, to their horror, that it is not true gold, but brass. All of this is exhausting, and disheartening and makes the hungry ghosts very sad. Even when they are with someone they love, they are often haunted by the notion that their true soul mate is somewhere else, eluding them. This painful affliction, which has become quite common, can be remedied easily. We can learn that love is not a feeling, here one moment, gone the next. Love is based upon deeds of love, which we can choose to perform at any

time. We can take charge of our responses, let go of bitterness, and reclaim joy and fulfillment in life, moment by moment, no matter who is there. Then we are learning how to live a life of love, which no one or circumstance can take away. A couple of exercises follow, from the course The Choice, follow. Try them and truly make this Valentines Day a day of love for everyone you meet. List Three People You Have Difficulty With Write down three ways in which they are beautiful Find three valuable things about them Recall ways in which they have given to you or to others Write them a note or give them a call, telling them the ways in which you appreciate them. Consciously Take Charge of Your Perceptions For the next few days, become a friend to all you meet. In your interactions, let them be the star. Look for that which is lovely about them. Find ways of giving to them, of making their day special. Give To Others What You Want For Yourself Stop waiting for them to make the first overtures. Give to the other what you want from them Give with no expectations of returns. Give for the joy of giving Open Your Hands if You Want to Be Held. From Sarah: I discovered Dr. Shoshanna just a few weeks ago and quickly got her permission to reprint her articlesshes amazing, and youll love her book Save Your Relationship. Just go here to read more about Dr. Shoshanna and get quick, new help for your relationship>>

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Get your free report, exclusive discounts, bonuses & our FREE newsletter to help you: Talk to a man in the way that works! Make him fall for you quickly Turn your love life around...now... Email: No Spam | Cancel at any time There is amazing chemistry between the two of you. You feel like you can read each others minds. You feel like this is a true emotional connection. You feel as though he gets me You have spent hours and hours on the phone. You have gone on several amazing dates. You are talking everyday and texting often. After only a few weeks, you know you are in love You feel like you have met the one.

He Hasnt Called Or Text In 5 Hours, Did I Do Something Wrong?

Source: http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/he-hasntcalled-or-text-in-5-hours-did-i-do-something-wrong/

By Jonathon Aslay Dear Friends, Has this dating scenario happened to you or a friend? You meet this wonderful guy Hes attractive Hes smart Hes a gentleman Hes into you Hes got a great job Hes funny Hes attentive Did I mention hes into you

You Are Finally Dating THE ONE

Can you believe it, THE ONE. You have been searching for the one your whole life. You have hoped and prayed he would find you. You have kisses a lot of frogs, but now you are dating your prince. There are butterflies circling your stomach. There are arrows from where Cupid shot you. There are even women going, damn shes lucky. Everything you have ever wished for in a romantic relationship has now come true. BUT WAIT! He hasnt called or texted in 5 hours! WHAT! You guys check in like clockwork almost every few hours, so whats up. Does the following start going through your mind??? Did I do something wrong? Is he angry at me?
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Jonathon Is he in the hospital? Has he met someone else? Is he just not that into me anymore? All of a sudden youre experiencing the worst panic attack surging through your body. Every fear youve had about commitment phobic men is beginning to be realized. From The Editors: Jonathon KNOWS the male brain. He coaches women on how to choose better when it comes to men, and he has a huge following. We just LOVE him and know youll love his free tips, too so go here to find out how you can succeed at dating->

You Start Approach Trauma

Wondering How to This New Dating

Should I text him with just a check in? Should I email him a funny joke to let him know I am thinking of him? Should I drive by his place to make sure he is ok? OMGosh, now its been 5 1/2 hours, something must really be wrong. Hes met someone else hasnt he. What a jerk, I cant believe him. Im done! He is so missing out on this best girl in his life. Its now 5 hours and 47 minutes later and you got the cutest text from him. Hows it going? Ahhhhhh relief He loves me again Yay! What was I thinking? Why did I go into such a spin? Why did I worry? Is there something wrong with me? Thank God I didnt call him. Thank God I didnt bug him. Thank God he didnt see my needy side. Thank God everything is ok. Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever Practiced Patience? Wishing you a fantastic Weekend. Bring Him Close Free Report... Get your free report, exclusive discounts, bonuses & our FREE newsletter to help you: Talk to a man in the way that works! Make him fall for you quickly Turn your love life around...now... Email: No Spam | Cancel at any time

Top Tips To Overcome The Frustration Of Sexless Marriage

by Kate Dixon

Source: http://www.loveromancerelationship.com/top-tips-toovercome-the-frustration-of-sexless-marriage/

A sexless marriage may look like a normal marriage from the outside. Spouses may behave and act normally, and they may even find pleasure in each others company. But, a relationship in which there is no sexual fulfillment is like a tap with a leak. The pleasure of the bond leaks away bit by bit, until, in the end there is only the shell of togetherness left. When one partner yearns for more physical fulfillment and demands more intimacy and the other partner is too distracted, busy, stressed or angry to understand and fulfill this desire, the result
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is frustration. And frustration is the worm that lives in the heart of the apple.

Some of the Ways Overcome the Frustration of a Sexless Marriage:

Talk positive: Too many times, we are highly critical of our partners. We may not know it, but we are actually killing the very thing that they love in us. Instead of picking on their failings, try praising their achievements. When the other person feels good about themselves and the world, they are more likely to start responding to your needs positively. Exercise: Studies have shown that men and women who are in great physical shape are most likely to enjoy sex more. Exercise, develop a great body for you and your marriage.

The Reasons That Lead to a Sexless Marriage Are Varied and to Quite Complicated
But, instead of feeling bitter and increasingly frustrated over the lack of physical intimacy, become actively involved in the welfare of your marriage. Work at it, as you would work on a project from office, and youll start noticing the difference! Women Click Here to discover how to get your husband or boyfriend interested in sex once more and restore the passion you once had. From Sarah Oh, this sounds AWFUL! As I read this article I thought why would I want to stay in a sexless marriage? And then I realized that the whole point of Kate talking about this is because she can FIX it! I KNOW this is fixableits about WAY more than sex, or any one thingso, if youre not getting the sex you want in your relationship READ Kates book Get Him In The Mood right here and fix your sexless marriage>>

Share: Living under one roof is not enough, you also need to share your daily lives, and find the time to get pleasure from sharing. Yes, kids may be crying at the table, one of them may be running a fever or the other may be ready for their ballet classes. In the middle of all this, partners need to find an anchor that keeps them tied to each other. Make out: Remember when you were first dating, how you would play games with each other, flirt, entice and toy with the other persons desire? Have those kinds of dates. It is not necessary that such evenings always end in sex. Just allow yourself to feel the same things you did when you were courting. Find hobbies and interests: Do not build your life around your spouse. This is hard advice to follow, particularly in these times when everyone is so busy with the office and the family that there is no time to cultivate other interests or hobbies. Give each other space. This very space acts like an aphrodisiac.

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