1.Sardar Ji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," says the rep.

Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up. 2.Sardar ji is filling up a job application He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED After much thought he writes: Yes 3. What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies? He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes. 4.What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet? He makes a photocopy of the white sheet. 5.Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he recognised me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied. 6.Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed. 7.A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter t old him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions: a. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". b. How many seconds are there in a year? The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered... a. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. b. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is ok. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?" The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...." Saint Peter lets him in without another word. 8.What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

9.How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday. 10. You should be sure the person is Sardar when he: -tries to drown a fish in water -thinks socialism means partying -takes a ruler to bed to see how long he slept -at the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagitta rius" -studies for a blood test. 11."Have you ever read Shakespeare?" Sardar: "No, who wrote it?" 12. Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twe lve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." 13. Why did the Sardar climb on the roof? He was told that the drinks were on the house. 14. Surprise attack by Pakistanis in darkness. When all hope is lost, suddenly a sardar wearing a mosquito net jumps out firing. The Pakistanis get the fright o f their life seeing this ghostly figure and run away. Sardar is congratulated on his brilliance. He responds "oh it was nothing, when small mosquitos cannot ent er the net how can Pakistani bullets enter it". 15. "You look tired sardar" "Well there was a power cut for four hours when I was on the escalator." 16. "Why are you sitting on the computer sardar?" "To compress the files." 17. "Sardar! Smoke is coming out from the computer!" "Dont worry it must be from the seach engine inside." 18. what made the sardar put his envelope in the floppy drive? He was told to use that computer for mailing. 19. She: "Sardar will you give me a ring on our engagement day?" "Sure, on your mobile or landline?" 20. Two men are planting a live bomb in a car. The first man in a trembling voic e asks "sardar, what if this bomb explodes now?" "Don't worry I have four more bombs left". 21. The restaurant owner sardar puts up a sign "The manager has personally passe d all the drinks served here". 22. The Gynaecologist sardar puts up a sign "Specialist in women and other disea ses". 23. A sardar is standing at a bus stop in the pouring rain with no coat or umbre lla, when a car slides up to the kerb and stops beside him. Thinking he has just been offere d a lift he opens the door and gets in relieved to be out of the wet. "Thanks pal I thought I would never......" he looks across at the driver and there is no one i n the seat. Next thing the car moves off silently and for the next four miles it stops

at every red light, obeys every traffic law and finally comes to a stop at the top of the road where the guy lives - he is by now is in a severe state of shock and anxiet y and the only reason he has not jumped from the car en-route is because it was travel ling so slowly that he knew he could get out at any time if something unearthly happe ned. Anyway it was going his way and keeping him dry! Now it is stopped at the kerb a gain just up the street from where he lives and the sardar gets out, closes the door and as he turns to head off home he bumps into another sardar who is going to get into the car. "Hey buddy I would not get in that car if I were you there's something weird abo ut it" "Yeah, I know" says the second sardar " But I've just pushed it four miles a nd I really need the rest". 24. Why was there egg splashed all over the place in sardar's house? Because his cookbook said "beat 12 eggs seperately". But why was the sardar naked when he served his preparation? Because his cookbook said "to be served without dressing". 25. Teacher "How does a motor work"? Sardar puts his hands up. But the teacher a sks Joe to answer. Joe does not know. Now the teacher looks at the sarda r "well?". Sardar "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr". 26. Teacher "use the word 'beans' in a setence". Sardar "we are all human beans". 27. Teacher "In India after every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid". Sardar stands up- "we must find & stop her!". 28. Teacher "why does Dr Manmohan Sigh go for a walk in the evenings and not in the mornings?" Sardar "because he is PM and not AM". 29. Teacher "how would you kill a lion?" Sardar "I will drink poison and let the lion eat me". 30. The surprised teacher "you are right- the answer is H2O. Can you elaborate" Sardar "hijklmno" 31. Teacher "why do people like the moon more than the sun?" Sardar "because the moon gives light in the night when light is needed and s un gives light in the day time when there is no need for light". 32. Teacher "why are doing your sums sitting on the floor?" Sardar "Because you told not to use tables". 33. Teacher "can you name a word that has more than 25 letters in it" Sardar "Post box". 34. Teacher "why are you late to school everyday?"

Sardar "because of the sign 'Go slow school ahead'". 35. Teacher "Joe locate America in the map". Joe does so promptly. Teacher to sa rdar "who discovered America?". Sardar "Joe". 36. Teacher "your socks are strange - one is green and the other blue" Sardar "I have one such strange pair in my house too". 37. First guy "how do you know the kid is a sardar?" Second guy "look at him write down all that the teacher writes on the board and erase it all when the teacher wipes the board". 38. Sardar to his friend "I din't know the past tense of 'think'. So I thought a nd thought for a long time and wrote 'thunk'". 39. Teacher "tell me a sentence beginning with 'i'" Sardar "I is.." Teacher interrupts "'I am' - not 'I is'.." Sardar "I am the 9th alphabet of English". 40. Sardar decided to go in for higher studies. So he climbed the mountain with his school bag strapped to his back. 41. Sardar at a race "if only the winner is given the cup why are the others al so running?" 42. A Sardarji decided he was going into the chicken farming business. He prompt ly went to the town store and bought 100 chickens. After a few days he went to t he store again and asked for another 100 chickens. The storekeepeer asked "is an ything wrong?". The sardar replied "yes, the chickens I bought earlier died". St orekeeper "what was the problem?". Sardar "I guess I planted them too deep". 43. Daddy sardar "look at me, I am very clean and you are so dirty". Son sardar "I am a lot closer the ground then you are". 44. Two men decide to steal their office cash at night. While they were at it th ey suddenly hear police siren. One of them a sardar shouts "quick jump out throu gh the window." The other man says "but we are on the 13th floor". Sardar "this is no time for superstition". 45. The Sardar was not sure whether he was going to his office are coming from i t. So he looked into his lunch box. 46. Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife these days because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women. 47. The building was on fire and the sardar managed to pull out seven persons fr om the inferno. He was however jailed because all of them were firefighters. 48. The excited Sardar calls up his brother "I have become a father. The baby wa s delivered just now. I don't know yet whether it is a boy or a girl. So I canno t tell you whether you are aunt or uncle." 49. A Sardar is in the library , bangs down a book and says :" too boring, too m any characters and no story". The librarian walks upto him snatches the book fro m him and says "so you are the one who took the phone directory ". 50. Two Sardar students meet each other on campus. One says to the other "Where did you get that new bike?" The other replys "Well, I was walking to class the

other day when this pretty co-ed rode up, jumped off her bike, took off all her clothes and said 'You can have anything you want!'" "Good idea", his friend replied. "Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."